Can you sue your own body? Because I have a good fucking case.

So.  I’ve been a bit MIA because after my emergency room crisis I was a limp rag and unable to do much more than just breathe this week.  Even sitting up to draw was too taxing (WTF, BODY?) so I spent the last few days reading, sleeping and crying to Victor about how sad my life is in spite of the fact that he’s working his ass off  while I’m complaining about my “napping struggles” and I’m like, “But I’m too tired to even watch TV.  PITY ME.”  And then I did literally cry and he did literally pity me because I’m not the crying type and so he realized it was serious.  But today I feel a bit better and I have more doctor’s appointments this week and next week, and I was able to stop taking the pain pills yesterday and maybe it’ll all just fade away like the pneumonia did?  I mean, with my luck it’ll just fade into something else, like radiation poisoning or unexpected leglessness, but still…a change is as good as a rest.  Probably.

Today though Victor insisted that I leave the house and we went to Luby’s Cafeteria and we were the only people under 70 there, except for the guy behind us who was about 40 and was a tough-looking biker who was very distracting because he kept taking obvious pictures of his food and I told Victor that he was probably a famous instagram star and he couldn’t find the right filter for his carrot-n-raisin salad,but Victor thought that he was taking a picture of his food to add it to his weight-watchers journal and I shook my head and we continued to argue about why the biker was taking pictures of his food, including:

  • Texting pictures of his fresh fruit to taunt his estranged brother who lives in a submarine and maybe has scurvy.
  • Beets remind him of a simpler time and he wanted to remember the moment so he could commemorate it with a short story or haiku  later.
  • He saw Jesus in his mashed potatoes.
  • He secretly wants to open an off-brand Hooter’s combined with a Luby’s and name it “Boobie’s” and so every day he comes and takes pictures of his food so that he can recreate it, stealing the menu one photo at a time.

Then I laughed and things felt brighter.  And now I’m actually blogging.  Sort of.  Mostly just to say why I’m not blogging, but I think it still counts.  Long story short, I’m less dead today than I was yesterday and I would totally eat at “Boobie’s”.

Also, books have been my life raft lately and there are a bunch of brand new ones out this week you should be reading. Priestdaddy: A Memoir (achingly amazing prose),  Confessions of a Domestic Failure, One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter and We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.  The last one doesn’t come out for a few weeks but you should preorder it because it is painfully funny.  And since I’m still spending most of my days under blankets with a book, please share any new reading suggestions you have in the comments.

PS. Last week I challenged my friend (and fellow collector of creepy dolls) Bonnie to see who could rework this doll into the creepiest thing possible.  Mine arrived and I’ve been too tired to start deconstructing her yet, but she’s already slightly creepy to begin with and I haven’t even added the spider legs.  (SPOILERS.)

More soon…

194 thoughts on “Can you sue your own body? Because I have a good fucking case.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. For a book recommendation, try “Jane Two” by Sean Patrick Flanery. That is the ONLY book that has ever made me cry at the end. It’s wonderfully bittersweet.

  2. Yeah, I think the doll’s creepiest possibilities are in posing her with real life – she’s a freak. Bless her heart.

    Glad that you’re practically semi-alive. You should be honored you were eating at the same place as the famous ghost-biker-food blogger.

  3. So glad to ‘hear’ from you. Sending you good thoughts from the North! I’ve been reading too, old fashioned bubble gum books. The kind l from way back when which make you smile and you don’t need to think.

  4. You should read Fractured Memories! https://www.amazon.com/Fractured-Memories-Emily-Page/dp/1366315413/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1493836907&sr=8-1&keywords=fractured+memories+emily+page I’m sorry you’re still at all dead, even if it’s less dead than yesterday. Being dead at all sucks. Also, there was a place in St. Petersburg, FL called Boobies for several years that was basically a Hooters. Or maybe it was Booby’s. I’m afraid to Google it either way. But now I’m wondering if it was Booby’s and maybe it was just a sign-typo and it was supposed to be Bobby’s, and at first the owner was embarrassed but then he realized how much business it was bringing in so he changed his whole business model.

  5. Book Recommendation – “We Are Ok” by Nina LaCour. I read it a few weeks ago and cannot get it out of my head.

  6. I’d suspect that a place called “Boobies” would do as well as a place called “Hooters.”

    Recently I had to explain to my 10yo why we were not going to Hooters even though she is seriously into owls… I summarized it as “lots of men like to look at women and some women like being looked at.” Not bad for getting caught unexpectedly…

  7. Laughter is a great start to feeling better. So happy you are less dead than yesterday. And…. the doll is really cool and has a ton of potential. Where can I find dolls like these? I might have to start a new hobby! Creepy dolls left for unsuspecting team members…

  8. I miss Luby’s chicken fried steak! Actually I miss anybody’s… out here in the steakforsaken west, they put SAUSAGE gravy on it… blasphemy!! If it ain’t white, it’s yella, and if it’s neither, it’s just wrong. Glad you’re coming around!! xo

  9. Glad you’re on the mend(ish). Your stamina amazes me. Thanks for the book list, I trust you. So excited about Confessions of a Domestic Failure. I love her real life story and that she makes me snort-laugh every day like you do. With virtual friends like you two, who needs to get mad and smash stuff?

  10. You and Victor are a riot, and I would totally eat at Boobies! Beets always scare the hell out of me, after I eat them and take care of my #2 business, so hopefully Boobies implements a strict ‘no beet’ policy. As for books, I just ordered ‘When Breath Becomes Air’ by Paul Kalanithi. Word on the street is that it is phenomenal. Get well Jenny, and hold tightly to your legs. Radiation poisoning is totally the better route – you know, being that it might give you some super powers and shit. Lots of love to you. xo

  11. Less dead is a lot better. I would totally eat at “Boobies” as long as they weren’t the kind you would normally see at Luby’s. I would suggest Ready Player One by Ernest Cline but I think you might have already said you read that. I enjoyed it immensely and there is supposed to be a movie in the works. Anything by Hugh Howey is good, especially the Silo Series.

  12. My co-worker just told me that “the universe is out of focus.” That probably explains how you’re feeling. At the same time it brings up so many other questions.

