Last week we went to Puerto Rico for 3 days with Hailey, their sweetheart Laurel, and Laurel’s mom to celebrate their graduation and spend some bonding time with them before they both go off to Texas State, and it was perfect because I could stay in bed when exhaustion hit and not feel bad because Hailey could go out on their own with Laurel since they’re now adults. And it was also heart-breakingly bittersweet because they’re now old enough to have lives without us. The chest-swelling pride of watching my kid step out in adulthood is tempered with an equal pain of watching our relationship change into something different…something still wonderful, but the end of an era and the beginning of another…of letting go and changing. It’s so much harder than I thought it would be.
We swam and (lightly) hiked through a rainforest but one of my favorite memories was watching a flight attendant named Debbie lose her absolute shit when she told the last person getting on that he couldn’t bring on three bags and another flight attendant was like, “It’s fine. We still have plenty of room in the overhead, Debbie” and she screamed “YOU CAN’T HAVE THREE BAGS. I TOLD HIM YOU CAN’T HAVE THREE BAGS” and everyone just stared at each other with giant eyes because clearly Debbie was going through some shit and we could all relate to that but also it was like watching your parents fight in front of your friends and for the rest of the trip whenever something would go wrong one of us would scream “YOU CAN’T HAVE THREE BAGS” and we’d all laugh and realize we were being ridiculous and now “YOU CAN’T HAVE THREE BAGS” joins our forever lexicon of weird private jokes.
And that’s sort of wonderful because I’m always staring at the ceiling at 3am thinking about something mortifying I said 10 years ago and people always say, “No one noticed whatever you’re worried about, you’re being irrational” and maybe that’s true, but maybe a group of total strangers who heard me say something incredibly embarrassing 10 years ago continue to repeat that dumb thing with joy as a private joke that still bonds them together. And that’s a type of immortality you cannot buy and a helpful reminder I need as I continue to accidentally spew out horribly embarrassing things in public, like a fountain of mortification.
PS. Bless you, Debbie. Always in our hearts.
God bless Debbie. I get so frustrated at people who bring more than 2 carryons on the plane. They take space from someone else.
Bless YOU, Jenny. Always in our hearts. <3 I adore your perspective on the world, and I'm so very thankful you share it with all of us. I needed this today, just as I usually need exactly whatever you write. <3
I think I will start using “YOU CAN’T HAVE THREE BAGS!” whenever I feel frustrated, lol …
I’m SURE you are being quoted by multiple people in multiple countries around the world.
“…A fountain of mortification…” Love this visual. You make me smile.
Debbie: forever in our hearts, never in our storage compartment.
So glad to hear ours is not the only family with a unique lexicon of phrases that only we understand.
technically, if one of those bags contained a small pet, he would be allowed 3 carryon bags. i’m just going to assume that debbie has had enough of those m**r f**n snakes on this m**r f**n plane, and his pet carryon contains one snake too many, and that’s why she lost it.
You always make me laugh out loud Jenny. We love you just as you are. BTW Hailey looks so beautiful and happy. You did a good job mama bear!!
Aww I always stare at the ceiling at 3 am thinking of something embarrassing that I said 10 years ago so I’m glad I’m not the only one. Maybe not as dramatic and public as “YOU CAN’T HAVE THREE BAGS” so yes, bless Debbie. And bless you, Jenny Lawson for always making me laugh.
Years ago, my sister and I were waiting to walk in a parade and we heard a band director say, “The world is my band.” to another person. We now use it as a signal when one of us wants to leave a social situation.
Scream on, Debbie. Scream on.
My family has a small vocabulary of acronyms and words that sound perfectly ordinary to others, but are screamingly funny to us. No one else in the world knows why the phrase “it was…severe” is funny, but it cracks us up every time.
It is so hard to watch our babies turn into beautiful, strong adults, but it’s the most rewarding thing ever. Best thing we can do is put ourselves right out of the job.
Poor Debbie.
Our line, between the neighborhood Mom’s is “ At least she got a yard stick.” A yard stick was given as a Mother’s Day gift, the rest of us got nothing. Lol! We rejoice in others gains.
