A new writer asked me yesterday how I deal with negative reviews and the answer is that I don’t deal with them. I let other people I love check that shit out and they tell me if it’s something I should take to heart or not. Sometimes feedback can be really helpful but often it just fucks with your head so it’s good to have someone who isn’t you look at it objectively so you don’t have that shit in your head forever. The thing I’ve learned that is the most helpful is this:
I’M NOT FOR EVERYONE.
And that’s actually great because if I was for everyone then I’d be so bland and pointless that no one ever would say, “OMG ME TOO! I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY WEIRDO.”
You are totally not the only weirdo. Welcome home.
Whenever I start to doubt that someone rejecting me isn’t necessarily a reflection on me as a person I remind myself that there are amazing, brilliant things that are so important that people base their lives around them but that I personally do not get the appeal of at all. It’s not that I’m better than those people and honestly I wish I loved a lot of stuff that I don’t because I know I’m missing out, but we are all unique and that is what makes it so magical when we find the things make our hearts sing.
So, right now, I want you to share at least one thing that everyone else in the world seems to love but that you could totally do without for the rest of your life. And remember that even though you don’t like it, it doesn’t mean those things aren’t important. That goes for you too. Not everyone is going to like you. But so many people are going to love you.
I’ll go first.
Things I could live without forever that the rest of the world loves:
Tolkien. Oreos. Steely Dan. Cherry popsicles. Sweaters.
PS. Later this week we’ll look at things you love that no one else seems to appreciate so start thinking about that too.