Will a signed copy of my book one day be worth one million dollars? Almost probably.

So, I was asked to sign some collector copies of FURIOUSLY HAPPY for people who wanted a signed book but didn’t want to go to a signing and I said I’d do it, but then I got a draft of the signing page and it said something like, “This limited, signed, 1st edition has been specially bound” and it felt like it was missing something, so I scrawled “IN HUMAN SKIN” on the bottom and sent it back.  Then a month later I got to sign the actual books:

inhumanskin

I fucking love my job.

Lots of indie bookstores will have collector signed copies available so if you want one just check this list for your local store and then call or email to pre-order:

AL: Alabama Booksmith, Homewood * Capitol Book & News CO, Montgomery * Little Professor Book Center, Homewood
AZ: Antigone Books, Tucson  * Changing Hands Bookstore, Tempe * University Of Arizona Bookstore, Tucson
CA: Vroman’s Bookstore, Pasadena * A Great Good Place, Oakland * Alexander Book CO, San Francisco * Book Seller, Grass Valley * Book Shop West Portal, San Francisco * Books Inc, San Francisco * Bookshop Santa Cruz, Santa Cruz Chaucers Books, Santa Barbara * Copperfield’s Books, Sebastopol * Gallery Bookshop, Mendocino * Green Apple Books, San Francisco * Haight Booksmith, San Francisco * Kepler’s 2020, Menlo Park * Readers’ Books, Sonoma * Skylight Books, Los Angeles * Warwicks, La Jolla
CO: Book Shop of Fort Collins, Fort Collins * Bookies, Denver * Bookworm of Edwards , Edwards  * Boulder Bookstore * Tattered Cover Book Store, Denver
DC: Kramerbooks & Afterwords, Washington
DE: Browseabout Shop Inc, Rehoboth Beach
FL: Bookstore 1 Sarasota * Classic Bookshop, Palm Beach * Inkwood Books, Tampa * BookMark, Neptune Beach  * Vero Beach Book Center, Vero Beach
GA: A Cappella Books, Atlanta * Avid Bookshop, Athens * E Shaver Fine Books, Savannah * Eagle Eye Bookshop, Decatur * G J Ford Bookshop & Café, St Simons Island * Little Shop of Stories, Decatur
IA: Prairie Lights-Bookstore, Iowa City * Iowa Book, Iowa City
IL: Anderson’s Bookshop, Naperville * Book Cellar, Chicago *
Book Stall of Winnetka, Winnetka * Book Table, Oak Park *
City Lit Books, Chicago * Unabridged Bookstore, Chicago
KS: Raven Book Store, Lawrence
KY: Carmichael’s Bookstore, Louisville * Coffeetree Books, Morehead
The Morris Bookshop, Lexington
LA: Garden District Bookshop, New Orleans * Maple Street Bookshop, New Orleans * Octavia Books, New Orleans
MA: Odyssey Bookshop Inc, South Hadley
ME: Maine Coast Bookshop, Damariscotta * Sherman’s Books & Stationery, Boothbay Harbor
MI: Bookbug, Kalamazoo * Between the Covers, Harbor Springs * Forever Books, Saint Joseph * Horizon Books, Traverse City * Literati, Ann Arbor *
Mclean & Eakin Booksellers, Petoskey * Schuler Books & Music, Grand Rapids
MN: Magers & Quinn Booksellers, Minneapolis * Common Good Books, Saint Paul * University Minnesota Bookstore, Minneapolis
MO: Subterranean Books, Saint LouisThe Novel Neighbor, Saint Louis
MS: Fountain Books GreenwoodLe Muria Books, Jackson * Square Books, Oxford
NC: Quail Ridge Books & Music, Raleigh * Park Road Books, Charlotte Flyleaf Books, Chapel Hill * Malaprop’s Bookstore, Ashville * Regulator Bookshop, Durham
NH: Country Bookseller, Wolfeboro * Gibson’s Bookstore, Concord 
NJ: Word Bookstore, Jersey City
NM: Bookworks, Albuquerque * Collected Works Bookstore, Santa Fe
NY: Book Revue, HuntingtonWord Bookstore, Brooklyn * Oblong Books & Music, MillertonOpen Door Bookstore, SchenectadyPower House Arena, Brooklyn * The Golden Notebook, WoodstockStrand Bookstore, New York * The Northshire Bookstore
OH: Book Loft, Columbus * Joseph Beth, CincinnatiThe Bookshelf, CincinnatiBooksellers on Fountain Square, CincinnatiBooksellers at Austin Landing, Miamisburg * Jay & Mary’s Book Center, TroyLearned Owl, Hudson
OR: V J Books, Tualatin
PA: Penguin Bookshop, SewickleyTowne Book Center and Cafe, Collegeville
RI: Books on the Square, Providence
SC: Hub City Bookshop, Spartanburg
TN: Union Ave Books, Knoxville * Booksellers at Laurelwood, Memphis
TX: Brazos Bookstore, Houston *
UT: The King’s English Bookshop, Salt Lake CityDolly’s Bookstore, Park City
VA: One More Page, Arlington
VT: Everyone’s Books, Brattleboro   * Phoenix Books, Essex * Yankee Bookshop, Woodstock
WA: The Elliott Bay Book Company, SeattleVillage Books, Bellingham
WI: Books and Company, Oconomowoc
CAN: Raincoast Books, Richmond, BC

And you can preorder it online at Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, or if you’re in Canada, you can get it at Indigo.

And you may be saying to yourself, “But what if I already preordered?  Why am I being punished for being helpful and supportive?  WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO US, JENNY?” and I would say, first of all, stop yelling because you’re going to get us all fired.  And secondly? I’ve got your back, Little Ninja, because if you preordered and can’t make it to a book signing then just click right here to fill in your address and you will get (for free!) a signed bookplate that you can stick inside your book.  Last time my bookplates had Hamlet Von Schnitzel on them and that’s hard to top, but these have illustrations of the Midnight Raccoon Rodeo on them and they are better than tacos:

bookplateforfuriouslyhappy

You might be saying to yourself, “What is the Midnight Raccoon Rodeo?  Is this supposed to make sense to me?  STOP GIVING ME REFERENCES I DON’T YET GET, YOU WHORE” and I would say, “Calm your tits, y’all.  Calm all of your beautiful tits. Are you hungry right now?  Because you’re not yourself.  Go eat some cheesecake.  And then go listen to the sample of my audiobook where you can hear a tiny snippet of what the Midnight Raccoon Rodeo is all about.  You’ll have to get the book to find out how I actually lost both of my arms and if I ever got them back though.  That’s a teaser, btw.  Not a very good one if you’ve seen pictures of me with arms lately, but still.”

Here’s a picture of me signing hundreds of bookplates in spite of the fact that Hunter S. Thomcat insisted they were tiny pillows he needed to lay on while I was signing them.

Hunter: “Why are you writing on my pillows?  What are you even doing?”

furiouslyhappybookplates

FYI: A few of bookplates have weird marks from when the cats would grab at my pen while I was signing (because my cats are assholes who don’t understand professionalism) but whenever that happened I tried to make up for it by turning the errant squiggle into a small drawing of a dog’s face or curly fries, or a lower intestine.  Sorry.  I had to work with what they gave me.

So go preorder and then get your bookplate and then leave me a comment because I’ve heard a rumor I’ll be getting real copies of the book any day now and I’d love to give a few away as a small thank you for your incredible support.

Honestly, this book would never have happened without you.

So if people don’t like it, I’m blaming you.

814 thoughts on “Will a signed copy of my book one day be worth one million dollars? Almost probably.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Be prepared to be sued when certain folks (of either the raccoon or Republican persuasion) find out it is not really human skin. They will be sorely disappointed. I know I am, and I am not even Republican. (I may be a little part Raccoon.)

  2. I read this post too quickly and when I saw the long list of cities, I was like, “Fuck, she’s doing a ton of signings!” And then I scanned that list in hopes that perhaps you had added Philadelphia to your plans, and I was like, “Fuckin’ A, she added Collegeville!” But then I slowed down and read it correctly and I was like, “Fuck, she’s STILL not coming to Philly.” Highs and lows, Jenny. Following this blog is like riding a fucking rollercoaster.

  3. Can I ask about that kitchen you have? It looks like it’s exclusively used to house wine. And taxidermy. But mostly wine.

    (It’s a bar. It used to be a coat closet, I think but the people who lived here before us realized that in Texas we have no need for coats and lots of need for booze. I think they have an excellent point. ~ Jenny)

  4. I just ordered a bookplate, but now feel guilty that you have to sign them all

    (Don’t feel guilty! I already signed them. 🙂 And I was happy to to thank you guys for being so incredible. ~ Jenny)

  5. I preordered MONTHS ago, when you first announced the book. Today I signed up for bookplates. I’m hoping I get a custom one with cat additions/modifications because that would be the BEST EVER. Also, I have two copies of your first book, and am bummed you’re not doing a signing close to me like you did before. But I suppose I’ll live. ::sigh::

  6. I’ve got it preordered at Amazon… So am I the only one who was confused by the book plate signup form. They asked for “age month” and “age year” as required fields. I’m assuming they wanted April/1978 as the answers, but honestly, it could have also been August/36, and in “I’m 36 in this month, which is August”. Words mean things, people. Words mean things.

