Okay, so a couple weeks ago I asked you to help me name the elderly taxidermied bear currently propped up against my desk. You guys picked Matthew McCLAWnaughey, which totally made sense because of his Alright, alright, alright shirt…
…but then I kept sneezing all week and I was like, “Am I allergic to Matthew McCLAWnaughey?” but turns out that whoever owned this bear was a smoker so I had to trash the shirt and give a lavender sponge bath to a dead bear and now I’m questioning my life choices AND the name doesn’t really work anymore.
Luckily I have a giant closet filled with bizarre clothes I’ve bought at flea markets and most of them aren’t really bear sized but you know what always fits? Motherfucking capes, that’s what.
Then Victor was like, “Jesus Christ. Why is the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor in your office?” and I was like, “It’s DocGRRRR Strange. Obviously.”
But then I thought maybe we’d go in a different direction.
Meet Ruth Bader Ginsbear:
So I guess what I’ve decided is that this bear can be whoever the hell she wants to be. One day she’s a wizard. The next she’s a fighter. We could learn a lot from that bear.
Long live the bear inside of us all.