I was just listening to a podcast about how sea sponges use the pores all over their body to “bring in food and release wastes” and I’m pretty sure that’s a scientific way of saying the holes in sponges are all just mouths and buttholes so does that mean that when I’m using a sponge in the shower I’m cleaning my body with mouths and buttholes? Someone get me a marine biologist. And a loofah. And maybe some bleach.
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77 thoughts on “I feel dirty.”
Read comments below or add one.
Now there’s an image I need to get out of my head. Maybe time to use a flannel rather than a sponge.
mouths and buttholes….exciting and disgusting gerrrrrrrrp
Ah hahaha snort
Loofah is a squash skeleton. So you’ll be safe with that.
Ummm now what am I supposed to clean myself with?
This is something I never thought about before, but NOW I WILL SO THANKS FOR NOTHING, JENNY! (Technically – thanks for mouths and buttholes. But I’d prefer nothing.)
You’re actually using its skeleton, if it makes you feel any better. Also… if that bothers you, you really don’t want a loofah.
Kitchen sponges are way dirtier than toilet seats, too. Just sayin.
EEWWWWww….I’ll just use a cotton washcloth thank you. Mouths and buttholes, lol.
Loofah/Luffa scrubbing sponges are made from giant Egyptian cucumbers.
Yikes! Maybe it helps your pore friends? I agree- you can’t go wrong with a squash skeleton – squash (squashes?) don’t have buttholes and they have a beautiful skeleton, like some people. (I might be re-reading Furiously Happy this week)
But Loofahs are a plant, a type of gourd actually. So less gross, loofah away!
I think I’d rather use a wash cloth !!
One sponge’s mouth is another sponge’s butthole…
It could be worse — you could be a barnacle and eat with your feet. 😉
and this is why sometimes ignorance really IS best shudder
Bring on the body brushes!
If it’s mouth-buttholes you want then take a look at this!
TOO funny and TOO much information!!!
Well, I just stepped out of the shower, where I’m pleased to note there are no sponges. Thank you for brightening my day, you spongy ray of sunshine.
Most animals are just tubes with an incoming and outgoing. Some get kind of fancy on the outside, what with limbs and tails and fur and scales. I’ve heard they are interesting on the inside, too, but I rarely look at the inside.
Aren’t loofahs from gourds?
This might explain Sponge Bob Squarepants.
That’s only true for sea sponges. Many loofah sponges are grown on land and you are just washing with a dead vegetable.
In case anyone hasn’t seen this yet, it’s VERY educational
Oh my my!
As a marine biologist who studies sponges, I can confirm what you say. The smaller holes are mouths and the larger holes are indeed buttholes.
Bring on Norwex microfiber body cloths with silver in them (antibacterial). only need water. no mouths or buttholes included, except yer own!
Stick with cotton soap socks. I can recommend a good source with legit handmade natural soap.
daisyj post #8 – thanks for the great laugh! All I could think when I read your post was “Scrubbing Buttholes” would be a great name for a band.
This is why I just go ahead and sit on public toilets seats. You can’t really win for losing in this life.
ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE:
Got my calendar today!! I absolutely love it and not just because of the artwork. The pages are sturdy and the day squares large enough to actually write stuff!!
Thanks for telling me about these- next year EVERYONE GETS ONE FOR CHRISTMAS!!!
MERRY, HAPPY, ETC!
So you are saying they are basically babies.
That’s why I just pretend I’m a cat and lick myself clean…
Just use a synthetic sponge you’re fine ^^
Your pores excrete waste (I guess sweat is a kind of waste) and they’re not buttholes.
Oh yes. Sponges are full of eeeevil. Don’t trust them with your secrets, either.
I have not caught up to your thoughts on sponges but am perpetually stuck on Rolly (?) Trying to find your nose, getting distracted, forgetting what shes been taught. Why is it not viral?
Bawhahaha your click bates win the internet and never disappoint. However a loofa is a plant so you’re fine. I watched a video on loofa farming and was amazed. I always thought they came from the ocean and never used them because using a Dead Sea creature creeped me out 😂😂😂😂
Jenny, did you ever do the TMS therapy? I saw you posted questions about it but I didn’t see anything written by you about ever doing it and the results… I just started following you so I’m sorry if this is a repeat question. Sometimes, when I feel what other people think is feeling ok, I feel like the ok me misses the depressed me-like I’m in mourning. Sometimes my ok is just feeling nothing as opposed to feeling extremely sad and I actually feel worse. I am considering TMS and was wondering what you thought of it.
Swap it for a loofah–they grow on trees and have no assholes as far as I know.
Based on that, I feel like sea sponges and hotdogs could have some really fucked up conversations about their bits and pieces.
If you use a loofah sponge you will eliminate scrubbing your butthole with buttholes. Loofahs are made by vegetable. Lol. Good luck!!!
grabs all the sponges in the house and throws them in the trash
Did you know loofahs are grown on trees?
And THAT’S why I use a plastic spongey thing. Not an actual sponge. Because eew gross. Who wants to rub mouths and buttholes all over them? (IF you actually like being rubbed all over with mouths and buttholes..hey. You do you, boo.)