  13. Less dead is always more betterer! And if you suddenly find yourself with leg loss, check between the couch cushions. I often find mine slip in there, especially when reading. (Also? one of my most favorite compliments I’ve ever received – besides that I have the prettiest ice cubes ever – is that you could lift my couch cushions at any given moment and not be grossed out. Thank you, strange guy that I never dated again.)

    Book suggestion: Laini Taylor – Strange the Dreamer (all her novels are good IMO, so you can’t go wrong… I tore through the Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy like an addict)

  14. Glad you’re feeling better! Unexpected leglessness would be an impressive complication. Let’s just hope you don’t fade into weightlessness, although that would be pretty fun for a while until you went outside. Love your updates!

  15. Did you read Lily and the Octopus yet?????? This is exactly how I feel about my cats..if I could write a beautifully written book..

    (I have it on my list but I’m afraid it would be too depressing. Dog books always scare me a little. ~ Jenny)

  16. Mathilda stroked the cat gently with her wooden, hinged hand. “Hush, dear one,” she whispered. “I’ve waited so long for this moment.” The cat slept on, oblivious to what was to come…

  17. Ever since i saw your post about the China Girl, David Bowie has been singing it in my brain. Which is not necessariy a bad thing. There is a tiny China Girl also, 4″ tall, that was included with the Ken size Oscar DIggs doll. She’s not very articulated but i need her for my collection. I am following her on ebay for one at the right price (read cheap). She will join me in the cubicle with my other pets. Please get to feeling better, we need you!

    (I’m looking for a tiny one for my dollhouse. No luck yet. ~ Jenny)

  18. It’s not out yet, but you’ve got Connections. If you can lay your hands on a copy of Joshilyn Jackson’s upcoming book, THE ALMOST SISTERS, do! It’s got her trademark quirkiness and beautiful heart.

    So is the new one by Neal Stephenson and Nicole Galland, THE FALL AND RISE OF D.O.D.O. It’s massive but hugely funny and oh-so smart.

  19. So far, I am loving Sophie Kinsella’s My (not so) Perfect Life. A bit of mindless fluff but also an undertone of the grass isn’t always greener and be careful what you wish for…

  20. Can’t wait to see what you come up with to creepify (spellcheck does not like that word but I don’t care) that doll! 🙂 Hope you continue to feel better each day!

  21. For books I highly recommend “John Dies at the End” and “This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don’t Touch It” by David Wong. If you like weird and kind of batshit horror comedy this is the series for you. In all seriousness I have read these books over and over, given away more copies than I can count, and adore them in all their twisted oddness.

  22. I hope you feel better soon and nothing happens to cause you to have unexpected leglessness.

    As my VIetnam vet uncle who lost both his legs unexpectedly due to stepping on a landmine, not having legs kinda bites donkey turds.

  23. I’d eat at a place called “Boobies” and take pictures of my food. For sure.
    Hope you continue to get stronger Jenny.

  24. Anything by Bill Bryson.

    Hope you get your mojo back very soon! We miss you!😘

  25. I enjoy anything by Dana Stabenow. And she covers many genres, including crime fiction, historic fiction, sci-fi and travel. I love her Kate Shugak series and #21 comes out on Saturday. But the Star Svensdotter science fiction series was good to and I usually don’t pick up that genre. I guess I love that almost all of her books have strong female characters. It’s nice as a short girl to read about Kate who is 5’0 and solves crimes and scares people into behaving.

  26. Have you read “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe”? It’s so beautiful and funny, and well written. Perfect for reading under blankets while feeling gross. Feel better

  27. I’m currently reading The Radium Girls by Kate Moore. It’s about these women in the 1920s who suffered from radiation poisoning after working as watch dial painters. The company they worked for refused to take responsibility for it at first. In fact, they assured the women that radium was harmless even though the company founders knew it was extremely toxic if it came in contact with the skin. It’s equal parts sad and fascinating.

  28. I hope you catch a break. Not a broken bone hopefully… or really anything else broken… maybe the phrase should be “I hope you catch a fix?” Anyway, I hope you feel better… if you find out that you can sue your body, let me know! Though, I’m broke, so I’m pretty sure my body is too… maybe we can sue God, he’s got tons of money, just look at how many houses he has all over the world, and people still give him money, and he claims credit for everything including making our broken bodies so I think we have a solid case. In fact, I propose a class-action suit because you know we’re gonna need expensive lawyers to beat God… and watch out for lightning strikes cuz I also hear he’s like the mob in that he takes out people who speak against him, but worse cuz you can’t even get into witness protection to avoid him cuz he sees everything. Also, he has all the shit on all of us and could totally discredit all of us… you know what, nevermibd. God is too big to fail… like the banks only bigger. I’ll just deal with this crappy body. (Please make sure if I’m struck by lightning, to let people know this comment is probably why…)

  29. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas is an amazing book! Glad you got out for a bit and the weird food dude was good for some laughs!

  30. I feel like screaming a warning at Hunter as if I’m watching a B horror movie.

  31. Unexpected leglessness. On the one hand, that would really suck. But on the other, I feel like you would come up with some amazing ideas for prosthetics. Think of the possibilities! I am sorry you’ve been under the weather. I hope you’re feeling happy and energetic again soon!

  32. I just finished reading “Ready Player One” by Earnest Cline and it was fabulous! If you love games and cultural references from the 80s, it is sublime.

    (I LOVE that book. ~ Jenny)

  33. Even sick you are hysterical! I insist that when you open Boobies there be lots of room for nursing mothers and it is a RULE that nursing mothers MUST NURSE THEIR BABIES IN BOOBIES.

  34. I just read Robot in the Garden by Deborah Install, and it was just lovely. It probably isn’t going to change the world, but it did just make me happy.

  35. Well, being partly dead is a little better than all dead, hummm, the legless thing is a little creepy, however, whatever you are doing it has helped me deal with my crazyness. So glad to be part of the Tribe, thank you.

  36. So many new things: Startup by Doree Shafrir, Fake Plastic Love by Kimberly Tait (doesn’t come out until the 9th), The Dinner Party for Joshua Ferris (new yesterday), The Awkward Age by Francesca Segal, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline (especially Wil Wheaton’s audio version) is a good classic.

