Well, helloooooo there.

Last week I found this old antelope with a broken ear in a thrift shop and it looked at me as if to say…

“Really?”

And the “Really?” I heard was like, “Really, you’re going to pass me by when you have a bookshop wall that probably needs magical taxidermy?  I’VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR DECADES” and I was like, “OMG, you are my everything”.   Victor heard the same baffled “Really?” except it was out loud and coming from his own mouth as saw me cradling my new sister as I walked through the store.

I’ve spent the last week deciding how to recreate her majesty, trying all of my wigs and hats on her.  Antelope Margaret?  Antelope Brontë?  Farrah Fawncett?  Goldie Fawn?  Fawn Solo?  Antelope of Green Gables??  They were all good, but one name rose above the others as I pulled out my padded headbands and scarves and costume jewelry.

May I introduce…

Antelope dressed as Anee Boleyn

Antelope Boleyn.

Long may she reign.

Fucking nailed it, y’all. I can’t even tell which one is which.

199 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I think it’s a sable antelope. Antelope Boleyn is perfect!

    Like

  2. I gotta say, in that last pic, she looks pleased as punch.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Antelope Boleyn is perfect. I think she’s a Sable Antelope, BTW.

    Like

  4. Spectacular!

    Like

  5. I love you, Jenny.

    Like

  6. Antelope Bolyen looks magnificent. I think Victor needs to get on board with magical taxidermy.

    Like

    Gary recently posted Does the size of the bone make any difference to the flavour of your meat?.

  7. This completes me

    Like

    But That's For Another Blog recently posted The untouched bottle.

  8. Marie Antelonette, hands down. Lol

    Like

  9. SHE IS GORGEOUS AND I AM NOT AT ALL JEALOUS!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. She’s perfect.

    Like

  11. 11
    Darcy Harbaugh

    I think that’s a bontebok . Think of the fun you could have had with that!

    Like

  12. 12
    Michael Grey

    OMG, that is amazeballs! She is fabulous.

    Like

  13. 13
    Christina Keltner

    Where on earth did you find the identical necklace? What sorcery is this?

    Like

  14. Oh. My. Goodness! She’s beautiful. And she’s totally right, she will look wonderful in your bookstore!

    Like

  15. Perfect. She looks so happy. Guess she doesn’t know what happened to Anne.

    Like

  16. This. Is. Everything! I needed this today. Thank you!

    Like

  17. That. Is. Fantastic!

    Like

  18. 18
    Mary Kay conley

    She is a freaking work.of.art!!!

    Like

  19. 19
    TheSpoonMage

    she is wonderful and what a perfect name!

    Like

  20. I love her. We had a family friend who had a taxidermied deer head mounted in the entryway to his home. Her name was Murgatroid.

    Like

  21. 21
    Darlene Wilson

    This made me so happy 🙂

    Like

  22. She’s perfect!

    Like

  23. PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!

    Like

  24. She is WONDERFUL!!!

    Like

  25. OMFG I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  26. I think I just peed a little 😂 Your genius knows no bounds!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I can’t wait to visit Nowhere. I hope we will be able to take photos with all of the magical taxidermy!

    Like

  28. Perfect!

    Like

  29. OMG! Antelope Boleyn is perfect!!!

    Like

  30. The resemblance really is uncanny. Something about the eye(s)…
    This is one of my favorites!

    Like

  31. 31
    Jami Shofner

    Does he STILL not understand where you come from?
    Antelope Bolyen is perfect because all you have is her head. (In case no one has pointed that out.)

    Liked by 3 people

  32. I never comment, just admire you from afar. But today, I have to tell you that you are WONDERFUL!

    Like

  33. 33
    A Nony Mouse

    Can’t wait to see her in person at the bookshop! Antelope Boleyn is perfect!

    Like

  34. Yes, yes, yes!

    Like

  35. I mean, look at the pictures. Sisters from another mother

    Like

  36. Perfect name for the perfect ‘be-headed’ antelope! You are so clever.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Anyone notice that they both had their heads chopped off?? 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Absolute PERFECTION!!!!!!! I love her.

