Well, helloooooo there.

Last week I found this old antelope with a broken ear in a thrift shop and it looked at me as if to say…

“Really?”

And the “Really?” I heard was like, “Really, you’re going to pass me by when you have a bookshop wall that probably needs magical taxidermy?  I’VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR DECADES” and I was like, “OMG, you are my everything”.   Victor heard the same baffled “Really?” except it was out loud and coming from his own mouth as saw me cradling my new sister as I walked through the store.

I’ve spent the last week deciding how to recreate her majesty, trying all of my wigs and hats on her.  Antelope Margaret?  Antelope Brontë?  Farrah Fawncett?  Goldie Fawn?  Fawn Solo?  Antelope of Green Gables??  They were all good, but one name rose above the others as I pulled out my padded headbands and scarves and costume jewelry.

May I introduce…

Antelope dressed as Anee Boleyn

Antelope Boleyn.

Long may she reign.

Fucking nailed it, y’all. I can’t even tell which one is which.

200 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I think it’s a sable antelope. Antelope Boleyn is perfect!

  2. I gotta say, in that last pic, she looks pleased as punch.

  3. Antelope Boleyn is perfect. I think she’s a Sable Antelope, BTW.

  4. Spectacular!

  5. I love you, Jenny.

  6. Antelope Bolyen looks magnificent. I think Victor needs to get on board with magical taxidermy.

    Gary recently posted Does the size of the bone make any difference to the flavour of your meat?.

  7. This completes me

    But That's For Another Blog recently posted The untouched bottle.

  8. Marie Antelonette, hands down. Lol

  9. SHE IS GORGEOUS AND I AM NOT AT ALL JEALOUS!!!!

  10. She’s perfect.

  11. 11
    Darcy Harbaugh

    I think that’s a bontebok . Think of the fun you could have had with that!

  12. 12
    Michael Grey

    OMG, that is amazeballs! She is fabulous.

  13. 13
    Christina Keltner

    Where on earth did you find the identical necklace? What sorcery is this?

  14. Oh. My. Goodness! She’s beautiful. And she’s totally right, she will look wonderful in your bookstore!

  15. Perfect. She looks so happy. Guess she doesn’t know what happened to Anne.

  16. This. Is. Everything! I needed this today. Thank you!

  17. That. Is. Fantastic!

  18. 18
    Mary Kay conley

    She is a freaking work.of.art!!!

  19. 19
    TheSpoonMage

    she is wonderful and what a perfect name!

  20. I love her. We had a family friend who had a taxidermied deer head mounted in the entryway to his home. Her name was Murgatroid.

  21. 21
    Darlene Wilson

    This made me so happy 🙂

  22. She’s perfect!

  23. PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!

  24. She is WONDERFUL!!!

  25. OMFG I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. I think I just peed a little 😂 Your genius knows no bounds!

  27. I can’t wait to visit Nowhere. I hope we will be able to take photos with all of the magical taxidermy!

  28. Perfect!

  29. OMG! Antelope Boleyn is perfect!!!

  30. The resemblance really is uncanny. Something about the eye(s)…
    This is one of my favorites!

  31. 31
    Jami Shofner

    Does he STILL not understand where you come from?
    Antelope Bolyen is perfect because all you have is her head. (In case no one has pointed that out.)

  32. I never comment, just admire you from afar. But today, I have to tell you that you are WONDERFUL!

  33. 33
    A Nony Mouse

    Can’t wait to see her in person at the bookshop! Antelope Boleyn is perfect!

  34. Yes, yes, yes!

  35. I mean, look at the pictures. Sisters from another mother

  36. Perfect name for the perfect ‘be-headed’ antelope! You are so clever.

  37. Anyone notice that they both had their heads chopped off?? 😂

  38. Absolute PERFECTION!!!!!!! I love her.

  39. Long may she reign!!

  40. They are TWINS! Right down to the smirks. love love love!

  41. 41
    Lee Ann Perez

    I love her. She is perfection.

  42. Absolute PERFECTION! I love her.

  43. 43
    Suzanne Schmitt

    I LOVE her!!!❤️❤️❤️

  44. You are simply the best Jenny.

  45. My favorite of Henry’s wives.

  46. Make Nowhere postcards of this. PLEASE!!

  47. It took me waaaaaaaay too long to realize that part of the perfection is that it’s just her head.

  48. 48
    Sara B McMechan

    She has a very Mona Lisa-like smile, y’all!

  49. This is amazing!

  50. I love your spectacular vision! Antelope Boleyn is perfect!

  51. This has just won the internet!!!

  52. I love the way your brain works, makes me smile even on days when I feel broken.

  53. I never cease to be amazed by how these treasures find there way to you.

    Cris recently posted Finding balance after job loss.

