The things we need to hear

I have a question for you. What is the thing you need to hear most?  The thing you wish you could have gone back to your younger self to say?  The thing you wish you could say to everyone else?

For me it’s the same thing for every question:

It’s going to be okay.

It is.  Even if it’s hard.  Even if it seems impossible.

It’s going to be okay.  I keep saying it to myself until I start to believe it.  You keep saying it too, okay?

Your turn.

552 replies. read them below or add one

  1. 1
    Jennifer Ebbing

    Be kind to yourself. I was unnecessarily hard on myself growing up.

    Liked by 10 people

  2. You are good enough, you are enough.

    Liked by 14 people

  3. “You are enough, just as you are.”

    That and “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.”

    Liked by 11 people

  4. That I’m not a failure even though I feel like one

    Liked by 6 people

  5. I couldn’t agree more! I would love to have that silent reminder that “this too shall pass” and everything will be okay. I think we beat ourselves up way too often. Thank you!

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Nobody else will remember that.

    Liked by 13 people

    askyermom recently posted Should I worry about the cat’s barfing?.

  7. It’s ok if people don’t like you.

    Liked by 7 people

  8. Breathe Deeply. Exhale. Keep doing it. And, ignore those negative thoughts. No one is thinking it but you!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I need to hear, “you’re hired.”

    Liked by 6 people

  10.         Sad to say, but mine is that someone besides my kids actually cares that I exist.   
    

    (I care. I’m glad you’re here. I bet I’m not even close to being the only one.~ Jenny)

    Liked by 8 people

    theycallmetater recently posted Coming To This Space Next Week.

  11. You are as smart as the others. You belong where you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It’s ok to be you. Your existence and experience of the world is just as valid as a “normal” person’s.

    Being dismissed simply because I have a mental illness is almost worse than the desease.

    Liked by 4 people

  13. This too shall pass.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. For me, it’s, “You’re going to be ok.” Because there are some things that have happened that will NEVER be ok. But somehow, I am. I am ok.

    Liked by 5 people

  15. Your weight doesn’t define you or your worth. I will keep saying it to myself until I believe it

    Liked by 9 people

  16. Your value is not determined by the mirror.

    Liked by 5 people

  17. It’s not your fault.

    It took nearly 40 years for someone to say that and me to realize they were right.

    Liked by 5 people

  18. Its ok to make mistakes. Its ok to not be perfect. It doesnt make you less lovable to be flawed

    Liked by 4 people

  19. That I am not broken, that it is not sin or evil within me, but a simple, chemical imbalance within my brain, and that when it gets sorted out, life gets so much better.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. You are not your darkness.

    Liked by 5 people

  21. “You’re doing a good job and we’re proud of you.” Hearing someone tell me that brings me to tears, every time, without fail. Sometimes I don’t think I’m worth the space I take up on this planet, but when I remind myself that there are people out there who are proud of me, I can keep going.

    Liked by 7 people

  22. I am braver than I realize.

    Liked by 4 people

  23. You don’t have to work harder or be perfect just because you’re adopted. They’re not going to trade you in for a “better” kid.

    Liked by 9 people

  24. 24
    Christopher Taylor

    You’re doing a good job!

    Liked by 5 people

  25. You have all the power you will ever need to change your life. All you have to do is decide you want to.

    Liked by 4 people

  26. A friend or family member telling me they love me…and knowing they mean it!

    Liked by 3 people

    The Hellion recently posted Why Couldn’t He Save Himself?.

  27. I need to hear “you’re hired.” Not from everyone, but really from a place of employment right now.

    Liked by 5 people

  28. That it’s ok to be you/me. That your feelings and contributions and perception of the world are just as valuable as a “healthy” person’s.

    Feeling dismissed because of my mental illness is sometimes worse than the desease.

    Liked by 3 people

  29. You are fine the way you are. You can’t please everybody. Go ahead and work towards your dream, you can do it

    Liked by 2 people

  30. “You are loved.”

    I know this deep in my heart, but my brain likes to try to tell me otherwise. Some days it succeeds.

    Liked by 6 people

  31. Everyone has their own struggles. You just might not be able to see them.

    Liked by 4 people

  32. It’s ok to not be ok.

    Liked by 4 people

  33.         That thing you wrote on your arm when you were doing the audio book dam it I forget what it was     
    

    (Pretend you’re good at it. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 3 people

  34. Go do what you really want to do now… because there might not be time later

    Liked by 3 people

  35. Do not build your life around a man

    Liked by 3 people

  36. “Above all shadows rides the Sun.” When I read that line in Return of the King, it changed my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. It doesn’t have to be this way.

    Liked by 1 person

    OwnLessDoMore recently posted I was not bare in bed, but a bear sure came *near* my bed!.

  38. “There are a lot of people out there in the world, and many of them will like you for exactly who you are. The ones who don’t, don’t count.”

    Liked by 4 people

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 208: Alaska Is Cold, Stuffed Squirrels.

  39. You are stronger than you think. You may be in hell today, but you will survive.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. You have a purpose in this world; don’t be afraid to look for it.

    Liked by 2 people

  41. In spite of your worst intentions, you WILL live to a ripe old age. Treat yourself accordingly!

    Liked by 2 people

  42. You don’t have to be suffering to be making a difference.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Do not dream of big things: the little dreams are worth chasing ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  44. That most things work out so don’t worry so much. So many situations that were legit bad/undesirable/unfair when they happened… But, everything is fine now. Sometimes it takes a few years. But, when I look at friends and family, those that kept moving forward are just fine.

    Liked by 3 people

  45. “You deserve better than the family you were born into.”

    Liked by 3 people

  46. You are who you need to be for yourself. You are enough.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. Do whatever you feel in your heart! No matter how young or old you are

    Liked by 2 people

  48. Re “It’s going to be ok…” I agree with you, because whatever it is – whether good or bad – it will end, stop, wind down, get fixed, go away… whatever. It’s all going to be all right.

    Penny Gates penny.gates@gmail.com

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  49. Your patience pays off. Your resilience rewards you. Let yourself be broken, and then get back to it when you are ready again.

    Liked by 2 people

  50. You are valuable, regardless of what you accomplish. You are not simply the sum of your outputs.

    Liked by 2 people

  51. You are stronger then you think you are

    Liked by 2 people

  52. You are worthy. Worthy of love, friends, acknowledgement for your accomplishments. Worthy of all things that are good in life.

    Liked by 4 people

    Barbara in Colorado recently posted Cat Morning Coffee Mug Black Manx and Orange Tiger Kitties Digital Oil Painting Cat Lover Cup by BabbselasDesigns.

  53. You do good things, good will come to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Embrace your uniqueness. Don’t place the value of being liked by others over your dignity and identity.

    Liked by 4 people

  55. Hug Grandma, every day.

    Liked by 1 person

    Celeste Noelani recently posted Writing Through Trauma, Finding Joy Behind Pain.

  56. WOW WOW WOW. I JUST told that same thing to my son this morning. He’s 12, just started 7th grade, and was stressing over how to handle a missed assignment that brought his grade down to a C. He was frustrated and worried, and when I dropped him off I said, “I know you can handle this. This is a growing up thing you need to do, and I know it sucks. It’s going to be okay.” I hope he sees that at the other end of this, however it works out, it’s okay. We will figure out how to bring his grade back up, etc. For me, I need to hear, “You’re not less-than.” In my mid-40’s and I still struggle with my self confidence and self worth. I apologize for everything. For example, I’m struggling not to apologize for my long post. LOL

    Liked by 7 people

  57. None of this really matters in the grand scheme of things.

    Liked by 3 people

  58. You are enough, and you deserve to be treated with love and respect. Don’t beg for scraps.

    Liked by 3 people

  59. It’s not your fault

    Liked by 2 people

    Andrea G recently posted Finally— remission.

  60. You actually deserve more, not less. You’re good at your job. Make them pay you what you deserve.

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Stop trying to do it all on your own and Listen to your body more.

    Liked by 2 people

  62. You are worth more than you think you are. Don’t let other dictate who you become. It isn’t easy, but you’ll get through it, all of it.

    Liked by 2 people

  63. It’s ok to not surround yourself with people who don’t value you.

    Liked by 3 people

  64. Don’t quit. Don’t run away. Just breathe. You’re always doing better than you think you’re doing.

    Liked by 3 people

  65. I have an app on my phone that checks for viruses. It sends a notification that says, “Everything is OK.”

    I think that’s why I keep it.

    Liked by 4 people

    Cris recently posted We could just say NO.

  66. Mine is, sort of, the same. I’m very change-resistant and have always dreaded any hint that change might be coming. But, as I’ve grown older, I’ve discovered that quite often the dreaded change never occurs and, if it does, it’s sometimes an improvement over the present situation. I have to keep reminding myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Stop caring so much about what others think – they’re just as messed up as you are. And learn to relax, for gosh sake.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Stop caring what other people think & what other people do. That’s not you. You are strong and brave and beautiful and kind and funny and talented. So just be you. Make mistakes. Embrace your flaws. Try everything. It’s all okay. Stand up for what you believe in, follow your heart, and most importantly BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! You’ll turn out just fine. Oh— and get in the habit of exercising every day, you’ll be glad you did. Trust me!

    Liked by 3 people

  69. “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”
    Juian of Norwich, author of the first book known to be written by a woman

    Liked by 4 people

  70. Be brave. Don’t let the fear guide your decisions and rule your life.

    Liked by 3 people

  71. Pay attention. Don’t be so blase’ about things in life, like “oh everything will be fine, I don’t need to worry about it”. No pay attention now, so that those things don’t come back around and bite you in the ass later.

    Liked by 3 people

  72. You are good enough.

    Liked by 2 people

  73. Don’t settle for pity; hold out for respect.

    Liked by 1 person

  74. 74
    Tracey Boutilier

    What I need to hear from my husband…. “It’s okay sweatheart, I will to the housework and laundry.”
    What I will tell my self when I was younger. “It’s okay to be different, be proud of who you are, speak up if something bothers you and you will find love.”
    What I would tell everyone else. “It’s okay to ask for help you are not alone.”

    Liked by 1 person

  75. Feelings aren’t facts. Stick to the facts and you’ll be ok. Depression lies and fuck fear!!

    Liked by 3 people

  76. “It’s not so bad.”

    Liked by 1 person

  77. You won’t be this isolated and alone forever; it will get better, and you will be happy again.

    Liked by 1 person

  78. Broken doesn’t mean worthless.
    I have YOU to thank for that one, Jenny. ♥

    Liked by 4 people

  79. Don’t walk away from your dreams. Try, even if you don’t believe you can.

    Liked by 1 person

  80. You are loved and loveable just as you are … and it’s ok to make mistakes.

    Liked by 3 people

  81. It’s very hard to believe people do/can/will like me. In that one respect, I’m the Sally Field of Tulsa, OK. So, maybe”Relax, you are a good and likable person.”

    Like

  82. It won’t turn out like you planned, and that’s ok!

    Liked by 4 people

  83. “A walrus is not a penguin.”

    Liked by 2 people

  84. It’s okay to say “no.”

    Liked by 1 person

  85. I got a tattoo of the thing I tell myself when something is going bad or stressful. “This too shall pass”

    Liked by 1 person

  86. Don’t marry that guy. Wanting to screw you doesn’t mean he loves you.

    Liked by 4 people

  87. Money isn’t the most important thing, time is.

    Liked by 4 people

  88. 88
    Jennifer Woolington

    It isn’t always going to be like this.

