Well that was a fucking day, y’all.

in Random Crap

So yesterday I took Dorothy Barker to the vet for her annual shots and everything was fine other than Dottie trying to ineffectively attack everyone who got near her with a needle with her ridiculously tiny teeth (“We’re putting ‘land-shark’ in her chart.” ~ my actual vet) and it was all fine until I was driving home and Dottie started projectile horking all over the car floor, the car seats and me and I was trying to talk to her reassuringly while struggling not to hurl myself as she went full exorcist so I raced back to the vet while covered in vomit and I saw a cop with his lights on and I was pretty sure I was going to be pulled over but also fairly certain he was going to rue the day once he looked inside the seventh circle of hell currently covering so much more area than you would imagine an 8 pound dog could ever produce but he kept going because honestly he could probably smell it from his car and then when I got back to the vets office they fixed her up with meds but then when I got back home her face started swelling up so I called the vet and they were like, “Give her some pepcid” and I was like, “She’s not vomiting anymore. She’s totally empty” and they were like, “No, pepcid helps with allergic reactions” and then I wondered if I was even taking Dottie to a real vet at all but she assured me that the benadryl they’d already given her and the pepcid would work well together but that meant that I had to get her to eat the pepcid and Dottie was not having it so I mixed it up with peanut butter and she was like, “Bitch, what. I just threw up things I ate in the 80s. What are you doing?” and I was like, “I DON’T KNOW. I’M JUST FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS. And also, you weren’t even alive in the 80s” and she was like, “Well, put on a rain poncho because you’ll be seeing this shit again in 15 seconds” but she kept it down and her snoot shrunk almost back to normal size but we had to watch her to make sure she wasn’t getting worse so I stayed up until 1am rocking a pitiful puppy who wanted to be swaddled and/or not touched at all alternately every 5 minutes and that’s how I know that I am no longer prepared to be the mother of a newborn anymore.

Long story short, Dottie is fine (but irritable, fragile and sleepy) and I know exactly how she feels.

How was your yesterday?

Swole snoot. Contemplating horking. Probably dreaming she had real teeth to bite the vet with.

168 thoughts on “Well that was a fucking day, y’all.”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. I wish I could attach a photo to my comment because my 100 pound dog unleashed the most rancid liquid shit upon my backseat yesterday and I was gagging and it cost me $200 to get it cleaned and it still smells a little funky and the dog is totally fine. So it must have been something in the air.

  4. Poor Dorothy Barker! So scary for both of you. I’m glad she’s OK. She reminds me so much of my papillons.

  6. You haven’t lived until you’ve had to continue driving while someone in your car is vomiting everywhere, amirite?

  8. As a fellow bookstore owner AND owner of a dog named for Dorothy Parker who has been barfing a lot, I FEEL YOU ON THIS. The Pepcid, I learned, works! I hope your Dot is better soon.

  9. Oh man – my dog had a reaction like this to her first set of full shots. OTC Benadryl did nothing so I had to take her back to the vet for the good stuff and her little snout was SO swollen. Hope Dottie is feeling better!

  10. I’m glad she’s feeling better, but I’m sorry she experienced that. I do SO love the way you describe them when horrid things happen.

  12. Glad she is recovering. Poor baby. You too. Nothing will make me feel more helpless than a pet who cannot use actual words while they are ill.

  15. ((HUGS)) I am holding y’all both in love and light…and hope for no more horking!

  16. Oh Jenny, I’m so sorry. I’m so glad Dorothy is doing better now! Part of me was laughing, but horrified and on a whole new level of empathy with this story. Take care my dear.

    PS ALMOST DONE WITH BROKEN AND I LOVE IT AND YOU!!

  17. Man! I’m so sorry this happened to you both! I’m glad everyone is doing better.

  19. ok, now imagine instead of a smole dog, this was a large bird barfing all over the car and there you have my childhood

  21. Stop giving yearly shots to your dog. Her reaction was more than enough evidence that they are doing more harm than good. You don’t get yearly vaccinations do you? No. Do titers if you are concerned, but she will never need another vaccination again in her lifetime, except Rabies, and that should be for at least seven years, but they make you give it every 3…sad.

    (I mean, I get a yearly flu vaccine, so yeah. She’s required to have them to be boarded or groomed or all that, but maybe in the future I can get an exception because this was not fun. ~ Jenny)

  24. Oh no, so sorry! I had a similar thing happen to me and my papillon after a vet visit. After a few more bad reactions from vaccinations, our vet determined she was allergic to all vaccines and it was safer to go without. She was perfectly healthy after that.

  27. Oh no! I’m glad you’re both recovering from such a traumatic ordeal!

  28. Poor Dorothy. We have a cat that has reactions to her vaccines and now gets Benedryl before so that she doesn’t get sick from them. I also have another cat that parades through the houses when she silently vomits over every possible surface. Oh the things we put up with to have their company grace our homes.

