This week I had my first ever bone density scan and that was nice except that the tech printed the results out for me and it’s just a bunch of pictures of my vagina?
Like, just how breakable is my vagina? I didn’t even know this was a concern.
Also, it says I’m part android:
This seems like something the doctor should have talked to me about.
One of my biggest reasons for going to to the doctor was my concern about my bad memory being early-onset dementia since it runs in my family but he didn’t think it was an issue. He did mention that maybe viagra could help ward off my chances of getting dementia in the future because some study recently showed that men who took viagra were less likely to get dementia, which is interesting but it also seems like me taking viagra is exactly the sort of thing that would get me committed to a memory home because they’re gonna be like, “This bitch can’t even remember she doesn’t have a penis. Clearly she needs to be here.” And then I’d be like, “No, I remember that I have a vagina. A very breakable one, apparently. Possibly an android vagina. Would you like to see pictures? Because I have them.” And then I’m definitely getting committed to the memory home, but the one my granny was in was pretty nice so I guess that’s fine.
Also, I’m sharing the X-ray vag pic on here because people love nude pics and this is the most nude you can get. Basically it’s my “only fans” page, but for free. Someone pressures you for nudes pics? Take mine. Help yourself. YOU’RE WELCOME.
UPDATED: Okay, so several of you pointed out that I seem to be missing my pelvis altogether in this picture and that maybe this image is just my hip bones with my android vagina removed for modesty sake and I was about to admit that you might be right because I did think this made me look thinner than expected but then twitter was like, “YOU CAN’T JUST SHOW YOUR LADY GARDEN TO THE WORLD, YA BIG WHORE.”:
Technically they just said that they were hiding the tweet from the public because of “nudity” but if twitter thinks it’s nudity then I’m pretty sure any guy you send it to is going to think the same thing.