    Liked by 1 person

  89. “You will make mistakes. You will screw up. But it’s okay. You will be okay.”

    Liked by 2 people

  90. “All is well within my soul”
    Love that line, brings my shoulders down off my ears

    Liked by 4 people

  91. I think, especially right now, I need to hear that it’s okay to be overwhelmed and to not be consume by it.

    Liked by 1 person

  92. I need to hear that my child’s cancer is gone.

    Liked by 6 people

  93. You are worthwhile. You’re not disposable. You may not get our attention all the time, but that’s not a reflection on your worth. You are loved more than you know and we are here for you.

    Like

  94. I see you.

    Liked by 2 people

  95. 95
    Brenda Roudebush

    so true, jenny, many of us never internalized that simple voice of security & needed to find it for ourselves.. i’m still reassured when i surprise myself & hear my internal dialogue simply saying it’ll be okay..

    Like

  96. I think my past self needed to hear “it’s ok if your life path doesn’t conform to the usual structure. You define your own success.”

    Liked by 3 people

  97. The world is a better place with you in it.

    Even if you can’t love yourself, there are other people who do.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. Three things:
    “You do you”,
    “its ok to be selfish”
    “there is nothing wrong with being alone”
    I thought I had to follow the trend (get a partner, enjoy intimacy, find a job with growth, be social) to be “happy”. Once I realized that not all of these these things were important to me, I have been so much happier with life. I have a child I adore, no partner (or desire for one), a job that won’t go anywhere but that i enjoy, and a very tiny circle of friends that I trust implicitly. I feel fulfilled.

    Liked by 2 people

  99. You are depressed because you are anxious, not the other way around. Your brain is tricking you, you can see through those tricks!

    Liked by 2 people

  100. The world is a better place with you in it.

    Even if you can’t love yourself, there are other people who do.

    Liked by 1 person

  101. How others feel about you and how they treat you has absolutely nothing to do with you. Also, it is not your responsibility to make sure you fit into someone else’s life; if they cherish your friendship, they will make room for you.

    Like

  102. Thanks so much for this post…mine is that I’m a perfect child of God.

    Liked by 1 person

  103. I wish someone had told me I’d never be good enough because it’s the truth and it would have saved me from wasting all that time and energy on trying to be good. Maybe if I’d known that I’d never be acceptable I would have rebelled more, tried different things. Instead I followed every rule and tried so hard to be enough that I never learned how to just be. I’m good at surviving, but terrible at living.

    Liked by 5 people

  104. Most need to hear: “You are loved and have loved others well.”
    To younger self: “Speak until someone listens.”
    To someone else: “Hang on. I promise it will get better.”

    Liked by 1 person

  105. What I would say to my younger self: Some really bad stuff is going to happen, but you’re stronger than you think, & you will survive it all. The good part is that it will make you a better person, and a better parent.

    Liked by 2 people

  106. It’s going to be OK is my big one. But I want him to mean it when he says it will be…and I don’t anymore.

    Like

  107. You are doing the best that you can and that is good enough!

    Like

  108. You are not the only one. There are way more people like you than you’ll ever know.

    Like

  109. Some variation of “It’s going to be okay,” yeah. “Everything’s going to be alright,” usually, if I’m being specific. And it is! Sometimes it just takes time to get there.

    Like

  110. I think you put it best

    Liked by 1 person

  111. 111
    Kathy Eschbach

    Live your life the way YOU want. Seems I wasted so much time trying others suggestions that I really should not have.

    Like

  112. It’s ok, too not be ok. It’s ok to say no to everybody when you need to take care of yourself. It’s ok to listen to your body. You are still worthy of love. You are enough.

    To younger self: You are not stupid! You are not stupid! You are not stupid! You’re depressed and it’s the reason you’re grades have slipped, why you can’t concentrate, and why you can’t remember anything. PLEASE, GO GET HELP! It’s worth it.

    Like

  113. 113
    Spiffygirl602

    I’m sorry I hit you. I’m sorry we left you alone. I’m sorry i put you in that place and then left you with no help when I brought you home. I’m sorry in advance for the struggle you’ll have as an adult doing anything at all.
    I’m aorry.

    Liked by 1 person

  114. Stop basing your value on whether or not other people like/love you. Love yourself first!

    Liked by 1 person

  115. After all these years I have so many things I would tell myself. Chief among them, I suppose, is that ‘it turns out fine so stop being afraid’. Also….’go ahead, punch that fucking bastard right in the throat – he deserves it’ and ‘brilliant move to give that bully your Smarties – you use THAT skill plenty when you grow up’. Oh! AND….’don’t tell your friends that an Orgy is a group of 3 or more Ogres….your Dad was just being a smartass’.

    Liked by 3 people

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Bird Flipping, a Birthday Party and a Hospital.

  116. This, too, shall pass. Really. (Also, turn on all the lights and faucets, and check all the outlets, in a house you’re thinking of buying, because if the wiring is wonky, it will affect your life for YEARS. And you will grow to hate that house, even if you can see no way out of it, except in a coffin. But this, too, shall pass. Maybe.)

    Liked by 1 person

  117. Just because you’re different doesn’t mean you’re bad.

    Liked by 1 person

  118. Alcohol is a depressant. People who struggle with depression and drink alcohol are pouring water on a drowning victim (themselves). Or oil on a fire, I suppose, but really, depression is so much more like drowning than it is burning. It’s what I would say to my younger self, to someone else, and it’s what I do say to myself every time the urge for a glass of wine strikes.

    Liked by 1 person

  119. I know it feels so big today, but time will shrink it. Being so pointlessly combative only hurts you more. By the way, stop hurting yourself in general and treat your body like you will still be commanding it after 40, because SURPRISE! jazz hands

    Liked by 2 people

  120. Don’t be afraid of failure, take the chance to be you, it will work out

    Like

  121. It gets better. Remember to breathe.

    Liked by 1 person

  122. It’s okay to live your life the way you want no matter what anyone else thinks. And (sadly) not everybody you meet is your friend or has a good heart. Be cautious.

    Liked by 1 person

  123.         End it.  End it now.  People who claim to be your friends will abandon you.  Girlfriends will drop you without telling you why.  Nobody will try to work things out with you.  People are no damn good and aren't supportive, no matter how much you try to support them.  When they ask you how things are going they don't want the truth, they just want a simple, "Okay," because they don't fucking care about you.  You know it because you've already seen it and it just doesn't change.  Life sucks.  It's full of pain and abandonment and lies.  Save yourself a lifetime of betrayal and agony.  Nobody cares, nobody who claims to care is willing to actually take the time and effort to help you out of the morass of your depression.  There is no hope for you.
    

    (Vern, I am sending you so much love. There is hope. Depression tells such terrible lies and I know how easy they are to believe. Keep fighting. You are worth the fight. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  124. Being a creative type will bring you more joy than all the successful business ventures in the world. Embrace it, or you’ll be having a midlife crisis at 35 when all you want to do is create, but you have no talent or skill to do so.

    Like

  125. Go for it! Stop worrying about what other people think and enjoy every last minute of this precious thing called life.

    Liked by 1 person

  126. 126
    Jessica Sturm

    You are enough.

    Like

  127. You are worth more than what others think of you.
    There is light, and hope, and happiness and it will find you.
    Breathe and know that you are loved.

    Like

  128. You are enough, just the way you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  129. Don’t listen to the judgy voices in your head that take on the role of family and friend. They don’t judge you that way, and if they do, their not worth your love. There are too many others out there who will love you.

    Like

  130. You are enough…. whether it’s good enough, smart enough, loving enough, trying hard enough… I have MS and especially these days after I have progressed to where I need more help, I start feeling like a burden. More trouble than I’m worth. Next month will be 13 years since I was diagnosed and many friends have fallen away. The few that remain make me feel like I’m enough.

    Liked by 2 people

  131. 131
    Sandy Cumberland

    You are important. You matter. You are heard.

    Liked by 1 person

  132. Only listen to people who support you. Ignore everyone else’s opinion of you.

    That would have saved me 25 years of self doubt

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  133. Believe it or not, people are going to like you as an adult.

    Like

  134. Your trauma does not define you, don’t let him win.

    Like

  135. Don’t put potato peels down the garbage disposal. Oh well, this too can be fixed.

    Liked by 2 people

  136. Making mistakes is just a way of learning

    Like

  137. Your not too weird for everybody, you will find your people.

    Liked by 3 people

  138. 138
    Adella Averill

    You are not too weird for everybody, you will find your people.

    Liked by 1 person

  139. 139
    Adella Averill

    See, too weird, can’t even comment correctly.

    Liked by 1 person

  140. Follow your bliss and don’t be embarrassed about things you love!! There were so many cool things I missed out on because they were “nerdy” or “uncool” and I’ve recently started embracing those things and I’m much happier for it!

    Like

  141. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. You don’t have to feel guilty about saying No. You are enough as you are. You are worthwhile.

    Liked by 2 people

  142. You are absolutely perfect just the way you are. You don’t need to keep trying to fit into someone else’s definition of right or perfect just to feel worthy.

    Like

  143. YOU HAVE ANXIETY. That is why everything is terrifying and your body feels like bees. It can all be so much easier than this.

    Liked by 2 people

  144. In a way, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve been in a down cycle lately, partly because I’m grappling with whether I want to stay married and all the feelings that go along with that. Being deeply empathetic makes it even more difficult. I’m struggling.

    Like

  145. It’s okay to not feel okay. It’s okay to feel like things will never be okay again. Don’t berate yourself for having those feelings or thoughts. Just try to remember that it’s the depression talking, not logic or reality.

    Like

  146. For me it would absolutely be: “You’re doing great”. It’s that simple – I just want to be reminded and remind everyone else that we are giving it our best even if we let ourselves or others down and that is just fine. We make mistakes, we aren’t perfect, but we’re doing the best we can with what we have to give everyday and we’re all doing great.

    Liked by 1 person

  147. You are definitely NOT fat!

    Liked by 1 person

  148. Bisexuality is real. You’re not being “greedy”.

    -and-

    Never dim your light just to make others feel comfortable

    Liked by 2 people

  149. One day you will be able to admit that all that time you were actually terrified and full of rage, rather than playing a smiling, cheerful person despite the fuckery going on around you. And it will free you.

    Like

  150. What I need to hear…. don’t take yourself so damn seriously! None of us are getting out of this thing alive so we might as well have fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  151. You have INHERENT WORTH

    Liked by 1 person

  152. I am good enough, smart enough and doggone it, people like me!!!
    I grew up with SNL, so sue me. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  153. From “I💜Huckabees” – Everything you could ever want or be, you already have and are.

    Like

  154. You are not lazy, selfish, rude, or anything else like that. You have autism, and it means your brain is wired differently. There is nothing “wrong” with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  155. It’s not your fault.

    Like

  156. 157
    Nikkity Cricket

    You’re amazing and fuck those guys.

    Liked by 3 people

  157. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to cry

    Liked by 2 people

  158. No Matter What You Are Beautifully Enough!
    No Matter What You Are Strong Enough!
    No Matter What You Are Fierce Enough!
    No Matter What!

    Like

  159. “Depression lies to you. Don’t believe it.” Can’t tell you what a profound difference that has made in my life since I first read it here. It seems so simple, but I wish I had known it when I was younger.

    Liked by 3 people

  160. 161
    Alicia Madsen

    You can be the juiciest peach on the tree, but there’s always someone who doesn’t like peaches.

