A few days ago Victor was watching How To with John Wilson and this guy started talking about how Stouffer’s Stove Top Stuffing never existed even though he remembered it existing and Victor and I both laughed at him because CLEARLY Stouffer’s Stove Top Stuffing existed because we’d seen a million commercials for it when we were kids but then we looked it and IT NEVER EXISTED.
I mean, Stove Top Stuffing existed but apparently it was always made by Kraft and Stouffer’s never made it. I mentioned on twitter that I have fallen into a parallel timeline where Stouffer’s Stove Top Stuffing never existed and about half of the people were like, “Wtf. It totally did. What is my life?” and a quarter were like, “No, it existed” and sent me a photoshopped image of Stouffer’s Stove Top Stuffing used to illustrate how a ton of us all remember something that never existed and a quarter were like, “Ah, the Mandela Effect. Do you also insist that they were always the Bearnstein Bears rather than the Bearenstain Bears?” AND YES BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT ALWAYS WAS.
But apparently not. (No seriously, look it up.)
So then Victor found a whole list of Mandela Effect examples (a phenomenon where a shitload of people all believe an event occurred which didn’t) and Victor refused to believe that C3PO had a silver leg and I screamed “WITCHCRAFT” when it was pointed out that the Wicked Queen never said “Mirror, mirror on the wall” and then I had to leave the house to clear my head and when I came back Victor was like, “Remember that cartoon on Captain Kangaroo? (Sings) Well you know my name is...”
And I sang, “-Simon, and the things I draw come true” because that song has been stuck in my head for decades and he was like, “Nope. Edmund. Not Simon. It’s always been Edmund.”
And I was like, “THE HELL YOU SAY” and then I decided that nothing in the world can be trusted again and that all of this is a sign that whatever coma I’ve been in is wearing off. So I whisper-sang it to myself…”Well you know my name is…Edmund?” and frowned in shocked disgust and then Victor was like, “Nah, I’m just fucking with you. It’s Simon. It’s always been Simon” and that’s why I’m filing for divorce.
Edited to add: