Butthole sunbathing

me:  On Instagram I’ve been seeing these people doing “perineum sunbathing“.  It’s  literally tanning your butthole.  Supposedly 30 seconds of sunlight in your butthole is equivalent to a full day’s worth of sun so allegedly you supercharge yourself.  Through your butthole.  And this seems ridiculous for a lot of reasons but mostly it just seems illogical because the dog is sunning her butthole all damn day and she’s…well actually she is sort of supercharged and has way too much energy, but I’m pretty sure that’s not from a solar super power coming from her butthole.

Victor:  …Huh.

me:  I’m sorry what was your question?

Victor:  How was your day?

me:  Oh right.  It was fine.

118 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Sawbones Podcast did an episode about this that was genuinely hilarious. It looks like it’s just one person who originated the trend for no reason. Amazing.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. i refuse to click on “perineum sunbathing”. Just going to leave that alone.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Heard this on one of my podcasts the other night… probably CBC’s Quirks & Quarks. Utter bunk.

    Like

  4. Can you imagine the sun burn?

    Liked by 4 people

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted The Battle of Fredericksburg as my ancestor saw it.

  5. I think it’s a way to combine yoga with sunbathing – therefore, something I will never experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lmao!! My cats sunbathe their booties all day and they seem corpse-like.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Maybe that is what the cat in your calendar is doing???

    Like

  8. Sometimes I worry about other people on the Internet. Not you, Jenny. Other people. Like literally anyone who would genuinely think perineum sunbathing is A) an actual thing or 2) a solar battery charger. So very worried.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I’ve heard it said that some people think the sun shines out of their butt. Maybe this is the reason?

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Interesting. Practically speaking if one sunbathes their perineum or arse hole (albeit 30 secs or a cpl min is probably nominal) regularly, you’d need to tell your dermatologist and add it to the annual or semi annual skin check list (ppl who have had a lot of sun…its a good idea). It might be a new experience for the dermatologist! Lol. It would mean an annual butthole [area] exam. I think I’ll skip the potential *sshole supercharge opportunity.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. There is a good reason for the saying “where the sun don’t shine.” Take heed,…

    Liked by 4 people

  12. I guess if people were to do it in their front yards it’d be a good way to keep porch pirates away, so there’s that?

    Liked by 3 people

    romcomdojo recently posted Calm Down, You Hysterical Woman.

  13. That is a big WTF if ever there was one!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I appreciate that Josh Brolin straight up admitted to joining the herd on this trend and burnt his pucker. That is just a world i never want to consider…frankly i put this on the list of trending practical jokes that only a few of us are in on early;) *common sense rules
    XOXOXOXStacy

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Note to self: Do NOT read Jenny’s blog posts during video calls.

    Liked by 5 people

  16. 16
    CAROL A TAYLOR

    Between you and my grandchildren, this old lady is able to stay current with the trends. I wonder if sunlight shrinks hemorrhoids?

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Take heed of the saying “where the sun don’t shine”…

    Like

  18. Where will one tell others to stick things if the sun is allowed to shine there?

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I just cracked myself up.

    Not able to fall asleep, trying to bore my brain, I had been playing the has/hasn’t game. It’s sort of my version of counting sheep.
    So, has traveled out of the country, hasn’t traveled out of the country. Has choked on their own spit, hasn’t choked on their own spit. Has ever touched a monkey, hasn’t ever touched a monkey…
    Extra points for most outlandish, or most mundane… has brushed their teeth, hasn’t brushed their teeth, ever.
    Anyway, it’s a silly distraction game. And I decided maybe one last pee was in order. Hubz has been getting ready to go to the range tomorrow, and has all his shooting paraphernalia out, making the path to the bathroom kinda narrow. So I’m sitting there on the toilet, peeing, still silently running has/hasn’t in the background.
    Hubz comes in for a glass of water, says, “I’ve got 3 more Yodas done and ready to be cracked.” Then takes his water and promptly trips right over his own junk he himself left out and just stepped nimbly over one minute before. And my not totally awake brain went, “HAS tripped over a rifle bag, HASN’T tripped over a rifle bag.” And I laughed out loud… not at the tripping, but that my brain just flowed right into what was happening. Which got me a ‘Wow, thanks Babe.” And then I tried to explain the above ramblings of a very sleepy woman, which got ME laughed at.

