Huh.

This isn’t a real post.  I’m just going through my pictures of Australia and I found a few that I thought you might like.  Or not.  It’s not a real post so you can’t judge me.

Australians don't know how to spell "fuck" correctly.
This was in a section of "household signs". Possibly "bugger" doesn't mean what I think it does.
I was looking for sunscreen and found these instead. Contains bits of real kangaroo. And placenta. And colostrum. It's bursting with health. And massive grossness.
Possibly the greatest sick bag ever. I put all of my best stuff in it so no one would steal it.

To be continued when the rest of my photos finally download.

147 thoughts on “Huh.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. “how ever you say it it all comes out the same.” That’s brilliant. I read the whole bag in the Outback Guy’s voice.

  2. I think the bestest thing is the ‘Moooo’ they added to the cow clip art on the colostrum.

  3. My brother totally had a fcuk tote bag years ago…it now is kicking around my basement somewhere…perhaps I need to change diaper bags….

  4. Maybe the combination of the Kangaroo costume and the Essence of Kangaroo would have had the live Kangaroo feeling more “friendly” towards you. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…

  5. Really want a sick bag like that. Why are british ones plain?! You’re right tho, no-one’s gonna steal owt

  6. Thank you for making me glad I’m not a pharmacist in Australia. I love your brain, Jenny. 🙂

  7. ‘Bugger’ is what we say when things go wrong! For example – when a mate says “Hit a bloody ‘roo with me car last night. Put a fucking big dent in me bonnet!” To which the correct response would be “Bugger”

    (But doesn’t it basically mean “fuck”? Because I think either way it means “fuck”. I could be wrong.~ Jenny)

  8. One year a friend of mine received some placenta as a Christmas gift. It was supposed to be great for your hair? Anyway she said when she used it she couldn’t stop thinking about what it was and ended up vomiting in the shower. She probably could have used that great sick bag you’ve got there 🙂

  9. Bugger is another term we use for bloody hell or shit. Basically when something goes wrong, hilariously some of the older generation say ‘well bugger me’ obviously not meaning the literal sense but as in well I never.

  10. What Michelle said. It does get a bit confusing with different lingos. Thongs are also something completely different here too.

    I’m also wondering what store you were in that they were selling that! I’ve never seen it in my multiple journeys around Oz.

  11. I have a tampon disposable bag from a gas station in Germany that has a picture of a gun on it. One of my favorite souvenirs ever.

    (You’re using your gun-disposal bag wrong. ~ Jenny)

  12. Bugger also means ‘fuck’ or ‘have sex’ . For example, he wanted to bugger her when he smelled the essence of kangaroo.

  13. I take colostrum pills when I feel like I’m getting sick. And it totally helps. True story. I mean we drink the milk from cows; it’s kind of the same thing.

  14. I have FCUK glasses. a conversation starter when people see the brand name on the temples. I think I bought them on purpose.

  15. Thanks, May (#42)! I was trying to think of a polite way to explain “bugger”.

    I love the pictures and hope to see more!!!

  16. Yeah, my Asian sis in law bought me Australian Sheep Placenta lotion, and darned if it wasn’t the best lotion evah…just try not to think about what you’re slathering on.

  17. Wait, I thought buggery was anal sex, to bugger someone was have sex with them in the boodie. Am I wrong? Can some folks from the both the UK and Australia please explain. Inquiring minds want to know!

  18. Where the hell were you shopping to find those sorts of products, in all my life I’ve never seen them. But I do have a placenta in my freezer and capsules in the fridge. I’m assuming you never made it over to Western Australia? Would have loved to have met you!

  19. “Bugger” actually means sodomy, not just any old sex. But for Aussies, “fuck” is used to separate each word in a sentence like the rest of the world uses whitespace, so they reserve “bugger” for use where everybody else would say “fuck”,

  20. Yep, bugger specifically means back-door fucking, which Australians know, but bizarrely it’s still considered a “soft” swear word, like crap – even softer than “shit”. Yep, it doesn’t make sense. Especially the “bugger me” version.

    My husband flinches when he hears shit or fuck, but still says “bugger” comfortably.

    But we think Americans are weird for “fanny” (as in fanny pack – to you it means bum, to us it’s lady parts and somewhat ruder) and “root” as in “rooting for you” which in Australia would mean “fucking for you”. . . generous, but surely unusual. “She’s a good root” would mean “She’s a good fuck”.

    And we giggle at “fcuk” too.

