Accidentally doing good things.

You know how every year we do some sort of fundraiser for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa in hopes of getting my taxidermied boar head canonized by the Pope?  Well, I was just thinking that now that we have a new, slightly-less-creepy Pope, James Garfield might finally have a chance at sainthood.  But then I started looking at Hanukkah and turns out it ends day after tomorrow.  I yelled at several Jewish friends for not letting me know this earlier and they apologized, saying “Um…we’re busy with Hanukkah, bitch.  Maybe get a fucking calendar.”  And one of them said something in Yiddish that I think translates to “YOU SHOULD LAUGH WITH LIZARDS“, which is an actual real insult and makes me want to take Yiddish classes.

Regardless, if you’ve been here long enough you probably know all about (or were a part of) The Many Miracle(s) of James Garfield.  The first came in 2010 when we all accidentally came together to raise over $42k to help get presents for kids who would not have otherwise gotten any.  It was awesome, and the next year tons of people who were helped in the past asked if we could do it again because now they were back on their feet and wanted to pass on the gift they’d received, but I couldn’t do it because I was so exhausted from running it that I got really sick.  Sorry.  I’m too shitty to be successfully philanthropic.  So instead, in 2011 we decided to help Project Night Nighta program that donates over 25,000 free packages to homeless children (containing  a new security blanket, a book, a stuffed animal and a tote bag) every year.  With our help they were able to donate the 750 packages they needed to hit all of the kids on their December list.  And in 2012 we donated a shitload of oxen to India (which seems weird, but awesome) and helped Project Night Night hit their goal of getting packages to 1,427 children affected by Hurricanes.

This year we’re going to switch it up and give 1,427 oxen to small children.  Or maybe we’ll just do what we did last year again. Because homeless kids being trampled by oxen seems slightly less festive.

It’s crazy simple to donate.  An entire package for Project Night Night only costs $20.  Plus, you can donate packages as presents in the name of all the people that you don’t want to send real gifts too.  Or you can donate bees in the name of people you don’t like.  For real.  It’s probably the worst present ever.  “For Christmas I bought you a big bag of angry bees.  Happy holidays, asshole.”  Except the bees go to needy people who’ll actual use them for pollination and honey and stuff.  But you could probably put one live bee in the “I donated in your name” envelope if you wanted to.  Or just put poison on the card.  Whatever.  I’m not here to judge you.

Want to donate?  Of course you do.  Just click here and you can donate directly to Project Night Night or here to donate to Heifer.  I’m starting it off by donating a llama in your name.  Yes, you.  I also bought 20 Project Night Night bags in your name in case you can’t afford to donate this year.

PS.  Don’t sweat it if you can’t afford to donate this year.  You can always share the Project Night Night page online or with friends to help spread the word.  Every little bit counts.

PPS.  I’m ccing the Pope on this one.  I’m pretty sure he needs to know about this shit.

James Garfield cannot tell a lie. He's like George Washington, but with his original teeth.

Happy holidays, you guys.  Thank you for being awesome.  You are worth ALL the llamas.

PPPS.  I have a ton of James Garfield holiday cards in my desk.  I’ll pick a bunch of people to randomly send them to in the comments.  Just leave a comment letting me know something nice you’re doing for someone else, if you can.

PPPPS.  Just a small update:  The Project Night Night folks emailed to tell me they received over $12,700 in donations in just the first day this post was up and donations are still flowing in.  They wanted to say thank you and so do I.  I don’t say it enough…I so adore you people.  Thank you for letting me be part of this amazing community.

PPPPPS. Just got an email from the very surprised Heifer people, who said to say thanks and that “the spike in numbers from your website was really impressive to the tune of more than 1K visitors and over $4K worth of bees!”  BEST ANGRY BEE CHRISTMAS EVER!

665 thoughts on “Accidentally doing good things.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I would totally take a big bag of angry bees. My mother-in-law ordered my four-year-old a bucket of 15,000 ladybugs from Amazon for her birthday last year (it’s totally a real thing) and I could get her back.

  2. Sending a poisoned card through the mail is a federal offense punishable by fine and/or imprisonment. I’m sending bees just to be safe.

    Cheers to philanthropy 🙂

  3. I can see llamas from my house.

    That’s all. I just felt like people here might understand exactly how rad that is.

    P.S. I just named one of them Jenny.

    P.P.S. I plan to eat the llamas when the zombie apocalypse arrives.

    P.P.P.S. But I’ll save Jenny as long as possible.

    P.P.P.P.S. OR I’ll eat Jenny first to spare her the horrors of the zombie apocalypse and watching all her friends be murdered for food.

  4. I love you, Jenny. I want to be just like you when I grow up. I’ve got the depression and neurotic anxiety down pat. I need to work on the bitter sarcasm masking the glowing wonderful that emanates from your orifices. Like glitter mist out your nostrils. I’m going to stop now. Let’s just look around the room awkwardly now.

  5. I think that the llamas are perfect. I recently found this video, which does for llamas what Charlie did for unicorns:

    You’re welcome.

  6. This will be my third year getting my dad a “pig” for Christmas. He writes the meat ad for Kroger so it’s really kinda neat. I love this time of year! I will be helping with the Night Night organization this year too. Thanks for the link!

  7. Love this. And I love Heifer International. For my 40th birthday, I asked people to donate to Heifer instead of buying me gifts I didn’t really need. I want good things to happen to people who need them most.

  8. James Garfield should be a saint. Get on that Pope Francis.

    Our office does a toy drive every year for local underpriviledged children. The best part is dropping off the donations and seeing all the volunteers working so hard, and how happy they are to be helping.

  9. Love Heifer.org! I get my nephew a share of a llama or some bunnies every year for his birthday, he loves it. On another blog some people got all huffy about it, thinking that the animals are all killed for food. Feh.

    (Obviously they’ve never tried to eat a llama. ~ Jenny)

  10. I sent some bees. And yet, it seems so wrong. I would not want someone to send me bees. But if they think it will be good… who am I to question.

  11. Can you donate bees to small children? A good way to find out if they’re allergic, right? “Oh, I see your head is swelling up so bad that your nose is pushed inside your cheeks… well now you know to avoid bees in the future, right? You should also probably avoid opening any future letters from Jenny Lawson.”

  12. Thank you for the llama! And thank you for all your accidental goodness.

    I hope I am quietly, privately (from my hermitude) doing what good I can.

  13. I donated during the frenzy of 2010 and I have to say, it was the best Christmas EVER for us, just knowing that we helped out. So now, my three youngins love to hit up the giving trees at our local mall and pass it forward to those less fortunate. Thanks Jenny, you not only inspired me, you also inspired the next generation.

  14. YOU are a rockstar. Donated to Project Night Night, and planning to give EVERYONE bees. I love bees.

  15. I am sharing the Night Night Project link, for my friends. And hopefully will have enough to do one myself!

  16. My mom is the worst person to shop for. She’s getting a cow and sending a kid some great dreams. Merry f*cking Christmas!

    That will teach her to stop buying ALL THE THINGS throughout the year she wants 😉

  17. Not giving a virtual bitchslap to a relative is about as nice as I’m getting right now… somehow I think that it doesn’t qualify me for a card though.

    I love that you do this and hope that I can afford to give another sheep this year.

  18. This year my 6 year old was counting the money in his piggy bank (6 years worth of loose change more or less) and when he was done he asked me what he could do with it. I told him it was his and he could do what he wanted. He got thoughtful and then got all excited and asked if he could take an extra tag off the giving tree at church this year and use his own money for it. Well it turned out that since we were slackers and went to the late Mass on Sunday there were only a handful of tags left on the tree, so the kid was super sad because we didn’t even manage to get our one tag per family member we normally try to do. So I think I’ll ask him if he’d like to donate to project Night Night instead I think that will make him a happy little kiddo again.

  19. You can donate a camel! A camel! I’m a little fasicerrIfied by camels (that means I’m both fascinated and terrified by them). If I was wealthy, I would donate all the camels!

  20. My kids and I are donating their outgrown and gently used toys and books this year to share with people who don’t have them. We will also be purchasing a few to donate, as well. They’re 3 and 2 and I”m hoping to start a giving tradition with them.

  21. I am getting several children off the angle tree at our local store. Also instead of getting birthday /christmas presents (Christmas babies represent) I asked my friends and family to donate to my favorite charities.

  22. I will continue my efforts to get some space heaters, (hand/fin) warmers, blankets and tiny apartment buildings for the Emperor Penguins so film makers stop filming them freezing to death in the Arctic. That ain’t cool. Teach them to make some motherfucking fire, people!

  23. We will definitely donate to Project Night Night. We also donate to charity: water. And this year we donated our pre lit Christmas tree and old ornaments to a family with a 4 year old and a 6 year old who had never, ever had a Christmas tree. Which, when I heard about it, almost broke my heart! We also bought a second Christmas tree for a family that needs one.

    I love this time of year because it always gets me in the spirit when I can help other people 🙂 Better than getting some useless item that will just sit around gathering dust!

  24. Love it! Heifer international is one of my favorite charities. I’m gonna split mine this year between you and Patrick Rothfuss’ Worldbuildiers charity, which also does great things for Heifers…or Heifer Int. Oh you know what I mean!

  25. I exploded my son’s room to find all of the toys that he no longer plays with, cleaned them, reassembled them, replaced their batteries, and sent them to a local church that donates them to a local trailer park where kids normally wouldn’t have a nice Christmas. I’ve always been a control freak about keeping all of my kids’ toys intact (tiny pieces and all), so I was able to donate 12 really nice things. After that, I had to reassemble my son’s room. It still looks pretty tacky.

  26. I cleaned my grandmothers place 🙂 and I am sending the lady bugs that a commenter mentioned to my ex

  27. I want a James Garfield card so badly, so I came down here to the comments section to tell you about something nice I’m doing for others this season. Turns out, I’m not doing anything nice for others. Between raising the kiddo and battling my depression/food addiction, my life has become completely self-centered.

    Thank you so much for this post. Now that I am out of the worst of my issues, it’s time to start giving back to those who are still battling their own issues, whatever they may be. I really needed that reminder, and I can’t tell you how appreciative I am that I got it before all the holidays are over. I missed out on Thanksgiving and Hanukkah, but there’s still Christmas, New Years, Boxing Day, and Kwanza!

  28. I lost my job a few months ago and so money is very tight right now, otherwise I would totally donate. My good dead for this Christmas is going to be that I’m not going to send any voodoo curses out this year. I do love http://www.pinstruck.com/ but I’m not even going to curse the people who fired me. Now that is motherfucking festive. I would dearly love a James Garfield card to go with my festiveness.

  29. This year I supported both my parents through cancer, month long stays in the hospital, brain abnormalities, dehydration, and almost bleeding out after biopsies. And I haven’t killed either of them yet. If you knew them you’d think I was a goddamn saint. A card from you would make my YEAR!

  30. I left my husband then I forgave him and went back home. That’s nice, right? But really…Awesome fundraiser. Thanks for using your power for good instead of eve-ill. 🙂 Kids shouldn’t be homeless. That’s terrible.

  31. Thanks for lifting my spirits, nice to know people are doing nice stuff for others, is James giving out blessings?

  32. Probably won’t be able to donate money this year.
    I have, however been donating my time helping some friends find resources to help them through their everyday lives, as well as the holiday season. It is difficult to get assistance in many areas, because SO many people need help.

  33. I think it’s awesome what you have been able to do for Project Night Night! I work with a group called HANK, Helping Abused and Neglected Kids, a program that gives every child who enters the foster care system in Hondo, Kerrville, Uvalde (and several other towns) in Texas, a set of bedding and a handmade quilt, because when you enter foster care, you leave with the clothes on your back and nothing else, and sometimes foster families make the kids leave blankets, toys, and pillows, for their next foster kid. With the younger ones, they give them a stuffed animal, along with their bedding, and the older ones get text books and sporting equipment if they played. I am a crazy quilter, I just started last January, and managed to get them 6 quilts, and 30 pillowcases made by my Cub Scout boys.

