Not the superhero we deserve. The superhero we need.

Okay, so a couple weeks ago I asked you to help me name the elderly taxidermied bear currently propped up against my desk. You guys picked Matthew McCLAWnaughey, which totally made sense because of his Alright, alright, alright shirt…

…but then I kept sneezing all week and I was like, “Am I allergic to Matthew McCLAWnaughey?” but turns out that whoever owned this bear was a smoker so I had to trash the shirt and give a lavender sponge bath to a dead bear and now I’m questioning my life choices AND the name doesn’t really work anymore.

Luckily I have a giant closet filled with bizarre clothes I’ve bought at flea markets and most of them aren’t really bear sized but you know what always fits?  Motherfucking capes, that’s what.

Then Victor was like, “Jesus Christ.  Why is the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor in your office?” and I was like, “It’s DocGRRRR Strange.  Obviously.”

But then I thought maybe we’d go in a different direction.

Meet Ruth Bader Ginsbear:

The look Hunter S. Thomcat is giving Justice Ginsbear is eerily similar to the one Victor is giving me right now.

So I guess what I’ve decided is that this bear can be whoever the hell she wants to be.  One day she’s a wizard.  The next she’s a fighter.  We could learn a lot from that bear.

Long live the bear inside of us all.

 

 

116 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Your bear is the best because your bear is versatile and she can be dressed to fit the mood of the home and the people in your home. Hopefully, your bear is always happy with a big grin.

    Gary recently posted Kale and silverbeet layer cake.

  2. Ruth Bader Ginsbear! PERFECT!! Plus, betcha she’s love it too!

  3. Amen sister!!

  4. I love that you’ve definitely owned a gavel all this time and just had no use for it till now.

  5. Please send photos to the notorious RBG! They’re both only a floppy witch hat away from McGonagall. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2019/06/23/cats-like-boobs/

  6. Love it! Although I would not love redressing a full-size bear on the regular. I’m too lazy to let it have more than one persona.

  7. Clearly the cats approve of your sartorial choices and the gavel. Well done, Jenny!

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted Happy Juneteenth, everyone!.

  8. Long live Ruth Bader Ginsburg! I really hope she sees this. (And Ruth Bader GinsBEAR needs no long-life wishes. He/she’s already got that down.

  9. Build-a-Bear hasn’t aged well.

  10. 10
    Pamela Norman

    She looks delighted to be a Supreme Court Justice! And captures RBG’s pugnacity perfectly.

  11. I had thought about Halley Beary, I mean now that you’ve changed it up to a females name. lol

    thehuntress915 recently posted The Disdain of High School Math and the Teacher that Helped Me Get Through It.

  12. Beary funny stuff!

  13. I have never wanted a taxidermied anything in my house, but now I sooo want Ruth Bader Ginsbear. I LOVE her.

  14. I’m man enough to admit that I’m bitterly jealous of Ruth Bader Ginsbear and her effortless chameleonic nature. I spent the entirety of my thirties in the futile effort of trying to become Tina Yothers.

    desertcurmudgeon recently posted Janice: A Psychological Profile.

  15. It took me a moment to find Hunter S. Thomcat in the photo. I’m all “THAT’S ROLLY!”

  16. This is why I need you in my life.

  17. A superbear can have as many secret identities as it wants.

  18. I guess it’s like the old saying, “Well-behaved lady bears seldom make history.”

    Live long and prosper, Justice Ginsbear.

    romcomdojo recently posted The Call Was Coming From Inside the Cockroach.

  19. I cannot say how your book transformed the idea of really laughing from the gut!I have started sending mock ” dear victor” missives to my daughters with great delight. Thank you from the bottom of my gut. Think we were separated at birth.  A million thank yous for being you! Kit

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

  20. 21
    Maggie Dempsey

    I think I DID need this bear. They’re really wonderful.

