If your ADD is as bad as mine you should like this.

It only took me about 8 years but I finally set up a way for you to subscribe to this blog so you don’t miss important things, like this post telling you that you probably missed this post since you aren’t subscribed.

What do you get with your subscription?  I HAVE NO IDEA.

Honestly, my tech is not tight so that’s why I’m doing this post as a test for those of you who are testing it on Facebook right now.  I’m pretty sure all you get is an email saying something like, “Hey, Jenny just wrote a new post.  Go read it so you feel better about yourself in comparison.  That bitch is crazy-cakes.”  I’m paraphrasing, but you get the picture.

If you want to subscribe, just go down on the left sidebar beneath the sloth infuser mug and click the button.

PS. I just realized that “the sloth infuser mug” implies that you are infusing sloth into your mug and that’s probably not accurate, but the sloth ass is the part that hangs in your mug so technically it’s infusing tea and sloth.

PPS.  Someone on twitter asked me why the audio cd of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is like $120 and I thought they were insane but turns out that it is $120 and that’s because the actual CDs are now out of print so now they’re being scalped.  I can’t imagine that they are actually worth $120 but if you bought a set before they went out of print you should feel very happy with your investment.  And you can still buy it digitally and on audible and all that jazz.  The CD’s of Furiously Happy are still available for significantly less than $120.  $120 is crazy.  For $120 I’ll come read to you personally.  But I’ll read someone else’s book because I’ve already read mine.  Maybe Goodnight Moon or Go The Fuck To Sleep.

112 thoughts on “If your ADD is as bad as mine you should like this.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. My A.D.D. is at least as bad as yours. In fact, it’s so bad that … wait … what were we just talking about?
    (Also: Sending you $120 to come read to my family. “Go the Fuck to Sleep” works … as long as you don’t mind us all going the fuck to sleep in the middle of your reading.)

  2. I’m a new follower of your blog after reading Furiously Happy. I’ve been “subscribed” to your blog and getting your posts in my email since you were in Los Angeles on your tour. The message I get usually has your entire post in it and I can click a link to add a comment or see all comments. :). My ADD is bad. Like bad, bad. I think you posted in your book about how in the world a person with ADD is supposed to remember to take their meds. Totally me. Then j Durante companies want to screw with you and not pay for your currents meds until you have tried the immediate relapse meds that you have to take 2-3 times a day. Train wreck. Ugh. Tangent. I think I need to go take my meds now. Thanks for the reminder!

    (So basically my ADD is so bad that I forgot that I already had some subscription thing set up? Jesus. I need more meds. ~ Jenny)

  3. That was supposed to be “insurance companies” not “J Durante” companies….I told myself to do spell check and completely forgot as I was focusing on making myself remember to take my meds.

    Gah – not immediate relapse meds either – immediate RELEASE.

  4. I’d like an infusion of sloth today, I’ve been far too productive. I did get the notice on WordPress that you posted, but I stopped getting email notices a while ago. I’m sure it was my own user error but I will definitely sign up.

    Sincerely, one of your MOFOs.

  5. Now that I think about it, it may be a WordPress users perk. Maybe now anyone can sign up and not have to have a WordPress account to get the email notifications. I think my email notifications came from WordPress.

  6. I was thinking, “Why doesn’t my doctor give me relapse drugs? Maybe I really need those. Maybe THAT is why I’m so confused!” But, I guess that’s not a thing

  7. If I have ADD it’s because of my kids but yes, I’m now signed up through WordPress and I think everything just might be okay.

  8. For old people like me who like RSS readers you’ve had a way to subscribe for years, you just didn’t know about it! Surprise! 😛 I don’t know what the new way is but the old way still seems to be working so that’s good. If maybe confusing.

  9. I read the first couple lines of this post and thought to myself how awesome it was that I am already subscribed and I can share with the world how to subscribe to your fabulous posts. Then I realized that I have completely forgotten how I went about subscribing. So thanks for sharing with your friendly fans and followers how to get such lovely tidbits in their emails.

  10. It worked! I haven’t taken my ADD meds yet so I’m feeling all accomplished now. Maybe I’ll go take my meds and work on solving world hunger since I’m so flush with success. 🙂

  11. If you wouldn’t mind, would you please record yourself reading “Go The Fuck To Sleep” so I can play it nightly to my husband who has insomnia and is giving it to me? Thanks. You’re a pal.