    Like

  39. Long may she reign!!

    Like

  40. They are TWINS! Right down to the smirks. love love love!

    Like

  41. 41
    Lee Ann Perez

    I love her. She is perfection.

    Like

  42. Absolute PERFECTION! I love her.

    Like

  43. 43
    Suzanne Schmitt

    I LOVE her!!!❤️❤️❤️

    Like

  44. You are simply the best Jenny.

    Like

  45. My favorite of Henry’s wives.

    Like

  46. Make Nowhere postcards of this. PLEASE!!

    Liked by 2 people

  47. It took me waaaaaaaay too long to realize that part of the perfection is that it’s just her head.

    Liked by 2 people

  48. 48
    Sara B McMechan

    She has a very Mona Lisa-like smile, y’all!

    Like

  49. This is amazing!

    Like

  50. I love your spectacular vision! Antelope Boleyn is perfect!

    Like

  51. This has just won the internet!!!

    Like

  52. I love the way your brain works, makes me smile even on days when I feel broken.

    Like

  53. I never cease to be amazed by how these treasures find there way to you.

    Like

    Cris recently posted Finding balance after job loss.

  54. The coy look in the second picture! I can’t even ❤️!

    Like

  55. I think it’s time for Victor to accept that you’ve got a menagerie, and the only acceptable course of action is to let it grow! 💜

    Besides, you could always say that it’s part of your “brand”, especially since she’s going to live in the bookstore! 😊

    Like

  56. I wish I could find thrift shops in Houston like the ones you find! If anybody knows if any, please post their names!

    Like

  57. OMG I love her. Anne Boleyn is always my answer to what person living or dead would you want to meet and there she is, looking fetching at your bookstore.

    Like

  58. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

    Like

  59. 60
    marsha green

    I’m currently traveling but when I get home I’ll send you a pic of
    “Willie the Wildebeest” who has graced our walls for over 40 years.
    As I’m sure you know, there are some things that aren’t negotiable in a
    marriage! LOL!

    Like

  60. I have never been to TX and haven’t had a reason to go. Until your bookstore.

    Like

  61. Damn, history is beautiful.

    Like

  62. Is it my imagination, or does Antelope Boleyn look happier in her pearls?

    Like

  63. I know how to pronounce antelope. I do. But when I read this it rhymed with Penelope. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Liked by 2 people

  64. Omg this is amazing. I have been calling my best friend an antelope for the better part of two decades now. Antelope Boleyn is everything.

    Like

    Chrissy Woj recently posted A decade ago.

  65. oh my god yes.

    Like

  66. That is amazing!!! Love it!

    Like

  67. Perfect!

    Like

  68. I named my first car Goldie Fawn because she was gold and middle name is Fawn.

    Like

  69. I cant help but wonder what are the odds that Anne Boleyn might have been reincarnated as this antelope, only to go through the whole losing her head thing again? At least this time, she gets her pearls back, so that’s progress…

    Like

  70. O.M.G. I love you. I can’t wait to visit the bookstore and see it in all its glory (and to meet Antelope Boleyn in person). Long may she reign. The name is SO perfect I can’t stand it.

    Like

  71. 72
    Margot Williams

    I have to say, Antelope Boleyn looks a damn sight more flirty than her predecessor. Then again, she’s already lost her head. Probably nice to have got it over with.

    Like

  72. I feel much better after meeting this magical creature. Perfectly named!

    Like

  73. Your creative mind amazes me! Tooo funny

    Like

  74. Lovely!

    Like

  75. awesome

    Like

  76. LOL! Antelope Boleyn is awesome. For a stuff Antelope, she doesn’t seem judgemental at all. Every Antelope I’ve ever met has been very judge-y.

    Like

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Vengeance and Mayhem.

  77. Of cores you have an Ann Bolin neckless just like in the painting 😂😂😂😂

    Like

  78. 80
    Anna Goldfinch

    I started rhyming antelope with Penelope and I can’t stop.

    Like

  79. 81
    michele the ray of fucking sunshine

    WHO THE HELL just HAPPENS to have custom Ann Boleyn headbands and necklaces on hand? Oh yeah, right… Jenny of course! Always prepared to make our days awesomer.

