Not the superhero we deserve. The superhero we need.

Okay, so a couple weeks ago I asked you to help me name the elderly taxidermied bear currently propped up against my desk. You guys picked Matthew McCLAWnaughey, which totally made sense because of his Alright, alright, alright shirt…

…but then I kept sneezing all week and I was like, “Am I allergic to Matthew McCLAWnaughey?” but turns out that whoever owned this bear was a smoker so I had to trash the shirt and give a lavender sponge bath to a dead bear and now I’m questioning my life choices AND the name doesn’t really work anymore.

Luckily I have a giant closet filled with bizarre clothes I’ve bought at flea markets and most of them aren’t really bear sized but you know what always fits?  Motherfucking capes, that’s what.

Then Victor was like, “Jesus Christ.  Why is the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor in your office?” and I was like, “It’s DocGRRRR Strange.  Obviously.”

But then I thought maybe we’d go in a different direction.

Meet Ruth Bader Ginsbear:

The look Hunter S. Thomcat is giving Justice Ginsbear is eerily similar to the one Victor is giving me right now.

So I guess what I’ve decided is that this bear can be whoever the hell she wants to be.  One day she’s a wizard.  The next she’s a fighter.  We could learn a lot from that bear.

Long live the bear inside of us all.

 

 

117 thoughts on “Not the superhero we deserve. The superhero we need.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Your bear is the best because your bear is versatile and she can be dressed to fit the mood of the home and the people in your home. Hopefully, your bear is always happy with a big grin.

  2. I love that you’ve definitely owned a gavel all this time and just had no use for it till now.

  3. Love it! Although I would not love redressing a full-size bear on the regular. I’m too lazy to let it have more than one persona.

  4. Long live Ruth Bader Ginsburg! I really hope she sees this. (And Ruth Bader GinsBEAR needs no long-life wishes. He/she’s already got that down.

  5. She looks delighted to be a Supreme Court Justice! And captures RBG’s pugnacity perfectly.

  6. I have never wanted a taxidermied anything in my house, but now I sooo want Ruth Bader Ginsbear. I LOVE her.

  7. I’m man enough to admit that I’m bitterly jealous of Ruth Bader Ginsbear and her effortless chameleonic nature. I spent the entirety of my thirties in the futile effort of trying to become Tina Yothers.

  8. I guess it’s like the old saying, “Well-behaved lady bears seldom make history.”

    Live long and prosper, Justice Ginsbear.

  9. I cannot say how your book transformed the idea of really laughing from the gut!I have started sending mock ” dear victor” missives to my daughters with great delight. Thank you from the bottom of my gut. Think we were separated at birth.  A million thank yous for being you! Kit

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

  10. I really need to know the measurements of the bear so I can make him/her/it some costumes. I have the perfect pattern for a renaissance costume for Sir Bearbert Duddly. Or perhaps a hulu outfit for Akonibear (worthy of admiration or praise in the Hawaiian language). The possibilities are endless…..

  11. Just when I think I cannot love you any more than I already do – you up the ante, Jenny! Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

  12. With those glasses, RBG could be the alter ego of Beary Goldwater. RBG is much better, though.

  13. Ruth Bader Ginsburg needs to see her namesake…err bearsake. Someone make that happen!

  14. Now I want a bear too. A bear and a chainsaw for my anniversary gift this year. Why the fuck not?

  15. Doesn’t the bear have a penis? I mean She can be whoever she is. You know I don’t need to define anyone but maybe the Divine RBG?

  16. You’re killing me. I just spit soda all over. I work in a law office.

  17. “LONG LIVE THE BEAR INSIDE US ALL!”

    This needs to be on a product as well ad my new motto posted on everything I own.

  18. Ruth is perfect! Your life choices may not be, but they are unusual, so at least you will never be boring.

  19. Omg she’s looks great as a judge. Now she can settle all of victors and yours fights. Please video any trials you have for justice and all you know ;0)

  20. The change of clothes is a really big improvement!! Love both Supreme Court Justice and Super hero wizard looks!! Low rise jeans and too tight shirt had to go!!

  21. I love the cape. It looks like a scene out of a Fairy Tale that might have a noble bear.

  22. If she’s been a wizard and a fighter, she obviously still needs to be a cleric and a thief so you can complete the set. 🙂

  23. I also really like that he became a she and we are all just rolling with it as that is clearly not the most important part. 🙌🏻

  24. I am a huge fan of RBG and love that you have a Ruth Bader Ginsbear. She is a great symbol of strength and courage that also reflects the person that you are.

  25. This made me belly laugh out loud. Thank you. I needed a good laugh. I was in a car accident last Tuesday night and my car was totalled. I’m compromised, but not severely injured so I’m very very grateful. The pain and my physical limitations though are getting to me …but this totally made my day. You always come through Jenny ☺️

    I mean… the gavel.. and those glasses!!!!! How on EARTH did you find glasses to fit Beary RBG’s face so well?!? Just spot on. I have a feeling your closet holds many treasures…both wacky and wonderful!

  26. Every time I think you’ve written my favorite post… I adore Ruth Bader GInsbear – she is a superhero. You’re amazing. And weirdly wonderful.

