I’m dealing with a nasty case of jet lag (which Victor says doesn’t exist and is just an excuse for sleeping until noon and maybe it is but it is a very good one) but it was totally worth it because Japan was totally fucking weird, but in the best possible way. I documented a bit on twitter and instagram but a lot of you asked me for my full itinerary so you could follow it if you go to Japan so I’m going to plop everything all here. Pitter patter…
We went to a sushi restaurant where the food comes around on a little electronic sidewalk and it was awesome except that I don’t really like sushi so Victor and Hailey ate octopus and eyeballs and I ate french fries like a child. They were delicious though.
Victor and Hailey did a lot of exploring while I hid in the hotel room and recuperated from being around people, but I was actually able to so much more than I thought.
Went to this Cat Cafe in Harajuku and it was sort of awesome because the cats are weird and beautiful but also none of them wanted to be petted because I guess they were all petted out so instead they just hid and honestly, I could totally relate.
Also, this guy wouldn’t stop looking at me:
We went to the Kawaii Monster Cafe, which I thought was going to be intimidatingly scary but actually it was like if Chuck E. Cheese and Rainforest Cafe went to Japan and did a lot of ecstasy.
Each of us had one thing we insisted on doing. For Hailey it was Moosh, a store that sells squishy stuff.
Then we had a day of traveling as we went to Fuji, Lake Hakone and Lake Biwa:
That was anticlimactic. Also we were supposed to go to a volcano to eat black sulfer eggs but we weren’t allowed to because the volcano was being volcany. Instead we went here:
So I didn’t see Fuji that day but I did see it from a bus days later, and it was still worth it because…
We stayed overnight at the Lake Biwa Marriot, and there was a hot spring in our room which basically was just like a bath but with constantly running water. It was awesome except that I kept waking up thinking that the toilet was overflowing and then I couldn’t go back to sleep without peeing.
We traveled to Nara, where the deer were once considered sacred but are now a cross between being adorable and bitchy as hell if you don’t feed them (relatable). They will bow to you if you give them crackers but maybe don’t wear a dress because this happens. (Didn’t make a joke about them being horny even though I totally wanted to.)
Inside the temple there is an enormous Buddha. There’s a giant wooden stake with a hole in it that is said to be the same size of the Buddha’s nostril and if you can crawl through it you get enlightenment in the next life but there was no way I wasn’t getting stuck inside that guy’s nose and I’m not into getting fat-shamed by Buddha in front of 100 strangers.
Victor: Should we go to a museum?
Me: There’s a place in Tokyo where there are robot wars in the basement each night.
Victor: WTF Jenny.
We went to the Tokyo Robot Restaurant, where I ate churros and french toast and drank Zima and had acid flashbacks and it was like being in college all over again. But with robots.
A bunch of people told me to go to a TeamLab exhibit and the tickets were sold out for the borderless show so instead we went to Planets, which is supposed to be smaller but was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen in my life.
It looks like it might be anxiety-inducing but honestly it was so relaxing and surreal.
We went to a cafe where you could hold hedgehogs and I’m not sure why we had to use gloves because I have friends who have hedgehogs and they never use gloves but maybe the hedgehogs are germaphobes.
We accidentally went to an aquarium and it wasn’t very English-friendly but it was still lovely.
The one thing I wanted to see in Japan was the Parasite Museum…
I actually have a picture of the world’s largest tapeworm (which was in some guy until he pooped it out and was the length of a school bus) but it was a terrible picture. (Of me. The tapeworm looked fine.)
And on the last day we went to the Oedo Tokyo Antique:
And then we got on a series of planes that were delayed so many times I lost track, but after over 24 hours of planes, we got home.
My depression is still in recession so far so I was able to do so much more than I expected. I kept thinking that I was going to end up sick and exhausted but it never happened. I told Victor how lucky people are who don’t have to deal with depression or chronic illness…and how they can’t really appreciate how amazing it is to be able to live without exhaustion. But then I remembered how lucky I am to have a treatment that is working so far, and to be able to go to Japan at all, and to have you all in my corner. I guess luck is relative.