On the other hand, I did inadvertently stick to the theme, so that’s something.

So there’s a chapter in my next book (coming 2021) where I talk about how the most embarrassing moments in our lives are the ones that really bring us all together and I wanted to quote a bunch of tweets that you guys sent me a few years ago when you shared your most mortifying moments but I also wanted to make sure that it was cool to publish so I sent about 100 DM’s to people asking if I could share their story and today when I checked back in almost everyone was like, “Yes, and also it’s kind of awesome that a moment that used to make me cringe so hard is now something I’m so happy to share” and I was like, “YES!  THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE CHAPTER.”

And it was all really lovely except for one DM I’d sent to this lady where I’d said, “Hey, remember in 2015 when you told me about how you fell so hard in the mall that your tampon shot out?  Can I put that in my next book if I credit you?” and I got a response back from a guy who was like, “WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT IS HAPPENING” and turns out I’d mistyped the twitter name and sent a DM about accidental tampon-launching to a complete stranger.  And it was mortifying for a minute but also a little bit funny and I just want to apologize in advance to the three (and counting) other people I have also misidentified and sent questionable DM’s to about horrifically awkward things that never actually happened to them at all.

Now I’m going to go hide under my desk for awhile.  The usual.

102 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Well, this is the perfect end to that chapter, actually.

    Liked by 18 people

  2. So many glittery, sparkly thoughts swirling through my head. That was such a fun/cringing/shuddering/smiling/sigh-of-reliefing stalking experience for me!

    Happy happy stuff. I hope one day he realizes he talked tampons with Jenny Lawson.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. I remember that Twitter thread (3+ years ago???) – it made my entire week better.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Oh, oh, oh, I am dying,,,, gasp,,, that is one of the funniest things I have ever read (both the launching and the DM sending
    PS What is a DM?

    (A direct message on twitter. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love that you are SO on brand, all.the.time. Don’t ever change!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. LOL. This blog post is the best thing that has happened to me today. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I imagine that receiving that DM is almost as good as a letter to Hogwarts.

    As sad as I am that my personal humiliation did not make the cut, I laughed at that thread until I couldn’t BREATHE, and I can’t wait for the book to become available! I will happily beta-read.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. ❤❤❤❤❤

    Like

  9. You. Are. A. National. Treasure.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. I almost choked on my sandwich just now. Totally worth it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I love you❤❤❤❤❤

    Like

  12. I’d just blame autocorrect Jenny. Autocorrect will cause a world war I’m sure…

    Liked by 1 person

    Gary recently posted Prawn scallop and speck fried cauliflower rice.

  13. I remember that thread!!! It was soooo good and funny. I’m gonna go back and see if I can find it now

    Like

  14. I’m sad that I’ve never received a questionable DM from you…or anyone actually.

    Like

    theycallmetater recently posted I’m My Own Worst Enemy.

  15. HAHAH!! also maybe a cleaver way to gain even more fans!

    Like

  16. @Anonymous 1 An DM is Direct Message. Way to slide into those DMs Jenny.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Then again, now you’ve got a start on a chapter for your next book…

    Like

  18. Oh my my! You continue to crack me up!

    Liked by 1 person

    Donna Lucas recently posted Australia Burns: an anthology of donated stories from authors who care.

  19. E everything about this makes me happy

    Like

  20. You are my hero 🙂

    Like

  21. I’m wiping my screen off… I was in kind of a bad mood until this. 🙂

    Like

  22. Oh you need a tampon launching gun/cannon for your next book launch now. Those things are expensive so it would make a topical, generous and feminist statement. Tampons for everyone! Pew pew! You’re welcome.

    Liked by 3 people

  23. 23
    Dorene Clement

    Something that I remember reading about way back when has stuck with me. When “I Love Lucy” was a top TV show in the 1950s, Lucille Ball offered a (Camel?) cigarette, a competing brand, to one of her show’s sponsors (Lucky Strike cigarettes?). She said that she was truly mortified, as I remember reading it. And I thought, well, if she can do something embarrassing, and then reveal it so publicly, I guess I can live through my own many mortifications which are generally far less widely known!

    Liked by 3 people

  24. 😂 I need to know all those people because ‘awkward’ and ’embarrassing’ are my two middle names.

    Like

    Mrs. Completely recently posted I Just Broke Facebook AND Amazon.