    (I tested it this morning and did the exact same thing. Great minds. Also, I asked if they could just take off the age thing but apparently you have to be 14 or older in some States to sign up for this sort of thing so it’s required. You can just make up a date though if you don’t want to share your real age. I’m 107. ~ Jenny)

  7. Aww, no bookplates for people not in the US? Oh well, still can’t wait to read this 🙂

    (Not yet, at least. You can get it in Canada but if you’re outside of there your best bet is to have it sent to family in the States so they can pass it on to you. ~ Jenny)

  8. I can’t wait to read your 2nd book! I also put on my family calendar the date of one of your signings that’s in St. Louis in November. My husband tried to say he needed to go on a business trip and I was like “I want to meet Jenny freaking Lawson!” And neither one of us knew your middle name was ‘freaking’ until then.

  9. I hope I get a small intestine squiggle crossing my fingers …also, I’d love to win a copy!

  10. My cat also loves pens. When I was a TA, I had to be extra careful when I was grading. One day I wasn’t (I thought she was asleep in my bedroom), Luna pounced, and I inadvertently crossed off the last page of a student’s paper. In red ink. Whoops. I ended up writing an arrow pointing to it with a note that said “Sorry. I loved your paper, but my cat didn’t.” The student looked at me very strangely when she got the paper back. 😀

  11. Oh, I hope I can make it to a book signing! You seem to, wisely, be skipping the state of Iowa so I’ll just have to drag a friend on a road trip, and won’t that just be interesting? I hate traveling with people, they always seem to fuck up perfectly good trips. Huh, I’ll have to be selective. How do you determine the best person to road trip to see an awesome woman who writes about and owns taxidermy animals, makes you laugh, makes you cry and inspires you every single day??? Oh the dilemma you have created for me!

  12. Love you and all your asshole cats, they are just trying to make the world interesting.

  13. You are fucking nuts in the best way. If I asked you to sign my kindle with a sharpie, would you?

    (It’s actually my wife’s kindle but I’m sure she would find it hilarious)

  14. Do you remember that time that you sent me a bookplate for the books I had donated for the Cinco de Meowo/Fido Fiesta fundraiser for the Cheaha Humane Society/League of Animal Welfare? But then my cat made my dog eat it and you had to send me another one?

    Refresher here: http://psb1969.blogspot.com/2015/03/i-helps.html

    Cats hate your bookplates, apparently. Why is that?

  15. Maybe it’s because I’m a Virgo or maybe I’m a little more OCD than I care to admit buuutt…WHY do all the stacks of bookplates have the rubber bands off center?? How can this not be bothering anyone else?!? This just cannot stand! I must put together a team to come over and fix this immediately. I’ll be setting up a gofundme page for this massive endeavor just as soon as I can breathe normally again…

    (Ha! It’s because when I would put them in stacks they would get wobbly so I had to make then off-center so I could stack them like lincoln logs. ~ Jenny)

  16. I have pre-ordered and looking forward to meeting
    you at the Toronto book signing! Squeee!

  17. I’m so glad that you seem to be feeling more like “yourself” (whoever that is, at least she’s smiling!)

  18. Thank you for the Laughs. Every single day you make me laugh. It doesn’t hurt that your audio book lives on my car speakers either. Thank you for being you Jenny!

  19. I am so excited for your book to come out! I have told many about the amazingness that was your first book, and I have already told them all to Pre-Order this one. You’re amazing, don’t ever change!

  20. I am about to order on Amazon — and I would love a bookplate, with or without an errant cat-mark 🙂

  21. My tits are as calm as they can get in the face of this book release!! but thanks for the beautiful part. I ducking live you. You just need to know that. Also I really hope I get a bookplate with interpretive cat squiggle art LOL I solemnly swear not to sell it on ebay.

  22. I put Furiously Happy on my wishlist. I’m hoping to pre-order in the next couple weeks. And just like last time, I’ll order a bookplate in case I can’t make it up to PDX for your book signing. Hopefully just like last time I’ll make it to the signing anyway. Except this time I’m not cross stitching a rainbow-shitting unicorn the whole drive up there and while trying to eat lunch in the mall and while riding the MAX and while walking around, lost, looking for the bookstore, and during your entire presentation thingy. I have to draw the line somewhere.

  23. Yes, that’s exciting and all because I’m ready for some marathon reading. What I need to know is: What’s all those thingies in the bowl?

    (Scrabble tiles for CrapScrabble. It’s the best made up game ever. ~ Jenny)

  24. I am going to your book signing in MN and if you need a place to stay while you’re here we have a spare room and it only has one small taxidermied squirrel in it named Roy. Do not worry, he will protect you, he has a gun.

  25. I pre-ordered your book and am excited to be able to get a book plate. If this book is anything like your first one, I will be buying at least five more copies for my various friends and family that need it in their lives.

  26. I want a book plate that one of the cats helped with, please. I want my cats to be jealous of your cats’ ability to sign book plates.:)

  27. I preordered from the store where you’ll be in Houston. Can I still get a bookplate? I love you so much, but not in a creepy stalker way.

  28. It actually looks like that page just says, “Jenny Lawson has been specially bound in human skin.” Which is actually not all that special or weird.

  29. So excited to read your second book! No signings or stores in Connecticut. 🙁 but then I saw Barnes and Noble is on there so at least I can get one there, yay! If you’re going to do a give away, I’d love a copy.

  30. Not one indie bookstore in Maryland?! Wondering what’s wrong with ours, I’ll have to ask the nice ladies at the store two blocks from work. And damn! I pre-ordered a Kindle edition.

  31. I’ve converted my wife and sister-in-law to your devoted disciples. My friends want to make up their own minds, but are coming around.

  32. I preordered the Kindle version because then I can read it instantly, but I still want a bookplate. I might just start a collection of framed bookplates for my ebooks, because I definitely have a few of those.

  33. Hunter apparently doesn’t understand celebrity-ism … or maybe he does, in a Warhol kind of way?

    And I’m kind of sad about Idaho not being on your list, although I already won a signed copy (thank you) and finished it (brilliant), so I can’t complain. Except there’s no reference to human skin. That would be kind of awesome. I take what I can get.

  34. So actually the “Just kidding about the skin.” IS pretty messed up and unappetizing…

  35. Well, I’m going to want to buy a special book, a regular book, an audiobook and would like to get an in person feline inspired intestinal squiggle. Will your publisher let you tour with a therapy cat? I will gladly trade some more weasel sized Hogwarts scarves if you can make this happen.

  36. Wow! That is a lot of book plates. I just finished your first book and it was freaking awesome.

  37. Of COURSE no books in Connecticut. Now that I’m thinking of the independent bookstores in CT (which number, um, maybe 4?) I can’t think of one that would consider stocking a book with a dead raccoon on the cover, never mind a signed version of same. Sigh. Guess I’ll have to take the train to NYC again.

  38. No stores in Indiana??? Do you hate us (meaning me!!). SIGH, that’s OK Jenny. I’ll just add to the global warming and drive to a store in Illinois or Montana (no bookstores there either!). Holy Crap! You have only 35 states listed. What has Hunter done to you? West Virginia was the 35th state in 1863. You only need to move forward in you time machine 152 years. Easy Peasy.

    I’ve put off visiting my brother in Phoenix until your book comes out. Plus it is hot as blazes there this time of year. Plus, plus I am SO looking forward to reading it. 🙂

  39. I was so looking forward to meeting you on your book tour in Wichita. And then found out I have to attend an out of town wedding that weekend. This bookplate makes up for about 7% of that sadness, but it’s better than nothing!

  40. Well, being from a completely foreign (to you) country, I filled it in anyway, putting the COUNTRY in the state box. So wah. Please please please send me one? I won’t even mind if your cats peed on it.

  41. YAY! Pre-ordered the book as soon as it was available. And signed up for the bookplate now!

    THANK YOU, JENNY. Seriously. Thank you. For being you. And being willing to share all of you so the rest of us who aren’t so brave don’t feel so alone.

  42. How about if you come here instead of me trying to talk myself into going to NYC and not have a breakdown. I have cats… 3 boys… they will cuddle you. A lovely couch from which we can make an excellent cushion fort…. and wine… and vodka… I’ll love you forever and ever. We can play exploding kittens (cards, no real explosions of the kitten variety). Aaah a girl can dream.

  43. I pre-ordered your book like 2 years ago….well, it feels like it anyway. I can’t wait to get it!

  44. I preordered but Amazon hasn’t charged my card yet… I have since gotten a new debit card. Now that I remember that I will go update that shit because I will be real sad if I don’t get my book. In fact, I need to get LPTNH back from the friend I loaned it too.

