I am a goddam fashionista.

You know those bloggers who write about jackets and foot clothes and hair things?  The fashiony people?  I never entirely got their deal until I discovered the joy of collecting purses.  I mean, technically, they’re just coin purses and I didn’t really “collect” them so much as I just bought the set because they were cheaper that way, but still?  BEST PURSES EVER.  Because they have cat faces on them and when I hold them up to my face when I ask Victor to make me a milkshake I suddenly have a face than no one can say no to.  Look:

"Call me 'Mittens'."
“Call me ‘Mittens’.”

But then Victor did say no because he doesn’t love kittens and he’s maybe not even human or something.  But I’ve been walking around the house taking pictures of the cats wearing cat masks and it is the best thing ever.  Even Dorothy Barker looks adorable:

"Woof."
“Woof.”

And Hunter S. Thomcat:

It's like my cat is dressed up as my cat.
It’s like my cat is dressed up as my cat.

Ferris Mewler actually grabbed one and tried to groom it but I took it away from him because it looked like he’d ripped off another cat’s head and was showing off his gross trophy.  Then I took this video of Ferris giving me a go-to-hell look and if you look closely enough at it you can lip-read him saying, “Bitch?  Fuck you.”  It’s impressive and terrifying.

And then Victor yelled at me for freaking the cats out and for buying coin purses when I don’t even have any coins to put in them.  And I thought that maybe he had a point, but then I realized that, no, he was way wrong:

Honestly, it's like it was made for him. He disagrees. Whatever.
Honestly, it’s like it was made for him. He disagrees. Whatever.

PS. You can buy them here.

 

 

112 thoughts on “I am a goddam fashionista.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Years ago, my mother-in-law gave us a life-size ceramic cat figurine. Our cat slapped that statue every time he walked by. I had to put it in the closet. The statue, not the cat.

  2. This is my most favorite post of yours. Ever. AND I AM NOT A CAT PERSON. You and Victor remind me of the Hubby and me. I just can’t even with this. This rocks so hard. I want all the kitty purses now. I love you. That is all.

  3. That is SOOO Victor!! How awesome! I would like to know how Victor made that coyote face pouch for your dad cause I have a coyote face I need to do something with😂

  4. Those are awesome. My crazy cat lady 12 yo daughter needs those. That first one frightens me though, it looks like Kitty Galore before she was de-furred.

  5. Um, Jenny…I don’t think Ferris Mewler told you to, “Fuck off.” I’m pretty sure he just called you an asshole. I know that asshole goes through glass, so I’m pretty sure that means it goes through screens too. I mean, you know him better than I do. I just read something different on his lips than you did.

    Also, I once visited an aunt in a mental health facility where a lady wandered the visiting room asking everyone if they had seen her coin purse. Repeatedly. I wonder if she may have been you…and you traveled back in time to change your future so I could see you and warn you of what will happen if you don’t curb your coin purse obsession. You’re welcome! Have a nice day!

  6. They remind me of Kabuki masks. You all could be in Japanese theatre. I find it kind ironic though, putting cat masks on cats, but they DO like to play dress-up, or so I’ve been told.

  7. I love the description at Amazon. Especially “Its plump and unique form makes you fun.” I’m going to have to buy them.

  8. My mom inherited a bunch of creepy cat-head cookie jars. She keeps trying to pawn them off on me when she dies. I want NO part of those things…

  9. Just ordered them! Your posts always seem to magically arrive in my inbox just when I need a stress antidote and the posts always make me laugh my a** off! (Ok. WISH I could laugh my a**actually off, but it’s still there. And sometimes I accidentally kick it when I run. (I know, I don’t run))

  10. I’m officially calling shoes “foot clothes” from now on because that is exactly what they are. I think we should also call Mirriam-Webster and get it added into the dictionary.

  11. This is the best fashion. Victor just doesn’t understand.

    (Unrelated, I’m so sad the camera on my phone doesn’t work. I was in a bookstore today, and there was a front-facing copy of Furiously Happy right next to a book called BADASS Civil War Beards (but the “badass” part was written much larger and more legibly than the rest). And another copy of Furiously Happy was just after the book Fake Swears. I don’t know; it amused me anyway.)