Picturing a Chris Farley type teetering onto the plane with his 3 ducked taped trash bags, trying to stuff them in random overhead bins as he walks to his seat at the back of the plane, all the while winking at the flight Attendant ( not Debbie, of course)
Once on a hot day in our condo complex, we put plastic deck chairs in the shallow end of the pool to sit in them. We were the only pool users at the time. As my husband pulled another chair in, an elderly woman leaned out of her window to shout “Young Man, Young Man! Chairs do not belong in the pool!!” That was 25 years ago & it’s still in heavy rotation 🙂
We were at a NYE thing like 15 years ago and the neighbor teens decided to see if they could shoot Roman candles out of their pants. The best part was they seemed utterly confused that it hurt. Then 30 minutes later they tried it again. To this day we can mention “pants” or “oww?” And the whole group cracks up.
still laughing…….you are a treasure! also for bringing up such a wonderful daughter. GO DEBBIE!!!
Once upon a time at a book signing, you came up with the Best Cat Name Ever. It’s a bit of immortality for you that I’m also constantly yelling at to stop eating plastic bags and trying to kill himself.
I feel Debbie’s pain. I sure hope she won’t lose her job over that. She maybe the only sane person I know right now. (Congrats to Hailey and Lauren, and may their futures be bright and exactly what they want!)
But did Debbie win the day or did the dude get to keep his bags?! Don’t leave me hanging!
One summer my mom was staying at our house and we didn’t have ac so the windows were open. We lived just on the edge of the city so people used to walk through our neighborhood in the way home from the bars. One night we were woken up by two drunk men having an argument and another trying to separate them. My mom came into our bedroom to see what all the yelling was about and we all climbed onto bed to see out the window. From what we could piece together the one guy, Kyle, slept with the other man’s sister. It wasn’t violent, more drunken pushing and slurring, with the one guy occasionally yelling, “fuck you Kyle!”. The fight ended with Kyle staggering away and the third man holding up the angry brother while he walked home shaking his head and muttering, “fucking Kyle…”. To this day something frustrating will happen and one of us will say, “fucking Kyle…”. I wonder if that man knows he lives in infamy.
this post is so sweet and now i’m crying over the imaginary child I don’t have envisioning them leaving my house for college
I still think about you using the term “lady garden”, although I don’t say it. That would just be weird coming from me.
So glad Hailey won’t be living in your basement the rest of her life. This is what happened to my high school class’ valedictorian. So much potential but he went nowhere. I kept thinking about him when my kids left home. I missed them terribly but I wouldn’t have wanted them wasting their lives in my basement.
It’s also become a family phrase for someone maybe not living up to their potential. “Well, he could be living in his mother’s basement!”
Treasure those inside jokes. My mom and her best friend had another friend T, who’d suffered a slight stroke. They took me to see T, and as usual I was focused on the dog. They were chatting away, totally normal, and I asked T something minor, like what breed the dog was. The reply: “27. “That was T’s answer to anything that didn’t come immediately to her mind. Forever after, as long as my mom and her best friend lived, 27 was one of our biggest and fondest inside jokes. Those two lovely women (and T) are gone now, and oh how I miss the laughter that came with “27!”
So sad but sweet seeing your child/adult starting out into the great big beautiful world on their very own.
Poor Debbie, I know how she feels. When you have stated a boundary/rule, and somebody else contradicts or overrides you in front of others, it’s really disrespectful and undermines your authority.
Plus, in the customer service world, an exception to a rule just gives that customer an opportunity to say in the future, “but the last time I was here, I was allowed to do it.”
Airline attendants have been getting the brunt of passenger rage and bad behavior which has gotten worse since 2020 when the pandemic made us all little crazy. Big hugs to Debbie are in order.
I do love a good catch phrase that explains to those in the know exactly what you or somebody else are feeling at that moment.
That just gave me all the feels. I understand how hard it is to transition to our children leaving home. And the Debbie situation. It made me feel better, to think that maybe I have become a bonding story for someone. I will try to remember that at 3am. thank you for the training session. You are the best.