    Also, I thought you should know I have started a metal animal garden. It started with my chicken Jorge and then my boyfriend got me a cat and a pig to go with it. He knew the sentiment to Jorge and thought he needed friends. Last year, they all wore Christmas hats. He has no idea what he started. hugs

  45. So excited for this to come out! I already pre-ordered, but I’m pre-ordering this version too, so someone I know (and love!) is getting your book and bookplate as a gift! Yay for everyone!

  46. Dying for your second book, mostly to win arguments with my husband. I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “Well, Jenny Lawson agrees with me! It’s in her book! Sick bowls are a THING,” while holding my kindle. Although…he might grow suspicious when I start holding up a book with Rory on the cover.

  47. Oh, I am so excited!!! I preordered and am counting the days till it comes. Squeee!!! I want to be furiously happy

  48. Awesomeness! I pre-ordered and am looking forward to getting this book. When we moved into our house and put a pet door in the back, I had a dream one night where I got up and found two raccoons dancing on my dining table. That has not happened. But it totally could! We have since had about six baby opossums come thru the pet door as well as a cat who looks a lot like Hunter come in and adopt us. We did have a raccoon in the attic who dropped into the hall from the pull down attic door. Good times, I tells ya!

  49. loved the first book even used it last year as one of my book clubs reading selection. maybe for this book we could get you to one of our meetings. we love special guests. and wine. we always have lots of wine!! xoxo

  50. It’s an awesome day, y’all! Book plates, raccoons, rodeos, cheesecake, rubber bands, cats, errant cat squiggles, and wine!! What more could a person want? 🙂

  51. OMG, I already pre-ordered, but my sedated tits and I will be so, SO happy to get an advanced copy. In fact, I don’t think my tits will be truly calm unless I get one.

    WHY DO YOU WANT MY BREASTS TO BE HYPER?!

    (I’ll keep my pre-order, and if I get an advance copy, I will a) blog a glowing review, and b) give the copy I paid for to a friend, so her tits may also be calm. Because that is what friendship is all about: reading, Jenny Lawson, and restful breasts. Breastfuls, even. I’ll stop saying things now.)

  52. Clearly Oklahoma is an asshole because it is NOT ON THE LIST. Also if I send you some human skin, could you bind up one of those books specially for me? Thanks! ♥

  53. I pre-ordered “Furiously Happy” from B&N and submitted a bookplate request. I also plan to order a signed book from Powell’s when Jenny is there in November. Life is good.

  54. I pre-ordered for my Nook. Can I still get a book plate? I can put it on my Nook cover.

    (Totally. ~ Jenny)

  55. I just jumped up and down and told my husband I preordered a hard cover copy earlier this morning before reading this. He laughed and said “Oh yeah, another couple week long commute to work with you giggling in the passenger seat and telling me to shut up when I ask what’s funny.” Then I told him I ordered a signed plate and he was like…WTF WHY. Sometimes I just don’t think he understands.

  56. Preorder. Bookplate requested. Hope your cats ass sat on mine. This will ensure my cats like the book too.

  57. Can’t wait to read this book! No stores by me on the list, thank god for Amazon. Thanks for being you Jenny 🙂

  58. took me three tries to complete the bookplate form because i’m so excited (or possibly just inept at completing forms.) when it came to age year i typed in 64 as in 1964. it rejected and i thought “hey! the computer knows i’m really only 51!” then i realized…OH, 1964! then there was a problem with my email address format. what do they expect from someone who was born in 64, is 51 and can’t type for sh*t? i hope i get an extra squiggle for the effort…

  59. Best. Signing Page. EVER!! Aspercreme is good on the strained writerly hands, btw.

    I never realized how BIG Hunter is — he could seriously be El Gato Grande’s brother. She is HUGE, and always, always hungry. I thought all the jokes about fat, always hungry orange cats were just jokes until I owned one. When she was younger she ate rocks. And nuts and bolts. If it fit in her mouth, she ate it!

  60. Thank you for doing the book plate! I was bummed I was going to be out of town when you come to Seattle

  61. Just put in my order for the kindle. I wish I could get a hard copy but with the arthritis in my hands I can’t read a book very long unless it is on kindle. I hope I am still able to get a bookplate. I will proudly display it on my kindle if I can 🙂

  62. Do I have to pay extra for a bookplate with cat hair stuck to it? And are you giving Hunter S. Thomcat a cut of the proceeds?

  63. About 4 weeks to go! Been waiting for the end of September for so long I almost had to find a “distract me while I wait” book but was afraid I’d end up being caught in the middle of something else. Can’t wait to read it, then loan it out, get it back and read it again 🙂

  64. I think we all would prefer one that is signed by you AND Hunter. A SPECIALER limited edition, as it were.

  65. Hi Jenny, I preordered your book as soon as you told us it was done and I will be delighted beyond measure to get a signed bookplate for it. Of course I will come to see you in Toronto, but I am hoping to get a bookplate that has a intestinal squiggle ( looking like an intestine, not MADE by an intestine). As I have said before, I love you in a NCW (non-creepy way). My only sadness is that I didn’t end up as your neighbour or your college friend because then I could love you in real life instead of in a fan/idol way. Probably I didn’t end up as your neighbour or college buddy because I was born in Canada and I’m older than you and the only state I ever lived in was Arkansas (for a whole year) and not Texas.

  66. Thank you so much for the signed bookplate option! I was going to order a signed copy from a local bookstore (because I love local bookstores–they’re little slices of heaven waiting for you to discover them that one day you WALK down the street instead of driving by in a blur, probably because you forgot where you parked your car, but the reason isn’t important as the welcoming smell of pages that beckon you to far-off places both real and wish-they-were-real (looking at you, Hogwarts!)), but there weren’t any in my half of the state. I literally had my mouth open to yell at the screen, “Work with me a little,” and then I had to shut it again because you did. You read my mind. And now I’m wondering why I didn’t get one for your first book and then I remembered that I was too impatient to wait for it to arrive and got it on the Kindle. This just confirms my previous inclination to dislike digital books. Easier to carry when you can’t possibly leave the house with less than five, but it kills the experience. I love trees, but I need paper. Sorry this ended up being so long. I don’t even have some witty way to tie this all in, so I’m just going to stop now. Sorry it’s weird.

  67. OMG the cat doodles just make it that much better. Better than my beloved Blue Bell and breakfast tacos, combined (but not eaten together, even I think that is wrong!)

  68. Can’t wait to get my hands on this. I’ve read “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” 3 times now because it’s just hysterical. Love the blog, too. Thanks for keeping like random and very entertaining, Jenny!

  69. According to Amazon, I purchased the book in April. So I’ve signed up for my bookplate! I can not wait. My poor rural mail lady is going to hate me for awhile.

  70. Oh my gosh, seeing all those bookplates that need to be signed makes me want to have a minor panic attack. And makes me think after signing, oh, 317 or so of those, if I was you I’d say, “Fuck it” and I’d just start drawing boobs or something. A penis would be fun but they’re harder to draw and I have no artistic skills. Boobs are easy ’cause you just draw two circles and put a dot in the middle. Can I specially request a bookplate with just boobs on it? And your initials. Because otherwise how would I convince people it was really from you? Thanks Jenny. Love you…

  71. I am so excited about the book and can’t wait to read it!!! However your publishers, promoters or whatever they are still have something against Nevada. Not a single store is listed PLUS they never let you come here for signings 🙁

  72. I was having a shitty morning, and reading this turned me around. Thanks!! Ordering my bookplate now. Honestly, I was on the bus wishing I had your new book to read and make me laugh, and minutes later I saw your tweet.

  73. I have an incredibly creepy comment to make…. the picture of you signing and holding the orange cat. LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DAUGHTER.

  74. For some reason, reading this post makes me almost furiously happy. I don’t know why. You are a kook! I mean that as a compliment!!

  75. You. Are. The. Best.
    I have Rory at my house and have been waiting to share a picture of what he’s up to because I want it to be EPIC. I will make it happen.

    I can’t wait for this book! I have a signed book plate copy of the first one that was almost destroyed at the hands of my kids. I luckily saved it just in time and they got a good talking to while I tried hard not to cry. Can’t destroy my best friend’s book! 🙂

  76. I am dying for your book to be out OMG RIGHT NOW. I can’t even tell you. We’ll see whether I can master my nerves enough for the book signing that’s relatively near me!

  77. Fist thing. I tried to type first and fist is what I got. The real first sentence was supposed to say:
    First thing: You live in Texas and we’ve only got one bookstore to work with! I live relatively close to Houston so not so bad for me, but what about the rest of the Texas minions? You’re making people brave Houston traffic for you. But I guess it’s sort of like a test, are you brave enough, a repsonsive driver, a psycho? Anyway, I am super excited about the new book. The second thing: I’ve been staring at the screen for about ten minutes. I CANNOT remember what the second part was. I got distracted by psycho Houston traffic. I’ll get back to you.

  78. Why do you have no love for Kansas City?? We have jazz, we have BBQ, we have a much higher quotient of weird people than St. Louis. I checked. C’mon!!!

