It’s the new future dance of the past.

I don’t know what it means but 3 people have sent this clip to me, saying “this just reminds me of you”.  I choose to believe that it’s because they laughed and laughter reminded them of me, and not that they’ve seen me dance before and thought, I didn’t think it was possible for someone to dance more like an old white lady than Jenny, but I stand corrected.

Regardless, it’s too good not to share:

It definitely needs a catchier tune and less German but other than that, it’s pretty awesome. My favorite part is the beginning move, which I refer to as “JESUS CHRIST I’VE GOT THE STOMACH FLU AND IT’S COMING OUT BOTH ENDS.”  I plan to learn this dance and it will now replace my current go-to standard, the Achy Breaky Heart Line Dance.  Yay for progress.

Enjoy.

PS. In the interest of full transparency, I suck at the Achey Breaky Line Dance and after a minute I switch to the Rocky Horror Timewarp dance, which I sing to myself as I dance to whatever music is actually being played.  I also sometimes throw in some of the chicken dance, and (if I’ve been drinking tequila) my bastardized version of the macarena, which is basically a sad, solo version of patty-cake while I sing “Now Watch Me Nae Nae.”  Because if you can’t dance well you should at least dance entertainingly.

170 thoughts on “It’s the new future dance of the past.

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  1. Wow, that was so much weirder than I even expected! My favourite is when they turn around holding each others’ knees which seems insane and like people are gonna all misjudge and knock out their teeth.

  2. Too funny. I think this will have to replace my current Christmas Office Party speciality dance which I call a RiverCossacksDance. Thanks for the fun!

  3. Wow, that was great. Let’s all learn it and then we will recognize each other on the street, no, wait, that won’t work.
    But, yeah.

  4. Ich bin ein Berliner, we don’t march, we goose step and we don’t dance…we do..well, whatever this is.

  5. Laughing in Office @ work (I swear I’m on my lunch break!), and just too hard to explain to co-workers why.

  6. I think these people are trying to trick you. Aside from the poop explosion disease thing, this looks suspiciously like aerobics.

  7. The brunette delivering the message reminds me of Krysten Ritter, especially when she launches the eye-daggers at the blonde. I think that this is the B&W 1950’s futuristic answer to the “flash mob dance” in the mall.

  8. And just think, someone was actually approached DELIBERATELY by a director or a producer or someone and told “Hey, we’d really like you to choreograph this dance for us. It needs to be futurific,” and then, somehow, this was the desired result.

    I kind of want to learn it now, too. Do you think I could teach it to my bridal party for my wedding?

  9. Apparently, this is what the Germans came up with to compete with Star Trek — Space Patrol: ORION!

  10. Now I have to dig the series out on YouTube just to see how they transpose out of the sit spin this cuts out of. Had to watch twice because I got distracted by the waitress and the idea that somehow throwing shade looks no different in future spandex butt clutching dance future.

  11. Oh My God. That’s the goddamned funniest thing I’ve seen all day! Every time I think about it, I burst out laughing again! Glad I’m home alone! We should ALL learn this so we can recognize each other out dancing and at weddings and stuff!

  12. OMG. I totally want to get a bunch of my friends to learn this, go to a “tres cool” dance club and when “Uptown Funk” comes on – do this dance! GUFFAW Also, wouldn’t Beyonce (the giant metal chicken) dance like this if she were human? I think she would. Thank you for sharing.

  13. I love the Time Warp dance. Stick with that one.

    Younger relatives tried to teach me the whip nae nae thing this fall and I just can’t see the point…

  14. OMG. Best thing I’ve seen all day and it came at exactly the right moment!

    Truncated RSS feed now?

  15. looks like a group of chicken feeding – kinda perfect for your tribe. Lets redub it the furiously happy rooster dance.

  16. My husband dances so poorly, he “makes Elaine (you know, from Seinfeld) look graceful” (that’s an actual quote from someone who has seen him dance.) We were recently at a Christmas party and one of the (slightly inebriated) party-goers came up and said to me, “I’m gonna make your husband dance with me.” and I replied, “Well, you are welcome to try.” Then another friend and I sat back and observed…I’m pretty desensitized my now, but she nearly herniated herself laughing.

  17. Holy shit, I didn’t know Kristen Ritter time-traveled back to play a waitress in this movie!!! They really should have mentioned that during the Jessica Jones PR junket!