  12. I will absolutely pay you $120 to come and read “Go The Fuck To Sleep” to me and then another $120 to read it to my friend’s baby who is due to be here any day now and without a doubt will need to have “Go The Fuck To Sleep” read to him many times before he finally grasps the concept. Can you read it in a Samuel L. Jackson voice, please? I think you’ve found your new calling! Oh, and by the way, I’m subscribed! 🙂

  13. I’ve been subscribed through Facebook for quite a while. Your posts show up on my News Feed and I get an email with at least a couple of paragraphs or sometimes all of your post and a link to the real thing. It’s awesome. Beneath the sloth it says “You are following this blog, you bad-ass.” Or maybe I’m following you through Facebook AND WordPress or something. Anyway, I know what you’re up to at all times.

  14. You absolutely need to travel around to public libraries reading Go The Fuck To Sleep to adoring audiences! I would pay $120 for a group read!

  15. Jenny… I’d pay to have you read “Go the F**K to Sleep” to me. Actually, I have both audiobooks, and a lot of the time I just close my eyes and pretend that you’re reading to JUST me. It’s lovely. (Slightly crazy and delusional, maybe, but still lovely).

  16. Jenny, your voice on plastic discs has a better investment value than gold. Please tell Victor. Then come back here and tell us all about it. Thanks.

  17. I signed up. I’m glad you thought of this. I don’t always have time to stalk you on Facebook and Twitter.

  18. Already following your blog through blogger. That’s the same thing as subscribing right? But would happily pay you $120 to come to my house to read your book. Or we could just watch Doctor Who, and play with my dollhouse and bjds (all unfinished because ADD) because reading aloud is too much like social interaction

  19. I just have to say that I would pay $120 to have you come and read Go The Fuck to Sleep to me and my kids. Seriously.

  20. This is absolutely hilarious. I kind of want you to read something Dr. Seuss related. Comical.

  21. I get your stuff they all variety of media, so I obviously subscribed to something at some time. (In any other era, I would probably be considered a stalker.) But it’s great that other people can now easily do the same. Yay technology!

  22. I already get notices when you post on all sorts of media, so obviously I subscribed to something at some time. (In another era, I would probably be considered a stalked. A friendly one. Who probably isn’t going to do anything dangerous cuz I’m too much of a wuss. And a fangirl.) But great that other people can now attempt to achieve that same level of stalkerism. Yay technology!
    I tried to post this comment from my phone, but the internets ate it. Boo, technology!
    I believe I might have had an infusion of sloth since Christmas. All I want to do it lay on the sofa and not move and let people bring me things to eat and drink, at least when I can con them into it. Yep, definitely and infusion of sloth.

  23. If I subscribed after you posted this, i wonder if ill get notified?
    So many exciting adventures!

  24. I… I really want some crazy cakes right now. I imagine they’re like Little Debbie zebra cakes, but with berry jam inside.

  25. Um, really……have you met us? You should probably not offer to come read to us if we pay you. I think MOST of us would take you up on that…I mean, when I read it, I was like ‘$120!!! That’s all?!’

  26. Is that even a market? You can get every other kind of service delivered to your home……why not a librarian too? Someone to read ME to sleep for once….

  27. I’d probably pay $120 if you could just call me and read the phone book for 20 minutes. Wait. Do they still make phone books? Or you could read junk mail, because if your ADD is like mine, you always think about unsubscribing or recycling junk mail, but you don’t. And then how would you know about all the amazing things out there that you could be buying?
    Anyway, just take my money.

  28. Can I pay you to read me the books on ADD and time management/organization I keep procrastinating/forgetting about?

  29. Also… http://www.worldcat.org/title/furiously-happy-a-funny-book-about-horrible-things/oclc/915747658 is a list of the 305 libraries in the world who currently own Furiously Happy in audio CD format. YOU’RE WELCOME. And if you don’t have access to those libraries or consortia (which are, like, library hive minds), it would be pretty worth talking to your library to see if your library can finagle it from one of them, just for you. Might have to wait for it to come off the new/reserve lists, though. Which, knowing this wonderful book, might take a while. So it might be worth the $120 for you, I dunno. (Proud ILL librarian here!)

