My mom just called me and was like, “I JUST SAW YOU ON TV!” and I considered that she’d lost her mind or accidentally called me instead of my sister but she insisted that she’d just seen me on a commercial on the National Geographic channel and then she was like, “Well, heard you, I guess. I didn’t see you. But I saw your dead mouse friend” and then I was pretty sure that she just missed me and was hallucinating but she was totally right because I WAS JUST ON TV.
Well, my voice was. And my taxidermied mouse.
It’s a weird day.
UPDATED: So last night my commercial was on during Dancing With the Stars and The Voice so technically that means that I was on The Voice and Dancing With the Stars and since I wasn’t cut from either one I think that means I won. WHAT A WEEK.
Also, I’ve had a lot people mention that they couldn’t tell what the book was. It was my first book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. Specifically it was the chapter about becoming goth and getting my arm stuck in a cow’s vagina in high school. The full quote from the commercial:
…pretty much everyone hates high school. It’s a measure of your humanity, I suspect. If you enjoyed high school, you were probably a psychopath or a cheerleader. Or possibly both. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive, you know. I’ve tried to block out the memory of my high school years, but no matter how hard you try, it’s always with you, like an unwanted hitchhiker. Or herpes. I assume…
Now if you’ll excuse me, the cat just vomited and I have to clean it up. Ah, the glamorous life of fame.