This is not my fault

So I was working on turning an old broken tv into a display for the bookstore and I had a bunch of papertowels draped on the ground because I was decoupaging book pages on the sides (from a badly damaged paperback – don’t yell at me) and I kept dripping the glue on the floor and I was so busy I didn’t notice when Ferris Mewler laid down on the paper towels but as soon as I did I nudged him off so I wouldn’t drop glue on him but apparently there was already glue on the paper towel because when he got up he looked at me weird and then tore off across the house with the paper towels stuck to him because apparently the glue had dried to his butthole and so I was chasing him through the house trying to pull off the paper towels but he wouldn’t stop so I was just stomping on the paper towel butt veil he was dragging behind him and only managing to pull small sections off because it was a longish roll and also I think I was maybe scaring him by chasing him and stomping what I can only imagine he thought was some sort of inappropriate ghost with serious boundary issues and I finally got the paper towel off but Ferris was still all wild-eyed and tried to lick off the glue and I know it’s non-toxic but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy and he bit me when I tried to wash it off (although technically I was washing him with a wet paper towel and now that I think about it that probably just revisited the trauma) so I just got the electric beard clippers and held him upside down while I shaved off his butt hair and now he refuses to look at me and I’m pretty sure none of this shit happens with Martha Stewart.

But the tv is coming along.

179 thoughts on “This is not my fault

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I bet it doesn’t happen to her and she lives a much diminished life because of it!

  2. Some of us liked your original blog. And not all of us want to read non-stop about your bookstore. Would it be possible to have a separate blog for your commercial venture and let this blog revert back to the way it was? Otherwise, we will miss you, but we will go (sorry, that reads like a threat, but it is not meant that way; also, we understand if you won’t separate this blog from your bookstore and we hope you will understand that we don’t want to be sold books and bookstore events when we come to read you, here). Either way, we do wish you the very best.

  3. I think Martha has equal trials and tribulations but is not as honest about them, personally

  4. Love the project! Sorry about the damaged paper backs but how cool and functional to make something creative and awesome from them!

    And so sorry for all the pet trauma. Poor Ferris Mewler (best name). But I bet he is super glad to know there wasn’t a ghost chasing him too.

    A lot of energy and trauma for everyone. I hope you’re now enjoying a time-out with alcohol. Or lemonade. Or something pleasant.🖤

  5. Your life is the most interesting one out of the lives of anyone I associate with. Especially compared to my own life. Please never stop having these crazy events occur! 😆

  6. Omg I needed that. I swear I laughed so hard an inappropriate toot came out…so now I’m laughing/slightly shamed at the same time…

  7. I just laughed and laughed! I can see it all in my mind including the murder death glares that Kitty is still sending you

  8. No pictures?!

    Oh, well. As a cat person I have a fairly decent mental image going on….

  9. 🙀😬nope, never saw Martha shave upside-down, gluey butt before. And where do you find such awesome stuff? I’d display that in my home! Maybe stuff it with some of the TBR books. Looks great!

  10. I think your paper decoupage is much better than Martha Stewart’s. Also, you are far more entertaining, even if Ferris Mewler doesn’t think so. Is there video of the paper chase?

  11. So funny! This is what my life is like whenever I try to do a project, inevitably there is glue in an inappropriate place and in the process of cleaning it up, something always goes awry. I bet it happened to Martha Stewart a lot before she became famous or wealthy enough to have staff to clean up the mess and de-glue her pets. Snort!!!!

  12. I think the old TV would make a great diorama stage for retelling this story. I’d come to the store to see it.

  13. Cats are known to have social distancing problems with crafts.
    I’m sure he’s okay but I love hearing about your adventures!
    Never bored with whatever you choose to write to us!

  14. Please don’t tell Ferris, but I was in tears laughing! The mental picture…
    I’m pretty sure that Van Gogh (my one-eared kitten) would have chewed my arm off!

  15. That story may be the best sentence ever written! Martha has no idea the fun she is missing.

    P.S. Not sure how a story about gluing paper towels to Ferris’ butt is all about the bookstore, so please ignore comment #11 from Bored Visitor. We love everything you have going on in your life.

