So if you follow me on instagram you know that when I’m stressed out I embroider because stabbing things thousands of times with tiny needles is great therapy and keeps me from stabbing assholes who probably deserve it since you’re not allowed to stab people even if it’s only lightly in the leg with a fork (according to my therapist). I usually buy the patterns on etsy but a bunch of people were like, “You should make your own pattern” so I did and yesterday when I was in the waiting room to see my shrink another patient looked over at my work and was like, “Oh. Well that’s…oh.” And I’m pretty sure that’s code for “You can go in front of me because clearly you need more help” and so I explained, “It’s a dead raccoon who lives with me” and then she nodded and said she’d left something out in her car and I’m guessing that it was her sense of whimsy and artistic appreciation because personally? I think it’s some of my best work.

This is flamazing. I’m so happy you’re branching into your own patterns. They will be awesome.
Now there’s a pattern I would do cross-stitching for!
You had me at stab…..
That is completely awesome and I love it. 🙂
This is the only thing I want for Valentine’s Day.
ALL THE LOVE! It’s brilliant! We want this on zazzle! 😘😘😘
That is FABULOUS!!!
This is the best damn embroidery I’ve ever seen.
Love it! That’s fantastic! I would buy it or just the pattern.
That’s amazing!
I love it. Some of your best work Jenny. You help me be less stabby.
You should try needle felting. So much more stabby than embroidery.
I Love this So Much!!
EY to go! Beautiful.
This is fabulous! Like everything you do. 😁❤️
SO GREAT!!! Awesomeness!
Furiously Stabby should be the title of your next book.
Thread Rory looks perfect and I see him as furiously happy in this medium as well…
Great Work !
This is amazing! You should include the pattern with your next book and then have a contest for the most creatively (and legally!) embroidered Rory.
Yay!! It looks amazing!! Love your stabbing pattern!!
I’ve never bought an embroidery patter, but I would definitely buy this one! It’s perfect!
I love it! That lady probably left to find her own dead raccoon because she never realized how adorable they are. 😀
Awesome! Sell this pattern (if you feel meh about that, do it for the cause of your choice maybe and donate the proceeds! I want one if you’ll share!)
Love your stabbing pattern!!! Looks amazing
I love it!! I would put it on pillows, coasters, curtains you name it. That happy ass raccoon can go anywhere he wants to in my house!!
So good it almost makes me what to take up embroidery.
This is amazing! This makes me want to take up embroidery. Keep up the stabbing!
I stabbed a fellow student in the leg with a pencil in jr high and got away with it. Maybe you should consider switching from forks to pencils?
This is awesomazing!!!
I’m so glad someone encouraged you to design your own and you chose this because Rory, crewel, and stabbing go together so well.
FABBBBBBOOOO!
I don’t embroider anymore because it it too hard for my arthritic thumbs but if I did I would totally do a pattern like this! It’s so great that you have created your own pattern and can do something you really love.
Yay Rory!!!! He needs to be the face of more items. Way to rock the waiting room!
Serious respect here from a fellow embroiderer. Designing your own patterns is a step beyond the usual and this is amazeballs.
I may have to start spending some of my drinking money on stabbing money! This is so freaking awesome!
This is so great! ❤️❤️❤️
I love this! Incredible work!
This is fantastic! Great job Jenny!!!
Next up: Juanita Weasel? 🙂 xo
When I was a kid, my Girl Scout troop would go to Amish country and our troop leader would put together a cross stitch kit for each of us. We would diligently stitch out little Amish people (the pattern, not the actual Amish) and twenty mumble mumble years later I have a bag of half finished Amish people in the closet in myparemts house. (That was a way weirder sentence than I thought it’d be). All of that to say, if I’d had an awesome Rory pattern to work on I’d probably have finished embroidery hanging in my house instead of a closet of embroidery shame…
I love it!! Captures a certain feeling!!
That’s great! I’d recognize him anywhere.
Honestly if you can’t say something like that at your therapists office where can you say it? And that is awesome.
I once took an embroidery class to learn thread painting. My design was Mexican wrestlers.i got a lot of “That’s interesting”
OH, this is the BEST!
I need the pattern plsssssss.
I think you should make and sell embroidery patterns.