    Louise Curtis
    clearing up cultural confusion since 1982

  21. At first I though Essence of Kangaroo might be some strange cologne. Then I saw what was next to it. Ew, someone eats that. Although it probably tastes better than Vegemite. *ducks and hides*

  22. I can’t wait to tell to my kids all that I learned today! They are adults, don’t think I’m some kind of mom pervert. They will be relieved that I didn’t have to ask them to explain. Makes them kinda squeamish.

  23. I applaud your judgment in just taking pictures and not stealing all that awesomeness. Unless you did actually steal it and this is just a clever ruse.

  24. Heh! Tried to diplomatically explain one “rude” term by using another that’s probably even more obscure. (But that’s what dictionaries are for, y’all!) This while peppering the same comment with “fuck”. I’ve been in Oz too long.

    BTW, that’s the real reason for all the Aussie slang: to obfuscate and impede communication, like ebonics. It’s not to be cute, and it’s certainly not for brevity, since many of those terms are much longer than the much clearer plain English terms.

  25. Nz here. Bugger means a person who has anal sex, the act of anal sex being buggery. But we Antipodeans use the word bugger as a curse word in the same context as you would (and we also) use f*ck and/or sh*t. It isn’t really too difficult to see how it came to be synonymous with either word. It is a minor curse word, like Damn or Hell, it isn’t quite polite dinner language but people don’t really blink at it either.

  26. But seriously, why is “being fucked” considered such a bad thing? Isn’t it actually a good thing? Isn’t it what everyone is constantly thinking about and striving for?

    People are weird!

  27. Here you can see the word “bugger” in general context. Funny part was, the complaints received over this ad weren’t because of the language, but because of the perception that the cow was injured in the ad.

  28. Essence of Kangaroo? They have so many Kangaroos in Australia they put them in pills? Do the pills make you jump higher or kick the shit out of your enemies?

  29. Nobody ever said us Aussies weren’t mad as cut snakes… We use bugger all the time. My kids even use bugger… It’s funny how it freaks the New Yorkers out.

  30. OMG. Storing your best stuff reminded me of a hotel stay where my mom put her powdered donuts in the sanitary product disposal bags. Somewhere I have a picture of her enjoying the previous day’s donut out of one of those. Hilarious.

  31. In 2000, when I was living in Paris for my junior semester abroad, I purchased a FCUK (French Connection UK) shirt that said “peanut butter me undress & cover in me.” I felt perfectly comfortable wearing it in France, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear it where someone could easily parse the sentence.

  32. SO looking forward to the rest of the pictures. Although if these were all you brought back, they would be enough. 😉 Barring anything previously in the barf bag.

  33. The funny part about the word bugger is that we Australians overused it so much that it was officially decided that it’s not an offensive word anymore.

    I was a child when it happened but I have a vague memory of it’s meaning being changed in some famous dictionary or something. It not longer meant ‘anal sex’ but now meant ‘oh dear’.

    And a bugger was no longer a sodomite but rather a term you would use to affectionately refer to an old man. “You silly old bugger”

    With regard to saying “well bugger me” when something amazed/surprised you, I used to work with a lady who would say “well bugger me with the rough end of a pineapple” when she was especially surprised/amazed.

    Gotta love Australia!!

  34. I had a grandmother from Northumberland and she demonstrated the sheer flexibility of saying ‘bugger’.

    ‘Bugger!’ for a semi-hardcore ‘Damn!’, ‘You little bugger!’ for admonishing a child and ‘You daft bugger!’ as a term of affection. It really is a splendidly versatile word.

    As for the meaning, it originally came from ‘buggery’ which was the legal phrase for sodomy in British courts.

  35. That is the best barf bag ever — I particularly appreciate its advice to use it instead of your carry on!

  36. Wow I totally thought they misspelled Burger at first instead of Bugger. The FCUK sign is amazing as well 🙂 Nice pictures, Australia seems awesome.

  37. Mirriam-Webster, Essence: a substance that contains in very strong form the special qualities (such as the taste and smell) of the thing from which it is taken.

    So…essence of kangaroo? How do you bottle that, exactly?

  38. Do you think they’d make any money selling the sheep placenta and essence of kangaroo online? I’d buy one just to see if someone bidded on it on ebay.

  39. There is totally a FCUK at the Galleria in Houston.
    T-shirts with FCUK were specifically banned from my school back in the 90s. The headmaster was like, “I can’t believe I have to explicitly say this but….”

  40. Only from the Bloggess and her followers can one learn more about various sexual acts, foreign vocabulary, and unusual nutritional supplements than one may ever have wanted to know. Also, I’m feeling very British using “one” so often — or should I say, “One feels very British saying “one” so often”. PS – foreign pharmacies are fun (and a little intimidating).