My partner is a marine biologist so naturally I texted him and said JENNY NEEDS YOU… here is his answer “It’s one way flow. The tiny holes on the side of the sponge are where the water flows in. The larger holes are where the water flowed out. The waste is created at the cellular level. It doesn’t accumulate like animals with a digestive tract. Now, if she were scrubbing with a sea anemone that would be a mouth and butthole. They have a blind digestive tract and they do in fact eat and poop out the same hole. “ YOU’RE WELCOME 😉
Yay for synthetics!! 😳
Nature is equal parts fascinating and gross. lol!
Yes, but clean mouths and buttholes.
Many creatures seem to have their mouths and buttholes preforming double duty… like sea cucumbers, sponges, corral and Trump!
Loofahs are plants. Use loofahs. 😀
Sounds like Scrubbing Bubbles, only, it’s not.
Respectfully, it’s worse. It sounds to me as if they are SIMULTANEOUSLY doing both jobs. So they are, like, Buttmouths. We have both been scrubbing ourselves with BUTTMOUTHS. Pass the bleach.
Too funny! I’m glad I don’t use a sponge – I’m a loofah girl. However, one time my husband took our kids out for play in a local stream only to find out later that particular stream was draining the local sewage pond. THEY felt dirty and so did I and I wasn’t even there. Lots of soap and very warm water over 3 baths before there was any cuddling. 😒
Jenny. Don’t know how to contact you except through comments so here goes. Zazzle has cancelled my order of 2 of your 2019 calendars. I only know this because my CC was credited back the $$ I paid. After contacting them, they are telling me that there is a Rudolph design that they don’t have licensed so they will not produce the calendar. Have you heard about this and if so, what can be done ? (I was planning on those for gifts for some dear friends and wanted to support your work with project night night as well). Feel free to email me at e-dress below.
There are many scientific ways to say gross things.
This made me think of The Four Wishes of St. Martin. Go read it.
Does that mean people wash dishes with mouths and buttholes???
if you truly want to feel dirty and fascinated read, “Sex in the Sea: Our Intimate Connection with Kinky Crustaceans, Sex-Changing Fish, Romantic Lobsters and Other Salty Erotica of the Deep.” Its basically all about how sea creatures get it on. You’ll never look at the ocean the same. Highly recommend it.
I make art with those mouths and buttholes. I appreciate their holes and use them strategically. Great I’m a sick pervert.
it is only weird if you make it weird.
Hi Jenny, I’m up with my usual insomnia and saw your post about Hailey and was suddenly seized with great concern for you. Maybe because I’ve been reading about Pete Davidson and veterans committing suicide, along with LASIK patients (that last sounds like a punchline but I promise it isn’t). I’ve had my own struggles lately because of chronic depression and chronic pain. Sometimes it’s just hard to keep going. But then I look at my kids and grandkids and I know that Life may suck sometimes but that they don’t. They deserve to know their lives are more important than my pain. They deserve for me to be brave. So when I saw Hailey and was suddenly stricken with fear for you, maybe that was just me projecting my feelings and battles onto you. Or maybe this collective consciousness of people who come to your pages, your sites, gives us all a kind of sixth sense about each other. Maybe there are a lot of people on here contemplating suicide. I don’t know, but I just feel compelled to say to you, and to me, and to everyone, that we must be brave. For our children’s sakes, for our grandchildren, for our husbands and wives and families and friends. We are unknown soldiers fighting a war within our own minds. Depression and pain are the enemies. We can’t let them win. Likely all of us would probably say we would take a bullet to protect our family, our friends. But will we refuse to take a bullet, a bottle of pills, a knife, to protect them? I’ve been scared this week. Scared of my thoughts, scared every day that this will be the day when I finally give in. Depression lies. I learned a lot about that right here on your site. And I learned about being brave by watching you, Jenny. So please keep being brave. Let’s all keep being brave. Let’s lift each other up and believe that life can be filled with hope and love and glorious, wonderful things. Let us be courageous, not for ourselves, but for the ones we love. ❤️ God bless you, Jenny. And thank you. ❤️
And THAT’S why I use good clean washcloths and liquid soap (so the soap doesn’t have to touch the cloth or my dirty body). Am now Googling for brain bleach after reading this post; ordinary bleach works for the eyes…
I knew there was a reason I was learning to knit & crochet. Cotton washcloths here I come.
and this is why I never loof!!!
Yeah. Time to switch to those synthetic scrubby-things that look like a nylon mesh pom-pom. They make a freaking ton of lather and definitely have no body parts of their own.
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Scrubbing yourself with mouths and buttholes…
Sounds like a line from a country song.
Don’t forget about the parts in between the mouths and buttholes. Would they be considered ‘taints? So yeah, you are washing with mouths, buttholes, AND ‘taints!
Never fear. By the time a natural sea sponge gets to you, all the cellular material is gone, and you’ve only got nice, clean collagen protein fibers left. Sponge away! Just remember to rinse them out to keep them clean. If you want to know how cool sponges are, google up glass sponges. Their “skeletons” are made of silica and are beautiful.
😖 oh damn!
Two words: Sea Pearls
They used to be marketed as natural sea sponge tampons but I’m guessing some government agency cracked down on that.
I remember about 15-20 years ago I was reading about them for the first time on the Mothering message board and a poster said she thought about using them but she felt weird about sticking a dead animal up her yoni. Never realized sea sponges weren’t a plant until that day.