These lemurs need us.

Someone just sent me this video and it’s supposedly the way that lemurs sunbathe because it feels so good that they lean back and spread their junk out so they can soak it all up everywhere and not get tan lines.

But personally, I think these lemurs just want hugs.  They’re all “Get in here, lady!  Ignore thosee signs that say you’re not allowed in the lemur pit.  LET’S GET OUR SNUGGLES ON” but then we just take pictures of them being ignored because we’re assholes who don’t understand basic body language and also because I can’t pick the locks at the door of the lemur pits.

Also, on second viewing it’s possible that they are trying to catch birds, because that’s how I’d do it if I was a lemur.  Just lean back and wait until they fly into your arms.  Or maybe they want you to throw food at them.  Next time you see a lemur you should have a coconut with you and you can be like, “GO LONG, LEMUR” and then spiral it right at him.  But not super hard because they aren’t used to catching shit and they’ll probably get hurt.  Just softly lob it in there, granny-style.  Or maybe throw something softer, like a decorative pillow filled with shredded cheese.  Or maybe throw a bird at them because then we test the bird theory and that’s two-birds-one-stone.  Except don’t throw two birds or one stone because first of all no one can catch two birds at one time and if you’re throwing stones at lemurs you’re going to get arrested because that’s kind of a dick move.  They don’t want your stones.  They want your cheese.  Or your loving.  Or maybe the sun.  I don’t know.  I’m not a lemurologist.

124 replies. read them below or add one

  1. They are obviously practicing their high wire balancing act to try out for the Flying Wallenda-Lemurs. They may not make it.

    notquiteold recently posted Quiz.

  2. It’s lemur yoga, but they took sun salutations way too literally. I can’t say for sure though I’m also not a lemurologist

  3. I love how the one in the middle puts a paw out to sort of catch the guy on the right from falling over. At least, that’s what it looks like. 🙂

  4. I once caught a fish – and it was this big. (Totally channeling Kevin Kline from Dave.)

    Kara recently posted The Dollyrots – Save Me (Official Lyric Video).

  5. It could be a lemur cult

  6. What we probably don’t know is that they are furry exhibitionists who shouldn’t be encouraged in this behavior, like teenage boys who drop their drawers below their butt cheeks (how DO they walk around without tripping?). Next time you see a lemur sunbathing, you should say “Hey, kid, cover up. Get a haircut and a job, and get off my lawn!”

  7. I’d hire you as a lemurologist… even if it does sound like you are a specialist at checking their pee.

    Linda M Au recently posted Erma-Gerd!.

  8. GO LONG, LEMUR is now my new favorite phrase, and my goal is to find a way to use it this week.

    OwnLessDoMore.us recently posted Exploring more of Fort Sam: Peacocks! And does this tank make my butt look big?.

  9. That looks like a power pose to me! Are any of them about to go interview for their dream jobs? That’s totally what you’re supposed to do beforehand supposedly, so I’ll be practicing that move a lot in the year ahead.

    lifevivified recently posted The Liebster, Bitchez!!.

  10. The next time you see a lemur, ha. I’m pretty sure I have yet to see my first lemur. ~Lemurless in South Carolina

    Half a 1000 Miles recently posted I Hate You Honey.

  11. I want a lemur. My only fear is that if it dies it will be stuffed and will find its way into your collection. That would upset Victor and that wouldn’t be good.

    Gary Lum recently posted Slow cooker rump roast and some Monday link love.

  12. They are SO cute. I love lemurs. And they make the coolest sounds ever.

  13. I think I need a lemur hug. 😍

    Beebe recently posted Community (a sort of reprise).

  14. All I know is I want one..

  15. 15
    Jenni (aka Sassypants)

    They also keep chewing on their junk. They want girlfriends.

  16. If I were a lemurologist, I’d want your hugs… just like I do now. Just saying.

  17. Sorry I’m distracted by those epic tails.

  18. My husband and kiddies got to snuggle with lemurs while on a trip to South Africa (I was stuck at work – lucky, lucky, lucky me). There’s a wonderful photo of my daughter with a lemur jumping on her head – which did nothing to ease my jealousy of their trip while I was chained to my desk. I want lemurs to jump on my head, too!