  79. Quick! Send a copy to Harvard and keep the “They have books bound in human skin” story in the news! (And next time, you should add that your signature was written in human blood, just to make things extra-special. g)

  80. I would LOVE to have a copy for you to sign when you are in Dayton, OH. I’ll be getting the ebook as soon as I can, but I need a hard copy for the signing. (Don’t worry if you don’t chooses me. I will certainly buy a copy at the signing for you to sign.)

  81. hahaha, human skin… Classic Jenny. 😉
    Pre-ordered way long ago, and now just ordered a book plate! You are fantastic- thanks for keeping me laughing.

  82. I preordered months ago and CANNOT WAIT to get the book and now book plate!!!! Oh its just to much! I have to track down my copy of “Let’s pretend this never happened” as I leant it to a friend and she has not returned it(I want to read it again before the new one comes out). She may owe me a bottle of wine and sweet treats to go with it after all this time she has had it. Your new one will be going with me to Key West for reading at the beach. Does Rory need to go to Key West as well? I could take him to…..oh geez all sorts of fun places down there!! Oh the anticipation is killing me.

  83. I’m so pleased to see you do actually have both arms, but I’m not sure your hands will ever be the same after signing all those bookplates.
    I’d like to get the audiobook, but if this book is anything like your first, I could only listen to it in the privacy of my own home, or be arrested for disturbing the peace for laughing uncontrollably. Of course it could happen with the physical book as well, since I might also get into trouble for insisting on reading passages aloud to whoever happens to be nearby.
    Looking forward to seeing you!

  84. I love it when I get to support our local independent bookstore – THANK YOU!!! I’m really excited. I can’t wait to inappropriate-laugh at all the horrible things you deal with every day. Is that flattering?

  85. Thanks! I pre-ordered a copy for my mom for X-mas. But since I’ll have the book for month before that can I read it first? Or is that poor book gift etiquette?

  86. I’m with Daddy Scratches in that I CANNOT believe you are going to DC, NYC and Boston and BLOWING PHILLY OFF. We are literally ON THE WAY from DC to NYC. Do you not know us? We already have a complex. You do not want to face the wrath of Philly. We have a whole museum dedicated to medical oddities and we throw snowballs at Santa. Where is our love Bloggess?

  87. I am so excited for the new book. I have already marked my calendar when you visit Arizona. Hopefully I will be able to see you.

  88. Oh my gosh Oh my gosh Oh my gosh!!! I’m going to get a signed book plate! You are the very very very best. Hope you had a chance to ice your hand. Or are you sill signing even now?

  89. That is a lot of signing. Also a lot of wine. Really looking forward to this book. Thanks for writing it.

  90. I love that you’re signing bookplates in what appears to be the wine cellar. I have an advanced copy of your book from the publisher. Does that qualify for a bookplate? (And I know what happened to your arms, and I think everything between the covers of this book is hilarious and the kind of honest that comes from the marrow, and necessary and needed).

  91. Either you are much smaller than I imagined or your orange tabby is fucking gigantic. Looking forward to the arrival of my book, hoping for the aforementioned tabby’s anointment.
    Thank you, for just being you.

  92. I preordered when preordering started being an option. And now I just requested a bookplate… Not sure why you care how old I am though. What if I didn’t want you to know? Would I be disqualified if I put the wrong birthdate in?

  93. I pre-ordered so long ago it’s like my Amazon page is just teasing me now…it’s almost September, right!?
    I have a bookplate for Let’s Pretend… and just requested for Furiously Happy. YAY JENNY!

  94. I just wanted to say a friend of mine got me your first book after the birth of my son, and it helped me laugh through some tough times. I’ve been reading your blog ever since so it’s really been the gift that keeps on giving! So thank you for existing, sharing your stories, and keeping it real weird. Super excited about your new book, hope to make it to your MN signing.

  95. Book plates! Squee!!

    And thank you, thank you, thank you. Give your dear hands a wax bath and some TLC.

  96. Ugh!! You aren’t coming to Idaho… Not that I blame you. Also, I preordered when you first announced the book. So, I signed up for a bookplate (Squee!!!), Im hoping for one that Hunter S sat on, Or Ferris…. Im not picky! Or squiggly… Im so excited!!!

  97. cats would be delighted to know that they’d made a task more difficult for you… if they cared, lol. Can’t wait to read the book!

  98. I can’t even imagine the hand cramps from signing all those book plates. You are awesome.

  99. Oh, I fucking love you! I was already pulling out my maps, compass and highlighters trying to figure out which indie shop was closest to me. Then, because I was sooo distracted by the road trip I was mow being forced to take, I finally read the words “bookplate… shipped… FREE!” Well, stuff me full of happiness and call me taxidermied!! Don’t get me wrong, I truly want to meet you and get my book signed in person and all, but that anxiety thing… ya, I get it. Not joke. That shit sucks!!! I might be able to swing it if it was closer, but a long road trip would only add to the fodder that feeds my panic. I would still go, but then I would be incoherent in my speech, you would wonder why they let me out of my lock down, security would be called…. it would be all bad. So, with this scenario in mind, PLEASE, include Sacramento, CA on your tour next time. Please?!? (Yes, I said next. High hopes of taxidermied cat ghost stories abound over here!) And thank you, thank you, a billion times thank you for aiding in my avoidance of could potential be a newsworthy public display of humility and “oh-holy-shit-what-fuck-is-she-doing”-ness. New word. Don’t question.

    Thanks again! You rock!

  100. Maybe it’s just me, but Midnight Racoon Rodeo sounds like the name of the band that would open for your second Dr. Pants Bathroom Concert. If, Dr. Pants still did touring and stuff.

    Also, I pre-ordered the book but if the past is any indication, they’ll make me buy another copy at the bookstore when I come for the signing (which is fine because I have at least 2 people I want to gift the book to) so I ordered the bookplate as a contingency in case I can only get my “purchased at the venue” copy signed.

  101. Why does this make me think that your hand must be curled like a stuffed raccoon? That’s dedication. Audio book preordered. I want people at stop lights to watch me snort coffee out my nose as I laugh. Can’t. Wait.

  102. I will come see you on your tour. With my pre-ordered book. That you will sign. On my birthday.

  103. Furiously happy that I could order a book plate to go with the book I ordered as a bday present for myself!

  104. Yay! I was sad that you weren’t coming to Charlotte on the tour this time (I went to the signing last time and was so happy I cried afterwards and my husband thought I was even crazier than usual) but now I can at least get a bookplate! Now to count down a couple of paydays until I can pre-order! Husband insists we pay the power bill first. He doesn’t understand about priorities.

  105. Jenny, I would love to receive the new book in any way possible. I can’t order it right now because…. Well because of lots of reasons…. For example, my mom sent me a $50 for my birthday, and I immediately went and spent it at Aldi’s. That’s where we are at right now…. Birthday money gets spent on food. For Christ’s sake Alice, send me a book. 205 Kingsmill 93rd. Cary NC. 27511

  106. It’s getting close. All the best on your book signing tour and Thank You for all you do.

  107. I’m so glad I didn’t pre-order! You also let me know where there is a real NON-Chain bookstore not too far from me! Whoo-hoo! Thanks, Jenny.

  108. I can’t wait to read this book…although I guess I’ll have to, won’t I? Or invent a time machine.

    Also, my 85 lb. dog just crawled into my lap and started licking my face because for some reason he thinks that typing on a tablet means I’m angry. I guess maybe I’ve been a little too frustrated at games on here before.

  109. Wait. Why would people NOT want go to a signing? Do they not understand that You, in all Your Magnificence, will be there? Looking forward to meeting you in Cincinnati!

  110. Ooh is the audiobook out too? Or still in the works? Loved that first audiobook I was laughing out loud on the plane and gettting some strange looks. Had to go buy the book too for the pictures and think I may have to do the same with this one!

  111. I finally convinced myself I was going to silence my social anxiety & attend your book signing (instead of chickening out like last time. I gave myself a panic attack just thinking of going alone) but then my closest friend told me her baby shower is that day & now I am ditching once again.
    One day i’ll attend a book tour…one day.
    I’m also going to surprise one of my friend’s with a signed bookplate since she just discovered your work and is hooked !!

  112. I read the post but didn’t see where you said how you’d be deciding how to give away the free copies of your book. If you wanted to send one to a poor writer in California I wouldn’t kick it out of bed (I’m sure that’s how that phrase goes).

  113. I am so unbelievably excited for your new book, Miss Jenny!!!! I know it’s going to be fantastic. You have such a wonderful, funny, and honest way of writing and I really hope my fiction can be half as good as your reality. Thank you for showing this anxiety filled, depression leaning l, weirdo that it’s not only okay, but awesome to embrace the weird. Xo

    Also, a free signed book would be awesome, so if you want to, you can send me one. Xo

  114. Yay! I preordered and signed up to get my bookplate, but I just wanted to say thank you for not only offering us a new book, but as a (former) Vermonter, it was awesome to see a bookstore from where I grew up be one of the lucky few to get autographed copies! It honestly makes me want to get another copy.