    Anyway, the brain is a weird place. Goodnight!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Arseholes.

    Like

    Sherry Cassells recently posted About this morning….

  21. So, in a few words, these people are butt-chugging Vitamin D?

    Like

  22. Haha, never about butthole sunbathing but I totally launch into random conversations at innocuous questions like this. Thank you once again Jenny!

    Like

    Juan recently posted A Light in The Darkness: A Dark Tales Project Podcast.

  23. Just FYI, the colloquial word for perineum is “taint.” Technically, they are sunning their taints, which is just about as funny as sunning their buttholes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Janet Coburn recently posted Presents for Hubby.

  24. Yes, I did with my husband who passed away 2 yrs. ago. Sometimes these convos come up with my daughter and Mum. My sister refuses to take part if our Mum is involved. LOL
    Sandy/Wynterose

    Like

  25. I read about that too and I call bullshit.🤣

    Like

  26. I read that and I call bullshit! 🤣

    Like

  27. And I’d bet some of these folks have also partaken of the fad of bleaching their assholes . . These things can only happen when people have way too much time on their hands.

    Like

  28. 28
    brooke Hansen

    I want to meet the first person who tried this and just ask , “….but why?”

    Like

  29. Am I the only one hearing Sound Garden’s “Black Hole Sun” with slightly altered lyrics in my head?? How do you decide what spf you’d need?

    Liked by 5 people

    knockingonfortysdoor recently posted Hal, Mavis, and An Unnamed Peacock.

  30. Well, I’m at work, having read Jenny’s convo, then all the comments, dying laughing and just blew coffee through the nose and directly on invoices…think I’ll send them that way and make the other guy wonder what the hell happened. Still, not going to shine my arse to the sun.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Like they said on Sesame Street when we were kids, “Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away.”

    Like

  32. I would love to be a fly on your wall and hear your conversations with your family first hand, they always crack me up! Merry Christmas

    Like

  33. SO is who ha sunbathing a thing as well? I would think that would be more super charging than the backside.

    Like

  34. I remember when vagina sunbathing was all the rage. I guess this new fad is for all genders.

    Like

  35. I used to have these weird discussions with my sister, and we’d go off on wild tangents as the topics got farther and farther into the weirdoverse. I miss her for many reasons, but this is a special one, because there’s nobody else who I can talk to who can take it to such entertaining extremes.

    Like

  36. I just really wish I had either the cojones or the charisma to invent health practices that cause people to do things like tan their anuses. Not for good or evil, just for chaos.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Josh Brolin sunburned his pooper, so be careful out there.

    Like

  38. So much for telling people to stick it where the sun don’t shine, huh?

    Liked by 1 person

  39. This reminds me of coffee enemas. No thanks.

    Like

    Mamacita recently posted God Has A Sick Sense of Humor.

  40. Is this supposed to be done before or after vaginal steaming? And if thirty seconds is good, what happens after thirty minutes, other than giving your neighbors an enhanced opportunity to take out their phones and literally make your ass go viral online?

    Liked by 1 person

    Lille recently posted to my dear choir invincible.

  41. As a gastroenterologist I once worked with stated back in the ’90’s, “We can make the sun shine there!”

    Like

  42. How is it that you recorded the conversation in the car between me and Dan?

    Like

  43. 44
    angelique2710

    OMGawd!!! I just spit coffee out of my nose. Hahaha. So happy I found this blog!

    Like

  44. On another note – I can’t wait to see your google search stats after this post.

    Like

  45. Laughing my ass off!

    Liked by 1 person

    recently posted Grateful, Thankful, Blessed.

  46. 47
    StacieinAtlanta

    Taint worth it!

    Liked by 2 people

  47. Someone told me the other day that there is such a thing as Gin Hot Toddies that work better than Rum Hot Toddies when you’re sick. I was confused because my Father always said that Gin was ‘Panty Remover’ and I thought that Gin Hot Toddies would encourage sick people to remove their panties. And now I’m starting to wonder if this is one big conspiracy by Gin Distillers to get people to expose themselves and feel good about doing it. And, I suppose, if there is sun shining from your butthole as you stagger home, drunk from the Gin, at least you can see in the dark which could be construed as a Public Service.

