Vergernia

One of my friends calls her vagina her snipper, and I love it because it’s cute but it also sounds vaguely threatening.   Also, “vergernia” is nice because it’s fun to say. Try it.  Say “vergernia”.  It’s awesome.

This isn’t a real post.  I just wanted wanted to share my vergernia.  Not literally though.

102 thoughts on “Vergernia

Read comments below or add one.

  1. It never occurred to me to name it. I remember seeing a cartoon as a kid with naked kids standing next to a bathtub. The boys were pointing at the girl saying something like: ‘Did you play with yours so much it fell off?’ Snipper is definitely aggressive sounding.

  2. My husband is halfway there. He calls it a vergina. Also, I knew a woman who called the vagina a “tutu,” which must have confused her kids if they took ballet.

  3. My first name is Virginia (after my grandmother). This sounds like something the kids in elementary school would say to pick on my name. Also, when I had to fill out the boxes for standardized tests, there were only enough boxes for me to fill in V-I-R-G-I-N 🙄 I definitely got picked on for that bullshit. Lol

  4. The names for my ladbits are many. Cootermatata, coochiemarie, Betty White, vajayjay, vajicky, etc.

  5. My late friend John Rodgers (Art Boy), used to refer to a vagina as a “Furginer” (fur-jeye-nur).
    Gosh, I miss him to this day.
    Previously, I had used the moniker “Clyde”, which is how my Aunt June referred to a vagina.
    I miss her too.
    Maybe I should start calling them Clyde Furginer out of respect. I think so.

  6. Now I’m wondering if it’s ver-ger-nia or verg-ern-ia or verrr-gerrr-n-eee-a… Obviously I’m in need of caffeine.

  7. I once saw part of an old porn movie where they referred to one woman’s vagina as a “the snapper”. It was kind of a surreal movie (don’t ask).

  8. Ive heard people refer to theirs a “cookie”, their “Va-jay-jay” and a “vag-a-roo”. 😂

  9. I had a lover name my bits Dolores (taken from the Seinfeld episode), Tatiyana & Areola. No idea what inspired any of that, but it is fun to send a text telling him Dolores says hi…

  10. I have a (72 yo) friend who calls her genitalia her ‘kebab’. Never ceases to amuse me. Jenni’s misread of ‘sniper’ made me spit out my drink.’
    What an awesome topic for today, just what I needed, thank you. 😂😂😂😂👍👍👍 now I ned to put some thought into naming mine..

  11. I have a friend whose Southern mama used to send the girls to the bath saying, “Don’t forget to wash your pocketbook.”

  12. When I read the title I thought Vergernia was a type of moss or flower or something… Wow. How wrong I was LOL 🙂

  13. My grandmother taught me to call it my “Highness”. As in, a man should always show respect for Your Highness!

  14. my daughter who is 5 calls it her vajayjay sometimes, but her saying vagina in her little tiny sweet voice is just adorable. I will attempt to teach her vergernia and see what happens then. Incidentally, i track my cycle in my bullet journal under the heading of shark week.

  15. I have a colleague, who is a gynecologist, and I kid you not, her name is Dr. Smagina.
    My cousin’s daughter calls her bottom her “backgina”
    I have a friend who can’t make herself say vagina, so I chase her around the neighborhood yelling “vagina, vagina, vagina!”
    I believe it is a feminist issue. I’m a doctor, too, and I’m not very mature. I see a lot of teenagers, boys and girls, and they all pretty consistently can say dick, cock, penis, balls, scrotum, testicals. But, they pretty consistently cringe at vagina, clitorus, labia (minora or majora) vulva, so I drop the words randomly into conversation. I tell them I have a whole list of body parts I’m going to desensitize them to, so they can say them proudly and without blushing or shame.
    V A G I N A

  16. You crack me up, Jenny! Thanks for making me smile. I like lady bits, and vajayjay, cause they’re funny. I mostly go in for saying vagina though, just because you don’t hear it, it’s like a dirty word, it’s ridiculous. I think vergernia could become a thing.

  17. An uncle years ago commented that a neighbor was wearing a ‘turtle skirt.’ When I asked what a turtle skirt was, he said when the wearer bends over, you can see her ‘snapper.’. 😂 That was a new one for me!

  18. Two to share! 1) My sister refers to her vagina as her “twinkie” (I have no idea). My favorite reference nickname for male genitalia was from a little boy who referred to his genitalia as his “tenders”. Ex. “My sister kicked me in the tenders Mom…ouch!”

  19. “Possible,” as in you wash up your legs as far as possible, then down your belly as far as possible, and then you wash Possible.

  20. When we first got together my husband made up a name for mine, which I realised later has the name of a candy at the beginning. We don’t share it with anyone else though, because we delight in using the name in public without anyone knowing what we’re talking about [e.g. “How is ______ feeling?”]. We also have food nicknames for various sex acts for the same reason [e.g. “I’m in the mood for some ____ later”].

  21. My 16- year old granddaughter is fond of telling me I live in Vagina. I just let her because I know Karma will intervene and one day she will live in this state, too. not with me. You hear me, universe?