  37. If you’ve not read them yet and you’re feeling up to a series (it’s also Hailey-age appropriate!) check out the Finishing School series by Gail Carriger.

    It’s about a girl whose mother thinks she’s sending her to Finishing School as in etiquette, but actually sends her to Finishing School as in assassin. Victorian steampunk as far as the setting.

  38. That doll totally looks like she is going to rip Hunter’s ear off and eat it, while still vaguely smiling. I will not sleep tonight.
    “Boobies” is a great restaurant idea. I’m up for opening a franchise here in Tucson where, btw, I don’t even think we have a Luby’s.
    I have no great book recommendations, but I am glad you’re on the mend.

  39. Please let me send you a book! You can lie in bed and travel the country in a semi truck with someone who may or may not have impulse control problems… I’ve been told it’s funny, it was fun to write, so at least there’s that.

  40. I just started reading Katey Sagal’s memoir Grace Notes and it’s a great read so far! Best wishes for you to feel better soon…or at least be able to successfully nap & read & draw.

    (I was supposed to blurb that book but it came in when I was having a low spell so I never finished it. Gonna go look for it. ~ Jenny)

  41. Probably don’t get Neil Gaiman’s “American Gods” if you’re just barely less dead… it’s wonderful and dark and sticky-in-your-brain, but it was sticky enough to make me a little sad and aware of it by two days later. I think I’d have deemed it unpleasantly sticky if I’d been depressed when reading it. But now that I’m living in the place where sunshine happens every few days, I could handle it. Still very sticky though.

  42. Lamb by Christopher Moore is my go to when I feel sick. . I also recomend the travel books by Dave Gorman expecially The Googlewack Adventure and America Unchained. They are super funny and can be really touching at times. Perfect summer read, or “only slightly dead” read. Oh! The Princess Bride! The book is awesome!
    I shoukd stop now before I list off my entire library. Feel better Jenny!

  43. I’m also having a bad go of things lately, I want to take a vacation from my life. Rest up however you can!

  44. You’ve been in my thoughts this week! I hope you feel better and are back to your old shenanigans soon! Have you read The Night Circus? I think you’d love it if you haven’t!!

  45. 1000 Dot-To-Dot: Animals by Thomas Pavitte – I enjoy this in the same way I like to color in your book. It’s peacefully distracting. Also, Born a Crime by Trevor Noah is wonderful.

  46. Do you like Val Kilmer? He just released a cd of part of his live Mark Twain show available on his website for $5 and it has certainly brought a smile to my face and a chuckle despite my complete lack of spoons. Not a read, but a good short listen. Worth a check out. (If you’re a fan. If you don’t like him, may not work. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

  47. I know you feel awful (trust me, I’ve had depression all my life and that’s no exaggeration) and I don’t want to make it seem like you don’t have serious issues (I understand, I really do), but you are so lucky to have Victor who sticks by you through so much. I wish I could find somebody who wouldn’t leave me just because of the depression and all the issues that causes. I’m glad you have somebody like him to help.

  48. Not trying to be one of those people who try to diagnose others because I hate that crap, but have they suggested you could have a post-virus/infection IBS? Since you were sick first, and now are sick again? I took a month long road trip in February. I got sick with what I thought was the flu for about 5 days. It seemed to get better, and then suddenly came back, different. It lingered for 6 weeks. I would feel somewhat better, and then it would come right back. I saw half a dozen medical professionals (and an ER trip in Tennessee) and finally a gastro said I had post-infection IBS. Stomach issues, fatigue, nausea in the beginning, etc. Drove me crazy. I am mostly improved now, but it can last awhile. I hope you feel better soon. This crap does indeed suck.

  49. Were you the one that recommended “A Man Called Ove”? If you were, oops sorry, if not – YAY go read it! 🙂 I’ve read three of his books now – Ove, “My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry” and “Britt-Marie Was Here”. It helps to know that the author is European – the American brain needs to adjust to a different pace. Both Ove and Grandmother were hard starters for me but by the end I was totally in love with them both. Britt-Marie was easier for me, but you meet her in Grandmother so maybe that was why. Gorgeous depictions of normal people struggling with life. He’s on my autobuy list now!
    Sending you all the good vibes I can. Although my vibes are sketchy at best because I’m on the downhill side of an unexplained allergic reaction and my head still itches ABOMINABLY! But that’s better that having to scratch (like a lady) all my private areas in public for weeks because nothing seemed to work. Bonus knowledge though, Cera Ve (Vie?) actually does cut down itching. I’ve got you covered for unexplained full body itching (which is actually waaaay more important than you think when you DON’T itch)!

  50. Are you sure you didn’t piss of Russia and now they are trying to slowly kill you to make it look less assassin-like? Glad to hear you are mending bit by bit. Book suggestion… hmmmm…

  51. Sorry you feel bad but I have to say… i HEART Luby’s! I dont care if its old ppl food, I am rapidly becoming an old ppl so who cares? Dressing with white gravy, that new mac and cheese, corn casserole, squash if it has cheese on it, spicy rice… now I may have to make a Luby’s run, dang it all! The salmon patties are good too (the flat ones, not the round humpy ones). What do you like there?

  52. Jenny,
    Monday night I learned that the nearest independent bookstore to me (in Winchester VA, an hour away) had one of your posters left from Saturday’s event, which I’d missed because of work. They agreed to hold it for me so I could pick it up on Tuesday (yesterday), my day off. On my way there I was enjoying the weather and my new car and my day off until a tractor trailer decided he wanted my lane while I was in it, and his rear tire collided with me and sent my car flipping and airborne into the median. Miraculously I am alive and functional thus far, and after my release from the hospital my husband took me back up to Winchester and I got my poster after all. Today I feel like I got hit by a truck, but I am still happy to have this special piece of art to add to my collection. I don’t know if this link will work, but it’s a picture of me with my prize for surviving a hell of a day. Thanks for surviving it with me.
    https://i2.wp.com/redinkramblings.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/18238054_10155105810215140_3130919595864286678_o1.jpg

  53. My go to fiction books when I’m flaring are Jasper Fford’s Thursday Next series (if you love grammar and a strong, middle aged heroine, this one’s for you! She’s a literary agent. LIKE A POLICE AGENT. OF LITERATURE AND GRAMMAR).