    Well played, Gin Distillers!

    Liked by 2 people

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Call the Paramedics! Again!.

  48. LMAO in a very posh coffee shop, people are looking, a couple have asked “what’s so funny” & I just hand them the phone! You have a couple new fans, as long as they spell “Bloggess” right! Love you bunches! Happy Holidays!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  49. epitome of DUMBASS

    Like

  50. so a days worth of sun in a few minutes — and all I can think is, “So how are you going to explain the skin cancer growths there?

    Like

  51. So, I’m going to a dinner party tonight, a nd once again you have provided me with something to chitchat about. I may not get invited back.

    Like

  52. I think this falls into the category of exciting new health/fitness routines such as cross country snow boarding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w7sVSMbjyM

    Like

  53. So for those in not so sunny areas, would they need to start taking their Vitamin D supplements as suppositories to get the same benefits? 🤷🏼‍♀️

    Like

  54. Please, everyone knows the sun shines right out of my ass. YOU ARE WELCOME, EVERYONE.

    Like

    Shannon akaMonty recently posted #33581 Why I Hate People and How My Rants Are Likely Your Fault..

  55. A new way to bleach your anus

    Like

    Gary recently posted Nood Bog also known as noodle bolognese.

  56. Whoa there, your instagram feed is VERY different to mine! I’ve got wildlife photos and vintage movies and you’ve got WTF!

    Like

  57. My husband was telling me about this. Mostly so he could tell me about how badly people burned their junk.

    Like

  58. I feel like boofing the D is only going to result in an uptick of butt cancer in the near future.

    Liked by 1 person

  59. I enjoy sunbathing. This would take all the relaxation and enjoyment out of it for me.

    Like

    Ernie @ nosmallfeetblog.com recently posted where is his leg? & envelopes are done.

  60. starts vitamin D suppository Internet business

    Like

  61. I don’t know why this reminds me of the episode of 101 ways to die when an alcoholic who had a tube so she was not able to eat or drink wanted alcohol so bad she gave herself an enema with alcohol and died from alcohol poisoning.

    Like

  62. Here’s Josh Brolin’s take on it, per Instagram.

    “Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did.

    “My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.

    “I don’t know who the fuck thought of this stupid shit but fuck you nonetheless. Seriously.”

    Liked by 1 person

  63. How are you supposed to tell someone to “stick it where the sun don’t shine” to these people?

    Like

  64. Thank you again!!!😂

    Like

  65. Um. WHAT. How? Why? I have been reduced to single syllables by the vast weirdness of that concept…

    Like

  66. How did I know that you would not stay quiet on perineum sunning? This is right up your alley so to speak.

    Like

  67. 68
    LeeAnn Barnard

    Nope nope nope. Not even. Not ever.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Who comes up with this shit?

    Oh right…Gwyneth Paltrow and the nutbag brigade.

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted I will not be shamed for not even lifting, brah.

  69. 70
    Robin Valentine

    I posted it on my FB and my family had a lively conversation about it… teary eyed laughter and some suggestions of offering perineum tanning and taint paint all in one convention store front. In short, no, you are not the only one talking about this 🙂

    Like

  70. It sounds like something someone convinced their gullible friend into doing. The friend pulling the prank told everyone. Then the gullible friend felt really stupid. So they lied to a bunch of people and said it worked. Then all those people said “well… might as well try…” and it just spiralled out of control and everyone keeps lying.

    Like

  71. 73
    Joan Rowlands

    For some reason I read this first as “penguin sunbathing” – it’s obviously way too early for my brain today!

    Like

  72. Still not worse than urine therapy.

    Like

  73. 75
    Heather Fairfield

    My kid and I have been laughing ourselves sick about this for weeks now. You just KNOW Gwyneth Paltrow is behind this trend somehow. 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  74. Just imagine the superpowers you would have if you got bit on the butthole by a radioactive spider while sunning it?

    Like

    Arionis recently posted Just As Good As A Real One.

  75. what a weird world we live in. thanks for always enlightening me.

    Like

  76. 78
    eleventhpercent

    The whole thing cracks me up. Granted, back in the day, sunlamps were used to encourage perineal healing for postpartum mamas, and sometimes grandmas ask why we don’t do that anymore. “It felt really good!” I’m sure it probably did, but… Yeah. No. Thanks from OB nurses everywhere.

    Like

  77. You know, Astro-Boy had his power recharge plug literally built into his butthole, and the Japanese would never lie to me, so…

    Like

  78. I must be niave,but I’m at a loss as to HOW( I do not even want to either!🙀 ) you do this. I will get my sunlight the boring way thank you.

    Like

  79. This was dreamed up in L.A. by a paparazzo with a drone/camera that is behind on his
    child support. That’s probably a jaded view but unfortunately it’s likely close to the truth.

    Like

  80. Vicious rumor engineered by a very specific group of fetishists into butts in the sun because they just acquired a high resolution drone fleet.

    Like

  81. Please don’t sunbathe your peritinium, steam your vagina, or put a jade egg in your lady garden.

    Like

  82. Lololololol,,, catch my breath… Lololololololol… Phew… Wipe my eyes…. Man, my sides hurt.

    Liked by 1 person

  83. Remember when stupid shit like this only went so far, before common sense prevailed and the notion that that supposed medical miracle was a good thing was thoroughly kicked to the curb, with only a few victims? Can we go back to that, because this viral internet bullshit is getting on my damn nerves!

    Also, DON’T SUN YOUR ASSHOLE! BAD JUJU AND SERIOUS OUCHIES!

    Like

  84. hahahahahahahaha! frrrp.

    Like

  85. I have a therapy light for my depression, will it work if I just sit on it?

    Like

  86. But you’re supposed to stick it where the sun DONT shine….so

    Liked by 1 person

  87. 89
    Fan in Vermont

    So… yes, this is odd.
    But what I find myself confounded by is this… how, Jenny, do you even have time to know tabout butt-hole sunning? You are renovating a soon-to-be bookstore. You are homeschooling your awesome daughter. You are managing a huge gift-giving campaign for people in need. I am hoping that you secretly have some support staff helping you out. Because the only other way I can imagine anyone doing all this is by using a lot of cocaine. And I really don’t want you to be doing cocaine, it just isn’t good for you.

    (My sister helps me a lot. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

    Like

  88. 90
    muchadoabouteverything

    I’m not sure I needed this post. Lol.  BTW I’m so excited for you and all you have coming up in 2020. You’re amazing. Inside and out.  I’m sure I’m one of hundreds (thousands?) who have a crush. I think I need and autographed picture of you for our living room wall. lol. 

    Like

  89. I don’t sunbathe the rest of my body much less my butthole. Although my butthole is probably the most swimsuit ready part of my body. For some reason this reminds me… Have you listened to the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno? My cupcake lady’s husband told me about it. It is so joyful and awful but hysterical. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2019/12/13/if-a-black-cat-crosses-your-path-hug-it/

    (Love it! ~ Jenny)

    Like

  90. Where were the publicists/handlers for these celebrities who publicly admitted that they tried this thing and it was, predictably (to those of us with a few working brain cells), a catastrophe? Or do they truly believe that all publicity is good publicity? Sheesh.

    And Jenny, I didn’t discuss this method of sunbathing with any significant other but I DID very much discuss it with my BFF, at length, if that makes you feel any better 🙂

    Like

  91. 94
    ocularnervosa

    My cat solar charges her butthole all day and….it’s not working.

    Liked by 1 person

  92. Beavis and Butthead would have a field day with this one.

    Like

  93. 96
    Jennifer Whelan

    Honestly? I live in Maine, so maybe doing this for a minute on that first really nice day of spring/summer might be magical….at least until the black flies swarm, that is.

    Like

  94. Just got my Nowhere long sleeved shirt and Love It! It’s so comfortable and true to size. The logo is the best! I bought one for my friend who lives in Baytown and is an avid reader. I old her to tell anyone who recognizes the shirt that her friend in Ohio sent it. I also got a shirt for my granddaughter who lives in Columbus. Maybe when you get set up to sell books, you could put the shop”s website on the back. I’m sure I’m not the only one far from Texas who loves your blog is excited about your store.