  115. I can’t decide what impresses me most: the size of that freakin’ wine rack, that giant bowl of Scrabble tiles or those stacks and stacks of signed (squee!) book plates.

  116. Oh please I need to be randomly selected for one of your books. You are the best part of everyday for me. I love your writing, your cats, your family, your very being.

  117. Yay! I’m getting a bookplate for my pre-ordered book! Now for the age-old question: “Which comes first, the book or the plate?”

  118. I’m still planning on coming to a signing but I have to get new tires for my truck and hope a blizzard doesn’t strike.

  119. I was all excited, deciding that illustration needs to be my very first tattoo, but the Baudelaire’s comment 118 has disturbed me.

  120. Pre-ordered the kindle version ages ago and will happily stick the bookplate on the cover of my kindle. Classes it up!

  121. I ordered the Kindle version and several hard copies for me and my friends. THANK YOU for once again offering bookplates. You’re the best! Can’t wait to read the new book!

  122. I preordered a while back, so I am happy there will be bookplates (I have one for Let’s Pretend).
    PS: I also live in Texas and found no need for a coat closet, so I turned it into a wine/liquor cabinet!

  123. I ordered the Kindle version and several copies copies for me and my friends. THANK YOU for once again offering bookplates. You’re the best! Can’t wait to read the new book…

  124. If I order the audio book do I get the autographed plate? I listened to your excerpt and I love your voice – great story telling. And really because my husband hates reading books but listens to them all the time.

  125. I pre-ordered on April 1st – so thank you thank you thank you for the free book plate!! Especially now that I find out there’s not a single damn store near me. But what do I expect living this thug-life out in the boonies? I’m so super stoked Furiously Happy delivery is drawing near, I’m re-reading Let’s Pretend to pre-game 🙂

  126. I’d love to win one! I’ll buy one if I don’t win of course, smart hubby may buy me one also. Then I’ll have 3! I’ll check each for a bookplate or squiggle and I’ll be devastated if there’s no bookplate. Then I’ll resort to lying on the floor, my sad place. Inevitably the dog will join me and snuggle. So at the very least, I’ll get doggie snuggles. Still winning I think.

  127. I’m definitely getting your book when it comes out. I wanted to bring a copy with me when we go on our cruise in a couple of weeks. Mainly so I could field questions near the ship’s pool about why I was reading a book with a crazed raccoon on the cover. Unfortunately, the release date is AFTER I get back from the cruise. Can’t bring the book with me without a time travel device and I misplaced my TARDIS. I still have my Fez, though. Fezzes will always be cool even if my wife won’t let me wear it on the cruise.

  128. Can I still get a bookplate if I preordered a Kindle copy????? I’m so modern. Thanks Jenny. I’ll stick it on the inside of my Kindle cover, okay?

  129. can’t wait to read the new book, loved meeting you last time around in Paramus, NJ

  130. Maybe Hunter S Thomcat is trying to sabotage the signing because he’s mad he’s not on the cover of a book yet.

  131. Pre-ordered the audio AND I ALREADY HAVE THE PRE-PUB!!! (sorry for the yelling; I’m still ridiculously happy…furiously happy? about that). I took your first book on audio with me on a trip to MO (national doll convention) so you would be with me. You made the miles fly. Can’t wait for the new audio!!

  132. So after a couple of total craptasitc days I was totally excited to have a chance to get a bound in human skin book only to see that my wonderful state of North Dakota has no booksellers that will have one for me to purchase. That makes me a bit sad. I was hoping to ad it to my distinguished library full of comic books and Anne Rice novels cause I am a grown up. 🙂 maybe I’ll have to settle for a preorder and a book plate (hopefully with a picture of a lower intestine!)

  133. And Nevada isn’t on the list? But.. I want a signed copy! Not a bookplate but a real signed one, so someday I can be famous for having something you touched! It will give me warm fuzzies and then I can put it in my will for a favorite grandchild who will end up filthy rich because they have it. I’d put it on a pedestal inside a locked acrylic box so nobody’s filthy fingers will touch it and maybe even have an Indiana Jones type of security system where crazed monkeys will attack if someone opens the box… yep, I can envision this! Only one thing missing.. a signed copy!

  134. SADFACE. I can’t pre-order anything until I get off the unemployed list. Also, Vegas never gets any visits or cool signed books.

    (On a side note, if I were preordering, I’d specifically request one of the cat-prompted-doodling bookplates. Because cats rule. And doodling rules. And books rule. The combo is made of win.)

  135. I’ve been meaning to pre-order this forever but kept forgetting, and now I feel like I’ve been rewarded for procrastinating. I look forward to receiving my totally-not-really-bound-in-human-skin-winkwink edition in September.

  136. Love you Jenny! Pre-ordered in April. Just ordered a bookplate. Hope to make it to the Dallas signing. I think your cats are more helpful than my dogs. My dogs just sleep on the desk and don’t help at all.

  137. So I’m feeling conflicted: you ARE doing a reading near me, but given what I’m aware of re your anxieties I’m thinking “well, should I pre-order a book but NOT go, so there will be not as many people in the room?!”

  138. LOL, I totally read: “Will signed a copy…” and I thought: “Will Wheaton? I know she has a pic of him collating pages, but why would HE sign a book written by HER, and why would HIS signature make it worth a million bucks? I mean, sure, it’s Will signing one of Jenny’s books so it’ll be rare, so maybe, but a MILLION? Like when we run out of trees and everything is digital maybe? I dunno.” and then I saw the human skin thing and that explained EVERYTHING, since I’m currently FINALLY reading your first book, I’m SHOCKED that it’s not specifying “vagina skin” because, my god, I’ve never read the word “vagina” so many times in my life, and I’ve studied anatomy and physiology though not for gynecology, so really, my frame of reference is probably off. I really need more coffee.

  139. First I was sad because I live in the most uncool state in the union (that would be CT); but then I was elated because I pre-ordered copies of your book and now I get signed bookplates with drawings of intestines on them. Score!

  140. I am super excited about the book plate which will make my 40th birthday gift even better! Thank you!

  141. I preordered your book from Amazon Smile and I can’t wait to get it. Thank you for the option of ordering a bookplate for the book. I would love one that Hunter helped you sign, that would be so awesome!

  142. Pre-order and book plate ordered. At my age, I’ll forget I ordered both and it will be like Christmas here in a few weeks when they arrive.

  143. When you come to seattle on nov 13 (squeeeeee) will you sign my cats belly? Her name is Catness Mewler (no relation). She hates her stomach touched, but you have a way with animals.

  144. I cannot wait for your new book! I have read your first book so many times, I think it may not survive til the new one comes. That book cannot wait to be retired, there are days that it was the only therapy that worked to get my ass outta bed and to face the world. I love knowing I’m not suffering alone. I am forever greatful for your ability to make me laugh and face the world!

  145. oh my gosh – I hope the bookplates are available at the book signings! I’m excited for your visit to Houston!!
    And I may have to stage my own raccoon midnight rodeo now because it sounds like such fun. maybe not for my cats, but hey, there’s a price for being pampered and not having to go to work.

  146. My cats are assholes, too. I await your new book in breathless anticipation. I appreciate your willingness to tell the funny AND difficult parts of a story. Your last book made me laugh until I cried.

  147. I can’t wait until you come to Toronto! Also, that wine rack is hella awesome and holds a lot more than all four of mine put together. (Yes, I said 4. I may or may not drink a lot of wine).

  148. I’m not positive the red dress I wore when I met you in Chicago in 2012 (at the library), but if it does? I may have to wear it again when you’re here in October, as you’ll be at a bookstore practically in my back yard!!!

  149. I find it ironic that you’re having a signing here in Nashville, but there is no bookstore near here carrying the signed limited first edition. Since I pre-ordered the day you announced it, and am obviously coming to the signing, can I have a plate as a consolation? Because, you know, I’m greedy.

  150. Book preordered (Christmas present for my best friend) from Gibsons’s Bookstore in Concord NH! Accomplished while breastfeeding my two week old (so my tits are in fact pretty calm) WHILE her diaper is in the brink of exploding. Priorities, people 🙂

  151. Hunter S. Tomcat is getting so big! I remember him when he was a kitten, before you took his beans away from his frankfurter (my cousin’s euphemism for fixing a cat that really isn’t all that broken ;-)) Will buy my copy asap, so I can read, laugh and (probably) pee myself laughing 😀

  152. Can’t wait to get my hands on the book. I got some very strange looks while reading the first one in public. Thanks for sharing your story!

  153. Thank you for the book plate! I did pre-order, but I am not sure I will be able to get to downtown Atlanta for the signing. I am so excited for you getting the real copies of the book.

  154. I pre-ordered. I just want to say thank you – I was having an extremely bad week last week and I picked up your first book to reread. It made me laugh again. Thanks much.