  30. So I think you’re underselling your skills here, but I will take advantage. Please come and read to me. I will pay $120. I will even pay it in US dollars, which is like $13,000 AUD. Hmm….now that I said that, it seems an irresponsible way to spend my money. But I am sure my family will forgive me once you arrive and start reading and swearing at them. I live in Sydney. Totally going to cost you more to get here than it will cost me to pay you to come here, but that’s your fault for not putting disclaimers on your offer to come read to me for $120. See you soon. If it makes you feel any better, I will have pancakes and coffee waiting when you arrive and I will read Goodnight Moon to you to help with your jet lag.

  31. I’ve also had a “subscription” to your blog for ages- through a feed called Bloglovin’. I just open Bloglovin and there are the latest posts from AL my favorite bloggers!

  32. Jenny, I will totally give you $120 to come read me Go The Fuck To Sleep. I’ve already heard you read both your books. 🙂

  33. It says that I am following this blog. Which I thought I was. So. We’re back at square one where we are both a little off. Well, I’m a lot off, but I’m trying to be polite.

  34. Having a bad “depression day” so this made me feel a little better. Thanks. Now I don’t have to scroll through Facebook posts about cats and Kardashians to find you.

  35. My ADD may or may not be as bad as yours, but either way, I have no fallback career of touring the country reading books to people at $120 a pop. Which you clearly can do now. (I’m not sure how cost effective it would be, scheduling-wise. You’d pretty much want to arrange them geographically, so as to maximize your reads-per-day. But even so, just three reads in a day would more than cover most U.S. travel, at least. I could be wrong, though, so don’t base any long-term plans around this rambling comment.)

  36. I just use RSS feeds, IFTTT, and Safari Reading List. Email is an absolute hassle in comparison.

    I was about to say I could explain it to anyone who replied to this comment and wanted me to, but then I realized there is no reply button. Could we get a reply button and have ridiculously long comment chains? That would be great.

  37. But….RSS? How have I been getting notifications of your posts all this time? …..AM I A GOD?

  38. So do I PayPal the $120? Would you consider Where the Wild Things Are, or is your reading list limited?

  39. How come you don’t have your own tv show…like late night? (I mean other than wanting to hide under a table now and then.) You crack me up with your ideas/thoughts. Love them, Love you!

  40. Furiously happy to finally have a subscription and have you in my inbox…wait, what? That’s didn’t come out right! (That’s what she said, ba-dum-bump) Sorry, couldn’t resist.

  41. So I’m missing the subscribe here link instructions part. I’m pretty sure I already subscribe to all the things.
    Although I really have no way to check. #distracted

  42. Just wanted you to know how much I appreciated you putting “mofos” on the enter button. We had a dial on the warmer at my last restaurant job that said “160 mofos!” on the proper setting and it made me laugh each and every time I saw it.

  43. I want a cd of me reading shit to be scalped for $120. But then I suppose I’d first need to write something worth reading on cd. THERE IS ALWAYS A FUCKING CATCH. GOD.

  44. can I seriously hire you to read me a book for $120?? Cause that’s totally what I want for my birthday this summer =D

  45. I’ve always been subscribed to you with my blogger.com account. It’s not limited to blogs on their platform. I have several blogs from other platforms that show up in my dashboard there.

    I need you to come read furiously happy to me for $120, because I keep getting too tired to read it on my own.

  46. A subscription button! It’s all I ever wanted in life. Seriously, every time I read the blog, I look around thinking I missed it. I’m so glad it’s here!

  47. Doesn’t everyone have you saved on their bookmark toolbar so they can click on it everyday while they drink their coffee??

  48. I’ll totally pay $120 to have you read me “Go The Fuck To Sleep.” When can we set that up?

  49. I would pay $120 for you to read me Go the Fuck to sleep. I’ll even supply the book! Is it weird that I have that book and no children at all?… Asking for a friend…. Yeah, a friend.

  50. Noooooo!!! What have you done?
    I’m reading your blog through Feedly using the RSS feed and the post always showed up in full. Now (this post) I only see the first paragraph and have to click through to see the rest. Please change it back to the way it was!! (It’s probably an easy setting like “allow full post in RSS feed”.


