I’ve been feeling slightly more scattered than normal for the past few months. Exhausted, forgetful, emotional. I went to see the doctor recently and after a ton of tests he was like, “Beats me, lady” so I went to an Ob/Gyn because a friend said it sounded like perimenopause and my Ob/Gyn was like, “Your bloodwork shows that you don’t have enough testosterone. Do you want cream or pellets?” I always skip cream because I’m lactose intolerant but turns out she meant some kind of testosterone lotion you rub on your foot each night and that sounds weirdly specific but the pellet thing was even weirder because apparently they cut a hole in your butt cheek and put a pellet in the hole and after a month it dissolves and then you go back in and they put another hole in your butt and put another pellet in and…is this real? Because why would you choose to get extra butt holes when you could just pick “lotion”? I can barely keep up with the butthole I already have and I suspect the extra butt hole is probably not enormous but still…worst purse ever. (The extra butt hole, I mean. Not my normal butthole. Although that’s also a terrible purse.) Anyway, I forgot what my point was here but maybe after I start rubbing testosterone on my foot I’ll remember and this will all make sense again.
Probably not though.