  155. It’s like two autographs in one–HST figures he needs to cash in on some of the awesomeness happening in the house! Love the wine wall, btw.

  156. There’s just so much awesomeness going on in this entry! Thank you for being you! You bring so much laughter and fun into my life. And thank you for sacrificing your hand so that we can keep a piece of your awesomeness with us forever…without keeping an actual piece of you…which could get gross.

  157. It didn’t give me an option to add Country, so I’m hoping it will make it to Canada! I’m SO EXCITED.

  158. I won an advanced copy but would still love to support my local indie. Why aren’t any listed for CT?

  159. I did pre order and I asked for a book plate (even though I’m going to one of your book signings) cause I really wanted the Midnight Raccoon Rodeo. That being said, if you tell me I am being greedy and the bookplates are for the needy and helpless you just say the word and I’ll give it back…if you don’t respond I will assume I have your blessing to be greedy just this one time. You could send me a blank one and I can get you to sign it later. I just really like the raccoon riding the cat

  160. I just called to pre-order my book, but the person on the phone sounded a little confused. I reeeeally hope she got that I need not just a regular copy but a special signed copy!!! I only said “signed, pleased!” like three times, I probably should have at least doubled that. Fingers are crossed….I should probably order the bookplate just to be safe.

  161. I am so excited for my bookplate! I asked about them first thing when you said you had a new book. September won’t get here soon enough!!!

  162. PLEASE say there will eventually be some Canadian dates for your book signings! It’s my lifelong dream to meet Jenny Lawson and if you don’t come then I’ll have to find another Jenny Lawson to sign my book and I feel like that conversation is gonna be weird.

  163. I pre-ordered two books for my daughters months ago. They plan on attending another of your signing events in our grand state. I, on the other hand, proceeded to call the nearest “Bookies” to reserve a signed copy for lil’ol’ me— they had no clue what I was talking about!! I told them to keep a look out for a demon Racoon ( “the book”-not the real thing, Although, I do have one running around my house who I would love to relocate immediately along with his cousin “the skunk.”) I also insisted they visit your website….the book store….not the racoon or skunk.

  164. You, are such a delight! Thank you for the bookplate option! It has totally made my whole freaking day!

  165. We live out in the middle of BFE. Folks about 3 miles down the highway from us have a giant metal chicken in their yard…it always makes me think about you…smile. It scares my husband, which makes it even better. Congrats on everything you’ve accomplished. I love your kitchen. If you ever see an pudgy Okie cooking in your kitchen, just remember that dinner is at 6.

  166. Hey Jenny!
    Can I get a signed bookplate sent to Canada? I went through the link but it assumes I live in the States. I wasn’t fooling anyone by putting Ontario as my state 😉. Pretty please? I’ll do anything! Especially to get one of the ones with the cat doodles! 🐾 Darlene.

  167. I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but I ordered a bookplate even though I pre-ordered the audio book, but I wanted one so bad. I have listened to you reading LPTNH at least 10 times, no exaggeration, and I needed you to read me the new book too!

  168. Technically I’ve now pre-ordered two from two different sellers. One from Amazon and one from Books-A-Million because that’s a signed copy.

    I don’t really NEED two copies but I’d feel bad cancelling the Amazon order and messing up your sales so… I will read them together! Or something. I dunno. WHY ARE YOU PRESSURING ME?! Oh wait, no… that’s me. Sorry about that. Too much coffee.

    Someday I’ll find a signed first edition book of yours and add that to my collection of signed first editions. You’ll be kept next to other greats like Terry Pratchett and Douglass Adams.

  169. Apparently I have to drive to South Hadley. Which isn’t too bad. There’s a good cafe(sells books, wine, snacks and coffee, which is all you really need and has WiFi!) a pretty drive, and I can try to beat my record without getting pulled over.

  170. I like that you do your signing next to the wine rack. It just seems like sound logic from a logistical standpoint.

  171. I per-ordered a couple of months ago and can’t wait to get my copy!!! I would love to have a signed copy first edition. How wonderful would that be.

    See you in DC or Portland Oregon or both for a book signing.

  172. Hey it’s the Crap Scrabble bowl! My family has not yet had a chance to play, but we can’t wait to try it!

  173. Yeah! I have a signed book plate for your first book and now this book will have one too! I’m thinking planning a trip to Chicago for your book signing may be in order!

  174. Oh. My. God. I love so many things about this.

    I love that your signing station was in the wet bar … a girl’s got to have fortification.
    I’m SOOOO jealous that my copy will not be bound in human skin! I pre-ordered the paper and e copies already.
    I love Hunter S Thomcat! … that’s it, I just love him.
    I love that Rory looks like he’s laughing at Hunter for continuing to try to use the bookplates as pillows while you sign.
    I love that I am impossibly excited to find out about the Midnight Raccoon Rodeo, but am enough of a nerd to wait for the book so that I can get it in context.
    I love that I irrationally need to get one of the ‘flawed’ book plates that the cats helped sign … maybe that makes them collectibles, and those will be the ones worth a million dollars?

  175. My cats are also assholes that don’t understand the importance of legible penmanship. I found it especially entertaining watching my daughter attempt to do geometry homework with protractors and a compass and stuff… She did not fin this as amusing as I did.

    I really hope to get a bookplate wit extra squiggle art!!!!

  176. Cannot wait to read the new book. And yes, I’ll take full responsibility if people don’t love it. Wait. What am I saying? Only jackasses will find this book to be unfunny. And they are not worthy of a signed nameplate, let alone acurly fry by one of the cats. Screw them. (Said jackasses. Not the cats.)

  177. I preordered your book as soon as I knew it was coming. I am leaving the country for two weeks, and it should be at my house when I get home. That makes coming home from London (my favorite place in the world) less sad. So thank you. I’m a little bummed that I won’t have the book before i leave to read on the plane, but glad that people won’t look at me funny as I laugh hysterically.

  178. Can’t wait for this book. Love your blog and posts. Rory is a new employee here and my boss tolerates it. Ps I put him in a different place every night so she finds him first thing in the morning. Pps. She laughed at the places I put him. Tonight the back side of bathroom door. With a sign that says hello, I am your new employee.

  179. I hope you don’t mind that this time I’m not lending my book out to anyone. I never got the last one back and I can’t remember who had it last. Probably my fault, but this time I’m just gonna say NO!

  180. Wow, human skin bound books would be awesome. Just don’t deep fry the books otherwise people will be tempted by the crispy crackling. I mean I’ve been told, humans are like pork 😀

  181. I preordered both the audio and hardcover versions. Your book is going to be doing a lot of traveling with me.

  182. I am furiously happy that you’ve written a second book. I think I will request it at my library just so more people can find you. I will also buy one for myself, because I am selfish, and I don’t like anyone touching my stuff. Win, win.

  183. I absolutely cannot wait to read your new book! I laughed so bloody hard at the first one my husband thought I had gone bonkers. I have been pushing your book on all my friends. Your list of signings includes Toronto but when I followed the link you weren’t listed. I’m hoping it’s just a glitch because I’d love to come see you there.

  184. YAY! Rock on, I can’t wait to read your new book! I must mention one small thing about your post here, though…Malaprops, the amazing and wonderful bookstore, is in AshEville, NC…the locals are quite particular about that there “E” in the middle of the word. Just a heads up!

  185. You had me at human skin.
    Guess who has two thumbs and called their local bookstore from your list and will be getting that special edition? That’s right; THIS GIRL.
    I’m on this like stink on shit, Jenny.
    P.S. The person that answered the phone didn’t know what I was talking about. I could have told her it was my magic crystal ball, but I told her about this post and she looked it up and got me on the right list. But wouldn’t it be cool if I DID have a magic crystal ball? That would be DOPE, y’all.

  186. Bookplate requested! I probably shouldn’t put it on my Nook though. I can’t wait to read your book. I’m excited for you!! Consider a Springfield IL signing sometime. It’s very central to the rest of the state. (Hint hint!). 😛

  187. Ordered this the other day! It comes out the weekend of my birthday so happy birthday to me. Hope I get a bookplate with a random squiggle as I too have asshole cats.

  188. Ordered just the other day! Can’t wait since it comes out a few days after my birthday so happy birthday to me. I hope I get one of the squiggly line bookplates as I too have asshole cats. <3

  189. Can I get a Hamlet bookplate for my copy of Let’s Pretend this Never Happened? I tried to go to BookPeople but couldn’t get in…. I can’t wait for Furiously Happy!

  190. I just requested a book plate and cannot wait to stick it onto my Kindle. I was a bit too precious to stick the Let’s Pretend one on there, so I would kind of…carry it around and display it in various workspaces while looking for an appropriate place to put it. I’m sooo excited for the new book!