    Liked by 2 people

  161. You are safe. Even if everything is not perfect, you’re still going to be ok.

    Liked by 2 people

  162. I feel the most important thing is less “Pep yourself up” and more “realise what it is you’re feeling and why.” Not to say the other things said in this comment section are unimportant or untrue, I just feel there is more to it that telling yourself you’re worth it.

    You gotta be introspective.
    Are you feeling like crap? Try to understand why it is you feel like crap, and what you need to have/do to feel better. The answer may not always be happy go lucky, sometimes to feel better you first have to hurt. Sometimes you have to accept friendships aren’t forever. Sometimes you have to realise you fucked up before you can learn. Sometimes you will need to change. Not because others tell you to, but because you’re hurting yourself for no reason other than pride or shame or fear or something else that only serves to cripple you in your day to day life/

    Or maybe you just really need a hot cocoa and a hug, and that’s fine too.
    Feeling good about yourself is important, you are the only one in your life that can never leave you. But don’t try to sugarcoat your mistakes in order to feel good. Treat yourself as if you would your children, with love and kindness but also honesty.

    Sometimes I need to tell my boyfriend that I feel sad and I need someone to tell me a joke even though I don’t feel like talking to anyone.
    Sometimes I need to turn off my laptop for I have spent too many damn hours on youtube and the content I’m watching is not interesting to me in the slightest.
    And sometimes I’m just so damn happy because I’m surrounded by those that I love, and taking the time to realise that is a really nice boost.

    Sorry this message got so long ^^; but if only one out of you people found this useful it’s worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Derontomy recently posted Velvet 2.

  163. ‘You are enough as you are….. it diesn’t matter what ANYONE else thinks.’

    Like

  164. I just heard the thing I needed to hear since last July: a job offer.

    I am good enough. For someone, I am good enough.

    Like

  165. It’s not your fault that you were sexually abused. I believe you. You aren’t tainted or irrevocably broken. You still deserve to be loved and cared for and you don’t have to cope with this huge burden all on your own.

    Liked by 1 person

  166. I would love to be able to tell my younger self that I AM good enough so stop worrying and enjoy life.

    Like

    Crista H recently posted Easy and Quick Pickling Method.

  167. “Success is measured different ways. You’ll get there.”

    Like

  168. It’s ok to fail, to not know, and to feel alone. Hell, small me, it’s ok to cry too, don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t.

    Liked by 2 people

  169. It’s going to be okay is very very good, I’m going to be okay even. This too shall pass? Of all of the things I’ve worried about, very few of them ever came true.

    Like

  170. What I needed and need to hear is “no one on this earth is perfect, and you don’t have to be perfect either. I don’t have to hate myself for the things I’ve done. Please, please love yourself. You are an awesome and loveable woman, and you will always be. Believe in yourself.”

    Liked by 1 person

  171. You’re not crazy. This isn’t normal. You’re right to feel traumatized. It’s ok to be angry about it and it’s NOT fair.

    Like

    Kat recently posted Jack Nicholson Was Wrong. I Can Handle The Truth.

  172. There’s no such thing as perfect, Ma-Maw doesn’t know what she’s talking about, God made you to be who you are and won’t send you to Hell because you want to dance and read Harry Potter.
    (Kind of weirdly specific, but my extremely religious grandma kicked off some severe anxiety.)

    Liked by 1 person

  173. To my younger self: you don’t have to try so hard. It’s ok to take it easy, it’s ok to relax. It’s ok to ask for help.
    To everyone that thinks other people think you’re not good enough: people are idiots. That’s not your responsibility.
    Oh, and: some people are just more people than others…

    Like

  174. Everything will be okay
    Don’t care what people think of you
    I am good enough

    Like

  175. 176
    Eileen Hathaway

    Buy stock in Macintosh/apple computers

    Liked by 2 people

  176. 177
    CreatingTheRoad

    You’re a good person and the small little things you do are important and make a difference.

    Like

  177. Repeating comment 74 (thanks Tracey!)
    1. It’s OK to ask for help.
    2. You are not alone.
    and adding my sister’s wisdom that always cracks me up: 3. Pobody’s Nerfect.
    and at the risk of outing myself: 4. Do the Next Right Thing.(and don’t worry about what others are doing,-It’s not my problem.)

    Like

  178. Stop trying to meet his standards. HE can’t even do it. It’s futile for you to try. You are good at what you do. Let THAT be enough.

    Like

  179. I think that covers it, to be honest. That would have been good to hear. Along with “you truly know more than you think you do.” “don’t go out to dinner so much–save the money.”

    Like

  180. She’s the one who’s crazy. Not you. You’re not fat, you’re not stupid, you’re not ugly, you’re not a liar. You’re normal, she’s not.

    Like

  181. Don’t discount yourself just because other people cannot see your value.

    Liked by 1 person

  182. Be kind, but remember you can’t please everyone.

    Like

  183. What I’ve always needed to hear is “Nobody else knows what they’re doing either.” For those times (all of the time) when I feel like I’m the only one.

    Liked by 1 person

  184. It’s ok to be shy and quiet, people will like you anyway. Boys DO make passes at girls who wear glasses

    Like

  185. Don’t waste a moment of your life. They only feel like they’re in unlimited supply.

    Like

  186. 187
    Tretta Morvant

    10 years from now whatever stupid shit you’ve done will not matter!

    Like

  187. “You are so much better than you give yourself credit.” I’ve always had this problem of having very high expectations for myself and feeling like I’ve let everyone down when I don’t live up to them. Some times, like right now, it hits harder and I feel about to be exposed as a loser. Except that most people don’t have those high expectations and think I’m great the way I am. No matter how much I remind myself of that, it only helps when someone else says it.

    Liked by 1 person

  188. I am perfect just the way I am. Growing up with a rigid, demanding father was tough. Until I was in my forties, I questioned everything about myself. But I figured it out, and I am so happy with ME.

    Liked by 1 person

  189. Don’t be ashamed of making a mistake or letting people know that you don’t know what you’re doing.

    Like

  190. 191
    designgeeksf

    I spend so much time beating myself up and doubting everything I do. Its like I revel in breaking down my confidence because it feels so familiar. Even in my 50’s, I have to remind myself daily to stop doubting myself and worrying about what others think.

    Two things to share:

    “It is very east to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own.” – Jessamyn West

    “I would have told people to ‘fuck off’ more.” – Dame Helen Mirren

    Liked by 1 person

  191. “I’ll help protect you from the bad things your mind is telling you”.

    Liked by 1 person

  192. You’re great just the way you are.
    My parents constantly called me fat, and I wasn’t at all, and I never knew. So many bad things have come from that. I would tell myself that I look great. Because I did.
    To everyone else, kindness always matters.

    Like

  193. 194
    ghostandmarrow

    What I tell myself when I’m angsting over something that may or may not happen: “Don’t water the kudzu.”
    What I tell myself when I’m wondering if I should take the risk or wait on it: “Buy the damn plane ticket.” (Not always having to do with planes and such, but I had a friend pass away earlier this year and I will be kicking myself for quite sometime for not buying a plane ticket to go see him even though it would have taken me a long time to pay off the credit card balance. Regret is a lot heavier than debt.)

    Like

  194. You are not fake, you are not an imposter, you are good enough.

    Like

  195. 196
    Laura Condit

    Is anyone else concerned about the person who posted comment #123? I’m worried about him.

    Like

  196. It’s ok to say no, you need to take care of yourself too.

    Like

  197. I forgive you. For that stupid thing you said 10 years ago, for being so paralyzed by trying to decide what to say that you never responded at all, for being too much, for not being enough. I forgive you.

    Liked by 1 person

  198. No one is going to love you the way you want to be loved, so do it yourself. Stop looking for someone else to do it and woman the fuck up and love yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  199. Don’t ever settle for less than you deserve. And learn to forgive yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  200. Don’t take your health for granted.

    Like

  201. 203
    Stephanie Krause

    I’m proud of you. Typing it out now at my desk as a grown-ass 40-something, the thought of what hearing that might have changed still makes me tear up.

    Liked by 1 person

  202. Need to Hear: My good friend and I make a running joke out of saying, “You were right.” But of course, it isn’t just a joke–it really IS what I need to hear. I grew up being told that everything–Every. Single. Thing.–I said or did was stupid and wrong. I recently had a washer/dryer put in my condo; it took me years to decide, even though I hated going to a laundromat SO MUCH. I was worried about the expense and whether it was the right thing to do. I mentioned it to an acquaintance; she casually replied, “Oh, you’ll be so glad you did!” and I almost cried. Just being told I was making a right decision meant that much to me.

    Wish I’d Heard: “Not everyone is like your family. You are a smart, talented, valuable person. Dream big–you can do anything. Never ever go on a diet.”

    Say to Everyone Else: I’m sorry. I know I have screwed up so, so much. You deserved better.

    Like

  203. Don’t let all the horrible things that have happened define you!

    Like

  204. 206
    Carol McKown

    You’re doing a good job, I’m proud of you. No one ever said it. I guess it was supposed to be assumed if someone wasn’t saying the opposite?

    Like

  205. No one can predict the future unless they look at the past. The future is for lessons learned from what has come before.

    Like

  206. “It’ll work out fine”

    Like

    Gaz recently posted Corn cheese and sous vide lamb rack.

  207. Love yourself, then love others. Build boundaries that let that live shine through.

    Liked by 1 person

  208. 210
    Doug in Oakland

    The charges have been dropped.

    Like

  209. SO, that’s sort of two things, and it’s “Love” not “live”, but that still works.

    Like

    Carol Lennox recently posted My Love Affair With Santa Fe.

  210. It will all be ok in the end. If it’s not ok then it’s not the end.

    Like

  211. You got this. You can do it!

    Like

    susielindau recently posted Aspen Alley Leaf Peeping in Breckenridge.

  212. No one knows everything- not even you. Err on the side of love.

    Also, literally no one thinks as much about how you move through the world as you do. You do not have an audience so don’t hide.

    Like

  213. It’s OK to be different, there are other like you and you will find them.

    Liked by 1 person

  214. people DO care about you.

    Like

  215. You are lovable, and worthy of love, exactly as you are.

    Like

  216. 218
    Amy Halperin

    1) No one is “better” than anyone else. Only Different
    2) At least half of the way somebody responds to you has nothing at all to do with anything you have ever been, said or done. And vice versa
    3) no one is 100% who you think they are. This includes you
    4) no one can “make” you feel anything, good or bad, except you
    5) not everything is about you
    6) some of the people you love are just bad for you. Like alcohol and chocolate, it’s probably best to limit your exposure

    Like

  217. Leaving a bad situation isn’t failure, it’s actually a lot closer to success.

    Liked by 1 person

  218. That you are awesome the way you are and there’s nothing wrong with you.

    Like

  219. You’re not messed up.

    Like

  220. How you feel is valid.

    Liked by 2 people

  221. Your now is not your always.

    Liked by 1 person

  222. One day, this won’t matter, either.

    Liked by 1 person

  223. Resist the temptation to shrink. You have every right to take up space. When people say “too big, too much” they are simply telling you that they are too small and weak to handle the goddess you are.

    Liked by 2 people

  224. I am NOT a typical member of this community, so Need to Hear: “I can state with 100 percent certainty there’s no vengeful god who continues your existence after death so he can torture you if you didn’t suck up to him.” Tell Younger Self: “If you don’t stop dreaming and wishing and get off your butt and DO something, you are going to die regretting that you wasted your life.” Say to Everyone Else: “Sorry, this is just how I am. I’m not doing it on purpose.”