  41. I am a real live Australian so I need to defend my species a little here.
    As someone rightly pointed out, you can blame the British for fcuk.
    Bugger means ‘dammit’ as in ‘bugger it’ or it can be a verb as in ‘it’s buggered’ which basically means it’s fucked and yes, that could be in the Old English sense of buggering but not neccessaily:)
    As for the placenta and colostrum- at least they are from animals. I read a blog entry just last week from one of your copatriots describing the preparation, cooking and eating of her own placenta.
    I do wonder what extract of kangaroo can offer me though in terms of health… Or should I just cook up the Skippy in my freezer?

  42. Buggery is anal sex. It’s also a common “British” expression. People seem to call kids little buggers all the time. It confuses me 🙂
    We have FCUK in Canada!

  43. We visited New Orleans many times while living in Louisiana and would always laugh at the FCUK sign at the store located there. But the clothes were super cute! We took to calling it “Fuh-Kuk”.

  44. Another Aussie chiming in here. I have never in my life seen anything with a sheep’s placenta available like that. I think it is gross too. As Nicole pointed out, bugger is a fairly mild well used form of ‘damn it’. You can also say ‘bugger off’ if someone/something is annoying you. It is like a much softer, more socially acceptable, way of saying fuck off. You can say it in front of kids for instance (ie. bugger off flies/mosquitoes/insert whatever you want here!).

  45. See? I told you that you would love Australia, and that you had to go. Did I lie?

    Plus, when was the last time you found a haunted abandoned amusement park to break into?

  46. You mean to say they didn’t carry Emu Oil or Goanna Oil too?
    You really missed out. They are awesome.

    Bugger, means what you think. It’s also a fairly mild expression of disappointment. We are allowed to say it on TV.

  47. Jenny… I’ve been meaning to tell you since I heard it on the radio. Apparently here in North Queensland we have the only guy in Australia who stuffs kangaroo scrotums to make into bottle openers etc. Would you like me to mail one to you? I’m serious!

  48. Jenny, it is against the law to write about Australia, or photograph anything in Australia, without commenting on, or showing, beer.

    Just telling you so you don’t go to jail.

    And bugger does mean that, but in an nice way.

  49. Stylish vomit bags, misspelled curse words, bits of kangaroo on shelves…. Are you sure you went to Australia, Jenny?

    Sounds to me like you wound up in Wonderland… while on very, very bad acid.

    Still, you had fun and scored a few posts out of the deal, plus you walked away relatively unscathed so it’s all good.

  50. I can’t say I have come across the sheep placenta, essence of kangaroo or colostrum. I think I need to explore our country a little more….

  51. I’m excited to see that so many posts are wishful you brought home “essence of kangaroo”. I’m just here to join with the hopers and dreamers.
    Please, tell us all about how it cures what ails.

  52. This is my favorite part of traveling, and hearing about others’ travels: seeing the every day life things. Of course I love the scenery shots, but weird products in the grocery store and barf bags are the epitome of learning how everyone else lives.

  53. Unlike some of the other worldly readers who commented above, I have never seen FCUK stores, so I must admit that is my favorite. My next novel character will be a dyslexic cusser in honor of you.

  54. For a while here in Britain, lots of people wore stuff with “FCUK” on it in huge letters. The joke got irritating after the first hundred times. I wished that I had mad clothes-make-ey skills so I could nab someone’s jacket and quickly “correct” the spelling on it while they weren’t looking.
    Wouldn’t “Kangaroo Essence” just be kangaroo stock? I’ve seen a Chinese jar of powdered chicken stock labeled “Chicken Powder,” which made something ordinary sound pretty disturbing.

  55. Australians rarely get to see the goldmine of bizarre tourist goods sold in our country. I want some Essence of Kangaroo – HAAAAA!!!! All of these pictures tell me you were in the joke section of a tourist shop (run by Chinese and frequented by Germans and Americans). Except for the FCUK, which stands for French Connection, United Kingdom (a British label) HAHAHA Laughing my arse off!

  56. Essence of….Kangaroo?!

    My first thought was ‘why doesn’t the UK have cool shit like that?’ but I suppose we would have Essence of Corgi or Essence of Bulldog or something along those lines.

  57. They’re CHEWABLE colostrum tablets. Gag.

    That is the best sick bag I’ve ever seen. Multiculturalism and puke jokes together at last! My Mum used to keep the bills to be paid in a Continental Air sick bag.

  58. Wow, I went to the internet to see what “essence of kangaroo” is, and the guardian.uk had an espose’ back in 2007 so it’s a good thing you didn’t get it. Apparently kangaroo testes are no better an aphrodisiac than hamburger.

    But then in the sidebar I found this video so my day is complete anyway. If anyone finds out *why* this guy was cutting open a whale that died of natural causes, let me know will ya?
    http://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2013/nov/27/sperm-whale-explodes-man-opens-stomach-video

  59. “Bugger” is used like a stronger version of “damn” in parts of Canada, speaking to our British roots. Drop an egg on the kitchen floor? “Well, bugger!” Smack your elbow on a sharp corner? “OW! Bugger, that hurt!” I often add an “s” for some unknown reason: “buggers!” It’s also synonymous for “old fart” (as in “don’t walk on George’s lawn, he’s a mean old bugger!”), stupid person (“that silly bugger just drove into the ditch”), or “get lost” (“bugger off!”). I’ve upgraded to “fuck” in my old age, I’ll admit. There is something resonantly satisfying about a hearty “fuck me!” that “bugger” simply doesn’t manage to pull off. And thanks to the folk who posted the Toyota car commercial; funniest commercial ever, & saves me having to look for the link. And yes, technically, the word still means what it means.

  60. Can I lay this confusion over the word “Bugger” to rest?

    In the English language technically bugger means the same as sodomy. But…..somehow, somewhere over the centuries the term bugger has been changed into a slang word which is mainly used in the North of England and Australia and has also come to mean….

    (A) a term of endearment…I used to affectionately call my Dad “the old bugger”
    (B) an expletive if something goes wrong “Oh bugger!” or “You little bugger!”
    (C) an exclamation of surprise “Bugger me!” or “Bugger off, no way?”
    (D) an exclamation of anger “Oi you! Bugger off!”
    (E) a term for getting nothing as in “I went to the sales today but there was bugger all left!”
    (F) a term for fondness “I’m a bugger for an Eccles cake!”

    Hope this helps x

  61. Oh dear God.

    Clever barf bags aside, why are we not more appalled by CHEWABLE colostrum? Was it flavored? Orange zest, or some shit? I hope so.

    I’m going to be thinking about this for hours.

    Black cherry? French Vanilla?

  62. Wait, don’t you have FCUK (French Connection United Kingdom) in the States? We have them all over in Canada (not something to be proud of, just an observation)

  63. Not sure if you have already seen it, but the Bugger reference is from this series of ads for Toyota.
    Bugger is used as an expletive (like ‘doggarn’!) and as used probably shows the Aussie and Kiwi sense of humour at it’s best.

  64. I bet Essence of Kangaroo pongs – my experience of them (and wallabies) is that they pong of pee. A photo is definitely better than spending $60 on a joke souvenir.

    There are similar shops in New Zealand catering for Asian tourists who seem to just take coach tours to shops selling deer velvet and lanolin.

    I haven’t seen anything similar in England – the little touristy shops are a delight either for their tacky bits and pieces or the genuinely cute stuff.

  65. My boyfriend took a trip to England when he was 16. While there he bought a shirt from FCUK, and it just has the logo on the front. At some later point in time he wore the shirt to Disney World. They wouldn’t let him in until he turned his shirt inside out. He tried to explain it was just a brand and it didn’t say fuck, but it wasn’t happening…

  66. I worked for a big department store chain about 10 years ago and French Connection UK launched a new fragrance that caused my location in a small suburban town to be contractually obligated to hang LARGE signs that read FCUK all over the inside and outside of the store. The store management team knew this was a bad idea but it was a multi million dollar campaign for the company, so the signs went up. By noon on the launch day we were removing all signs and advertising materials. Never underestimate the power of American cranky suburban housewives, they can seriously move mountains when the desire to complain moves them. Now if they could just get together and do something constructive but who am I fooling in thinking that would ever happen….

  67. We also sell cakes containing colostrum! They’re called “Beasting Cakes” (from “Beasting Milk”, which is the milk the cow produces in the first few days after calving. It’s full of antibodies to protect the calf whilst it’s still highly vulnerable to illness) although some people mistakenly spell it “Bee-sting”. Basically, it’s a kind of custard sponge sandwich with chocolate icing.

    By the way, Australian cakes have half the sugar of American cakes. We can’t handle American recipes without altering the sugar content. If you want to make a white Australian’s head explode, feed them a “Jolly Rancher”. They’re like a sugar concentrate. And OUR cakes are too sweet for people from Hong Kong!

  68. For true Ëssence of Kangaroo”, just grab one as it’s passing, and rub it under your armpits. It’s a deodorant AND an aphrodisiac.

  69. I was in Vancouver, BC and saw a FCUK store and took a picture thinking WTH!!! Then my friend has to point out to me that it’s a popular store all over the world…I just want to say FCUK!!!

    Missed being out of the loop and seeing your posts…glad I’m back and able to have the time to read them again!

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