I was going with Hermoine Grrrrranger but I couldn’t find the wig.

Victor:  What the shit, Jenny?

me:  Huh?

Victor:  What is even happening here?

me:  It’s Beary Potter.  Obviously.

“YOU’RE A WIZARD, BEARY.”

Victor:  *sigh*  And why – and I already regret asking this – why is he holding your great aunt’s raggedy-ass coat collar?

me:  That’s his patronus.  Foxy Brown.  And he resents being called “raggedy.”

Victor:  This is exactly why the aliens won’t talk to us.

80 replies. read them below or add one

  1. 1
    ocularnervosa

    “Step into my office, and don’t mind the bear”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This post gave me life!

    Like

  3. I have that same scarf. Sadly, I don’t have anything nearly as interesting to do with it.

    Like

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted Today in History – the Battle of Little Bighorn.

  4. Yeah Victor, put that all on Jenny and Beary.
    Aliens know who would understand them….

    Like

  5. You have such a full life! Lol Victor is so sweet! I would love your house except for the freaky dolls that is.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Just remind him that he’s the person that brought the best to you. He should have known. Obviously.

    Like

  7. LMAO I’m dying

    Like

  8. 8
    lmerryman260

    HA-HA-HA! I thought I was past the point where you could surprise me, but no, here you go again! Patronus. Hee!

    Like

  9. I rarely disagree with Victor, but I think this IS why aliens will communicate with us 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Gary recently posted Kale and silverbeet layer cake.

  10. He’s perfect. Victor knows nothing. Like Jon Snow.

    Like

    Chrissy Woj recently posted The existential crisis of a toy.

  11. … when a spell goes terribly wrong.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. 12
    Shannon M Conley

    “This is exactly why the aliens won’t talk to us” That has to be the best response I’ve heard in a long time. I think it’s going to be my new instead-of-sighing response. Fabulous. Also, if I were an alien, I would totally want to talk to you and Bearmione Granger.

    Like

  13. I enjoy reading about other marriages that are based on love and a warped sense of humor. That way I know I’m not alone.

    Like

  14. You should call him Beary Manilow

    Like

  15. Based solely on this one photo, I can tell this is going to be my favorite movie of the franchise.

    Liked by 1 person

    romcomdojo recently posted Shuuuuut Uuuuuuup.

  16. Omg I’m crying because Victor is killing me. Maybe it’s victors non funnyness that is keeping the aliens from talking to us. Ps in case you didn’t already know you’re awesome 👏🏻 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

    Like

  17. That is wonderful! And, tbh, Victor is an amazing foil for you!

    Like

  18. Obviously, Victor.

    Like

  19. 19
    theoriginalwordherder

    This year has sucked so bad (lost my job in April, and this past Sunday my 39yo best friend died of a freak pulmonary embolism after a bit so complicated surgery), and then I see this and I think I’ll stick around a bit longer. (•́ ‿ ,•̀) I still want a do over for this year though.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. 20
    theoriginalwordherder

    *not so complicated surgery

    Stupid fingers

    Like

  21. This is the beary best thing on the internet. (yep, I’m THAT kind of dork)

    Victor is a lovely man but sometimes I wonder if he’s even met you sometimes…

    Like

  22. I feel like you need a weasel now named Ron Weaselly. And you could get some other angry animal to be Hermione Grrrrrrrranger! Maybe something small so you could make the wig out of a doll’s hair?

    Liked by 1 person

    Ashleigh recently posted On Boredom.

  23. 23
    Heather from Canada

    To theoriginalwordherder, so sorry that you have had a hard time. Condolences on the loss of your best friend. Please DO stick around, because our tribe needs you (The Bloggessarians) AND I can pretty much guarantee that there will be a lot more funny from Jenny!

    Liked by 3 people

  24. I’d like to hear more about your great aunt.
    Also, other name options:
    Holding an umbrella – Beary/Hairy Poppins.
    Wearing ruffled collar and anything plaid – Beary/Hairy Queen of Scots.
    In a leotard – Mikhail Bearyshnikhov.
    Holding a trumpet – Beary/Hairy Connick Jr.
    Holding a guitar – Beary Garcia
    … and of course, holding a football, Bear Bryant.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. This is hysterically perfect, but it’s not helping my resolve to not get sucked in to playing Wizards Unite…Sybill Trelawney warned me about this.
    p.s. Beary’s patronus is awesome!

