Remember last week then I asked where we should go on vacation and you gave me a thousand great suggestions that made me realize I’ve pretty much never really been anywhere? Well, we decided to go on a road trip and see stuff we’ve never seen before. Some of it normal stuff that everyone should see but more importantly, it’s a lot of weird-ass stuff you find on the way.
People have different ideas of what constitutes weird so for example I will use The Museum of Two-Headed Things that I recently discovered near my house, which was filled with much fewer two-headed things you’d expect (two, if you include the one hidden in a wooden box on the floor under bundles of human hair) and also gems like this:
Basically some lady found a dead squirrel in her attic in the 70’s and her kids were like, “Yeah. That’s nightmare trash” and she was like, “BUT IF I PUT IT IN A GLASS BOX IT’S ART” and they were like, “Mom, this is how hoarders start” and then (28 years later) she was all, “FINE. I’M DONATING MR. SINEWS TO A MUSEUM” and they probably just rolled their eyes at each other because what museum is going to happily take a dead 70’s attic rat? And the answer is THIS ONE and I’m pretty sure I just found the place to leave all my weird taxidermy to when I die.
And my dead pets will not be alone because they already have jewels like this one:
So this summer we’ll be driving from Seattle to Denver. (With stops in Butte, Jackson Hole, and Rawlins.) We’re going to see Yellow Stone and the Grand Teton and the Rocky Mountains like normal people, but we’re also going to try to do stuff like break into a wallaby farm, and ghost hunt in haunted hotels and abandoned prisons, and visit a 90 foot tall Virgin Mary. We’ve never explored these areas so if you have any suggestions (or access to wallaby farms, baby otters or other ridiculousness) on this route PLEASE LET ME KNOW.