  34. The family decided not to give each other gifts this year because we are sick of storing stuff. I’ll pass this around to them so we have an alternative that helps people who would LOVE to have the problem of storing stuff.

    Thanks for the reminder and the links Jenny. You’re a good egg.

  35. I don’t know if this would be categorized as selfish or unselfish, but two years ago I decided to sell everything and move to Europe to live in France for a while, following a dream, and this seems to be a point of inspiration to some people who know me and what I’m doing, whether they decide to completely change their lives or not. So me having a good time living abroad is, I am deciding as of this moment, a philanthropic endeavor. Therefore it counts as doing nice things for other people.

    Also noted: the fact that you commented favorably on a random post featuring homemade pizza on my blog several years ago remains one of the highlights of my internet life. Merry happy 2014.

  36. I know this “GivingTuesday” thing is made up and all, but I do love that you do this every year. And if Pope Francis can totally sneak out of his house in the middle of the night to give out money to poor people, it just goes to show there’s hope for all of us.

  37. These all sound like wonderful ideas.I’m going to spend my last bit of money on Project Night Night. ;0) I’ll be sure to fb/tweet this out to try to get my friends and family to donate too. Thanks for sharing this with everyone-you’re a saint all on your own!

  38. I gave some goods to the local food bank at the supermarket last week, cause I want to support my local community here in the UK.

  39. I’m getting bees for Christmas this year. For real. They’re not for disadvantaged children, though, they’re for my backyard. And I don’t get to actually have them till March. So far the only nice thing I’ve done for the holidays is not murder anyone. It doesn’t sound like much, but if you knew my friends and family you’d want to give me a cookie.

  40. I drink coffee so that the people around me don’t have to die, and so that I don’t have to become intimately acquainted with the prison system of whatever state I’d finally be tracked down in.
    That probably doesn’t count as doing something nice, but it is what I’ve got.

  41. I bring dinner daily to my elderly neighbor despite her telling me, “your children are satan’s soldiers,” and “your soul is dead like that tree in your yard.” Truthfully, bring her food because of the insults. She’s one creative old bitch. I’m totally saving them up for the day I turn old and wrinkly and can say whatever the fuck I want. I’d LOVE to send her a bag of bees with a little not that says, “don’t insult my tree, bitch!”

  42. I am knitting a hat for a friend of my son in grad school. He is from Somalia and Seattle, both of which are much warmer than Ann Arbor. (My husband and two sons are way too warm-blooded to ever need handknits, more’s the pity.)

  43. We have a backpack program at my high school for our homeless students who won’t have anything to eat outside of school. We put together easy-to-fix meals that carry them through the weekends and holidays so they have food in their bellies. We’re also collecting clothing, canned goods for our local food pantries, and newspaper and blankets for a local animal shelter. Somehow, being a part of all this with my students warms my blackened and shriveled little heart.

  44. A wonderful idea.
    I think I will go donate a box and send the donation-thankyou to my mother. She knitted preemie hats for the hospital NICU for decades until arthritis kicked in. I’m fumble-fingered so have only managed one hat so far and I think this would make her smile.

    Rescue organizations also will get what help we can send, because Mother Earth has been one mean mother in 2013. (From Oklahoma and Illinois to the Phillipines and beyond…would you believe tornados in Italy&France this year?)

  45. I’m hosting the Christmas party for those who don’t have anyone to spend the holidays with – people who’s families live too far, or who don’t have any family left, etc. No one should be alone during the holidays.

  46. I donated to Heifer a couple years ago on behalf of an exboyfriend (we had a running joke about a goat… don’t ask) and I’m STILL getting snail mail solicitations from them!! I don’t think he (the ex) really “got it” but I thought it was HI-LAR-IOUS!!!

  47. This will be the first year we will not be able to give to others as much as I would like. My husband lost his job on Nov. 1st and I still have to find a way to make sure Santa visits our kids. I also had to stop taking my meds because we can’t afford it anymore and oh my word that has sucked big time. No more sleep and no more help with anxiety. I keep reminding myself though that we are still doing better than many others. Because of that I will at least donate as much as I can to our local food bank and I will share your pages to try to get others to help and donate to those causes. Coming to your page brings at least one smile to my face everyday so thank you for that.

  48. Thanks for the llama, Jenny!

    I shall visit Project Night Night. Meanwhile, today at work, I’m waving over-enthusiastically at everyone I see in the halls. They either laugh or wave back like a maniac. It’s the little things.

  49. We adopted 22 teenagers this year…..not really adopted, that would be crazy because we live in a two bedroom condo. And who wants 22 teenagers around at once? Anyway we are buying them all Christmas gifts since no one else wanted them.
    And we bought a cow. Again not for the condo, but for a family in Ethiopia.
    Merry Christmas, and thanks for all you do!

  50. Omg..please…I would actually hang my Christmas cards if this one arrived! lol

    You are a thoughtful and kind person..using your powers for good! As always, a fab post.

  51. What I’m doing for other people this year is staying home as much as possible. I’m reducing gridlock, eliminating air pollution, and preventing myself from slowing down some really important person who wants to buy useless gifts for their really important friends at Wal-Mart.

    Recognizing that the holidays are naughty and send my depression/anxiety into hyperdrive is the greatest gift of all. I can’t afford therapy, even with health insurance, so hibernation is the most logical alternative.

    You’re welcome.

  52. Some of these comments are *almost* as good as this post. Almost. It is absolutely fabulous what you are doing. Thanks for the llama, it was tasty. My one thing I do is volunteer for CASA. Go look it up, people. It is a great cause. Plus, it will be the only time I sit in a courtroom and not be judged. Happy Holimas! That’s my new word which my computer is underlining. It’s a word!

  53. I love you- really a lot.
    To make it less creepy, my wife loves you, too..
    Wait- did I just make it more skeezy?
    Um.
    My dog flips out when I giggle reading your blog.
    How about that?

  54. The “anonymous coward” moniker is necessary so that in the event that any of my work people somehow reads this, they won’t know I’m talking about them. But my holiday efforts this year include trying to ensure that I don’t have to lay off any staff in January. Even though, really, nothing says holiday goodness like “Congrats! You’ve been a great employee, but your position has been eliminated and you’re the one that we’re turning out into the literal freezing cold,” I have managed to engineer a solution where no one needs to freeze to death in a refrigerator box. So yeah, I’m feeling pretty smug and deserving of awesome holiday cards to showcase my efforts. I’ll even paste it on my office door.

  55. We donate to the local food pantry and created a relief pack that our church sends to help disaster relief around the world.
    I was a part of the original James Garfield miracle and it was one of my favorite donations! Keep doing what you do!

  56. This year instead of getting gifts I convinced my family to donate to Fisher House. It’s like Ronald McDonald House but for military members and their families. My son and I had to stay there for 6 weeks this year due to a growth on his leg. Of it weren’t for them my husband and I would be in a massive amount of debt. So this year the Christmas funds are going to them so they can continue to help our service members and their families during times of medical need.

  57. I am making all of our Christmas gifts this year. Doing that will help me be able to donate. Although I haven’t figured out where yet so maybe I’ll go with oxen or something. Thanks for the inspiration to be better.

  58. As I have for the last eight years, I am buying gifts for two seniors at a state run retirement home. My work does this every year. The seniors there have no one and my work will make sure that every person in the home has gifts. We also collect all types of personal grooming aids, little treats such as cookies and candies, DVD’s, books, magazines, etc. All of the seniors ask for such simple items, mostly clothing, and maybe one personal luxury item like lip stick or a hair dryer. It makes me feel so good and so sad at the same time. Bless you for all that you do and thank you for the llama and links.

  59. Now that my kids have learned the value of a dollar, they’re much happier getting dollars as presents. Now I only have to track down one thing for any gift-giving occasion for them.

    Because all my meager supply of dollars goes to my kids, we donate to others by volunteering at the Super Feast. You get to help others, and you also get a free meal. Win / Win!

  60. Awesome! I started giving to Heifer for Christmas a few years ago rather than giving a bunch of crap to people they really don’t need. Bunnies, pigs, chicks, etc., much more useful. This year I’m buying pigs, because, bacon. I think the developing world could use more of that. Love what you do, and what you right!

  61. I got to be the very first to add a gift for a little girl from the gifting tree at our local postal center to the collection box 🙂 Will definitely share this post too 🙂 (And, if donations are still happening when I get my first paycheck from my new job (2 wks 🙂 ), I’m in!

  62. My favorite things about Christmas are Skyping with my kids on Christmas morning and taking screenshots to blackmail them with later, and giving to various people/charities (including Project Night Night). This year I’m also going to help my nephew buy beds for his kids so they don’t have to sleep on the floor when they’re at his place. It feels kind of braggy to type that out, but I think when people talk about giving, it inspires others to give more. You’ve definitely inspired me to give! Merry Chrishanukkwanzaa!

  63. I will be getting pregnant in about two weeks to help another family realize their dream of having kids. ( gestational surrogate) does that count??? ( shamelessly using my surrogacy in the hopes of getting a postcard from Jenny. Worth it)

  64. Did you know if you like someone you can buy bunnies for a family in someone else’s name at Heifer. I know this because I bought bunnies and ducks for some family last Christmas. I think bunnies will balance out the bees and llamas (they make for really bad house guests, even worse than pesky in-laws). Thanks for the giving reminder about Project Night Night too.

    Hope no one mails you any angry bees.

  65. I’m helping running a toy/gift card drive for local tornado victims. And since we seem to be having way to many people doing just that in our area (I mean really what kind of awesome problem is that to have!) I’m am also doing a monetary drive for the local kids served by Department of Children and Family Services. So many people are focusing on disaster relief they seem to be forgetting the kids who always need help every year, so trying to take care of them to so they don’t get left out. Almost forgot a one day food drive in 2 weeks for the local food pantry (give to your local food pantry they are all hurting with SNAP cuts).
    I don’t need a card, or a pat on the back. I need people who have the means, and I certainly understand not everyone does, to donate a toy, gift card, or some non-perishables (especially protein they never have enough) to one of these types of drives. We can all make a difference if we try!

  66. My favorite things about Christmas are Skyping with my kids on Christmas morning and taking screenshots to blackmail them with later, and giving to various people/charities. This year I’m also going to help my nephew buy beds for his kids so they don’t have to sleep on the floor when they’re at his place. It sounds kind of braggy to type that out, but I think when people talk about giving, it inspires others to give more. You’ve definitely inspired me! Merry Chrishanukkwanzaa!

  67. Thanks so much for the llama! I’ll definitely be donating to Heifer, as I love the factuality that an entire family can be helped by literally one goat – just amazing. Happy Christmas, Happy Kwanza, and Happy Belated Hanukkah!

  68. I would like a card for a friend of mine. Last week we lost our home in a fire. My friend Stacey organized fundraising to help us and rounded up online friends and strangers to get the word out. She’s helped me keep my sanity through all this. She’s a big fan of yours and introduce d me to your work, and she deserves a card.

  69. Today I left exact change in the vending machine for a candy bar. I figure aim paying it forward in a small way. It’s the little things, right. Like live bees!

  70. so many unopened toys stuffed in the closets… HELLO Toys for TOTS! Good stuff you’re doing over here… all in the name of ‘stuffed’ animals. 🙂

  71. SO COOL, Jenny! You even make philanthropy deliciously, hilariously twisted.

    And I would be happy to give you Yiddish lessons. My grandmother (who I actually heard say “Fuck” once, on purpose – her accent made lots of words SOUND like “fuck”- and it is one of my bestest memories EVER) used to have a mile long curse that translates to “May he be infested with pubic lice and cursed with arms too short to scratch”. We are a dignified people. 🙂

    Happy Holidays!!

  72. I LOVE James Garfield cards. I drove 5 hours to adopt homeless ferrets for my kids for x-mas, and I can’t wait to send angry bees to my mother’s best friend, she’s obsessed with bee epidemics in the world. I also plan to buy presents for kids in foster care. I like thinking about and doing good things more than talking about them, so please send me James Garfield cards, or at least make them available to buy in the store. Thanks

  73. Almost forgot; my department (5 people) are also adopting a family for Christmas. This is a big effort put together mainly by one of our local broadcast stations.