  25. You are a hoot!! Never change!

    Like

  26. This just made my day!

    Like

  27. 27
    Crystal Burton

    This should definitely be the ending to that chapter. It fits perfectly 5 years later

    Like

  28. I hope he realizes how many people would love to get that DM from you. If it makes you feel any better, the other day at the grocery store the very sweet and proper (we live in England) old lady behind us was chatting with my 3yo and telling her how nice she was to be so good while I was shopping. My three year olds response? To ask this very nice old lady, “Did you know it’s important for blood to stay IN your body?”
    3yo and I both looked at each other awkwardly and slightly horrified. The old lady took a few steps back from my apparent junior serial killer.
    It’s not a tampon but kind of under the same Umbrella? A very disturbing umbrella…

    Liked by 4 people

    knockingonfortysdoor recently posted Moments Dear and Not So.

  29. That definitely goes in the movie you have to make someday.

    Like

  30. 30
    Christina Keltner

    Um, so I had a tampon launching incident once and I didn’t realize that tampon launching was a thing but apparently it is. My tampon launch was waterslide related.

    (OMG, I love you. ~ ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 3 people

  31. Omg I’m laughing so hard. This is so something I’d do but more importantly I can’t wait to read this chapter!!!!! I hope the original rocket launching tampon lady says yes 😂😂😂😂😂

    Like

  32. My toddler sent random peacock pictures to about a dozen people on pinterest the other day. Of all the things I pin, he picked my colorway inspiration and sent it to 12 people I do not know remotely… not quite the level as tampoons but still weird.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. 33
    AJ-the-short-one

    Oh I am at work and SNORTING! Laughing so hard people are staring.This is perfect for today. And every day. I hope the tampon-launch makes it into the book. Life cracks me up.

    Like

  34. This is the best! Yippy know how to make us quiver with anticipation for your next book!! (Rubbing hands together gleefully and slightly crazed!)

    Like

  35. Omg! BAHAHAHA! I can’t stop laughing! I am looking forward to your new book! Thank you for the laughs ❤️

    Like

  36. I completely needed to read this. The depression monster is trying to eat me over the past few days. And now I need to check Amazon to see when the release date is if there is one yet…

    Like

  37. 37
    Jenny With a B

    So, I’m still stuck on ‘my next book will come out in 2021’.
    I thought it was coming out later this year. Not that it’s not worth waiting for…
    Btw, I am using your first two books as great examples of how to cope with depression at our church’s women’s retreat on Saturday. If I can get to the bookstore I’ll use all three. While I’d love to share the tampon-launching story with the group I think I’ll just provide the link to your website and let them be surprised. (I just realized how I phrased my fourth sentence; hopefully there will not be any depression at the women’s retreat.)

    (Me too but apparently the election sort of fucks up everything and I took too long for it come out in the Spring. I am an impossibly slow writer. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 1 person

  38. That’s absolutely fantastic!!!!! Sounds like something I would do!

    Like

  39. OMG, again you always make me smile and giggle all at the same time.

    Like

  40. 40
    Kristy Mallet

    This is the first time I have EVER regretted not being on Twitter!!! My life is really just a succession of those moments stitched together 😉!! I love that you’re turning those stories into something magical, Jenny 😊💕

    Like

  41. And now you have another story for the book. 🙂

    Like

    Arionis recently posted Where Have All The Chat Rooms Gone?.

  42. Indeed, you are acquiring new embarrassing moments!!

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Venus Flytrap.

  43. I am going to buy each of your books (I’ll buy the new ones as they are published) and simply read them over and over and over… I’ll put them on a turnstile shelf and they will be my constant companions forever until I die because there is NO OTHER AUTHOR QUITE LIKE YOU.
    I told my sister to read your first book and she said she peed a little while reading the first page. THAT’S how hilarious you are. You make 60-year-old women pee. She, in turn, told all of her friends about you and also the ladies at church!!!
    Heaven help us all! Cannot wait till I have your new book in my hot little hands!

    Like

  44. Absolutely fantastic. I would find even misguided DMs from you charming! Even tampon related!

    Like

  45. You know if men had to use tampons, tampon launching would be an olympic event. They would spin around like the hammer throw, belly flop in the circle and 3 guys in top hats would run out to measure the distance and angle and leave little flags for the best attempts.

    Liked by 2 people

  46. runs off to check DMs on Twitter

    That was such an awesome thread. And this is an awesome epilogue. ❤

    Like

  47. I love you so hard.

    Like

  48. You just made my day! Thank you.

    Like

  49. Thank you so much for giving me such a great laugh this evening!!

    Like

  50. Oh, my! That would definitely grab my attention and entice me to read your book if I didn’t know who you were and want to read your book. I have a morbid sense of humor though. I can understand why the man was horrified. Then I can imagine it being my son-in-law and then him laughing and telling all his wife and friends after you explained. Thank you for sharing. As you well know, you aren’t the only one that’s done embarrassing things! I’ve been there, done that and couldn’t unshare it.
    {hugs}
    Sandy/Aset/Wynterose

    Like

  51. Did you happen to include my cousin’s mortifying yoga fart?!? I sure hope so!!

    Like

  52. 52
    beth carpenter

    Well, i am sure that Kieran’s response will light up additional thoughts on more Olympic events with tampons! I have laughed so hard, my nose is running along with my eyes….you guys are the best!!