Also I will agree to disagree with your therapist regarding light fork-stabbing.
The only thing I end up stabbing is my own finger! I love this though!!
I think that lady left because she was SO distressed that she doesn’t have this embroidered Rory. Because… This. Is. Awesome!
How is so much creativity packed into one person? You are amazing on so many levels. I’m very impressed with your skills.
Love your artistry!!
If you like stabbing things, and clearly you do, you should try doing needle felting. It’s even stabbier (more stabby) than embroidery!
Awesome needlework of Rory! Yes, please make patterns to sell!
I love you Jenny, and thanks for the laugh today!
I love him! Put the patterns on your etsy and people will buy the shit out of them. I would! Now, it’s been about 30years since I last embroidered, but to have Rory raccoon, I’d relearn! Lol!
Furiously perfect! 🙂
Brilliant. Made me laugh out loud when I saw your embroidered raccoon.
You should sell those for charity! That’s wonderful!
Hey Rory!
It would give me something to do while I quietly freeze to death in Illinois today. -45 to -55 windchill today. Record breaking. Everything is closed down except my job…… Time to stab someone? Grrrr…….
It’s embRORYdery!
Apparently no one has told your therapist about acupuncturists.
i totally want this pattern – however, i want it to say Knock Knock, mother fuckers! on it as well. lmao. oh, i want this…..
Wonderful work!!! Your really brought the joy of Rory to life via thread and needle. And being less stabby is always a good thing – despite our feelings at that moment. I look forward to seeing James Garfield next!!
This is awesome! I love that you’re making your own patterns.
OMG – you should sell these on your site!
I agree– definitely some of your best work and you should be proud of it!
Jenny, do you use a regular needle or the fun cheater tool? I bought the cheater tool off Instagram last summer, and I still haven’t tried it. Winter slump=me sitting in a chair with a bag of pretzels reading and eating.
He looks so upRORYiously happy!
Well now we know what we’ll be seeing in the store next… 🙂 This is amazing!
Stabbing! What a great way to “cut in line” at your shrink’s. I love this critter, by the way!
I’m born and raised in New Orleans and seriously think you need an authentic voodoo doll to stab. I should send you one with a hex on Roger Goodell so you can stab away!!!! WHO DAT!!!
What no zombie? And yes I’m in the middle of ‘Let’s pretend it never happened’ and loving it. I’m going to suggest it for my book club!
This is amazing. I’m impressed!
Love this! So when’s the embroidery pattern coming out? Mona
You should create more patterns because – he looks AMAZING!!
WOW! I’ve been going about it all wrong. Time to set aside my crocheting & knitting to learn embroidery.
I think I need embroidered Rory mittens and a hat to keep me warm in this polar vortex. I’m supposed to go to therapy tomorrow, and normally I would do anything to get there to help me stay… well… not full of anxiety monsters, but taking public transit in these temperatures? Brrr!
wonderful! and thanks for being supportive all the time! i design my own posters all the time using clip art and my therapist loves them – this week it’s ‘I live with a rabid dog’ (long explanation) and it reminds me not to get too stressed out by the bitch. i have designed my own needlework too – i did my own ‘for fox sake’ which hangs above me in the teeth of a taxidermied trout. of course, no one but you will understand why there’s a trout on the wall of my bedroom…
I feel like you are creative enough to just free hand, eh stab, without a pattern, but how do you make your own pattern? Or better yet, you put them in your shop!
Will you start selling your own patterns? i’d buy them!!!
Yes, it’s fantastic, actually.
I wear my Rory the Racoon leggings to the gym. The pattern is positioned so that it looks like he is patting me on the butt for being a good girl and exercising (yuck). Monday the guy next to me commented on them saying he loved my leggings. I told it was Rory the Racoon and showed him where Rory pats my butt. He said it is so rare to see fashion in the gym. I told he him got extra points for noticing and commenting. And then I realized he should just get extra points for commenting as no one is not a noticing a woman in leggings with a racoon patting her on the butt.
Oh shit! I am impressed!!
Great interpretation! I was expecting something sweary…
Love this!!! You are the 👑 of satin stitch!!
That is absolutely AWESOME!