  18. If you play Diana Ross’s Upside Down while they are dancing it is even more wonderful. I don’t know how to do something like that. Oh great Internet, please grant me a mash up of this video and Upside Down!! (Now how do I sacrifice my PB&J to show my true devotion?)

  19. I found myself wanting the people talking to move out of the way so I could see the dancers better. And giggling madly. I would so learn this, just to make my family wonder what kind of drugs I was on. Although I’d fall over at the spinning while holding the other persons knees part because I’d be doing it alone.

  20. I’m suffering from the cold from hell, my anxiety disorder is freaking out over the fact that my work situation is somewhat up in the air right at the moment, and I’ve been dealing with a steady parade of pissed off clients all morning…but this made me laugh so hard I almost fell off my chair. I must learn this dance immediately.

  21. Raumpatrouille Orion Fun Fact: the set design used several household objects (famously an iron, for example) as parts of consoles on the spaceship and such because the production had very little budget and according to the set designer, household appliances in the 60s were the most modern, futuristic-looking items available.

  22. Longtime reader, first time commenter. Did you change your RSS settings? I’m getting a truncated feed now with a “Continue Reading” link. This is a huge bummer. I’m a lot less likely to read your posts now. ): Any chance you can change back to the full feed?

    (I have scrapers using the RSS feed to pirate my stuff so I’m going to do truncated for awhile to see if I can shake them. ~ Jenny)

  23. I like the part in the beginning when they hold their bums. For no reason. I mean,if you can’t hold your bum, it’s just not a dance, right?
    Oh, and by the way, I told the TSA agent to have a good flight the other day. But I didn’t hold my bum while doing it so I guess I’m still ahead.

  24. Need this quote on a mug, or t-shirt, or something please! ‘If you can’t dance well you should at least dance entertainingly.’

  25. I just kept saying what??? Why???? How??? What the hell are they doing in the last bit? And how did they do that without popping a knee cap or throwing out their back??? All I can say is the drugs must have been fantastic!!! Thank you for this!!

  26. I couldn’t help but think that this was a very complicated greeting, and it took me a while to believe it was a dance. air kiss, air kiss

  27. I feel bad for thinking that every time my almost 4 year old daughter dances I think she’s doing the “Elaine”.

  28. OMG that is so awesome. Much needed laugh-til-I-cry on this grey Wednesday afternoon!!! (Not sure whether I mean the film clip or the imagined sight of you doing the Macarena/achy breaky heart chicken dance while singing the Nae Nae song)

  29. (As an aside, from a fellow blogger, how do you know if you have people pirating your stuff? You see it online elsewhere later? This has become a concern for me lately.)

  30. That’s one of the most ridiculous scenes of “dancing” I’ve ever seen.

    They look like they’re pecking at something in the first move, and I don’t even know what to say about the “holding my ass while I spin” move.

  31. What I find most amusing of all is that someone actually sat down and choreographed this, then got to watch and direct the “dancers.”

    “Nein, nein! Awkvard! More awkvard! Schnell! Schnell! You must feeeeeel ze diarrhea!”

  32. It looks to me like the choreographer had no idea how to go about creating a futuristic type of dancing, so they watched a bunch of bird mating films to get some ideas, and pretty much decided to just have the dancers act like birds doing mating dances, which I guess pretty much explains any dancing, anyway.

  33. There’s a good chance I’d either head butt someone or fall on my ass doing that dance. I guess I’m not cut out for the future.

  34. Sweet Fancy Moses! This must be what the Distopian Von Trap Family Dancers would have looked like if the Nazis had won in the Sound of Music. And Jenny, there is no way that you are worse than Elaine. https://youtu.be/5xi4O1yi6b0

  35. Maybe it’s because the beginning part reminds them of a certain giant metal chicken!

  36. Jenny, don’t limit yourself to just that one dance – the entire series is on youtube – all seven episodes, complete with english subtitles. Episode 1 at about 10 minutes has an even more interesting (?) dance scene. Seems German choreographers were quite possibly using hallucinogenics on a regular basis. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJI4J92Btis Enjoy

  37. I’m way too fond of this video. Seriously, I think I’ve annoyed every person in my office building because I was laughing so hard.

  38. They start out with a chicken kind of dance, then have the stomach flu & then, at the end, it’s all like, “I will help you and hold up your knees….” those people are just so accommodating!!

  39. Why do people speaking German always sound so angry? You never sound angry… maybe a little crazy and a little paranoid but never angry

  40. Someone was paid to coordinate that dance, as well as the actors/dancers to dance it!

  41. I’m dubbing this dance “The Flamingostrich”, and it will now be my party time dance move of choice. My friends will be disappointed that I’m foregoing my patented “Arms-up-Sway-and-Snap” routine, but times change and so should I! Thanks for the new moves!