  29. The planets were definitely having a war or something yesterday. Maybe someone pissed off Venus? Every woman I know (none of the men tho, figures!) had a terrible day yesterday. Glad to hear you and Dottie are better today! On the upside, totally justified to pay a professional to detail your car now, and it will be all fresh and clean and lovely after! 🙂

  30. They give people pepcid for allergic reactions too. Once I ended up in the ER with a bad asthma attack/allergic reaction and they gave me expensive prescription pepcid.

  31. Poor pupper. I’m glad she’s okay now. But yikes, she’s probably not going to want to go to the vet next time either 😬

  32. I’m glad she’s feeling better. Also, I’m feeling much better about the week I’ve been having so thanks for that.

  33. My 4 pound papillon Birdie (she’s undersized) says Dorothy looks very fierce and can totally bite people, she was just holding back. Totally.

  34. That’s the best run-on sentence ever, especially since Dottie ended up okay. Pet parenting can be a real b*tch sometimes, but they’re worth it.

  35. I was reading this, and all I could think of is Santa Clarita Diet when Drew Barrymore throws up pretty much her entire body weight in the bathroom of the house she’s trying to sell. And I’m so sorry, because this isn’t funny, I’m sure it was terrifying and I’m glad Dorothy Parker is ok. Just to be sure, though, you didn’t see any kind of seed in all that vomit, did you? And Dorothy Barker isn’t biting more than usual, or taking chunks of people’s flesh?
    I’m kidding, days spent at the vet like that are always the worst, and I’m glad all is well and I hope you got a good deal on getting your car detailed, because vomit of any kind is no joke. Better days!!!

  36. Dear Jenny,

    I am a Huge!!!!!!! Fan. I am also a Vet and a dog Mom of 6. I am laughing and feeling very sympathetic all at the same time. Any good Karma I have is headed your way. I want to thank you for all you do. Veterinarians now have the highest suicide rate of any profession and you help me and many others stay same every day!

  38. Aww, poor thing – hope she is feeling much better today. Just a thought, might have been a reaction to the vaccines? Annual vaccines are often not necessary as dogs retain immunity for many years, if not their lifetime. Titers will measure the antibodies in the blood to determine if necessary. My 13 year old dog’s rabies titer was 4x the antibodies required, 3 years after his rabies shot….just sayin’; so glad Dottie is better!

  39. I really shouldn’t have laughed as hard as I did at this. I’m very glad you both survived.

  40. OMG poor Dorothy and poor YOU! i just took my cat to the vet on Saturday and she proceeded to fear poo (is that a thing) al over herself and her carrier on the way there (poor vet techs who had to deal with…that). I’m so glad both of you have recovered but wow, that is awful. Dare I ask how your car is doing?

  41. My childhood dog, a 25-pound terrier mix, was the reason I did not become a veterinarian. He was a terror at the vet office. I found out many years later that the vets at the practice would draw straws to see who would have to deal with my dog. Also, this was in the days where the owner held the dog for a procedure, no vet techs. I learned to wear old clothes to vet appointments because I would be covered in hair and dog spittle. Glad Miss Dorothy is feeling better.

  42. I love Dorothy Barker. So many hidden skills/talents
    …And horking. …And the most descriptive run-on sentence ever, EVER. The VA found me a female therapist; waiting time for appointment: SIX WEEKS. My mind has turned inside out twice since then, guess I can last another eight days.
    Believe me when I say, I couldn’t do it without you and funny doggo videos. Hug all your creatures for me. As always, many thanks

  43. Glad Dorthey Barker is better this morning. You have a smart Vet!
    Pepcid works to stop the Histamine cascade triggering symptoms in humans too! I have weird allergies to some very common foods like Coconut (WHY it it in everything now!?!)and learned this only about 8 years ago after an accidental poisoning at a Comic Com. Still had remaining reactions after initial medical treatment, it worked wonders!
    Pro tip: the Generic Famotidine at the big box club stores IS the same as Pepcid for way less $$

  45. Feeling you Boo. My dog is in a cone from surgery. He’s not amused with me referring to him as “my cone-y dog” as I am

  46. Omg that SUCKS. Reminds me of the time my older cat had a blockage and they gave her laxatives and thought they’d waited long enough but they didn’t and she had diarrhea all over the back of the car.

    Also! There are two types of antihistamines. H1 blockers and H2 blockers and together they work beautifully! I have a Mast Cell Activation disorder and I take Pepcid and Allegra together twice a day to keep things a little under control. Without it, I often can’t breathe well in the warmer months. Good call on their part!

  47. Holy crap! Poor puppers. I’m glad you both survived, and be sure to include that in your carmax report when you sell the car today.

  48. Awwwww – poor Dottie! I’m glad you are there to simultaneously cuddle her/not touch her.

  51. Although a very stressful day, your retelling is HILARIOUS! So happy your Dorothy Barker vomits no more and you, I assume, now have on clean clothes. Thanks for sharing and putting perspective to my day.

