Happy birthday to us all!

Hello and happy birthday to us!

If you too are born in the perineum of no man’s land that stretches from Christmas to New Years I salute you and recognize your struggle.  But today is going to be different because today is now your birthday too and if you are reading this my birthday wish is for you to do something really lovely for yourself or someone else today.

Go out for pie, watch your favorite movie, buy that thing you’ve been thinking about, take a lovely long bath, bring donuts to a friend and re-watch your favorite movie, go snuggle animals at the shelter, rob a bank, go to the park, whatever makes you happy.

And then when someone says “Why are you doing all this nice stuff for yourself” you can say, “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE.  I DESERVE IT.”  Or you can just say, “It’s a birthday gift…because I’m a good friend“.

Happy birthday, us!

PS.  Unrelated but fun:

109 replies. read them below or add one

  1. It’s my birthday, too! I’m reading in bed, and then I’m going to write a bunch because I like it, and then I’m going to eat Indian food like I need pakora to survive. Happy birthday to you ❤️❤️❤️

  2. My birthday is Dec 30 and it was not a good experience growing up (jacket for Christmas, pants for my birthday). Now that I have converted to Judaism, it’s a lot less annoying; I know that doesn’t help people who don’t want to convert. Happy birthday to you and all who dwell in the taint of the year…

  3. For my birthday on Saturday (27th), we went to see the 3:30 pm screening of Star Wars at the theatre with the reclining easy chairs, and then picked up a pizza so I could drink wine at home and it was LOVELY. Happy birthday, fellow late December Capricorns!!

  4. Tomorrow is my actual birthday, but I’ve been celebrating it for a week or so now. 😉

  5. Happy birthday to us,too – mine’s approaching on Wednesday. Hoping I’m over this head cold in time to enjoy it.

  6. My sister was born on Thanksgiving, and every seven years or falls on that day. She has had so many birthday pies and delayed parties as a kid.

  7. A very merry unbirthday to me! (and the rest of you who is not J-Law) <3
    Unbirthdays deserve gifts too!

    Shannon akaMonty recently posted Liars liars liars yeah, they're gonna getchoo.

  8. 8
    Alicia Lane Sheppard

    It’s my birthday to day too! Happy Birthday fellow Capricorn’s!

  9. mine is tommorrow.

  10. It’s my birthday today too! Happy birthday to all my fellow Capricorn’s ❤️❤️❤️

  11. Today we give! No really I have to go give my nieces and nephews Christmas crap. Everyone had the flu so we are a bit behind. Happy birthday!

  12. Happy birthday! (Mine is tomorrow.) I’d never thought of my birthday as being part of Christmas’s chode. So, thanks for that.
    Happy birthday to me, indeed.

  13. December 27th Birthday girl at home in OC w Bronchitis. 🎉🥳 Once I survive this- I will celebrate on the 27th of Every month in 2020!! Happy birthday Jenny!! 🎂🎁

  14. My birthday was yesterday. The big 4-0. I usually celebrate all month because having a birthday between Christmas and New Years just sucks. Happy Birthday fellow Capis, and those of you treating yo self along with us ❤️

  15. I was born on New Year’s Day.

    E

  16. I will forward this to my daughter, Courtney! Her birthday was yesterday.
    Happy Birthday to all and to all, ANOTHER PARTY DAY!

    susielindau recently posted The Christmas Card Reveal and Winners!.

  17. Happy birthday Jenny and family. Have a great celebration.

    Gary recently posted Baked salmon, Hollandaise sauce, and red cabbage slaw.

  18. Holiday birthdays are tough no matter where in the order they fall and I think everyone with them should be able to celebrate six months after the date. My grandmother’s was on the 13th and my mom’s was on the 22nd. We always made sure to celebrate separately from the holidays.

    Mine technically is not during the holidays, but is on January 2 which is horrible timing. People have gone through all of the hoopla from Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day. They’re tired, broke, and it’s also the day everyone usually has to go back to work and school. Blef!

    Happy birthday to us all despite the timing!

  19. My birthday too! I’m still in my jammies and had cookies for breakfast. Happy birthday to us all!

  20. Can I claim it even though mine isn’t until February? 🙂 Happy birthday to y’all!!

    Dissicle recently posted One of Those Days.

  21. My birthday was on XMAS day. Hubby and I took our youngest 2 of our 4 girls out to see Frozen 2, then they treated me to sushi. The rest of the evening consisted of wine and blurays. Had a BLAST! My entire life, I spent my birthday (yes, every XMAS) with my ginormous family. Kept it simple and did something for Mommy (me) this year instead, lol.

    (^ – ^)*

  22. So this is the best thing ever. My birthday is the day after Christmas, and the day was ruined by a pretty awful family member. This gives me a lot of strength reading, thank you! ROUND TWO OF MY BIRTHDAY HERE WE COME!!!

  23. My birthday was yesterday. I had a birthday lunch with the family and spent the rest of the day with the cats on the couch finishing a book (The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal). It was glorious! Happy birthday to us!

  24. Which end is Christmas and which is New Years?

  25. Christmas Day is MY birthday. Always good cheer and a celebration, right?! Our son, however, was born on the 27th. Poor guy! Happy birthday to all of us!

  26. Mine is December 31, skipped or forgotten many times. Happy Birthday to me and all who share the date

  27. Today is my birthday too and I am going to take a nap…BECAUSE I FREAKING DESERVE IT! Happy birthday to you, too!

  28. My actual birthday is the 3rd. So not quite in the bracket, but close enough I never get things for my birthday because everyone was still broke from the holidays/ to holiday’d out to want to do anything.

  29. Birthdays are mostly bullshit. We should be buying presents for our mothers who had to push a whole person out of a small pelvic opening… That said, any day is a good day to spoil yourself — as long as it’s not everyday. That would make you a selfish twit… or a Trump.

  30. My birthday is Jan 7th and it’s equally as awful. I always got “sorry, no gift, we spent all of our money on Christmas. But hope you have a great day.” Not that it’s about “stuff,” of course. But as a kid it’s nice to have something to open.

    FWIW, my mom was due on Christmas Day, and was born the 27th. Because it is, well, yes, what it is to have a birthday then, she swore she’d never have kids with Holiday birthdays. And also, because the my mom and the Universe have the relationship they do, my brother was born on Good Friday, I was Due on Christmas Eve and born Jan 7th (close enough. Trust me) and my sister was born Thanksgiving morning. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  31. Happy birthday to you! Celebrating you and all of your awesomeness in my corner of the world!

    knockingonfortysdoor recently posted Hal, Mavis, and An Unnamed Peacock.

  32. I was due on Christmas — but I came out early on the 8th, which ruined my mother’s plans of baking cookies that day. 😉 My best friend growing up was also due on Christmas the same year (our moms were friends), but unfortunately didn’t make her appearance until January 1st. I always felt sorry for her…but I also got cheated because people would give me a gift with the remark that “this is for your birthday and Christmas” . All I wanted to say back was, ‘And I’ll remember that when your birthday rolls around, you #*@& cheapskate!’. Whew, that made me feel so much better!! Love you, Jenny, and the whole community that exists here!! Happy 2020!!

  33. 33
    Kristi Knebel

    It’s my 50th birthday TODAY! I’ll carefully balance Fuck you and super sweet stuff.

  34. Happy birthday!

  35. My birthday was the 23rd, so I whole-heartedly approve of this message!
    Have a wonderful birthday ♡

  36. My 40th birthday is New Year’s Day 2020! Im so excited this year. I’m hosting a murder mystery dinner on NYE!! My thing I did for myself is to take off work the next two days!

  37. Lol I’ve been talking myself out of shopping but since it’s now my birthday I’m going shopping yay. Happy birthday you all

  38. I’m not one to celebrate much for my birthday, but my sister’s birthday fell on Mother’s Day, or close enough that she never wanted to celebrate her birthday away, since she’d miss Mother’s Day (we are celebrate-on-the-closest-weekend-to-your-birthday people). It was a drag. When I found out that my first born was going to be born on or near my birthday, I decided that I would celebrate my half birthday from the moment she was born. Fortunately, she was born much later than expected, so it’s not an issue. My youngest was born the day after Veteran’s Day. Aside from having a three day weekend, sometimes, it’s a terrible day. Everyone is out of town for the long weekend. My husband is born 11/27, which is sometimes Thanksgiving, or close enough to be an issue. We work around it, but still….Happy birthday to all!

  39. My birthday is January 2. Just ‘cause it isn’t between Christmas and New Years doesn’t make it a picnic. Everyone is one day into their resolution to get fit and healthy and no one wants to go out or have cake because they’v basically been eating nonstop since Thanksgiving. My own father used to jokingly give me crap about my birthday because he couldn’t write me off his taxes for the previous year. He’s got dementia now so I don’t hear it any more.
    Anyway, I have adopted July 4 as my half-birthday. The weather is warm, there’s a lot of daylight and who doesn’t love fireworks? That said, for my birthday, I am buying myself a weekend taking an class from an artist instructor whose work I love.

  40. My birthday isn’t today,it’s actually next month,but my sister’s was 8 days after mine. We usually had to share a party. Happy Unbirthday to us all and to those whose birthday it is,Make it as AWESOME AS YOU ALL ARE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎉🎂🎈🎈🎉🎉🎉 Especially out Fearless leader JENNY!

  41. Happy birthday to all of December’s perineum babies!

    When I saw your book on “You” I shouted out with joy! Sweet slice of nice for you!!

  42. Happy birthday to all of December’s perineum babies!
    When I saw your book on “You” I shouted out with joy! Sweet slice of nice for you!!

  43. Happy birthday!

    I think I’ll treat my husband to something totally delicious today with my Starbucks gift card!

    And my SIL gave me a Nowhere Bookshop tote and coffee mug. I was stunned at how beautiful the mug is! So my return gift for her is the book club!

    becomingcliche recently posted Who Needs Coffee When You Can Sun Your Bum?.

  44. I’m 50 tomorrow. I like the perinium
    reference although, as a Jew, it’s not my place to comment on which holiday is equivalent to which body part.

    Happy birthday to us!!!

  45. My birthday was on the 26th. I went to see Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Happy Birthday all.

  46. 46
    Jesse Davidson

    Happy shitty terrible birthday to us! as I got older (9) I’d just not tell people it was my birthday and invite a couple of friends over for dinner and a movie, my mom would bring out the cake and everyone was surprised.

  47. It’s my birthday toooooo and I want to read, nap, and do nothing!

  48. Happy Birthday Jenny! My granddaughter Willow will be 3 tomorrow. Chucky Cheese but I’m going. Much love to you all! 💜

  49. Birthday was yesterday. Decided it was a good day to update my wardrobe. 🙂

  50. Mine was yesterday! Breakfast in bed…. finished reading a novel…watched movies with my kids… didn’t do the dishes… it was lovely ☺️

  51. I just signed up to be a rematch Santa for all of the Redditgifts holiday exchanges. Here’s to spreading joy and helping others and feeling good! Happy birthday, Jenny!

    Chrissy Woj recently posted Stocking stuffers under $25.

  52. My husband’s birthday is the 30th. We are in Prague with thousands of other tourists drinking mulled wine and eating all manner of pork. My Birthday is in 2 weeks. I am choosing to celebrate somewhere much more tropical with rum drinks! Happy Birthday to all my fellow Capricorns.

  53. December 28 birthday here. I think I was lucky because my mom always made my birthday completely separate from Christmas, no Christmas wrapping paper, no combo Christmas/birthday gifts. And I always got to have a sleepover for my birthday.

  54. 54
    Sarah KnitsandThinks

    It is my birthday today too–happy birthday to us! I slept in until 12:45, badly needed after five fun but exhausting days with my little nieces and other family. Later I’m going out to the local Spanish restaurant for all the tapas I can eat. 🙂

  55. Happiest of Birthdays Jenny, and all who share the dreaded Christmas week birthdays!

  56. 56
    AJ-the-short-one

    Truly happy birthday to Jenny and all celebrating their Natal Anniversary! There sure are lots of you! My youngest daughter’s is Jan 6th and I always felt bad that she kinda got the shaft growing up…but I tried to make her day special and separate from the other holidays. This year, because it’s been that kind of year, we haven’t even gotten together to do Christmas yet, so it didn’t work out that way. We will be lumping everything together on the 11th, the soonest we can all gather. It isn’t when, it’s who that is important and it will be a fabulous blowout.

  57. Yesterday was my birthday and I did almost everything on your list … except rob a bank … #LifeGoals It was glorious! Happy birthday! xoxo

  58. Happy Happy Birthday, Jenny! 🙂

  59. Mine’s a week after New Years. Still in the area of Too close to Christmas

  60. It’s our anniversary and we went out for kid free lunch since we’re visiting the in-laws who could babysit. So I had a great big pork belly banh mi and a glass of Prosecco for your birthday. My poor two year old has a December 26 birthday. She doesn’t mind now but I know she’ll hate it later.

  61. Thank you. New year’s eve is not an easy birthday for an introvert.

  62. It’s my birthday too! Slept in, lots of snuggles and watching movies all day in PJs. Best day!

  63. Does Jan 4th count? It’s after New Years, but you still have that holiday hangover sort of feeling…and it’s still close enough for people to combine your Christmas and birthday gift

  64. My son’s birthday on the 30th I have made a point not to include birthday gifts with Christmas presents. He’s 28 tomorrow! Time flies!

  65. Happy Birthday to me, I mean YOU! Happy Birthday to meeee, I meant Happy Birthday to YOU!!!! 😘❤️ 🎂

  66. My birthday is just over 6 months from now (near another holiday which has always intererfered with my birthday, which is why I don’t celebrate it). But I went to the shelter and snuggled some dogs, petted a couple cats, and celebrated all of your no man’s land birthdays for you! Happy Birthday!

  67. My birthday is tomorrow. My brother was born Dec 27th right before I turned 1. I grew up with combo gifts and combined parties. Off to nap and dinner out with Coach tonight. It is 60 degrees in Chicago so we took 3 youngest kids to the zoo too. Happiest of bdays to you!

    Ernie @ nosmallfeetblog.com recently posted dropping the ping pong ball & a hug from above.

  68. Happy Birthday to you. And me but I’m five days before. But I still feel the pain of the “one gift for both” club. F ing horrible. But my bday is usually the worse day of the year. Hate it so

  69. 69
    Ariana Fillips

    Happy Birthday to you! My good friend’s birthday is today. A group of us are headed to a nice restaurant to spend too much on alcoholic drinks and have a good time. It’s easier than going out on NYE, so I think we all benefit from her (yours, as well) birthday.

  70. Happy Birthday!!! <3

  71. Happy Birthday to you. My Birthday was on the 22nd of December. Anniversary was on Christmas eve. Now just waiting for New Years.

  72. My 25 year old daughter’s birthday is on January 4 by which time we are all gifted out and all that’s left in the stores is crap. Now that she’s older we can just throw some money at her along with our best wishes. What a relief. Except her wedding anniversary is also on January 4. Crap!!!

  73. My birthday is on New Year’s. Until I was 5 or 6 I thought the Rose Parade was just for me.
    Now that I’m old, I’m just the biggest hangover that ever happened. So on my b’day, I’ll watch
    my parade, drink coffee & mimosas, eat black eyed peas & greens, fried chicken & cake,
    hang out with my wife & friends, laugh a lot, nap a little, drop some crumbs so my dog thinks
    he’s getting away with something. Perfect! Hope your day is your own vision of perfection!

  74. How timely! I’m a Virgo, but just this morning I mentioned to my husband that this week always feels to me like the ‘taint of the year. Not surprised that I’m in such good company!

  75. Happy Birthday! I feel your pain. My B-day is in January and my rich Grandparents would send all 4 of my sisters $50.00 checks each birthday growing up. I was always forgotten, my Mom always said that they probably didn’t have a new calendar yet. I was the middle child, they probably still don’t know that I exist ha ha. 😉 Being very poor, it’s not like my Mom was able to cover for them. The worst part was that all 4 of their B-days were in Nov & Dec so I always got my hopes up.

  76. 3 of my sisters were born in the perineum. The twins were born on one day and 5 years later my baby sister was born on the next day. They love it! You don’t have to work or go to school on your birthday until you grow up. The house is always decorated for your birthday party because Christmas decorations weren’t taken down until after their birthdays and with the addition of birthday decorations it was always beautiful. They always got plenty of presents at Christmas and their birthdays. My brothers and I were born around Easter time, March and April, so one way or another my parents always had to plan for a holiday and birthdays. My 3 sisters were all due in mid January but my mother always gave birth a few weeks early and for the twins, 3 weeks early.

  77. Happy Birthday you lovely hilarious lady, thank you for the light you bring to the world every day! My birthday is New Years Day, so I can relate to the being lost in the time warp of the neglected holiday birthdays.

  78. Happy bd to me! I ordered a necklace AND matching earrings this morning!
    And Happy BD to all of us 😄

  79. I’m the 28th. Cheers!

  80. Happy Birthday! Mine was yesterday. Nobody remembered. They rarely do. I usually treat myself to a birthday doughnut but when I went to the bakery, they were sold out. Ah well, maybe next year.

  81. Happy Birthday to us! Mine was yesterday, and now I think I see why my mother insisted on having a birthday month. Maybe I will insist on December. Mom can keep February.

  82. My brother-in-law was born on Christmas day. So. That’s always fun for him. Lots of “happy birth-mas” gifts.

  83. I love that my son gets to share a birthday with you! He turned 18 today, yikes!! Have a wonderful birthday, Jenny!

  84. 84
    lauriebrown54

    My birthday was the 27th (love the concept of the ‘perineum’ of the year). I spent the day at the vet with a sick cat who still seems no better.

  85. My wife’s is the second, but still gets a lot of combo gifts for Xmas and birthday. I make sure she is properly celebrated.

  86. Happy Birthday sweet one! My mom was born on December 24th so I’m sure she felt your pain growing up.

  87. Happy Birthday fellow Capricorn! Mine is the 5th of January.

  88. Happy birthday and cool book cameo.

  89. Happy Birthday!

  90. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Holiday-season birthdays can be tricky, my mom’s is at the end of November and while that’s not nearly as close to Christmas as yours it does make the holiday season a tad bit more complicated when it comes to planning events and presents and such.

  91. This cameo makes me so happy! I love You and you and your books! I didn’t notice the special guest appearance and I’m so glad you pointed it out so I can have an excuse to re-watch the show this soon after watching it the first time.

    I think we should all start keeping track of when our favourite things get cameos in the TV show of our life.

    Did you walk down the street and hear your song? Did you see someone reading your favourite book or wearing a sweater you JUST bought because it was so comfortable you wore it right out of the store (after buying it, not shoplifting, although technically even a shoplifted sweater could be your favourite sweater so maybe that still counts.)? If so, take a picture #reallifecameo! Since that item is making a cameo in your life, it’s not weird at all to take a picture of the associated person. Right? I mean it may be, I do weird things all the time without noticing so maybe I’m wrong but it should still be a thing.

    PS, #reallifecameos can happen in reverse too. One day when you’re totally famous, all those people who have blurry pictures of you in their photo albums because you were awkwardly catching a frisbee in the background of their family-picnic-in-the-park photos are going to be like, “Awwww, remember that picnic, when – Hey, is that in the background? OMG, it totally is .” Then you’ve just done a cameo in their lives and it will an exciting little easter egg for them, like seeing an old Pringles commercial with Brad Pitt during a 3 am infomercial and feeling like your life isn’t wasted and maybe there’s a reason for your insomnia.

    I’ll stop now.

    kosturcompose76 recently posted I may be a criminal at heart.

  92. 92
    Heather Feather

    Happy Birthday Capricorn! I had friends when I was growing up whose birthday was Xmas, and they were twins, so not only did they miss out on Xmas combining with their birthday, so then people only got them one present a year, they also often got one present to share for the both of them! Their very wise parents decided to move their birthday celebration to July and they celebrated their half year un-birthday then, so they could enjoy it more.