  51. I would pay the 120$ for you to come to my house, and read whatever book you want! Do you fancy a little trip to South of France? We have a swimming pool… ok, you can bring your family too! 🙂

  52. This is why I love my RSS reader, I can just plug in all the websites I want to keep up with and they’re all in one convenient place for me to go through and catch up with! 😀

  53. I was subscribed to the RSS feed for your blog and it usually pull down the entire post into my email client so I could read it whenever convenient. Now it just shows the first couple of lines and a link.

  54. Another feedly reader here for whom the post only shows up truncated. Fix, please?

  55. Oh great. Now you’re gonna show up on search engines whenever I type sloth ass.

  56. I figured out how to add the subscribe feature pretty early on, and after three months, I’m up to ten subscribers! Seven of them are related to me by blood or marriage. Sigh.
    Maybe… Could I borrow that sloth tea infuser?

  57. weirdly, now i have to click over here from feedly (yes, still RSSing it) where i used to be able to read the entire post from there. you’ve just fucked with my ADD, girl. fortunately, it’s super pink over here, so that’s value-ADDed.

  58. I think you need to set up an app for this. You reading bedtime stories that we can select for download. The Downton Abbey guy is doing a serialized novel via installments on an app so please do that too…..I’m very bossy. 🙂

  59. I’m so totally in for my $120 read to me. Best money I will spend in 2016, guaranteed!!! Can we also pre-purchase later readings at that price? I’d like to give them as Christmas presents for all my friends. Because my ADD combines well with my OCD, giving me the awesome ability to plan ahead and then forget it later. Think of all the nitelite (sp) backpacks these readings will buy! It’s really a Herculean humanitarian effort on your part…thanks for being part of the solution!!!
    Love your heart like the Tardis, it’s bigger on the inside!!!

  60. Hell yah got me some wicked ADD, but I must have missed something about why I would like it… Because it took a year? I’m confused but then I’m easily confused. A year isn’t a long time to get something done. I think it’s goldilocks. We are birds of a feather, but then I think of flock of seagulls and old concerts I went to with The Police. Did you know Sting has the same birthday as me? Probably not ADD though, but the awesome cellist from the Piano Guys is. I collect ADD people, like a hobby, and they don’t get all judgey judgington on you, like some other people I know. Will you come to my house too and read a book. Not go the fuck to sleep though, if you come over I think a rip roaring pj party should be planned. My dog can stand guard so no need for ninjas, but ninjas could be fun, if you think about it, without the real need for one. Unfortunately I will not be subscribing because my New Years resolution is to get rid of the several hundred emails I receive on a daily basis. They always seem like a good idea at that time, but that is always only a minute or two after I click confirm but then takes a lifetime to repair, like am std I imagine because I’ve never thankfully had an std but that’s what I’ve heard.
    So when can you come? Will it cost more if I invite friends? How do you feel about musical numbers that include jazz hands?

  61. Yeah, we’d also pay $120 for you to read to us. Like when Marian Call did her house concert tour (and still does sometimes), you could do a house reading tour. Though that means more traveling for you, so I guess not. But maybe via Skype? <3

  62. I would subscribe, but then it’s just one more email that I will ignore on my quest to have the worlds largest unread inbox. I stalk you everyday anyway, so I think I know before you do, when you’re going to post something new. Not creepy at all.

  63. this is my second attempt to post (I want to say… are you screening my messages, but totally that would take you a super long time, longer than the year it took you to add the subscribe thing, which really is just Goldilocks when you think of it) I also want to mention that I thought someone above told you to go fuck sheep, and then I re-read it because that would just be rude, and why would someone even want to read your blog if that’s the kind of shit that they respond with, so glad it wasn’t true. Also, not subscribing because my new years resolution is to unsubscribe from as many emails as possible, before I forget that it was my new years resolution, which should be about any day now, so maybe i will end up subscribing after all. Please come and read a book to me for $120 (is that $USD? What exchange rate will you be giving us Canadians?) Do you have to read a book, or can we just have a pajama party instead? Does it cost more if we bring friends? Feel free to bring your own friends as well, stuffed or otherwise, as long as it isn’t friends that you have previously told to go stuff themselves, because that could still be a bone of contention and might spoil the party atmosphere. That just reminded me that my kids thought I said boner tension one day when I said that, which is totally true as well if you think about it. Is there a limit to these message, like twitter, because that’s really hard to get your message down to 140 characters. Maybe that’s why my last post got lost somewhere, but I suspect it was my iPad conspiring against my once again. Have a good day!