Our version….
Mechanic: The Toyota is ready to go.
Owner: Uh, it’s a Highlander!
Mechanic: Yeah, like I said, the Toyota is ready to go.
Owner: But it’s a Highlander!
Us (in any situation, whatsoever, and forevermore!): BUT, IT’S A HIGHLANDER!
Ah, poor Debbie. And also, gotta love those catch phrases. For me and my 2 siblings, it has always been the memory of sitting in the monorail, and hearing a tiny British voice say, “You tricked me mummy. This isn’t DisneyWorld! It’s the Magic Kingdom!” And we would say it to each other at odd times in a fake accent.
Approximately 30 years later, the whole family got together to take my kids to DisneyWorld. And I decided to try to trick my 4 year old daughter in a similar manner. And when she said in her tiny (but not British) voice, “You tricked me mommy!” as we entered the Magic Kingdom, my joy (and my siblings’) was complete.
So yeah, sometimes that shit lasts forever in completely random peoples’ hearts.
Debbie also believes and adheres strictly to food expiration dates, while her ‘plenty of room in the overheads’ compadre regularly eats eight-months-out-of-date yogurt.
Ours is: “remember the sausage!”
Well, from now on, I know I’m going to use your “fountain of mortification” phrase to proudly describe the unfiltered, embarrassing shit I say…thanks, it’s a keeper!
I have never met her, but I love Debbie.
First, it’s reassuring to learn that I’m not the only one awake at 3 a.m. thinking about the stupid things I’ve said in the past. We should all start a support group or something. Second, my husband and I also have a phrase that no one else gets, but makes us hysterical. It’s ” It must have been serious “. We’ve been saying it for over twenty years now.
Debbie sounds like my kind of people. God Bless Debbie. Also thank you for sharing your inside (jokes) with us.
I once mispronounced the name of a building on my university campus. It was named after a long running premier, and my father lost his ever loving shit.
I argued that he figured out where to pick me up, so it didn’t really matter. He… sputtered describes it best. He finally (attempted) to end the argument by saying “it’s wrong. It’s stupid. Don’t do it again!”
We still use that when we get wound up about things that don’t matter.
Debbie will live in our hearts forever.
Such as, “Knock knock, mother fucker!”?
#14 Becca. Oh my god that is hilarious, both the story and the punchline. I would say “At least she got a yard stick,” but nobody would understand. I love this.
Anytime my coworker and I get frustrated with a customer we just yell at one another “Shingles doesn’t care!” because the phrasing of those commercials cracks us up.
As the saying goes, you can always serve as a bad example. Not that you are ever a bad example; you are the best!
Our phrase is “but is it thriving?” 🤣
Flying this weekend for the first time since 2019 and the amount of anxiety I have devoted to whether I am complying with the carry on “rules” is…..well let’s just say excessive. But I truly believe that Debbie will give me the thumbs up. So I’m giving myself a gold star!!!!
“I like soup.” My family hijacked this sentence from The Best 6th Grade Teacher Ever, when my daughter was one of his students. He said “I like soup” in reply whenever one of the kiddoes let fly an absolutely out-of-left-field, no-context-whatsoever comment. Which, ya know, in a classroom full of 6th graders, happened fairly often.
Also, so help me if “screaming in our hearts irrationally forever” isn’t the title of my obituary then SO HELP ME I WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT MY FAMILY.
When my two kids were way too young (18 mos. & 3), we bought a tent & went camping at a public campsite near Ocean City, MD. That night, the 18 mos old proceeded to crawl round and round the tent, pushing at the sides, trying to find his way out. I remonstrated & ended up giving a few smacks. The next morning, I heard a teenage voice from the next tent over laughing as he said, “Stop it, Mark. Mark, stop it! Mark! Whapwhapwhap, wahhhhh!” Sigh. Probably entered his lexicon.
