Today is our 27th anniversary.
I looked it up and the 27th wedding anniversary doesn’t have a traditional name but I did find out that the number 27 is “the radix of the septemvigesimal position” and so I proposed we get matching septum piercings to commemorate our love, but Victor wasn’t into it because I guess he’s saving his septum virginity for his next marriage.
Anyway, if you’re having a hard time celebrating the 4th of July because America is a bit insane at the moment you can feel free to celebrate our anniversary instead. Happy Septemvigesimal Day to all! Please eat cake, do your favorite thing and snuggle with animals to celebrate.
Septum piercings optional.