  54. The coy look in the second picture! I can’t even ❤️!

  55. I think it’s time for Victor to accept that you’ve got a menagerie, and the only acceptable course of action is to let it grow! 💜

    Besides, you could always say that it’s part of your “brand”, especially since she’s going to live in the bookstore! 😊

  56. I wish I could find thrift shops in Houston like the ones you find! If anybody knows if any, please post their names!

  57. OMG I love her. Anne Boleyn is always my answer to what person living or dead would you want to meet and there she is, looking fetching at your bookstore.

  58. Your Majesty👑

  59. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

  60. 60
    marsha green

    I’m currently traveling but when I get home I’ll send you a pic of
    “Willie the Wildebeest” who has graced our walls for over 40 years.
    As I’m sure you know, there are some things that aren’t negotiable in a
    marriage! LOL!

  61. I have never been to TX and haven’t had a reason to go. Until your bookstore.

  62. Damn, history is beautiful.

  63. Is it my imagination, or does Antelope Boleyn look happier in her pearls?

  64. I know how to pronounce antelope. I do. But when I read this it rhymed with Penelope. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  65. Omg this is amazing. I have been calling my best friend an antelope for the better part of two decades now. Antelope Boleyn is everything.

    Chrissy Woj recently posted A decade ago.

  66. oh my god yes.

  67. That is amazing!!! Love it!

  68. Perfect!

  69. I named my first car Goldie Fawn because she was gold and middle name is Fawn.

  70. I cant help but wonder what are the odds that Anne Boleyn might have been reincarnated as this antelope, only to go through the whole losing her head thing again? At least this time, she gets her pearls back, so that’s progress…

  71. O.M.G. I love you. I can’t wait to visit the bookstore and see it in all its glory (and to meet Antelope Boleyn in person). Long may she reign. The name is SO perfect I can’t stand it.

  72. 72
    Margot Williams

    I have to say, Antelope Boleyn looks a damn sight more flirty than her predecessor. Then again, she’s already lost her head. Probably nice to have got it over with.

  73. I feel much better after meeting this magical creature. Perfectly named!

  74. Your creative mind amazes me! Tooo funny

  75. Lovely!

  76. awesome

  77. LOL! Antelope Boleyn is awesome. For a stuff Antelope, she doesn’t seem judgemental at all. Every Antelope I’ve ever met has been very judge-y.

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Vengeance and Mayhem.

  78. Of cores you have an Ann Bolin neckless just like in the painting 😂😂😂😂

  79. Perfection!

  80. 80
    Anna Goldfinch

    I started rhyming antelope with Penelope and I can’t stop.

  81. 81
    michele the ray of fucking sunshine

    WHO THE HELL just HAPPENS to have custom Ann Boleyn headbands and necklaces on hand? Oh yeah, right… Jenny of course! Always prepared to make our days awesomer.

  82. She’s perfect!!!

  83. I would’ve gone with Idina Gazelle.

    stevedegroof recently posted Steve DeGroof.

  84. 84
    Anne, Cranky Cat Lady

    I am slain, dead. The costume is perfect. Antelope Boleyn even has the original’s expression.

  85. She looks pleased as punch! Thanks for saving her!☺️

  86. My gawd, you are a genius.

  87. She’s magnificent!!

  88. Brilliant!

  89. She’s a saucy minx isn’t she.

  90. Normally taxidermy freaks me out but she’s so cute.

  91. Nailed it!

  92. Yes, Nailed IT! Perfect and a perfect place for her. REALLY? YES LOL I love it. Thank you for rescuing her.

  93. You absolute ANGEL. This is SO perfect! <3

  94. Shes a blesbok, not a sable. Ans ages beautiful.

  95. She’s a blesbok, not a sable. And shes beautiful.

  96. 96
    Kameron Bean

    She’s a blesbok, not a Sable, and she’s beautiful.

  97. That is a SERIOUSLY COQUETTISH antelope!

  98. Thanks for perfect end to a decent day! 🙂

  99. 99
    Rebecca Stromgren

    I have never really wanted to visit Texas.
    Until now.
    I have a desperate need to visit Nowhere, and Antelope Boleyn.

  100. 100
    Heather Torrey

    I love how she watches us coyly. She knows how majestic she is. You saved her, Jenny.

  101. She is the loveliest Blesbok I have ever seen!!!! I can’t wait to see her in the bookstore!

  102. That is too friggin awesome!

  103. That is too friggin awesome!

  104. Perfect, since she has also been beheaded…

  105. Beyond perfect and made my day thank you

  106. 106
    Whoa Nellie

    OMG, that’s perfect.

    I need to get a ticket to San Antonio, stat.

  107. Well that is just absolutely PERFECT!

  108. YOU reign supreme!!!! I could not love you more!! What have I done that is so bad that the universe won’t let me find an antelope in a thrift store!! ❤️❤️❤️

  109. It was kismet that you found Antelope Boleyn! Really it was.

  110. Please tell me you’re going to make little brass-on-wood name plates to go under your wonderful creations in the store!

  111. Only appropriate. I wouldn’t have been able to walk past her either. Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t approve of purchases of this sort, so I have to live vicariously through you.

    reneewittman recently posted ITJFU: Sarra Cannon at Heart Breathings Author and YouTuber.

  112. So much love!

  113. She’s so coy. I want to come to Texas just for the thrift stores. Ohio’s are not cutting it. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2020/01/14/peace-of-mind-pieces-of-my-mind/

  114. OMG, someone is totally going to start a new religion, just to be with Antelope Boleyn.

  115. My back completely gave out today and I can barely move…and yet… here is mischievously adorable Antelope Boleyn to regally brighten the day. Your are a wizard!!

    You should tag the Tower of London on Twitter. I’m sure the Brits would get a kick out of this!

  116. I. Am. In awe.

    How are you so lucky to find so many amazing past living friends?!?!

    I want just one. Pray to the Mods I can find just one past living friend.

  117. 117
    Emma Nicholson

    oh blogess, you are awesome! Taxidermy gives me the creeps but you have given me a whole new perspective on it.

  118. You just made my day. So awesome.

  119. I never knew how much I needed this in my life until tonight. Antelope Boleyn is stunning.

  120. She’s a lot better looking than her namesake! (You’re sure it’s a girl, right? Cuz how can you tell?)

  121. 122
    Sandra Williams

    Perfect!

  122. Yes yes yes! Absolutely awesome! Perfect name. I went to my dad’s funeral today and this just made my day. Thank you.

  123. 124
    Jeanne Taupin

    THIS. IS. EVERYTHING.

  124. 125
    Amy Halperin

    Separated at birth?

  125. What can I say … gnu nailed it.

    Karen recently posted this was a good week.

  126. Baaahaaaahaaahaaa

  127. It’s a blesbok…southern African origin…

  128. 129
    Ashlee Fowler

    Oh I absolutely love her! Just perfect!

  129. Are you… Are you putting up a bookshop just to have more space to put taxidermied animals in?
    Also, did you expressly bought (or even commissioned… Omg how deep is this rabbithole?) a bunch of replica jewelry pieces a long time ago only because you love to dress dead animals as historical figures and renfair weirdos? Multiple sets? Will you eventually bury a mummyfied Tutankamongoose complete with tiny sarcofagus, scepters, urns with tiny mummyfied cats in them, treasures and scores of miniature papyrus scrolls in a model tomb to put in the local park’s kiddy sandbox? The more I think about the limits of what to expect from you the more I love the endless trip and, obviously, you for taking me on it.

  130. Definitely not sable, her horns are wrong. Bontebok as stated earlier

  131. Bontebok, which incidentally mean multicolored(bonte) antelope (bok) in Afrikaans.

  132. Bontebok and blesbok are two subspecies of the bontebok

  133. Cute. I think the giant cat will bring the store better luck, but whatever!

  134. Good to see that she’s already beheaded. So at least you don’t have to physically do that part of her history because that would have been… awkward.

  135. You are wonderful. Can’t stop smiling.

  136. As a Henry VIII fangirl, I approve. (You probably didn’t know that Henry VIII girls even existed and I’m probably the only one.)

    mommatrek recently posted Thanks a LOT, Climate Change.

  137. When I die I’m sending my skelly to you.

  138. 139
    Bill E Stevens

    Ann could’ve used those horns back in the day. Identical twins, right?

  139. 140
    pattykake120

    And the lesson is to never lose your head over a man.

  140. LOVE this. Just. LOVE this.

  141. 142
    Rebecca Martin

    I absolutely love it! I can hardly tell the difference between the two! ;0)

  142. Perfect!!!

  143. No doubt the taxidermist for Antelope Boleyn was Henry’s on 8th street.

  144. And, you know, they both ended up with their heads separated from their bodies…

  145. Love it!

  146. I suppose it’s entirely fitting that Antelope Boleyn’s noggin’ is mounted on a plaque…

  147. Actually, after finding that I’m not observant, let me change my previous comment to: she’s mounted to the wall…

  148. They both lost their head so this is perfection.

  149. I love her. She looks very, very saucy in that last photo.

  150. 151
    Heather Feather

    Love, love, love her! Perfect namesake for the deposed queen.

  151. O thank you! She’s just perfect and she looks so pleased.

  152. Notice how her eyes follow you . . .

  153. 154
    Kimberly Collins

    Oh yes!! I can see the resemblance.

  154. 155
    seasprayed@live.com

    Good one Jenny!!

  155. Love, love, love her!

  156. 157
    helenmatheyhornbooks

    Mary Smith…I do think she knows what happened to Anne Boylen…as they both have ‘lost’ their heads.

  157. She looks quite beatific.

  158. Pretty sure that’s an IBEX, not an Antelope. You don’t know an Antelope when you see one? Check the horns, Hon.

  159. Mmmm, hope it’s not an Endangered Species…

  160. Ahhh haha! This is amazing. She looks perfect.
    I read your book Furiously Happy recently but am new to your blog. It is giving me life during a very dark and emotional time in my life. Thank you, Jenny!

    https://wordsandwinewithjade.blogspot.com/

  161. Victor does not deserve you.

  162. 163
    annbookhouse

    I have lots necklaces and know where to borrow some horns–next Halloween i’m gonna be Ann-tell-oh-pee Boleyn!

  163. The name is a brilliant match, but if you decide to get silly for Halloween some year may I suggest she’s well set to play Malificent?
    Or better still, put her in a divided hen in 🙂 https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b1/77/86/b17786afe73baf5242734623551b7448.jpg

  164. Henin. Had to teach that to my phone. Every autocorrect needs a downloadable patch to add specialized vocabulary.

  165. Henin. My auto-correct needs file downloaded with all sorts of custom vocabulary for a history major.
    (And if this double enters, my apologies, first correction vanished into the ether.)

  166. Love it!! Absolutely perfect!!

  167. This is spectacular!! I love it. I hope I can come to your bookstore when it opens. I’m so excited for you!

    Lisa Orchard recently posted Focus on Your Dreams.

  168. I absolutely adore you for having that costume there and ready for her. She is perfect. (And I can’t help but note, you know, she lost her head.)

  169. Love!!!

  170. I love this

  171. 172
    craftspagan

    So totally ab fab. Huzzah!

  172. Did you make the B pendant? Excellent shopping skills if you bought it. Very impressive if you made it!

  173. One of my favourite historical figures! Love the accuracy. Hope to meet her in real life someday!

  174. of course they are twins – both beheaded…… hmmmm… too soon?

  175. 176
    Missy Buchanan

    Thank you for making my Monday!

  176. Jenny- I’m not sure where else to post this or if you’ve tried this but I
    Ketamine has recently saved my life! Is it something you’ve considered?? Please email me if you’d like to talk about my experience!

  177. You continue to make my world a better place <3 never stop being your delightful self

  178. She does look like a gossip though! I don’t think i’d tell her MY secrets…you WIN again Jenny:)

  179. 180
    Marjorie Birch

    Brilliant. Just perfect. Now, you need to find a blonde antelope and name her Antelope of Cleves.

  180. Brilliant!!! Perhaps you should rescue all the lost wall heads around the world and put them on your shop wall.

    Trev Jones recently posted When Magic Goes Wrong.

  181. The original Anne would be proud!

  182. And, they both had their heads cut off. Top that for coincidence.

  183. I LOVE IT! perfect!

  184. Love it! Totally made my day!

    momof2wifeandsimplelife recently posted Love what you do.

  185. I’m laughing til I’m crying, AGAIN, this is brilliant. My family doesn’t know your name, they just ask me when I laugh like this, “What? Your funny lady again?” And I nod helplessly in the giggles. You are my funny lady forever, Jenny Lawson. I just totally love you!

  186. Love it! It’s PERFECT

  187. 188
    Robyn Volker

    oh hellz yeah.

  188. Antelope Boleyn <3

  189. LOVE!

  190. So, I assume you’re going to be on the lookout for another 5 to complete the set?

  191. She is FABULOUS! I will bet you your father is extremely proud of you right now <3

  192. Is it bad that I come search your post every day just to see if you’re posting to help others just so I can give more like I did with Christmas. I love to give, give and give! I can’t help it. But with dmthat being said. I just love reading your posts and everything you talk about. I just got finished reading my first book btw 😊

  193. She’s perfect.

  194. 195
    Holly Chadwin

    She is goddamn PERFECTION and don’t let anyone (Victor) tell you otherwise.

  195. They both lost their heads so that’s perfect.

  196. Its a bontebok (Damaliscus pygargus) which is an antelope found in South Africa, Lesotho and Namibia. It was almost hunted to extinction (as it was seem as a competitor for farmland) but has recovered now from a low of 17 in 1931 to about 2-3000 today, many of which now live in zoos and reserves to protect them.

  197. 198
    Potato Queen

    Perfection.

  198. She bears a remarkable resemblance to Anne Boleyn. Very regal!

  199. Antelope Boleyn is great.

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