  42. My favorite part is DEFINITELY the “put your head on the other person’s shoulder, both bend over uncomfortably, and walk in a circle” portion of the dance. Although the strange swaying at the beginning was quite good.

  43. Most excellent! Kinda looks like a dance Beyonce would do if she could. (The chicken Beyonce, not Beyonce Beyonce…although the thought of Beyonce Beyonce doing that dance is pretty awesome too!)

  44. Reminds me of when people pretend to talk from their butt holes. Very funny and so incredibly strange.

  45. STOP IT! Since I’ve turned 50, I pee a little when I laugh too hard…sneeze, or cough….which is especially uncomfortable when I am in front of my class teaching….
    The video reminds me of one of my #oneword choices – Farfegnugen (sp?)
    Or, Valley Of The Dolls meets Gangnum Style (again sp?)
    awesome…thanks!
    pee

  46. It’s like they observed the dance I do outside the bathroom door every morning while I wait for my husband to clear out so I can use the toilet. I call it the “OMG PLEASE HURRY BEFORE I PEE DOWN MY LEG…AGAIN…” dance.

  47. It’s like Jazzercise had a great blind date with one of those 18th century dances you see in movie adaptations of Jane Austen books. Plus some pheromone-sniffing, or something.

  48. This just made me laugh so hard I cried. Thanks so much for sharing. Thanks so much for everything that you share.

  49. I’m entertained that someone PAID to have it choreographed and then PAID the dancers, too. Wow.

  50. I am mostly fascinated by the fact that someone put that much effort into choreographing the background.

  51. It’s “humans really wishing they were a Flamingo bird” in a mating dance. If the clip were in Techni-Color –it’d be all sorts of pretty pinks and stuff. As always, thanks for the smiling eyes and laughing heart!

  52. This could not possibly be more German. I lived there for three years. It’s a little like Portlandia.

  53. It’s like a really slow, weird flash mob. And why does the guy say “Thank you” in English out of the clear blue and then they both giggle?

  54. I’m convinced this is what Danny Kaye was talking about when he sang “Choreography” in White Christmas.

  55. I shared on fb to see if any of my fb friends are brave enough to do this with me in public! We will see

  56. Infinitely more entertaining to watch than watching my drunk revolving German relatives doing the beer barrel poka!

  57. This is the best Jenny ~ but I need video evidence of your dance since I thought only my sister and my daughter and I knew that one! Your mention of the Macarena reminded me of the Xena Princess Warrior Girl Guide camp I ran where the girls made Xena bras out of Chinet bowls and ran through the forest yelling “la, la, la, la, la” (that looks somewhat like they should be skipping and throwing flowers around them, but they were doing the best Lucy Lawless impressions ever … in fact I think they frightened the other campers in the area). Fun times. Expecting your video to be posted soon (no pressure 😉

  58. Someone mentioned that they used household items as background props- Star Trek and Next Generation did that too. In lab cabinets see trombone mutes, on TNG Method dish detergent in its original container (which was cool but leaked like crazy). An iron only looks like an iron though.
    I thought all German film was brilliant- definitely been disillusioned…

  59. Good Morning Jenny! I was thinking how stressed out and frustrated I was today and I pulled up your post from “This is for you.” You’re drawings are amazing and I know you use them to destress and doodle, but would you ever consider putting them in a book for individuals like myself who cope by coloring to use? I would love to own a Jenny Coloring Book for Unique People!

  60. Oh, dear God. That’s wonderfully bizarre! How fun to watch. Just don’t ask me to dance. I only do that for my wife.

  61. Can’t…stop…laughing.

    Honestly though Jenny – I think I would think of you for some video like this because you appreciate (and post) hilarious things. You also seem to appreciate the ridiculous and the video certainly helped make me #furiouslyhappy. In a very weird way (ok, maybe not at all except in MY mind – which, admittedly, is a bizarre and non-sensical place), the clip is kind of like the video of the goats screaming. So ridiculous and hilarious you just have to laugh. Or at least, I do. Thanks for the post – it absolutely made my day.

  62. Drinking bird, drinking bird, drinking bird, drinking bird, diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrhea

    Repeat until all out of diarrhea.

