Where do you get the toys with the shit in them?

Most of the toy shelves are fairly empty, but there are still a few things you can pick up on Christmas Eve:

Oh, God.
Oh, God.

Nothing better than a shitting animal at Christmas.

“I POOP PEANUTS!” the little elephant says.  That’s because you don’t chew properly.

Also, I’m looking at the box and your kid is supposed to take the feces and feed it to your elephant again and again.  And he just keeps pooping!  It runs right through him, almost like diarrhea.  Because it is diarrhea.  Because you’ve given him dysentery from feeding him his own shit.  Merry Christmas!

Also available in Tigers!

I didn't even know tigers laid eggs.  THANKS, SCIENCE!
I didn’t even know tigers laid eggs. THANKS, SCIENCE!

PS. Victor says that “laying eggs” and “pooping eggs” are two different things.  Sorry.  I’m being anal.

PPS.  This toy is on the same aisle.  HOW IS THIS NOT SOLD OUT?:

Wanna feel old?  This movie was made 30 years ago.
Wanna feel old?  This movie came out 30 years ago.

101 thoughts on “Where do you get the toys with the shit in them?

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I thought my Christmas Eve couldn’t get any better than an adorable dyslexic vicar tweeting about wearing a Cossack, and then you posted this.

  2. Jenny, I love you. But Biff Tannen is also poop-related. Dude lands in a giant cart of it! I hope this isn’t the beginning of your coprophiliac stage….

  3. On the bright side, I now know how to say “I poop striped eggs!” in both French AND Spanish. I can only imagine this coming in handy some day…

  4. A friend’s then-toddler aged son was afraid of going to the bathroom, and he would run around yelling, “Poop coming! Poop coming!” I can only imagine what these toys would have done for him…instantly life scarring. Wishing everyone a safe and happy (peanut-poop free) holiday!

  5. Thank goodness my kids are way too old for that “shitty” toy! I hope that you bought the Biff action figure. BTW, I remember seeing that movie in the theatre when it first came out, and that didn’t make me feel old. Now, when I think back on the fact that I saw Star Wars in the theatre when it first came out, that’s when I feel old.

  6. On the bright side, I now know how to say “I poop striped eggs!” in both French AND Spanish. I can only imagine this coming in handy some day… (~ Sossity )

    Add multi lingual educator to the Bloggess’s achievements.

  7. Maybe I shopped at the wrong places for the grandkids

    Merry Christmas, Jenny..to you and your family and Beyonce and various stuffed dead things

  8. Ewww those are like the baby born things where the baby just pees when you feed it, instantly too, like how is that good for the baby? And then you have to go to the hassle of changing him/her… I worked out the easy way to stop that,don’t feed it!!! I’m guessing this tactic would work for this toy too…

    where would you keep the poop? you cant leave poop around when anyone can eat it you know!!!??

  9. Stupid pooping toys. Unfortunately for me, these toys would be endless entertainment for my smallest daughter; except for Biff. She has no idea who he is…. but she will!!! BTF is a house favorite for the adults. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

  10. all these years and I’ve gone without a Biff Tannen action figure?!? Suddenly, my life feels empty. goes to play with my De-Loreans to cheer myself back up (yes, I do have 2….evidence on my site…somewhere. I forget which day at the moment with all the renewed BTTF excitement in my head)

  11. Wow, apparently the Panda poops bamboo. OUCH!!! Also, I must point out that the literal translation of “petit tresors” is “small treasures”. WTF???

  12. Pssht, Catalonia has had shitting toys for centuries. The Caganer (or “the shitter”) is the greatest Christmas tradition ever. They have a figurine of a guy taking a big dump, and they hide it in the nativity scene. The children have to look for him.

  13. Can you eat the poop? That would be awesome. It would be kind of like a pez dispenser, just out the other end

  14. Yes, i feel old now. Thanks, but more importantly, 2015 is the year marty is supposed to have come to the future. Since there aren’t any flying cars, it’s time to start planning 80’s parties.

  15. Elephants really are pooping factories. The stuff they eat combined with a super inefficient digestion means that sometimes what goes in comes out in the same format. Someone threw a stuffed toy into the elephant enclosure at our zoo, and the baby ate it. The keepers found it and washed it off, completely intact.

  16. More importantly I would like to know when you and Victor are going to take a “cat bearding” photo and post it on your blog? It’s a new meme thing. Check it out on the internets.

  17. I am a proud owner of two pooping reindeer. I have owned them for several years, and my son LOVES them!! My mother is mortified whenever she sees them, but that is one of the primary reasons we keep them around, that and because The Boo loves them!!! wickedlaugh

  18. Oh man… I try to steer clear of stores for toys. We like to do the thrift shop thing. And then, even if it WAS a pooping toy, the kid wouldn’t even know… The poop wouldn’t have made it to the donation pile. Lolz. So, now it is just a toy with an ass cavern. Not sure that’s better tho…

  19. Kids toy’s are weird. I refuse to by my son any of these strange fad toys. He did get big foot slippers, though. Merry Christmas!

  20. Warning to fellow readers who think they are learning how to say poop in French: “mes petits trésors” means “my little treasures”. Poop in french is best translated as “merde” or “caca”.

  21. I, too, was delighted to learn how to say, “I poop striped eggs” in French. Alas, “My little treasures are strikeouts eggs” just doesn’t have the same je ne sais quoi. “Mes petits tresors sont des oeufs rayes” would make a dandy t-shirt, though (if you do one, I’m a 2x. Just sayin’).