  16. To bored visitor, comment 11. Technically, this was not really about the bookstore. It was about a cat, glue, paper and a TV. Some of us like whatever Jenny wants to write in her blog. At least I like whatever Jenny chooses to write in her blog.

  17. You are SO much better than Martha Stewart. Keep rocking it! You are awesome. Thanks for the laugh today. I needed it.

  18. If Ferris Mewler hadn’t laid down on the paper towels, this never would’ve happened. It’s totally his fault. But I probably wouldn’t try telling him that. At least not until some of his fur grows back.

  19. When I began to get a bit light headed from holding my breath whilst (?) reading that really exciting run-on and on and on and on story, I realized I needed to breath, but opted instead to hold on to see if i could make it to the end…

  20. So he was having a “working from home day” like the one i had. He will need 2 days of zero attention to recover.
    And he doesn’t ever want to see paper towel again.

  21. Only you, Jenny. Only you. And Martha Stewart is a witch, doesn’t everybody know that? She’s like Samantha Stevens, she just tells the camera people to make sure they don’t have the cameras on her nose when she twitches it.

  22. It does actually happen to Martha Stewart but it’s Snoop Dog that she has to chase down and shave.

  23. In their old age, several of my cats have gotten too big or too arthritic or just too tired to adequately clean themselves so I have my vet shave their bum areas to help. That way they hate the vet, not me.

    It may take a few days but Ferris will come around 🙂

  24. Love your adventurous life and I second that you should ignore #11. I don’t take it as commercial at all. Keep on doing what you’re doing.

  25. Laughing out loud seriously! Thank you so much for sharing your life and stuff.

  26. I love how the first couple comments completely ignore the Ferris misadventure and just mention the craft project, like the rest is just a normal thing that happens.

  27. Oh my word, I needed that laugh today! I appreciate any and all stories that you share, so please don’t think that comment #11 is how your fans feel. I personally love you sharing the bookstore news because it is a big part of your life and you’re living my personal dream of owning a bookstore. So share away because I for one love you (in a totally non-creepy way)!

  28. A) Thank ZEUS I’m working from home so the laughter didn’t disturb anyone other than my cat.
    B) Probably doesn’t happen to Martha, but this is why I follow YOU and not her!

  29. RE: Dear Comment #11 – you are free to do whatever makes your life good.

    Understand and be aware that some of us have had to go into self-isolation for 5-6 months now and that reduces our ‘world’ and lives considerably. We can’t all go out the way we used to and have the types of interactions that that inspire writing the way it may have been in your perception. It’s all part of what many of us are experiencing right now and I believe most of Jenny’s Tribe can relate to it.

  30. Crying I’m laughing so hard! We survived the first day of virtual learning (4th grade, 7th grade, and two HS admins) so that may have something to do with it!!

  31. Hey, “Bored Visitor”? As I’ve seen multiple times online: “It’s not an airport; you don’t have to announce your departure.”
    This was a hilarious story about misadventures with cratfing and cats, and yet you chose to be sniffy about it still have any relation to Jenny’s huge life goal of opening her bookstore.
    I’m trying to give a little grace, since you tried to phrase things politely, but it’s super hard since the effect was still to come into HER space and shit on HER joy.
    So, yeah, not a lot of grace going on for me right now.
    Jenny, I hope the cat forgives you for that indignity. Then again, perhaps he’ll grow to appreciate the smooth cleanliness of a shaved butthole and will knock the clippers off the counter as a way of sending a message later.

  32. Please never forget, Jenny, that the vast, vast, majority love you and your blog exactly as you are!

  33. My 16 year old would like to see Ferris Mewlers butthole. There’s no accounting for some people. But we all enjoyed the story (even if Ferris didn’t).