  63. I just finished your book Jenny and I’d like to say…
    your skeleton is totally awesome, I’m soooo jealouse because mine totally sucks!
    Also, I wondered why I didn’t remember much of your first book and then I dug it off the shelf and found my psychiatrist’s card in the middle — turns out he sucks too, much like my skeleton, and I suppose I was probably sucky at the time, so now I am re-reading it. Actually I could be reading it for the first time, that part of my life is a bit of a blur apparently, but whatever.
    I tweeted you the other day that I had to stop reading while on the train because I was collapsing in fits of laughter and occasionally spraying spittle and snorting loudly and was worried that someone would ask to have me removed from the train. Instead the people around me just left. It might have been their stop, you never know, I didn’t ask.

  64. I think you and Victor should do this dance and record yourselves. It would be wonderful.

  65. First: Thank you of reminding me of the TV series I loved watching as a kid!

    And now:

    The two people sitting at the table are Tamara Jagelovsk, who works for the Galaktischer Sicherheitsdienst GSD (galactic security service). She was sent to serve on the spaceship Orion to supervise Major Cliff Allister McLane who has a somewhat lax approach to following rules (he’s the guy sitting on the right).
    They are in the Starlight Casino, a famous club on the bottom of the sea where most people like to spend their leisure time.

    They are talking about Oberst (colonel) Villa, the head of the GSD who is missing, presumed dead.

    All this is not really important if you just want to enjoy the dancers in the background, but here’s the dialogue:

    Tamara Jagelovsk: “Sie haben doch aber sonst nie was für den Geheimdienst übrig gehabt…?”
    Cliff Allister McLane: “Mit einer Ausnahme.”
    T. J.: “Villa war ein großartiger Mann und ein guter Chef. Ich kann das immer noch nicht begreifen.”
    C. A. McL.: “Tja, Villa hatte mehr Grips als so mancher… na, ich möchte mich da nicht festlegen.
    Ich werde ihm nie vergessen, dass er mir damals die Sondergenehmigung zu dem Start nach Chroma gab, als als es in der ganzen ORB* nur eine Devise gab: Krieg.
    Villa war bei all seiner Gedankenkühle so etwas wie ein Idealist, ein Pazifist des Weltraums. Ich hoffe, dass sein Nachfolger nicht in das andere Extrem fällt.”
    T. J.: “Wenn das ein Versuch sein sollte, mich auszuhorchen, McLane, so haben Sie Pech. Die Sache ist so geheim, davon weiß keiner was.”

    Offizierin: “Major McLane, hier ist eine Order von TRAV** für Sie.”

    C. A. McL.: “Danke mein Schätzchen…” (nickt herablassend) “Danke.
    Nein, das ist doch… Villa lebt!”
    T. J.: “Was??”
    C. A. McL.: “Ja, er ist mit seinem Stab in den Landsitz nach Gordon durchgekommen. Nur Lindley und die Besatzung scheint es erwischt zu haben.”
    T. J.: “Ja, aber wieso…?”
    C. A. McL.: “Villa ist an Bord der Zephir. Er wird in 3 Tagen hier sein.
    Ich bin zu einer Sitzung der ORB bestellt.”

    *ORB = Oberste Raumbehörde (Supreme Space Agency)
    **TRAV = Terrestrische Raumaufklärungsverbände (Terrestrial Intelligence Organizations)

    TRANSLATION:

    Tamara Jagelovsk: “But you never did like the secret service…?”
    Cliff Allister McLane: “With one exception.”
    T. J.: “Villa was a great man and a good boss. I still can’t quite grasp it..”
    C. A. McL.: “Well, Villa had more brains than some… uh, I won’t go into details here.
    I will never forget that he gave me special permit for the flight to Chroma as the whole ORB’ just had one thought: war.
    Villa, in spite of his aloofness, was something of an idealist, a space pacifist. I do hope that his successor won’t be the exact opposite.”
    T. J.: “If you are trying to sound me out, McLane, tough luck! It’s top secret, no one knows anything.”

    female officer: “Major McLane, here is an order from TRAV** for you.”

    C. A. McL.: “Thank you darling…” (dismissive nod) “Thank you.
    No. This is… Villa’s alive”
    T. J.: “What??”
    C. A. McL.: “Yes, he and his staff reached his country house on Gordon. But Lindley and his crew didn’t make it.”
    T. J.: “Yes, but why…?”
    C. A. McL.: “Villa is on board of the Zephir. He’ll be here in 3 days.
    I’ve been ordered to an ORB meeting.”