    Like

  26. 26
    mrldctygrl

    Mister Potter needs a cell phone in his left hand, the pose really looks like he’s trying to take a selfie with his patronus! And now we know how you and Victor are SO perfect for each other. A “normal” man would have referenced the NEIGHBORS, not ALIENS. For that, 50 points to Gryffindor. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  27. OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHMYGAWD….. I love these….they make me laugh so hard… thank you for bringing joy to my day. “Beary Potter. Obviously.” snort

    Like

  28. 28
    marykoladascott

    I went to an art show on Tuesday and saw a Bat Mobile, a mobile made from an umbrella frame from which tiny dead bats were hanging. When I told my husband about it, he said I should have taken a photo for you. You would love it!

    Like

  29. Now for an owl….

    Like

  30. sitting in the dentists office – giggling out loud. thank you.

    Like

  31. Victor’s life would be totally boring without you.
    You are so great at naming things. When you have time, there’s a loud, screechy Magpie that has entered into some kind of dysfunctional relationship with my cat and it really needs a name so I can stop calling it ‘That Fucking Bird’. Any help would be appreciated. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Where’s A Coyote When You Really Need One?.

  32. And there you have it. Jenny Lawson, saving the world from aliens with the help of her trusty sidekick D.C. Marvel, a.k.a Grizzly Clawson, master/mistress of disguise.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I love it. 😀 It’s PERFECT!

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted Here I go again for the 84,000th time.

  34. Who wouldn’t rather dress up a bear than play with a puny Barbie doll?

    Like

  35. Exactly Victor. And you’re welcome.

    Like

  36. Yes, it IS victor who brought you that beauteous bear. Great outfit 🙂

    Like

  37. Nice to see the little red Japanese tinkly doll. Do the cats try to push it over like those bobo dolls they used in psychology experiments?

    Like

  38. I covet a life-sized bear I can dress up. I DO have a life-sized cut out of Severus Snape, and I must be content with that.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. 39
    Ernie @ nosmallfeetblog.com

    I am not always great at dressing myself, how do you have time to sresss a stuffed bear?

    Like

  40. Bossy wordpress would not link my last post. Need to figure that out. Right after I plan my non-bear wardrobe for tomorrow.

    Like

    Ernie recently posted free buttons in a sea of strangers, who are sometimes strange.

  41. I think you missed an opportunity by not calling him Beary Pawter.

    Like

  42. I did not even know what a patronus was, and I’m still not certain, but I’m glad Beary’s got one.

    Like

    Sherry Cassells recently posted #19 / This is not a new feeling, but it’s rare, especially without tequila.

  43. If the aliens don’t talk to us,oh well! Beary Potter is Pawsome and Victor bought him for you! Lol Thank you for sharing Beary Potter

    Like

  44. 44
    Elizabeth M Goodbody

    Not bear related but thank you for being so open about your problems and TMS. I was so depressed I was ready to talk to the p-doc about it, and scared to death but your blog posts really helped, when my 4 years of horrid depression lifted.

    Like

  45. This made my day. I honestly have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard. Absolute love!

    Like

  46. I laughed so hard at this…maybe ONE day Victor could do a post as a guest for you – I feel like he’s got some excellent lines (and perhaps I’ll be using the alien one myself soon). Thank you so much for a great laugh!!!

    Like

  47. How do you dust with all your knick knacks??? I

    Like

  48. You and Victor crack me up!

    Like

  49. Ahhhhh down the sweet, sweet, rabbit hole of dressing taxidermy with other taxidermy. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/i-am-told-that-pimpin-aint-easy/

    Like

  50. @19theoriginalwordherder I’m so sorry. What a dreadful thing and when you’re already dealing with a major life issue.Take care of yourself. I hope Jenny and the Church of Bloggessarianism can help bring a smile to your face. Offering you all the hugs and love that will fit through the internet. We need you.