  52. Poor sweet baby! I’d try to bite everyone in sight too, if I was feeling nauseous and then they were trying to stick me with needles. Dorothy Barker has my sympathies. My family dog used to get spider bites that made her face swell up and she would end up in the bottom of the bed under the covers hiding her itchy swollen face. Then she had allergic dermatitis and had to be given Benadryl and Pepcid regularly to keep it at bay. I think the preservatives in vaccines cause a lot of allergies, good thing the Pfizer covid vaccine doesn’t have any in it and therefore has to be kept frozen at very low temperatures, I was less nervous about allergic reactions because of that fact.
    You’re such a good dog mommy, and as any mommy can tell you, children and pets equals vomit, poop, pee and biting at some point. But we love them more than anything anyway.
    Make sure she gets her titers and is up to date on rabies and distemper, and keep her away from wildlife and other dogs and both their poop, don’t put her in kennels or doggie daycare, and then like an indoor cat, she won’t be exposed to infectious sources.

  53. My dog has been trying to eat his body weight in cicadas. His vomit was like something from a horror movie, complete cicadas mixed with kibble. I wasn’t sure if I should call the vet or an exorcist….

  55. Poor babydog!

    My 100 pound German Shepherd had his horkfest last week. He ruined all three dog beds in a matter of a few hours. (Honestly, I’m thankful it wasn’t MY bed). No explanation and he’s totally fine now. I’ll be replacing his dog beds with ones that have plastic liners! Animals are nasty. Lucky they’re cute.

  56. Why is it that even your crises (crisises? crisees?) can become a hilarious blog post? I have a scarily-vivid image in my mind now of Dottie doing the exorcist thing all over the car. I’m glad she’s doing better, and good job doggie-mommy! I have taken my dog to (very very expensive) after-hours vet visits after freaking out and not knowing what to do multiple times (once he ate a piece of a garbage bag and was having trouble breathing, a $700-dollar after-hours vet visit was made, he *stopped gasping* and acted totally fine when we got there!!).
    (But I will gladly pay that bill and will always always err on the side of caution after my last dog died unexpectedly and I still can’t stop wondering if she would’ve lived if I’d taken her to the vet earlier…)

  57. We had a long haired cat with uncontrollable diarrhea. The only solution was to plop her in the bathtub and gag our way through cleaning her. Poo is my cryptonite (I’m an RN and worked in surgery for 25 years so I have seen smelled a lot, lol)
    Sorry you had to go through that…..but thank God for benadryl and pepci!

  59. Sending love to both of you! We just had our kitty, Khufu, into the vet for an upper respiratory infection. Oof. So glad Dorothy Barker is okay!!

  60. Pepcid blocks the histamine reaction in the gut. Works great w benadryl for fast relief and bad allergic reactions

  63. It must have been a tough pet kind of day. Our cat Dusty went to the vet because he stopped eating for a day and only wanted to hide in small dark spaces. While I get that on a deep emotional level, it was not normal behavior for him. Turns out he was reacting to something that stressed him out – no idea what. $400 and 24 hours later, he is perky and fine. I would like to be a cat.

  64. Pingback: Well that was a fucking day, y’all. – My Test Website

  65. We got a Dachshund puppy and we’re housebreaking him. Then the two older dogs decided to regress. Sporadic episodes of spite-poop ensued. Puppy thinks that looks fun!
    Jenny, if that happened in my car, I’d have to set it on fire and push it off a cliff.

  66. Girl I am so sorry for all of you. I too have an 8lb land shark. He will hold his poop inside until it pushing on his stomach and then he “horks” up everything.
    But still we love them.

  67. Took our beagle/Boston rescue to the vet yesterday for her shots and because she was itchy. Turns out she has seasonal allergies that require expensive allergy shots. Last time we took her for shots and teeth cleaning after we rescued her, her teeth started to fall out as they tried to clean and they had to pull 20!! I’m afraid of what expensive thing she’ll come up with next time!! Luckily she’s adorable 🙂

  68. Poor little pupper. We had a sneezy little cat (she has allergies) that got an upper respiratory infection (now clear), and lost even more weight and was already tiny. While her twin, who was originally the smallest, now is three of her … but the worry about all of them all the time says it’s good we never had children.

  69. My yesterday (well technically Monday) I got a splinter ON a blister on my foot and while I was trying to get it out my daughter screamed bc her pet frog died and her screaming woke her brothers and the younger one started crying. So I sent the older one in to comfort him and he told his little brother about the frog. And the younger one started hyperventilating while crying. Meanwhile my daughter is heartbroken and my husband isn’t touching the frog and I’m trying to remove a splinter without rupturing a blister so I can help. I think the splinter is still there actually and the blister got bigger but didn’t break. And I hobbled off to calm everyone down and find a frog coffin so we could bury it in the rain.

    I’m glad your dog is better.