  22. My aunt’s full name is Virginia Sue but everyone calls her Sue. Except my Mom who calls her Vagina Sue.

  23. My daughter used to call it her “jajina” when she was little. One day her preschool teacher was showing a potential family around the school and mentioned that she had recently been home to see family in Regina. My daughter loudly piped up, “I have a jajina!” and then back to doing her work 😆

  24. This post is the best as are all the comments!

    I am totally Elliot from the show “Scrubs.” I am awkwardly repressed. I can’t say medical terms for genitalia. I just….can’t.
    I call mine a water cave or a bajango. Tomato, tomatoooo.. let’s call the whole thing off!

  25. My extremely prudish mother called mine, my koli, with the accent on the “I”. Which later confused the hell out of me because other Greeks referred to their anuses as kolos.
    I still to this day have no idea what the correct names are for vagina and penis. My Greek language education is sadly forever insufficient.
    Incidentally, she wouldn’t tell me the English names either, so, once finding them out on my own from books when I was about 10 (!), I mispronounced them both in front of my class and was massively mocked. PEN-is and vAg-in-a. :-/

  26. One of my friends’ children always called it a, “HI- gina.” I always thought that sounded so friendly and neighborly. A HIgina would totally Bri g you baked goods or collect your mail for you if you were out of town…

  27. When I was little I thought it was called a Regina. I also had an Aunt Regina so I’m not really sure what I was thinking…

  28. I need to know the story behind that nickname. Does it have teeth or is there an Edward Scissorhands situation going on down there?

  29. I’m 70. Too old to give it a nickname now. I always called it “my Hoo-hoo”. I hear that a lot from other women.

  30. Have you ever seen that somewhat creepy “Proper Names” video from the 80s where a weird guy with a guitar singing about the proper names of body parts? Because that’s what I think of every time somebody says “Oh I call my penis/vag (insert name here).” It’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever personally seen.

  31. Replying to @51- LOL! In college, one of the University Health Center gynecologists was named “Dr. Drips”; of course that’s who I chose.

  32. I learned today that the pain during ovulation is called Mittelschmerz. I love the thought of yelling OW MY MITTELSCHMERZ

  33. In Ireland, if your ladygarden is seriously unkempt, it is referred to as a “growler”.

    My Puerto Rican friend and her Mom called it a “chocha”, and most of the black folks I’ve known have called it a “coochie”.

    The first time I ever heard a woman use the word “cooter” was at a fetishwear fashion show at a lesbian bar; this one classic oldschool butch kept yelling “SHOW ME YOUR COOTER!”

    Back when I was a kid, my weird hippie uncle told me “they call it a pussy because you’re supposed to stroke it and pet it and make it purr, or it’ll BITE YOU.”

    When I was really little and my Mom taught me to say “vagina” for my bits, I misunderstood her and said “BAgina”. (Little Kid Me, big smile) “Boys got a PEE-NESS and girls got a BAGINA!” I still call it that, though an ex of mine years ago insisted on calling her Consuelo (shrugs).

    Your Pal,

    Storm the Klingon

  34. @ReaderRita (#25) I just realized that you’re probably talking about the 70’s porn version of “Cinderella”, starring the lovely and tragic Rainbeaux Smith, and Sy Richardson (“Lite” from “Repo Man”!) as her Fairy Godfather. Instead of a glass slipper, the Prince had to bone down on every woman in the kingdom, until he found That Special One again. The Fairy Godfather took great delight in referring to her as having “The Snappa!” Back when porn was fun, instead of gross (What’s with all the spitting?! And when did anal become mandatory and unavoidable?!)

    Back in the late 90’s there was an Irish film called “The Snapper”; was I ever confused to see that it starred Colm “Mr. O’Brien from Star Trek” Meaney, and relieved to discover that “snapper” was slang for “baby”.

    Still Your Pal,

    Storm the Klingon

  35. I call mine and really any ladies a PEEPER 😂. AND I’m RN 😝. If it’s little girl I call it tee tee and too too for hiney 😆

  36. Oh, one more thing, who in Gods name would call a Ladies tee tee 😂 a MOOSE! GROOOOOOSSSS!

  37. @StormTheKlingon (#s 94 & 95) do YOU have a blog? A page? Because I snorted and giggled reading your posts and I need more of that hilarity in my life!

  38. When I was a teenager, I named mine Princess Fifi, after my best friend’s cat… Who turned out to be a boy. The monarch later abdicated her throne and assumed the code name Fifi la Femme. Her neighbor and bff is ButTina, or just Tina. Those are my Southern girls. The Yankees are Mitzie and Bitzie, but sometimes Plumpy and Stumpy.

    I thought I was fairly unique in naming all manner of parts, things, etc. Then I read the Charley Davidson novels and discovered that I was merely an amateur. Oddly enough, her’s is Virginia, too. Her northern ladies have the best names ever, though: Danger and Will Robinson.

  39. Have you been to Viva Vegeria? I get that we’re in San Antonio so should pronounce it with the accent on the “i”, but I prefer to pronounce it like it’s a disease.
    4.5 stars on Yelp! Viva!

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