Who are you?

It’s a holiday week and none of us are really working so I made this to distract us even more. ย Yay for distractions!


531 thoughts on “Who are you?

Read comments below or add one.

  1. *salutes*
    Captain Radioactive Bumbershoot, reporting for duty!
    *falls over laughing*

    thank you, i needed this so bad today.

  2. I rather like my new name. And I’m supposed to be writing and instead I’m drinking wine and checking out the names of all my characters on here. Today I’m thankful for procrastination and the internet. (We don’t do Thanksgiving in England but I can have a go, right?)

  3. I’m Delicious Emo Raptor?!? I didn’t know raptors could be Emo, or eaten, since they’re vicious predators, kinda like me ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Mellifluous Argle-bargler I am! Will take me a bit to get used to spelling that out but I like it!

  5. Lurid Post-Modern Slangwanger. Well, I don’t really have a middle initial, but if I had one it would probably be a P because of family history. And I decided that before looking at the words. Anyways, I love you. No, no, not like that. I don’t actually fall in love romantically with strangers over the web. Usually.

  6. I be Admiral Bawdy Slangbanger, wife to Janky Radioactive Slangbanger and mama to Epic Jittery & Feverish Ridonkulous! ๐Ÿ˜›

  7. Twitter-pated Angry Bumbershoot…. Good Lord, I’m an angry, laxative dispensing super hero.

  8. Captain Angry Vixen, I like it! I think I will introduce myself as such today and see what happens ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Mrs. Ridonkulous Killer Man-Crush, since I’m using my married last name instead of the one on my license. I can’t wait to tell my husband that he’s Mr. Delicious Man-Crush. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  10. I love you even more for this. My alter-ego doesn’t have a middle name, so I’m just going to be Admiral I-See-What-You-Did-There because I can be anybody I want on the Interwebz. Mwahahahahaha.

  11. Well. This is a thing. I feel like I should sign all of my emails to grad school with this.

  12. I was always jealous of the Bond girl names, so I gave myself one:
    Kitty Humpswell
    So, I’m sticking with that

  13. Kinky Detachable Jesus.
    Fuck. Yes.
    I am either going to turn that into a shirt or a very blasphemous lady toy.
    ‘Cause who wouldn’t want a detachable Jesus for their lady bits??

  14. I am most amused by my father…Admiral man-crush. I envision a filmed-in-the-garage/technicolor gay softcore of the Love Boat.

  15. I normally hate these things because I always get the stupidest names. Only you could fix this problem for me! I’m super excited to introduce myself as “Sassy Jittery Post-Modern Pirate” Thanks for making my day ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. Okay, I’m going to be the newbie here…what exactly is a ‘slangwanger’?
    If, I am to use it forthwith, then I should know if it’s going to upset my postman in future .

  17. Captain Ladygarden Titmouse, at your service! I may shorten it to Lady Tit. Think I like that better.

  18. Thank you from Great Ladygarden Heroine!!!

    Happy Thanksgiving to the Jenny and the other US-based commenters!!!!

  19. Bootylicious Angry Raptor. It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it’s definitely fitting.

  20. I’m “Bootielicious Janky Hottie” LOL I like it! Thanks Jenny!

    Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in Bloggess-land. Try to enjoy your family get-togethers, and don’t kill anyone! (Unless you absolutely MUST)


  21. Never thought of my self as “Janky Wheezy-Raptor” but who knows. My poower would be relentless and bounchy chasing while breathing with a terrifyingly raspy huffing and puffing throu vicisiously sharp teeth…I may have to stop every once in a while to use an inhaler…but then you are TOAST!

  22. My husband immediately went, “what’s mine?” He is also a Janky Ladygarden Cannibal. I am a Sassy Ladygarden Cannibal. My first thought….I’M A CANNIBAL??? WHHHOOOOO! Winnninnnggg.

  23. Sassy Designated Drunk sounds about right. I’m over eight years sober, but I will always be a drunk. One Thanksgiving (when I was still drinking), I locked myself in a bathroom. I was farting so bad my sister thought I was giving myself a perm. Then she had to call the suicide hotline because I threatened to swallow a super-sized bottle of aspirin. Happy Thanksgiving! ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. If I use the name my mom gave me Iโ€™m Melliffluous Ladygarden Argle-Bargle.

    If I use my online name Iโ€™m Mellifluous Designated-drunk.

    So going with my online name! Works perfectly with my super-human powers.