  70. So funny story… a few months ago my Dottie (an English setter with long floppy ears) had a bird (she caught in the back yard) take a teeny tiny little nip out of one of her ears. And it bled……every where. So me and the kids wrangle her into my car fleeing in a panic to the vet and what does she do? Shakes her head freeing the Geyser of murder elixir all over every surface of my car. After having it detailed the murder Mobile still looks like a crime scene because the heat set the blood and ibhave to get the whole headliner replaced. But it’s not smeared down my windows anymore. Then a few days later I got pulled over and I can’t find anything I need, the cop I waiting patiently until he spots the blood every where. Looks at me square in the face and says ‘ma’am is their something I should know?’

  71. Yesterday I cried because my 16 year old grandson is in the hospital paralyzed on one side of his body, one week after he had the 2nd covid shot. Not sure if it’s from the shot or MS.

  72. Poor baby! And poor you! My sister’s cat has a red card at the vet: “Known biter.”

  74. Poor Dottie. The vet is correct about Pepcid. I have had a few anaphylactic allergic reactions. They gave me Pepcid in my IV at the ER and sent me home with a prescription for it. I now carry it in my EpiPen kit.

  75. My dog Moya, had an allergic reaction to her shots once. From that point on, her vet made us do 2 annual visits. So they could split up her shots…she didn’t have a reaction again after that. I guess for these little once like Dottie and Moya, all the shots in one visit is too much.
    Love to Dottie. Glad she isn’t a mumps-mouth anymore.
    Love to you…I hope you were able to get all the vom out of 1) your car, 2) your clothes, 3) you.

    Elizabeth

  76. Poor Dorothy!!! I feel your pain. I was deep in la-la-land this morning to be awakened by Baby Kitty barfing up water all over me and my bed. He is in kidney failure and has cancer and pretty much only drinks water. I am force-feeding him to try to hold onto him a little longer. God help us all!

  78. My 5 pound dog ate almost an entire foot long steak and cheese sub. She made it through the night without vomiting so I thought she was fine. Came home from work the next day to find puke on almost every piece of furniture in the house, including soaked infamy mattress. I wanted to just buy new furniture instead of cleaning it up. 😁😁

  79. The worst smell in the world. Adventure time crossing a long bridge with two adolescent blue heeler pups in the back seat.
    Pup one starts projectile horking – second pup joins in – excited and shamed they are leaping around like unmanned fire hoses. At this point we discover it’s because they have managed to eat the entire contents of our cats litter box- bright green Lucerne litter plus our cats copious poop and wee.
    Cat poo channelled through a dogs guts is now hot spray on the backs of our heads – car windows and everywhere else.
    We are leaning out of windows trying not to hoik ourselves- because we cannot pull over on the long bridge
    This lasts in real time for 4 minutes – in lived time 400 years of weep worthy stench

  80. Ps – halfway across projectile diarrhoea was added to the fray- also bright green…

  81. I am in total awe that you managed not to hork! With six cats, there’s always puke somewhere in the house and it always makes me gag cleaning it up. Last year we got a great puke disposal kit, a PittiePlott who loves cleaning it up for us. Glad Dorothy Barker is doing better!

  82. This exact thing happened to me! Poor old Pickles gets her vaccines and then we are home and there is vomit everywhere and her face looks like she swallowed bees. Back to emergency vet to confirm allergic reaction, get Benadryl and make sure chart now reflects that she needs vaccines spaced out! Sorry this happened to you and Dorothy!

  83. Wow what an emotional story! And I thought I had an emotional day at the doctors this week. (My gyno doc, not a vet doc) After 2 separate mammogram appointments, various opinions and an ultrasound my results came all clear. No further research or biopsy required. Such a relief!
    My “dense tissue” is not as fun or humorous as the term may let on. Ugh. Tears, emotions and cheers of joyous relief as I wanted to hug the radiology specialist. She was too kind and professional with my emotional mess.

    Glad Dorothy is feeling better. Sounds like we all could use a cold drink and a nap to wave off the heat and emotions.

  84. Oh I totally feel for you both! I had a similar experience when I picked up my brothers Beagle “Alfie” from doggy daycare. I was told that during a wind storm one of the two Beagles they watched had eaten a bunch of branches but they were not sure if it was Dory or Alfie. Instinctively I just knew it was Alfie and just as I pulled into the street the heaving started and branches combined with green foam began spewing everywhere!! It was a miracle we made it home in one piece as I know there were a few times I was making very illegal maneuvers tying to put a car garbage over the muzzle of a puking Beagle!

  85. So sorry you and Dotty had to got through this! Thank you for being a responsible pet owner and getting Dotty her shots and taking care of her in her try outs of performing in the doggie version of the exorcist and following rehab.

    Please don’t let this one experience keep you from getting the vet recommended shots for your pup! I’m sure you’ll discuss it with your vet and do what’s best for her and her animal friends 🙂

  86. Is she an Aussie? If so they have a gene that makes them resistant and sick with certain vaccines. Ours doesn’t have it but your vet can do a test to see if she does. If she does there are also a lot of heart worm and flea and tick meds that will also be dangerous

  88. Ohmygod!!! Thank you for waiting until she was better. I would have been up all night waiting for further news. I love that precious little girl so much!!!!!

  89. I have a video of my son’s pit bull politely heaving and vomiting into a plastic bag that my son was holding open under her face. I felt bad for her, but can’t help laughing every time I watch the video. It was mystery horking–no apparent cause and total unmedicated recovery. I suspect it might be related to the dead squirrel we found her sniffing around in my back yard the day before. My two dogs have a great killer instinct for squirrels and possums, but rarely do anything with the corpses other than walk away from them as they say “you’re welcome” to me for defending me against the vicious threats they’ve saved me from.

  90. Oh no! Poor puppy and poor you for all the dog vomit. Looks like Victor or Hailey should take Dorothy to the vet from now on, as you probably have “going to the vet PTSD” now, right?

    Glad she’s feeling better – hope you are too.

  91. I feel so much of this. In so many ways. Including the very small pet who projectile vomits bucketloads everywhere.

    Sending you lots of love and clean vibes. ❤️

  92. What a day! Our Big Lug, Jasper, gets the sploots on occasion. It is his own fault because he manages to eat something no other 134 pound dog would even consider. No matter. Because we are old, we both stay up with him. His Vets are used to the calls, and we don’t get past, “Jasper ate…” before they say we are to bring him in.

  93. OMG poor puppy, poor you! Coincidentally today I found some old vomit in my nearly new car from one of my puppies. Neither one fessed up. So I get to clean it up. More joy.

  94. That was an incredible sentence, LOL! From funny to upset to nervous to peanut butter on Pepcid all at once!

  95. Love to your little land shark from my cat, who has red stickers all over her vet file for being “difficult.” ❤️🐾

  96. I hope today has been a better day for Dorothy Barker and you too Jenny! XO

  98. Sounds like an awful day, at least puppy is okay…..seems like you both should have a pj and couch day after that trauma. Maybe some wine for you Maybe not for puppy

  99. Poor puppy dog.
    And poor YOU for having to deal with all that vomit.

    Dogs and small children—capable of producing more vomit than you think is even possible.

  100. Awww Poor baby! Did she have an allergic reaction to her shots? I wonder which one caused it? My little girl ran out to the patio and before we could stop her (because she is piggy) she had eaten something off the ground and I couldn’t see what it was. But we have many raccoons that think they are domesticated cats and come around brazenly at all hours and stare at you when you remind them that they are WILD ANIMALS and therefore need to leave and be free. Anyway, she was sitting on my husband’s lap and all of a sudden just spewed yellow bile on the ground, down his leg…same thing – 7th level of hell and then threw up whatever it was she ate whole with more bile. We couldn’t tell if it was a cat hairball, or part of some dead animal or what but it was certainly GROSS. We brought her in and she had lots of water and then a few hours later ate her dinner like normal. So scary. I’m glad your girl is better and you both survived the ordeal!!

  103. Ya and that is exactly why I always keep my pets in carriers when I transport them around. Don’t want my car covered in vomit, poo or pee. Plus if they do have an accident I know it’s only going to be in the carrier which is easy to clean with a hose, the car not so easy.

  106. My yesterday sucked. My anxiety was off the charts. This whole week has sucked.

  107. Oh man, you and Dorothy deserve only good things from now until eternity. Glad she is OK. Wishing you an uneventful rest of the week.

  108. My dog puked pumpkin and kibble in a massive pile of nasty on my living room rug. Every time I tried to put something under her mouth she moved to a new spot. Now my rug has pumpkin and bile stains in 7 spots. 😐

  109. Poor puppy!! My day was weird. So exhausted and when I finally flopped on the sofa I was out cold for more than 2 hours. Of course couldn’t fall asleep until 4 am.

  110. Love my furr-boy so much. Totally sympathize with your struggle today. Glad you didn’t get a ticket.

    Hugs and hang in there. Glad your girl is ok.

  111. I was driving with a friend after we ate burgers at a restaurant. She was driving and we were on the expressway when she started projectile vomiting while going 60 mph. She managed to make it to an exit while still throwing up. She pulled into a Red Lobster ( irony?) and luckily had a big towel in the back seat to kind of clean up. But she’s such a good friend that although there was vomit all over her and her side of the car, none got on me.

  112. Bless Dorothy Barker’s heart and bless you’re heart but damn… this made me laugh so hard. I hope everyone feels better. 💙💙💙

  113. I think this puking after the vet is going around
    My kid brought over their foster rescue and she puked all the way home.
    Then we took Desmond (orange kitty) to the vet and they had to draw blood which means they get out this cute tiny razor and shave his leg before they draw the blood. Of course Desmond fought t the whole time and coming home I hear the puking start. Just glad I put him in the plastic cat carrier and not the soft sided one! He has a tumor on his thyroid so he has to take thyroid suppressing meds and he has lived an extra 18 months so I am happy, puking or not puking.