  12. My grandma always said you have to make room in your life so that there’s a space for the good things to come in. So by her logic, maybe you don’t have any change because you didn’t have a change purse with room for it?

  13. I bought one just like that for my partner, only it was a dog (y’know, one that’s the Shibu Inu “doge” meme) – it made me laugh for days as I waited for it to arrive. Totally worth it.

    I am also a big fan of all the Blue Q coin purses / pouches / etc! I have the “Weed Money” one.

  14. Damn, Ferris! If looks could kill!!! (shudders)
    Love the James Garfield photobomb of Mittens. I think he needs his own coin purse…

  15. I would like a bunch of the orange cat faces so I could have them all around the house. I miss my 19 yr old kitty who went to Rainbow Bridge a few months ago.

  16. Purrfect. is shot
    The only coin purse I have is a Totoro. Technically it’s probably my daughter’s but it always hangs out in the parent’s room haha

  17. Those are such cute litt[e purses! I wish there were dog ones too! But I am mostly commenting because you actually have less than 200 comments right now so there is a chance you might read this one. Just wanted to let you know I read your last book (I borrowed it from the library, and actually it is way overdue right now, but it is sort of okay because my library doesn’t charge fines unless you’re so late that they think you should just own it) and I love it, your stories always make me literally LOL.And sometimes even ROFL. I have lived with depression and anxiety most of my life, plus I have autism, plus ADHD, plus probably other things that they just didn’t tell me about yet.

  18. Dying.Just howling with laughter. Inside. The Spouse is asleep. Would hate to interrupt his snoring…

  19. Dying.Just howling with laughter. Inside. The Spouse is asleep. Would hate to interrupt his snoring…

  20. Aha! Still with the wackiness on the devices that are not actual computers.

    Crap.

    Went back an read your post again. I feel better! Dying with the inside laughter.

  21. Better be careful. Victor might appropriate that photo to hold up to you every time y’all have an argument, to try to sap your will in arguing against him. 🙂

  22. It’s almost midnight, I’m exhausted but I can’t go to bed because I have the hiccups and THIS IS THE BEST POST EVER. The picture of Victor made me laugh out loud and for a second I thought my hiccups were cured, but nope. sigh Thank you for the giggle.

  23. OMG. That is probably the best thing ever. If I had one of those coin purses I would just hold it up in front of my face, like opera glasses kind of thing all the time. All the time.

  24. I don’t understand all the Ferris hate. He’s CLEARLY saying “I Love You” and then giving you the slow blink which means “I won’t eat your face if you die in the night even if the kitty bitz bowl is empty”. What beautiful green eyes he has.
    Meow meow meow

  25. This is amazing! I loved how ironic that shot at the end was… I can’t stop laughing.

  26. I prefer coin plusses. And even though I thought it couldn’t be possible, I love you even more than before.

  27. Aaaghhhh! And they have bigger ones too! Why does amazon not accept paypal and I don’t have a credit card? (for good reasons, i might add, the no credit card thing. But damn…)

  28. My house is always filled with random men/boys, especially between 5:30 and 8:00 PM. If they’re here I feed them supper. Then I rush through dishes sweeping and cleanup to sit down for my “martini time” (unfortunately I never learned how to drink – my crowd grew weed so I can smoke my ass off …). In any case I’m old (59 yikes) so I just read for two hours or so and then go to sleep. I’ve been reading you for the past several days and the boys love it. I read passages out loud and they guffaw. But best of all I laugh until I’m crying and farting from the joy (eeuuuuuugh gross) and they think it’s better than ice cold beer ( THEY KNOW HOW RO DRINK). Thank you from all of us here. Please write more quickly … We’re all waiting with baited (does that mean smelling like worms?) breath. Love ya

  29. I love Victor. A real man loves his woman BECAUSE of all her lovely quirks. And he looks cute with a cat purse mask.

  30. Oh yeah, Hunter S. Thomcat looks really freaked out all curled up in his bed there. Victor, as usual, is projecting, although what he’s got to be freaked out about is beyond me. Does he have a memory problem that makes him forget who you are every day?

  31. Love. I can’t help but wonder what Victor’s “What The Fuck?” face looks like? I also wish I had collected faces of people with “What The Fuck?” faces. OH! I’m going to do that! Starting right now! You have the greatest ideas!