  25. Norwegian SpunkFilled Wonderduck!! I’m not sure about this, I may need a round of antibiotics!

  26. But there are names that start with X – Xavier, Xander, Xerxes…and then there’s all those Chinese names.

  27. Kinky Glen-Coco / I Like It. Where do I file the paperwork to change it? I am sure my bosses, the attorneys, won’t mind at all. ” Yes, Call Kinky in the fileroom. She can take care of you.” Ohhh Dirty!

  28. My new name will liven up the holiday table tomorrow, won’t it? I especially like my middle name. That will definitely make the holiday a little more enjoyable. When someone says “XXX is my middle name” to show you how dependable or virtuous or useful they are? Yep, Designated-Drunk is my middle name and I’m here to help.

  29. Muahahahahahaha!!! I am Admiral Cannibal! Thanks to my mom for no middle name/initial! LOL

  30. Melliffiluous Manicorn Slangwanger.

    Absolutely the best super hero name I’ve ever had.

  31. Admiral AngryHeroin(e). Can I leave the “e” off? Looks so much more…cutting edge…dramatic…hardcore…that way.

  32. Sassy Manicorn Cannibal. I don’t really have to eat people do I? I don’t really want to…. lol

  33. My online identity (which, let’s be honest, is the one I’m more comfortable with) becomes:
    Mellifluous Detachable Vixen

    But my RL name becomes:
    Plucky Killer Bumbershoot

  34. Redonkulous Emo Cannibal.

    Why are you hating on my boy Xavier?

    (Xavier is already a superhero name. It’s really not fair to ask for more. ~ Jenny)

  35. Lurid Bumbershoot, but you can call me Obscene Umbrellla or O.U.* for short ๐Ÿ˜‰

    *insert ohyou.jpg

  36. So my superhero/villain name is Great Intoxicated Designated Drunk which is fantastic as I’m teetotal.

  37. Did you know the Unicorn Success Club stickers don’t last long on a motorcycle? It looks awesome on my bike but is peeling after only a couple of weeks. It’s making me a sad panda. Oh well.

    Plucky Angry Falcon-Punch, out.

  38. Ridonkulous Killer Cannible. I totally spelled my name wrong but considering what it is, I dare anyone to fucking correct me.

  39. Okay, BOTH my children are Norwegian Angry Jesus. You can blame Ridonkulous Emo Jesus for that one, because he insisted. Probably why I divorced him. Now married to (Kinky) Manicorn Slangwanger, but he won’t go by the Kinky part because he says that is his father’s name, so I guess he is just Mellifluous.

    –Admiral “Killer” Heroine

  40. If I use my full name, including hypenated maiden name, I am Kinky Jesus Post-Modern Galactic Slangwanger. Pleased to meet you all.

    Also, sort of amused / disturbed by “Spunk-filled” because Spunk was my husband’s nickname when he was a kid. Ahem. I’ll stick with Slangwanger.

  41. Patti Angry Falcon-Punch,

    I’d try either covering the whole thing with a clear paint-on laminate, or using a sturdy clear stick on laminate. And try to stick on a relatively flat part of the bike.

    -Admiral “Krafty” Heroine

  42. Bootylicious Post-modern Man-crush, at your cervix! ,er, service! Whichever you prefer, I guess.

  43. “Janky Spunk-filled Slangwanger” but no “Her Royal Highness”?!? HOW DARE YOU, SIR.
    P.S. That’s actually my drag queen name. Coincidence? I am amazed.

  44. Who am I? Who am I?

    I’m Jean Valjean. What? No?

    Oh, so it’s “Lurid Fo-Shizzle Glen-coco.”

    Nah. Just call me Jean Valjean.

  45. Great googly moogly — I’m actually “Lurid Spunk-filled Slangwanger.” (Learn the alphabet, LESLIE.) But I like “Janky” better.

  46. I, Twitter-pated Manicorn Pirate, am proud to share my amazing name with the world!

  47. Plucky Jittery Argle-Bargler has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? Really rolls off the tongue of a damsel in distress calling for aid.

  48. Vexing Angry Designated-drunk. How did you know I’m at Disney with my family! ๐Ÿ™‚

  49. Mellifluous Cromulent Argle-bargler… I LIKE IT! I wonder how my husband will feel about Admiral Pirate Sassy…?

  50. ZOMG Wonderduck.


    I can live with that ๐Ÿ™‚

    (Boyfriend is Sassy Raptor though. Dammit! Sassy Raptor is even better than ZOMG Wonderduck!
    …Or ZOMG Jittery Wonderduck and Sassy Radioactive Raptor, to give us our full titles.)

  51. Bootylicious Angry Bumbershoot. Thank god my parents managed to branch out from the B’s for my middle name, or I would have been Bootylicious Bawdy Bumbershoot. Which ultimately is just kind of boring.