  114. A non-vomity vet story. I took my son’s 6 pound Chihuahua to the vet for her shots. She *screamed* so loud and so long that people in the waiting room thought they were killing her, and all were amazed that all that noise came out of such a tiny dog.

  116. I hope the puppy is feeling better, and so glad you made it through it all. I know it may sound strange, but your story made me Laugh Out Loud ! Thanks for all You do Jenny !

  117. Many years ago, my G’ma asked me to give her sister a ride home. I took our new puppy with me bc dogs love car rides, right? He was tiny and wanted to lay on my shoulder. I drove with Bear to pick up my great aunt. We were about halfway to her house when I felt Bear’s stomach heave on my shoulder. Then my great aunt started yelling “Shawna! SHAWNA SHAAAWNA” I knew what was coming and I just started laughing as he is puking down my back. My aunt was gagging and still hollering my name. I can still hear her even though both G’ma and her have been gone for several years. That’s how I found out Bear got car sick. EVERY TIME. Glad Dottie is ok. That stuff is scary.

  121. Well… since you asked… I was “spit up on” (in large quantities) 5 times and urinated on once yesterday. Yes… I work with children. But by the 5th time, I was like “Come ooooonnnn!”

    Glad Dottie is doing better.

  122. Glad you’re both okay! What an ordeal. Closest I can recount is when I decided to give my baby son a treat and take him for a bicycle ride in his papoose thing on my back (this was decades ago before bike helmets, etc. were on my radar) and he made it all of a half mile before he puked half his body weight all over the back of my head and down my neck.

  123. My Stella,(chihuahua who also doubles as Air Jaws stun shark from the Discovery channel), reacts to almost every damn vaccine now. We have to get her pre pre pre treatment for each vaccine, and everytime I just about have a mental breakdown because I worry about my baby so much. I am so sorry that happened to your furbaby and yourself. * HUGE HUGS*

  124. My yesterday was better than yours, but I stupidly started my day reading this and trying to eat my bran cereal (Cause I WAS around in the 80’s…) and now I have some stuck up my nostril. Thanks, Jennie. THANKS A LOT.

  125. Oof. One time I was driving with my 60# Border Collie/Great Pyrenees and she barfed the poop she had eaten that morning when I wasn’t looking… all over the mat in the back. I pulled into the nearest parking lot and threw away the mat. There is no coming back from that! She also had an allergic reaction once that blew her smooshy face up huge. It was ridiculously cute and sad.

  127. Glad to know that Dorothy “Landshark” Barker is feeling better. At least she didn’t go all Linda “Exorcist” Blair on you!

  128. God your description reminds me of driving around with my sick dog last year…. I actually now possess a lot of photos of revolting dog vomit (and one demonic dog poo) that I use to send back to unsolicited dick pics now. Glad your pup made it through that, and you too, big pat on the back because fur mama-ing is not easy.

  129. So glad she is ok. That happened to my mini dachshund after the leptospirosis shot. Her face was so swollen she looked like a shar pei within minutes of the vomiting and hives in her ears. Terrifying.

  130. Ohhhh, we had this happen too! My poor husband had to sprint 4 very long blocks with 23 pounds of honking, wriggling pug in his arms. Not puking, just literally honking like a goose. It was hard to notice the swelling at first, but she started dragging her wrinkly lil face across the floor…

  131. At least her head wasn’t spinning round while shouting your mother’s sucks cocks in hell. The power of christ compels you…

  134. Aawwww! Poor both of you! I am not looking forward to taking my psycho cat Houdini to the vet today!

  135. Oh my!!! What a scary day for you both! My tiny pupper was stung on the eyelid by a jerk wasp yesterday… lousy pupper day for sure! Here’s is a sleepy and relaxing day for all.

  136. My 15 lb pup just had his yearly exam and they will only give him 2 shots at a time. We have to go back 2 weeks later for the other two because he is smol. See if they will consider splitting them up in the future. Maybe it will help. Poor pup.

  137. Omg my puppy had same reaction at a vet visit. Hurling everywhere on ride home. Turned the vomit car around for them to give her benedryl. Hope Dorothy Barker is feeling better.

  138. I am a beekeeper, and the pepcid trick is a well known thing for people who have reactions to stings. So at least on that particular thing you do have a real vet. But STILL SUPER SCARY and I hope you can get your car clean.

  139. Yesterday was a good. Last Monday not so much – kitchen faucet decided hot water should be on 24/7. Parts bought is not fit. Replacement faucet roomie hated, while buying it some a-hole hit my car. So very first auto insurance claim EVER to have Little Miss Maine Coon hork on the 2nd step at 3am….

  140. Poor pupper! Poor you! Our 70 pound dog barfed from the back seat into my daughter’s hair while she was driving him to the vet. I’m impressed she managed to hold it together until she got there.

  141. Thanks for a (typically for you) hilarious retelling of a (w)retched event. Take care!

  142. My yesterday wasn’t quite that hectic, but I did have to snooze my brother and his wife for 30 days on Facebook because they’re having this horrific fight with my sister and her husband, and now they’ve attacked my dad for “supporting her (sister)” when, in fact, he asked Brother to not involve my mom in his fight because the stress isn’t good for her chronic health issues.

    Oh, and I’m on the autism spectrum and this is all making me stim like fucking mad. I think I need to make some fidget jewelry.

    /ramblerant

  144. I did the neighbor a favor once by making an appointment for a spay for the stray he took in, transported her to the vet, paid for the surgery and drove her home. Daisy was so frightened in the car she clawed my upholstery to shreds, whined and paced, vomited everywhere including down the inaccessible area where the window is located, her girl parts were so screwed up it took two vets to sort it out ($400). She lived a very happy long life. I also had a Jack Russell rescue (James ‘I Feel Good’ Brown) who stuck his nose down a hole and was bitten by a rattlesnake. Had to have a vial of antivenom ($750/vial) and spend the night at the emergency vet. He came home as feisty as ever. A year later, he did it again!! And had a 60-pound heeler mix rescue (Sweet Georgia Brown) who, the first time I took her in the car and saw bicyclists, she attacked me – the driver! On a two lane, narrow road with a cliff on one side. Future car rides were in a crate. Glad Dottie is OK. Love our furbabies.

  146. Pingback: Well that was a fucking day, y’all. – Dine.ga

  147. Damn animals!!! They have no idea how much we love and care for them! My fur babies/ hell spawn home me micro heart attacks every day! They are harder to keep alive than human children and alot more expensive! But we love em! My heart goes out to you and little Miss Land Shark! 🙂

  148. Why are the littlest dogs the biggest pains in the ass? (says the man who is controlled by a 10-pound hound…)

  149. You named her Dorothy Barker…isn’t ‘barking’ slang for throwing up? Just saying. Glad she is better. Hard to deal with illness in animals and babies and they have no idea when you try to comfort them that there is a better time coming.

  150. So sorry you had to go through this. We went through something similar a few weeks ago with Dewey the Parakeet. We were getting the kids ready for bed when my youngest son started screaming for us. Dewey was in his cage puking everywhere. Now, parakeets can regurgitate seed when they’re happy (they say “I love you” by trying to feed you), but this definitely wasn’t happy-puking. He was also being extremely cuddly

    Unfortunately, our vet was closed and no vet in the area treats birds. My wife called every vet in a hundred mile radius and even some beyond hoping to get SOME clue as to what to do.

    Meanwhile, Dewey dropped to the floor of his cage. This is a VERY bad sign. Birds usually only do this if they are deathly ill. My younger son was in tears while trying to reassure Dewey that it was going to be okay (as I tried to reassure my son that it would be okay). Dewey shakily was standing on my son’s finger, looking like he’d fall off any second.

    Finally, my oldest son remembered that he did this once last year when we changed the type of food in his dish. We had done the same recently (adding a food that’s supposed to help with molting). We dumped the food and gave him his old food. After much happy eating, Dewey stopped puking and seemed much better. Basically, he didn’t like his food so he started starving himself to death.

    We took him to the vet a week later (earliest appointment we could get with him seemingly better) and they verified that he’s healthy and that this can happen when food is changed. Still, I think my 14 year old son got his first grey hair that day.

  151. Tiny dogs get the same amount of antigen as giant ones. Their bodies can’t handle it.

    My 6 lb poodle came to me one month past the due date for her rabies vax which meant the local law required me to get another one year shot. Eleven months and 29 days later I got her the 3 year shot. Per the vet, same exact stuff in the bottle. Literally no difference.

    I did one more 3 year shot. All three times she had liver trouble within a month that cost me a small fortune to fix. Once I read that a rabies vaccine technically is effective for around SEVEN years but communities like to keep the requirement at ONE year so prevent people from forgetting and vets like to keep it at one year so they can get paid more, I decided NOT to re-up for another 3 years plus another round of liver failure.

    I never renewed her license again and since she was so tiny she was never outside alone, ever. She lived out her days without another vaccine. I found a supportive vet and a supportive groomer. We either took her on vacays if we drove or hired a friend’s kid to house sit if we just wanted a break.

    Jenny, please know that once the immune system is triggered it can become more reactive. Yes, the next vaccine could cause the same reaction. It could possibly cause death. But not just vaccines. Food ingredients, shampoos, other chemicals. Please be watchful so you can get antihistimines/inhibitors into Dottie at the very first sign of trouble!

  152. I feel like a complete asshole because I’m laughing so hard right now. Mostly because I had this exact day once back in the early aughts and it was THE. WORST. Hope everyone gets back to good soon!