  64. Someone else mentioned this, so I’m chiming in, too: I was subscribed to the RSS feed for your blog and it used to show the entire post in my RSS client (NetNewsWire) so I could read it whenever. Now it just shows the first couple of lines and a link. Slightly less awesome, but I’m not going anywhere. I need you MoFos.

  65. Geez, thank you, I DID forget to take my meds this morning, and I don’t even have ADD. At least I don’t think I do…do I?

  66. One of my friends shared an amazing thing on Facebook today, I laughed and instantly thought of The Bloggess and all of you wonderful folks who enjoy her as much as I. So in the spirit of the first book, saluting the loyal audio book owners among us, I bring you an entire TAXIDERMIED MICE CHESS SET: http://dangerousminds.net/

  67. Hi, I’m reading Furiously Happy right now and it’s awesome. You’re so brave to talk as openly as you do. I know that mental illness is common, and nothing to be ashamed that of, but I am still completely embarrassed by it. I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder (often described as perfectionism), executive function disorder, and ADD, with a tendency toward self-mutilation. I am in treatment and have been stable for a while now. It’s such a silent community that it was amazing to find your book and blog. You make me feel less alone. On that note, I just wanted to submit one tiny grammatical correction: “the myriad of spots I could become lost,” on page 238. It’s an incredibly common mistake, but ‘myriad’ is actually an adjective; therefore, the correct phrase would be, “the myriad spots wherein I could become lost.” Thank you again for your bravery!

  68. I love you people. And it worked! WHAT?

    The downside is that some of you used to get the whole feed through a burner and now you get a truncated version with a link to the rest. That’s because we found out that a bunch of scrapers were pirating my posts using RSS and the only way to stop them is to do it this way. Let’s try it for a month to see how it works and get the scrapers away and then we’ll look again and see if it’s okay to keep it this way? Also, I added the “like” feature on comments but I don’t know if it’s working. I think anyone with wordpress or anyone subscribed to the blog can like stuff. I’d like to make it where anyone can like stuff but I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.

  69. Now if only they’d invent the “Import Posts Directly into Your Funny Center” button.

    Unfortunately, I’d probably end up laughing so hard I’d drive off an overpass.

  70. Looks like I came too late to the party–again. Well, you know what they say. When you drop-kicked your jacket as you came through the door no one glared, but sometimes things get turned around and no one’s spared.
    Sorry, didn’t mean to get all Mr. Belvedere on you there. All I meant to say is that if I can get a notification that says “That bitch is crazy-cakes” every time you post something SIGN ME UP.

    And if it’s just a notification that says there’s a new post here, well, that’d be moderately okay too. We just might live the good life yet.

  71. Yay I like that I can subscribe to know when you post. I also love reading the comments. My ADD is in top form today. This is my thought process while going through this post: yay we can subscribe. Wait we could before. Awe a sloth. Hey there’s stars now. Oh cool how did someone get there post to be blue that’s awesome. It’s Jenny’s that makes sense. Hey there’s stars now. I want to see that sloth again. I totally want it but feel bad that if I ever meet a live sloth I would have to confess that I boil the bottom half of an infuser sloth to have tea and they look sad enough already.
    Have a good one everyone✌️

  72. DANG. I accidentally purchased one of those CD books (in addition to an actual book AND a Kindle version AND winning an advance publishers’ reading copy).

  73. I tried to like, but it says I need to log in with Word Press. Which I took to mean “Why have you not started that blog everyone bugs you about” and now I feel like I should have a blog. Then you could read about how I had to open the chicken coop to maybe let a muskrat out. Or an Otter. Possibly a really really cold turtle.

    I think I have ADD too. I am easily distracted. And I would totally pay you $120 to read Go the Fuck to Sleep, can we also get a reading of “You Have to Fucking Eat” too?