  27. That is the most exuberant looking dead bear I’ve ever seen. Anything more and you might just bring it back to life, like a giant Zombie Winnie the Pooh.

  28. So beary funny! Was hoping to get through this post before my battery died. Love that your wardrobe and stuffed toys keeps us all amused. Thanks for the laughs.

  29. I will remember this bear every morning as I choose who I want to be that day. Thank you, Notorious RBGB!

  30. Jenny, you have one awesome bear! I like that you let him be various personalities at whim! You are so much fun to read Jenny! Thank you, Amy

  31. Will you adopt me please? I’d be happy to change personalities every day ( I’ve had practice ) and, bonus, I can dress myself.

    (Totally. ~ Jenny)

  32. This made me laugh, I needed a laugh. My long time friend who has been battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer for 4 years is sadly going to be leaving us soon. I had her move in with me

  33. (Oops, I’m continuing my comment here) I had her move in with me a year ago to help her. Yesterday she had to go on hospice, Iv known her since we were 17 (we are now 60) we both have anxiety and depression and have helped each other out through the years. But your RBG bear made me laugh. Thank you

    (Sending you and your friend so much love. ~ Jenny)

  34. We need a t-shirt with Ruth Bader Ginsbear so we can send it to Justice Ginsburg and hope she wears it under her robe when court is in session! When court isn’t in session I see a side career for Ruth Bader Ginsbear as the honorary headmistress of Lawson Academy for Gifted Strangelings.

  35. My husband just pointed out that the last picture is dead-on Sally Jesse Raphael. We couldn’t come up with a good bear name for that, but you are probably smarter than we are. Aaaaaaaaaaand go.

  36. Ruth Bader Ginsbear!!! Love, love, love. And love that this bear is so fluid and diverse.

  37. And from her time at the Court of the Supremes, Ruth Bader-Ginsbear can flip over to being Diana Ross, who I CANNOT figure out a proper beary name for!

    (Diana Grrrrrrross? ~ Jenny)

  38. You need to investigate if there are heavy duty Roombas big enough to carry RBG. Then get normal ones for the critters and presto, you have the home version of the Japanese robot parade. Or maybe bumper cars. You already have the music…

    (This is the best idea ever. ~ Jenny)

  39. In the first Ruth Bader Ginsbear photo, is that a cosmetology mannequin head on the shelf?

    (I think so. I got it at a thrift shop years ago. ~ Jenny)

  40. I like Justice Ginsbear. Also, that is the best chandelier I have ever seen in my life! And I want one, even though I have nowhere to put it.

  41. Hunter S. Tomcat: Holy SHIT. Psst. Rolly. Rolly!

    Rolly: it’s right behind me, isn’t it?

    (Love the name, BTW!)

  42. Your grey cat is clearly saying “It’s behind me, isn’t it? It’s right behind me, right now.”

  43. You said you dont read your email but im emailing anyway.

    I started reading Furiously Happy a couple weeks ago and thought ok … shrug … i can see why someone would think thats funny.

    I got sick last week … fever probably from sitting in the sun in the car with my husband while waiting for my kidney doc appointment.

    The other day i started reading it again and think its really funny. The book … not that i got sick from sitting in a sunny car with my husband.

    I even put that on my facebook page. I didnt mention the title since i thought someone might ask me but no one did. Thats creepy … That someone didnt ask me. But im old and know a lot of young people. So whats creepy is that young people dont seem to read as much anymore … or read what i might read.

    Its creepy too that it took getting sick to realize your book is really funny and that now i finally totally get it.

    I just thought you’d like to know all that.

    (I love this. Not the getting sick part. ~ Jenny)

  44. I knew about the Notorious RBG; This is the hysterical Ruth Bader GinsBEAR. Love this!

  45. now you need an evangelical outfit, so he/she can teach Dorothy Barker to ‘HEEL’

  46. Wait! You shouldn’t adopt her unless you adopt me too! We can have an Adoptathon in the comments so everybody gets adopted by somebody. Also, can someone please gift RBG-Bear a gift card for a manicure?

  47. There is nothing like a genderfluid bear judge and Jenny Lawson to make one’s day.

  48. Fabulous cape. And I’d like to point out that the pants he/she/it was wearing in the first place didn’t fit worth a darn anyway.

  49. Maybe a TEDDY Roosevelt outfit? I know it’s a little traditional but it makes me giggle a little since Teddy bears got their name from Teddy Roosevelt. Is that too meta?

  50. Then again, have you considered “bear Brummel” for his/her change days? A bit of man lace at the neck, , a sweep brimmed hat, and maybe a fancy walking stick, and you got a (ahem) dandy new character, and an excuse for more of those clothes. He/She is perfect for customization.

  51. I love your bookshelf. I love how its organized by color and how the dolls sit on the shelves with their ankles crossed. It is amazing!

  52. Have you read John Irving’s Hotel New Hampshire, or seen the movie? First line: “The summer my father bought the bear, none of us was born – we weren’t even conceived: not Frank, the oldest; not Fanny, the loudest; not me, the next; and not the youngest of us, Lilly and Egg.” This is the best review on Goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/129489007.

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