  74. My sister and I go to the teen shelter at Jonathon’s place and spend the day color, cutting and styling their hair. It has been the first professional haircut for many of them. Blessings to you the bloggess!

  75. Last year was so terrible for us – my boss had just closed her business and I had zero dollars…couldn’t even buy my own kids any gifts. I figured keeping the heat on and the roof over our heads would have to be gift enough. This year is a teeny bit better, and I’d much rather squeeze out $20 to donate to this cause instead of buying half an outfit for a 6month old neice who won’t even know the difference. Plus also, my sister’s kids are way too spoiled anyways. Thanks Jenny – you make it easier for us to do the right thing. 🙂 ?

  76. I got a new vehicle this past fall and heard a cousin of mine, who is a single mom, needed a car to get around for work so I gave her my old car free of charge. It saved my other cousin from taking a loan out to help her sister ( first cousin mentioned) get a car so I pretty much killed two birds with one good deed.

    I’d like to say I gave her a kick ass car but it was an Aztek. So I’m not sure if this really counts as a good deed or a horrible joke disguised as one. Either way she was super happy to have wheels again.

  77. Our family always picks an Angel Tree child to help. This year, we got a little boy who loves trains. And because my nephew also loves trains, we might have gone a little overboard. Choo-choo, motherfucker.

    And for mom’s birthday Dec. 31, I’m giving her a card from the Arbor Day foundation telling her a tree has been planted in her name… aaaand I’ve just realized the card was made from dead trees, so that probably defeats the purpose….

  78. Even though my husband was being a total asshole this morning, I went ahead and ordered him a new phone for Christmas. That’s nice, right?
    I plan on donating to the project on Friday 🙂

  79. I have given to Heifer for years, I love the idea of helping and them paying it forward. Great charity. I am giving to Meals on Wheels since their funding has been cut so badly. I know my beloved grandpa who passed away this year looked forward to his daily visit from them. I’ll also buy a Project Night bag. Thanks for doing this Jenny!

  80. I cooked for 18 hours this year, raising funds for Random Acts, the charity funded by Supernatural actor Misha Collins.

    I live for James Garfield in festive attire.

  81. I suck at being nice to people. I read about great charities doing great things, and then I read about other great stuff, and I’m already spending insane money this season and all I can do is just hide under my bed.

    Still.

    I’ve given animals through Heifer before. My gramma at least loves it. And I’ve been looking for a new charity that helps poor kids, in an effort to prevent poor adults. Project Night Night sounds awesome, and there’s also a local group that helps foster kids transition as they age out. Time to get on that one…

  82. My oldest (eldest? shit, let’s just go with first-born) daughter is going to Dominica in January with other students from her college so I literally just cleaned out my youngest daughter’s shoe collection to send to the kids there. Some of the shoes still had tags on them which was embarrassing but what can I say, Tessie Toodles is the Imelda Marcos of her generation and bonus, since she is in a wheelchair, the shoes never get dirty. It’s a win-win really.

  83. I’m getting my boyfriend fancy-pants yoga shorts for Christmas, because apparently if you’re a guy your junk gets all caught up in regular shorts while doing yoga. So you need special yoga shorts with a junk pouch or something. That’s my nice thing I’m doing.

  84. Well the Pope better have his special saint-making trousers on, because I reckon I’m practically there. Clearing out my bookshelves I figured I couldn’t be arsed to type all their ISBNs in to Amazon to see what they’d fetch second hand, so I gave them to a local charity shop. Today I got a really lovely hand-written letter saying they’d already sold have of them and raised over £450 for a heart charity.

    So can I be a saint please – even if I was at the end of the day just being bloody lazy?

  85. I’m buying a ham for the homeless. Well technically for a womans shelter for Christmas dinner.

  86. I need more animals who are stuffed. It is so much easier to decorate them than it is my cat. She refuses to wear the hat, but she is in love with the vest. I can’t get her out of it.

    Then I am reminded of Scrooged.
    Props man: I can’t get the antlers glued to this little guy. We tried Crazy Glue, but it don’t work. Frank Cross: Did you try staples?

    Sharing your cause on my fb today. 🙂 Yay doing good things.

    *Just don’t use staples.

  87. I have an 11 year old niece. Her bff has 2 siblings and lives with her single mom. Mom works hard but doesn’t make much money. The bff goes over to my sister’s house and is in awe of how much food is available to eat. So this year- I am going to buy presents for bff and sibs/mom and pick up some groceries for them. I don’t know where they live, so I am making my sister drop it off (anonymously) when the mom is at work.

    My sister is the only one who knows about this-and I don’t plan on telling anyone else, but I’ll tell you guys because none of you know me in real life.

    (Also, I am a single mom with one child; I don’t have a lot but I don’t have to worry about having enough food for my kid to eat.)

  88. I am so worn out this year all I can think of for doing something nice is not strangling the teachers at my son’s middle school who cannot understand the meaning of “504-required accommodations” for someone with a new, severe and now chronic health issue who missed a month of school and continues to have daily bouts of moderate to severe pain, and think it means “we’ll give you until next week to make up all of that work and plus you have to do all the new work we are assigning oh BTW there is no textbook it’s all stuff we discussed in class good luck.” MAYBE. Of course, if I donate to your projects I don’t have to stick with this something nice, right?

  89. Paying to fly my daughter’s friend’s dog from western state to Ky because her parents lost their apartment and her dad took her dog to the animal shelter without telling her.

  90. This year I’m making an advent-calendar like box for my best friend and her sister that lost their mom this summer to Pancreatic Cancer. They always celebrated the full moon, so I’ve bought a box and I’m going to put 12 personal gifts in each of them.. So they each have something to look forward to on the night of the full moon to open and won’t just be missing their amazing mom.

    Thank you again for all that you do for kids, bees, and everyone else. 🙂

  91. Every year my mother gets together with her work and sponsors a Santa for seniors, where they buy things for elderly. She used to adopt children for the holidays who were in foster care, and buy them bunches of things they wanted and needed. We usually adopt soldiers for thanksgiving, this year we were unable to. And we always donate whatever extra we have to several local organizations.
    I will be donating to this cause on Friday when i have the funds..

  92. Heifer is wonderful, we’ve been giving bees (and pigs, and llamas and trees) for 3 or 4 years now. We try to match the donation to the person 😉

  93. I once saw a giant pink llama in a Safeway parking lot. It turned out my medication needed tweaking.

  94. We’re sending a ton of stuff to Operation Ward 57 which supports wounded warriors, their families and care givers by providing items that assist in recovery, maintenance & morale in Walter Reed Army Medical Center. They are wanting small home goods for the holidays for those who can’t spend the holidays with their families back home because they are stuck in the hospital. You can also adopt a wounded warrior and his family to help them with the holidays. They are doing a lot of good for the families at Walter Reed and we’re proud to be helping those that sacrifice themselves for our freedom. http://www.operationward57.org/

  95. Count another one for Night Night. Having a spawnling of my own, I can’t even imagine him not having a blanket or cuddle monster. *scary*

    Thanks for using your voice for amazing things!

  96. I’m too cheap/broke to donate money, but I’ve been volunteering with Girls on The Run, an awesome organization that teaches girls in grades 3-8 about self esteem, body image, bullying, nutrition, and excercise. That’s right. My time is *precious*. You’re welcome, world.

  97. I can’t afford to donate, but I have been volunteering at various safe nights around my city, and creating a few special clay turtles for the children in the program. I would love one of those cards but I think it could bring a smile to someone in need of one, rather than someone as fortunate as I am.

  98. Thanks for the llama! It amazes me how you always get the right size! I would love to receive a James Garfield Christmas card. Being that we are very very broke until February, I will share this post and ask people to donate. You are my Holiday Miracle, Jen!

  99. My honey and I bought little girl beds and dolls for a family who we found through Blue Santa. It was so amazing, we picked another family and got to buy a ton of toy dinosaurs. 🙂

  100. YEAH BABY! WHO JUST BOUGHT SOME BEES? BOOM! That’s right, I did. Happy mf holidays!

    Seriously though…Jenny – you are great. Thank you for mobilizing all these people for good. You, my friend-I’ve-never-met are a MOBILIZER!!! <3

  101. Sadly, I recently lost my job so our donations this year will consist of me getting gently used stuff to tornado victims in Washington, IL. I also have a foster puppy right now that we had to bottle feed, so I’m sure he is appreciative (when he is not peeing on something in the house…).

    Happy Merry Christmahanakwanzika everyone!

  102. My work chooses a charitable organization every year in which all the employees can donate for the Holiday outreach program. This year is a little special because now it’s personal. One of our employees has family that was affected by Typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines. We’re all encouraged to give a little more to help her parents rebuild their home. I can’t wait to help them out!

  103. This is the fourth year of my husband and I running a program to get Christmas presents for senior citizens who otherwise wouldn’t get one (for example if they have no family, are underpriviledged or have no family near them to help. Seniors are often a forgotten group at Christmas but their eyes light up just as brightly as a child’s when they open their Christmas presents and realize someone has thought of them. Check out your local Be A Santa for a Senior program, or, if one isn’t available in your area, think about doing what we did and start one up on your own by contacting local senior’s homes. Happy holidays! Thank you Jenny for making all our holidays brighter.

  104. I’ll be donating to Project Night Night and might donate bees instead of gifts- because I know how awesome bees are and am officially addicted to the honey from our hives! The bee in the envelope is definitely doable since we have some dead ones lying around. (They’re dead from natural causes, duh we don’t kill our own bees!)

  105. Thanks for the link. I’ll donate and pass along. This year I purchased gifts for 5 local kids in foster care. I hope they enjoy Christmas morning as much as I did as a kid.

    ps. i totally want a llama. in pajamas.

  106. I donated to Project Night Night last year in my Dad’s name. He passed away in Jan of 2012 and was an advocate of education. When he was still physically able, he would go to the schools in my home town and read with kids in some of the less affluent schools. He would bribe them with shiny coins 🙂

    I also remember one time when he was in his early 70s when he almost tangled with a parent. The parents had to sign for library cards and one young boy had a parent who wouldn’t sign because he didn’t want to accept any financial responsibility if the book was lost. The father used some colorful language to describe his ‘unresponsible son’. My dad said ‘Give me the GodDamnSonOfaBitch form (yes, that always one word as I grew up) I will sign the thing because EVERY GUY SHOULD HAVE A LIBRARY CARD’.

    I miss my dad and will continue to donate this year.

    Thank you Jenny

  107. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but during the months of November and December, my husband & I tip our waiters and waitresses really well. We eat out about once or twice a week. We always go to the same 5 or 6 restaraunts, small town, family owned places. They have great young people that work at all of them and we’ve gotten to know a little more about each of them over the past few years. So last year we decided to tip them $20 when we go. (Now they kinds of fight over us.) But we know that every little bit helps. I was a waitress when I was in college and my sister has always worked in restaraunts. So I feel good giving them a bright spot in their work day.

  108. I LOVE Heifer! Great present for so many, especially for those who really have all they need. That way they help others too. And who doesn’t like a bunch of chicks or bunnies? My mother is getting Xmas from Heifer.

    I also buy books through Better World Books because they donate to libraries or literacy projects for EVERY book sold.

  109. Thanks for the reminder to donate! I just used your link to donate to Project Night Night. Hooray for The Bloggess Army! Together we’ll do great things this holiday season.

  110. Thank you for reminding me to get the in-law’s gift ordered. I’m glad the bees are going to a good home (versus the in-laws…if going to them…I would’ve had to request the box be shaken hard before they open them…but then the bees would die and that would just be sad….).

    Love the Heiffer International folks.

  111. I seriously love you and am going to give you first corgi naming rights. I’m giving rabbits from HI to my coworkers instead of Christmas gifts. We work in an international student office, so it’s that or try to find some fair trade shit, which is also awesome, but I’m lazy. So “Merry Festivus, I gave people bunnies for you!” it is this year. And I shall ask that one of them be named James Garfield.