  74. With that “$120 to read a book” offer, does that include your own transportation and lunch or is that extra?

  75. Also have been using Feedly for years and like others have said, I now have to click on the post to bring me to your site to read the whole post. Before, the post just showed up in its entirety in Feedly

  76. Will you come to my house and read me Crazy Hair? Blueberry Girl? Anything by Neil Gaiman really.
    I’ll subscribe soon, but right now I cherish the habit of going “Oh, I am bummed out, I wonder if Jenny wrote something that will make fluids come out of my nose.”

  77. I found the subscribe button today! Yay. Yesterday I was too stupid. Probably the vodka.

  78. I read your posts through my Reader on WordPress. Works dandy. Now it seems I have to click out of my Reader and go to your actual site. It wasn’t that way before was it? Smart, and not that I mind, but it was a bit cantankerous (meaning your site wouldn’t load from the redirect earlier). Seems fine now. I decided to comment from my Reader though because it seems comfortable to me. Now I wonder… if by chance I say something remarkable and you comment, will WordPress notify me the same way as it would when I interact with other (less famous) WordPress bloggers?

  79. “Jenny Lawson – That bitch is crazy-cakes”

    Theres your next tshirt, id wear it, even if just to set off the politically correct mob that prevails in
    society here and elsewhere around the world.

    Not surprised your audiobooks are being scalped, i used to think my eyes were the best way to consume books until i heard you reading them! Now id pay you to read the ingredients on the side of all my groceries if could…

  80. Hi Jenny, I just finished your new book Furiously Happy which I learned about via goodreads. I did some questions there for the neverending quiz on your book. I logged in here as I think your ADD may be due to Multiple Chemical Sensitivity like mine is. There is a big clinic near Dallas that can help you. If you go there please write a book about it as I would love it. I want all gory details and I also feel sure it would help you to leave Toxic Texas! I lived there for nearly 30 years – its poisonous there.

  81. Done! This will save me having to stop by everyday to see if you’ve posted. I look forward to continued fun, sharing and weirdness. Is winter over yet?

  82. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153374377538963&set=a.10153296741768963.1073741832.745733962&type=3

    I just subscribed my daughter, who recently was at one of your book readings/signing in NYC and got me Furiously Happy signed by you for Christmas! And I totally know that what you wrote in my book is so true: “Your daughter is FAB!” This gift provided a deep moment of connection, and brought tears to our eyes! It also continues to provide laughter, as well as insights into random ridiculous stuff! Thank you so much! iliana

  83. Wait hold up I would pay you like $10,000 to come read to me had this been an option this whole time?!

  84. You could make a killing reading books at $120 a pop. Hell, I’d come to your town, buy you a coffee (or whatever), bring you crazy cakes (i love the zebra cakes with jam idea), and give you $120 to read anything of your choice to me!

  85. This update seems to have broke RSS for me? I used to get the whole post and now I just get a line or two.

    Other people’s mileage may vary, but I’m actually less likely to read the post and come comment now. :-/

  86. YIPPEEEEE!!! I’ve been waiting for you to do the subscribe thing for ages! Now I’ll NEVER miss a post! Thanks!!!

  87. Ok so my boyfriend and my three year old niece read Goodnight Moon and laughed for like forty five minutes yesterday because apparently Goodnight Moon is the funniest book ever written? I just thought you should know that. My niece kept flipping to the goodnight mittens page and saying it and giggling like a fool. It was brilliant.

  88. I LOVE “Go the Fuck to Sleep!” But I’d never be able to go to sleep if you were reading it to me! Thank you for making the subscription obvious and easy…been trying for months (before the ‘Furiously Happy’ tour ) and just ended up keeping your website open and hitting it every few minutes hoping to find my advice and enabling for the day! Not like you’re in charge of making my day easy, or anything… but it would be nice if you were. Somebody should be.

  89. I am reading Furiously Happy and Let’s Forget This Ever Happened right now(What does that tell you about me.). It’s a relief to finally read something that makes sense, for a change. My son called me up and told me I had to get Furiously Happy because the woman is just like me. Think he related to the dead animals around the house. He still hasn’t forgiven me for ruining things for him when he had a party when his father and I went out of town. One of the girls went into the freezer to get ice and pulled out a frozen bat and squirrel. I’d found both dead in the driveway, thought maybe they had rabies, and meant to call animal control but moved on to another idea and left them in there, but anyway, love, love both books, but am getting them a little mixed up now.

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