You know those candy hearts that taste like cancer and that have somewhat needy and trite things written on them? I fucking hate those. Which is why I glared at Victor when he handed me one. Then I read it and took back everything I’ve ever said about them.
WHEN DID THEY START MAKING THESE FOR REAL PEOPLE?
(Real people = introverts and hermits.)
Victor said he looked for one that would be a better fit but he couldn’t find one that said “MR. WHISKERS LUVS U 2.” And that’s what Valentines Day is all about. Being with someone who gets you. And overpriced commercial bullshit. But that’s another post.
PS. I can’t find who made this first to credit them but it’s the best Valentine’s Day card I’ve seen all year.
PPS. “Mr. Whiskers” is one of the outdoor cats that lives in our neighborhood. It’s not a nickname for a penis. That would be a super gross nickname. I’m not even sure why I’m having to clarify this.
And now, the weekly wrap-up:
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- Want a signed copy of my books inscribed to you? Click here. Also, yes, I will write “knock knock, motherfucker” in your book. Just ask.
- What I’m reading: If you like zombie novels you’ll probably enjoy Cured. I’m ready for the next one. A ton of people recommended The Girl With All the Gifts so I’m starting that today.
- Good company, y’all.
- That crab’s got a knife and will cut you and I think I want to be best friends with it:
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