    Like

  53. That can happen? Cool. I mean the tampon thing. I’ve had to help dig for one before and didn’t gross me out…strange huh, just glad to be part of the team I guess. Good luck on the book!

    Like

  54. Your books have sustained and helped me in ways you cannot imagine. 2021 can’t get here fast enough!!

    Like

  55. 55
    Tracey Blaine

    This makes me super happy!!!!

    Like

  56. 56
    lachatlunatic

    My entire life is embarrassing moments. Some funny, some sad and some so sick/sad they are funny. Contact me when you start your next book. I even have photos!

    Like

  57. I started reading this thinking, “huh, I can’t think of anything cringe worthy enough to make a book of your caliber”. And then read “tampon shooting out” and immediately said, “oh yeah, there was that time I was trail running with 20 strangers and had gone through a waist high river. My pad lost its “stick” and, absorbed with water to its max, fell out onto the ground while I was in full stride. Yep, that was embarrassing. So I’m part of the cool kids club now, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  58. Things like this are one of the many reasons I love you.

    And just to make you smile: The time I read Cosmo (because I was young), called my husband home for lunch, then: wrapped myself in saran wrap and a bow, left my bra on the door knob of our apt. (knowing no one’s home mid day); left a trail of clothing to the bedroom, and waited (provocatively)… (you should know this won’t end well from Cosmo on)… only to hear my husband trying to explain to his boss, why someone would leave a bra on our door. It’s VERY hard to unwrap saran wrap by yourself. I was mortified!

    Can’t wait for the new book! ♥

    Like

  59. That thread was one the best parts of twitter. I’m so sad I deleted my account now on the off chance I was one of the lucky mortifying yet hilarious tweets 😂. I’ll never forget that vajazzeling article. ❤️

    Like

  60. 60
    Kristen Durance

    I have never been so sad that I deleted my twitter account 😂 That thread still makes me giggle and was one of the best parts of twitter. I have friends who will never let me forget sending a vajazzeling link to a client. Love this amd can’t wait to read the book!!!!

    Like

  61. Oh God yes!

    Like

  62. 62
    Ashlee Fowler

    So first off I absolutely love how this happens when you are oking embarrassing moments, seems rather fitting that it did happen because of course it would. I so can’t wait for your next book trying to be patient but I just absolutely love your books. They not only make me laugh a ridiculous amount but they have helped me so much mentally!!

    Like

  63. I have been having a shitty, shitty, SHITTY week (well, six weeks actually, due to injury) and I needed that laugh today. Also..sorry if you tried to send me a DM on Twitter and found out my Twitter account no longer existed. I had to shut it down because I was getting overwhelmed with all the negativity and bullshit.

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide.

  64. I am not sure what my most horrifying moment would be. They all seem to be part of life. Maybe getting older has softened my edges and thinned the skin. Then again, I have always been pretty transparent about my faults.

    Like

  65. It’s not that I want people to be embarrassed by the awkward things they do…it is just that I don’t want to be alone.

    Like

  66. I loved that Twitter thread! I don’t have Twitter, so I didn’t post originally, but I have a good one. I was shopping at Costco and had a bunch of diaper-related things in my cart – diapers, wipes, diaper genie refills, etc. I lost track of my cart and saw that an older man (maybe late 70’s) was pushing it by accident. I said, “I think you have my cart. I don’t think you need any diapers.” What I meant was, you are older and probably don’t have babies at home. What he heard: You are old, but not so old that you are peeing in your pants yet.

    Like

  67. Sounds like a new chapter – embarassing email mistakes we have made.

    Like

  68. 69
    Natalie Forman

    I would really like to see this original thread that you are speaking of! Today is a day where reasons to laugh are very much needed.

    Like

  69. 70
    Bill E Stevens

    We need our own giant desk to hide under all together after our humiliating adventures. So many fresh stories to tell each other…..we’d be like the rebel camp at the end of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451.

    Like

  70. 71
    Bill E Stevens

    ps—hmm….guess that’s what this blog site is all about….like Fahrenheit 451, only better!