  93. My birthday is tomorrow and it’s always been hard. Not 100% sure why, because my family has been excellent about never forgetting or ignoring it; it’s just the combination of a year turning over in both ways at the same time?

    This year will be particularly hard because 2019 was the worst year of my life. Stress and loss, including losing both my Dad and my job in a ten day period.

    I’m trying to decide what to do tomorrow. My mom lives nearby and thinks I shouldn’t be alone, but I just don’t know.

  94. Happy Birthday all you gorgeous Capricorns!

    Sherry Cassells recently posted Only two more days to get all the badassery out of your system before you get a whole new slate.

  95. Ah, my husband was just telling me how good you is, and I was telling him how good you are.

  96. I know I’m late saying this but Happy Birthday Jenny!🎂🎁🎉🎂🎁🎉🎂🎁🎉

    thehuntress915 recently posted The Huntress915 Wishlist….Holiday Edition.

  97. Wow. My birthday is the week before Christmas and it is UGLY. I have the same problem with pants for birthday, top for Christmas, if that. My mom doesn’t bother telling me happy birthday anymore, much less a gift (which is fine). People are tired and stressed and the churches are trying to do their Christmas concerts. It’s already about Jesus a week before his ‘birthday.’ People are broke and getting down to the wire and still searching for that ONE thing. The week before Christmas is the crusty brown pucker near the Taint, Jenny. And yet at least it’s not actually on the 24th-26th. Yuck. Doctors should refuse to deliver babies to Christian and Christian-lite families during those times.

    But happy birthday, all you taint dwellers! ❤️

  98. Happy birthday! My husband’s birthday is Christmas Day so he feels your pain. I celebrated our collective bday today by sleeping waaaay in and then cleaning out my shed, which doesn’t sound like it would be a treat but it is (that’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone). I’m on a campaign to rid my home of unused cluttery crap and today I purged a garbage bin’s worth of cracked plastic plant pots and rusty screws and ruined paintbrushes and now I’m drunk with the glorious power that resides in the potential of a newly empty cabinet drawer. My New Year’s wish is that I never come down from this high. Happy New Year, y’all!

  99. It is so not my birthday (not for three months) but HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL OF YA’LL!!!

  100. December Capricorns are the very best!!!

  101. One of my cherished nephews has a Dec 22 birthday. (He’s now 32) When he was a kid, I made it a point to take him out to lunch and go Birthday Shopping before Thanksgiving. I never, ever wanted him to think his birthday was not important enough to celebrate. In fact, it was SO IMPORTANT, we needed to start Early to get all the celebrating in!! Never ever gave him a ChrismaBirthday gift.

  102. "Sheila, DO NOT MOVE" pic.twitter.com/K3cjBXk3Jt— Dyslexic_aDve (@Dyslexic_aDve) December 29, 2019

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  103. I was born the day before Mother’s Day which means it’s sometimes on Mother’s Day. Memorably it was when I turned 16 and I stormed out of the house shouting “I don’t want to celebrate with YOU!” Yes I’m a brat. I wish I could say I outgrew it. My boyfriend/now husband saved the day by cooking dinner for me and our mothers, having cake for me, and bringing flowers. Then after we had kids he used to ask me which one I wanted to celebrate that year. 😝.

  104. Mine is July 24, so exactly six months. One year, I sent my mom flowers to say thank you for having me. She was thrilled. I miss her so much.

    Happy birthday, Jenny. I hope you got to do something just for you. Let us know how you spent the day!

  105. I saw that episode… AND THE BOOK AND IT THRILLED NE TO NO END!!! So Fun!

  106. I saw the episode and I was sooo excited to see your book in his hand! That’s totally a store I’d go to. The murder stuff is a bit if a turn off but it’s probably worth it.

  107. Happy Birthday (belated)!!

  108. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  109. December 27th is my birthday, and this is a great post. 🙂 Happy Birthday to you!

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