me: Is there any accent that I can use where “peculiar” and “tubercular” will rhyme?
Victor: I already regret asking this, but…why?
me: I’m trying to write a poem but I’m having problems with the meter. And the rhythm. And the rhyming.
Victor: Are you sure you’re writing a poem?
me: It’s more of a limerick really.
Victor: Limericks have to rhyme. That’s sort of the whole point of limericks.
me: I suppose it could be an essay. A very short, dirty essay.
Victor: Good luck with that.
PS. I finally finished my poem and I couldn’t get it to work as a limerick or an essay or anything else, so I changed it up completely but I still like it.
A limerick not dirty and a harpy not mean:
These are things that I’ve never seen.
A tumor for fun and a beautiful cyst:
These are things that just don’t exist.
A nipple, a knife, and something much worse:
These are the things that I have in my purse.