    Also, and this might be a tad embarrassing, but when I’m med floating I can’t concentrate that well, I read the True Blood series. It veers from the tv series a good amount. Great stuff.

    I’m reading Option B right now. Excellent. Halfway through Furriously Funny. AMAZING. And Rereading Slouching Toward Bethlehem and a Year of Magical Thinking, because Joan Didion.

    My daughter’s college essay was titled “The Animal in my Stomach.” Your experience was a lot like hers, so I’m following your experience with the doctors to see what you all come up with. ❤

  54. Please read The Lonely Hearts Hotel (and everything else) by Heather O’Neill. And then, get yourself on an author panel with her so I can see and hear you both. I promise to laugh/cry. It will be incredible and awesome. I promise.

  55. The orange cat in the box looks just like my cat Sonny who is asleep next to me. He wouldn’t find the doll creepy either, but he might lie on it.

  56. Glad to hear you’re on the mend– even if just a little bit. My spoon drawer has been empty for a while. Have been absent myself, but hopeful. Always hopeful.

  57. Here in the UK, if you’re “legless” you’re drunk – so hey, that might not be a bad thing to unexpectedly find yourself drunk 😉

  58. Just thought of you cause I read a story of a woman who named her gorgeous male cat Leonardo diCatrio. And read Crossing the Horizon by Laurie Notaro – about three women who want to be the first to fly across the Atlantic in the 20s.

  59. If you’re a fan of the fantasy genre, I highly recommend Melanie Rawn’s Dragon Prince series.

  60. Just for the record, I worked with a very skinny, petite girl who used to work at HOOTERS. She had pretty small breasts. She explained that (Spoiler Alert For Men) HOOTERS gave her wedge shaped, inflatable plastic pieces, to go in her bra under each breast. She also said that they had a little mouth piece (Like on a pool raft) so you could blow into them and fill them up before inserting them into your bra.
    So, maybe he should call his restaurant “Floaties”…unless anyone has any better suggestions.
    🙂
    Erin Cooper Reed
    My Life I Swear
    mylifeiswear.com

  61. Speaking of creepy dolls, I got a baby doll for trying on crocheted clothes I’m making for a granddaughter coming in July. The eyes are scarily real looking. My 17 year old cat was freaked out by it, so I store it face down in the corner (the doll, not my cat). My favorite book is Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver, it helped me get through bed rest during a pregnancy. And now I have some words for your body, “Stop picking on Jenny! Behave yourself!” Sending a big cyber hug your way.

  62. PS I was also scared to read “Lily and the Octopus” cause I hate sad animal stories. BUT it is so beautifully, heart-wrenchingly written that I read only liitle bits each day because I never wanted it to end. I think it’s an amazing love story. And as sad as it is, it really made me smile.

  63. ‘Mostly dead is still slightly alive’ -Miracle Max
    Have you read Geek Love by Katherine Dunn?

  64. Well, all the helpful people up there have been listing soul-soothing books to read, so I’m going to go against type and recommend some Youtube videos – the series of Sgt. Pepper’s / Star Wars mashups that begins with “Princess Leia’s Stolen Death Star Plans” (sing it to the tune of St. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts’ Club Band). https://youtu.be/NYD3QtyEGGM

    By the way, it’s America – you can sue anything that enters your mind, including your mind.

  65. Ooof, I’ve had those days where I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open to watch tv, but could I actually fall asleep and have a nice nap? Nooo. So, I went to librivox and got some audiobooks. I had enough time to listen to Anna Karenina in its entirety, so take that Lupus and/or RA (I don’t think my poor rheumy knows what to do with me…)

  66. Lily and the Octopus made me cry. Not a good book for you right now IMO. I read easy stuff when I’m down, silly stuff, right now Sookie Stackhouse. Junk food for the brain 🙂

  67. As a breast cancer survivor, I would like to be first in line at Boobies. There should be a wall on which we could leave our boob prints (or what’s-left-of-boob prints) with paint or pudding or something.

  68. There is nothing like a LuAnne plate, preferably with fried okra and a port of something chicken fried.

  69. Jenny, I share your pain. I’m on holidays for 2 weeks, and on Monday my brother died (not unexpectedly), and I got diverticulitis. So major pain, of all sorts, and 10 days of antibiotics. My body hates me, and I hate it back. Kudos to Victor for making you laugh, and thank you for giving me something to laugh at.

  70. Regarding books; I felt the need to revisit Jasper Forded and am working my way through his Thursday Next series, starting with The Eyre Affair and ending with The Woman Who Died A Lot. Audiobook, because my eyes get tired. If you enjoy some ridiculous, smart, sci-fi fiction drama, I highly recommend.

  71. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I saw my neurologist yesterday and it finally hit me that, eventually, I will likely be stuck in a wheelchair. After days of barely getting out of bed, struggling with a walker for months, and dealing with medical bills, it was finally too much. I tried to explain to my husband, but that was impossible for exactly the reasons you said. He goes to work, helps me, takes care of the fur babies and so much else, that my complaint just seemed silly. Your blog has been an amazing help the last year or so, and I just wanted you to know that every post helps somehow, no matter what it is!

  72. Regarding books; I felt the need to revisit Jasper Forded and am working my way through his Thursday Next series, starting with The Eyre Affair and ending with The Woman Who Died A Lot. Audiobook, because my eyes get tired. If you enjoy some ridiculous, smart, sci-fi fiction drama, I highly recommend.

  73. Glad you are starting to feel better. Hope you keep feeling better each day. Book worth a read that will help you laugh, or at least it did me. Didn’t I Feed You Yesterday?: A Mother’s Guide to Sanity in Stilettos by Laura Bennett. My husband even enjoyed it.

  74. I have The Weepies even though I have new baby chickens. This development is Not At All Good. I’m going to try some stand up comedy in Netflix tonight.
    The last book I read was White Trash — a 400 year history of… dammit. I can’t remember the proper whole name. But it was for my book club. I hadn’t finished it by the time we met so I felt like a dweeb. I still haven’t finished it. It’s dense and I think I forgot how to brain.
    I hope you’re on your way back up and out.

  75. If the best you can do is keep breathing, I fully support just breathing.

    You’re healing. For someone as perpetually productive as you are, I know this down-time is frustrating, but you need it. Try to remember that you’re worth taking care of, and if “taking care” means “doing absolutely nothing,” it’s okay.

    Random book faves, if you have energy to read:

    The River Why by David Duncan — laugh-out-loud funny, sweet, sad, redeeming, romantic, and about a way of life/sporting obsession utterly foreign to me but written so well that it’s interesting and entertaining despite my complete lack of interest in the sport.

    A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving — great story with some mystery and, yes, some tears. Editor should have axed the lengthy political asides, in my humble opinion, but the rest is wonderful.

    Wool series by Hugh Howey (and the gazillion pieces of fan fic it inspired) — if you really want to get lost down the rabbit hole of a long book series, this is a seemingly never-ending exploration of a post-apocalyptic world created by one author and enthusiastically expanded upon by many more (with the author’s blessing).

    By Blood by Ellen Ullman — fascinating, dark, mysterious, and just plain good prose. Trigger warning: the book deals in difficult subject matter, and the story’s narrator is deeply neurotic and depressed. While I found the way he describes his mental state very interesting, it could be triggering.

    The Storyteller by Jody Picoult — another one that deals in difficult and painful subject matter, but is a great read.

    Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg — which I can’t imagine that you haven’t already read, but you never know. The story is basically the same as it is in the movie (Fannie Flagg wrote the film adaptation), but the story telling approach is a bit different. Every bit as nostalgic and bittersweet.

    Hope you’re feeling more yourself soon!

  76. Ugh, I SO need the book suggestions myself. But! In Lancaster, PA there is a resturaunt/brewery called Boobies!!! Ok it’s spelled Bube’s but who cares when you can tell people, “I just slipped into Boobies, sucked one down, and damn it was good!”

    Feel better soon beautiful lady!

  77. No book recommendation but perhaps your illness could progress into testicular cancer??? The doctor’s wouldn’t see that one coming. I say it because you seem to get uncommon illnesses.

  78. Luby’s was the only place my FIL could eat after he retired from the Army. He seriously had issues at a restaurant that wasn’t cafeteria style. so old people and retired military seem to be their target audience. And people who see Jesus in their mashed potatoes. That goes without saying.

  79. It won’t fill up much of your time, but it’s good to have handy when you need a chuckle. Or just a wan smile. The Blue Day Book by Bradley Trevor Greive

  80. I just finished “My Lady Jane” by Cynthia Hand. It’s a quirky take on Henry the 8th story/era. Made me chuckle and was enough out of reality to make me forget about real life issues!

  81. Lincoln In The Bardo. Totally absorbed by this book. Just finished it. Laughed, teared up and I hope it is never made into a movie because my crazy brain made the most amazing graveyard, and for sure Hollywood will fuck it up😐 Please take care of yourself♡ You’re super important!!

  82. Read ‘A Man Called Ove’ by Fredrik Backman. Also ‘My Grandmother sends her Regards & Apologies’ by the same author. Both of them wonderful.

    So glad you are less dead.

  83. There’s a place called Luby’s? Please excuse me while I giggle.
    Feel better soon!!
    Thank you for the book recommendations! Sadly, I have none to give you right now, but I’ll post when I do!

  84. I had surgery recently and read this series while recovering – not my normal choice of genre but I got totally hooked on them! There are 18 books so if you like them you’ll be occupied for a while. The author is Nevada Barr, and the series is mysteries (sometimes violent) that all take place in National Parks. The main character is Anna Pigeon, a middle aged park ranger who kicks some serious ass.

    I would also go to Boobies 🙂

  85. If Biker Dude does open that restaurant — and he should, because we don’t have a Luby’s in Washington State, and some song on a Texas radio station once told me that it’s where all the Presbyterians go after church, so why don’t we have one? — then I’d have to go. Not just because I’m Presbyterian, but also because it would totally embarrass my teen son. Win-win!
    Don’t let your body kill you! I haven’t started adding color to your beautiful book yet!

  86. Have u heard of Uppgivenhetssyndrom?” If not, google it, because it will scare the hell out of you. The endless variations of mood disorders, mental illnesses and lunacy just keep getting worse, and this particularly horrific example is completely preventable but only sometimes reversible.

  87. I can’t really make any book recommendations, because all I’ve been reading the last few weeks is Furiously Happy (for the ninth; time) and old BabySitters Club books. Although if you happen to like sci-fi, and don’t mind a lesbian couple as the main characters, may I suggest (maybe again?) City of Hope and Ruin by Kit Campbell and Siri Paulson. It’s beautiful and magnificent, if you like multi-dimension monster books, which I usually don’t but I had to read it ’cause the authors are my friends, and I ended up liking it very much.

  88. Even though you feel like shit you still make me laugh. Thanks; Get well

  89. To answer your ever important question, yes I think you can sue your body. I would like to sue mine, I mean seriously why can’t my doc figure my issue with hearing my heartbeat and fast heart rate? Why do they always say “well it could be the medicine or it could be an aneurysm” let’s follow up in 1-2 months unless your CT scan shows something. I hope you feel better Jenny, you are truly an inspiration.

  90. But now that you’re expecting it, it can’t be unexpected leglessness! It’d have to be expected leglessness, and no one’s ever heard of that. So it’ll have to fade into something else like spontaneous wing growth.

  91. Dear Jenny – Thank you for all you do to brighten up the world! Sending you big hugs from Patches my cat (1 of 7)

  92. Hope you get less dead everyday! Being dead will totally make all your plans fly out the window. Take care of yourself in little ways at all times.

  93. napping problems and being too tired to watch tv: the struggle IS real. please feel better soon. or in less polite terms: kick this sickness’ ass!

  94. Cat: I loved Lily and the Octopus too, though the middle part was weird. But I thought it had the best, most hopeful, poignant ending. Jenny: so glad you’re mending. Take your time, breath, eat comfort food and laugh. We will be here. (If you haven’t already, friend the Bangor Maine Police Department on Facebook. Officer Tim Cotton has the best sense of humor- his posts are epic and they always end with “Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another. We will be here.”) Hugs!

  95. I’ve been excited cause I just got a new job but I have had less than no spoons lately and it’s very frustrating sometimes. But a book that usually cheers ms up is Zombies vs. Unicorns. It’s kind of YA but it is a funny anthology of zombie and unicorn themed stories with commentary throughout

  96. Ugh I so feel for you. I know your body is even worse than mine which is kind of a weird hero thing you have going on for me but I had a horrid (year long or two) recovery from a massive foot surgery (ended up with an Official Rare Disorder – CRPS- from it) and though I could read some I never had the energy to watch TV. So weird. Also I now know I was depressed at that time, which, really, was the only logical way to be! (yes I will always have the CRPS)
    Anyhoo, much love for you from me and yes, what you wrote totally counts as an official blog post 🙂

  97. Victor is a gift from the universe. He gets you to take your mind off yourself for a while.

  98. Lily and the Octopus is an extraordinary book, so beautifully written, but I did find it heart wrenching. I would second the recommendation as long as you are prepared for that.
    Dear Jenny, I feel I must apologize for even suggesting this but I have found the ministrations of my Naturpathic doctor to be of profound assistance in managing my chronic illnesses ant the symptoms thereof. Not a magic bullet but very helpful in improving quality of life. I realize this can be a polarizing topic, I would be whispering this if I could.

  99. You could read 44 Years in Darkness. Hey, you already have it! Go dig it out! (I had a library patron tell me just yesterday that it was “compulsively readable”. He’s going to bring his copy in to the library for me to sign. Yay me!)

  100. There’s a 4th Penric novella out from Lois McMaster Bujold. I have found all of the Penric books soothing and cheering. Also the final Lady Trent book is out from Marie Brennan–within the sanctuary of wings. That series can be a bit emotional but is mostly fun and full of whimsy. Seanan McGuire has a 6th incryptid book out, and if you’re on her patreon last month’s story was an aeslin mouse one set after the new book, and its inevitably charming af. (This month’s is in the October Daye universe and is also charming).

  101. I’m reading the not release Eddie Izzard bio and it’s bringing the joy! Just tell the book keepers you need one. Also I used to leave by a Luby’s with a drive thru. Which is either genius or shameful. I’m not sure.

  102. No no… from Oz the Great and Powerful and she’s creepy from the start. I like her but she just gives me the creeps the whole movie. This picture is not helping!

  103. When you bought the China Doll did you check out any of the others in that series? If you ask me, the Glinda doll looks more like Barbie than Michelle Williams
    Also,I pin every book you recommend and I have yet to be disappointed.

  104. ZOMG “unexpected leglessness.” This takes me back to a time 7 years ago when my daughter was in kindergarten and stopped being able to walk so had a wheelchair for awhile. One of her classmates asked me WHY she was in a wheelchair, but I didn’t know and was pretty freaked out about it but didn’t want her to freak out so I gave her the least scary answer I could think of right off the top of my head. “Oh, it’s just that her baby legs are falling out and we’re waiting for her adult legs to grow in.” Apparently, kindergarteners who secretly covet the attention that a wheelchair brings do NOT want to hear about the Leg Fairy. In retrospect the Leg Fairy would have been nicer than the missed leukemia diagnosis, but all’s well that ends well. My daughter now has perfectly healthy teenager legs without any fairy involvement.

    Thank you for writing, whenever you write. You’re awesome. Without you (and possibly Victor) my husband would not be feeling guilty for not buying and bringing home the giant metal rooster he saw in Italy. That is a gift. Thank you.

  105. Tough-looking biker who also photos his food? HAS to be the estranged, scurvy-ridden submariner brother! But also, possibly Boobies, because BOOBIES, of course!

    I’m glad you’re feeling better, even if it’s only just a little. I learned that Mercury stopped being in retrograde like at noonish today, so that’s something! Except now we will have nothing on which to blame our individual electronic fuckups. Ooopsie!

  106. Read Priestdaddy and One Day We’ll All Be Dead this week and loved them both.

  107. Maybe we could do a class action suit? It might make it easier if there was a group of us suing? I personally threatened to rehome my body today due to its antics.

  108. Maybe the radiation will give you super powers. Otherwise comic books have been lying to me all these years.

  109. Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. Or anything else by either of them.

  110. I feel like you would really enjoy WE ARE LEGION (WE ARE BOB) and FOR WE ARE MANY by Dennis E. Taylor. As someone who is often too tired for TV and reading, the audiobooks are narrated by the talented Ray Porter. (Who TOTALLY replied to one of my posts on reddit and said he’d save the whole thing for when he’s working on book 3 because it will totally help. Squee!)

  111. There’s a show called Space Dandy who always goes out to eat at a restaurant called Boobies.

  112. Hi Ms Bloggess.. i pray for your good health, physical health coz i adore your mental state, not out of sympathy, empathy or my heart’s goodness but for my love for every literary shit that your mind churns out.. lots of love 🙂

  113. I’m with you. If I could post a photo of me at the hospital in my wheelchair as your post came through about you in the ER, I would. Instead, I’m going to tell you that before you started opening up about your illness, your posts brought me much laughter and now that you are blogging more about your struggles, you continue to be a bright ray of sunshine in my day. I have all your books. I also have Ankylosing Spondylitis, Fibromyalgia, CRPS, and a bunch of other crap with all sorts of depression and anxiety issues over everything. My body is an asshole too, but my super power is that I have a body that attacks itself. PAIN IS MY MIDDLE NAME. Cool, huh? NO. Anyways, I’ve been in bed since January. I’m on a literary journey this year instead of on my feet. I burned through both your books and your coloring book just arrived at my doorstep in Taiwan, and your blog posts are coming through and shining on my newsfeed just when I need them. Hang in there. We need you. You need us. It’s a win-win relationship, right? Gentle hugs. I hope you start to feel better soon, Jenny. ~Carrie Kellenberger

  114. You should read Anthony Doerr’s 2 books: All The Light We Cannot See and About Grace

  115. Keep in mind that every time you (don’t die and then) begin to recover, it is not so much that the affliction is “fading away,” but YOU FIGHTING IT OFF AND WINNING. You are pushing that bus off your own self. Bootstraps, anyone?

