So this happened:
32 thoughts on “I don’t actually know what President’s Day is all about but I’m pretty sure this isn’t it.”
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Mysteries from the post office, part 3.
Victor said there was a life hack for removing these without scissors and I was like, “Yeah, I already know one” and now I’m bleeding.
Hailey wrote a 10 minute play for school called Happy Fun Times and it won the audience choice award last night! So proud of them.
My doctor is ghosting me.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
Thank you, Jenny, for always making me laugh. You are a treasure!
You’re my kind of people Jenny! 💗
I’m glad I’m not the only one who does stuff like that. My cats routinely ninja scare me and I drop things or startle and hit myself with something. Clever little creatures. They’re lucky they’re cute.
I feel better about being a klutz. I fell over my open dishwasher and flew eight feet. Then, used a walker for five weeks. Yep. True story! It only got worse from there…
Thank you.
Bless your heart!
Squirrelly patty Temple. Oh I love you, Jenny!
I thought for sure you were going to say/show Squirrely Temple nailing you in the face with an acorn or other devious nut. Sorry that caused you to whack yourself in the face with a phone. Squirrels can be treacherous little devils.
I love this so much!! Squirrely is gorgeous, and clearly was enacting shenanigans in order to make you hurt yourself (and implicate Victor – nice work!!).
“this is exactly why people hate the outdoors.”
It’s so nice to know there’s someone who understands.
I would like to know how Elle managed to fly 8 feet falling over the open dishwasher! I usually end up right ON the door.
P.S. I still think I am the klutziest person here. Or anywhere.
Squirrels are such entitled beasts sometimes.
You just got to love those furry nut throwing critters♥️
I stopped at my nana’s grave after visiting my cousin and a squirrel yelled at me for 5 minutes straight, so I just left. What a jerk squirrrel
Justy tell her: “You’re not the boss of me!”
You are my national treasure! President’s Day just gained it’s greatest “Not quite the president yet” lady!
My dad once snuck up on a squirrel on our deck and caught it by the tail. That squirrel cleared the deck and most of the back yard in one leap, leaving a good tuft of hair behind, which dad kept as a trophy. However. Squirrel (I’m not good with names) got all his friends rounded up for revenge. Dad had a prized pear tree. Every time Dad went near that tree, he got bombarded with unripened, hard pears right on his head. Squirrel and Friends laughed all year… so did we kids. And mom. We’re still laughing.
when squirrels attack….
We have a squirrel who is truly intent on emotionally torturing our indoor cat. I have videos of him/her taunting our cat from our back deck by shaking his tail while the cat goes nuts watching helplessly from a window. One day they squared off and tried to jump at each other through the glass.
The amount of times I’ve dropped my phone on my face…. I’m surprised I haven’t broken a cheekbone or my nose.
All the more reason to not trust squirrels.
Given how long Victor has known you, I’m sure he has no trouble at all believing that a squirrel made you hit yourself.
Squirrelly Temple was always tougher than people gave her credit for. Lucky it was just a bruise.
Flame away, but I sincerely hatehatehate squirrels. They are antagonistic little bastards. They know exactly what they are doing and are incredibly smug about it.
Is there a way to view the post if I’m not on Insta (because Meta gives me the skeeves)?
(That’s a good question. I think so if you go to the instagram page rather than the app. ~ Jenny)
Is there a way to view the post if I’m not on Insta? (Meta gives me the serious skeeves) (sorry if this posts twice, it didn’t show up the first time)
Yes, sorry, it did post twice. Please ignore the latter, unless you like my phrasing better, in which case ignore the former. At any rate, now, it’s showing me the video. Thanks to you and technology!
We had a squirrel in our attic a couple of years ago, exhibiting similar attitude. Nesting, I wonder?
Our squirrelly visitor arrived unannounced by chewing through a vent cover, made our blood run cold when we heard her scratching around above our heads in the middle of the night, and then took shits on everything in the attic when we evidently didn’t meet her standards. A really bad AtticBnB guest. Would not host her again. Zero stars.
Indeed. And attack they did. When the pears gave out, they used whatever ammo was handy. Those spiky balls on trees were favorites.
….
I mean, at least it’s cute?
We had a gardener friend who called grey squirrels “Forest Rats.” She wasn’t pleased to learn that, as wildlife rehabbers, we sometimes raised orphaned grey squirrels for release. They do a good job of seeding the pine forest, which counts. But their language can be !&$#@* atrocious.
I applaud you for getting your vitamin D while reading, but dude… that’s not relaxing while a fury little banshee is screaming at you! Glad Squirrelly Temple didn’t actually jump on you!!
Wherever I go nature seems to follow in a bad way. The latest was when my husband and I recently visited Summerland in Santa Barbara county and the moment we checked in and brought our luggage into our room I notice a “fuzzy” on one of my luggage wheels while it was on a luggage stand… this thought later affirmed how terrible my vision is!
I took a closer look and realized it was a MASSIVE juicy hairy dark brown spider that was grossly murdered by my wheel! Even my husband was grossed out and nothing creeps him out!
A smaller version snuck into the room later that night to no doubt enact revenge for his fallen comrade and it reered its front two legs like a HORSE at me ready to charge!
All it needed was a peeved knight or cowboy on the back of him! I might have squeaked “hell no!” and “nope!” as I woke my husband up to slay it.
Your use of the word “motherfucker” is pure art.