    Like

  225. Major in practical subjects like programming and accounting and they will not ask your dislexic self to type 100 WPM.

    Like

  226. the words that have helped me most are “WE ARE ALL STRANGE AND WORTHY OF LOVE”. I have used that like a mantra when in situations with people where it is a little crazy. I believe it is true. We all walk a different path and we all have our own weirdness. but we all have value in this life.

    Like

  227. You’re not alone.

    Like

  228. You are enough. Not because of something you did or something you are going to do. Just because you are you, you are enough.

    Like

  229. 231
    useyourthinkball

    Everything is figureoutable.
    When someone criticizes you, laugh and agree with them.
    Genuinely not caring what other people think is empowering.

    Liked by 1 person

  230. “Screw those jerks, you are awesome.”

    Like

  231. Well fuck, now I’m all contemplative ‘n shit.

    I loved (and still love) my mom fiercely – but I wish (as a kid) I had had a name for her depression and not perceived it as disinterest in and distance from me. I wish I had had a name for my own depression – for my avoidance of school and people but tendency to hang out with some pretty shitty “friends” who preferred me feeling small. I wish I had felt more brave.

    I would tell kid me to believe in herself. I would tell her that she’s kind and funny and creative and encourage her to do what makes her smile. I would tell her that she’s enough, and that she already knows what really matters because she was born knowing and lives it daily. I would tell her that her friends are assholes and that the best friends will help you believe you have wings and remind her of who those people are. I’d tell her all those things.

    Liked by 1 person

  232. I need to remind myself daily that “I have enough.”

    Like

    becomingcliche recently posted The Introverted Activist: Be the Light.

  233. 235
    MediaEnthusiast

    “You’re not in trouble.” I feel like I always am.

    Like

  234. You’re attractive and funny, and people really like you. Also, hang on to that AT&T stock.

    Like

  235. I wish I knew. I’ll be 31 next month and I don’t know what to tell myself now, much less what to say to my 13 y.o. self. Sorry if that’s not helpful, but it’s the truth.

    Like

  236. You’re worth it. I’m worth it. We will get through this, breathe.

    Liked by 1 person

  237. The perfect is the enemy of the good.

    You are good enough, ARE enough, and you don’t have to beat yourself up because you aren’t perfect.

    I wish I had heard (or listened to) more advice like that when I was younger. It can be so hard to start something when the pinnacle of “perfection” is so far away. Like, it is okay if the entire kitchen isn’t sparkling, I don’t need to focus on that, when all I really need to get done right now is the small collection of dishes in the sink.

    Liked by 1 person

  238. Don’t listen to the negative voices from outside but especially those from within.

    Liked by 1 person

  239. For my younger self: “It’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to be ashamed.”

    Like

  240. For all of the above: I/you have value.

    Like

  241. Their opinion of you doesn’t define who you are.

    Like

  242. I love you, and everything is already okay.

    Liked by 1 person

  243. Honestly I don’t even know where to narrow it down. How about, Stop putting people on pedestals and being devastated when they fall off. Oh and YOU DO HAVE A PURPOSE! You do NOT have to settle! It maybe uncomfortable asf in between but DO NOT SETTLE! (also- the fine line of what is settling and what is NOT settling and what is temporary or long term…etc) OH and you are not stupid. Just because you do not have penis, you can do things that men traditionally do. Wanna write your name in the snow? GET SOME AQUARIUM TUBING!

    Like

  244. That I’m pretty.

    I’m…. not. But perhaps that’s why it’s so more meaningful for me to hear it? If someone tells me I’m smart or that I did a good job, it’s like yeah, no, I know. It means nothing to me. If someone actually tells me I look nice – and seems to mean it! – it is really affirming for me to hear.

    Like

  245. I would say “This is going to be a wild ride! Put your head down and hang on tight!”

    Liked by 1 person

  246. “I see you.” I’m the girl who always needs to be introduced twice.

    Liked by 1 person

  247. Vern #123: Everything you said is absolutely NOT true! Depression lies. It makes you think some VERY WRONG THINGS. There ARE people who will love you and care about you and support you. While challenges in life are difficult, NOTHING is so bad that ending it is a good choice. Please reach out to a crisis line and one of those supportive people will be waiting.

    Like

  248. You are you, not your sister.
    Get up and move your body!

    Like

  249. After two bouts of cancer no matter what the day throws at me I tell myself “at least you’re on this side of the dirt”.

    Liked by 1 person

  250. “It’s not your fault.”

    Even though my brain still tells me it is.

    Liked by 1 person

  251. Everyone else is just as afraid as you are.

    Like

  252. “You belong here.” That and, “I see you – you aren’t taking up too much space.” I realized how much I try to cede space to everyone around me when a friend asked me one day after I’d had a good day, “Are you okay?” and I started to cry while riding the subway. I realized that no one – not my colleagues, not my partner, not my other friends, had asked how I was doing in a long time, and I needed to know that I was seen. I’d tell my younger self to be just a bit more entitled to take up space in the world – and demand that others give that space.

    Liked by 1 person

  253. In looking back I guess it would have to be don’t be afraid to ask for help. I also have problems believing I am a good person. People tell me quite often that I am but it hasn’t sunk in yet. Don’t know if it ever will. That’s one reason I am so grateful for your quote of don’t believe everything you think. That one hits home hardest. And most true.

    Like

  254. As a child, you are forced to interact with quite a few douche bags and dick wads. When you grow up, you will be able to choose who you spend time with. Like smart, funny, nice, creative people. Plus you will have good mood stabilizers.

    Like

  255. You are safe. Breathe.

    Liked by 1 person

  256. #123 Vern. Please get some help. My twin brother committed suicide 36 years ago because he had no hope. Please don’t do that–people around you care a lot more than you think. Your depression is a nasty demon that keeps you from seeing that. I have had depression all my life and so have a lot of other people on here and there is hope! Get some therapy and some meds and your life can turn around. Please!

    Liked by 1 person

  257. You don’t have to be Perfect to be Loved.

    Liked by 1 person

  258. Embrace being different. I know that all you want to be right now is normal and popular, but you are amazing as you are. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  259. You are enough. It will all be ok.

    Liked by 1 person

  260. 262
    Pellington21

    Floss more. Eat less. Exercise more. Invest in Google, Apple, Starbucks and Disney.

    Like

  261. There is no such thing as perfect. Relax and know everyone makes mistakes.

    Like

  262. You are a person. A whole person, the whole time.

    Liked by 1 person

  263. It happened. It wasn’t your fault. It isn’t your fault now. You’re gonna be okay.

    Liked by 2 people

  264. It’s okay to be a mess. But strive to be a radiant, glorious, generous and kind mess.

    Liked by 1 person

  265. Don’t let other peoples words define how you see yourself.

    Like

  266. It’s going to be okay is the most important one, and my parents rarely said it. Also, I love you was never said very much. I make a point of saying it every single day to my children, and the rest of my family whenever we talk on the phone. Finally, well done. Not everyone can achieve what others achieve, but they nearly lose their minds trying their best.

    Liked by 1 person

    Mamacita recently posted Never Mind Meat Sweats!.

  267. What I think and feel matters. I matter.

    Liked by 1 person

  268. Your thoughts and feelings matter. You mayter.

    Like

  269. I like the Indian saying Dev Patel cited in “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”: Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not yet the end.

    It makes me feel like each person is the hero in his own story. He must go through trials to reach the happy ending. So if he’s struggling, he’s still mid-story and must persevere til he gets there.

    Like

  270. What is the thing you need to hear most?
    Sometimes it’s simply “how are you”, to remind me people still remember I exist. “Want a hug?” really works for me as well.

    The thing you wish you could have gone back to your younger self to say?
    It’s going to not only get better, but it will get so much better that even 15 years from now you won’t be able to believe it.
    (I wouldn’t mention the chronic illness bits. Younger self had enough stuff to deal with.)

    The thing you wish you could say to everyone else?
    Never believe you’re too old to try something. Unless that something is professional sports. Then you’re already too old, even if you’re a newborn.

    Like

  271. “You matter.”

    Like

  272. You are worth it. You are loved.

    Like

  273. There are a lot of things that would have changed my life..here are a few.
    1) You are not broken, you are on the Autism Spectrum, which means your mind is wired a bit differently. That is OK, and in time you will get to a point where you can deal with the weirdness.
    2) You are not responsible for your mother’s alcoholism. It is her problem, not yours…so do not make it your problem.
    3) Not everyone is going to like you, or “get” you…that is not a problem with you…and it is OK.
    4) You are not responsible for fixing the world.
    5) Just because someone tells you they love you unconditionally, that does not mean it is true…or that they will not try and change you into what they want or need.

    Like

    xmundt recently posted America….a LAND of Immigrants!.

  274. 276
    Cassie Steger

    I need someone to tell me that even though one of my best friends just died that one day I’ll be able to remember him with sobbing. Right now it doesn’t feel like it will ever happen.

    Like

  275. I wish someone had told my six year old self, after my dad died, that I had worth and I deserved to be loved and supported. Actually, anytime during my childhood would have been nice. Or now even.

    Liked by 1 person

  276. You are not responsible for everyone you love. You only control YOU. Boundaries, I wish someone had told me about them when I was a kid.

    Liked by 1 person

  277. NO ONE IS LOOKING AT YOU; DO THE THING!

    Liked by 1 person

  278. You said that after the election, and it actually brought me a bit of peace. I’m still clinging to it. Thanks for saying it again.

    Like

  279. You are safe now. It is ok to be angry. You are not broken, you haven’t been destroyed. It is going to be ok.

    Liked by 1 person

  280. This job is not worth making yourself sick over. Leave your desk. NOW.

    Liked by 1 person

  281. I wish someone had told me in my 20’s that I could make a respectable living as a writer, especially if I was willing to write more than fiction, but that I could do both, if I started working at it right away and not working on the “fallback career” that’s taken up most of the last 30 years.

    Like

  282. You will be okay. You can do this! At the most trying points of my life, I text myself positive comments. Somehow that text coming through means more than just saying it in my head or writing it down.

    Liked by 1 person

  283. 286
    eleventhpercent

    It’s going to get better. Then it’s going to get worse, but you’re going to be okay. All will be well.

    Liked by 1 person

  284. The loneliness you feel now will make you stronger.

    Like

  285. 288
    Crysta Kessler

    “I forgive myself.” I believe my life might have turned out very differently if I had learned this at a young age.

    Liked by 1 person

  286. Listen to that little voice inside that says “beware” or “something’s not right”. It doesn’t matter if other people think you’re rude or stuck up. If you feel unsafe, it’s okay to listen to that little voice and take action.

    Liked by 2 people

  287. “I’m sorry that happened to you. You’re in the right place now. We will help you.”

    Liked by 1 person

  288. “I believe you.”

    Liked by 1 person

  289. Accept the love that your tribe sends to you all the time. And know that a hand dyed yarn exists with the color name of “Don’t Be a Twat-Waffle”. And it’s really pretty!

    Liked by 1 person

  290. You’re amazing.

    Like

    Hell's Bells and Mast Cells recently posted When healing takes forever.

  291. “There is no deadline. Commit to the process and take it day by day” – Winning By Losing.

    It’s a weight loss book and I made it to chapter 3. But I think I got the best part of it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  292. Don’t let the muggles get you down.

    Like

  293. Love yourself first. You are enough.

    Stop giving a shit what other people think.

    Like

  294. Treat yourself like you treat your friends.

    Like

  295. 298
    Kathi Guerrant

    You can’t get something over with until you start it. Those words get me through everything from exercise to colonoscopies.

    Liked by 1 person

  296. I’m leaving him (my mother about my father re his sexual abuse of me)

    Liked by 2 people

  297. I would say you are perfect just the way you are.

    Like

  298. Bob Marley reassuring me, 🎶🎶 Everything is gonna be alright. Everything is gonna be alright. 🎶🎶. It reminds me that everything really is gonna be alright. I love it.
    One anxiety besieged, sleep elusive night I asked my husband to tell me that. He looked at me and quietly said, “Everything is alright.” And I realized that right then, right where I was, everything was alright. And I fell asleep. ✌️

    Liked by 2 people

  299. Other people’s anxieties are not your responsibility.

    Like

  300. Buy as much Apple stock as you can afford. Have more fun. Wear sexier clothes. Stop worrying so much!

    Like

  301. You can do hard things. The alcohol won’t make them go away. Your daughters are going to see you doing this.

    Like

  302. 306
    Annie Nonmus

    If he’s not good to you he’s not good for you, and you can’t love it into existence…people show you who they are; also, nothing is worth an ulcer; also, move away, just do it, and do it early on. Funny you asked this question today. I’ve been talking with my uber-anxious people-pleasing younger self a lot more than usual lately.

    Liked by 1 person

  303. “You can’t take care of everyone” or “You don’t have to protect and save everyone in your life”. Feeling the need to hear and believe it so strongly right now. Lost a longtime family/childhood friend to suicide on Sunday. I keep feeling like I should have made more of an effort to include him in my life so that I could have seen the warning signs and helped him. The reality and logic is, he and I were never close, he was my brother’s friend, and someone that all of us only had marginal contact with after we grew up. Logic isn’t working right now. I keep thinking about what I could have done if I had been closer to him.

    Like

  304. 308
    Julie the Boolie Goolie

    When I was a child I needed someone to tell me they’d keep me safe. Fast forward about 45 years and now that I’m working in a prison with staff assaults on the ris I need someone to tell me they’ll keep me safe more than ever before.

    Like

  305. Don’t settle. You deserve as much happiness as the ‘happy people’. Hold out for the good stuff because living with regret sucks rocks.

    Like

  306. In addition to “It will be okay”, I needed to hear “No one will ever hurt you like that again.” I said that to my inner child 26 years ago, and no one has ever hurt me again. My words to every parent out there… “Be good to your children and never, ever, hurt them deliberately.”

    Like

  307. “What you think of me is none of my business “. Terry Cole Whittaker

    Like

  308. Stop worrying!

    Like

  309. Stop worrying about what people will think and follow your instincts. You’ll be stronger and you’ll feel less lost. You know what you need to do.

    Liked by 1 person

  310. Be true to yourself. Don’t live in fear of how others see you.

    Like

  311. Younger self: get more involved stop being afraid and boys are stupid. Everyone else today: Stop being dicks and use common sense. Me: IDK. You have purpose. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2018/09/16/little-adventures-goat-yoga-i-am-soooo-trendy/

    Like


  312. What other people think about you is none of your business.”

    Liked by 1 person

  313. Be yourself. Always. Don’t try to be someone else because you are the only YOU out there and you were created for a reason. Be you.

    Liked by 1 person

  314. 318
    officerripley

    What I’d like to hear most now? “Hey, wanna go get coffee or lunch?”
    The thing I’d tell my younger self? “Do not, repeat do NOT strand yourself in a rural conservative area; once you hit old age, the loneliness will eat you alive.”

    Like

  315. Follow your heart. But also listen to your head.

    Like

  316. I have written on my mirror.
    “Trust people, even if you can’t be sure they’ll repay you.”
    I’d love to remind the world to take a breath and try to have faith in people, help people, without wanting something in return.
    I’m also a fan of Dory. When everything is hard and you aren’t sure where to go… Just keep swimming.

    Like

  317. You have a beautiful body!

    Like

  318. You are so much stronger than you realize.

    Like

  319. Be nicer. To everyone. Get the depression meds so you’ll be a better mom.

    Like

  320. “Dad was wrong. You can SO be anything you want!”

    Took me a long time to figure that one out.

    Liked by 1 person

  321. 326
    Andie Vecchione

    “You can do this.” I say it to myself A LOT, but I wish I’d known to start saying it to myself a LONG time ago.

    Like

  322. You are good enough

    Like

  323. Thank you for your post today, bloggess. Sometimes even us brave ones need to know we are not alone…

    Liked by 1 person

  324. Thank you for your post today, bloggess. Sometimes even us brave ones need to know we are not alone…

    Like

  325. And that apparently includes leaving duplicate posts…sigh.

    Like

  326. I didn’t realize until recently how much being a female musician dampened my performing career and my belief in myself, so: Keep believing in yourself, you have immense talent. Stop focusing on men who can only work with men.

    Like

  327. 332
    Martene Fay Bruder

    “You are not a failure.”

    Liked by 1 person

  328. Don’t always take the easy way. I still do this even when I know the end result will make me sad.

    Like

  329. They/she/he likes you, hired you, chose you as you are. You don’t have to one up yourself or keep proving you’re worthy or keep RE-impressing, They want you as yourself is already.

    Liked by 1 person

  330. 335
    Kdenny37@hotmail.com

    Be true to urself

    Like

  331. Your body is your and yours alone. You should get to make all the choices for it. Nobody else. Anybody who thinks or says otherwise is a selfish jerk and it’s ok to say no, be mad, and fight back if they try to force you to do anything you don’t want to do with it.

    Like

  332. Your body is yours and yours alone. Nobody else’s. You should be the only one who gets to make choices for it. Anyone who thinks or says otherwise is a selfish jerk and it’s ok to say no, be mad, and fight back if they try to make you do anything you don’t want to do with it.

    Like

  333. Sorry, first one looked like it died – site doesn’t work so well on Android.

    Like

  334. Please don’t should on yourself

    Liked by 2 people

  335. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

    Like

  336. 341
    cloudhands2015

    forgive yourself like you forgive other people.

    Liked by 1 person

  337. Be kind to everyone —-including yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  338. “I know it’s scary, but it’s true. If you don’t go to a doctor and fight them for this diagnosis you are going to ruin the beautiful boy you’ve just fallen in love with. Don’t be afraid.”

    Liked by 1 person

  339. You can do it.

    Like

  340. Having feelings and sometimes expressing those feelings doesn’t make you ‘too’ anything. It just means that those who judge you don’t understand their own feelings. Mostly they aren’t worth the effort.

    Like

  341. Thanks. I needed that.

    Like

  342. Get help, something is very wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  343. It’s not your fault. You don’t deserve it. You are enough. You are worthy.

    Liked by 1 person

  344. 349
    AJ-The Short One

    My daughter, not yet 40, got a devastating cancer diagnosis today. She is stage 4. I wish saying it will be OK would make it so. I would tell everyone to live life all the way. Don’t waste a moment. Love and be loved. And get a mammogram early and often.

    Liked by 2 people

  345. “You’re a vampire.” would have worked in my teen years.

    Like

    Wolf of Words recently posted The Shield of Tau Pt. 2.

  346. “You’re good enough”. I also really needed someone to tell me I was loved.

    Like

  347. You do not HAVE to be okay. It’s okay to not be okay, to stumble and stay down for a little while. You do don’t have to always get back up immediately, you can rest

    Like

  348. I love you!

    Like

  349. Believe in yourself. Don’t doubt yourself because others doubt themselves.

    Like

  350. 355
    Just Another Sarah

    #1 – Don’t let being fat stop you.
    #2 – Nobody is paying as much attention to you as you think they are.
    #3 – Do what you want to do. Don’t let the fear of what other people might think about you prevent you from being the person you want to be.

    Like

  351. I get you.
    That’s what I need to hear.
    Also:
    I brought you this pie.

    Liked by 1 person

  352. You are lovable and okay the way you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  353. Normal is overrated.

    Like

  354. This is life. Things are good, even when they feel bad. You’re loved.

    Like

  355. Thank you! There’s a song that came out earlier this year called Be Alright and the chorus is just the line “Oh, gonna be alright” 4 times over. Whenever I listen to it, it brings me to tears because I just need to hear that so badly.

    Like

  356. It’s not your fault. everything will be alright

    Like

  357. You’re more than good enough. You’re worthy of love. You don’t screw everything up. It’s not your fault. You didn’t ruin your mother’s life because you were born. You can do many things right. Stop listening to her. You’re not a spoiled, rotten little bitch, who can’t do anything right. You are amazing. I love you unconditionally. You’re worth far more than you think you are. You will never be like her.

    Like

  358. ShanG : That is what my younger me so desperately needed to hesr, as well. I still struggle to escape the dark cloud of my mother’s resentment, cruelty, and the horrible dysfunction that she manifested in our relationship because that was the only pattern she had ever known with her mother and grandmother.

    Just by recognizing it as a cycle, just by stepping outside of it, we are already breaking it and ensurung thst we will treat others with love, patience, kindness, and respect. It’s a huge enough step to break that chain, and an even huger step to ask, “What now? “ Because now we have to learn, from scratch, to give ourselves the love and care that we give others.
    It’s a lifelong learning process, I think, snd some days are lots harder than others. But we will get there, and we will touch others’ lives with empathy and peace, not judgment and fear, and maybe we will unknowingly give someone rlse the strength to believe in themselves by doing so.

    I wish my 13 year old me could hug your 13 year old you and tell her that she deserves better, that she will survive, that she is striong and smart and wonderful. But I am telling you now, and telling you that your words and your courage helped remind me of what is true and real and good after a very difficult day today.

    Keep shining your light, and always know that you are a gift to this world .

    Liked by 1 person

  359. 364
    Kristine Williams

    It’s ok to be sad, some things are, It’s ok to be pissed off, somethings can do that to you, it’s ok to not always be “little Miss (f’ng) Sunshine” Stop breathe and think about what you are feeling. It is ok, and when it’s not, identifying rather than hiding it will help get through it.

    Like

  360. Believe in yourself!!

    Like

  361. Try harder.

    Like

  362. 367
    fairycakepixie

    For me, You aren’t alone in whatever you’re going through, however alone you feel.

    Like

  363. Its benign!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  364. Other people may not approve of what you do, but that does not mean they are automatically qualified to know. If a bunch of 8th graders think you aren’t pretty, they’re still only 8th graders.

    Ask for help until you get it, not just until someone says you aren’t “applying yourself”. If you are trying your hardest, the problem may just be that someone else isn’t teaching you in a way you can learn. Don’t let them telling you that you’ll “just have to try harder”.

    Don’t marry a guy just because he will marry you. Don’t marry because everyone else would be happy if you were married. And don’t think that just because you love someone enough, it will work out. It won’t.

    You have instincts for a reason. Listen to them, and do what they say – because no matter how scary that is, going against them is always more trouble. Don’t waste time on doing what you think you “should” do. Do what you know in your heart is right, because you are smart, you are loving, and while we all make mistakes, most of them happen when we follow orders we don’t agree with from someone else.

    Like

  365. 370
    Jenni Appleseed

    It’s ok to let people love you.