    Take the credit for every survival as a win. (On the mornings when I fail to chew through the restraints, it’s not so much that I failed, but that I am so often successful.) Perspective, friend. There’s power in it.

  116. A few reading suggestions: Anything by T. Kingfisher, but I especially like Bryony and Roses, as well as Summer in Orcus. Wen Spencer’s Black Wolves of London made me laugh out loud over and over again as she twisted the traditional werewolf tale into something that was not quite what you expect.

  117. I’m hoping for the estranged brother in a submarine. The photos will reunite them and resolve their issues, then they open up Boobie’s together and become rich and successful. I’d watch the shit out of that movie.

  118. The A Court of Thorns and Roses series is amazing. There’s three books and the third was just released. It’s got fantasy, romance, sass, pretty much everything you’d ever want in a story. Sarah J. Maas has a fairy tale element, as the first is a reselling of Beauty and the beast. These books broke me in the best way.

  119. If you haven’t already, please read “We Are The Ants” by Shaun David Hutchinson. It’s meaningful and quirky and funny…and alien abductions!
    Re Boobies – someone opened a Hooters knock-off in Tampa years ago which had sexy male waiters instead of waitresses. They called it Peckers. Honest to God.

  120. The Original Ginny Moon by Benjamin Ludwig. The Twelve Lifes of Samuel Hawley by Hannah Tinti. Celine by Peter Heller. The Last One by Alexandra Olivia. News of the World by Paulette Jiles. And EVERTHING by Fredrik Backman.

  121. Blogging about why you’re not blogging is a perfectly legitimate form of blogging and something I’ve been doing often lately. I also just ate an entire bag of Haribo which I chased with a bag of Skittles, and this is perhaps why I can’t concentrate on blogging.

  122. Also, maybe we can combine and form a class-action lawsuit against our bodies for the stupid shit that they do to us? Like, why do I need to chase a bag of Haribo with a bag of Skittles? Ok, I really should work now…but just a thought.

  123. Your week sounds much like mine……WANT TO HAVE A PITY ANYONE! Sadly, where I live, almost everyone is over 70 and eats around 5pm! Want to feel young again? Go to dinner anywhere here at 5pm!

    As far as the biker goes, I think he is just taking pics for medical examiner if a autopsy for potentional food poisoning is required..😅😅😅😅😅😅

  124. I am sure most of us have a valid case to sue our own bodies but how? Social Security Disability is the only way I am aware of the you can possibly win the lawsuit!

  125. I just finished Gut by Giulia Enders on audiobook, a mixture of gross, fascinating and funny. Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology is good too. Get well soon, and don’t eat too much Boobies (too many Boobies?)

  126. Hi Jenny,…. the guy was probably checking if his salad was radioactive with some crazy cell app lol So… for you too have fun with cats… I shall recomend cat books….

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12850716-simon-s-cat
    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18159664-simon-s-cat
    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12324733-simon-s-cat-in-kitten-chaos

    And… so you get a little more fun….

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25855506-adulthood-is-a-myth?from_search=true
    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30754980-big-mushy-happy-lump?from_search=true

    Hugs Dominique

  127. If you can figure out how to add clowns and public speaking to that doll, you’ve got yourself a win. spider legs. yikes!

    I’m listening to “All over the Place” by Geraldine DeRuiter and I think Victor will enjoy it. I think you’ll like it too if you can laugh about traits you and her mom have in common. I’m just saying I could see you in at airport security with a pickaxe in your purse…only it would be a dead animal….i’m pretty sure that’s happened. 🙂

  128. There is an old brewery in my hometown of Mount Joy, PA called Bubes….only you pronounce it “boobies” and it is as awesome as it sounds especially since they have medieval feasts in the basement catacombs and you get to call your waitress a wench. Remarkably satisfying if she happens to be one of those girls on the high school cheerleading squad that used to pick on me. I had my wedding reception there….

  129. I’m currently bingeing my way through David Sedaris’ books. And also the Cemetery of Forgotten Books trilogy by Carlos Ruiz Zafon.

  130. Raney, by Clyde Edgerton, is southern sublime. I laughed out loud a billion times!

  131. Oh dear…. with your other posts and lack of energy, I’d tell you to look at Dysautonomia… but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Hopefully its a bad virus and you are exhausted but on the mend.

  132. Laughing out-loud in my office, by myself. Maybe you picked up another virus in the ER? One never knows. Went to the doc for a regular check-up, sat in the waiting room with all the other suckers and two days later had a full-blown flu. Down for two weeks! No one in the office or at home had it. So, had to be the doc’s office. Prolly touched something germy. I cried for four days and it felt damn good. Go ahead and let it out! If you’re suing, can we do some kind of class action suit? I’m in.

  133. PITTY PARTY, MY HOUSE, JULY 4TH (or date and place TBD).!!!!!!!!!!😄😃😂😁😀 All broken people welcome!

  134. Glad you managed to laugh, and make me laugh too. See, you still got it. Wait, you never lost it. WTF jb?

    Anyway, glad you’ve got great support around you.

  135. My suggestion for the combo-name of that restaurant would be “Loogies” and many many children would be begging their parents to have their birthday parties there.
    Also the chain’s Insta channel would be as epic as the hashtag #eatingloogies.

    Man I miss having a friend who’d make up stories with me about the people around us. One friend and I hurt our ribs laughing at being stalked by Liz Taylor.

  136. Dear TheBlogess,
    Please listen to the song “Creepy Doll” by Jonathan Coulton. You can find it on YouTube. (Other songs by him you should listen to: Ikea, Re: Your Brains, Shop Vac, Chiron Beta Prime, First of May, etc.)
    Cheers,
    Me

  137. I wonder if Boobies would offer discounts. I should get a pretty good one for the size of my rack.

  138. “Unexpected leglessness”. I’m crying… xD Please, please, please give “The Art of Racing in the Rain” by Garth Stein a chance if you haven’t read it already. It is absolutely beautiful and it is seriously my favorite ever. Make sure you have a box of tissues, though! <3

  139. “A Modern Witch” series on Kindle. Happy light reading. Glad you’re feeling a bit better. – Shannon

  140. I’m a Jane Austen fan so I really enjoyed reading Val McDermid’s retelling of “Northanger Abbey.” It’s a lovely modern day version set in Edinburgh instead of Bath. I’ve also been reading a lot of feminist writers lately. Gloria Steinem’s “My Life on the Road” was awesome. I second the person who recommended Bill Bryson. The last time I went to the UK I read “Notes on a Small Island” and it made me snort with laughter on public transport. That’s usually a sign that you’re onto a winner :-). The audio books of the Harry Potter series are great too – I could listen to Stephen Fry’s voice for hours.