  32. Alas, I too am married to Grumpy Cat. It’s my cross to bear, lol 😜 Because of course I am the most fantastic human ever born. Again, lol.

  33. No coins? NO COINS!?! I thought Victor had learned not to tell you no on things like this. Beyoncé could become a rooster bank for all the coins you could put in him.

  34. First I have to tell you you are fucking amazing. Next I need to tell you if you’re in the red of a bff I AM YOUR GAL! We can swap our disorders like Pokemon (gotta collect them all ) thanks so much for all the laughs and some times tears.

  35. I have used cyberhacktivist1 gmail com quite a number of times and he has never disappointed me.He does all types of mobile hacks,get unrestricted and unnoticeable access to your partner/spouse,anybodies facebook account,Email,Watsapp.Text messages.Getting the job done is as simple as sending an email to cyberhacktivist1 gmail com stating what you want to do.

  36. I would like to argue that they can hold much more than coins so you have as many reasons to buy them as things you can think of to fit in them. I have one with glasses. It holds hair ties.

  37. As you know, YOU are always right, and Victor is always wrong. LOVE all of these photos! You’re always so awesome, Jenny. Thank you.

  38. yes! I just ordered two of each (to spread the love) on ebay, with paypal! Don’t you just love it when something you really want need NOW is so affordable!?? Free postage and everything. Now let’s hope they will arrive 😀

  39. So glad you’re back – I miss you when you don’t post for a bit. But completely understand. <3

  40. THAT VIDEO gave me MOTHER FUCKING CHILLS!!!! Ferris is coming after you…he is NOT playing around. HOLY SHIT BALLS!!!!

  41. So going to the video of Ferris lead me down the rabbit hole of your instagram (since I don’t have one) and I discovered that you have a cat that looks exactly like mine! The gray fluffy one named Rolly. Mine is named Stormy. My roommate keeps saying his fur is so weird (because it stands in clumps) but now we know that it’s an actual kind of cat, not some alien species masquerading as a cat!

  42. Hello Everyone,
    I have come to share my testimony.
    The best choices in life are mostly when you follow your heart , i am sure at least about 70% of people will agree with me on that but i still want to reach out to those who are in dire need of the half word.
    I have been married to a scammer for a little over 2 years and i did not realize it until i followed my heart. Truly i still love him, but deep down i just knew something was wrong. To cut everything short, i contacted a few people yeah of course through some of these ads all over the internet. And eventually i found out about the truth but it was only Jay (dotexedot82plus9@gmail dot com) that came through for me. Recovered some of my money but it wasn’t really about that.
    Just Follow your heart. Thank you for reading.

  43. my cat purses arrived today and i’m amusing the fuck out of myself. Best tip EVER! (Cats are not so sure about them, but who cares)

  44. Don’t waste your time looking for cheap service there in terms of hacking that’s why most people out there havent found solution to their Hack issues. Trust me, a lot have been swindled via this faceless scammers called hackers. I was a victim of these circumstance as well till I met custom consultant who is a bit of non-conformist but does delve into the dark side called hacking. He was straightforward and has proof of his jobs and finally I got my hacking issue resolved by him once and for all. He has handled other projects for me and as well working on another . If you need to get in touch You can get hold of him at CUSTOMCONSULTANT@OUTLOOK.COM.or contact 646(439)7925. DO say Perry referred you as he might not help if you don’t mention the referral. Just tell him Perry referred you.

  45. im not really in to this because there a lot of scammers now

    but this is real this hacker can buypass any firewall

    whatsapp facebook gmail highschoolgrades kik viber just name

    it cyberhacker2348@gmail.com is the guy he is reliable and is

    work is 100% sure and affordable

  46. Contact certified legit Cyber-wizard for your cyber service
    We hack anything when it comes to hacking,
    We do Change school grades.
    Facebook hack,
    Yahoo hack, Gmail hack, Outlook Hack etc
    We are database hack expert,
    Computer analyst and consultant,
    School transfer, Email hack,
    Bank logins, Dead fullz, WU transfer, Money Gram, Credit Transfer, Credit Wipe, repair credit report,
    Verified accounts for transfer
    For your all cyber work and hack. Email us at ballinhackings@gmail.com

  47. My name is Susan Mark, i was able to spy on my cheating ex-Husband phone without him finding out…..it really helped my lawyer during my divorce i have been scammed so many times but cyberhacklove is the best hacker i have met he helped me regain my freedom and lost money by scammers …you can contact cyberhacklove@gmail.com for spying and hacking phones,computer,email,Facebook and other social networks account,his services are cheap …cyberhacklove@gmail.com,please tell him Susan referred you.