    Liked by 1 person

  51. @19theoriginalwordherder we ALL feel your pain. just as u feel ours at times. depression lies – we don’t. we need our tribe to remain whole & that includes you! i am holding u in my heart until you r ready to face the world again. 💞

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Really, I feel like this is exactly why the aliens do want to talk to us. But our democratically elected leaders give them pause. Like ‘Dude, these humans are awesome. How did they elect that guy to be their representative?’ Le sigh.

    Like

  53. ‘Raggedy Ass’, not simple ‘Raggedy’ is the term he used. But ‘Raggedy Ass’ is the ol’ whore with a wide selection of STDs, and she’s related to Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy. Okay, she’s their daughter, and they are brother and sister, so this is about to go all ‘Deliverance’ right soon. Uh oh, I think I hear a banjo… RUN!!!

    Like

  54. If you turn him around and give the butt flap Onesy pajamas (with flap open of course) he could be Neville Bearbottom.

    The fox shawl could be from grandmothers robes

    Like

  55. Slytherin scarf he could be Grrrrregory Goyle.

    Like

  56. I’m here for when you put a bear in a leotard. Geez, Victor.

    Like

  57. She could be MineGRRRRva McGonagall. I love that Victor knew that the collar belonged to your great aunt- he definitely pays attention to details even if he is blaming you for lack of alien contact!

    Like

    knockingonfortysdoor recently posted Bag of Hair Blues….

  58. Seriously, I want Victor to write a book about life from his perspective.

    Liked by 3 people

  59. I love you!

    Like

  60. Since Victor bought the bear….HE is why the aliens don’t talk to you. Love the new Bear Look!

    Like

  61. Regarding the wig….the fox is the correct color, just drape that over the bear’s head!

    Like

  62. this is why I follow you. my geeky heart just melts with love 💘

    Like

  63. Thank you so much for the laugh today. I love Beary Potter and his patronus!!!

    Like

  64. Waves wand “Accio Jenny’s humor and talent!”

    Like

    Arionis recently posted 642 Things To Write About – 5/642.

  65. I think any alien of good taste would be more than delighted to talk to you.

    Like

  66. 66
    ALAN C BURNSTINE

    “Victor: This is exactly why the aliens won’t talk to us.” I am stealing this line for conversations with my wife.

    Like

  67. Thank you for the laugh Jenny! I so needed it today.

    Like

  68. Haaaaagrrrrid!A parontonus is conjured from happy memories to chase away bogarts and especially Dementors. You don’t want to run into either Dementors are worse!MEP stitchdori1@aol.com

    Like

  69. A parontonus is conjured from happy memories to chase away bogarts and especially Dementors. You don’t want to run into either Dementors are worse!MEP stitchdori1@aol.com

    Like

  70. I am already in favor of Beary Potter, although you need to find some round glasses. I have an Anaconda (snake) named Anaconda Skywalker. Your whimsy has apparently rubbed off on me!
    Alas, I can’t dress him up because he’s a live snake.

    Liked by 1 person

  71. I totally thought you were going for a Ron Weasley thing here. Perhaps add a red wig to a weasel friend?

    Like

  72. You. Are. Too. Fucking. Funny.

    Like

  73. It’s June! This is the time to dress them wigs and rainbow flags! Happy pride!

    Like

  74. My husband says you should wrap him up in Ace bandages so he can be Clawed Raines.

    So……

    You’re welcome?

    Like

  75. 75
    Amber Biliouris

    I disagree. I think Aliens would want to ask why you do this lol

    Like

  76. 76
    Jenni Aryee

    You are the weirdest and most bizarre human and I mean this with so much positivity!! I read your book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and almost died of hyperventilating from laughter. My husband was annoyed that I was laughing at a book, he was just jealous. Anyway, thank you for being you.

    Like

  77. Huh. And here I thought he was holding his best friend, Ron Weasel-y.

    Like

  78. The Secret Life of Bees
    The Help
    Hour of the Bees
    Just A Drop of Hope

    Like

  79. Only somewhat related to this post, and I’d honestly be surprised if you weren’t already aware that this place exists…. but just in case (and because it just came through my fb feed): https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/mice-manor

    Like

  80. And now, Beary, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure!

    Like

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