    Also, Xander (derivative of alexander) and Xavier. For last names, Xu, Xenakis, Xie, Xanthos, Xiao. These are real people in our customer database. Actually, three people have the last name Xie and two people have Xu. I think you might need to come up with some choices for X.

  52. Come to think of it, full title would be ZOMG Jittery Angry Wonderduck (x2 middle names Jennifer + Ann) which…in all honesty…sums me up really :/ The Wonder might be wishful thinking, but I’ll take it.

  53. Some possible choices for people that have names starting with X:
    1. Xenopus
    2. Xerotic
    3. Xyloid

    I have no idea what these words mean (found them with a Google search for “words that start with X”), but they apparently all count for Scrabble and they sound cool.

  54. Captain Ladygarden Bumbershoot or Captain Bawdy… either way I am supremely pleased. ๐Ÿ™‚

  55. “Hottie Detachable Cannibal” ? That’s not even remotely entertaining. I has a sad.

  56. mellifluous cannibal….gives a new meaning to “sing for your supper” Way to go on adding to my procrastination. Thanks! ๐Ÿ™‚

  57. Angry Sassy Pirate here. Who is apparently married to Plucky Manicorn Pirate.

    You just totally made my day!

  58. Twitterpated Manicorn Bumbershoot To the Rescue!!! I wonder hat my symbol should look like I just hope my costume doesn’t end up looking like what brought me to this place, so long ago (samurai unicorn video, anyone remember that one?)

  59. Sassy Intoxicated Argle-Bargler sounds pretty good to me (and my various nom de plumes).

  60. I am Janky Angry Wonderduck. I am married to Melliffluous Radioactive Wonderduck and our 13 year old daughter Captain Radioactive Wonderduck!

  61. I’m sticking with Nanarchy, which i had already coined for myself in case I’m ever drafted into the roller
    derby…,but yours are good too;)

  62. My husband, Sassy Manicorn Slangwanger, and I thank you very much for our new and improved names.
    Plucky Angry Tantric Slangwanger

  63. Mellifluous Orgasm – heh that works!

    Also, my coworker’s daughter’s name begins with an X, because apparently he hates her ๐Ÿ˜›

  64. I want to change my initials please! – Kinky Jittery Argle-bargler just doesn’t sound superheroy or villainy!

  65. Delicious Admiral Janky.
    Or, Detachable Jesus. (/sings to the tune of King’s X ‘Detachable Penis.”)
    Happy TurkeyDay, Janky LadyGarden.

  66. Vexing Angry Dedicated-Drunk: Able to yell at you about inconsequential shit from inside your personal space circle while slurring her words.

    Yeah, that sounds about right.

  67. Mellifluous Angry Pirate. Jesus, the local paper is going to have hell with this when I start saving the city. Or destroying it. Depends on the day and how low I am on wine.

  68. You’ve hurt my husband Xander’s feelings. Just kidding, a ridonkulous angry pirate would never marry a man named Xander.

  69. Introducing…

    Bootylicious Ladygarden Yoga-Pants!

    thank you thank you *curtsies*

    Also my kids name is Xander…so you might want to adjust your table. Lol.

  70. I had a friend in school named Xotchil (pronounced so-chee)…. So, yeah, she deserves a name!


    Plucky Detachable Falcon-Punch

  71. Hi I’m kinky ladygarden lion-king and I’m an alcoholic. Not really, well, probably but I don’t really attend meetings. You may know me by my maiden name kinky ladygarden bumbershoot.

  72. Kinky Ladygarden Hero. *win*

    My wife is Twitter-pated Vodka-soaked Hero.
    And she’s from Russia, so that seems apt.

  73. Sassy Angry Heroine.
    My so-called porn name is Spicy Vernon. You take the name of your first pet and then the name of a street you grew up on or lived on. Works unless you live on any other numbered street except for 69th St.

  74. Does anyone have the initials KKO? Kinky Killer Orgasm? Intimidating, no? This is a riot, I should have started baking an hour ago. I stopped by to check if there was a new missive from The Bloggess while the oven was preheating. I’ve promised cranberry nut muffins. Are you still accepting blame, Jenny, or am I on my own if I ruin these? Otherwise I’d have to explain to my ultra conservative family why I want to change my name to something with the initials VVV. Cheers, Happy Thanksgivukkah!

  75. Things I NEVER thought I would ever say to my husband : “Do I look like an Admiral Slangwanger to you?”
    (I used my first name, and left out my middle, which I generally go by. Helps with the mystique of it all, ya know)

  76. Admiral Ladygarden Falconpunch

    What amuses me about this is that I get to keep the admiral thing I use all the time anyway!