  112. Heifer is an awesome organization. We’ve done that for Christmas before and for funeral memorials-in-lieu-of-flowers for people. And this weekend, we took our eight year old shopping for the kids we picked from the foster care tree’s presents. But maybe, just, maybe (and I say this with love) James Garfield the Boar should stick to Christmas/Kwanzaa and leave Hannukah alone, what with the not being kosher and all. Maybe Juanita could perform a Hannukah miracle. With her apron, I can see her whipping up a tasty batch of mother-fuckin’ latkes for the masses.

  113. I cannot afford to donate this year – sadly – but I did share the info on my FB so that all 600 something of my friends will see it and hopefully someone will send some money. Just to throw in some brownie points in the hopes of receiving one of your awesome cards, I have also been shopping and wrapping gifts for kids with our local police dept for their Blue Santa program. So, even though I am dirt poor right now, I am donating my time. 🙂
    Happy Holidays!

  114. Frakking awesome!
    Our house recently caught on fire (only a winner like me would have it catch fire on..my birthday)
    but i’ve been working on various projects for others – including: donating & volunteering for a veteran’s thanksgiving (fed over 200!); donated over $800 to FIV positive kitties & homeless Detroit doggies; $300 to a homeless woman & her doggies on the street; target bags full of food, dog food & grooming stuff for a homeless guy w his dog i saw rollin’ down the street; plus supporting my kick ass friend who is recently diagnosed w Lou Gehrig’s disease on her quest to kick as much marathon ASS as possible before that shitty disease comes full circle; and helping out our friend with foods since his SNAP got reduced to like $14 a month. (Who can live on $14 a month???) However, I’m super jealous that i didn’t donate BEEEEEES! It’s the gift that keeps on giving! Best passive agressive gift ever!
    Me: Hey buddy, I got you a gift!
    Jerk: Really?
    Me: Yeah! Here! Happy Holidays n’ shit!
    them: ahhhhh! I’m covered in beeeeees.
    Me: Yippee ki yeah mother frakker….
    (and i would dress in full reindeer gear for this & carry my taxidermied duck in a kilt, Jensen Quackles)

  115. Can you imagine teaming up with Amazon to deliver oxen via their new drones? It would never be safe to walk outside again.

  116. Sending some bees out there in the world in memory of my dad, who was an avid gardener (72 tomato plants for 3 people??? Seriously, Daddy, I couldn’t stand even to look at a tomato for years after that summer), and a Night Night package in memory of my mom, who gave the world’s best good night hugs.

    My kiddo’s Cub Scout pack is organizing a coat drive for local charities, and I’m the designated (coat) driver.

  117. Shitload of Oxen might be a good name for a punk rock band.

    Jenny, you inspire me. For the third year in a row, my playgroup adopted a local family without many resources. We shower the kiddos (and the parents) with as much from their Christmas lists as we can. This year, turns out our family is Peruvian (I cannot make this shit up). I pretty much HAVE to give them a llama now. They’ll totally get it. Right?

  118. Donated $10 to the angel tree. 😉 And we may try to pick a family to take dinner to. We’re much better off this year than last, and with all the kindness we got last year, we have to pass it on. 😉 Merry Christmas

  119. My daughter, who is 4 adopted a needy (couldn’t spell under priviliged…see) child and bought a stocking and gifts for her. I was so proud of her and shocked that she understood what she was doing and that it was important. She didn’t even ask to keep any of the gifts, which were pretty cool. I guess I’ve done something right…although I’m still selfish! 🙂

  120. I’m totally donating. But more than that, I want a James Garfield card soooo super duper bad. That’s pretty much entirely why I’m commenting. I’m selfish like that. And pathetic.

  121. Seriously, EVERY year my husband donates bees! I’ve tried talking him into other animals but he refuses. He thinks everyone should donate all the bees. This post cracked me up!

  122. As a grad student, I don’t have much money, but I try to donate to at least one charity every Christmas. This year Project Night Night will be the one. Thanks for spreading the word!

  123. We donated shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child and will donate some new toys to Toys for Tots.

  124. Plus it’s Giving Tuesday!! Excellent timing, Jenny! I will be donating to Heifer Int’l as it has long been one of my favorite charities. Thanks for spreading love!!

  125. I’d never heard of Heifer before (because I’m usually the last person to know about anything), but I just donated to them and Project Night Night.

    Last year, the one Christmas card I sent was one you made where an elf was stabbing a couch. I’ll admit, I had a slight hope of never having to send another card for a while, but as it turned out, they liked it. So this year, I’m going to send a James Garfield card to them even if I don’t win it randomly.

  126. We have dear friends that just can’t seem to get a break. They are both working full time jobs but are getting just barely above minimum wage and can’t get their bills paid. So several families are pooling resources to get presents for their girls as well as helping to pay off some bills and repair their car.

  127. Dear everyone in the comments who said they couldn’t afford to donate: I just donated a chicken to Heifer for each one of you. Thanks for making me believe in Christmas again. Eggs for everyone!

  128. Donated. I couldn’t afford to the last two years so this year I can finally make up for it. A special thanks to everyone who donated to Toys for Tots last year. It helped me give my kids presents. You don’t know how much that meant.

  129. I’ve been using my couponing skills to.get toiletries and donating them to a local hospital hospitality house, as they helped me and my family so much, I wanted to pay it forward. I love what you are doing here.

  130. I have organized our office to Adopt-A-Family this holiday season. We will be finding out this week who our family is and we have already started collecting food and gifts to bring to them in time for Christmas. You are amazing and thank you for the llama!!!

  131. In the year of many miracles I was a recipient of 2 gift cards which I used to help a dear friend give her two kids a christmas. The next year I donated to Project Night Night, I have seen firsthand how losing everything can effect people, not just children. I rarely have the money to spare as we live on less than $30,000 a year, thank you for showing those of us that don’t think we can make a difference, how to do just that. I think this year I might buy bees in the name of friend. It’s a win win though, this friend pissed me off and hurt me so badly that I had a breakdown but he terrified of BEES. I’ll figure out just how to tell him that I bought him bees.

  132. Hubby and I are going to do something from Project Heifer for our Christmas presents to each other this year. We haven’t quite decided on which animal(s), but it’s definitely what we’re going to be doing. I love Project Heifer! My sister gave me ducks last year. 🙂

  133. I’m totally donating a bag of bees in the name of my shithead ex-boyfriend! This is gonna make my whole holiday season! 😀

  134. is it smug to say that i don’t feel right telling you what i’m doing for other people? i feel like what i do for charity is my own private thing.

  135. You’re a truly kick ass person! I’ve been looking for charities to donate to for the holidays and these just made top of my list!!! Thank you….

  136. I got a copy of your book to give to my best and oldest friend. Additionally, I give little care packages to homeless folks in and around Seattle. (Not just for the holiday season… they need it year-round).

    Cheers!
    Jen

  137. Good deeds I’m doing? Well, I’ve passed along your book to a co-worker, I’m working on volunteering through my company for a few holiday events for the homeless, and resisting the urge to spend my rent and food money on christmas presents after having to spend my christmas money on MAJOR car repairs, even though it is depressing that I can’t give gifts this year to anyone, let alone my child. 🙁 But, I have a home, and food, and that’s what matters more than gifts.

  138. I had one of my Girl Scout troops bake pies for the homeless shelter this year for their Thanksgiving meal. The kids had a ball, and the folks at the shelter were all full of awe. And AWWWWW…..

  139. Been a real shit-tastic day. But then I read this and knew I needed to quit my bellyaching. So, I sent a Flock of Hope. I had a great breakfast burrito this morning and I hope some kids out there can enjoy some eggs for breakfast soon, also. (However, without salsa I’m not sure if there is a point. I digress…) And I sent it in honor of the man I love, who also happens to live with someone else. Maybe she’ll find the card and start threatening me again. That was fun.

    Regardless, out of our petty, stupid first world problems, someone should benefit. I pray this flock truly does bring hope to some needy people. And I hope the flock shits on the shitty people.

    Thank you, Bloggess. You rock

  140. Thank you for this — giving bees is my new favorite thing EVER! All of my nieces and nephew are going to get bees this year! Bees for everyone!

  141. I organize “Adopt a Family” at my office and we provide Christmas for a family that otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford presents. It’s run through the Salvation Army.

    My favorite day of the year is when I go to drop off the presents. It’s an entire gymnasium just filled with Christmases for families. Best feeling ever.

  142. I passed along the angry bee link to my husband. We’ve thought of raising bees but we don’t have the amount of yard that they need, so it would be amazing to help someone else be able to raise bees. We always donate to Childs Play (giving toys / video games to kids in the hospital) at Christmas. NERDS UNITE!

  143. I like to buy the drinks of whoever is behind me in the drive thru at Starbucks. Someone did it for me once. I was having such a bad day that it completely restored my faith in humanity–I hope I can do the same for someone else.

  144. P.S. – If you might consider selling the James Garfield holiday card in your shop, that would be worth all the awesomes.

    Just sayin’ 🙂

  145. I just went through all of my daughters toys, and donated the ones she doesn’t play with any longer to charity. The get two trash bags full. (not full of trash, just nice toys)

  146. We are Santa for 2 disadvantaged kids this year. It’s a hometown charity. We went a little overboard on gifts, but we know they’ll be happy and grateful. We may do a couple more if any other Santas fall through. It was SO MUCH FUN shopping for this! Also, this lapsed Catholic really digs Pope Francis. He’s a step in the right direction. 🙂

  147. Nice card 🙂

    I’m working with a few organizations to either obtain or re-instate their 501(c)(3) status.

  148. Our Family tradition is to go out on Christmas Day, before we have opened presents, and hand out trays of cookies and treats to those who have to work on Christmas. Usually we go to hospitals, pharmacies, hotels, gas stations, and fire departments. One year we went to a Waffle House and we got the best response ever.

    It is our way of giving back. We make them as anonymous as possible, but we do put business cards on the backs, so folks won’t think we’re poisoning them. That wouldn’t be very Christmassy.

  149. I have been adopting platoons for the last several years for the duration of their deployments. I send them packages full of jerky, twizzlers, socks & baby wipes. The majority of my troops have come home safely. also, I made my work team adopt a bunch of ordnance disposal troops for the holidays and we’re sending them holiday stockings. They’re like the Hurt Locker platoon, so these stockings need to be amazing. I have an entire office chock full of candy & toiletries that I bullied people into donating. And I really did bully, which I am not terribly proud of… So the method is not so nice, but the end result is going to be awesome.

    I think you should petition Pope Francis – he seems like a cool guy…

  150. Seems like your chances of getting James Garfield canonized are better with this Pope than any other one. You know, with him being all about caring about your fellow many and other stuff Jesus said was important. I’ll be donating some sort of thing to someone via your blog. Merry Christmas!

  151. I work at a mental health call center / crisis line. I’ll be working 10 hours on Christmas Eve, 10 hours on Christmas Day, and 10 hours on New Year’s Eve. It is the job I do every day, but those days can be pretty tough ones for folks.

    (I love everyone here, but I’m sending a special high-five to you. Those calls save lives. Thank you for that. ~ Jenny)

  152. I donated to Project Night Night for the first time ever because I found out about it from this blog. I did switch up my giving and instead of a charitable donation at Christmas I’m now giving every month to FeedAmerica as being hungry totally sucks.

    My sister was also recently in a car accident and cash is short for her on a good month and it’s nearly Christmas and she’s got two kiddos so I just gifted her $200 smackers because I’m an awesome sister like that and because I’m happy she’s alive, and because being a kid and having no money to get gifts totally sucks.

    So I guess I just rambled a lot to tell you that, while I’m not giving to your indicated charities I am giving. Though, OMG next year I should totally auction off some cookies to raise money for charity. I decorate cookies. Awesome ones. I wish I would have thought of this sooner. I’m an idiot…. but a fairly nice one so I guess that evens out.

  153. Every year I get my husband to take handmade catnip toys our local SPCA. Each cat gets hand-delivered one toy from “Santa”. (I don’t go, because I have 3 cats already, and I wouldn’t be able to control myself into not bringing any home.) Plus, we usually take cleaning supplies as well – they always welcome dish soap, laundry soap.