  141. A Gentleman in Moscow was partly sad because, Russia. But also a lot funnier than I expected. And Underground Railroad was devastating. Sometimes, though, you need a little devastation; it’s like remodeling your brain.

  142. I collect unintentionally spooky dolls from op shops. My favourite is in a faded blue crochet dress, white blonde hair fuzzed like that heart-shaped hair follicle mutation issue that Einstein had. Plus, her eyes have turned pink.

    I think she was a collectable doll that someone left in the sun too long….

    Don’t close your eyes. She’ll eat your brains.

  143. I tried to sue my own body last year and it stated blankly that it didn’t have a lawyer or money. Just a pile of Canadian pennies. Then it laughed hysterically and walked away from me permanently.

  144. I almost got the China Doll after the movie because she was so BJD-like! Can’t wait to see your crazy pictures. Also, Luby’s is amazing and if only old people get it then there’s more for me (and you and Victor). MMM FRIED FISH.

    Glad you’re on the upswing!

  145. I have no idea what you are talking about because I live in England where there are no Luby’s, or even carrot ‘n’ raisin salad ( thanks be to God, it sounds bloody awful). I just wanted to say I hope you are feeling better soon.

  146. I’ve only read one of the Bobbie (not Boobie) Faye series, but I think you might like author Toni Mcgee Causey: http://tonimcgeecausey.com Apparently she’s writing “Gothic suspense” too. The Bobbie Faye books are set in Louisiana, and feature a Southern misfit who has lots of misadventures.

  147. I do hope you’re not dying. I love the creepy doll though. Maybe if you do die you can try to posses it and we’ll have an even awesomer Jenny.

  148. Ok How can someone be nervous to even post? What the fuck is that? Well I have to channel Marilyn Manson and the upcoming Zombie Apocalyspe to cope with a relative reality. Jenny Lawson, I didn’t even know how bad my anxiety was till you said you hid from answering the door….. I hide from my neighbors who are my friends but most of the time I can’t see or be around them but texting is ok. Hooooorayyyy at least I do that… Thank you ….When I am escape reading I search for best zombie apocalypse novels….. Can’t do the deep stuff or nonfiction….I dance to Marilyn Manson naked under my silk mu-mu…. Mira Grant Nesflesh. Best Sci-fi Zombie Anyway so glad you’re alive and on this planet. Nooooshka

  149. If it helps you on the road to recovery the list of reasons why the biker was taking photos of his food had me snorting with laughter. Now my neighbours think I have reached a new level of weird.

  150. JL,
    I’m at day 10 of recovery from double jaw and chin (not double chin to be clear) surgery and I want to sue the universe for not inventing some kind of pleasant tasting liquid that can pass for beer, wine, french fries…. REAL FOOD!

    I thought I was well prepared for the pain. Holy hell I was not. Having to ingest liquid Tylenol and Advil (the kids kind) was disgusting but fine until a few days home from hospital. Then suddenly I was not able to get any of those in. A combination of an esophagus condition, and the fact that the shit is just fucking revolting to begin with.

    I started out with Hydromorphone as my painkiller. Not realizing it until a few days after starting it, it would instantly turn my head into a sweating fountain of disgusting with a rapid heartbeat. So no to that.. Doctor visit and adjustment to Morphine, Results were the same but less severe.

    Finally on Friday after a trip back to the Doc, was able to confirm some pain meds that will actually work and do work and things have turned a corner. Still, I really miss real food right now. One other brutal side effect I’ve noticed from this procedure is that if I get even the slightest amount of stress, my jaws swell up and my head feels like it is in the Sauna.

    Since I cannot read or write for a long period of time yet (my head starts to spin when I do), I’m leaning on audiobooks for my food for thought, and music.

    May you recover and rebound rapidly.

    @WriterDann

  151. Girl, Luby’s is the bomb. My bf and I eat there like twice a month. Who cares if we’re the youngest people there 😛 Feel better soon.

  152. I am allergic to Everything and am currently in the grips of a 9 day allergic tantrum that my body decided to have. I have no idea what ticked it off, but I have hives and pain….yes, allergic reaction pain. Fuck you body. Tell me how it goes with the lawsuit. I may want to pursue one of my own.

  153. She’s beautiful! Her face looks very peaceful. I think drawing the eyebrows down slightly in the middle might give a more mischievous look. Or draw up one side of the mouth in a subtle sneer.

    …right now I feel kind of sad for the poor girl with unfortunate limb replacements.

  154. Oh Jenny-i gotcha babe. Been fighting my way back from gallbladder removal madness and i actually feel like i know what FEELS it is when someone gets “stabby”. And the fatigue girl – say goodbye to those sunny days outside…being that this is the 5th op in the last 6 years – we’re holding a raffle to guess what body part exits the building next. My odds on favorite is the appendix…why she still here? But enough about my fabulous organ weight reduction plan…hope you smiled- and keep on keepin on girl!

    XO
    XStacy

  155. I highly recommend a Canadian author Douglas Copeland. You would likely enjoy one of his books “All Families are Physcotic” my copy is worn out I’ve read it so many times! It will give you a good giggle or two when you’re feeling crappy ❤

  156. Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen. Now let me tell you I am not, or was not a big Springsteen fan before I read this book. I mean , I didn’t hate him or anything..but I wasn’t a groupie or anything. Anyway, this man can tell a story like nobody I have ever read before. Do yourself a favor and go to amazon and just read a bit of it. I promise you will want more.

    Also, Not my fathers son- Alan Cumming. Will break your heart , and heal it again in every chapter.

  157. If you haven’t already, you should read Samantha Bee’s book “I know I am but what are you?”

    It’s really funny and outrageous, and even better in audio form. Next to listening to your books in my car, she’s the one who keeps me from panic attacks during my long commute.

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