  19. Oh good lord, I need a pet lemus and a pillow stuffed with cheese.

    On second thought, I may already have one of those things.

    Quirky Chrissy recently posted My Life in Snapchat Color Part I.

  20. […] via These lemurs need us. — The Bloggess […]

  21. They look as if they’re on stage getting ready to belt out a song.

  22. I picture lemurs flying around from perch to perch and hanging from vines with their tails. It all looks very fun in my head.

    BipolarOnFire recently posted That One Time I Tried To Kill Someone.

  23. According to ask.com, “A lemur is an omnivorous animal but its diet generally consists of a wide variety of fruits. They also eat vegetables, soft barks, nuts, saps and flowers. When it’s not fruit season and food is scarce in its natural habitat, lemurs eat insects and even small animals.” So while shredded cheese pillows might be entertaining, I’m thinking fruit salad would be more joyously accepted. I would cut a watermelon into a clever basket and fill it with watermelon and cantaloupe balls, maybe some grapes and strawberries. I’d lob the fruit over the fence toward their soft little bellies and hope they’d catch the pieces with those cute tiny hands. Maybe if I did this every day, after a while they’d run to the fence when they saw the lady coming with the watermelon basket. We’d be friends.

    Kate recently posted A little something about my day job.

  24. Lemur! Agh, I am the worst!

  25. Here I am lying in bed, gritting my teeth from pain,wishing someone was online to distract me with awesome nonsense, and lo, a Bloggess update appears in my feed. Magic is real…

  26. I don’t mean to sound all judge-y, but those first set of lemurs….weren’t they a little, um, on the plump side? I mean, for a lemur.

    Marianne recently posted El Chapo.

  27. There’s a place in Wichita KS where you CAN get in with the lemurs! I think it’s like… They can crawl in you if they want, but you can’t actively squeeze them. I u,understand that they don’t smell great. Scent glands in their wrists you know.

  28. 28
    fallconskat

    Bless your heart, Ally, I’m right there with you. gentle hugs for you and for La Bloggess for her lovely distractions!

  29. Ah, but YOU CAN HUG THE LEMURS! There’s a place in Madagascar called Lemur Island and as soon as the boat touches land the lemurs come running out of the trees to hug and crawl on you. I work for a conservation organization and a number of my co-workers have been there. This isn’t them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36dy9iJtuFI

  30. You can visit, touch, feed these cuties right close to where I live. Come by and I’ll go with you!!
    http://lemur.duke.edu/visit/tours/
    Much cheaper than flying to Madegascar!

  31. My favourite bit was when I was suggested to watch the “Fighting naked chimpanzees” next. I would have watched if it was clothed chimpanzees, but naked just seemed too personal.

    Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted I Will Not Make a Meal For You.

  32. I’ve been to the place in Wichita. They give you a handful of Craisins then send you onto their “island”. If you sit down, they will come take the Craisins out of your hand and sit in your lap. You can also pet a rhino and feed giant turtles and giraffes. It is amazing.

  33. Lemurs are hands down my favorite primate.

    Thanks for highlighting their awesomeness.

  34. All you lovely people suggesting places that have Lemur Therapy available. All we need to do is come up with Lemur Therapy and Slow Sloth Hugging right next door to each other and it will be the solution to anxiety. For me, anyway.

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted An Open Letter to the Dallas TSA.

  35. This is why you don’t want to hug lemurs that have not been castrated!

    ‘The female lemur will rub her rear on a man. It’s like saying “YOUR MINE”.’
    http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/critterhouse/My%20Webs/ringtail_lemurs_as_pets.htm

  36. You brighten not only my day but my entire fucking life, Bloggess! THANK YOU!!

  37. I saw that one, and thought it looked like a reasonable thing to do, given the weather we’re having around here. Then I tried it and fell over backward because I fell asleep. Just so you know, I don’t recommend acting like lemur.

    Manicmom recently posted Nothing against turtles, really, or hobos.

  38. That looks like me trying to stay on my barstool after 1 too many! So maybe they are celebrating National Beer Day?!?!?

  39. If I ever got to hug a lemur I would lose it way worse than Kristen Bell did when her husband brought her that birthday sloth.

  40. I’m pretty sure these Lemurs are from Oregon and just haven’t seen the sun in months. It’s what we all do when we see the sun for the first time in Spring. Ahhhhh defrosting…..

  41. 41
    Tracey Lucas

    Ha! I saw this video earlier today and totally thought of you. And my second thought was “awwww. They wanna hug!”

    Great minds.

  42. My theory is that the lemurs are trying to figure out the people. They’re all, like, “I think they can walk like that because they use for arms for balance,” and then the lemur next to them is like, “Like this?” But then when they try it their balance gets all wonky so they fall over, but some of them can hold the position longer than others so then it turns in to a contest to see who can balance with their arms like that without falling off the roof the longest.

    Either that, or they’re just looking for snuggles.

  43. I would so rock as the Jane Goodall of lemurs.

  44. So normal people don’t do that on a sunny day? That’s what I do when I leave the house and it’s a gorgeous day…

  45. I can’t stop watching this, it is al over the internet and I love it more each time I see it! And it is exactly the same way I sunbathe..

    The Hellion recently posted My Favorite Quotes About Life.

  46. OMG! LOVE lemurs!!! Love love love! Thanks for posting this. Day made

    Laura recently posted "April".

  47. I need a degree in lemurology (although I’d prefer a meerkatology degree). A useless degree would go nicely with my other useless degree (BA in Literature & Writing).

    PS. The “BA” stands for badass. It’s true, just humor me, okay?!

  48. I so want to hug them! (Whether they’re asking for hugs or not!)

  49. Hmmmmm. I think they are trying to do yoga or suck at Tai Chi or something. Two cents given. You’re welcome.

  50. That’s EXACTLY how I sunbathe! I balance on a log and just spread out. And I haven’t fallen off the log for about 4 days now. Sure, one of the those pool-side beds are easier to sun tan on but EVERYONE does that.

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Guerilla Shopping.

  51. 51
    Kelly Helms

    Good Lord, Woman, I love the way your mind works. <3

  52. Pretty sure this is Lemur Du Soliel.

    Next month, they’ll introduce us to their water act set to Michael Jackson music.

    Dumb {Squared} recently posted Smoking made me a pretentious loser with gross breath.

  53. It’s their core/yoga class before they start their CrossFit or TRX training. Namaste y’all!

  54. They do kind of look like “come at me, bro”.

    Half a 1000 Miles recently posted I Hate You Honey.

  55. Perhaps I’m weird, but my immediate reaction was not that I wanted to hug a lemur. I wanted to BE a lemur. I want to do zen poses in the sun! I would be quite the self-conscious lemur though. All those people staring at me… uh… yeah. I’d be on the lemur gag reel. The one that strikes a pose and gracelessly falls off, then gets up and struts off like, “I did that on purpose.”

    Angie S recently posted Recovery is a Process.

  56. 56
    Impossible

    Next time I’m having a bad day I am going to watch this video on a loop. You are the best, my darling bloggess

  57. I think they are just showing off their nice white fur on their bellies. If I had white fur on my belly it would often have stains. That’s why I don’t wear white often.

  58. 58
    Mitch Smith

    Once again lemurs, which translates to arrogant little fucks, have stolen the spotlight from all the other animals at the zoo. Yoga snobs every one of them.

  59. 59
    Christine Bliss

    The only thing they are missing are lemur size signs that say “Free hugs!”

  60. They are meditating…Unfortunately their ADD has them distracted so they are not getting the full benefits! FOCUS LEMURS or you might get hit with a bird!! Maybe a hug would help?🙌😂

  61. Go Long, Lemur!

  62. Maybe they are spirtualists and are going “oooom, oooom” while in the sun

  63. You had me at lemurs

  64. Dot needs something to cuddle.

    Michelle recently posted Who’s That Behind The Red Chanel Lipstick?.

  65. Those lemurs were obviously auditioning for the cover of Furiously Happy. 😉

  66. “Look, Ma, no hands!” It wasn’t until I saw this video that I fully understood: the locks aren’t there to keep the lemurs in, they’re there to keep people like me out! I would totally give belly rubs to all the lemurs. Back scratches, too, because who doesn’t love that?

  67. I’m getting “come at me, bro”. Because lemurs are the douchiest of the primates.

    NosmoRex recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  68. Looks like they’re waiting to get raptured, personally. Not a bad pose for that! Sexy!

    Jackie recently posted April A-Z: Thoughts on Boobs.

  69. 69
    Cassandra S

    “a decorative pillow filled with cheese”. This. This is what I need.

  70. The three on the roof look like they are trying to enact the crucifixion scene in the movies about Jesus.

  71. 71
    Stefanie Ann

    How do they do that without falling over???

  72. I’ll bet I could catch two stoned lemurs in the bush with a tasty bird in my hand.

  73. 73
    Lynne Thomas

    I love that one reached out to help another keep its balance-because nothing is more embarrassing that showing off your junk and then falling right off the log like a dork.

  74. Unrelated to lemurs– Your writing makes the day better. Thank you so much for sharing yourself, your humour, and your dark bits with us.

    Our house flooded last week and has decided to flood again today. The water is still slowly creeping back, much like that one really annoying acquaintance you can never get to leave after hosting A Thing. Dealing with all of this nonsense with anxiety, psoriatic arthritis, and a husband recovering from brain surgery has been trying. We’re all exhausted. Reading your amateur lemurology post restored at least two, maybe even three, spoons. Thank you.

  75. Those lemurs look like frat boys. What would a lemur fraternity be called–Alpha Kappa Lemur? And they would drink fermented cactus juice, and their frat slogan would be “My junk, my junk, my lovely lemur junk.”

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 79: Naptime at Batman Versus Superman, The Queen and I Rent a Car.

  76. I got to play with ruffed lemurs at Jungle Island in Miami and 2014 and 2015. They were amazing and the queen of their little tribe claimed me for her own. They are unbelievably soft. I have a great picture, but I don’t know how to share it with you.

  77. I wouldn’t mind being a lemur. It looks like they get to lay around in the sun a lot and hardly ever have to deal with dick work colleagues asking them stupid questions. It also sounds like people are going to throw decorative pillows filled with shredded cheese at them. I could get on board with that.

    LivingJen recently posted Uh oh. Are we the weird neighbours?.

  78. Speaking of two birds and one stone… http://youtu.be/71gilEP4aJY

    Enjoy! 🙂

  79. 79
    caitlinjo222

    Maybe they are doing yoga & all the hacking people are interrupting them. 😉😋😆

  80. 80
    caitlinjo222

    That was yacking! It took me four tries for autocorrect to leave it alone! LOL.

  81. I luff you!

  82. I did a short behind the scenes lemur-feeding tour at our local zoo for my birthday.
    It was made even better by the fact that the lemurs are kept in what was formerly the polar bear enclosure, so the keepers led us to this huge, reinforced steel door and heave it open to reveal a floofy gaggle of lemurs.

  83. They also look like they’re practicing meditation, and then we walk by being jerks and taking pics. I do have a pic of a lemur on his back, one arm under his head, and giving me a sultry look.

  84. “Or maybe throw something softer, like a decorative pillow filled with shredded cheese.” I cannot stop smiling, and repressing laugher because I’d wake everyone up (it’s late). And I want to see this line on Twitter, with no context. I like weird lines/quotes given without context, I like to think how someone reading them must react. I have an odd sense of humor.

    theunbookreporter recently posted The Parasol Protectorate Series—A Mellifluous Melding of Genres.

  85. Oh Jenny, I love all your posts, but this one is just brimming with Bloggess Fabulousness! Thanks for the laughs!

    AmyBerry recently posted A Bump in the Night.

  86. I laugh until cried – lemurs crack me up. Thanks for making my day Jenny! Seriously I needed a good laugh.

  87. I’m going to go with “hugs” because now I want lemur hugs.

  88. 88
    Pat Griffin

    I hear, “OHM”

  89. Careful. You might get more than a hug. http://i.imgur.com/9nDtWRT.jpg

  90. I think maybe it is a “Come at me Bro!” gesture…. like a lemur challenge… or maybe I’m just feeling confrontational today.

  91. They need t shirts or maybe signs ( which would replace the ” no really, stay the fuck out of the Lemur enclosure, we aren’t kidding.” And would also avoid tan lines.) that says ” The Snuggle is Real.”

    shannonbrennanetc recently posted Getting up to no good. Shannon Style.

  92. I meditate just like those lemurs, man. “In with the good, out with the bad…HEY PHIL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE? Ok, focus, focus…nice warm sunshine…emptying my mi- DID YOU GUYS JUST SEE THAT? I THINK IT WAS A CAPYBARA. ARE CAPYBARAS EVEN FROM HERE? WHERE IS MY PHONE I NEED TO LOOK UP CAPYBARAS. (ten minutes later) Wait, what was I doing? Oh yes, emptying my mind. Ommm. Ommm. OmmmMMMG, THERE IS A BUG CRAWLING ON ME KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE…”

    Ealachan recently posted tweets, how do they work?.

  93. I adore lemurs. I’d have one for a pet like a cat in a heartbeat if it weren’t for the scent musk glands they have. Don’t have time for funk. 🙂

  94. they forgot their “Free Hugs” sign but I would pay good money to hug a lemur

  95. I perceive this as a classic “oh, you wanna GO, BROHAN?” sort of maneuver. I think that they’re challenging someone off-screen to the right. A machismo lemur-battle is forthcoming.

  96. I perceive this as a classic “oh, you wanna GO, BROHAN?” sort of maneuver. I think that they’re challenging someone off-screen to the right. A machismo lemur-battle is forthcoming.
    – Super Starling / http://www.SuperStarling.rocks

  97. You should totally be a lemurologist!

  98. Famous lemur pickup line:

    “I want your cheese. AND your loving.”

  99. If anyone could catch two birds at one time it’d be Melissa McCarthy. Fast forward to 6:35 if you don’t want to watch all of the awesomeness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saOHKFWW3tU

  100. This video makes me want to snuggle with lemurs!!!

    janice recently posted Anniversay Giveaway + Passwords Part Deux.

  101. Those are the cutest lemurs I’ve ever seen.

    Catherine recently posted A Great Week for the NICU Book Project.

  102. 102
    Sillymagpie

    Practicing for a musical revue.

  103. They are totally singing this!

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KUOntQocGWk

  104. Craft idea: little tiny sandwich boards that say “Free Hugs.”

    Psychobabble recently posted Down with the Sickness.

  105. Ok,one, it never occurred to me that lemurs had junk. And I felt quite pervy watching this cause no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t help but check to see if they indeed had junk. So thanks for that. Two, I need to wash away this yucky feeling and I will never be able to listen to “We like to move it, move it” quite the same way again. 😳😭

    Lisa A recently posted The fourth anniversary of the ‘crazy’.

  106. It’s lemur meditation. And all those annoying humans are distracting them from achieving their inner peace and solitude.

    thornfield523 recently posted Trying to Accept My New Reality.

  107. Oh my gosh, this is exactly how I feel when I step into a Catholic church these days (I’m no longer Catholic, and it seems like a lot of things they do have changed), and while reciting the Lord’s Prayer, everyone’s hands go up at their sides. JUST LIKE THE LEMURS. Maybe they’re all praying and that one dude in the middle is like me and thinks the arms are for waving to people up in the front or for catching wobbly friends. I figure it’s either that, or they’ve suddenly realized they’re deep tan on the back and their fronts are badly in need of some color.

    wombatcentral recently posted Things You Can’t Unsee.

  108. Thank you for a smile to start my day!

    Nomads By Nature recently posted Catching A Tumbleweed.

  109. Hahaha…..naked Lemurs!

    sjhebig recently posted The Most Outstanding Smoothies On The Planet.

  110. These lemurs are tourists from Britain. They’re overcome with delight/surprise on seeing the sun, and their arms are outstretched to hold those foil-lined baking trays that British people favour for sunbathing. Also ,you can tell they’re from the UK, because their chests are perpetually as white as sheets. Despite the foil offensive. (If they did the foil offensive in Texas, or Australia, they’d look like nachos that had been struck violently by soft pillows full of cheese then run thru a hot oven.)

    Karen recently posted TOP RINGTONES & TEXT TONES I WISH SOMEONE WOULD MAKE EXIST.

  111. 111
    msexceptiontotherule

    “Dick work colleagues asking them questions” (@LivingJen)

    So, the first read had me asking myself the question(s)…”Dick work. What the hell kind of job has employees doing dick work? Porn? How bad do they have to be at their job that they have to ask questions!? I mean besides ‘oh yeah, do you like my dick work, do you?’ (if you have to ask, probably not.).”

    Those lemurs are using body language to say…”Yo, behold my junk. Yeah, I’m awesome at dick work.”

  112. Lisa A – #106: THAT’S what I’m worried about, too!
    wiggly dance move
    hand over head
    ♪♪ ♪♪
    “You’ve got to move it, move it…”
    ♪♪ ♪♪
    Nope… not the same.

  113. It’s obvious to me that lemurs have irresponsibly large egos, as each one seems to be practicing for the next State of the Enclosure address. “My fellow mammals…I stand before you today with plans to annex the sloth pen. In doing so, we will return our enclosure to its original state of grandeur and prominence in the zoo, ushering in a new era…of Lemur Domination! Let’s make the Lemur Nation great again!” wild applause from tiny lemur paws The guys behind the main one are angling for a cabinet position, that’s why they keep propping the front man up. Or they could be sunning their ‘nads. It’s hard to say.

  114. Is it wrong I sunbathe the same way as lemurs?

    Norm Cowie recently posted Moo.

  115. I particularly like the part where one lemur begins to shade another, and the second one gets annoyed.

    kmkat recently posted Links return!.

  116. I’m in Montreal, where it just recently snowed, so I too would like to hug the sun.

    Kritin. recently posted Our radical survival..

  117. 117
    Kylish Lastname

    AHAHA what?? So funny. A lot like lemonmarshmallow.com

  118. 118
    Carol Anne Fusco

    I love the comments almost as much as I love your post. Thanks for Jenny, thanks for lemurs and thanks for commenters. Laugh out loud funny.

  119. I think they look a lot like Buddahs

  120. Maybe their just working on their Fonzie impressions…

    Awkwardly Alive recently posted Feeling and thinking and thinking about the feelings..

  121. Come visit me in Wichita, KS! I’m one of the primate keepers at Tanganyika Wildlife Park! While our lemur feeding experience has changed (due to new government regulations last year, and the lemurs are unable to crawl on you anymore) you can still get super close to them and hand feed them Craisens! We are only one of 4 places in the US you can do this! Just saying. Btw, yes they are sunbathing, they do this all the time! While I wouldn’t recommend breaking in to the lemur areas and tossing them cheese, stones, birds, etc. due to the face that they are on a strict diet, they do love fruit. Just saying…. lol! Also, I’ve met you on both book tours! Huge fan, would love to see you again!!

  122. Or they have body odor issues and they are airing out the pits.

  123. It’s ghost-hugging, I’ve seen this before.

    (Call now +1 902 XXX XXXX for more details, in confidence.)

    duplicatorbooks recently posted In brief: the Blue Whale.

  124. If you put one bird inside of the other, then they could catch it. Also, two more things that it looks like they’re doing — trying to dance but falling over or meditating.

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