    Like

  366. 371
    Maranda Daniels

    Don’t depend upon others to define you. What they think has nothing to do with who you are. Love yourself.

    Like

  367. People actually like you. You’re not a fuck up. You don’t have to always take the hardest path. You’ll get to the top either way. Your body is beautiful. You deserve someone you thinks so. Depression is a disease just as real as any other, so give yourself a break, and don’t be ashamed.

    Like

  368. “You are doing a good job and I am proud of you” I live on praise. It is what drives me. I hate when someone implies that I am not doing my job (takes a nano second to get angry about that one). And please don’t act like I could have done a better job. I have already beat myself up in more ways than you can ever thing of so don’t waste your time.

    Liked by 1 person

  369. Be still.

    There is a verse from Psalm 46:10 in the Bible that says “Be still and know that I am God.” As a Christian, it’s important that I step back and remember that I believe in something greater than myself, and have faith.

    And just as a regular human regardless of religion, I have a tendency to get on the hamster wheel of life and run myself ragged. Regardless of the context, I need to learn to be still.

    Like

  370. Do it anyway. So many things in my life that the stillness of depression somehow talks me out of doing. Back then I didn’t realize it was the depression and so I believed the slippery rationalizations. But now I do. And I have to remind myself. Do it anyway. Big things and little things.

    Like

  371. Different is OK, that is not my circus or monkeys, and you be you. It is okay to walk away from toxic people and jobs!

    Liked by 1 person

  372. You are worth taking a chance on.

    Like

  373. Going to a therapist and taking meds does not mean you are weak or a failure. That is the strongest and bravest thing you will ever do.

    If you wouldn’t want this kind of relationship for your child, why is it good enough for you? Leave. You’ll be a much better mom for it.

    Also: Wear sunscreen.

    Liked by 1 person

  374. You know what’s best for yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and for God’s sake, don’t let the fear of hurting or disappointing someone else prevent you from following your instincts about what is right for YOU. No one else will EVER put your needs first especially if you don’t. Hang in there. You are strong, competent and the single best judge of your own interests. Don’t doubt yourself.

    Like

  375. Be you. That’s enough. Be who you are and not who you think you should be.

    God, I wish I had done that long ago.

    Liked by 1 person

    theladygnome recently posted Murder.

  376. 381
    Veronica Elp

    For me it would be; We outgrow people for a reason because we evolve and they stay stagnant so it’s okay to cut people loose or leave them behind. Those are people who don’t help you evolve because they are mental midgets and toxic. We don’t change to fit someones idea of what we should be. We evolve to better ourselves and no one else.

    Like

  377. Years from now you’ll look back and wonder why you stressed so much. Enjoy your life, just have fun with it. Everything is temporary, both good and bad, so live in the moment and smile once in a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  378. You are a living miracle. I know it’s a cliche but when you really stop to think it over, it’s true! I got this from a self guided meditation on you tube called “30 day weight loss challenge” by David Mcgraw. I’ve finished the 30 days and while I haven’t lost much weight (yet), the way it makes me feel is amazing! It seems to speak directly to the little monkey dancing frantically in the back of my head telling me I’m not good enough (and various other crap) and calms that sucker right down. For the first time in a long time I am taking an interest in what’s going on around me and not just struggling to make it through a day.
    And Vern, there is hope, always hang on to it with all your might. Please seek help, preferably not on you tube!

    Like

  379. You don’t need to be perfect to be loved, or to love yourself. Just be kind and helpful, accept and enjoy your body as it is instead of criticizing it, and know that you will become stronger with every passing year.

    Like

  380. Ditto ditto ditto to all replies and Jenny’s. Hugs…”Just keep swimming.” -Dory 😊💟🎶🔜🔆

    Like

  381. “Here’s some cake. It’s gluten free.” I just really love cake.

    And…

    “Nothing stays the same forever” This helps me remember to enjoy what’s going on now and reassures me that the crap stuff won’t last forever.

    Like

  382. Even if you can’t focus on just one or two things, keep focusing on something (or two things) over the long term. Even if all of your other interests are all over the place. You will then end up with a good skill, or completed work, or something useful.

    Like

    Jenny Bristol recently posted Marginalia No. 2.

  383. 388
    Heather Fagans

    I believe in you (also, for #metoo, I believe you).

    Like

  384. 389
    Melissa Saunders

    We’re all mad here

    Like

  385. 390
    Molly Bonovsky Anderson

    Other people’s happiness is not your responsibility. You don’t have to be everything to everybody. Don’t worry about what other people are thinking of you.

    Like

  386. You really are Amazing. Own it.

    Liked by 1 person

  387. You don’t have to put up with someone’s abuse just because every now and then they might tell you that they love you. Love is a feeling AND an action.

    Like

    romcomdojo recently posted You’re Too Soft for That Hard Reality, Taylor: Part One.

  388. You are lovable.

    Like

  389. I’m ok. I’m ok. I can get through this
    I am ok.

    Like

  390. You’re creating positive ripple effects that are changing the world – basically there are people out there you’ll never meet – and probably never know – but who need your light – who need YOU.

    Liked by 1 person

  391. I’m transgender, so the thing I have to tell myself is “I’m just as much of a woman as others are” and “sometimes i am pretty enough, so fuck off haters”

    Like

  392. 398
    Another Gen X Jennifer

    You are doing a good job.
    You are not lazy.
    You are not selfish.

    Liked by 1 person

  393. “You’ve survived the worst. You’ll get through this.”

    I almost died eight years ago. Every day since has been a gift.

    Like

  394. Everyone else feels like they’re faking it, too, at least sometimes. Most people feel that way as often as you do.

    It only SEEMS like everyone else has it together more than you.

    If you look below the surface, you’ll find that we’re almost all riddled with uncertainty and self-doubt. And that’s ok. That, and the fact that we keep going anyway, help make us beautifully human.

    Like

  395. Stand up for yourself. Don’t take shit from people when you don’t deserve it! Oh, and try harder to get laid.

    Like

    Corey Case recently posted Yorkie Rapper Sadie Case "The Rapper SC" Bustin' Another One Out.

  396. You can’t make everyone happy all the time, so stop trying. Especially if it’s at the cost of your own happiness.

    Like

  397. That I am someone’s treasure. It may not be my current sig other who sees that, but someone out there will see and value me like I want to be seen and valued.

    Like

  398. You matter. Who you are is enough.

    Like

  399. Not for nothing.

    You have left a positive impact on the world.

    Like

  400. You are not disappearing. Being a wife, mother and coworker is a part of you now, but it is not all that you are. Be kinder to yourself and you’ll be found again.

    Like

  401. You don’t have to be perfect. It’s OK to ask for, and need, help. You don’t have to carry the weight of everyone’s problems on your shoulders. You are important too. You don’t always have to put others before yourself. You deserve to be loved.

    Like

  402. You are NOT invisible, you DO matter to someone.

    Like

  403. Vern (comment 123), I left a post on your blog. I hope you see it. I see others have commented too, and I hope you see that too. We are pulling for you.

    Like

  404. “You are important to me”

    Like

  405. So What? Applies in so many situations… So what if someone doesn’t like you? So what if you look silly? So what if someone knows you are frustrated? So what if there are dirty dishes in your sink?

    Like

  406. Your self worth always exsists. Stop forgetting that truth.

    Like

  407. Someone besides your dogs care if you are breathing. Okay my dad does. After him I may have noone but I have to be okay with that and love myself enough.

    Like

  408. Trust your instincts, even if you don’t understand them. Intuition doesn’t lie.

    Liked by 1 person

  409. Your curly hair is beautiful!
    People actually pay money to look as beautiful as you!
    Trust me, leave it. Let it fly and when someone says it looks nice, just say Thank You. And then shut up, no explaining why it’s not.
    I love you.

    Like

  410. It’s okay not to do the expected thing. Just be confident about it and no one who matters will judge.

    Like

  411. 418
    Smuddle Buddy

    I have several. I use them as needed. In no particular order:

    “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” ~ Samuel Beckett

    “You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~ Unknown to me

    “Put your own oxygen mask on first.” ~ My BFF

    “You can do this. Be brave. They only win if we give up hope.” ~ My BFF

    “You are loved. You matter. You would be missed. There are strangers on the internet who care even though you have never met irl. You can do the thing you think you cannot do. You are not alone.” ~ An amalgamation of your words and those of #thebloggesstribe

    “Never make someone else a priority when they make you an option.” ~ Previous coworker

    “Some days you are the statue, some days you are the pigeon.” ~ Unknown to me

    “What day is today?” said Pooh “It’s the day we burn this motherfucker to the ground.” squeaked Piglet ” My favorite day.” said Pooh

    “Enlightenment is when you stop trying to be yourself and just BE yourself.” ~ My daughter Lula

    Like

  412. You are good enough, everything will be ok

    Liked by 1 person

  413. Do what YOU want to do, not what you think others want you to do!

    Like

  414. Those silent voices that only you hear that say you aren’t good enough, aren’t pretty enough, aren’t smart enough, aren’t enough…they’re lying.

    Like

  415. You’re doing the best you can.
    You are where you need to be.
    Be kinder to yourself.
    I understand what you’re feeling and your feelings are valid. (Really need to hear this from my family)
    I’m here for you.
    I love you.

    Like

  416. You have not fucked it all up. Don’t give up. You’re going to make it. Live. You are worth it.

    Like

  417. Today is not your forever.

    Like

  418. 425
    Donna C Waldron

    You cannot rescue your children from everything bad thing that might happen to them. Sometimes you will just need to LET GO!

    Like

  419. Yes.

    I needed to hear (and need to hear) yes from myself. That I can give myself permission; that I don’t have to wait for others’ approval.

    Liked by 1 person

  420. You are loved.
    You are a good friend and genuinely liked for who you are.
    You do enough. You are enough.

    I wish I could tell past me that. I wish someone would tell preset me that every day.

    Liked by 1 person

  421. Buy stock in Amazon!

    Like

  422. I love you

    Liked by 1 person

  423. “You are not alone. I am here for you. The pain will get better. You are gonna be okay. It’s okay to cry.” So many things I wish someone would say most everyday.

    Like

  424. The only thing better than “it’s going to be okay” is “it IS okay, right now”.

    Like

  425. I have no memory of being told “I love you” my whole childhood expect once by my father after my 1st suicide attempt.

    Like

  426. It will get better, because it has to.

    Like

  427. No. Don’t ask him to hold your beer. Nobody needs to watch whatever upfuckery you’re about to attempt. Sit down and shut up. THE it’ll be okay.

    Like

  428. If you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages. Yes, my favorite words of encouragement come from an 80s song.

    Like

  429. Say no. Say it often. It’s ok. You deserve to say no to whatever you want.

    Liked by 1 person

  430. Everything Stuart Smalley would say…You are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.

    Like

  431. “Despite how it feels, the universe isn’t killing the people and things you love just because you touched them”

    “Own being weird, it will make you lonely but also rare and precious”

    Like

  432. I’ve seen that question asked many times in memes on Facebook. “What would you tell your younger self?” is one form of it. My answer is always: Be braver. In every sense of the word. With everyone. As child born disabled, to a loving caring mother who would do anything for me, and an abusive father who never wanted a disabled son….be braver. As a guy who later married someone who shared certain traits with aforementioned father….be braver. As a man who’s had 21 surgeries, countless trips to the ER, complications from surgeries, a divorce that remains the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through, medically or non-medically related….be braver.
    And even today, I wish I were braver.