  191. I had already preordered a copy from Amazon and then ordered a bookplate for free. And I sat here thinking and thinking and thinking (seems longer written out than was actual)…then I called immediately to my local indie store which is not actually local, but 2 hours away…anyway, I am down for the human skin copy. YES! I have a friend who will be getting a gift copy.
    When I saw your signing room, I thought “how cool is that shit, Jenny has a butler’s pantry in her house.” But I see now it was a closet with a lot of wine. And the rubber band thing was getting to me too but now that you explained it. It’s all good.
    I don’t remember who mentioned it…but I hope my human skin book is signed in red….

  192. Cats ARE assholes….. try having 6 (I’m not a hoarder…. I’m a rescuer…..that’s what all of the cat ladies say..) Can’t wait to get my book Ü

  193. Have pre-ordered & requested a bookplate. So very much looking forward to reading this!

    So if people don’t like it, I’m blaming you.

    I doubt there will be many but … it’s okay. I have broad shoulders. I can take them. I mean handle them. I mean ….

  194. Can you get any more awesome? Seriously??? Love reading your posts and can’t wait for the book.

  195. Oh I want a book plate that the kitties helped with! Especially a puppy face! My kitties are not ready for our pre order to arrive since I read at night and when I laugh I wake them up!

  196. I preordered ages ago when Furiously Happy was first announced, and now I’ve signed up for a book plate, and I’m planning on coming to a signing. Yay!

  197. I’m slightly annoyed that Parnassus Books in Nashville, TN doesn’t get the special books but bookstores in other parts of Tennessee do. I assume it’s because Parnassus looks small, but the truth is it’s a TARDIS bookstore. It’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.
    Okay, it’s still pretty small. I hope you’ll forgive them for being so small when you go there next month. Their cat may have a word or two with you about your special books too.

  198. I pre-ordered, gosh, like, a couple years ago, maybe. But now I see you are coming to St Louis in November so I’ve got that on the calendar. Just ordered a book plate but would you also sign in person, or is that bad form and am I just being a greedy asshole?

  199. I’m sorry did you say something….all I can think about is WINE!! WINE!! LOVELY WINE!! Oh and a FREE BOOK would be cool too, but I hate to sound like a WhINER!!

  200. Ok, I’ve preordered, requested a bookplate, and now I am leaving a comment in hopes of winning an early copy of your new book. I am not worried at all about being blamed for people not liking your new book, because I know they will LOVE it to pieces! I’m looking forward to meeting you at Bookpeople in Austin. Would you like me to bring some chocolate chip cookies?

  201. Jenny! Ohmygosh! I preordered your new book as part of a wedding gift, because my husband wanted Cards Against Humanity and this felt so, so right. I cannot WAIT to read this book! I’m so very glad you’re still writing. You make the world better. Thank you.

  202. Sniffle, sniffle. You know, Jenny, Connecticut may be a small state but it is mighty. Please think about visiting sometime.

  203. I just pre ordered I hope I did the name plate thingy right soon excited!!!! I just hope my little one doesn’t try to use it as a chew toy!

  204. Man! I pre-ordered thru Barnes & Nobles. I’m sure I won’t get anything cool with it. Booooo…. At least I will go to a signing 🙂

  205. Wait! There are NO stores in Nevada that carry the human skin collectors book…. Boo-fucking-hoo. I want one! Do I get a book plate? I pre-ordered on Amazon when you first announced the books release. Pleeeeeeease! And thank you.

  206. I’ll be seeing you in Nashville next month!! I I’ve always wanted to go there and you’ve given me the perfect reason. 🙂

  207. I love your work and your unabashed divulgence of your beautiful brokenness. You are a gem, treasured by many. You give me strength, courage and a stitch in my side from laughing so friggin’ hard. You’ve also given me a new favorite expression: “The fuck?!”

  208. Definitely ordering a bookplate. I already pre-ordered my book MONTHS ago. Barring some debilitating illness I WILL be at the Pasadena book signing. I am so excited!! Also, I got an email from I’m guessing your publisher and they’re sending me a Rory!!

  209. With that signature, you have a bright future in the medical profession or in signing hall passes for my classroom. Please include cat hair on my bookplate.

  210. I’m counting down the days until I can be furiously happy with my new book. 💜💜💜

  211. Jenny, I was reading through the comments see that people want to get bookplates but live outside of North America. Through my job I have access to free postage, I would be happy to send out some international bookplates (within reason, lol). Maybe like 50? If this is something you might find interesting email me at CassieSteger@gmail.com

  212. I ordered a book for myself and one for my sister, and filled in the bookplate request for each of us (it’s not a duplicate; really!). So excited!

  213. Thanks for thinking of us pre-orderees (is that a legit word, even? Nope.) with the book plates. More importantly, thanks for calling us Little Ninjas. ‘Cause who doesn’t like a ninja?

    Zombie pirates. That’s who.

  214. I am so excited!!! I pre ordered my book months ago, and I can’t wait for my book plate! I’m hoping for cat doodles!!!! And I can’t WAIT for my book to get here!!

  215. Forget the bookplate — I WANT THE WINE CLOSET!!! No? Oh well, then I guess a book and a book plate (con squiggles, por favor), it is. See you in California!

    As an aside, my father-in-law was a school librarian and he absolutely loved your ode to libraries. He’s in his 80s and not in stellar health, so I’m always happy when he finds some joy. He’s looking forward to the audiobook.

  216. I agree with Gwyn (278) we are a very awesome state. And with some pretty cool indie bookstores. We have not only the 3rd oldest Ivy League university with 2 art galleries and 22 different libraries, but we are the home of the hamburger at Louis’ Lunch, some of the bestest pizza ever made(there’s a place that makes bacon and mashed potato pizza, and if that’s not a reason to visit what is?), and beautiful beaches. We also have the Coast Guard Academy and we build helicopters and submarines. There’s 2 aquariums and we’re home of P.T. Barnum, who was mayor of Bridgeport and a great showman. (Those two things are probably related) And Haley and Victor would LOVE the Hartford Science Center. We even have major casinos and a very successful women’s basketball team. So come visit. There’s probably not going to be snow anytime soon. We hope….

  217. I am so happy for you and love the smile on that face in your pic! One caveat–I don’t think you should assume all of us have beautiful tits. Because it just is not statistically probable. Although what a beautiful world that would be, right? I’m pretty sure we all have beautiful souls. Right? We follow you. We must.

  218. I CANNOT Wait to read your new book!! I’m super excited that you’re coming to a bookstore near me on your tour!

  219. I accept ALL the blame! This book is gonna rock the llama’s ass – no doubt about it. Pre-ordered and bookplate registered – thank you Jenny!

  220. Holy cats! Am i really going to get your signature for my own? Really psyched cuz there isn’t signing close to literate, but lonesome Buffalo. Thank you Jenny. P.S. always wondered how you would sign my ebook.

  221. So I just started working at The Bookies in Denver. Today our staffers were doing the happy dance upon hearing we would be getting some signed books. We are SO excited! Yippee, yippee, yippee!

  222. I pre-ordered and I get to see you at a signing in Seattle! I’m totally excited, as I’m sure you are!! 😉

  223. I pre-ordered on Amazon. You are one of the few authors I would want this from. J. K. Rowling is another 🙂 What good company you keep.

  224. SQUEEEEEE!!! I’m so excited that you’re coming to Portland (wait, Portland, OR or Maine… Shit, I can’t check and type this at the same time!!! Balls!!) ok, I’ll just hope I win a copy and if I don’t that it’s really Oregon. This is the better one anyway, we have wine, Jenny, so, so much wine!

  225. Fine! You can blame me if your book sucks but I get to blame you if the book is so good that I read it over and over again and can’t concentrate on my school work and flunk out of school. I’ll tell people that I was once destined to be the greatest paralegal in Canada until I preordered a book from indigo from the best author in the United States and it all went tits up from there.

  226. Jenny! Can’t wait to see you in Santa Cruz, although December seems like an insanely long time. There are some days that “Let’s Pretend…” is the only thing that gets me through, and I can’t wait to read this one. Whether you like it or not, you’ve inspired people, including myself. As a writer, a midnight raccoon wrangler, and in making sure people know that depression lies. Thank you.
    Also, with you being a role model, inspiration, etc…just how much weirder can the world get?

  227. I’m so grateful for the bookplate as none of the tour locations are near me. Thank you!! I can’t wait to read what happens to your arms!

  228. I don’t normally get to buy brand new books because I’m not that kinda affluent, but this seems like a worthwhile early Chanukkah present for myself. Awesome!

  229. I’m surprised your hand has not fallen off signing all those plates. Can’t wait for the release. T-1 month(ish)

  230. Given that inflation exists, they probably WILL be worth $1m EVENTUALLY. Like, paperback books used to be 15¢ and now they’re like $10. So you know, tens of thousands of years from now, they’ll be worth $1 million, while new books are worth like $25 million.

  231. Having read through the ENTIER blog over the last month or so, I know this book will go on my list. First copy I can buy will have to go to my friend who is sometimes too paniced to be furious, but does a damn good job at happy- or at least making others happy. I hope to make it to the book signing near me if I can brave the city driving to get a signed copy for her in person.