    Like

  80. She’s perfect!!!

    Like

  81. I would’ve gone with Idina Gazelle.

    Like

    stevedegroof recently posted Steve DeGroof.

  82. 84
    Anne, Cranky Cat Lady

    I am slain, dead. The costume is perfect. Antelope Boleyn even has the original’s expression.

    Like

  83. She looks pleased as punch! Thanks for saving her!☺️

    Like

  84. My gawd, you are a genius.

    Like

  85. She’s magnificent!!

    Like

  86. Brilliant!

    Like

  87. She’s a saucy minx isn’t she.

    Like

  88. Normally taxidermy freaks me out but she’s so cute.

    Like

  89. Nailed it!

    Like

  90. Yes, Nailed IT! Perfect and a perfect place for her. REALLY? YES LOL I love it. Thank you for rescuing her.

    Like

  91. You absolute ANGEL. This is SO perfect! ❤

    Like

  92. Shes a blesbok, not a sable. Ans ages beautiful.

    Like

  93. She’s a blesbok, not a sable. And shes beautiful.

    Like

  94. 96
    Kameron Bean

    She’s a blesbok, not a Sable, and she’s beautiful.

    Like

  95. That is a SERIOUSLY COQUETTISH antelope!

    Like

  96. Thanks for perfect end to a decent day! 🙂

    Like

  97. 99
    Rebecca Stromgren

    I have never really wanted to visit Texas.
    Until now.
    I have a desperate need to visit Nowhere, and Antelope Boleyn.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. 100
    Heather Torrey

    I love how she watches us coyly. She knows how majestic she is. You saved her, Jenny.

    Like

  99. She is the loveliest Blesbok I have ever seen!!!! I can’t wait to see her in the bookstore!

    Like

  100. That is too friggin awesome!

    Like

  101. That is too friggin awesome!

    Like

  102. Perfect, since she has also been beheaded…

    Like

  103. Beyond perfect and made my day thank you

    Like

  104. 106
    Whoa Nellie

    OMG, that’s perfect.

    I need to get a ticket to San Antonio, stat.

    Like

  105. Well that is just absolutely PERFECT!

    Like

  106. YOU reign supreme!!!! I could not love you more!! What have I done that is so bad that the universe won’t let me find an antelope in a thrift store!! ❤️❤️❤️

    Like

  107. It was kismet that you found Antelope Boleyn! Really it was.

    Like

  108. Please tell me you’re going to make little brass-on-wood name plates to go under your wonderful creations in the store!

    Liked by 1 person

  109. Only appropriate. I wouldn’t have been able to walk past her either. Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t approve of purchases of this sort, so I have to live vicariously through you.

    Like

    reneewittman recently posted ITJFU: Sarra Cannon at Heart Breathings Author and YouTuber.

  110. So much love!

    Like

  111. She’s so coy. I want to come to Texas just for the thrift stores. Ohio’s are not cutting it. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2020/01/14/peace-of-mind-pieces-of-my-mind/

    Like

  112. OMG, someone is totally going to start a new religion, just to be with Antelope Boleyn.

    Like

  113. My back completely gave out today and I can barely move…and yet… here is mischievously adorable Antelope Boleyn to regally brighten the day. Your are a wizard!!

    You should tag the Tower of London on Twitter. I’m sure the Brits would get a kick out of this!

    Like

  114. I. Am. In awe.

    How are you so lucky to find so many amazing past living friends?!?!

    I want just one. Pray to the Mods I can find just one past living friend.

    Like

  115. 117
    Emma Nicholson

    oh blogess, you are awesome! Taxidermy gives me the creeps but you have given me a whole new perspective on it.

    Like

  116. You just made my day. So awesome.

    Like

  117. I never knew how much I needed this in my life until tonight. Antelope Boleyn is stunning.

    Like

  118. She’s a lot better looking than her namesake! (You’re sure it’s a girl, right? Cuz how can you tell?)

    Like

  119. 122
    Sandra Williams

    Perfect!

    Like

  120. Yes yes yes! Absolutely awesome! Perfect name. I went to my dad’s funeral today and this just made my day. Thank you.