    Liked by 1 person

  433. Say how you feel right now. If you think it is hard to say to their face today, try saying it to a lifeless body tomorrow.

    Like

  434. Despite your failings, you are NOT worthless.
    Other people know that; listen to them

    Like

  435. It gets better.

    Liked by 1 person

  436. What I need to hear now at 54 and really my whole life is just that-it’s going to be ok! But really a more elaborate version is what I needed to then and crave to hear now! I love u, I will always take care of you, protect you in any way I can, you never have to worry about anything, I’ll always love u and be here for you! You can always come to me for anything! I’ve never had the unconditional love of a parent, grandparent, sibling etc. I would love to know how that must feel!

    Like

  437. Be kind to yourself. Believe in yourself. I still lack confidence and I hate it.

    Like

  438. “If you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages.” Music speaks to me, when no one else will

    Like

  439. “Whatever you do / don’t do based on ‘what other people will think’ is a complete waste of your time.” (What my younger self needed to hear.)
    “YOU JUST WON LOTTO.” (What my bank account needs to hear.)

    Liked by 1 person

    Marcheline recently posted In theatres now: UNCLUTTERED! Starring: Marcheline's desk.

  440. You can only be bullied if you let yourself be bullied

    Like

    John Robinson recently posted Blinded, Stoned and Excommunicated by Science.

  441. I love you and I see you

    Like

  442. No matter what anyone said, it was not your fault. It was not your fault.

    Liked by 1 person

    judyt54 recently posted acrobat squirrel.

  443. You are a good mother, even though your son was passed your mental illness. It doesn’t make you a bad mother.

    Like

  444. Just because you passed your mental illness to your son, you’re not a bad mother.

    Like

  445. Don’t fear rejection so much that you are paralyzed into not trying at all.

    Like

  446. You are not fat. You are beautiful just the way you are. Don’t let what they say get to you. You are so beautiful and strong and I love you.

    Like

  447. Almost everyone feels like a fraud at some point. The real secret is to fake it until you make it…

    Liked by 2 people

  448. Nothing lasts forever, bad or good. So endure the bad well, relish the good, and appreciate both. Everything comes – and goes – in order to teach you something.

    Like

  449. 456
    Sarah McFarland

    You are enough and so, so worth it, just as you are, feel it in your bones and believe it in your soul. You are beautiful and funny and kind and giving and honest. Truly. Don’t let those insecure people make you believe anything less. Love your mind and your body, they’re all you’ve got. Do not settle. Do. Not. Settle. You don’t have to be afraid that someone won’t love you as you are. Even though you haven’t met any of the boys that will love you that way. Love yourself that way as well, even if it feels impossible at times. Get some therapy, as soon as possible, no matter how scary it might seem it will help you with all of the above.

    Like

  450. Be yourself. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
    Pretend you’re good at it.
    Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.
    And take care of yourself! Your mind AND YOUR TEETH!

    Like

  451. I heard Sharon Salzberg say last year “You are more than just the worst thing you’ve ever done.” I wish I had heard that, and believed it, over 30 years ago. I think it could have saved me a lot of guilt and pain.

    Like

  452. You can do anything and go anywhere. You deserve it !!!

    Like

  453. Things I actually typed repeatedly today, in different fancy fonts, while listening to podcast:
    You are loved and cared for, and you are worthy of being loved and cared for
    You are a self-respecting woman
    You are a good friend and a good person
    Better things are coming

    Like

  454. 461
    Margo Thorpe

    I heard this when I was a young’un in church,
    it is written on the inside of my bible even today, MANY years later:

    “Once in Persia reigned a king,
    who, upon his signet ring,
    sat a maxim true and wise,
    which, if held before his eyes;
    Gave him counsel at a glance,
    fit for every change and chance;
    simple words and these were they
    “Even this shall pass away.””

    OR, “I am spirit I am free
    I’m as God created me” (pretty sure that;s paraphrased badly from A Course in Miracles.

    Another of my faves: “Cat shit
    rat shit
    had enough of that shit….”

    OR, From the Desiderata;
    “I am a child of God,
    I have a right to be here. ”

    I’m as messed up as you, Jenny, but I’m way much older than you so I’ve had time to gather these little nugets..

    be well, child

    Like

  455. 462
    Margo Thorpe

    I laid out all these fabulous little tidbits, then went and spelled, “nugget” . Wrong.
    Unless maybe you thought I meant Ted Nugent??

    Like

  456. Everyone else’s family is crazy, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  457. “Don’t forget to point your toes! (It’s a survival fantasy: I fall out of a broken airplane, and swoosh through the air ala James Bond toward a body of water, and go in toes first like a Navy Seal and I survive!)

    Like

  458. It seems hard now, but one day, your success will be your sweetest revenge.

    Like

  459. Thanks for this. I’m in a particularly tough spot right now and wanting to give up. Encouraging words are what I needed to hear tonight.

    Like

  460. It’s ok if everything isn’t perfect, it isn’t meant to be. And my past does NOT define me.

    Liked by 1 person

  461. Always have your own money.

    Liked by 2 people

  462. Find what makes you happy, screw everything else

    Liked by 1 person

  463. You don’t have to spend your life trying to figure out how to fix the thing you pretend to be your fault because you’re scared to let go, that others will feel hurt, that it’s going to hurt too much.

    Like

  464. “I want you”. My 7 year old self needed that from my mother. Not “it’s expected to be with me” and “you can’t live with your aunt forever” (even though my aunt cried wanting to keep me). To hear “I want you” from my mother would have meant the world to me. Mostly I’m an okay, well adjusted(ish) adult with wonderful children and grandchildren but that still hurts, 60 years later. And my aunt and mom are still around. My aunt still wants me and loves me and shares things with me. My mother still needs me to do things for her.

    Liked by 1 person

  465. I think the worst thing for me is my trust issues. I’d tell my young self not to build those walls around myself so high and strong. It makes it so hard to let anyone close. I’m constantly on guard waiting for someone to hurt me verbally.

    Like

  466. Hang out with and hug Dad more. Also clean as you go.

    Liked by 2 people

  467. I am NOT an impostor.

    Like

  468. I read the Desiderata every day, sometimes multiple times a day when things are rough. I wish I had discovered at a younger age, or would have helped me through a lot in my teens.

    Desiderata
    GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

    Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

    Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

    Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

    Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

    Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

    Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

    Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

    Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

    And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

    By Max Ehrmann © 1927

    Like

  469. Oh how I so needed those words at this exact moment. Thanks, Jenny!

    Like

  470. Don’t believe everything you think. The first thing you think is what you were taught and the second is what you really believe.

    You are the only person you will never lose or leave. Makes me understand that I can’t live my life for anyone else.

    You don’t have to give 100% of yourself 100% of the time. Along the same line, Perfectionists don’t do a lot cause they won’t do anything they don’t excel at. When I read that I thought of how boring that would be!

    Dont let anyone should on you.

    Like

  471. If reincarnation is real, in my next life I will choose a family that loves me.

    To my younger self: You’ll be ok even without that love. You are incredibly strong.

    Liked by 1 person

  472. 479
    TheFunkNinja

    “They love you more than you could ever realize.”

    Liked by 1 person

  473. That everything is going to be ok. You can make it through whatever life throws at you.

    Like

  474. 481
    MirthMistress

    You deserve respect. If he loved you, he wouldn’t treat you that way.

    Like

  475. 482
    Bonnie Craig

    You’re doing the best you can. Even when you think you aren’t, you are. Just keep going.

    Like

  476. It’s strange to be normal. It’s normal to be strange.

    Like

  477. Do not quit college because you’re homesick. You can become what you want to be when you grow up.

    Liked by 1 person

  478. I think you can tell from the comments how much this question resonates. As soon as I read it I thought: ‘It’s all going to be OK’ and then read down and … well, there we are. I think, really, at the end of the day that’s what we all want to hear and know and believe. I recently discovered Julian of Norwich (who despite being called Julian was a woman, apparently it was common name for both genders in those days) – who is the first known woman writer in the English canon: “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well”. Good enough for me, even if it’s hard to trust in sometimes.

    Like

  479. silly girl, don’t be so dramatic 😉

    Like

  480. If you think there is something wrong with your thinking/behavior/choices, don’t delay in asking for help. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 58. And it changed my life.

    Like

  481. If I could talk to my younger self, I’d change SO many things! (But I suppose we all would.) Don’t put yourself last. Don’t kill yourself doing eveyone’s chores & don’t skip medical care to balance the family budget. Travel as much as possible; experience as much as possible instead of buying souvenirs for everyone but you! Lastly, make sure what you think you want is true & not what your parents want. You can be an optometrist or a physician’s assistant instead of a scientist or doctor if that makes you happy. And get a teaching certificate as backup!😊 (Oh, VIP – you have a language disorder so get the kids checked for speech delay stat!)

    Like

  482. What is the thing you need to hear most? I am good enough

    The thing you wish you could have gone back to your younger self to say? Your parents love you the best they can. It’s okay to love yourself and others more than you are being shown.

    The thing you wish you could say to everyone else? I am worthy of my own love and affection. I do not only have to give it away to others….

    Like

  483. ” You have Peanut Butter on your shirt”
    https://insomniagirl.net/

    Like

  484. You’re not a failure just because you’re struggling right now.

    Like

  485. You are enough. Not too much or too little. You are enough.

    Like

  486. From everyone in M’s family:
    “I / we were really mean to you, and that was shitty of us. Sorry.”

    Like

  487. It’s OK to be yourself. Who gives a f*** what everyone else thinks.

    Like

  488. 495
    Michele Karch-Ackerman

    If I could tell my younger self one thing it would be this: It is absolutely worth it to spend your life becoming and being an artist. Keep going. I also might surprise myself by sharing this saying ‘What fresh hell is this?’ as it would be a way for me to cope with the bad things…to let myself know that bad things will happen all the time, but that is normal. And happiness isn’t meant to be happening ALL THE TIME. If it happens all the time it isn’t as beautiful or full of light. No mud no lotus…took a while to learn that. And at the moment, although there has been quite a bit of mud lately, I do feel like I am blooming…Thanks for asking the question!

    Like

  489. There is nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you. I will never turn my back on you, never turn away from you.

    Like

  490. […] Source: The things we need to hear | The Bloggess […]

    Like

  491. Try it.

    I always wanted to do different things, but was afraid. But really, what did I have to lose but a little time (meh!), or a bit of money (oh well!), or a bit of self-assurance, which would be regained merely by the very act of trying? I should have tried. So, when I had kids, I always said that they should go for it, try it, why not?, what’s the worst that can happen? And I have two kids who aren’t afraid to travel, have tried and failed at various endeavors, and tried and succeeded at many, many more. They are hard working and can stand up for themselves. Just recently, one was going to move out of state. “Why not?” she said, “I’m not married, it looks like an interesting place to live, and the job offer is great!” The other left to live abroad some years ago with 50 pounds of personal possessions and has never looked back (although she visits often enough). Once, one was hesitant to do something because then she’d be away from family, and her sister was already away. I said, “I raised you two to try, to do, to enjoy, to explore, to learn. So what if your sister is already away? I will miss you, but I’m not going to spend your whole life telling you to go for it, and then tell you NO when you want to do it!”

    Liked by 1 person

  492. 499
    Sarah Mayfield

    You are never alone in your darkness. Whether it’s a small cave or a huge canyon, keep walking and you’ll find the light, and you’ll see there was always someone else in there with you.
    Our experiences are all unique, but they are always shared.