  21. My my! Does RBG know she is a hermaphrodite?

  22. I really need to know the measurements of the bear so I can make him/her/it some costumes. I have the perfect pattern for a renaissance costume for Sir Bearbert Duddly. Or perhaps a hulu outfit for Akonibear (worthy of admiration or praise in the Hawaiian language). The possibilities are endless…..

  23. Just when I think I cannot love you any more than I already do – you up the ante, Jenny! Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

  24. With those glasses, RBG could be the alter ego of Beary Goldwater. RBG is much better, though.

  25. Well, maybe not DaDA instructor, maybe Sybil TreCLAWny.

  26. 27
    Debbie Buckingham

    Love it!

  27. Rolly’s all, “She’s right behind me, isn’t she??”

  28. Except didn’t this bear have some man 👨parts?

  29. Ruth Bader Ginsburg needs to see her namesake…err bearsake. Someone make that happen!

  30. Now I want a bear too. A bear and a chainsaw for my anniversary gift this year. Why the fuck not?

  31. I’m so glad. I was in favor of Ruth Bader Ginsbear from the beginning.

  32. Doesn’t the bear have a penis? I mean She can be whoever she is. You know I don’t need to define anyone but maybe the Divine RBG?

  33. I can bearly contain my excitement at her new wardrobe.

  34. 35
    Your Royal Highness 👑

    PERFECT!! ♥️

  35. 36
    purplejessicat

    You’re killing me. I just spit soda all over. I work in a law office.

  36. “LONG LIVE THE BEAR INSIDE US ALL!”

    This needs to be on a product as well ad my new motto posted on everything I own.

  37. 38
    Sherrie Vineyard

    Ruth is perfect! Your life choices may not be, but they are unusual, so at least you will never be boring.

  38. Omg she’s looks great as a judge. Now she can settle all of victors and yours fights. Please video any trials you have for justice and all you know ;0)

  39. 40
    palmreeder

    The change of clothes is a really big improvement!! Love both Supreme Court Justice and Super hero wizard looks!! Low rise jeans and too tight shirt had to go!!

  40. 41
    Andie Vecchione

    I love the cape. It looks like a scene out of a Fairy Tale that might have a noble bear.

  41. Yasss!

  42. You have entirely too much time on your hands. I mean claws.

  43. You have entirely too much time on your hands. I mean claws.

  44. If she’s been a wizard and a fighter, she obviously still needs to be a cleric and a thief so you can complete the set. 🙂

  45. She looks so much less angry now. I guess clothes really do make a difference. Mona

    waywardsparkles recently posted Roman Holiday.

  46. I LOVE it!!! Ruth Bader Ginsbear!!!

  47. 48
    Sue Lindsay

    I love your color coded rainbow bookshelves.

  48. I also really like that he became a she and we are all just rolling with it as that is clearly not the most important part. 🙌🏻

  49. You are weirder than Japan, and also a goddess.

    Sherry Cassells recently posted #18.5 / One small vowel makes the difference between being goosed all day and being goosed only occasionally.

  50. I am a huge fan of RBG and love that you have a Ruth Bader Ginsbear. She is a great symbol of strength and courage that also reflects the person that you are.

  51. Omigod. I love this post so much 🙂

  52. This made me belly laugh out loud. Thank you. I needed a good laugh. I was in a car accident last Tuesday night and my car was totalled. I’m compromised, but not severely injured so I’m very very grateful. The pain and my physical limitations though are getting to me …but this totally made my day. You always come through Jenny ☺️

    I mean… the gavel.. and those glasses!!!!! How on EARTH did you find glasses to fit Beary RBG’s face so well?!? Just spot on. I have a feeling your closet holds many treasures…both wacky and wonderful!

  53. Ruth Bader Ginsbear is perfect! Please send her a picture of her namesake. Please, please, please! I’m sure she’ll love it. 😁

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Hello Deer! And Who Was In Charge of The Food?.

  54. Every time I think you’ve written my favorite post… I adore Ruth Bader GInsbear – she is a superhero. You’re amazing. And weirdly wonderful.