    Like

  121. 124
    Jeanne Taupin

    THIS. IS. EVERYTHING.

    Like

  122. 125
    Amy Halperin

    Separated at birth?

    Like

  123. What can I say … gnu nailed it.

    Like

    Karen recently posted this was a good week.

  124. Baaahaaaahaaahaaa

    Like

  125. It’s a blesbok…southern African origin…

    Like

  126. 129
    Ashlee Fowler

    Oh I absolutely love her! Just perfect!

    Like

  127. Are you… Are you putting up a bookshop just to have more space to put taxidermied animals in?
    Also, did you expressly bought (or even commissioned… Omg how deep is this rabbithole?) a bunch of replica jewelry pieces a long time ago only because you love to dress dead animals as historical figures and renfair weirdos? Multiple sets? Will you eventually bury a mummyfied Tutankamongoose complete with tiny sarcofagus, scepters, urns with tiny mummyfied cats in them, treasures and scores of miniature papyrus scrolls in a model tomb to put in the local park’s kiddy sandbox? The more I think about the limits of what to expect from you the more I love the endless trip and, obviously, you for taking me on it.

    Liked by 1 person

  128. Definitely not sable, her horns are wrong. Bontebok as stated earlier

    Like

  129. Bontebok, which incidentally mean multicolored(bonte) antelope (bok) in Afrikaans.

    Like

  130. Bontebok and blesbok are two subspecies of the bontebok

    Like

  131. Cute. I think the giant cat will bring the store better luck, but whatever!

    Like

  132. Good to see that she’s already beheaded. So at least you don’t have to physically do that part of her history because that would have been… awkward.

    Liked by 1 person

  133. You are wonderful. Can’t stop smiling.

    Like

  134. As a Henry VIII fangirl, I approve. (You probably didn’t know that Henry VIII girls even existed and I’m probably the only one.)

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted Thanks a LOT, Climate Change.

  135. When I die I’m sending my skelly to you.

    Like

  136. 139
    Bill E Stevens

    Ann could’ve used those horns back in the day. Identical twins, right?

    Like

  137. 140
    pattykake120

    And the lesson is to never lose your head over a man.

    Liked by 1 person

  138. LOVE this. Just. LOVE this.

    Like

  139. 142
    Rebecca Martin

    I absolutely love it! I can hardly tell the difference between the two! ;0)

    Like

  140. Perfect!!!

    Like

  141. No doubt the taxidermist for Antelope Boleyn was Henry’s on 8th street.

    Like

  142. And, you know, they both ended up with their heads separated from their bodies…

    Like

  143. Love it!

    Like

  144. I suppose it’s entirely fitting that Antelope Boleyn’s noggin’ is mounted on a plaque…

    Like

  145. Actually, after finding that I’m not observant, let me change my previous comment to: she’s mounted to the wall…

    Like

  146. They both lost their head so this is perfection.

    Like

  147. I love her. She looks very, very saucy in that last photo.

    Like

  148. 151
    Heather Feather

    Love, love, love her! Perfect namesake for the deposed queen.

    Like

  149. O thank you! She’s just perfect and she looks so pleased.

    Like

  150. Notice how her eyes follow you . . .

    Like

  151. 154
    Kimberly Collins

    Oh yes!! I can see the resemblance.

    Like

  152. 155
    seasprayed@live.com

    Good one Jenny!!

    Like

  153. Love, love, love her!

    Like

  154. 157
    helenmatheyhornbooks

    Mary Smith…I do think she knows what happened to Anne Boylen…as they both have ‘lost’ their heads.

    Like

  155. She looks quite beatific.

    Like

  156. Pretty sure that’s an IBEX, not an Antelope. You don’t know an Antelope when you see one? Check the horns, Hon.

    Like

  157. Mmmm, hope it’s not an Endangered Species…

    Like

  158. Ahhh haha! This is amazing. She looks perfect.
    I read your book Furiously Happy recently but am new to your blog. It is giving me life during a very dark and emotional time in my life. Thank you, Jenny!

    https://wordsandwinewithjade.blogspot.com/

    Like

  159. Victor does not deserve you.

    Like

  160. 163
    annbookhouse

    I have lots necklaces and know where to borrow some horns–next Halloween i’m gonna be Ann-tell-oh-pee Boleyn!

