So every single fucking year Victor insists that I have not bought him an ice cream cake even though I TOTALLY HAVE and it’s sort of a running joke because he insists that “It’s all I’ve ever asked for” while looking off into the distance like a wounded puppy, but then on his actual birthday he always insists that he’s just been messing me with me and tells me to not go get him an ice cream cake on his birthday because there are only three of us and it’s a waste of money and then the next day he’s like, “SIGH..NO ONE EVER GETS ME AN ICE CREAM CAKE AND IT’S ALL I’VE EVER WANTED” so today I tried to sneak out to get him an ice cream cake and he heard me and threw himself behind my car while yelling, “SERIOUSLY, DON’T GET ME AN ICE CREAM CAKE. I SWEAR I’M JUST MESSING WITH YOU” and so I pretended that I was giving up and when he moved I gunned it and went to the store and he was texting me “Seriously, we have no room in the freezer. Don’t get an ice cream cake” but it was too late because I got this single-serving ice cream cake push-up and Victor was like, “I’m not sure this counts” but it totally does and I sang happy birthday to him and was very self-satisfied until he was like, “I can’t even get it to push up” and then suddenly the whole thing popped out of the plastic and fell in the sink and Victor was all wide-eyed and was like, “I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN’T DO THAT ON PURPOSE. IT JUST FELL” and I suspected that he did it on purpose so that he could continue to complain about not getting an ice cream cake for his birthday but jokes on him because I bought 5 of those fucking cake pops and then Victor was like, “Oh, touché” and he ate some and then he was like, “Well, you finally got me an ice cream cake but you didn’t sing me happy birthday” but I totally did and recorded it and then he was like, “You didn’t sing happy birthday dressed as Batgirl” and I stared at him and he was like, “That’s all I’ve ever asked for.”
And honestly I could not stop laughing and I hope this goes on forever.
Happy birthday, Victor.