  55. That is the most exuberant looking dead bear I’ve ever seen. Anything more and you might just bring it back to life, like a giant Zombie Winnie the Pooh.

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 248: Pedicure Problems, Ken Gets An Award.

  56. So beary funny! Was hoping to get through this post before my battery died. Love that your wardrobe and stuffed toys keeps us all amused. Thanks for the laughs.

  57. 58
    Heather Torrey

    I will remember this bear every morning as I choose who I want to be that day. Thank you, Notorious RBGB!

  58. Perfection.

    deepfriedyankee recently posted Emergency Spam.

  59. RBearG is looking fierce with that gavel!

  60. Love live the bear, indeed!

  61. Jenny, you have one awesome bear! I like that you let him be various personalities at whim! You are so much fun to read Jenny! Thank you, Amy

  62. So now when she disappears from the bench, we’ll be left to wonder if the court is in recess… or she’s just hibernating.

    OwnLessDoMore.us recently posted Answering the call of doodie.

  63. 64
    Anne, Cranky Cat Lady

    A Bear For All Seasons!

  64. Will you adopt me please? I’d be happy to change personalities every day ( I’ve had practice ) and, bonus, I can dress myself.

    (Totally. ~ Jenny)

  65. Kind of ironic that the bear and it’s namesake are both taxidermied.

  66. 67
    Jenifer S.

    She definitely has balls.

  67. 68
    casinokelly

    This made me laugh, I needed a laugh. My long time friend who has been battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer for 4 years is sadly going to be leaving us soon. I had her move in with me

  68. (Oops, I’m continuing my comment here) I had her move in with me a year ago to help her. Yesterday she had to go on hospice, Iv known her since we were 17 (we are now 60) we both have anxiety and depression and have helped each other out through the years. But your RBG bear made me laugh. Thank you

    (Sending you and your friend so much love. ~ Jenny)

  69. 70
    Stacey Concors

    You NEVER fail to amuse me!! Bravo on another fine naming <3

  70. 71
    DeAnn Seneff

    Please, please fucking adopt me.

    (Ok. ~ Jenny)

  71. O Goddess, that is perfect!! RBG!

  72. We need a t-shirt with Ruth Bader Ginsbear so we can send it to Justice Ginsburg and hope she wears it under her robe when court is in session! When court isn’t in session I see a side career for Ruth Bader Ginsbear as the honorary headmistress of Lawson Academy for Gifted Strangelings.

  73. Maybe headmistress e-bearitus?

  74. I am soooo in love with Ruth Bader GinsBear.

  75. Love!!!

  76. Oh, I so LOVE LOVE LOVE the new name and outfit !!!

  77. My husband just pointed out that the last picture is dead-on Sally Jesse Raphael. We couldn’t come up with a good bear name for that, but you are probably smarter than we are. Aaaaaaaaaaand go.

  78. Ruth Bader Ginsbear!!! Love, love, love. And love that this bear is so fluid and diverse.

  79. The lavender sponge bath really did wonders for her fur!

  80. The sup-bear hero we need!

  81. I think we just found your next book cover!

  82. And from her time at the Court of the Supremes, Ruth Bader-Ginsbear can flip over to being Diana Ross, who I CANNOT figure out a proper beary name for!

    (Diana Grrrrrrross? ~ Jenny)

  83. You need to investigate if there are heavy duty Roombas big enough to carry RBG. Then get normal ones for the critters and presto, you have the home version of the Japanese robot parade. Or maybe bumper cars. You already have the music…

    (This is the best idea ever. ~ Jenny)

  84. In the first Ruth Bader Ginsbear photo, is that a cosmetology mannequin head on the shelf?

    (I think so. I got it at a thrift shop years ago. ~ Jenny)

  85. Long may she live!

    Taube Vallabha, PhD recently posted It was never the vaccines, it’s at least partly the pesticides.

  86. Ruth BEARder Ginsberg … obvs.

  87. I like Justice Ginsbear. Also, that is the best chandelier I have ever seen in my life! And I want one, even though I have nowhere to put it.

