He did not guess correctly.

Me after watching 47 ferret videos in a row and then making Victor look at them too even though he’s trying to concentrate on his video game:

me: Omg, that’s it. I can’t take it anymore. Guess what we’re getting?

Victor: A divorce?


I will wear him down. Eventually. And then it will be ferret walks and tiny hats all the damn time around here.


And now…time for the weekly wrap-up.

This week’s wrap-up is sponsored by author and syndicated columnist Tracy Beckerman. Tracy is super excited to tell you about her new book, “Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love and Kibble.” Barking at the Moon is about the Beckermans, and the chaos that ensues when they bring a one-dog wrecking ball into their home. From tracking wet cement through the house to shredding the family’s underwear, Riley is a modern day Dogzilla. Yet, this lovable retriever also brings joy, laughter, and a renewed sense of wonder into the household.  At times hilarious and heartwarming, Barking at the Moon speaks to life’s challenges, and to mothering children both human and furry. Riley reminds us that no matter what stage of life we’re in, we can learn a lot from the dogs who teach us to stop and smell the fire hydrant.   W. Bruce Cameron, the best-selling author of “A Dog’s Purpose” says he’s “utterly charmed by the whole thing, cover to cover,” and Jenny Lawson says it’s “sweet and heartwarming.” Barking at the Moon comes out on Tuesday, June 29th. To reserve a copy for yourself or a dog lover you know, go to www.tracybeckerman.com

47 thoughts on “He did not guess correctly.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I have been bitten by a ferret. They are horrible, smelly little piranhas that will try to kill you in your sleep.

    (Noooo. They were hugging with their teeth. ~ Jenny)

  2. We had two ferrets several years ago, they are a lot of fun, but they are also a lot of work. They get bored easily and require lots of play time. I would recommend getting two so that they can play together and get the biggest cage/house you can afford. And they are little thieves, but once you find their hiding place, you will always know where to look for your stuff. They also have a unique scent, even though they will be descented…make sure no one in your household has a problem with it.

  3. Ferrets are wonderful, admittedly smelly (musky) little balls of energy. We used to have one and he was fabulous. The only reason we don’t have one now is because it turns out I am allergic to them. 🙁 🙁 ;(

  4. My sister had ferrets for years. They are kinda stinky, and one of them was very bitey. They were cute, but wow… Like, I love my sister, but her whole house stank because of them. When she needed to sell the house, she had to have the carpets professionally cleaned, and it still stank, and took some high-power odor-eliminator stuff to get rid of the stench.

    (Sigh. I suspect this – and the fact that Dorothy Barker is a bit of a ratter – is why I will only ever get to snuggle with other people’s ferrets. ~ Jenny)

  5. My sister used to have ferrets. They ruled her life and smelled awful. I love animals but ferrets as pets are a big NO for me.

  6. My daughter’s 17th birthday is tomorrow and she wants a ferret. It’s not happening. I have gotten her a bearded dragon and Chinese water lizard on other birthdays. We currently have three dogs and a kitty. I am NOT caving… Good luck!

  7. Just let Victor name the little guys Kodo and Podo then he can be the Beastmaster.

  8. My BFF had two ferrets a million years ago. Bumble, the male, was a thief. My husband and I went to visit BFF and her hubby in AZ. When we were leaving, my hubs couldn’t find his wallet that he’d left on the bedside table. An hour latter and LOTS of searching, BFF decided to look under her bed. Bumble had stashed the waller in the underfacing of the box spring. Pocket knife, and we had it back. So….beware.

  9. Ferrets were not really meant to be pets, they are intelligent, independent, bitey, stinky, fantastic wild animals. Neither are otters, or monkeys, or other exotic animals that need lots of special care and attention to keep alive, healthy and not bored or feeling limited or trapped by their humans. There are plenty of other domesticated or mellow animals that make great pets and get along great with humans and don’t mind being petted and living inside with humans.
    You have my sympathies on bangs. I used to look cute in bangs, but I hate having to pay to trim them professionally, and they never look good if I trim them, and my hair is sometimes wavy so they often curl the wrong way. I had my husband trim my hair during The Great Lockdown and he did a great job, but it gave his anxiety a major panic attack every time so I felt it was unfair to ask him to do it more than twice. Finally after we were fully vaccinated and it had been a month after Memorial Day and we didn’t see a jump in infection rates in the fully vaccinated we felt safe enough to venture out to my hairdresser and got real haircuts. It was heavenly to get a real haircut after a year and a half!