  48. I Basically think we all don’t have to face all these deceit and lies from our spouse…
    in a case of mine wen i got sick and tired of all the lies and deceit i had to contact a
    friend of mine to get me the contact of one of the best hackers in the states..
    then i met cyberappshacker@gmail.com..He saved me from the lies of my cheating WIFE by hacking HER phone..
    Incase you need help with hacking any phone or account or other jobs..
    Tell him i reffered you.He will help you

  49. you can contact Dreymorgan49@gmail.com for your partners phone messages,
    all apps including whatsapp, gmail, yahoomail, hotmail, facebook, and so
    on to be revealed to you and be sure if your relationship/marriage isn’t
    crashing. Dreymorgan49@mail.com is really good, you can try him out…I
    can vouch for him, he has helped me put my relationship in order and now
    i’m happily married.+12566447235

  50. My girlfriend is a big time cheat and I was able to confirm that through the help of cyberphoneways@gmail.com
    I contacted them to help me hack into my girlfriend social media (Facebook,call log,imessage.Gmail) and discovered she was fucking her so called best friend, now I am happy and single and ready to move on thanks to cyberphoneways@gmail.com who did the hacking job for me
    Contact cyberphoneways@gmail.com and tell them Miguel referred you to them
    Please you don’t be worried they are quick and fast and reliable cause they have been tested and trusted.

  51. For your hacking services, i recommend cyberapphack. This hacker helped change my son’s school grades and also helped me out in hacking my wife’s phone and made to realize that she was cheating on me , he can bypass any phone, social media such as facebook, whatsapp, snapchat, kik, viber, skype, tango and others and he also sells cloned phones all he wiil need is just the number and your cloned phone is ready. contact at cyberapphack@gmail.com or text +1 848-200-1097

  52. I’ve lost thousands to these fake hackers, please don’t fall for any of them, it’s taken me months to find a genuine
    hacker. Thank you james! you and your crew are the bomb ,the work you did on my wife’s accounts was simply
    phenomenal! and i aint talking about just facebook 😉 turns out he shows you valid proof before payment. Hey if you ever need to get into your spouse’s account, improve credit points, clear criminal records,tax, protection from spyware or simply have a score to settle or any other issues that need addressing, completely secure and fast!! contact by

    email..jameshacking65@gmail.com….

  53. My wife was so smooth at hiding her infidelity so I had no proof for months, I was referred to some hacker and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating wife’s text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was wired directly to my cellphone. hackintechnology helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on her and I got concrete evidence and he showed me proof..if your spouse is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures Contact: hackintechnology@gmail.com

  54. Be warned most of these so called hackers are imposters, I have been ripped off twice already, thankfully my friend gave me a reliable contact, they work with discretion and deliver, they do all sort of hackings, (unrestricted and unniticeable
    access to your partner/spouse phone and PC). i will prefer to let their serivices speak for itself. you can contact them
    through their mail account (cyberhackinglord@gmail.com). they will also help you to hack and change university grades.
    that easy.

  55. My life was falling apart, I was being cheated and abused, I had to know the truth and needed proof. I contacted a private investigator that linked me with gadgethacksolution@gmail.com who took care of the hack job. He hacked her iphone,facebook,instagram, Whatsapp, twitter and email account. I got all I wanted as proof . I’m glad i had a proven truth she was cheating . Contact him for any hack job. Tell him i referred you to him, he will surely meet your hack need. Contact: gadgethacksolution@gmail.com

  56. I Basically think we all don’t have to face all these deceit and lies from our spouse. in a case of mine wen i got sick and tired of all the lies and deceit i had to contact a friend of mine to get me the contact of one of the best hackers in the states ..then i met accesshacking@gmail.com .He saved me from the lies of my cheating husband by hacking his phone..Incase you need help with hacking any phone or account or other jobs..Tell him i reffered you.He will help you

  57. I Basically think we all don’t have to face all these deceit and lies from our spouse. in a case of mine wen i got sick and tired of all the lies and deceit i had to contact a friend of mine to get me the contact of one of the best hackers in the states ..then i met accesshacking@gmail.com .He saved me from the lies of my cheating husband by hacking his phone..Incase you need help with hacking any phone or account or other jobs..Tell him i reffered you.He will help you.