    Like

  161. The name is a brilliant match, but if you decide to get silly for Halloween some year may I suggest she’s well set to play Malificent?
    Or better still, put her in a divided hen in 🙂 https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b1/77/86/b17786afe73baf5242734623551b7448.jpg

    Like

  162. Henin. Had to teach that to my phone. Every autocorrect needs a downloadable patch to add specialized vocabulary.

    Like

  163. Henin. My auto-correct needs file downloaded with all sorts of custom vocabulary for a history major.
    (And if this double enters, my apologies, first correction vanished into the ether.)

    Like

  164. Love it!! Absolutely perfect!!

    Like

  165. This is spectacular!! I love it. I hope I can come to your bookstore when it opens. I’m so excited for you!

    Like

    Lisa Orchard recently posted Focus on Your Dreams.

  166. I absolutely adore you for having that costume there and ready for her. She is perfect. (And I can’t help but note, you know, she lost her head.)

    Like

  167. Love!!!

    Like

  168. I love this

    Like

  169. 172
    craftspagan

    So totally ab fab. Huzzah!

    Like

  170. Did you make the B pendant? Excellent shopping skills if you bought it. Very impressive if you made it!

    Like

  171. One of my favourite historical figures! Love the accuracy. Hope to meet her in real life someday!

    Like

  172. of course they are twins – both beheaded…… hmmmm… too soon?

    Like

  173. 176
    Missy Buchanan

    Thank you for making my Monday!

    Like

  174. Jenny- I’m not sure where else to post this or if you’ve tried this but I
    Ketamine has recently saved my life! Is it something you’ve considered?? Please email me if you’d like to talk about my experience!

    Like

  175. You continue to make my world a better place ❤ never stop being your delightful self

    Like

  176. She does look like a gossip though! I don’t think i’d tell her MY secrets…you WIN again Jenny:)

    Like

  177. 180
    Marjorie Birch

    Brilliant. Just perfect. Now, you need to find a blonde antelope and name her Antelope of Cleves.

    Like

  178. Brilliant!!! Perhaps you should rescue all the lost wall heads around the world and put them on your shop wall.

    Like

    Trev Jones recently posted When Magic Goes Wrong.

  179. The original Anne would be proud!

    Like

  180. And, they both had their heads cut off. Top that for coincidence.

    Like

  181. I LOVE IT! perfect!

    Like

  182. Love it! Totally made my day!

    Like

    momof2wifeandsimplelife recently posted Love what you do.

  183. I’m laughing til I’m crying, AGAIN, this is brilliant. My family doesn’t know your name, they just ask me when I laugh like this, “What? Your funny lady again?” And I nod helplessly in the giggles. You are my funny lady forever, Jenny Lawson. I just totally love you!

    Like

  184. Love it! It’s PERFECT

    Like

  185. 188
    Robyn Volker

    oh hellz yeah.

    Like

  186. LOVE!

    Like

  187. So, I assume you’re going to be on the lookout for another 5 to complete the set?

    Like

  188. She is FABULOUS! I will bet you your father is extremely proud of you right now ❤

    Like

  189. Is it bad that I come search your post every day just to see if you’re posting to help others just so I can give more like I did with Christmas. I love to give, give and give! I can’t help it. But with dmthat being said. I just love reading your posts and everything you talk about. I just got finished reading my first book btw 😊

    Like

  190. 195
    Holly Chadwin

    She is goddamn PERFECTION and don’t let anyone (Victor) tell you otherwise.

    Like

  191. They both lost their heads so that’s perfect.

    Like

  192. Its a bontebok (Damaliscus pygargus) which is an antelope found in South Africa, Lesotho and Namibia. It was almost hunted to extinction (as it was seem as a competitor for farmland) but has recovered now from a low of 17 in 1931 to about 2-3000 today, many of which now live in zoos and reserves to protect them.

    Like

  193. 198
    Potato Queen

    Perfection.

    Like

  194. She bears a remarkable resemblance to Anne Boleyn. Very regal!

    Like

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