  34. Omg! The exact same thing happened with me and my cat Pandora!!! Glad we’re not alone!

  35. Wait!!! You tell us you shaved his butthole and showed us a picture of the TV instead?!? This must be upside down world today! 😂

  36. As per usual your posts come at such a time when I need the laugh. Sorry Ferris it was at your expense 😀

  37. Oh, dear….poor Ferris! Is he the same cat who ate the toy w/the jingle bell attached, which ended up coming bell first out of his butt, and whom you chased around the house w/a pair of scissors screaming “LET ME HELP YOU”? Either way, it’s no wonder the poor beastie is freaked out! (My late lamented Jezebel had an extremely dense coat, so I usually had the vet’s office trim the hair on her butt to avoid clingons. Well, one February she went in for her annual, and I made the mistake of using the word “shave” instead of “trim”, and sure enough, when we got home and I let her out of the carrier, as she made a beeline for the food bowl I realized to my horror that they had indeed shaved her poor little butt. “Jesus H. Christ, my cat has a Brazilian! In February! In a house w/marble tile floors! AAAAAAAAACCCCKKK!” She did fine, but I still felt like a bad, bad catmom until her fur grew back…)

  38. As a person who hates the effort of going out to a bookstore (since they are always located on the busiest intersection with the most impossible and expensive parking in my city), but loves the bookstores themselves, I love hearing about your store as it let’s me vicariously go to the bookstore without fighting traffic. It also makes me appreciate more how hard it is to start and maintain a business and how much work goes into it. Keeping on blogging about whatever your mind desires. I have never felt pressure to buy because of your blogs, especially since you keep giving shout outs to other independent bookstores and even encourage us to take out the books from ehe library if that is what we want to do. Ignore post #11 and keep on being you.

  39. Oh no, that was too funny. I was crying picturing the whole episode- wild eyes and all 😂
    I’ve seen that look from my dog before.
    You tv book display looks great though.

  40. would that be the ghost of ass past he is still running from? shouldn’t we learn from our ass mistakes?

  41. If it helps I have had to wash paint off my cat multiple times and my dog likes to step in her own poo and is terrified of the kitchen sink and being washed so it’s always terribly traumatic to wash -one- poopy paw. Then she forgets all a out it immediately and gives me all the kisses. So there’s that I guess? The cat was eager to get rid of the paint thankfully and didn’t realize that it was half my fault the paint got on him. He thought I only rescued him!

  42. I almost blew my iced tea all over my iPad! Hilarious! And hey, problem solved. Who cares what Martha thinks? LOL. And P.S. The cat will get over it come dinner time.

  43. This is totally the kind of thing that would happen at my house. You get extra mom points though for not stopping to take pics. In all honesty, I can’t say if this happened in my house that there wouldn’t be pics. Aaaaand probably video. In fact, there might already be pics out there somewhere of crazy things my cats have gotten themselves into. Maybe. But don’t tell my cats, ok?. #livinglavidagatos

  44. I’m freakin crying I’m laughing so hard. Poor Farris he’s having a hard day. I’d say these things only happen to you but that would be a lie these things happen to me too. Love Bella

  45. Oh no, poor Ferris! Don’t tell him that strangers on the internet are laughing at him, he’ll never forgive you. I love hearing these stories about your life. Your genius (autocorrect tried to turn that into “genioplasty” and dear God autocorrect, what the hell? Where did you learn that word?)

    Anyway, I appreciate that you write about your actual life and I enjoy hearing about the bookshop.

  46. I’m pretty sure I had that TV growing up! Definitely the magazine rack under it. Poor Ferris.

  47. I’m pretty sure your cats have a much more interesting life than most house cats. (And all I can think of with the tv idea is ‘does she realize people will probably constantly be gathered around that thing to read those pages?’ because yeah that’s what I’d be doing.) (Also, why is WordPress not logging me in? Very annoying.)

  48. You wrote that entire sentence with only the one period right at the end! Impressive!

    I read it as if it was a hurried explanation from a hyper child to an exasperated and exhausted adult! Maybe because after the day that I had at work today, exasperated and exhausted adult describes me right now. Thank you for the much needed laugh! I’ll need one even more after tomorrow’s workday so I look forward to another post describing your hijinks tomorrow around tnis time!

  49. Wait, what happens when Victor finds out what his beard trimmers were used for? Or is that something that simply won’t be mentioned because it didn’t happen and you were totally just joking?

  50. Hi Jenny please don’t stop writing about your bookstore, I live on the west coast of Canada so will probably never get to see it in person, but I LOVE to hear about it and see all the cool art pieces you build for it. It makes my day to read any of your posts regardless of the subject. Please never change except to feel better and happier!

  51. I love this story. And now I have a picture in my head of Martha Stewart laying out all the supplies for properly shaving your cat’s butthole. Which will involve two tools no normal person owns (For this part I like to use my grandmother’s sideburn trimming scissors with the seal of the czech republic embossed in minature on the blade) 5 extra steps. “Now after you’ve used the big trimmer and the small trimmer, remember to buff the skin before using the scissors, and then finish with a lavender scented talcum powder-I make my own with the lavender from my garden”

  52. Argh, I wrote this whole comment and it went into the ether so I’ll try again.
    I love this story. It’s hilarious. And now I have the following picture in my head. Martha Stewart shaving her cat’s butthole, but using 5 tools including 2 no normal person owns-“I like to do this bit with my grandmothers sideburn trimming scissors that are embossed with the seal of the Czech Republic on the blades.” And like 16 steps-“Now, after using the large trimmer and then the small trimmer, remember to buff your cat’s asshole, before evening up any stray hairs with the scissors. Afterwards apply lavender scented talcum powder-I make my own with the lavender from my garden.” then of course she’d show you a perfectly round butthole trim.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  53. OMG! My dog got herself stuck to a glue board that I’d put out to catch noseeums that have been plaguing us. She wore it like a jaunty cap. I think she looks rather stylish, actually. I had to pour oil on her and the glue to get her unstuck and then she looked like a little greaseball until I could give her a bath!

  54. Omfg…..bahahahahaha..bahahahahaha..gasp!! I can just picture that scene in my mind! Had a similar thing with my asshole cat Maxine…lmao

  55. That looks like it could have been our tv we had in the ‘60’s ( minus the decoupage).

  56. Maybe your last sentence should have read:
    “Butt” the tv is coming along. 😉

  57. Poor Ferris Mewler… and I hope you’re making that a display for book made into tv shows or movies…

  58. I want pictures! And video! And don’t take #11 personally. The bookstore is an important part of your life and I love hearing about it! And seeing pictures of it and any other damn thing you want to write about and show us. I’ll second another commenters noting that the vast, vast, vast, vast (see I added another vast) majority of us love you anyway you show up.

    I also am eager to hear how Victor takes your use of the trimmers. Tee hee…

  59. Thank you for sharing this. I had such a crap day I needed this laugh more than I realized. You’re amazing!

  60. Jenny, the only thing missing from this story is a photo of Ferris Mewler. My dad and I both ended up in that silent-laughter phase when we could barely breathe.

    Thank you for sharing *all* of your stories. I am waiting anxiously for the day when I can visit Nowhere Bookshop – I have no doubt it is going to be as unique and wonderful as you are.

  61. No words. Just laughing and laughing (sorry Ferris Mewler). I trust the kitty is OK and the project is no worse for being interrupted. Thank you, once again, for making my day!

  62. Dear Jenny, Your bringing the bookstore into being is a demonstration of the transformative power of following one’s dreams. As such, it is wonderful to hear about it. If you are anything like me, you might take #11’s comment more to heart than the many comments of those of us saying we love you and support you writing about whatever is up for you. Please don’t take it to heart. Especially since the post she’s responding to isn’t even really about the bookstore which seems to me to be indicative of a personal problem on her part that doesn’t really have anything to do with the post!

  63. She just doesn’t blog about it, that’s why you’re WAY cooler than her. Looks great!

  64. This was so funny I had to pause the show my daughters and I were watching so I could read it to them, and when I got to the words ‘beard trimmer’ I was almost laughing too hard to finish.

  65. I had to wash off my new rescue cat’s balls today because he had dried poo all over them and he was leaving imprints all over the bed wherever he sat. Luckily we found out he’s totally cool with people handling his balls with warm wet paper towels. Who knew?

  66. Oh my God… weeping from laughter. I am sure it was traumatic for both of you at the time, but the visual of Ferris Mewler with his tushie in the air suffering the indignity of getting shaved just about did me in…

  67. Mikki Brisk! “But the cat was cool and never said a mumbling word..” . Although I bet Ferris said several obscene cat words very loudly if he’s anything like our cat. Oh my word, still laughing!
    Also, chiming in about #11, please don’t take the comment to heart. Most of your tribe love hearing about the bookstore. Please continue updating us. Vicarious visits have to suffice right now.

  68. LOL!!! I can’t stop laughing. I can just imagine. Something similar happened to my cat…but it was with a lint roller and when she ran, she ran fast and the roll just kept going, attached to her butt. It has been 4 years and she still jumps up and runs away every time she hears a sheet being torn off the lint roller.

  69. Do you ever get to feeling that ‘I’ve had a rough day. I just want to sit down, put my feet up and relax’? Then the moment you get comfortable the pet jumps all over you wanting some “me’ time! Um…yeah…I don’t see that happening to you for a while. 🙂 The display does look pretty cool though!

  70. 💕 Thank you for sharing your decoupage talent, and the cat story of the day! I will be laughing til bedtime and beyond. Now we need to see the pictures, although from the sound of it there wasn’t time for photography. And if Martha Stewart has cats I am certain they all have pretty shaved butts. Now, How in the world #11 cannot see the humor, and only see the word bookstore is beyond me! Ba -bye #11. You obviously never were one of Jenny’s Tribe! 💕

  71. Thank you for the best laugh in quite awhile. I turned my dog – and a lot of my house – green once trying to get food color paw prints.

  72. OMG!!! I just snorted Coke Zero out my nose!!! I really needed to laugh tonight – many thanks!!!

  73. So you need beard clippers to trim the butt hair? (First time I’ve ever had a long haired cat.)

  74. Omg, I almost needed resuscitation from laughing so hard. Whose clippers, Victor’s? I think the cat needing a little time alone to contemplate his day is OK.

    Our cat would yowl at my husband the moment he came in from work and reenact dramatic events until he would come to me and ask, “what happened to the cat?”

  75. The tv looks cool. Does Ferris like catnip? Perhaps you could bribe him with it or a treat? I bet Martha Stewart has days like yours but she can’t tell anyone for fear of ridicule. You, of course can entertain us. Thank you again for keeping our spirits up !

  76. Poor Ferris Mewler…but the TV looks lovely! I got bit and scratched the other day because my cat Tony was standing too close to the door hinge in the pantry when I came out and shut the door. I accidentally shut the door on the hair of his tail, which pulled it and of course that hurt, so he lashed out at me (which I don’t blame him) and took off, leaving a good size chunk of hair behind.

  77. Poor Ferris! He must have been perturbed about the whole situation! I’m sure he’ll get over it…maybe a treat to offset his trauma would be nice. A treat for YOUR trauma is in order as well!

    The TV looks great…what a clever idea! Can’t wait to see the finished product!

  78. Oh my gosh. I needed to laugh like this. Maybe if shit like this happened to Martha and she wrote candidly about it, people would start having a billionth of the adoration for her as we all do for you!

  79. You make my life seem so boring…I mean if you don’t ever chase down a glued cat to shave his butt hair …are you even really LIVING? I don’t even HAVE A CAT! 🤷‍♀️

  80. I laughed so hard and flashed back to when you were chasing the kitty (apologies for not remembering which one) who had swallowed the jingle ball on a string and yelling at them to let you help them while brandishing scissors!

  81. Try chasing a cat with a rubber band hanging out the butt hole. Watch cat get offended when the rubber band smacks back. Then try it with the same cat but tinsel. Yeah, Sylvia Plath was not the brightest cat, just the most cuddly.

  82. I make 1:144 miniatures and my cat likes to sit on me and she has a powerful, very active t-rex tail that destroys everything in its wake and longish fur that sucks up tiny furniture bits. A very bad combo but oh she is a good, good kitten and so worth it.

  83. Is this the same cat you stuck the gloves on? Cat definitely needs some Prozac.
    That said, #11 needs to get over her/him/its/them/they/whoever/whomever/whatever self. I like to read about the bookstore because then I can blather about the store and the books and sound semi-intelligent but never really have to bother reading a book, which I don’t have time to do because I’m busy reading blogs and doom-scrolling and taking long naps, which I’m entitled to do because I’m old.

  84. My God Jenny! The weirdest stuff always happens to you. Never ever stop being you bc I live for these stories of your life!

  85. I’m interested in the bookstore stories – if #11 isn’t interested, then don’t read those entries. Part of your life – your life is interesting to us!

  86. That was the best laugh I’ve had in a while. And then I saw the caption on the photo and started again. Thanks, Jenny! And thank you for your service, Ferris.

  87. We are out here on the madly burning Oregon coast. I so needed the laugh you brought to me this morning. Thank you so much. I will be chuckling all day. Keep your fingers crossed we don’t get evacuated.

  88. I just realized #11 uses the royal we…I think you might have just lost the Queen as a follower. “We are (no longer) amused.” Off with your head!

  89. One of my cats was ~6 months old when a sticky fly strip became interesting. It was 10pm, I was chasing the cat, his brother was chasing *me*, and when I caught the sticky cat, I had to hold him still while I googled “are fly strips poison” and “can I wash a cat with Dr. Bronner’s”

  90. Omg-u know it’s never happened to Martha Stewart…except…has she ever showed her dogs’ buttholes on camera? And why is that? Btw live the TV-u are so friggin’ creative!!!!

  91. One time we had a very strange cat named Willie. He was really broken for some reason. He bit you if you tried to pet him, but if you were out on the porch and there was glass between you and him he would fall apart with ecstasy while you fake petted him through the glass. In fact that is why we adopted him in the first place. There was a florist by the Dairy Queen where we bought our cherry dips, and there was a big sign one day that said FREE KITTENS. So we went over there and he was the last one, and he was just meowing and chin swiping the glass and rolling around all happy so we called the next day. The lady at the florists came out with him in a cardboard box and left quite quickly. This is because she already knew Willie was insane. We brought him home and he basically exploded out of the box and tried to kill us by pulling tiny kitten claw chuncks of flesh from our bodies. And by anemia because he was crawling with fleas. I decide it is A Very Good Idea to bathe him. He passed out completely. We thought we had killed him but he came around. Meanwhile I was flea combing him and drying him. That actually worked out for us. Then my husband wrapped him in a towel and was holding him because we thought it might calm him down.
    He had other ideas, and latched on to my husband’s right nipple and began to nurse furiously. That went pretty poorly, as you can imagine. Kitten claws and needle like kitten teeth… ugh. But really what I am trying to tell you is that once he sat on a plastic grocery bag and somehow got it wrapped around his tail and so he proceeded to pinball all over the apartment like the devil himself was after him. It took us almost an hour to get ahold of him and then try to get the bag off his tail AND his butt hole I don’t know if it was a fear reaction or what but that bag was stuck to his butt hole tight! It was like when he jumped up and started running it got vacuumed in… So I can completely relate to chasing a cat all over with something stuck to his butt.

    P.S. he broke a lot of things that day, and left T- rex worthy gouges in our brand new dining room table.
    P.P.S Thanks for being you. You got me out of a dark place more than once.

  92. Oh my gosh! I can hear you say all that in one breath. Hoping Ferris recovered. PS one of our pups’ middle name is Bueller which is mostly used when he’s in trouble. But may also be used to entertain the neighbors hearing us call him only by his middle name when he won’t come back in the house. I always wonder if it gives the neighbors flashbacks. His other nickname is Kramer, as in Seinfeld.

  93. RE: Bored Visitor

    Do you know the purpose of a blog? It is to tell the audience about what is happening in the blogger’s life. As a blogger’s life changes, so does the writing. No one is the same person they were 5, 3, 2, or even one year ago. So you should expect the blog to reflect on that. If it no longer interests you, then move on. Jenny, you just keep on being you.

  94. How adorable… the vintage tv project is just so fantastic. I’m not sure if you’ve seen the show “Flea Market Flip” but you should check it out. I think it’s on Netflix? I have a feeling you and Haley would be GREAT on that show… The show is about turning flea market finds into treasures 🙂

    You inspire me so much to have more balance in my life and to be more creative. I’m not so great at taking care of me and your blog reminds me to do that… feed the soul. Thank you for sharing your joy Jenny.

    Also the saga with Ferris absolutely made me laugh out loud like an old Irish witch. Reminds me of my many insane adventures with my Maltese who was like a naughty little kid much like Ferris. Keep up the good work.. deco-paging buttholes and all! 😉

  95. Oh my God, if the ghost already has boundary issues, I’m sure you shaving his butthole didn’t help – that’s also a very personal process 😉 But you’re right: Shit happend, it’s not your fault – now concentrate on how beautiful that TV/shelf looks!