  66. When it comes time to dance, I just pick up my pants, and lean back, lean back, lean back…

  67. It sort of reminds me of the “Thriller” dance. Also, that I love German. Put the word “squirrel” into Google Translate, I dare you; it sounds like the noises you make when you chew on sheetrock.

  68. I would love to get together with some friends and learn that dance. Then take it public and watch for the reaction.

  69. I truly don’t understand why you can talk about drinking with a mental disorder. Many people who have trouble also suffer from alcohol abuse. The alcohol seems to just exacerbate the condition. It is not at all funny to be drinking when you have a mental disorder. What gives? I love your books, but am so disappointed with your trend to advocate drinking, ever.

    (People who have mental illness are on a spectrum and some can drink and some can’t…just like people without mental illness. I have my shrink’s full permission and I am a cheap drunk so a single cocktail is usually enough to make me ridiculously giddy. I fully support people not drinking because I think that’s a very healthy choice, but so is jogging and yoga and veganism and I don’t do any of those either. I appreciate the concern though. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  70. The subscription is working, I am very grateful for this new delivery of my therapy! Thank you

  71. I am imagining the couple is talk about the dancers…
    “Don’t look at them or they’ll attack us! Just act natural…”

  72. I’m fairly certain the whole dance is an imitation of ostriches. The ‘hands on the bum’ is like when they spin with their wings flat against their sides, the hand bumping is like when they stand still and alternate wings like they’re doing the hokey pokey, and the neck thing is so totally an ostrich greeting. Or maybe i just watch too much PBS/NatGeo/AnimalPlanet for my own good.

  73. Glad you solved the problem for us Jaba. We just have to stop drinking and we’ll never get depressed again. Sheesh. She probably drinks to deal with comments like that.

  74. “Because if you can’t dance well you should at least dance entertainingly.”

    I believe i have finally found my new email signature famous person quote. Awesome. Thank you!

  75. The joy, confusion and discomfort this video brought to me was worth getting out of bed this morning.

  76. Some of those moves made me think of Beyonce… I’m pretty sure that if she could move that’s what she’d do.

  77. I am also a terrible dancer AND a terrible singer, but that doesn’t stop me from dancing and singing. My coworkers know I have my own mental illness problems that I’m dealing with. As long as I’m laughing and smiling and still getting my work done,they are OK with heing serenaded by me with “Roxanne” every single time it is played on the store’s radio. I also do a mean Axl Rose

  78. Isadora’s speech in 1903 received a great deal of publicity and there was an outpouring of support for her ideas. She had established the art of Modern Dance.

  79. at least 3 times a year- every year since college- someone sends me your blog post about acquiring Beyonce chicken because they stumble on it and it reminds them of me. What does that mean? I like to think it means we are both awesome.

  80. I really have to stop reading you at work! I’m a librarian and I find myself making odd noises as I try to hold in my giggles. Thank you for making me feel normal.

  81. Has someone translated this yet? If not, here’s the translation (I have no idea how the names are spelled). Also, this is a cult series in Germany, so don’t shit on it! 😀

    Woman: “You never had liked the secret service before.”
    Man: “There is one exception.”
    Woman: “Willer was a good guy and a great boss. I still can’t believe it.”
    Man: “Willer was smarter than many others. I will never forget that he gave me the special permission for the launch to Chroma, back when the whole ORB knew nothing but war. Willer, as cold as he was, was something of an idealist, a space pacifist. I hope his successor isn’t the other extreme.”
    Woman: “If this is an attempt to get information from me, you’re out of luck. This is such a big secret, no one knows anything.”
    2nd woman: “Major MacClane, there is an order from Tracht for you.”
    Man: “Thanks, honey. No this is – Willer lives! he managed to get to Gordon with his officers! Only Lindi and the enlisted men seem to be dead…”
    Woman: “But why…”
    Man: “Willer is on board of the C shuttle and will be here in three days. I have to go to a meetnig of the ORB.”

  82. …. I feel like I’ve seen this movie, some insomnia-filled night while flipping channels.

    Which is also how I saw Aeon Flux (the animated series that came out ages before the movie), and Ly-Ly-Ly-Lydia, and MTV Alternative Hour (in the early 90’s, when Detachable Penis and Can You See What I’m Saying were popular).

  83. I just showed this to my husband and 10 year old son. Husband asked me where I find these things, and my son and I did some of the steps.

    I’m so glad he’s taking after me.

  84. If pterodactyls took absynthe, this would be theor dance. This is hilarious. As always, thanks for sharing

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