  10. Um, I guess a divorce would be in the offing if the comments are any indication of what ‘FUN’ these beasties are LOL

  11. Some friends had a ferret. It pooped all over the place and even their couch smelled like ferret poop. We took it while they were on vacation once and I couldn’t wait to give it back.

  12. I’m with Victor on this one. They are prone to adrenal diseases, which are treatable but expensive. They are “seniors” if they make it to 7 years, and by that point they have Addison’s disease, adenocarcinoma, other yucky things. And they should always come in pairs, at least. They need buddies. And they stink.

    I enjoy ferrets online, and I enjoy playing with the ferrets at the zoo, but I won’t bring them home. Too inbred, too many issues.

    I’m sorry, Jenny. I feel like I’ve taken a giant dump in the middle of your rainbow parade.

  13. People either seem to love or hate ferrets. I don’t like the fact that my friend’s ferrets never would quite hit the litter box. It would always be just to the side.

  14. The important question is What Video Game is Victor Playing? At least one of them has Ferret people as characters. It’s the perfect opportunity for you to join in and make him fall in love with your magic wielding ferret wizard, and thus be unable to refuse one as a household member.

    (Destiny 2. A suspicious lack of ferrets. ~ Jenny)

  15. I was recently pondering getting a couple of ferrets but the biting and smell issues may have turned me off. However, in the research process I stumbled across a ferret rescue group in Texas (https://txferretrescue.org/ferrets) that can let you know how bitey each one is, plus whether they are used to dogs and cats. So, think about that option if you wear down Victor.

  16. The WaPo has you in their list of 20 books to read this summer! Yay you!

  17. As others have mentioned, they do indeed smell. No amount of cage cleaning, bathing/not bathing or prayer keeps the little buggers from stinking, and the stink settles into everything in ‘their’ room, so choose carefully. It’s so bad, sometimes you just step into a house and you KNOW they have ferrets without being told, and it doesn’t mean they’re neglecting their pets. It’s the sole reason we have NEVER had a ferret, and I am pretty flexible about pets (ah, heck, i’m usually the one who wears my spouse down about it!)

  18. you need to be introduced to the stench that is living with a ferret. it is AWFUL. even the ones with their scent glands removed – they still stink!!! and that smell gets into *everything* you own. your clothes, your carpet, the walls of your house.

    sure ferrets are cute, but not cute enough to live with. (my exbf had a ferret, and a friend of his had 4 of them in a big custom cage)

  19. You need to clear this first with Dorothy Barker and the cats. Not so much with VIctor.

    I really want to get a ferret but they are illegal in California. But considering that every pet food store in the area has an entire aisle devoted to ferret food, ferret toys, ferret enclosures, etc., I don’t think I should have a problem finding one when I am ready.

  20. My friend has a ferret and refers to it as her niffler because he’s always taking her things.

  21. My first thought was, “I don’t think Dorothy Barker would be the tiniest bit amused.”

  22. Ferrets are in the same family as skunks, so yeah. Smelly. And bitey. They love to hide under things and bite your toes. I’ve had everything from reptiles to rats as pets. I can’t do ferrets. I love the little biters, but at someone else’s house. My friend’s husband always says “Use your best judgement, dear” when my friend is considering bringing home yet another pet. Good advice.

  23. My kiddos have two ferrets and yes they are stinky, but not unbearable if you keep their cage clean. They are truly a joy to play with and we all enjoy their antics. Never experienced the theiving but it doesn’t surprise me.

  24. What you want is a friend with a ferret. A friend had ferrets. She loved them but said never again. If you get one anyway, my next advice would be to keep in one room/area, but good luck with that.

  25. We had ferrets once, once. Toe biting ninjas is what they were. They don’t actually run, they sort of wobble. And they steal socks, not one or two but all of the socks. And they love fruit loops. It’s the crispy kreme of ferret foods. They will never eat them in front of you, never in daylight hours. In the middle of the night behind the stereo or under the dishwasher where they have their treasures, the faint crunch crunch crunch will give them away. But they are cute and funny and very playful, enjoy your new ferret friend.