  96. Many years ago one of my cats got herself stuck in a gift bag. Well her head got stuck. In the loops. She tore thru the house with this bag on her back (obviously fight AND flight took over) When I caught up to her, finally, all that was left were the loops and some shreds of the bag. I think it took a day for her eyes to undilate.

  97. Not too long ago I had thoughts of mounting an HD display in an old TV case kind of like that, I couldn’t work out the proportions and gave up, but I thought the idea was interesting. Current tech in a retro package. Hopefully minus the decoupage butthole in my case.

  98. No, poor Martha is definitely lacking in that kind of excitement!~! Your are just the best for keeping us alert to what could happen…..haha Laughing so hard and all the comments ARE worth reading!!!

  99. Holey Cow, I read that silently and still wanted to take a deep breath at the end. Poor Ferris, a traumatic intro to cat manscaping. As for the beard trimmer, tell Victor a little alcohol, let it air-dry, all’s good – it’s a trimmer, beard is just a suggestion. And that TV diorama is Awesome. Whatever you put in there I know will be way cool and blow me away, but my brain threw out T. Rex with pearls and cats-eye glasses; I usually tell my brain let’s think on that – maybe a stuffed iguana? And Thank You for reminding me why cats are only for serious pet parents. And also Thank You for putting a smile on the almost end of a seriously trying week that is testing the hell out of me. Tomorrow afternoon is a bone scan to see if daily calcium and D and yogurt (lactose intolerant) has kept me out of the osteoporosis zone. Fingers crossed.

    P.S. I bet Martha saves all the crazy shit that didn’t go as planned for a Christmas Party blooper reel. Probably gives out prizes for who’s idea was that?

  100. Similar story here. Visiting a friend, sitting in her living room chatting. She sniffed the air suddenly and said, “do you smell something burning?” Just then her cat tore thru the room. She chased her down. Turned out el gato was being curious in the bathroom and caught her tail on fire from a candle. She grabbed the cat and put her but under cold water. Luckily, no real burn just singed fur. Who was it who said, “Twas curiosity killed the cat!”?

  101. Sorry for the double-post but I kind of agree with #11. I know the bookstore and bookstore-related stuff is probably the biggest priority in your life right now, Jenny, but I just don’t know how you do all of this with your various mental illnesses, which is why I started reading your blog. I too suffer from depression and anxiety and I know you suffer even more than I do at times, I’m really happy if you’re “in remission” from all of that suffering but I’m not so my focus is really elsewhere right now. Of course I’m not telling you what you should write about and I celebrate your wellness. I guess I’m just jealous that I’m still suffering. My depression seems under control but the anxiety just comes in waves all day long. I can’t relate to you right now but I will still read whatever you want to write.


  102. You were the first person that I ever knew, not in person of course that spoke about anxiety and depression in a way that was so completely relatable to me and also, in a way that I could read and think that I was not so alone, and as crazy, as I thought I was

  103. You’re poor kitty, he must be traumatized! Poor thing, but I’m sure he’ll get over it. I’m glad he’s not licking that glue off his butt. 🙂

  104. It IS a cool craft project. And so is the TV.

    Good band name: Butt Veil Kitty.

  105. Gah, I used to get numbers on the comments but now I don’t. But to whoever Anonymous is about 8 comments above this, my sister-in-law had a similar problem with her cat. She turned on the burner on her stove (gas stove, real flame), turned away to get the pot and her cat (long haired white cat, she always said if anything could go wrong, it did with this cat) walked across the stove waving its tail and set its tail on fire. She turned back just in time to see it go up, yelled “OH MY GOD THE CAT’S ON “FIRE!” to my brother in the other room, threw the cat in the sink and turned on the water and it was out before my brother could make it into the room. No damage to the cat at all, the hair just flare up and poofed out, and the cat had no idea what had happened. She said the cat looked at her like “what the hell, woman? You just lost your mind……” and was rightly pissed off at having water poured all over him in the sink.

    (The WP team is trying to make my bog more mobile friendly and I think they many have dropped the numbering. I’ll ask if they can bring it back. Thanks for catching that! ~ Jenny)

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