That’s fun! Many of your coloring book pages would make great designs too. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2019/01/28/my-dead-cat-is-in-a-calendar/
I LOVE THIS.
That’s fucking amazing. I LOVE IT.
I don’t embroider but if I did, I would want that pattern.
I wish I knew how to cross-stitch. I would love this!
E
The best!
Keep it up!
LOVE LOVE LOVE! How happy and still stabby is this! Rory can come live at my house anytime. I’ll even stab tiny needles thousands of times to bring him to life…..and invariable stab myself in the process, but anything worthwhile is worth getting bloody over. Please make the patterns available in your shop! And btw, have you tried Needle Punch Embroidery? You get sharp atabby needles AND punching!
love it!! it is truly fabulous
Love Rory, love you!!
It’s amazing! I have him on my wall at work, why would anyone question the beauty of dead raccoon waving frantically at you? I personally think it’s one of your best works also! HUGS!
oh I need to learn how to do that!
I cross stitch and have never thought of it that way but that could be why I find it so relaxing! I love your embroidery of Rory!! It’s awesome! I can’t draw so I just go by pattern. Great job!
Do you ever sell your needlework? They are wonderful!!!💕💕💕❤️
O, Rory!!
Ummmm, are you going to sell the pattern for this because I NEED IT! I mean, you have an actual taxidermy Rory. I want to do an embroidery one! (I don’t know how, but I’ll fucking learn!)
Please tell me we can buy the pattern, Jenny!!! 🙏💕😫
That is AMAZING!!!!! Great work!
Anyone who doesn’t feel furiously stabby just isn’t paying attention.
I see a side business in your future… (embroidery patterns, that is, not stabbing).
This is pure GOLD!!!!
I thought it was Rocket form Guardians of the Galaxy!
Love it! Excellent use of stabby hands!
Okay, it’s time to finish it, frame it, sign it, and then AUCTION it to give the proceeds to your favorite charity. Seriously, put it on ebay, let us all know it’s there and then watch us roll
That is so cool, it makes me wish I was better at crafty things. Usually the only one who gets stabbed when I do something like this is me.
I love it!!
freakin and furiously amazing needlepoint!!
It’s gorgeous. I don’t know what her problem is. Kudos on the creativity to make your own pattern.
Jenny. I would gladly let you stab me in any visible body part ( I had to go back and add Visible because- well you know) if I could have a Rory embroidery. That’s fucking fantastic. I’m so proud of you! I have one of your little Rory pencils pouch bag things for my crochet hooks and every time I take it out of my purse my husband rolls his eyes at me. ya high is actually really motivating: great job, you.
More things to purchase on Zazzle.
Seriously, that’s great.
I’d make that pattern… I’d take up embroidery to make that
Clearly she recognized Rory from the book and then realized who YOU are, and was overwhelmed by being in the same room with a celebrity of such magnitude
I would love a whole couchful of happy dead animal embroidered pillows
It’s so incredibly wonderful – Bravo!!!
I would love a whole couchful of happy dead animal embroidered pillows
I cannot relate to waiting-room lady. I am glad I am amused by the off-beat. Life would be so boring otherwise!
You should sell this exact pattern on Etsy! I don’t embroider but I’d learn just to make this guy!
I think it’s amazing! I’m working on a crochet filet pattern but it doesn’t look nearly as cool. Maybe I should try in appropriate filet?!
Haha, the lady in the waiting room totally didn’t leave anything in her car, but she might have left because she pooped her pants a little, haha.
This is AMAZING! You did a fantastic job! I would love to have the pattern. It’s perfect for your fans who also love furiously stabbing fabric instead of people. 😉
This is awesome badass stitchery! Facebook has a group just for this. It’s called Mildly Offensive Fiber Artists.
Check it out. They are tude, crude, and socially unacceptable….aka, my kindo peoples.
Jenny, you sound like you are having the same kind of time I am right now. Thank you for reminding me I can laugh in the face of all this stress and I hope this ends up in your store soon!
Oh my gosh please release this as a pattern!!! I would love to buy it and make Rory for my wall of embroidery hoops.
And just think – you could sell your patterns!
It makes me smile!
That looks sooo great!! I would honestly buy that, I’ll give you all the moneys!
I’d totally embroider that! Love it!