  26. I had ferrets for years. OTHER people think ferrets smell- ferret owners will pick up their sleeping ferret and stick their nose in their fur and breathe in deeply. It’s like when you have a dog- you don’t mind their doggy breath or even like it in some strange way while everyone else thinks it is gross. My ferrets grounded me so much and helped with depression. It was definitely a mood- lifter when I watched my goody carpet snakes bounce around or drag my shoe away. When I convince my husband to finally let me have ferrets again, We’ll get you to B.C., Canada and we will have a ferret party. 🙂

  27. My nephew had a couple. He didn’t kept them. They aren’t particularly friendly and you have to bathe them all the time. I ditto what the person said – you want a friend with a ferret. Dogs are better. And cats. 😂

  28. I would strongly suggest not getting ferrets. And yes, you need at least two to keep each other occupied. I had ferrets starting in 1977 when hardly anybody in the US knew what they were. They are “latrine animals”, meaning that they like to defecate/urinate in the same spot, which THEY choose. I had newspapers in all the corners of their room and had the plastic baseboard glued to the sheet vinyl to stop leaks. Ferrets are intelligent, playful delights, but much, much work. Mine got in my desk through the back and ate my pink eraser, luckily no blockage. They can get through the smallest holes or in cabinets with no latches (who knew four pounds of sugar would make a snack/dry bath when spilled on the kitchen floor?). Again, skip the ownership, stick with petting zoo/videos.
    Just a note: the sable or albino ferrets commonly sold are domesticated. The Egyptians used them thousands of years ago to keep the rodent population down in their grain silos. Ferrets are domesticated more like horses or cows than dogs or cats, useful, but not so cuddly.

  29. *siiiiigh* so many people against ferrets. Makes me sad. We owned two about ten years ago and I also did a ton of research on them before and after owing.

    1) They are domesticated. They cannot live “in the wild”. https://www.elmwoodparkzoo.org/animal/domestic-ferret/

    2) Yup, they do have a distinctive scent that some people don’t mind and others hate. I’ve defiantly smelled better and worse from other pets so that’s just personal preference. It helps to have hardwood floors.

    3) Like any well trained pet, they should not bite! Both of my boys were well socialized when young and while they would play bite at times, it was never enough to even scratch the skin. Ferrets have very thick/tough skin so if they’re not taught young that humans are a bit more delicate, they will just play with us like they would another ferret.

    4) It is a sad fact that many of the ferrets you see in pet stores comes from large ferret farms like Marshalls. Ferret farms, like puppy mills, tend to be more focused on quantity rather than quality of life. Due to inbreeding and such, these ferrets have a higher likelihood of having major medical issues (such as cancers and adrenal disease) down the line. Finding a ferret from a local independent breeder is usually a much better option.

    Ferrets are a lot of work, but they’re also a ton of fun and can be super sweet. I like to compare them to a mix between a cat and dog. They can be super aloof at times, but also love to get down and play.

  30. I actually love the musky smell of ferrets. We had 3 at one point, and they were adorable, sweet, hilarious little carpet sharks, but they really do suffer from a LOT of health issues due to inbreeding, at least in the US. And they can be bitey depending on their personality, but then so can a dog or a cat. Sadly, as ours died, we didn’t replace them, because turns out I’m pretty allergic to them, so I never got to cuddle without paying the price.

  31. I was walking my greyhound and a man was walking his ferret. We nodded at each other in a friendly manner, but the beasts went for each other. The greyhound threw the ferret in the air; the ferret sank its teeth into the greyhound. The ferret was unhurt, but the greyhound bled profusely.

  32. As a former ferret owner, other people’s ferrets are waaaay better than your own. I love them, but happy I just have dogs and a cat now.

  33. I know people with ferrets. Be prepared to wash their bedding often to minimize the smell. Know that you might not be able to litter box train them. They are cute as fuck. They can be destructive and obsessive about the things that they fixate on (my brother had one that would steal any sock it got near). Also PLEASE get them from a rescue.

  34. I really love the idea of having ferrets but I think I’ll just stay with watching cute videos of them online! Also if you enjoy slinky mustelids doing funny and cute stuff I recommend @russian_sable @sablebuddy and @weasel_miko on Instagram. All cute weasely friends, the sables are rescued from fur farms.

  35. I will wear him down. Eventually. And then it will be ferret walks and tiny hats all the damn time around here.

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