  232. it said something like, “This limited, signed, 1st edition has been specially bound” and it felt like it was missing something, so I scrawled “IN HUMAN SKIN” on the bottom and sent it back – just for that, I’d want to read the book. 🙂

  233. You are truly one of the most inspiring people I have ever known to be an actual human being. At least, I’m pretty sure you’re an actual human being. Right?

  234. You are truly the most inspiring thing I know to be an actual human being I have ever encountered. At least, I’m pretty sure you’re an actual human being.

  235. I want to come to your signing, but I shan’t be able to as we are expecting a new puppy. I love you like puppies, and this new puppy may or may not be as great as you (will you let me dress you in a hot dog outfit for Halloween? If not, this may be an issue we can overcome in therapy together.). But, brand new puppy the week of your signing, Gr! I pre-ordered your book and I promise I won’t let new puppy chew it. We are thinking names now. And We’re torn. My husband wants to keep the James Bond references alive, our last baby was Money Penny, but I’m terrified of going to the Vet (where they have a loud speaker that announces to bring your dog up) and hear Pussy Galore for pick-up. Sadly, I believe this is partially the same reason hubby wants new puppy to be named, PG. I’ll get back to you on it. Also, let me know if we do have an issue for therapy together.

  236. I wish I could come to a signing, but it sounds absolutely terrifying. So many many people. I preordered and can’t wait for my bookplate.

    You = awesome. Thank you.

  237. Thank you so much for signing bookplates! I will be at your book signing here in Toronto as well. Maybe I’ll have you sign the book again! Then I will have double the Jenny!

  238. I am ever so excited to meet you in October when you come to DC! Question though. Is it wrong to ALSO get a nameplate, even if I plan to come visit? I was going to take the high road and not get one, until you mentioned there might be drawings of curly fries. 🙂 You rock!

  239. I first read this as “Jenny Lawson has been specially bound in human skin” and I was thinking “well, if that’s what floats your boat, hun.”

    If anyone is interested in actual books bound in human skin, that is a real thing. It’s called “anthropodermic bibliopegy” and they are usually anatomy books, with the skin being from the person dissected for the research to create the book. The Mutter Museum in Philadelphia has a few. They also have the world’s largest colon, so that just makes sense. It makes less sense that Brown university also has a human skin collection.

  240. My birthday is a week and a half away, so I ordered your book as a birthday present to myself. This way I can say that I accomplished at least ONE thing on my list of ‘Things to Do Before My Next Birthday.’ 🙂

  241. Have you read (or seen) “Silence of the Lambs”? Anyway, you are definitely working with the right publishing company. Even though they’ve obviously taken “working” to heart. Did they at least include a hand masseuse?

    And Hunter is a big kitty! Unless you’ve really shrunk. But if you want to see a picture of the giant catosaur that lives with us, I’ll send you a picture. His name is Vaider and yes, that’s how he spells it.

  242. Awesome news and awesome amount of signing – reminds me of passes I sign at school. Sometimes, you can read them and sometimes there’s a whole bunch of craziness going on in my room that means you get whatever I can scrawl around whatever else is going on. I am very much looking forward to reading your book and have fingers crossed that I can figure out a way to a signing…

  243. Awesome news and awesome signing! This reminds me of signing passes at school – sometimes they are beautiful, clear and make sense. Other times, when my room is full of craziness (the learning kind, most days), I will literally sign whatever I can find and it is unreadable, with glue, markers and whatever stuck to it. I am so looking forward to reading this book and crossing my fingers that I get to make a signing somewhere…

  244. Are there no indie bookstores in Maryland that want your signed book? I’m thoroughly disappointed.

  245. I pre-ordered for my kindle but I still requested a book plate as I have one from your first book and this can now become a part of my “Official Jenny Lawson Book Plate Collection”. It will only have two but that’s more than the one I have now and clearly these will be collectors items someday.

  246. Ordered my bookplate but will also dash out to my local bookstore as soon as they arrive. My mom stole Let’s pretend This never happened. I think she deserves her own signed copy.

  247. Jenny, I just love you! I am ordering a copy of your book for my mother-in-law who is going through terrible depression. And one for myself of course. I look forward to seeing you in Boston! (I’ll be the giddy one pushing people out of line so I can gush endlessly and take all of your time)

  248. I pre-ordered a long time ago and hope to have it for my flight to Germany, which is where I’ll be when you come sign books in Atlanta, sadly.

  249. I’m praying my bookplate has something super sketchy on it….and maybe a little magic from Totes. My hands are really dry.

  250. All right. Tits are calmed.

    I’ve ordered my bookplate (does it come with bookcookies?) and emailed my indie bookstore to get one of the human skinned super special agent editions. I certainly hope the skin was harvested humanely. I kid. I don’t really care as long as your signature is on it. Those people should have moved faster, to be honest.

    PS Next time, in lieu of signing, maybe you can just lay all the bookplates on the ground, ink up the paws of all the animals and let them wander over them. Or, you know, run a glue stick across the bookplates and let the cat and dog hair just fall willy nilly on them for something very organic.

  251. Pre-order accomplished. I can’t wait to stay up all night reading…..I must plan snacks that do not leave orange finger prints on all of the pages. Hmmm……

  252. ZOMG, I’ll be at your Dayton signing for sure! You’re welcome to relax at my house afterwards (which does have comfy couches, many cats, and lots of wine). 🙂

  253. I listened to the sound cloud…if I buy the book, will I find out why you didn’t have arms? I NEED TO FIND OUT WHY YOU DIDN’T HAVE ARMS.

  254. Can’t wait for the book! Did you dream about signing bookplates that night? (Sort of like when you’ve driven a car for too long and you keep waking up with a start, thinking you’re still on the road?)

  255. So excited for your next book! We pre-ordered your first but missed out on an awesome signed copy, now we won’t this time!!

  256. I was just going to type how I adore you for so many reasons, but I realized that would be creepy, so I’ll just go preorder a book.

  257. So I entered my information for a book plate, but I’m not sure if you send them to Canada, but also, I entered my birth year as 1973, but then I thought, did you mean “How old are you?” because I am definitely not 1973. I will say that Emperor Claudius was a cool dude. (his skirt was way too short though)

  258. Hunter makes me smile so much!!! He is getting so big and obviously he is taking his job as supervisor very seriously!!! I want a cat smudged one!!!

  259. Can’t wait to see you in DC! I’m going to trudge all the way from my Virginian suburb-like area and drag my husband along. And he’s going to enjoy it.

  260. Pre-ordered (amazon) and bookplate requested. Thanks! I can’t wait to get my eyes on this.

  261. I had to listen to the audiobook teaser. I don’t think I’ve heard your voice clearly before, but you sound rather like a raccoon to me… Of course, that would explain your awesome friendship with Rory?

  262. I simply adore you! Thank you for sharing your outrageous humor and also your more vulnerable truths. Hard cover book and book plate ordered. Cannot wait!! 🐗 (there was no raccoon emoji so I had to use the warthog)

  263. Preordered human skin version and ordered a bookplate, knowing I will buy at least five more copies for other people. Would love to go to the book signing in Toronto but Indigo is not listing it on their upcoming events. Can you yell at them please?

  264. I am so excited for your new book!!! BTW, since cats are the devil, they must lay on everything you are trying to work on. 🙂 I have 3 fur babies myself.

  265. I pre-ordered, in a fit of excitement. Then found out that you’ll be visiting Parnassus in Nashville! (So I should have waited and bought it from the local, independent… Guess I’ll be getting two copies!) Now I’m torn between wanting to come see you, and not wanting to add to a crowd that may stress you out… Either way, thank you for, you know, being yourself…

  266. I can NOT wait for your new book. Sad, however, that I live nowhere near South Hadley and will miss out on a copy bound in human skin.

  267. Normally I would preorder but I’m planning on seeing you at Half Price Books in Dallas so I will buy it there. My cats Milo and Sasha agree with Hunter S. Thomcat that those look like cat pillows and they want to know why you were disturbing him.

  268. Oh my god I loved your first book and I preordered this one and I am going to try soooo hard to be able to get to your book signing in Denver. So excited!!!

  269. bookplates and cheesecake in the same post, I’m one happy camper, and even more-so come 22 September.

  270. I am feeling depressed and lonely because I cannot calm all of my beautiful tits, insomuch as my late momma had a boy chile. I will ask the Missus for assistance. But I don’t rate the chances.

  271. I am so excited!! I preordered the second I found out back in April!! You are by far one of the best parts of the Internet!

  272. Wishing I could go to a signing. But ya aren’t coming anywhere near me. I’m super excited to read this book. I’m an audiobook person and listened to your first one, and LOVE that it’s YOU reading it. You are a friggin super star. Can’t wait. Thanks for being there for me when I need you.

  273. Wait a second- your website has two different locations for the DC stop, is it Politics and Prose or Kramerbooks? Politics and Prose still has you listed for October 12, is that correct? DC fans need to know!

  274. Omg I felt like I was in my own head reading this!!! 😂😂😂this is sooo how my brain works!!