RORY!!!! He’s lovely and artistic and well stabbed!!! Good work Jenny!
Love it!
I haven’t embroidered anything since I was a kid, but I’m thinking that everyone one of the beautiful patters in your book, You are Here should be embroidered ASAP. #teamstabby
Rory Rulez!
Pattern! Pattern! Pattern!
That is amazing Jenny, and hilarious
This rocks!!
Clearly—-and BTW—-I’m now collecting pictures of roosters.
FABULOUS
Poor lady, doesn’t understand the magic of Rory.
Furiously awesome! I agree with many of the other commenters – you should sell your own embroidery designs in your zazzle shop :-). Rory looks great and maybe some of the designs from your colouring book too? I love seeing other people’s projects whether its craft, writing, miniatures, cooking, recommendations, etc – I find it really inspiring!
This is AMAZING.
He is Furiously Fantastic! Beautifully done.
Rory is furiously fabulous…..perhaps you could make embroidery patterns from the illustrations in “You Are Here”? I’ve got to think that would be awesome, at least for the rest of us anyway.
Jenny, you are so damned talented! You amaze me. You inspire me. Thanks for being!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I need to remember this trick the next time my shrink or any other doctor keeps me waiting. LOL.
Seriously? She didn’t recognize Rory? What rock does she live under?
Was this free hand? So cute!
“Furiously stabby”. Ima gonna use that as a mood description from here on in.
I so want this pattern.
I so want this pattern.
It’s awesome! Funny story.
Rory is so cute. You need to start selling embroidery patterns Jenny.
Oh hello Rory! My coworker and I were just having a conversation about feeling Furiously Stabby at work!! No kidding!! I told her I wished I had a tiny stuffed Rory on my desk. If I cross stitched this I could look at Rory all day!! Jenny you inspire me to create, you make me laugh & cry, often at the same time. Love the needlepoint!! Keep stabbing!!
Our dining room chair seats are covered in beautiful needlepoint my grandmother did. How fun (and funny) would it be to have chair seats with this on them? 🙂
Fantastic and he doesn’t look dead to me 🙂
I believe that some of the little things in life help us through it. I love your beautiful piece of art. I have trouble getting back into my hobbies and things aren’t very easy for me however I’m getting through it. Even if needles can only go through a couple layers of skin, lol just kidding
I need this pattern. Desperately. Please and Thank You.
Thank God you’re back, Jenny! I wasn’t sure I was going to survive another day without the grounding you and Rory give me! Rory’s never looked better!
That is great!!! You made me smile, I needed it.
That’s a REALLY accurate depiction of Rory! I bow to your amazing embroidery skills 💜
Love this! I’m inspired to take up embroidery again!
Love love love this!!!! Any chance we can get a pattern or kit? I could really use a stab fest venting and Rory seems like a great byproduct .
Jenny,
You write: “since you’re not allowed to stab people even if it’s only lightly in the leg with a fork (according to my therapist).”
Have you seen the wonderful movie Keeping Mum? (It has Maggie Smith in it.) I think you would appreciate a movie with this kind of dialogue:
“Gloria Goodfellow: You can’t just go ’round killing people just because you don’t approve of them!
Grace Hawkins: You know, that’s what my doctors used to say. It was the one point we could never agree on.”
Ruth
I cannot embroider it. Would you send it to me? The creature you have chosen is my last name. I can prove it, but I’m not sure how without one or both of us divulging sensitive personal details.
Thank you for giving me reasons to laugh this week. I needed that.
Screw the pattern- I want THAT one with claim to share this story!!!
Rather than knitting/sewing/stitching I go camping where other people don’t. Results in a 99% reduction in stab-deserving asshold quotiont.
I love you.
Ballerass embroidery.
Some people just don’t appreciate art. (Or, not being stabbed!)
LOL! I love it!
This is everything good and marvelous in the world 😍😍😍
I love it!! 🙂
I would 100% hang this in my home. That book (Furiously Happy) means so much to me, finally allowing me to laugh at my anxiety – at least, parts of it.
This is everything good and marvelous in the world!!! <3
I read a quote from R. M Drake that made me think of you this week, and I wanted to share it:
“We must understand that sadness is an ocean, and sometimes we drown, while other days we are forced to swim.”