    Happy, happy Christmas my dear friend whom I’ve never met!

    😀

  22. Thank you for the snorty laughter while we are uncelebrating. It is not a surprise to me those are left in the stores instead of given as gifts. I echo the basic sentiment of WTF, who is making the decision these are a good idea?

    Merry happy to you are yours, Jenny!

  23. I once had a wind-up chicken that walked and pooped malted milk balls as it trundled along. I hate malted milk balls, but I doubt I would have eaten them anyway.

  24. What is up with pooping toys!?! My daughter keeps asking me for a game called Doggy Doo, and I keep saying, “Oh, hell no!”
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008PQ4JPI/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=7002103185&ref=pd_sl_702rgqfvtm_b

    here’s the description –
    “This game is easy to play: just feed and “walk” your little pup. When you squeeze his leash he makes a hilarious gassy sound that gets louder and louder until plop. The first player to clean up after Doggie Doo three times wins the game. Doggie Doo comes with four pooper scoopers and teaches kids to clean up after their pets.”

    There’s no mention of feeding the poop back to the doggie, but you’ve got to reload him somehow, right?

  25. They also make a pooping panda. AND…they have a dog-walking BARBIE with a pooper scooper because the dog shits chicken nuggets. Or maybe they’re Tater Tots? Are these toys designed to introduce and perfect life skills?

  26. My daughter was obsessed with the pooping Barbie doll so guess what she got for Christmas. Now we have fake dog poop in the house.

  27. Caught 2nd Handed.. If I’m correct, I believe that company also makes Pop! Vinyls.. I love them! Have them make a vinyl of Jenny!!!!! I’d totally buy it!

  28. When I was young Naughty kids got coal in their stockings. Now its shitting animals. Santa has gotten a bit harsh….

  29. I nearly spit out my candy when you wrote you were being “anal”. Don’t ever change you clever girl. ☺

  30. Stinkeye (#37), you have forgotten to mention Caga Tió (translated: Poop Log), the log that Catalan children beat with a stick and sing a song to until it poops out the children’s gifts on Christmas Eve. I shit you not! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ti%C3%B3_de_Nadal
    Also, the caganer tradition has been spread to include caganers of famous celebrities. My husband and I have an Obama caganer that hilariously says “Yes, I can!” as he is pooping.

  31. The tiger poops “striped eggs” according to the description, but two thirds of the eggs are not, in fact, striped. False advertising!

  32. Elephants actively seek out and eat elephant poop because it is super nutrient rich because, as EveeGalla noted, they don’t have super efficient digestion. So the toy is actually kind of accurate? The more you know!

  33. I GOT A GEORGE MCFLY!!!!!!! I got a George McFly from my boyfriend, even though he KNOWS I’d easily dump him for McFly, and have proven this by asking Crispin Glover out on a date, twice, right in front of him.
    Really glad I didn’t get a Poopsy Pet (though now I know what to get each member of my family next year).

  34. I wonder if pooping toy gifts would make me the best aunt ever or The worst aunt ever. I have no kids, so I’m kinda hoping my siblings’ brood have mercy on me in my old age, so I’m gonna stay away from these controversial Caca toys.

  35. Just wanted to let you know my son LOVED the jellyfish aquarium. He thought it was pretty awesome

  36. I was in a bookshop last week buying a last-minute gift for my boys and on the counter there were two books: one called The Dinosaur Who Pooped Christmas, and the other called The Smelly Sprout. I expressed disbelief about the latter and received a stern look from the cashier. “It’s a children’s book,” she informed me, as though that explained everything. “It’s a best seller.” But of course it is.

  37. “Petit tresors” is french for “little treasures”, and that is not what anyone calls poop. Unless they’re really into shit. And that’s a whole other thing that probably shouldn’t be on a toy shelf either.

    Let’s get it right, toy people, the word is “merde”.

  38. Victor is wrong. My wife and I are farmers and chickens poop eggs. Eggs come out their butts through their colon. I have seen it. It is totally gross and amazing at the same time. Just thought you would want to know.
    Kestrel
    PS I’m a Virgo.
    PPS Our tiger however does not poop eggs.

  39. ” That’s because you don’t chew properly.”
    Have you not ever eaten peanuts? I don’t care how much or how carefully or how properly you chew them, unless the peanuts you ate were in the form of creamy peanut butter, you’re going to be pooping peanuts. Check it out.

  40. You’re not being anal, Jenny. Victor’s just being vaginal (or cloacal, if you wanna get really particular!)

  41. How extraordinary. I also found a toy that “comes with shit” (hooray?) at Toys R Us. This poo was plush and came with a scooper. For that…realistic…fun…um…

  42. My sister got my kids a Poopsie Pet last year. This year her kids got “Gooey Louie” from their Auntie. “Put your finger up his nose and try to pick a winner!”

  43. I’m for once glad I’m too poor to be in the toy isle. That popping shit would have made me flip some shit. What will they make next?

  44. Where can I buy one?! I have been trying to find the one with the unicorn that poops rainbows, but with no luck here in Canada.

  45. My kids currently argue over who gets to carry the “poop bucket” in the yard (seriously, I should record it for their teenage years), and that is the extent of the poop I am comfortable dealing with in this house. Why would I want a toy that poops?

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