  154. Angry bees are so last year. Or at least what I sent my internet bestie last year. I’m thinking ducks this year. Or maybe a vegetable garden.
    Last night I babysat my dear and excellent friend’s three kids so she could have a night out with her man. Which probably doesn’t count because I got to hold a little squishy and be entertained by two literary and crafty badasses. This entry should probably go to her.

  155. A few years ago, my brother-in-law and his wife got us toilets and showers for Christmas…. or, rather, they donated enough to Oxfam for a village in Africa to receive them. We’ve been fans ever since and occasionally “buy” a pig or a flock of ducks or chickens. I love the idea of bees, though. I know two people at least on my list who will be getting bees this year.

  156. We are donating food for elementary school kids to take home over Christmas break. That’s two weeks that they aren’t getting school breakfast and lunch. Every bag of ramen helps!

  157. I am so excited about this! I will be sharing the post with my friends and maybe even sending bees to people!

  158. The highlight of my year is shopping for Toys for Tots and/or Boston Children’s Hospital. I love buying craft kits and puzzles and little tea sets and Legos. And I got a very significant raise this year, for which I am incredibly grateful. And what better way to spend a raise than on toys for kids who wouldn’t have them otherwise?

  159. My favorite part about Heifer is that if you can’t afford to donate a whole cow in someone’s name, you can just donate a portion of it. So you can give someone a cow’s butt for Christmas. 🙂

  160. So far I made Chrostmas boxes and chose girls age 10 to 12.

    I’ve also purchased bracelets to support my friend Amy’s foundation to get clean water to people. I’ve known Amy for years and fully support her, if people love water they might want to give clean water to other people. http://justonehope.org/

  161. I’m getting my poor kitty knee surgery. We found out on Thanksgiving (well, technically the day after at 3:30am) that she’s got bilateral luxating patellas, which is a degenerative congenital problem where her kneecaps dislocate. We discovered this when all of a sudden her back legs looked crippled and she couldn’t walk and was crying. It was so awful. She’s getting her surgery consult on Wednesday and hopefully the surgery soon after. Since this is going to be $500-1000, I’m not able to donate this year, and we are basically skipping Christmas for ourselves. I’m fine with that. Monkey (yep, a cat named Monkey) is more important.

  162. Obsessed with your blog! And James Garfield (as well as the balance of your taxidermy family). This year my husband and I decided that instead of doing gifts to each other, we’d adopt a family instead. I can’t say it’s been entirely selfless because I enjoy shopping for kids 10000x more than shopping for my husband, but I’m glad we are helping out someone else that needs it.

  163. If someone wants they can just drop chickens and goats off in my backyard. If they are just there one day the one who says he is the sensible one in our house can’t send them away right??? I love all that you do! Off to go donate!

  164. I am linking this page to my Facebook and LiveJournal to get the word out. I have not so much of the money this year but I can make others aware.

  165. This year all the adults in my family agreed to not buy any gifts for each other this year (we still have to buy for the kiddos, those greedy little shysters!) and do a charitable act together instead. But maybe I can convince my husband to send bees to his former boss….what? He doesn’t actually get the bees himself? Oh….maybe we will opt for the poison card after all. Winning!

  166. Last year at Christmas my mom was super depressed, so when I showed up on Christmas eve I brought lots of extra decorations and helped make the house (and mom’s heart) more festive. The prior year my sister (who is a single mom) had just been laid off, so I worked with her to make sure that my nieces still had a magical Christmas.
    This year I haven’t found my inspiration to make someone’s Christmas a little better yet, but I suspect it will involve a surprise visit to my Dad’s place before Christmas.

  167. I’d like to nominate a friend of mine, Natali. She and her daughters spent the whole month of November doing random acts of kindness for strangers. When they found out their elderly downstairs neighbor didn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, they brought the lady food and some nice lavender bath salts that she loved.

    Also, Yiddish the bomb. My favorite curse is: Gai kaken afen yamen! (Go shit in the ocean!)

  168. Thank you for finally making me get off my ass and do something! Been “meaning” to donate to Heifer for some time and simple procrastination kept telling me “I’ll do it later”. No time like the present!

    This could become a habit! It was hard to decide what to do…but I figure you know what? There’s at least 11 more months to choose from!

  169. So, I think I’m going to have to suck it up, and dress up as Santa this weekend. Not a pretty sight – I’m a 5’3″, graying, portly gal. Dressing as Santa, to wrangle pets for pictures, to raise big bucks for the local animal shelter. Putting my money where my mouth is, when I’d rather be collecting it from the people buying pictures. If I have to stand up next to a Great Dane, someone’s gonna really be disappointed! Well, at least it’s LIVE animals!
    Give my best to James Garfield (and believe it or not, I’ll be right down the street from President James A. Garfield’s house in Ohio)!

  170. The kids and hubby and I donated 5 new big toys to the toy bin in the mall. The firefighters take the toys and distribute them to local families.
    Keep up the great work Jenny!

  171. Last year I donated several chickens and goats through Oxfam, but my favourite? A bag of poo. Brilliant on so many levels! Anyone complains about charity gifts deserves a bag of poo, and people who are awesome appreciate it outright.

  172. I spent some money from my first grown-up paycheck to buy a kid some duplo block for Toys for Tots. I figured if I loved mine so much as a kid, some other little kid would too. And they’re gender-neutral which is great. Also, my church donated a whole tree worth of mittens, hats, scarves, and warm socks to family services for the Lakota nation. Because South Dakota is cold. James Garfield is wonderful, and I will share this awesomeness with others.

  173. I do nice things all the time for my children, who are too busy being ungrateful, they don’t notice. I spend a good amount of time doing nice things for my sons school, like running the freakin’ parent group… I also did it at the preschool, and will probably do it again when my youngest is moved onto middle school (which in my town is grades 4-7, weird, I KNOW). I plan/coordinate all sorts of free family events at our school which has a 90% poverty rate right now, and a 5% homeless rate, as we have a couple hotels in our schools district who participate in the “right to shelter” program we have in Mass. where families who are (or about to be) homeless sign up and get boarded in places such as hotels because there aren’t enough beds in shelters. In early October we had a sudden influx of over 50 grade K-3 kids in our little school of 200. We had to hire 2 new teachers to accommodate the new kids, and we had no idea they were coming. some of the families have been placed in housing, but many remain, and many come and go, and our school sees most of it. We have 2 other elementary schools in our town, who aren’t [directly] affected.
    Many of these new families have the sweetest children, and homelessness is such a very real problem that happens to “normal” people.

  174. A friend just celebrated her birthday and for part of her present, I donated to the Georgia Jack Russell Rescue in her name. She volunteers with that group.
    We also have a tradition of donating to Heifer at Christmas as a “present” from my kids to their grandmother. No worries, though, it’s what my mother-in-law requests.

  175. I seriously love that it took me forever and a day to scroll down to be able to comment. Way to get people going! I would love to get a James Garfield card to send to my friend who came with me to see you in St. Louis. She is a wonderful sarcastic person who is stuck everyday with elementary school children who suck the life out of her. She’s a Elementary Librarian and she’s also awesome enough to let me use her back room at school to store the food that I use for the Operation Backpack program at said school. Love helping the kiddos! Would love a x-mas card with curse words!

  176. Our Elf On The Shelf will appear with $$ and a map instructing the littles to pick out gifts for less fortunate littles and deposit them in the Toys For Tots barrel. Giving really does feel good, even though it’s a tough sell at first.

  177. –>Set up a Toys 4 Tots drive for the folks in our 21 story building. It was sad to learn that the kids often overlooked in the drive are 9-11 years old.

    -deb

  178. I like the idea of helping kids, but I always go down to the local shelter and bring food and toys to the cats and dogs. I don’t want the animals thinking they cant have a Christmas as well. 🙂

  179. This year I am hand making all of my family art that I know they will enjoy and custom painting the frames to match because those poeple have been wonderful for me and they deserve something awesome this year.

  180. Thanks for the reminder, Jenny. I have the heifer catalog around here somewhere. I’m crazy about goats, I think they are so neat, so that might be a fun one to give. I wonder if I can specify those adorable fainting goats? And thanks for all you do to pass the giving spirit around each year. James Garfield is the bomb.

  181. Each year my department gathers donations from throughout our company and purchases items for the three kindergarten classes at a low-income school in our area. We provide each child with a sweatshirt, underwear, socks, a t-shirt, toothbrush & toothpaste, a book, a coloring book & crayons, a toy and some candy.
    We take the items to the classrooms and spend the afternoon reading with them and making crafts. The reaction of the kiddos is priceless. They’re so overjoyed about something as simple as a toothbrush. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and also like an asshole for always taking everything for granted.
    Happy Holidays.

  182. This year I am not able to do any good things for others. My father-in-law has found his way to the VA to enjoy his Thanksgiving/Christmas break down without the hassle of dealing with family. Which officially makes him the smartest man I know. If I would have though of it I totally would have joined him for Thanksgiving.. The man happens to be one of my favorite people ever with a fantastic personality. Bi-polar and all he still has the best attitude about almost everything. Unfortunately my mother-in-law and husband (who don’t suffers from any sort of mental illness-jerks) don’t get the hilarity that my dear ole dad and I do. They are always confused when we get on the phone and laugh non stop for the full time.. totally forgetting to let the others ask how he is. You see we’ve decided to blame them for our mental issues and are working in conjunction to get our positions reversed where Dad and I get to stay out of the hospital and we get to institutionalize them in our place. They are all moody and stressed when we are in so it only seems fair to give them the vacation and good drugs while we worry about bills and feeding the kid/dogs. Because… well we are both bat-shit crazy and would totally send our electric bills in crayon… We would laugh and since they tend to give us drugs on the outside as well it seems like the best case scenario.. How to tell your family you love them you ask? with a 72 hour hold and Vicodin! You’re Welcome and Merry Christmas! Now I could use a hug…

  183. Hey, LouLou (comment #208), how does one donate a bag of poo? I’m assuming it’s a bag of fertilizer. Is that in the Heifer donations list and I just missed it, or is it another charity.

  184. For the past few years my boyfriend and I have been thinking about going and paying off someones layaway at Kmart. It’s been done, and I know the people at Kmart are more understanding than trying to do something like that at Walmart. We’ve just never had the cash flow to manage to do it, but this year we’re going to go in, talk to the employees and hopefully find a few layaway accounts full of childrens stuff that might not be paid off in time. Anonymously and all sneaky like. Last year we did end up buying a homeless man lunch, some snacks and giving him a ride to a shelter 45 minutes away. He was crying when he realized he’d have his own bed, and a TV that he could watch his AM preachers on. We hung out with him for a few hours, chatted, and paid for him to get a haircut and a shave.

  185. I lost my job in July 2012 and am now trying to make a go of being a Virtual Assistant but will likely cash out one of my “get rich glacially slowly” projects (taking online surveys) and donate.

    However, my good deed project for this year is that I have a friend living in Costa Rica in a horrible situation and she wants to come to the States (she’s a US citizen) but doesn’t have a job or anything so I’m going to have her stay with me until she gets things figured out. I really wish that I had a house, instead of an apartment, so she could always have somewhere she could call “home”, but I’ve got an awesome air bed and a space for her to sleep so I’m doing the best with what I have.

    I wish I could do more and hope that next year I will have lots of clients so I CAN do more and help contribute to James Garfield’s Sainthood!

  186. I bought a book for our library in honor of my new nephew. “Everybody Poops” is now a part of the IMCPL in honor of baby Liam. I can’t wait until this kid graduates college.

  187. I helped a little old lady get toilet paper down from a high shelf.
    I know it sounds weird as most things I do are but she was quite shocked when I handed it to her.
    She must have some real asshats around her if she considers that a big deal.

  188. It’s the 4th year already? Time for me to get busy then…
    It was that first year that inspired my family to put toys and books together and then find a needy kid (using Craigslist and Kijiji) to give them to. We’ve been doing this ever since year 1.

    Do you see all this Pope? Surely a guy who used to be a bouncer (for reals. Look it up) would think this miracle worthy.

  189. BeeBelle, aim for a full IEP, not a 504, if you can possibly do so. An IEP is a much bigger stick to beat up teachers with. (Moving from a 504 to an IEP was Best Thing Ever for my kid.) The sooner you request a meeting with your school’s Student Services/Special Ed folks, to upgrade to the IEP, the sooner that ball can get rolling, hopefully. Good luck!!

    (Sorry, Bloggess, but I have not been a very helpful person this year. *sigh* Have only gotten a couple of the feast-in-a-box things from the local store to donate to the local food pantry, and need to track down where the Salvation Army is so I can get rid of a lot of the kid’s old clothing that is not worn out.)

  190. You’re great and an inspiration.
    Last weekend I volunteered at our local Help Portrait event (even though I just had cataract surgery two days before). Sure hope those portraits look okay to people with normal eyesight.
    But my all time favorite charity is Zimkids Orphan Trust… visit them at http://www.zimkids.com … Some absolutely amazing and phenomenal people are at the heart of this organization. They offer a safety net for 200 Zimbabwean orphans by providing food, medical needs, tutoring, and so much more.
    So that’s where my $ and my energies go, Jenny. But maybe I”ll buy some bees for my next door neighbor who yells at me every year because my leaves blow in his yard.

  191. My kids are getting Christmas in spite of the fact that they act like Santa is a punk ass bitch who don’t run shit. -_-

  192. I am in a non-profit group called AZ TARDIS. We basically use Doctor Who cosplay and awesomeness to raise money for charity. The group even built its own full size TARDIS which as we speak is being stuffed full of canned food at a local record store. Nerdiness + helping people = rad.

    (Also I made a craft beer advent calendar for my husband, but that isn’t exactly helping the needy, it is just helping him drink delicious surprise beers)

  193. I heard on the radio that today is Giving Tuesday and I thought- oh no…. I haven’t done anything.
    Low and Behold – Jenny saves my Butt!!!

    I donated to the Night Night thing and that feels awesome.
    I would totally do the other, but I am overly short on cash this year. Moving across country and no real full time job sort of takes the fun out of it.

    Thanks for all the crazy you share!!!!

  194. I noticed a homeless man sittin in front of a store while I started my Christmas shopping.
    While i was shopping for friends and family, I bought him a new hat, mitts, a scarf, new socks (you can never have enough clean warm socks) and a warm sweater.
    It wasn’t much, but it was all i could afford. He was so happy and appreciative, it warmed my heart.

  195. My photographer friends & I are donating to a family in need, as well as doing family photos for homeless/domestic violence shelter… I got so much from strangers growing up poor, I love to give back. Thanks for all you do, Jenny… xoxo

  196. I want a Llama! No, really, a llama for me, not a llama for some deserving person in another country… I guess that’s selfish and I should just bask in their llama-ness.

    Anyhoo, the thing that I’m doing this Christmas is donating wooly scarves and toiletries to the Sisters of the Poor who run a foodbank and give donated gifts to people who wouldn’t otherwise get them.

  197. I once volunteered to sort toys at the toys for tots warehouse – hardest most backbreaking work I’ve ever done! Also taught me what types of toys to donate (focus on well-boxes toys and think about teenagers- no one buys for teens and they need Christmas love too!)

    Project Night Night rocks- send them money!

    And whoever called us the Bloggess Army- awesome- the BA… Nearly as awesome as “lawsbians” 🙂

  198. For Mom I donated to the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust (they foster elephants and rhinos orphaned by poachers); for my big brother I donated to the National Geograhic “Build a Boma, Save a Lion” program; and for my little brother I donated to TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors – TAPS is the 24/7 tragedy assistance resource for ANYONE who has suffered the loss of a military loved one, regardless of the relationship to the deceased or the circumstance of the death.) I really like the Be a Santa for a Senior program too. I think I’ll do that as well. And this is not holiday specific, but on Saturdays, I take cases of water and donuts down to the homeless folks who live under the interstate overpass. After I purge my closet, I’ll be taking all my clothes to them as well.

  199. I’ve been carrying a little human in my uterus for 8 months now. This is probably the nicest thing I’ve done for anyone ever. I wouldn’t carry his father around for 8 months even though I married the guy.

    He’s probably not going to thank me for all the tasty calories and warm sleeping place when he comes out, though. Oh no, I’m sure he’s going to be an ungrateful little wretch until sometime after college when he realizes how good he had it all those months.

  200. I promise NOT to STAB anyone this Christmas season. (unless they REALLY need to be STABBED! then I’ll do it….)

  201. I’d love a card! I’m collecting used sheets, blankets, and yoga mats for the local no-kill animal shelter.

  202. This year as money is tight I am painting for my family members.
    Thanks for cheering me up today Jenny you are the best.

  203. I’m continuing to feed and house our cat even though he is working steadily at scratching up our new couch. He doesn’t deserve my kindness! But seriously we have started donating every month to our local food bank. The first month I took my three year old grocery shopping and he picked out the food. Last month I chose $20 of diapers and wipes. Every little bit helps and I hope he grows up to help others when he can.

  204. I am heading up a “random acts of Christmas kindness” campaign at the school I teach at in order to help curb bullying this holiday season.

  205. I needed this. My husband’s exwife just asked for child support early because she is one of the many unemployed this year and fear eviction. I was crabby about it, but this reminded me to be grateful for what I have and give what I can. I am also going to donate bees, or a goat, or a pig or something in the name of my stepson (he’s 13) as part of his Christmas. Not the same as opening a present, but totally worth it.

  206. I love lamas! I am doing something nice for my daughter. While she is at her Dad’s this weekend I am using all of her paintings to turn our home into a wonderland. I also emailed the answers to tomorrows assignment to six of my classmates but I don’t know if voluntary plagerism counts….

  207. I try to highlight dog rescue (more specifically Doberman rescue) fundraisers. But really, I do that all year. So it might not count as a holiday thing? I dunno. Whatevs. You should totally send Pope Francis a James Garfield card. He seems like a guy who can appreciate a good chuckle.

  208. Instead of running away in terror of saying Happy Holiday to me from the salvation army ringers this year…actually have a few extra dollars and cents with me to drop in their buckets and maybe hand off a Snickers bar to them or coffee…or a llama. Though, it maybe hard to get that into those little buckets….but with some duct tape and a screw driver…..endless possibilities!!!

  209. Bless you, Jenny. You helped me get my head out of my ass and stop feeling sorry for myself. As soon as my bank refunds the money some complete asshole took out of my bank account to pay for their plane ticket to Brazil, I will be making some donations.

  210. I’m donating to Heifer through Pat Rothfuss’s Worldbuilders charity, and also buying Christmas presents for people through their associated Tinkers Packs store (portion of proceeds goes to Heifer through Worldbuilders). We do this every year since we discovered it in 2011!

  211. Is the llama’s name Lorenzo or Dolly? (I can’t take credit for coming up with these llama names, but I love them nonetheless).

    I am going to my annual women lawyers’ fundraising event this week. The proceeds go to help two local charities, one that helps teen mothers and the other that provides kids with winter coats, gloves and other outerwear. The

  212. My Daughter & I like to donate books to our local kid’s Hospital. Merry M’F’N EVERYTHING!!!!

    Cards for my bestie in jail PLEASE!!!

  213. Just finished the angel tree shopping for 2 children in our area. Unfortunately, it led to a difficult, total mom fail moment on my part. Fortunately, 2 children will now have Christmas. I am going with the glass is half full.

  214. It’s all kinds of motherfucking awesome. We adopt a family from the crisis center each year. It is sad to see their wish list which includes blankets, shoes, socks 🙁

  215. HEH!

    This Pope is not “slightly less creepy.”

    He is awesome.

    Note: he has said the “shepherds need to smell like the people they serve”.

    Which means the one serving your house smells like?

    Whoa, dude.

  216. I made a Target wish list for the tornado victims in Central IL, where I grew up. Since I can’t go back home right now to help in person, this has to do. 🙂

  217. We have a book exchange at work (I work for a federal health agency, where there is a great deal of pressure.) I bought out the metaphysical book section of Borders when they closed and I drop off a few books at a time at the exchange table. They are usually gone in 2-3 minutes, whereas the romance and spy books sit there for weeks. Someone saw me do it one day and came running after me, asking me where I was getting all these books and why I was giving them away. I told her that it’s my way of spreading the dharma. When she looked puzzled, I told her that I had no idea what it meant either, but that the books make me feel good, so I thought I’d spread some joy, ninja-style. Namaste bitches!

  218. Well.. I love this! I wish I could afford to donate, I’ll share though! We’re totally doing the”rewrap shit you already have” for my almost 3 year old and 1month old. For Christmas I’ll be slightly less of a bitch to my mil (but she’s Jewish so I don’t have to be completely pleasant…right?).
    Love you Jenny!

  219. I’m doing nice for others by being my amazing self. I think (KNOW) it really brightens their day.

  220. We getting a house with a lift system built for a Mom with 3 adult kids in wheelchairs. At 55 yrs old she still lifts them in and out of their wheelchairs.

  221. I want a card… To go with my copy if your book!!
    At the museum the Santa said,” Do you want to know what Santa wants for Christmas?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to that question. Before I could reply he said, ” I want you to call the museum and complain about this little train table right in front if Santas living room set up!” I thought,” Santa is a dick! Not every kid wants story time with Santa. Some enjoy playing with the train table 10 foot from the train rides!” But he restored my faith in Santa when he gave me the reason: “There is a huge, dog boned shaped, train table in the back hallway that they use in Santas living room in the past. Please tell them you want that train table to make a comeback!!!” So I use my cell to call member services and get Santa the”gift” he wanted!!! He was actually impressed with me! I totally made it to the nice list this year!!!

  222. I am new to this wonderful, bizarre world. It is as if my brain finally found it’s own internet happy place 🙂 I am trying to work with Vitanna to send two kids to school – but just as a small donation. My husband is a post-doc and I am a grad student so money is tight – but we try. And I say this – you can help by just talking to someone in line who looks lonely, buying the coffee for the person behind you, or helping someone carry bags to the car. It is amazing how kind people have been to me in random circumstances – just stay open for the little things since, especially on tight budgets, it feels so hard to help with money you do not have to spend. Or a bag of bees – that does sound perfectly amazing 🙂

  223. I want a card too! I’m in Canada, so I’ll tell you what I’ve done in this country to make me worthy of a James Garfield card: I made a committment in January to give 2% of my earnings to charity this year. Since then, I have supported a boy named Jean in Haiti through Plan International, a woman named Raisa in Afghanistan through Women for Women International, and I have used a great website called Chimp.net to send money through the interwebz to the Canadian Red Cross (for Phillippines disaster relief), to the Nature Conservancy (because I love me some nature), to Ballet British Columbia (because I saw their interpretation of Giselle this spring and want to keep seeing it over and over and over again), and to the Canadian Cancer Agency (because cancer sucks, yo). Hope that deserves a card!

  224. This year we donated toys to Toys for Tots. I think we will donate to Project Night Night too! Thanks for the post, you rock! 😀

  225. I haven’t given much this year. I have taken my niece and nephew out a few times since I’ve returned to Seattle, which I think gives to me at least as much as it gives to them. I am here emotionally and physically for my two housemates who sometimes need to vent or share. (Although, they are supporting me while I look for work.) I am making gifts for folks this year because I like to do so; I’m just fortunate that crocheting simple things is cheaper than most other gifts.

    In the past, I gave my old car (in really excellent condition) to friends who didn’t have a workable vehicle; I paid friends to bring my mom’s car (which I inherited) to me in Texas and to bring my old car to friends back in Oregon. I also gave those friends my old laptop when theirs died. But I haven’t had anything to share with anyone this year and I’m running kinda low on funds, so I’ll probably stick to just making gifts for people and being there so my friends always have an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to help.