I know forcing yourself to swim is the hardest thing. I think Drake forgot to say the end of his thought, so I’ll complete it just for you:
“and sometimes crazy people you meet on the internet will throw you a life buoy to hold onto while they furiously paddle a super small and somewhat leaky canoe, which, realistically probably won’t help your forward progress at all, but hey! they will probably give you snacks.” Here’s a life buoy and the promise of snacks from one of your weirdo internet family <3
I LOVE IT! You are so awesome. I’d love to see the mouse from your first book, or even better a chicken, What a great creative outlet you found. Good for you. I wish I had your talent, I just have mental illness that makes me throw things when I get to my breaking point. My poor husband. I need to find a better outlet. Jenny you are so inspiring to me. Love you girl. Keep being you.
I used to embroider, and now I KNOW WHY!!! Stabby stabby stabbby
Love it! Love you!
Machine stitching is also great for when high speed stabbing is called for.
I once stabbed my ex in the hand with a fork. We were sharing creme brulee, and I was saving a particularly tasty piece for last. He tried to steal it with his spoon, and I told him if he did it again, I would stab him in the hand with a fork. He did it again, and I stabbed him (lightly) in the hand with a fork. To his credit, every time I heard him tell this story, it ended with “I can’t say I wasn’t warned.” So maybe you can stab people lightly with a fork….they just need to be the right people. Or maybe I need to take up embroidery.
You need to sell this pattern!!!!!!
Love it! I needed that laugh. Could just imagine that woman’s face. You go, girl! BTW, knitters are known for being “stabby”. Here’s a look at a pattern that screams you, it looks like barbed wire. https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/barbed-wire
Holy crap this is the most compelling reason for embroidering that I’ve ever heard of! I’ve been toying with the idea of picking up embroidery, and now I think that I really must.
Have you tried punch needle embroidery? It’s fun, creative and has the word “punch” in the title!
I would buy this.
Want
That is my single most favorite piece of needlework ever. You are amazing and inspiring.
Best. Embroidery. Ever.
But Rory is sooo cute. Anyone can see that!
PLEASE tell me your going to sell these or do a book of patterns.
That is flipping amazing.
Amazing! I hadn’t considered sumblimating stabbyness into embridery. I need to dig out my cross stitch WIP. I would support a presale of patterns….
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Nice work!
Something wrong with that woman. If I saw you doing something like that in a waiting room I would think that is someone I want to talk with.
Honestly? I can’t get past the carpet in your therapist’s office. Is that supposed to be relaxing???
As an embroiderer (but not a designer) myself, I am seriously impressed with this. I’d never be able to design anything like this. Looks just like Rory, and I love the way you have him offset in the hoop.
IT’S RORY!!!! I love it! Girl, you are such a killer artist!
Wonderful! Rory looks so excited!
Yeah or you reminded her that she left her dead raccoon in the car and she was all like oh shit
Thank you for the best belly laugh right now. That’s a pretty excited dead racoon! 🙂
I would SO buy that pattern!!
Love the “ oh hello “
That is amazing free-hand embroidery! Love it!
I think he is absolutely fabulous!!
She clearly couldn’t appreciate your gifts. (Eye roll).
Zazzle those bitches up! I would totally buy a Beyonce, a Rory and a Juanita to add to my stitching collection!
Love it.
OMG this is freaking AWESOME! I don’t do embroidery, I do however do cross-stitch (another hobby craft I’ve taken up from my grandmother and mother). Now I want to find a pattern of this little fella and cross stitch the heck out of him!
I lurve Rory IN ALL FORMS. Srsly. – You are one of my favorite people, Jenny. Thank you for sharing this. It’s been a crappy 48 hours and I needed some furiously happy in my life.
That is WONDERFULLY cute!!
Jenny, if you need to stab something you would love needle-felting. It is very therapeutic. And you can make some really crazy things.
I love it! <3
So creative-I will now be taking up the craft of needle pointing. But Jenny, if you are ever in Seatlle- I will bring out my forks so we can really relax 🙂
You did a great job!
Stabby. That’s perfect. I never thought of embroidery work that way before, but now I won’t be able to unthink it!
And I think your raccoon is a bad ass. Keep up the great attitude and great work!