  77. Delicious Ladygarden Pirate. That makes me sound like an aggressive lesbian. I’m ok with that.

  78. Ha. According to the above list, my last name (which I received upon the occasion of my marriage) is Vixen.
    According to my birth certificate, my maiden name is Fox. Thank you for merging fantasy with reality. ๐Ÿ™‚ (I often wish I’d kept my name when I got married, but it’s all good, cause my new (as of 2 minutes ago when I read the list above) last name is awesomesauce.)

  79. Delicious Ladygarden Cannibal is what I am, but I prefer to think of myself as a Yogurty Spunk-filled Ultra-wang.

  80. Norwegian Ladygarden Raptor, checking in here. lmao. Hmm, I might have to drop the middle name, it’s a bit weird (or is it ironic) for a gay guy to have Ladygarden in his name? Maybe I could be all hipster and go by N.L.Raptor ๐Ÿ˜‰

  81. Good to know that even though I am a pirate I still have an Admiral Ladygarden.

  82. God bless the internet.
    I just hope it wasn’t designed by the douchebags in suits who are actually running the world – into the ground – in an attempt to keep society distracted while our planet burns and collapses under its own weight.

    Nah, that’d make too much sense.
    Time to go back to surfing for whatever strikes my fancy.
    Good work, Jenny.

  83. @Rachel (up at #300): I think your new name would be perfect for a job @ Lululemon (maker of the see-through yoga-pants)!!!!

  84. I’m sorry, but I think your generator is broken. My name is Mellifluous Manicorn Cannibal, but I don’t understand how I can be a manicorn cannibal if I’m a female. Unless the “man” in manicorn is used in the same genderless context as human, in which case I guess I can only eat perfect people, which would at least make sense. Except that, considering the number of perfect people I’ve met, I’m going to be freaking STARVING. I don’t know whether to thank you for giving me the figure I’ve always wanted or hate you for killing me via the Manicorn Diet. Are you even a licensed nutritionist?

    It’s also entirely possible that your generator is fine and the problem is me. I would go with the first hypothesis though, because it keeps you squarely off my dinner menu.

  85. Lurid Jittery Vixen. I dress like those scary dancers in Seal’s “Crazy” video and my super-power is steaming hot espresso that shoots out of my jubblies.

    Thank you for the distraction.

  86. Ridonkulous Killer Bumbershoot. I think I’d rather be Kinky Manicorn Jesus though. It sounds more like more ofan adventure

  87. Sassy Nymphomaniac Heroine here — and WOW!! Do I ever like it! You can call me Sassy. Just call me often ;-^

  88. I think history will look back on me as the classic example of a Lurid Post-modern Heroine.

  89. I think history will look back on me as the classic example of a Lurid Post-modern Heroine.

  90. i am nillionaire intoxicated bootylicious. i happen to actually be all three of those things. and i challenge you to prove i’m no nillionaireโ€ฆ. ๐Ÿ™‚

  91. Epic Manicorn I-See-What-You-Did-There.

    So much better than Princess Consuela Banana-hammock.

  92. Kinky Cannibal was good enough for me, but when you add my middle name:
    Kinky LadyGarden Cannibal
    For the win!
    My daughter, Epic LadyGarden Cannibal , thanks you too!

  93. Twitterpated LadyGarden UltraWang? I am apparently either a hermaphrodite in love or I’m very confused about my sexual identity. Either way, WIN.

  94. Erm. I’m not sure how to pronounce mine, but I’m printing this post out and bringing it to the DMV for my custom license plates:

  95. Lurid Ladygarden Bumbershoot …… Well shit, work are going to have a field-day when I start signing my new name on contracts (and by field day I mean, they’re probably going to send me home due to a suspected stress breakdown).

  96. I’m Vexing Jittery Vixen โ€ฆ it’s totally true. In fact I’m even more vexed and jittery since working that out!

  97. I’m going to start using my husband’s last name so I can be Captain Galactic Titmouse.

  98. Mellifluous Ladygarden Bumbershoot (which I may change to Bumbersnoot, because that is what I first thought it said.). I love it!

  99. Seriously, I don’t think I could make up my own and come up with anything better than
    Kinky Angry Slangwanger

  100. My boyfriend’s is Delicious Jittery Man-crush. i will be sharing that with him

  101. Lurid Jittery Wonderduck… maybe just Wonderduck would be a good superhero name. I could get on board with that… then I could play my superhero as a bit of an anti-hero with a penchant for 80’s fluro clothing and a coke habit. Sounds like a movie – who want to pay me for the script?