    Like

  95. There are some things even bleach cannot erase from the mind…..

    Liked by 1 person

  96. 99
    Patricia Laden

    Start a vit D regimen

    Like

  97. 100
    Patricia Laden

    Start a vit D regimen wouldn’t you think

    Like

  98. 101
    Heather Feather

    OMG! Thank you for making me laugh and helping me to forget the part of next week where we all deal with relatives that we don’t usually see and all the conflicting needs, neuroses, and nuttiness that come with the holidays and our relatives. This is just what I needed to change the conversation when things get heated up. “Everybody listen up…….and discuss.” Ha!

    Like

  99. I wonder if it would work just as well toasting your taint with a Happy Light in the privacy of your own home.

    Like

  100. Sun’s out! Buns out! And my sister and I die laughing over and over and over.

    Like

  101. 104
    Susan McMillan

    I am always AMAZED at the things people with too much money (and too much time on their hands) do. Here I am, just wanting to have a month where I don’t have to choose what NOT to pay so I can feed my kids, lol.

    Like

  102. 105
    Susan McMillan

    Also Jenny- taint right. Taint right at all.

    Like

  103. Note to self…. caution when looking on Jenny’s site when you have sprained neck and shoulder. Laughing hurts…but so worth it !

    Like

  104. 107
    Storm the Klingon

    There’s an ad on TV for a prescription med (can’t remember the name) that’s for folks who are managing both diabetes and heart disease. It shows a lady about our age, in a bright green blazer, leading a marching band. When it got to the quickly and quietly spoken list of possible side effects, the narrator said that one that was very rare but should be watched out for is “a potentially life-threatening infection of the perineum”. Wait, no way, what did she say? (hits the WTF button the the remote) Yup, I’m not just stoned, it even says in teeny letters at the bottom that “the perineum is the area between the genitals and anus”. Huh? Wuh? Zuh? It manages your blood issues, but can KILL you with a strangely specific infection of your TAINT?!

    It’s a crazy ol’ world… somebody oughta sell tickets…

    Your Pal,

    Storm the Klingon

    Like

  105. I eat way too many tacos for this to not be a public nuisance if I tried to sunbathe my butthole.

    Like

    Rob R recently posted You Want The Best Green Tea Extract? Here It Is.

  106. Off-Topic but I FINALLY am reading ‘Furiously Happy’ and Jenny you are my spirit animal. I am loving every page and recommending it to any and everyone I know. I just had to letcha know.

    Like

  107. 110
    Mary Catalfamo

    I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that I probably shouldn’t have clicked that link on my work computer. Ah well – they already know I’m more-than-a-little crazy and this just adds to the already-long list!

    Like

  108. You should immediately read the linked article about the vaginal-weightlifting woman arguing with the online doctor. Let me just leave you with this:

    “She spent the better part of a decade inserting decorative lamps into her vagina at various global hotspots and shouting at the void.”

    Like

  109. 112
    Amber Biliouris

    I would be too afraid of getting my butthole sunburned. :-X

    Like

  110. 113
    Storm the Klingon

    @lurbyjo: You’ve inspired me. I’m putting it in my will that I want that in my obituary, or on my tombstone. Fuck it, I’ll do both, where do I sign?

    Your Pal,

    Storm the Klingon

    Like

  111. 114
    Patricia Laden

    No butt hole tanning for me !! Lol

    Like

  112. “A Bum In The Sun”, sounds like an interesting read, until you realise it’s not about people sponging off society in warm places but about tanning your arse. Of course a subject like that could have different meanings too…

    Like

    Tony Payne recently posted Blogging Is Harder Than It Used To Be.

  113. Sweet mother of God.

    Like

  114. Our instagram algorithms are veeeery different and I can’t decide whether or not this upsets me.

    Like

  115. Egyptian sun god Ra, sipping his coffee as he watches this bullshit: They used to build statues of me….

    Meanwhile Apollo is just….yeah no, can’t finish that thought, it’s too damn weird….

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.