  153. Oh your poor pup and you! Pepcid is actually an H2 antihistamine. That means it binds to the H2 histamine receptors in the body. I think it’s action in limiting stomach acid is just coincidental. I only know this because I have MCAS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome) and Pepcid is a common medication to treat this disorder specifically for its antihistamine properties. I have allergic reactions to it now so it’s out for me but I’m so glad it helped your pup!

  154. RE: Karifur’s “You haven’t lived until you’ve had to continue driving while someone in your car is vomiting everywhere, amirite?”
    But you haven’t REALLY lived until you’ve managed to continue driving while YOU are puking. (Yay me, and I did it without getting any hork in the car. (But granted, Jenny, your experience was still SO much worse!)

  157. Bar bar bar bar barfy girl.
    Bar bar bar bar barfy girl.
    Oh, barfy gir-r-rl,
    you sure can hur-r-rl.

    (From experience with a barferina dog)

    I hope Dottie feels better today

  158. Poor Dottie! Solidarity from our cat Sasquatch, who had to have an enema earlier this year. There was a… well, “Poonami” is the only word for it. In her carrier. In the car. On the highway driving home. There was then a full-body bath.

    Plus she had a horrible reaction to the sedative which dilated her pupils and caused her to be agitated and stumbling drunk for about 24 hours afterwards, which was not awesome for an 18-year-old cat with bad arthritis…

  159. Oy, that sounds like no fun. I also have a pet who gets very aggressive with the vet. Although he’s sweet with us at home, our cat acts like an insane, feral animal at the vet office. Even with 3 sedatives he is still A Very Difficult Patient. Sometimes they even give him surgery gas to just handle him. Well, hope Dottie feels better!

  160. My puppy had a similar reaction to her first set of puppy shots, so now the vet makes sure to give her a shot of Benadryl before each vaccination and we haven’t had any problems since. I hope that works for Dorothy Barker in the future! Hugs to you both ❤️

  161. Pingback: The Sunday Paper: Chapter 16 | Random and Sundry Things

  162. Those “tiny” teeth still hurt (why not try them some time?) – I’m a vet…I’m sorry she had such a traumatic experience though (vaccine in car park next time? Have you thought of muzzle training her?)

  163. Our 110 pound Golden retriever/Newfoundlander cross (I call him a Gewf!) was crate trained. When he was still a (very large) puppy, we learned the hard way that flavoured Nylar bones do not agree with his tummy. We got up one morning to find that he’d had EXPLOSIVE diarrhea in his crate… but actually no longer in the crate. It had exploded out through the wire crate in our kitchen, all over the floor, walls, side of the fridge, and dripping from the cupboard doors. Meanwhile he was lying sheepishly(?) – or mortally embarrassed – in a large puddle of liquid shit, which was caked all over his long black fur. THAT was gag-worthy. Our kitchen was never again bleached clean as thoroughly as that day.

  164. PS. I am a GP-Psychotherapist in Ontario Canada, and I LOVE your books and all your posts!!! It is recommended reading for all my anxiety and depression patients!
    Besides, I am a great believer in laughter therapy.
    Thank you for all that you do❤️ and I hope you keep doing it!!

  165. Oh my! I feel you. Last week my dog puked…she had eaten a hairball the cat left behind. Animals are gross, but I couldn’t live without them!
    I’m just glad Dorothy Baker is better!

  166. So this is an annual routine – the shots!! Maybe next year you ask the vet if you can drop Dottie for her shots – while you “run a few errands” you tell the vet, and then happen to get a flat on the way back to pick Dot up!!!!!! 😉😎

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This month’s book club picks are fire. For @fantasticstrangelings we have Lucky Red by @claudia.cravens and for @nightmaresfromnowhere we’re sending you Dead Eleven by @jimmyjulianobooks
Advice from Dorothy Barker: Go outside and find the sunset. Touch the grass. Bark at squirrels. Pee aggressively while staring at the neighbors. Eat a bug. The usual.
Instagram makes suggested reels based on old content and I assume most people have beautiful vacation photos or wedding compilations, but this is what they suggested for me.
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Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Game Night Kit: All-in-one classic card game kits make the perfect gift, but you’ll want them for yourself, too! Lets skip book club tonight, drink wine & play games instead ~time together is magic!

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Perfectionist Anonymous: Proudly serving unpolished working motherhood, with bipolar depression and hilarity on the side.

Active Voice Productions  made a cool little movie with a role they wanted The Bloggess for but instead got Bonnie Hunt. Seriously. That’s what happened.

Scaredy Cat Travels: Traveling the world with the worst carry-on anxiety.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

The Second: Colleen Burns Durda’s candid memoir about a suburban mom with a side hustle-she’s The Second Coming. Laugh, cry and learn how she copes with her bipolar diagnosis.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

The Family Skeptical Podcast: We’re an atheist couple raising two children – we ask big questions, dissect weird parenting moments, and are jealous that our cats get so much sleep.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: Just read it. Trust me.

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