  102. Kindky Post-modern I-see-what-you-did-there seems like an inauspecious entrance to this crazy group! Have been lurking for a month! Agony! But I do love Koalas and hosts who just shut up and read from their books!

  103. Epic Jittery Designated-drunk…you know me, you really know me! (Note to self: You are being watched.)

  104. I’m feeling a little Vexing Wheezy Yoga-pants today, I must admit. What I want to be is Quixotic Tantric Falcon-Punch, but I’m just not there yet…

  105. Sassy Cromulent Raptor… sounds more like a description than a name… “That is one sassy, cromulent raptor” Uh-huh.

  106. Hmmm… Meligluous Manicorn Slangwanger. I think I’d like to be Admiral Bawdy Slangwanger though. More authoritative.

    Meligluous Manicorn sounds like a name that’d get me shoved in a school locker with my underwear pulled up around my ears.

  107. Melifluous Hoopty Slangslinger at your service…. I’m going to channel my inner erotica _writer_ with this.
    (What do you mean I got it wrong? First off, she said we could make up our own. Second, my branch of the family got changed at Ellis Island, all right? LMAO.)

    My suggestions for Xavier & the xfriends: X-rated. X-box. Xenophile, and of course, XOXOXOXO.

    And appropos of nothing, i introduced my 7yo to the word ridonkulous just last week, and my husband almost hyperventilated. (His mom’s a Latin teacher. ‘Nuff said.)
    So I’m not going to tell him it’s his new name….this is between you, me, and the internet: Ridonkulous Jittery Slangslinger, Junior.)

    That was fun!

  108. I’ve been doing it wrong. I thought the middle lane was for if you had a middle name, which I don’t so would I just skip the last lane all together or the middle one?

  109. My name is Xanthe and you don’t love me enough to have a Superhero/Supervillain name for me. I feel bad for the Xaviers of this world too. I think you have a secret, hidden hate for Cabbage Patch kids because your parents didn’t get you one the winter of 1983 and that is why you’ve denied the Xaviers of the world a rightful place on your Supers list. The rest of the Xs like Xena and Ximena are just collateral damage. Also, you’ve very obviously a history denialist. Xerxes was real, not just part of a movie made of mostly naked men. That means you must believe in Leonidas, but you have a Super name for that letter. What gives? I demand an explanation.

  110. One of the choices is my actual last name, sort of a buzz kill when trying to come up with a great super hero name!

  111. Kinky Manicorn Argle-bargler….my maiden name would be Kinky Manicorn Jesus

  112. I know it reads Wonderduck, but I’m going to go with what my brain originally saw that word as, because it just fits the rest of the name better: Admiral Nymphomaniac Wonderfuck. The costume would consist of a lot of neon latex and feathers.

  113. I’m Captain Radioactive Jesus. I think I’ll start signing things with my new name.

  114. From this day forward, I will only respond to Kinky Radioactive Orgasm! Bwahahahahahahaha

  115. Kinky Angry Bumbershoot. Did you know a bumbershoot is an umbrella? I had no idea. Does that make my alias really Kinky Angry Umbrella? Because I can see where a kinky umbrella would be angry. It must be my villain alias, because I can’t imagine anything good coming from a Kinky Angry Bumbershoot. Especially because no one probably even knows what a bumbershoot is, so then everyone would be confused, and I’d be angry because no one knew what I was.

  116. Sassy Fo-Shizzle Cannibal……..I was cool up until the end. Not so OK with people munching on each other. Unless it’s in an affectionate nibble sort of way.

  117. bootylicious detachable falcon punch.

    I am weeks late, which is typical. also? It’s long enough for me to think it’s hysterical again. Is… is this like when things that were lame suddenly become awesome again because of nostalgia? Or is it too soon for that?

    with my luck, I’m stuck in a too-late/ too-soon limbo. It’s okay. I live here. all life long.


  118. According to this my Mother is a Kinky Killer Pirate and my father is a Bootylicious Angry Pirate.
    … My father does not have an ass. I am so amused by the mental image these names provide.

  119. HA!! Mine is actually Captain Detachable Eargasm!!! Love it! and who doesnt love an eargasm that you can loan out to your friends on a rainy day ๐Ÿ™‚

  120. Epic Emo Raptor. I AM SO EPIC BECAUSE I’M A RAPTOR! But I’m going to go plaster my eyes in black eyeliner and mascara and act all mopey to get attention from the other raptors because they don’t love me.

  121. Wow thanks. My name actually does start with an X. Seriously? That’s just not fair. My whole life I could never find my name on a key chains or a water bottles!! And now this. Absolute rejection.

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