  226. I have not lost my shit not one time this week. Also, a lady in front of me at the grocery store accidentally hid her pasta under her purse and didn’t realize it till I was already checking out, so I said, “Put that shit on my tab!” For real. It was like a $1.39 or something. And, I almost forgot, a couple weeks ago I saw a family on a corner with a sign that said “help us get to California” and although what I *really* wanted to do was question them intensely about their circumstances and how well this method of fundraising was going, instead I showed great restraint and just gave them all the cash I had. Which, granted, was not much….Well, my husband just fucked that up. I have actually lost my shit this week. Forget I said anything.

  227. I bought shoes for one of the kids in my class yesterday that was wearing them 3 sizes too small. Does that count?

  228. I left a $50 tip on a $50 bill at the nail salon Sunday for no better reason other than I was feeling bad about feeling vain and just felt like it and appreciate being lucky enough to do so. Damn onions.

  229. I got my co-works to help me write dozens of holiday cards to the troops donated through the Red Cross 🙂

  230. I would love to help, but the husband is on the cusp of a lay off and I just can’t afford it. I wish you all the best in helping the little one’s with Night Night bags and I hope many, many heifers get to their new home. I would a card from you. It would never be put away, like my Christmas slut ornament and my two ducks with guns ornaments!

  231. I’m not able to help other people however this is the first year I will be able to give my two kids a decent normalish Christmas, as in, we are in our own place and will have our own tree with lights and ornaments this year. I love watching the goodness be spread!

  232. Love the Project Night Night and will donate to them this year.
    I get so frustrated year after year trying to get a good photo of my kids (who hate having their picture taken), plus the cost of cards and postage, then knowing each card will be thrown away in a few weeks. So I decided this year no Christmas cards. Not one. Calculated what I’d spend and donating that to local food bank. I feel much more in the spirit of the season with this decision.

  233. My list feels so weak right now, but I’m doing what I can. I contributed to funding a health documentary, and to medical research. I also reached out to someone who was having a hard time.

    And I let my cat sit on me. A lot.

    (…but that’s mostly for me)

  234. Husband and I like to reward the people who are joyfully working hard. When we go out to eat during the holidays, we tip 100% of the bill. That extra money doesn’t make much of a difference in our pockets, but, having worked in the service industry before, we know what it means to the server. Makes me feel happy and warm inside, even though we never get to see their face when they look at the credit card receipt.

  235. We downsized our Christmas tree last year so that it’s now about 3 feet tall. Now we are donating large ornaments and other Christmas type things for other people to use. And we will participate in the Giving Tree at church. Thanks Jenny for all you do.

  236. We’re going to the ladies group at the assisted-living home, and giving holiday-themed manicures!

  237. I donate my bodily fluids every 8 weeks. Does that count as “doing something nice?”

    Of course, by bodily fluids I mean blood…. menstrual blood?… no not menstrual blood. Geez.

  238. The people I know don’t need *things* so most of them are getting charitable donations this year. Heifer (a garden basket, not bees), CURE Childhood Cancer, Kiva, rescue.org, and globalgiving.org. Project Night Night has just been added to my list. 🙂

  239. Love this! We always buy presents for our third (imaginary) child and donate to toys for tots. Feeling fruitful I think we can manage to by an oxen and toys. Thank you for reminding us what is important….and what is funny!

  240. So my real contribution to my family is that I’m having the first grand-baby which got my grandmother (Mawmaw) to come for Christmas for the first time in 8 years – she is slightly obsessed with her great grand baby and being the great Mawmaw. For this I get daily kicked in the ribs by an overactive tiny human male – wondering if this is some kind of biblical reference to the whole Eve thing.

    Anyway, my other contribution is I’m helping all the loudly complaining people by purchasing their Christmas presents for them when they don’t have: the time, corresponding coupons or a credit card to order stuff online. I’m like a really tall elf.

    Happy Holidays!

  241. I already give a monthly donation to Heifer for bees, but I’ll pony up a little more…

    You are quite an inspiration in a weird, twisted sort of way!

  242. Such a wonderful thing to do. Even if the Pope doesn’t Canonize our dear bodiless boar.

  243. I’m going to bring my puppy on a 300 mile trip to meet my grandmother who is in hospice care. She asks about the little fuzzball every time I talk to her.

  244. My best friend has an aggressive and advanced cancer that was just diagnosed early 2013. She tried an experimental treatment but the effects of the treatments left her near death. She was placed in hospice. Since she has stopped treatment she is feeling much better and has now moved to the UK equivalent of a nursing home.

    She has a granddaughter who will be 2 in March. I am sending her as many recordable books that I can find so she can record them while she is still feeling up to it. This way her current granddaughter and any future grandchildren can have ‘Nan’ read to them.

  245. i love you jenny,,my cousin and i have sent each other bees a few times,, and we like each other quite well i assure you,,it never occurred to me to send them to someone i dont like… BRILLIANT! doing this soon,,

  246. I did my good deed. My friend found two Angel Tree tickets floating around in the greeting card section of a store. She posted them online and I found who they belonged to. They were lost tickets but two others needed gifts so I took them on. I got The Lawsbians involved and they donated small amounts of money to raise about $70 so that the kids could have pants, shirts, dinosaurs, and unicorns. My friend did the shopping since she lives in the same city where the. Angel Tree church is located. Thanks for being an inspiration. <3

  247. My daughter’s Girl Scout troop (3 high school girls) can never decide what to collect or who to donate to at Christmas time (typical teenagers). So I think you just made things that much easier with Project Night Night and Heifer.org
    Thanks for making the next meeting a little less of a headache for me!! 🙂

  248. Finally after the longest 5 years, this Christmas I am not homeless so that makes it the best Christmas EVER!

    My thoughts and prayers go out to those who still are. <3

  249. I went without as a child, and thanks to generous adults like the ones who read your blog, I got a present *every* year. So now, as an adult, I pull an ornament from The Giving Tree (a local charity that helps kids in need get presents for Christmas). Some years, I get 2 ornaments. But I feel like giving back is the only possible way to show my gratitude. <3
    Thanks for being awesome, guys. Everyone who donates is someone's hero. Even if you donate the bees. 'Cause seriously, we need more honey bees. 🙂
    Happy Holidays, guys! The world needs more people like you.

  250. We gave two bags of groceries (canned goods) to our local Salvation Army. Not the militant wing though. I think we will buy from heifer International for all our family. Probably honey bees bc they’re really in troube and the loss of the worlds pollinators is a scary scary thing…

  251. This year I’ve asked everyone to not buy me presents, but instead to consider donating to my charity climb up a skyscraper benefiting the Respiratory Health Association in honor of my late stepdad. If I can help fund more research then maybe other people won’t have to say goodbye to their dads too soon.

    But I might buy some angry bees too.

  252. Because of you, my student have donated to Project Night Night two years in a row. I’m going for three! My husband, son, and I also buy bees and chickens from Heifer every year. Thank you for the llama!

  253. I am pitching a project to my city manager before Christmas. If he (and City Council) approves it, my project will train people on how to deconstruct buildings instead of demolishing them. They will then take the salvaged materials to sell in a retail store (which will also provide training and jobs) or recycle. The city will get rid of vacant buildings that should be torn down, people will get training and jobs, and we’ll reduce the amount of waste going to the landfill by up to 85%. Hipsters will be able to buy that mid-century modern faucet! If my project succeeds, I will have helped people get real skills and jobs. It won’t be in time for the holidays, but it just might have a truly lasting impact on my city. This isn’t to brag on me. I just had an idea one day and had the support of my boss to run with the idea. I’m so grateful that I have a boss (finally) who doesn’t try to beat the creativity and innovation out of me. Even if this project fails, at least I had the support and respect of my boss. That is truly a wonderful gift.

    I’m miles away from family but really want to make the giant meal. Anyone in the Tidewater Virginia area want to come over for Christmas?

    PS, should my comment be selected for a card, please send it to my friend Vikki. It would make her year.

  254. I got Heifer bees for my aunt for her birthday last month! Because she is a terrible person.

  255. I am going to a homeless shelter this weekend to lead a gift making event. It will also include cookie decorating. I also was a United Way captain for our dept and a Sunday School program leader.

    I love sites like Heifer because how fun is it to tell people you bought them a farm animal?!

  256. My husband’s unemployed this year. So I’ll tell him about the llama you bought for us all. He’ll be super stoked. He likes llamas. Especially when other people get them. Oh, and I’ll show him my tits. My husband, not the llama. I’m super charitable that way.

  257. Let’s see, I helped my parents move. This required me to see my step-siblings and be nice all while carrying heavy boxes. This made me feel kind of proud and proved that I can actually behave like an adult when necessary. Plus I ate a chocolate covered potato chip yesterday when it was offered to me so as not to offend the offerer. It was so good that it must come from the Devil.

  258. We organize a big service project party for local Girl Scouts. This year they made tons of ornaments, decorations and cards for nursing homes, blankets for the Linus Project, and donated over 350 canned goods to the local food pantry, over 300 items to the Yellow Ribbon Support Foundation and 2 cases of can tabs and 3 cases of coloring books to the Ronald McDonald House. This is the 18th year our scouts have done this!

  259. I donated to Project Night Night – one tote bag for each of my 7-year-old twins. Then printed out a letter telling them each how $20 they might have gotten for Xmas went to kids who don’t have a room full of blankets, books, and toys. Maybe next year I’ll let them pick the target of the donation…

    I also went to the True Colors Fund to donate on behalf of my 15-year-old daughter – helping with homeless LBGTQ teens.

    Jenny rules. Depression drools.

  260. Well this year I’ve helped recycle all the paper and stuff from my school. Not an easy feat. And I got my geography teacher chickens and a goat with my class. She was so excited that she got chickens and a goat (through Heiffer so she really just got a cute picture). Had she been mean of course she would have gotten some bees. Or a water buffalo because what do you say to that?

  261. Can’t afford to buy presents this year, so I made my 2 year old niece her own Waldorf doll out of an old t shirt and stuffed with an old stained college sweatshirt that my husband has been bugging me to toss out. Only cost was $4 for yarn for the hair, although now that I re-read this it uses the word “sweat” more often than you’d expect for a child’s toy. And then I sent $10 to Scary Mommy’s Thanksgiving fundraiser. Wish we could donate more this year, but that’s probably it for cash donations. Tell James Garfield that as a Jew I fully support his bid for sainthood.

  262. My good deed (or one if them anyway) is that I am organizing a blood drive for the American Red Cross at my workplace. Also, I plan to snarf down as many cookies as I can during the holidays to protect others from the risk of high blood sugar and cavities.

  263. I bought the single mother who is college bound soon, YAY! down the street a Kindle. Its nicer than mine actually. Is it bad to be jealous of a present?

  264. Did you see this?
    http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/12/03/pope-i-was-once-a-bar-bouncer/
    The Pope was a bouncer. Which is much cooler than a Pope that used to be a Nazi, by the way. But back to the Pope being a bouncer. The Pope was a bouncer. Did I already mention that the Pope was a bouncer?

    This is great news for James Garfield. If JG’s fans get unruly, the Pope totally has his back. His back, like he protects him, not like his actual back. Although we don’t really know who has his ACTUAL back, so the Pope could actually have his back, which would add yet another cool factor to Bouncer Pope Francis.

    As far as giving, if you’re looking for a good cause, my friend’s 6 year old cousin was in an accidental explosion two days ago. We’re trying to help him out. Feel free to visit http://www.gofundme.com/5jy0wk Or just send warm wishes his way. He’s a pretty brave little guy.

  265. Sorry, I was reading too fast and I thought you said “lick here”.

    This year I’m participating with a group of people from work and a local social services office to give gifts to children who wouldn’t otherwise be getting much, if anything. For “my” 2 kids: I got them exactly what was on their Christmas wish lists, which was something I always wished for as a kid.

    Merry merry little kids. And everybody else, even if there is no licking involved.

  266. I just donated to Project Night Night. We are also adopting a “grandparent” from the local nursing home.
    I would LOVE one of your cards! That is my style of decorating. Between my kids and my MIL, there is glitter and talking Santa’s all over this house. I NEED something with some cuss words on it.

  267. Every year my sister reminds me:
    “Oh yeah”, she says, “I remember the year you got me the GOAT.”
    Long telephone pause…..