I used to watch a lot of “house buying” shows on the DIY network. And my husband’s and my favorite show that created a lasting impression we often mimic, was some woman walking through each house saying over and over and over again in a strong southern accent, “That’s nice. Oh, THAT’S nice. Oh that’s really nice. Yes, that’s nice, Oh and THAT’S nice”. Which is hilarious in its own right, but, at one point, that last house she was shown, she points at something, I don’t remember what and exclaims emphatically “That’s NOT nice.”
Poor Debbie. I love her!
Once when I flew into Seattle to see my family, the signage was bad. I walked out a door that took me to “Airport departures” rather than “Arrivals” to have my family pick me up.I waited and waited; no parents to pick me up. We texted back and forth and we were both at C4 pickup; no sign of each other. I finally figured out what was wrong and went up a flight to ARRIVALS and there they were. My Dad actually said I was right – because I was about to DEPART (with them) from the airport. After that he’d always show up at DEPARTURES rather than ARRIVALS to pick me up. Dad has been gone 4 years now and my sister always says “I’LL SEE YOU AT DEPARTURES” when she’s ready to pick me up. We have slowly spread this story to all our friends and many of them now say it.
My Mom in later years would say “deal” whenever she couldn’t think of a word. “We got in the…deal…and drove to the…deal….and I bought a…deal.” The entire family still says DEAL and we all laugh hysterically.
I mean, Debbie’s not wrong.
Tell it, Debbie!!! Shout your truth!!! Entitled 3-bag people need to hear it!
I laughed because MY name is Debbie and I thought you were writing a personal note to me. However, Debbies of the world unite! We are know to flip out over rule-following at times…
My son and I were walking into Walmart when a little boy just in front of us said, (in a very small and anxious voice) “it’s loud in here.”
We have adopted that phrase for anytime we are in an uncomfortable situation. I suppose every family has that secret shorthand with one another.
Oh I’m with Debbie. You CANNOT have more than 3 bags unless that bag is a pet carrier and it contains a cute animal. I used to travel with my cat, Dr. Edmonton Ranford Griffin, C.A.T. aka Eddie. I would travel in the window seat of the plane. The flight attendants would ask me to him out and then hold him. It was so long ago (1994), I don’t even have pictures! He was a very loved cat and very intuitive.
When we were dating, my husband and I visited his grandparents who were newly relocated from Yonkers, NY. When we were leaving, we mentioned we were about to go to a place that had good pizza. His grandmother started talking about the place in Yonkers that had the best pizza back in the ‘50s-‘60s and how his grandfather would take the trolley down and get some for dinner. His grandfather emphatically stated, “The trolley didn’t go down there!!” That turned into a 10-minute argument about the layout of the public transportation system with his grandfather repeatedly asserting that the trolley didn’t go down there. So “The trolley didn’t go down there” became our code for “This is a ridiculous thing to argue about!”
I love this! One of ours is ‘Now, I like Rick James as much as the next person…’. I’ve made my husband shirts with random quotes that only we understand.
Sounds like Debbie has a lot of baggage. I’ll see myself out.
Bless poor Debbie, for she has to deal with assholes on a daily basis who try to bring on too many bags, I’m sure. Or bags that aren’t proper carry ons, but rather big grocery store paper sacks tied together with twine and hope because the people carrying them didn’t want to check their bags.
I’ve often wondered if I’m part of other people/families culture/lore/urban legend the way some are part of ours. And we pass that along to friends/chosen family as they come along. I think it’s wonderful and comforting. One of our family’s that has spread is “serious, serious” if you say it twice you’re not kidding, no joking allowed. It says a lot that we need a code word for when we’re NOT blowing crap.
Warning: Tangent Alert. I just read yesterday that passengers can bring a pillow onboard and that it doesn’t count as a bag nor are its contents vetted for feathers or what not. Guess who is about to pack a pillow full of clothes and maybe those heels that don’t even fit but I still feel the need to take on vacation “just in case.”
A friend of mine once said, “NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO ME.” It struck me as the most ridiculous comment (Nothing? Nothing at all? Ever?) and has stuck in the lexicon of my family and friends to this day.
“YOU CAN’T HAVE THREE BAGS” – Letting go and changing – I really appreciate the random scream at anything not going right. I find the letting go and changing relationship with my kids the hardest part of parenthood, and I’ve had plenty of hard things. I find letting go and changing the hardest thing for me right now about everything. So I hope you don’t mind if I borrow “YOU CAN’T HAVE THREE BAGS” as it will help release some of the tension.
Wait wait, I’ve got another one. Actually, my friend owns this one. Her mother once said, about a crazy neighbor, “And the sad part of it is… (long pause, continuing in a whisper)… she’s going to end up in an institution.” Needless to say, this has become one of our standards.
One of ours is “I could be an actor!”, which is something my late husband would say while my daughter and I would do our best to hide our snickering faces. So every now and then, we have to break out the “I could be an actor”, just to remember the good old days. I also can’t help but wonder what goofy thing I do that my daughter and her family will snicker about when I’m dead and gone. I feel like I should make a list of possibilities and leave it with my Will.
Poor, poor Debbie! Most airline travelers seem to feel very entitled and that they are the one person who doesn’t have to follow the rules. At least Debbie was able to round up her $hit and carry on. She could have slid down the emergency slide holding a bottle of champagne and the guy’s third bag!
” It’s so much harder than I thought it would be.”
Dearest Jenny,
I would love to tell you that it gets easier, but that would be a lie.
And, as I have always said, “Liars go to Boise.”
(FWIW, I don’t believe in Hell, so Boise is, IMHO, the worst option, for me. For Boise natives, Sorry. You can love it all you want. No disrespect intended.)
So, here is the very best thing. When your children are children, you have to be their parent first. But now that they are adults, you can truly be friends. And it’s different, but it’s also perfectly perfect. I hope that helps. ❤️
Lol! My husband and I have a secret saying ‘ten past five’ for when either of us spout some random disconnected sentence the other cannot comprehend. Started about 35 years ago from a car clock stuck on ‘ten past five’. Saves a lot of explaining-time!
I LOVE Debbie! Years ago flying from New York to New Orleans via Chicago and the plane in NY was delayed. We were last at the gate in Chicago when told none of our hand luggage could be taken into the cabin; the language was … fruity and I promptly told the cabin crew it was their job to ensure passengers only took on their allotted amount of baggage. In the end I put a load of necessary stuff in my handbag and my friend Jennifer’s wine was placed in a special padded container with the promise that our baggage would be first off. Thankfully nothing was broken. Debbie rules!
Debbie is my spirit animal!!! I battle with the bag police constantly but it’s because mine is tiny and fits in ALL overhead bins even if the plane is a crop duster. Reminds me of what I saw at the hospital yesterday and a guy was losing his Sh!T in the CT waiting area. He kept demanding to speak with the manager. I was like really dude??? Just do what they say and get over it. He held a room of over 100 people captive for 10 minutes. I mean it did help pass the time while sipping my barium. 😂
It’s so very hard to live this change. You will always be mommy. Always. And for goodness sakes YOU CANNOT HAVE 3 BAGS!!!!!
I mean, I say “knock knock,motherfucker” ALL THE TIME. You are constantly quoted in my house, but for all the right reasons. ☺️
Years ago, I was capitalizing on a Diet Coke sale at Cub Foods by purchasing several cases. As I walked by a woman and her son, he said, “Mom, look” and motioned toward my cart. She shushed him quickly and said, “Jimmy. Don’t stare”. It has become a great phrase in my life.
What a wonderful trip. Debbie was the icing on the cake.
I am headed on a family vacation this week and just made this the mantra I’ll repeat when anyone, including me, loses their shit! Dying.
I can so relate to this. We’ve been married for 32 years next month and we have so many “in” jokes that bring us joy but mean NOTHING to anyone else. Find your joy!
Stopped at a quaint diner in Gallopolis, OH on a cross-country trip. Lobely view of the Ohio River, tasty food and nice folks who told us our military is behind climate change. Our new inside joke: the military is behind it!
This is the best age. I have three girls that are now adults and it’s like I gave birth to my three best friends. Seeing the world through their eyes even now is an honour and a privilege
My baby will be a high school senior this year. I feel the emotions you are going through.
Years ago, my friend took me to her aunt’s newly built house. We were on the back porch when the aunt asked me to go get something from the “continent”. That is what she called her kitchen island “because it is way too big and impressive to be a mere island.” Whenever someone is being snooty or bragging, we mutter about their continent.
I’m a f/a and probably from the airline you flew. The rule is 2 bags and it’s supposed to be enforced. That said, the second f/a, instead of backing her up on the rule, pushed her over the edge. Ah, Debbie. I feel ya girl.
Such a beautiful way to make that transition into a new life!
I tore the meniscus on my right knee a few years back but was determined to make my planned Hawaii trip. I got to my gate with my walking stuck (the kind hikers use) my roller bag and my day pack as well as my CPAP machine. I was almost immediately approached by a loud crazy woman who informed me that I can’t have three bags and why was I sitting in the handicapped area and that’s not even a real cane! I said it’s a real mobility device and the bags would be sorted out by the cabin crew. That wasn’t good enough for her. CPAP is not counted as a Cary on. She went on and on finally the gait attendant had heard enough and asked me for my boarding pass and the boarding pass of crazy lady. When she came back I was in a bulk head seat at the front of the plane and crazy lady was still at the back in her original seat. The gait attendant had me board early while crazy lady sighed passive aggressively in the background many people were amused. Three people offered to carry my bags. It was beautiful.
Dearest Jenny, I well remember my now 32 year old daughter moving 6 hours away for college. Yes, it is bittersweet, but this is what you & Victor have raised them for…to leave the nest & spread their wings. You’ve done an amazing job & now can look on as this wonderful young person shares their gifts w the wider world.
Stay strong, Mama. Trust me, your relationship will deepen from that of not only parent & child but also one of true friendship as the years progress.
With love & admiration. 😘
Dearest Jenny, I well remember my now 32 year old daughter moving 6 hours away for college. Yes, it is bittersweet, but this is what you & Victor have raised them for…to leave the nest & spread their wings. You’ve done an amazing job & now can look on as this wonderful young person shares their gifts w the wider world.
Stay strong, Mama. Trust me, your relationship will deepen from that of not only parent & child but also one of true friendship as the years progress.
With love & admiration. 😘
In my head it’s turning into “Eight is a lot of legs, Debbie”
This post reminded me of something my best friend said years ago, “All dogs are smarter than all cats.” She didn’t even mean it at the time–several of us were having a teasing discussion about the relative intelligence of cats and dogs and somehow she had been pushed into the corner of defending dogs’ brain power. My husband and I say that to each other now when one of us is stating a demonstrably un-defendable opinion. (Don’t tell my friend, though. I think she’s still embarrassed.)
Such much fun to read your posts! But, I have to point out a typo….you used loose instead of lose. (Sorry, can’t help it!!)
My husband and I were walking around downtown Palo Alto a few months ago. The crosswalks have a speaker that says (very loudly, and kind of rudely) “wait!” when you press the button to walk. So I started sharply (and kind of loudly) saying it back everytime I pressed the button. Well, one time when I did it, a couple was walking towards us, crossing against the light. I’m pretty sure they told several people about the “Karen” who yelled “wait!” at them for jaywalking 😂
The level of grace you give to others who are having a hard time is something I aspire to. No judgement, Debbie. We’ve all been there.
I really, really hope there are people out there who quote strange things I say. I mean, other than family. I know my family does. My niece and her friends use a rule I gave them at a party once when I had to leave so there wouldn’t be any adult supervision… every time a new friend joins their group they all say: “House rule. No orgies or piles of drugs.” (There is then apparently a debate about how many drugs are required for a pile.)
Another one – on the train in Portland Oregon, at each stop a mechanical voice says, “DOORS WILL OPEN TO MY RIGHT.” and my husband said, “Yes, but WHERE ARE YOU? Will that be YOUR right or MY right?” To this day any train we’re on, we’ll whisper “Doors will open to my right…” and laugh.
Our phrase is because an old man at the grocery store once looked at me when I had brushed by him to put something back on the shelf. I said “excuse me”. He looked at me and said “Caca!”. So now for my husband and me it’s “the word of the day is Caca!
My husband and I have a saying we use that we overheard about 32 years ago. So you and Debbie will live in infamy.
Not quite the same thing but one of your most popular blog posts has definitely put “DING DONG, MOTHERFUCKER” in the lexicons of many. 🙂 That’s all it takes to know another Bloggess fan is in da house!
Many years ago we were in a supermarket where a lady dressed in a very expensive outfit and a killer haircut was arguing with the clerk about the fact that they were out of oranges. Apparently there was a temporary shortage of oranges, although we were otherwise surrounded by beautiful displays of produce from every corner of the globe. At that moment she chose to announce loudly and angrily to everyone standing near: “THERE ARE NO ORANGES. ITS LIKE LIVING IN A COMMUNIST COUNTRY!” Ever since, any time anyone in the family gets upset about a relatively minor matter, someone is sure to shake their head gravely and say, “Sad. It’s like living in a communist country…”
for my cousins & me it’s, “Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong”. A scold from our strident, never wrong Aunt. It was over 30 years ago and we still use it.
I quote you and your Hisstopher Columbus description almost monthly in my life. You are a joy-bringer!
Don’t undermine Debbie’s authority!
One time my husband and I were shopping in Wal-Mart and we were at opposite ends of the aisle walking towards each other. There was a man walking in front of his wife who was pushing the cart. Suddenly he stops and says”Godammit Shirley, quit ramming me with the cart!” My husband looked at me and we both lost it! I promptly went around the corner and wet my pants. And poor Shirley lives on everytime we are frustrated with something:)
I’ll meet you at 3:00am as I replay whatever stupidity I said in 1985 to my fellow 6th grade classmates.
I know for a FACT my krewe cackles every time one of us says or types “knock knock, motherfucker”. So thank you for that.
“For CRIPES sake Frank”!!! Yup…that’s our family exclamation when under duress. It’s a long story but trust me, works every time. You’ve done fabulous bringing up that wonderful human. X
I can’t figure out if you meant “lose” her shit or if you really wanted to go with “loose.” Now I have an awful image of Debbie stuck in my head.
(Ha! Gotta fix that one. ~ Jenny)
My brother and I were at our parents for Christmas in the late 80s and my mom’s soap opera was on. One woman said to another woman a “you conniving, scheming cocky little twit.” We doubled over with laughter and repeated it to each other for years and years.
Also, I have a child that just graduated and I’m having all the feels. It’s a rollercoaster!!
I mean, I live across the world from you and I say ‘knock knock motherfucker’, so I don’t think you need to worry about people repeating stuff you say.
My best friend and I still say, “And I had to wear my boots allll daaayyy” in a very whiny, distraught voice whenever something relatively benign is super irritating. Twenty-five years ago or so, she was an intern in our college’s athletic director’s office. His 8-yo son arrived after school in a state. A slew of things had not gone his way that day, including forgetting his inside shoes during Iowa winter, so he ended his retelling of the day with, “And I had to wear my boots allll daaayyyy,” which is the worst. Winter boots inside are clunky and hot. Noaf-un. Also something we say instead of “no fun.”
Oh Debbie…she lays down the law of the unfriendly skies while she deals with 3 bagged fools. My little top hat tips to her. May her bombastic defense of regulations reign forever.
Also I think Debbie’s new nickname should be Debbie (Dirty) Harry-she’s rightfully over it, and ready for you to make her day.
Side note that we have an inside joke in our house that we say with hyperbole when we are faced with insignificantly small or non existent problems: “Now I’ve got THAT to worry about.”
I dropped my flip flop in to hospital restroom toilet while trying to push the flush handle with my foot. While standing at the sink like a drunk flamingo I thought of Jenny and hoped she was having a wonder filled day.