  88. Love it.

  89. Making me think of one of my favorite songs ever!

  90. Hunter S. Tomcat: Holy SHIT. Psst. Rolly. Rolly!

    Rolly: it’s right behind me, isn’t it?

    (Love the name, BTW!)

  91. SO PERFECT!!!

  92. Your grey cat is clearly saying “It’s behind me, isn’t it? It’s right behind me, right now.”

  93. I love this so much!!!

  94. 96
    TerryAnn Fisher

    You said you dont read your email but im emailing anyway.

    I started reading Furiously Happy a couple weeks ago and thought ok … shrug … i can see why someone would think thats funny.

    I got sick last week … fever probably from sitting in the sun in the car with my husband while waiting for my kidney doc appointment.

    The other day i started reading it again and think its really funny. The book … not that i got sick from sitting in a sunny car with my husband.

    I even put that on my facebook page. I didnt mention the title since i thought someone might ask me but no one did. Thats creepy … That someone didnt ask me. But im old and know a lot of young people. So whats creepy is that young people dont seem to read as much anymore … or read what i might read.

    Its creepy too that it took getting sick to realize your book is really funny and that now i finally totally get it.

    I just thought you’d like to know all that.

    (I love this. Not the getting sick part. ~ Jenny)

  95. 97
    Carol Kitchell

    This saved my morning! Only you, Jenny, only you.

  96. We all find ourselves…eventually;)

  97. I knew about the Notorious RBG; This is the hysterical Ruth Bader GinsBEAR. Love this!

  98. now you need an evangelical outfit, so he/she can teach Dorothy Barker to ‘HEEL’

  99. 101
    Amber Biliouris

    That bear looks very compassionate and patient

  100. 102
    Heather Lessells

    Wait! You shouldn’t adopt her unless you adopt me too! We can have an Adoptathon in the comments so everybody gets adopted by somebody. Also, can someone please gift RBG-Bear a gift card for a manicure?

  101. There is nothing like a genderfluid bear judge and Jenny Lawson to make one’s day.

  102. 104
    JenniferNennifer

    Fabulous cape. And I’d like to point out that the pants he/she/it was wearing in the first place didn’t fit worth a darn anyway.

  103. 105
    Margot Williams

    She looks much happier now.

  104. 106
    Tracy Newman

    Maybe a TEDDY Roosevelt outfit? I know it’s a little traditional but it makes me giggle a little since Teddy bears got their name from Teddy Roosevelt. Is that too meta?

  105. Then again, have you considered “bear Brummel” for his/her change days? A bit of man lace at the neck, , a sweep brimmed hat, and maybe a fancy walking stick, and you got a (ahem) dandy new character, and an excuse for more of those clothes. He/She is perfect for customization.

    judyt recently posted Time flies like a banana.

  106. I love your bookshelf. I love how its organized by color and how the dolls sit on the shelves with their ankles crossed. It is amazing!

  107. Serious question

    How do you clean everything you drag in when you find it?

  108. Justice Ginsbear’s dissents are ferocious!

  109. 111
    Anonymous

    Brilliant. If Mick Jagger weren’t God, you would be.

  110. 112
    Coriander

    I LOVE RUTH BADER GINSBEAR!

  111. Have you read John Irving’s Hotel New Hampshire, or seen the movie? First line: “The summer my father bought the bear, none of us was born – we weren’t even conceived: not Frank, the oldest; not Fanny, the loudest; not me, the next; and not the youngest of us, Lilly and Egg.” This is the best review on Goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/129489007.

  112. Notorious RBG rocks.

  113. Next time the nurse at the doctor’s office asks if you have any new allergies, please say “maybe bear.”

  114. 116
    Don in Waco

    “It just don’t get no better than a bear.” Song lyric by the late great Stephen Fromholtz. Worth a lookup and a listen. Here’s Lyle’s version:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_T4SaNuxZO8

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