  268. I do tons of nice shit for people all day. I drink coffee so I don’t kill them, I courtesy flush (sometimes even more than once) when I have to poop in a public restroom, and since I work with preschoolers and spend all day wiping asses and snotty noses that aren’t mine, I am an avid hand washer. Spread the love, not the nasty snotty/poop germs, I always say.

  269. My nice thing is that I posted on my Jewish friend’s Facebook the Yiddish phrases. Also I’m serving food at the local shelter’s Christmas party but mostly the Yiddish thing!

  270. I have little money, I am a therapist for kids who need those donations. But I would so love a card. It would be another way my sick humor will bolster my work with my kiddos and keep me moving on… just sayin’ Plus also, I think I will send some bees to my ex, he “deserves” them.

  271. I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for 9… while I had a stomach bug without making anyone else sick. THAT’S giving! Also, I live in the hope that one day we’ll be caught up enough on our own bills to help other people out with theirs… or to buy them llamas. Yo mama a llama!

  272. This is what the holiday season is all about! Thank you for bringing hope and joy to so many peeps.

  273. Ok – this has nothing to do with this post… buuuuut. I suggested my friend’s book club (based in charlotte, nc) read your book, because… well, I recommend it to everyone, always, because I laughed until I peed. Who doesn’t want to read a book like that? So, when confronted with “is your book club going to read my rec or not?” It turns out you’re up to bat, Jenny. In my jubilation, I whipped out my kindle to re-read some favorite chapters. Then I commented “I hope none of your southern belle book clubbers have a problem with foul language.” To which she replied: “oh shit.” I feel like this situation is already a giant win. I’ll let you know how it goes.

  274. Hey Jenny: I am going to support a Night Night, especially since they include BOOKS ( and you should absolutely write a children’s book-just maybe without the fucks and shits) but they only show Pay Pal. PP takes a cut off the front and back end. Any way to pay straight in so all the bucks go to the project ? PS: keep kicking ass, even taxidermied asses.

  275. I’m going to donate to both/all of those; that’s a great idea!

    What am I doing for someone this year? I choreographed two dances for my friend who has cancer, and filmed them, and I’m sending the video to him next week after months of people helping me out. So really, tens of people helped with this gift, and I’m hoping it gives him a little long-distance hug and cheer. Or a good laugh, something along those lines.

  276. I’m a nursing assistant, so that means we have to keep the facility staffed 24/7/365. I was lucky enough to be scheduled for my weekend on Christmas Day, but I have no family in the immediate area, so I’m switching with a coworker so she can spend Christmas with her kids.

  277. My parents and I adopted a little girl for a local charity – we bought a ton of stuff and it was soo much fun! Now, I’m trying to come up with crafts for 5 – 10 year olds for our school’s holiday charity party for kids (I’m a teacher in this story, BTW)…it should be a blast!

  278. I gave bees. I feel guilty because they seem to be disappearing now and I sure did kill a few of them as a kid (mainly because they would die when they stung me-assholes). I hope they bring someone honey and sustainable growing through pollination. Thanks for the idea, you rock like a Fraggle!

  279. My husband and I recently stopped buying gifts for everyone, and instead make donations in people’s names. Like some families, we fell into the “which gift card would Susie really like” category, and realized that all that money could go to much better use.

  280. We decided to do almost all of our gift shopping from independent artists and small businesses. I guess there are nicer things we could do (and I caved and bought a few things from a big store) but according to the notes we’re getting with our packages, we’re making a few people happy 🙂

  281. I was going to brag about how I’m buying toys for some Christmas wish cards, but I say give all the cards to the lady taking calls on New Years n Xmas

  282. Ten Project Night Night gifts given… one from me, others from random people above who couldn’t afford it. Spreading the love, because I don’t have Christmas cheer. Except, well, maybe a little.

  283. This year we are going to continue our tradition of paying off someone’s lay away at Kmart. Last year we were able to pay off 4 people’s lay always and they were able to take their kids toys home to wrap. It makes me feel good, it helps teach my children to help those that they can help and I usually get hugs out of the deal.
    Joycelyn

  284. I love this and will definitely help out! At least once a pay I try to do a pay-it-forward thing, usually buying the coffee of whoever’s in line behind me at the coffee shop. Nothing major, but what an awesome way to start off the day!

  285. I go the ‘random acts of kindness’ route. I pay for the groceries of the person behind me especially if it’s an elderly person obviously on a tight budget. I pay for the goods of the person behind me at retail stores esp when they are short of the total. And this year since my family has lost its holiday spirit, I am purchasing toys and clothes from the community tree, buying food for a friend who is out of work, and volunteering to help wrap gifts for the assisted living center I live next to. And maybe I’ll buy a heifer or some bees, who knows?

  286. I have two friends who are single moms and could not afford winter gear for themselves, only their kids. So I bought one a new winter jacket and the other one new snowpants. Both these women are such good mamas they would freeze before getting something for themselves, so I was the xmas fairy this year.

  287. I’m really poor this year, so I can’t donate, but I spend all day every day helping families with kids/brothers/sisters with disabilities navigate the (awful) system….

    And I love you. In a totally non-stalker-y, reader-y way. 🙂

    Kiss James Garfield for me. And thanks for the llama. <3

  288. First thing I’m going to do is see if #JamesGarfieldForSainthood can become a trending thing (along w/ links to PNN and Heifer). Going to purchase a couple of the Project Night Night packages too. Christmas Eve and Day I will be working at the nursing home, I volunteered since I have no little ones at home. Will do what I can for those who don’t have family coming in to visit, then go visit my mom at the assisted living place she lives in. Since I’ll be celebrating the end of 3 years of paying off a bankruptcy, yay me!, I am going to find someone in Portland who needs a little help and do what I can for them. That light down at the end of the tunnel isn’t a train for once.

  289. My dad died in August. I’m now the primary care giver for my elderly mother. Christmas this year is going to suck, but a James Garfield card would make it suck less. For me at least, it might freak my mother out.

  290. I can’t think of anything specific, but I try to do at least one small thing a day for someone, even if it’s just holding a door. And saying thank you to bus drivers and train conductors.

  291. I’m volunteering not to punch anybody in the face this holiday season. It’s a sacrifice, but hey, it’s Christmas.

    I suppose I’m joking. Maybe. 😉 At any rate, I plan to donate home cooked meals and snacks to a few folks who are shut-in due to illness…blue rolling walker in tow. It’ll be like a little TARDIS-colored Santa sleigh. I need a fez!

  292. I love that you do things like this. THanks for spreading the holiday joy this season (as corny as that sounds). You deserve an Ox too

  293. I’m a high school English teacher. Every year our school identifies needy children from the local elementary schools and we have a huge party for them. I sponsor Beta Club and we will buy gifts for one child and give them to her at the party. This is my 4th year participating in the party, and there is nothing better than seeing the faces of children light up at the sight of Santa Claus!

    p.s. I’m also a high school English teacher for seniors, so this time of year is HELL and a James Garfield card would make my life.

    p.p.s I also read excerpts from your book to my students when we are working on autobiographies. You have the best voice-and they especially love the story of Stanley.

  294. You know, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the Pope actually did read your site. He seems pretty cool.

  295. I love the Project Night Night and 2010 efforts! I wish I could donate this year but I wont be able to. This year I spent pretty much all my ‘extra money’ adopting my son from foster care.

    I am not good at this saying ‘stuff I did for other people’ cause I feel like I am all ‘hey, look what I did’ which I am but really don’t mean it as a rub in anyone’s faces. gah. this is getting awkward. I am going to stop typing… now

  296. This is so great! We picked an “angel” to buy gifts for through church and I donate to Happy Bottoms since the thought of running out of diapers is horrifying.

  297. Well, since I can’t afford to do diddly squat this year (I was laid off on New Years Eve last year, Happy New Years to me! 😛 I couldn’t even tell anybody except for my hubby and son until Jan. 2, because I didn’t want to ruin New Years Day for them!) I am selecting a person a day over at http://www.dragcave.net and offering to breed a dragon for them off of my scroll. I can afford to breed pixels. Plus they are cool.

  298. I’ve coordinated Toys for Tots in my county for the past two years. (90% of the people can be entitled ass hats; it’s the 10% who really need/appreciate it that keeps me going.) I’ve also adopted a military family, gotten my Marine Corps League Detachment to adopt a military family and have donated toys & clothes to my work’s adopted family. I’ll probably donate to your night, night thingy too. I really don’t know when to quit. Merry Christmas.

  299. Awesome! My colleagues are doing a Secret Santa gift exchange. I hope I get my boss, and then I’ll give her some bees.

    I’m a teacher, and from following that link, I think I will introduce the read to feed program in my classroom. It is always good to start when they are young getting them to understand the joy of giving to others. We already read books from wegivebooks.org every day in our class.

  300. I love Heifer International! So excited that you support them too. I clicked through to the website and saw that you could donate for training and supplies for a community animal health worker. Since I’m a veterinarian, that was perfect for me! And I bought bees for my dad, whose hobby is beekeeping. Also, I’ve bought some presents for the local Angel Tree. I picked cards from two kids who wanted books–just like me when I was a kid. I’m so excited to go shop for books for them. I’m actually going to sneak out of a continuing education meeting tomorrow so I can hit a bookstore!

  301. I really love you (in a totally non-creepy way), Jenny and all the members of the Bloggess Army!!! Big kudos to the commenter who volunteers on a Crisis Line—I used to do that, too some years ago.

    You guys have me envious in the best way possible—I need to do my share of sharing the blessings too!!!

    Thanks for the llama!! I just donated a Project NightNight bag in honor of Jenny, the Bloggess.

  302. Usually I’m nice to people by not interacting with them since I have little patience but tonight we went to the awesome Lucky Dog Rescue Gingerbread Doghouse event and donated money for dog vaccinations, tests, etcetera. Technically, I guess that’s not something nice for another person but I think dogs are nice for people (if you’re not allergic) so I think it should count.

  303. I like to volunteer with Meals for the Elderly here in Angelo. It’s really neat to see the oldies and wish them a good day. I’m doing an event with them on Sunday. Bring my card to Old Fort Concho this weekend 😉 (In case you had plans of sending me one.) I hope you are coming!

  304. I’m caring for my beautiful mom who is having a double mastectomy next week. She is 77 and has very big boobs. She will miss them.

  305. I guess I really need to be nicer to people. Hopefully it’s not too late and the Dickens ghosts won’t be waking me up. I’m better at being nice to animals. I’ve donated to Turpentine Creek wildlife refuge — a true haven for big cats (and a few bears) in need.
    PS– I need Anonymous Coward #70 to come work the same miracle in my office.
    PPS– I think to be a saint you have to provide evidence of miracles and have followers. I’m setting up a shrine to James Garfield and will keep you posted.

  306. My 7 year old daughter and I have “adopted” two children off of a Salvation Army Angel Tree. We have spoiled them rotten in awesome gifts. Plus, my daughter decided for her birthday, which was on the 2nd, that she was going to ask her party guests to bring an unwrapped gift to donate to Toys For Tots.

    Love reading your blog, you are amazing! Thank you for keeping me smiling.

  307. I donated a Night Night bag again this year. I don’t have lots of extra cash, but I do have time so I help run a feeding program at my church one night a week where we feed 250-300 people a hot, home-style dinner.

  308. we live in colorado; a mom in florida, whom i’ve never met, was having trouble with finances. we connected through a secular parents group online. my kids picked out gifts for her kids and we got them sent off last week. it’s always nice to help a fellow mom just trying to do the best for her kids. 🙂

  309. Pretty much, I’m not killing little old ladies at Hancock Fabrics when I work… Does that count?

    On an up side, I am working to try and keep people positive on FighterFriendz, which is a fibromyalsia FB page where people with fibro come together to give support and/or bitch to people who understand what they are going through. the creator is an AWESOME chica, and you would like her 😀

  310. I am giving money to my friend Lot, who lives in the Philippines, who is in turn giving the money to some of the smaller islands in the Philippines that are not in the news and hence aren’t getting very much help yet.

    And I really enjoy reading your blog.