    Liked by 1 person

  493. Your kid is not a bad kid and you are doing a good job.

    Like

  494. DONT GIVE UP!! Ever. You CAN do this. I BELIEVE IN YOU. That’s what I need to hear.

    Like

  495. Whenever things got hard for me,my Mom would say “This too will pass”. It put things in perspective – both the bad and the good.

    Like

  496. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

    Neither do you.

    And — don’t wait until you’re a better person to love and accept yourself. It works the other way around.

    Like

  497. People who make you cry are not deserving of your heart. Suffering for your love is not the answer. You are worth more than this. Most importantly, you are enough on your own. You don’t need to change or be perfect to deserve to be treated better. And, if you fear that no one will come along to love you the way you are, you are still enough. You should be proud of who you are. Anyone who cannot get on board with that doesn’t really love you, no matter what they say.

    Liked by 1 person

  498. Your now is not your forever. Basically it’s ‘this too shall pass’ but said much more eloquently in Turtles All the Way Down by the brilliant John Green.

    Like

  499. Mine is “Never, never, never, never give up.” I think Churchill said it.

    Like

  500. I wish I could tell my younger self “You are good enough. Actually you are better than good enough and people are going to love you for who you are so be yourself.” The trick would be, would my younger self listen and believe what I say since I never seem to be able to believe anything good that people say to me, even the people who love me. So sad…

    Like

  501. I’ve been hearing my boyfriend of 2 years tell me, I’m So Proud of You. I don’t think I ever heard that before, and I’m almost 40. He also actually believes I AM enough, and I’m beginning to think so too. It’s changing my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  502. What makes you think that everyone is looking at you? They think everyone is looking at them, including you!

    Liked by 1 person

  503. Those avoidance techniques that helped you survive your childhood? They can only take you so far. At some point, you have to learn how to feel your feelings and live in the now.

    Also, you’re going to get sick and broken at a much earlier age than you expected. Do even more of the things you want to do while you still can.

    Like

  504. Take chances! It okay to try something and fail!

    Like

  505. It does not matter what “they” are doing (or not doing). Just worry about you.

    Like

  506. You are doing the best you can do. Be proud

    Like

  507. People do like you. You are funny and kind.

    Wait…I still need to say that 😢

    Like

  508. It’s no else’s job to rescue you. Try rescuing yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  509. My younger self: You are wanted. Not knowing that as a child is devastating.
    My current self: You’re as strong as people believe you are, if only you would believe it too.

    Like

  510. You deserve kindness and respect. Always.

    No matter what the signs around you suggest, you are perfectly normal as you.

    Your point of view matters. What you have to say matters.

    Like

  511. Me, 2018: Reads this blog. Hrm… Crawls into attic and pulls out that dusty time machine not used since… well, I messed up the timeline that one time. THAT took a long time to straighten out… Pushes the DO NOT PUSH button…
    poof
    Me, 1978: “Psst! Hey kid! Hey, you …. Michael… come here….”
    Also Me: “Who are you?”
    Me: Well, you kinda know me… sort of… but you won’t see me again for 40 years; not like this, anyway. But that’s not important right now. I’m here because I need to tell you something…
    Also Me: “FORTY YEARS? But that’s FOREVER! But you look like a friend.”
    Me: “Well, it is forever, to you. But it’s not forever to me. Time is weird that way. Don’t try to understand it, because none of us do. That’s just how it is. And yes, I’m the best friend you’ll ever have, even if you don’t know it.”
    Also Me: Wrinkles forehead in bewilderment and suspicion “How can you be my best friend if I never see you again for forever?”
    Me: “Oh good grief! I really HAVE always been like this. … Never mind, kid, I came here because I need to tell you a secret.”
    Also Me: “A secret?” Perks up in excitement.
    Me: “Yes, a secret. … You know how you sometimes feel sad for no reason? That you just cry, and the other kids think you’re weird, and don’t want to play with you?”
    Also Me: Embarrassed…. “Yes…”
    Me: “It’s feels bad. It’s bad for you, isn’t it?”
    Also Me: “Yes. But I don’t know why!”
    Me: “Well, I don’t know why either. But I’m here to tell you something.”
    Also Me: “What?”
    Me: “It is bad. It’s bad for you, but not because you’ve done anything wrong. It’s not fair, and it’s bad. You could die. Several times it might happen. And you know what? It’s not going to get better.”
    Also Me: “What? You mean nobody is ever going to like me, ever?”
    Me: “Yes… unless you do something about it. But you have to start now.”
    Also Me: “I’m always going to be sad, for like forever?”
    Me: “Yes… unless you listen to me. You have to change it, and you have to start now. And you have to never stop changing it. And when you feel sad for no reason, you have to tell someone, like Mom or Dad. And if they don’t listen to you, tell someone else, until someone does listen to you. And when you feel really, really sad, you need to tell them you need a doctor. And if they ask why, and you don’t know why, tell them that. Say ‘I don’t know why. That’s why I need a doctor.’ Just… remember this, okay? It will be the most important thing you ever hear in your whole life.”
    Mrs. Muzingo: “Hello? Who are you?”
    Me: “I… uh.. I was just looking for my lost puppy. I was wondering if this kid had seen my lost puppy and if he would help me find it.”
    Also Me: “But…”
    Mrs. Muzingo: “People aren’t supposed to be in the kindergarten area unless they’ve checked in at the office.”
    Me: “Hey, I’d better get going…” Starts running off… “Oh, by the way, it’s okay to like boys. You’ll understand in the 4th grade.”
    Mrs. Muzingo: blowing whistle loudly. “Hey! Stop!”
    Also Me: “?????”
    Me: Pushes the DO NOT PUSH BUTTON.
    poof
    Me, 2018: “If I’m still alive tomorrow, then I know I remembered. But I still feel so lonely…”

    Like

  512. Don’t worry about what other people are thinking about you or what they’re doing differently. You only have to answer to God, not them.

    Like

  513. Your mother was proud of you.

    Like

  514. 522
    mountainshadows299

    You are naturally highly empathetic and sensitive to the humanity of the other people around you. Don’t give the people who would try to convince you to be otherwise a second thought. They are not worthy of you, not the other way around. Remember that though people will try to call you a snowflake and castigate you for being a “take no BS from anyone” angry type of person, it’s OK to be angry at those who aid and abet a system that actively denies and crushes the humanity of others (or your humanity). Continue ignoring their BS and find your tribe instead.

    Secondarily- Because you were so set on a path at a young age, you will find yourself rudderless as an older person. Perhaps it was inevitable, but feeling rudderless is no excuse to lose all motivation.

    Like

  515. I have been feeling so depressed and sad the past 2 weeks. I had a bad reaction to the increase of some of my depression/anxiety medication. So my Dr has taken me off the medication and increased another, but it has not helped me feel better. Tomorrow I am going to see my doctor regarding genetic testing to help the Dr to see what the best medication to put me own for the best effect on my response to the meds. Has anyone else done this?

    It has been so discouraging and I have been feeling like I am slipping in the dark place of my depression. I want to keep hope that things will get better, but I am losing hope. It was nice to see what other people would to say to themselves and others to make them not feel alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  516. You will survive this. You will be happy again. Many times you will think otherwise, and it will hurt so much you will think you’re dying. You’re stronger than you realize.

    Liked by 1 person

  517. i am proud of you

    Liked by 1 person

  518. It’s okay to ask for what you need — even if it’s not what they expect.

    Liked by 1 person

  519. You are loved.

    Liked by 1 person

  520. I’m with you: It’s going to be okay.
    or
    It won’t always be like this.

    Liked by 1 person

  521. 529
    Trina Brooks

    “Grow a backbone and stand up for yourself”

    Liked by 1 person

  522. “It doesn’t matter if they don’t like you. Just do your best and love yourself.”

    I really needed to read these today. Life has been shit ever since my sister’s suicide.

    Liked by 1 person

  523. Your brain wiring does not make you a failure. You are not a waste of air. You are worthy of being loved.

    Liked by 1 person

  524. You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  525. To my teenage self: Don’t be so desperate for affection that you demean yourself in relationships with men. Aim high. Get hearing aids NOW, you have no idea how much you are missing.

    Liked by 1 person

  526. Especially to the thirteen year old, who thought while looking at herself in the mirror one morning,”Wow, it’s a good thing I developed a good personality because I am really ugly, so at least people will like me for my laugh.” Oh honey. You are thirteen. And you are going to be just fine. Raging hormones are such a bummer, but truly, it will get better.

    Liked by 1 person

  527. 535
    Sholeen Nett

    Here are the things I heard: “We’re proud of you” “We love you” and truly I can never get enough so I’ll just keep picking those two phrases and making sure I say it to my two amazing humans. A lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  528. Thats my mantra now. When I first started following you i was hit with some mental health issues. The when I got better I forgot to follow you. Well I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ocd and 3 years ago at 42, I was diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease. So now I’m going to follow you again. I hope that’s ok. I too need to be told I’ll be ok, even when I know it won’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  529. happiness is letting go of what your life is supposed to look like and celebrate it for everything that it is. thank you mandy hale for this quote that gets me through the dark times.

    Liked by 1 person

  530. Pain is inevitable and survivable.

    Liked by 1 person

  531. My answer for all three is the same as well:

    I care about you.

    Liked by 1 person

  532. I wish I could tell my younger self that “Girl, you are so damn lucky, even if you don’t see it. But you don’t have to believe me now, because at the end you will see, you will be furiously happy. And it will be just the beginning.”

    Liked by 1 person

  533. You are loved,you are NOT a waste of space. You are not dumb,ugly or stupid. I’m proud of you. You have a great heart. Oh ,and stay away from the brown eyed hottie. He wasn’t lying when he said he’s full of shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  534. 542
    North Gorham Public Library

    Can we make this into a text-a-day affirmation calendar thingy?

    Like

  535. 543
    Erin Rachelle Schwartz

    I wish someone had told me that I was being heard and listened to or that I was not alone.

    Like

  536. Young me: You deserve respect. Respect of your body and of your feelings. Be rude and say “NO” to anyone who wants to use you. You deserve better.

    Like

  537. Always report date rape. It doesn’t matter that people don’t believe you. Report it because you and the other person knows what happened and they shouldn’t be able to get away with it because of the statue of limitations.

    Like

  538. Find a way or make one. There is always a secondary option even when things seem like they cannot get any worse… if you cannot readily see a different approach, make one. Make an approach that is realistic and capable of bettering the situation specific to you.

    Like

  539. For the person who says “your weight is not your worth”–reframe that in the context of “if you were worth your weight in gold…” Today, gold is worth about $17,568/lb. You do the math. 🙂 For me, it’s the reminder that I may feel like a fuck-up most of the time, but it’s not actually true. I’m at my 30th anniversary in my career, I own my own home, and I have a truly wonderful and amazing circle of friends. I can’t possibly be doing everything wrong.

    Like

  540. ❤️

    Like

  541. From “A night in lonesome October”. I know it feels like the end of the world; but it really isn’t.
    Also….”somewhere, someone wishes they had the life you have”

    Like

  542. I care about you.

    Like

  543. It gets better! And yes, you do have anxiety. Start taking Trileptal ASAP.

    Like

  544. To myself: “Keep drawing”. And, “yes, she is worth it”.
    To others: “Be as kind as possible to everyone, including yourself”

    Like

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