    Like

  71. 72
    Heather Feather

    My Aunt once told me a story about she was a teenager she swimming with a tampon in and somehow the string was poking out of her swimsuit and a fish chomped onto the string and pulled it out. She was so upset she decided from then on to only use pads. Later on she would be able to laugh at it. Nothing beats a good tampon mishap horror story! I swear you could do a one woman stand up show just talking about our most horrifyingly embarrassing incidents and it would be the best stand up show ever! Laughing beats crying every time…
    I can’t wait for your new book.

    Like

  72. I am literally laughing out loud. The irony of this happening for this chapter of your book just means that it must go in!

    Like

  73. Tampons coming out unexpectedly is honestly part of the reason I’ve never used them. Not that I think it happens frequently, I’m just so awkward and anxious in general that I can’t imagine how I’d feel if it did happen.

    Sad to hear your new book isn’t coming out this year, but of course it’s worth waiting for. In the meantime I’ll just keep listening to your audiobooks, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve gotten through each one. Your voice is soothing. Listening to them more than usual at the moment while trying to cope with new-med side effects.

    Like

  74. Sounds like just another moment – take a screenshot and add it for good measure!

    Like

  75. This is sounding very good. In fact, I could probably fill a whole library with embarrassing moments. I wish I could put some here, but I’m standing in a bucket of wet cement.

    Like

    Trev Jones recently posted He Reminds Me Of Someone.

  76. You are THE BEST! This made me laugh so hard! Can’t wait to read it!

    Like

  77. No! Do not cringe about it! This is the BEST WAY EVER to get people to really appreciate their own lives (Well! Things at be stressy at work, but at least I never…”) and to feel some empathy for others!

    Like

  78. Can someone pretty please post the link to that thread? I don’t remember seeing it!

    Like

  79. 81
    Joseph Prisco

    You are a fucking national treasure. Just don’t let Nicholas Cage try and track you down.

    Like

  80. 800 kind of hilarious and timely and wow and awesome. Thank you, Jenny and all the peeps who leave comments. Weirdos Rule! XO

    Like

  81. Oh my god, PERFECTION.

    Like

  82. Please feel free to quote all and any tweets from me regarding my tampon misadventures!

    Like

  83. Oh my gosh! I’ve got to get your next book! It sounds hilarious! I have never heard of anybody’s tampon falling out because they fell down!

    Like

    Lisa Orchard recently posted Human Trafficking: Crimes against our Teens #2.

  84. Wow! great job with this write-up. This is creative proficiency at its best. I am very pleased with the plot and how it unfolds through-out the narrative. Great job and well done once again.

    Like

  85. I agree with the first paragraph. I would also love to read the compilation of those embarrassing stories.

    Like

  86. 88
    Peggy J Purvis

    Wow wee!! I just finished Furiously Happy, and this book get’s me or I get it!?! Never the less it was absolutely wonderful!! So it is OK to be a little kooky or crazy sometimes. I cannot wait to read your other books and found your bolt today. Thanks for being You and giving others the opportunity to be themselves!!! Great work! 😋. ✌. 👽. 🌈. 👍. 🙋. 😱

    Like

  87. Hilarious!

    Like

    tiamurphy recently posted Hello world!.

  88. LOL – Thanks for the laugh 🙂

    Like

  89. I shouldn’t be this excited about a dress but I am. Also, I agree about fancy gowns and robes coming back.

    Like

  90. 92
    MarysesPieces

    💃🏽 neato.

    Like

  91. Oh. Me. Me. Me. Please.

    Like

  92. Can’t wait for your new book!! Does it have pockets, too!?!?

    Like

  93. Awesomeness! I love them. I love you/your writing! Wining combo!!

    Like

  94. I just adore you! That’s hilarious! I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re working on a new book! You basically just made my whole year! ❤️

    Like

  95. 97
    Tanya Svoboda

    The recipient of the misdirected tampon email was probably like “How did she know??”

    Like

  96. I love The Jenny. My dog accepts your challenge and wants me to get a dress so he can prove his hair will stick to everything. Game on puppy!

    Like

  97. 99
    Kim Abrahamson

    I don’t usually wear dresses but I think I might just have to try this out! Pockets!!!

    Like

  98. Leave it to Jenny Lawson to single handedly bring back the fashion trend of wearing dressing gowns as street wear. I’m not even mad. I want one.

    Like

  99. I LOVE Eshakti – one of the very few places to get a well fitting garment! 👍🏻👍🏻

    Like

  100. That’s awesome, Jenny! I just got my first eShakti dress (based on your prior post about them), and I love it!

    Like

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