  58. I’ve just used this guy’s services, they have proofs, JALINGOOMACARTHUR ATGMAIL 678 639 9432 and he’s a legit hacker, he can handle social network hacks, whatsapp, emails and school grade hacks, he’s actually the real deal, I was initially skeptical as I already got used by some fake hackers but Lingo did come through for me finally, try them and thank me later

  59. ✅MEET THE REAL HACKERS✅

    I Always Feel Bad Whenever we receive complaints from Clients About The Hackers They Met Before They Heard about us.
    These Days There Are alot of Hackers Online, You Just Have to Be Careful about who you meet for help, Because Some Of These People Are Scammers Pretending To be Hackers ❌❌❌
    You Can Always Identify Them With Their False Write Ups and False Testimonies Trying To Lure you Into their Arms.❌❌❌

    ✅COMPOSITE HACKS is here to Connect you with The Best Hackers Online So you can get saved from The Arms of the Fake Hackers❌❌

    ✅We have Legit Hackers and Private investigators at your service. 💻 Every member of our team is well experienced in their various niches with Great Skills, Technical Hacking Strategies And Positive Online Reviews And Recommendations💻🛠

    ✅We have Digital Forensic Specialists, Certified Ethical Hackers, Computer Engineers, Cyber Security Experts, Private investigators and more on our team. Our Goal is to make your digital life secure, safe and hassle-free.
    Some Of The Services we render includes:
    * Website hacking 💻
    * Facebook and social media hacking 📲
    * Database hacking, & Blog Cleaning🛠
    * Phone and Gadget Hacking 📲
    • CREDIT CARD Loading ( Strictly USA & UK Credit Cards Only) 💳
    * Clearing Of Criminal Records ❌
    * Location Tracking 📲
    and many More

    ✅We have a team of seasoned PROFESSIONALS under various skillsets when it comes to online hacking services. Our company in fact houses a separate group of specialists who are productively focussed and established authorities in different platforms. They hail from a proven track record Called “HackerOne” and have cracked even the toughest of barriers to intrude and capture or recapture all relevant data needed by our Clients. Some Of These Specialist Includes ⭐️ PETER YAWORSKI ⭐️FRANS ROSEN⭐️ JACK CABLE ⭐️JOBERT ABMA⭐️ ARNE SWINNEN ⭐️And More. All you Need To do is To Write us a Mail Then We’ll Assign any of These Hackers To You Instantly.

    Feel Free To Mail Us Anytime 📩

    📩 CONTACT:
    E-mail: compositehacks@gmail.com
    Hire a Hacker!
    Want faster service?
    Contact us!
    HackerOne©️LLC 2018.
    All Rights Reserved ®️

    ★We Treat Every Request With Utmost Confidentiality★

  60. I met a Trusted Certified hacker Options Expert online (Parker Joas) Add him up on Skype …Met him through there happy again client’s recovery reviews that they’ve recently helped to put smiles back on their faces after been cheated and scammed of their hard earned money

  61. Guys it no longer questionable when it comes to (HACKING). I am good in what I do Hacking.

    I am tire of showing you guys list of what I do and good at, no matter what it is you WANT just bring it on I will Hack it for you

    All you need do just Email:- pointekhack@gmail.com and your job shall be done with %100✓ guarantee

  62. Generate bitcoins.
    I want to share my experience with everyone about this awesome  BITCOIN GENERATING and MINING  software.  This is the happiest moment of my life having no longer to worry about paying bills as i have been settled for life with this software. Friends you can check out this website to get your own BITCOIN and make money without problems and thank me later:  https://bitcoinzone.cash/btc/. 
    The website is amazing.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: