Today I was driving to my shrink and it’s sort of a long, twisty, weird road to get there and I noticed another car driving in front of me for several minutes and eventually he pulled into my shrink’s parking lot before me. And then he went inside and then I did and after a few minutes in the waiting room he hesitantly said, “Can I ask you a really crazy question that I already know the answer to?” And I said, “Did you want to ask if I’m following you? I’m not. I’m supposed to be here,” and he said, “How did you know that I was going to ask that?” And I was like, “Because I saw you drive to the exact same place and my first thought was that you were following me, except you were in front of me so not only were you following me but you were so good at it that you were following me before I was even there. And then I wondered if you were a time traveler who knew where I was going and then I realized that was probably irrational but I still thought it was maybe possible because I am open-minded.”
And then he paused for a second and said, “Huh.” And then I was like “See? You were all worried about your paranoia but now you can feel good about the fact that you don’t think time-travelers were pre-following you to your psychiatrist appointment” and he was like, “This is the most helpful psychiatric session I’ve ever had and I haven’t even met the doctor yet.” And then we fist-bumped in solidarity.
And that’s how the world keeps turning.
Unrelated: Tomorrow I’m going to BookPeople in Austin to sign some books so if you want to buy one for the holidays just click here for Furiously Happy or click here for Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and in the comments section at checkout just say you want a signed copy or you can leave details if you want me to personalize it or draw a cat in it or lick it or whatever. They ship everywhere.
PS. I don’t have a picture for this post so instead here’s Hunter S. Tomcat eating leftover turkey. This is pure ecstasy, y’all. May we all be this happy.