Honestly, the most relatable Jesus I’ve ever seen.

I found this painting at a resell shop and I didn’t buy it because it seems sacrilegious to buy a Jesus painting if you’re not really religious but also, I love it so much. There’s just something about Jesus doing the exasperated face-palm sigh like, “Jesus Christ, these fucking people” that makes me go, “Wait, am I religious? Because I 100% feel this, sir. RELATABLE CONTENT.”

This image is now my go-to response when hateful people on the internet say things so ridiculous that I can’t express how dumb they are in words. This is why art exists.

PS. Speaking of art, I’m overwhelmed and thrilled with how many of you already subscribed to my art substack and to thank you I’m sending out tiny sketches randomly every single month. Check your email. I super crazy love you.

50 thoughts on “Honestly, the most relatable Jesus I’ve ever seen.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I’ve got a huuuge antique Jesus painting hidden in my “fight club room”. It’s the room we do not talk about.
    If he was face palming in it I might hang it up.

  2. If you don’t go back and buy it, please tell me where the shop is because I’ll call them and have them ship it to me. No Jesus art in this house, unless you count TMNT Jesus, but that one makes the cut.

  3. I’m Jewish, but so was he (allegedly) and this is SO relatable! It’s me hosting Rosh Hashanah dinner when my mom texts at the last minute to tell me she won’t be joining us. And she was supposed to bring the lokshen kugel! Facepalm indeed, sir, facepalm indeed.

  4. I was just debating this with a non-religious friend. The fact is that Jesus is largely regarded as a historically accurate person in existence (search for “historical Jesus” and the articles in the footnotes on wikipedia are a good start).

    So, regardless of if you believe all the religious parts, historians largely agree that Jesus was a real person that lived, was baptized and crucified, and created some public disturbances and anti-establishment movements and lots of conversations.

    So in that sense, you could buy, hang, and admire this painting that represents a historical person that stirred the pot on a regular basis and is also so done with this day.

  5. I know if Jesus hears what I communicate to him he is exasperated. I am heartened that Jesus may be happy with my fellow humans. Gives me a tiny bit of hope. For me, not so much. He knows I am a nitwit—but entertaining for Him.

  6. I’m a Jesus fan and I love this depiction! Pretty sure this was Jesus over the weekend, reviewing the Texas Legislature’s decision to acquit the criminal who “leads” our state’s legal justice system.

  7. He looks like He’s sautéeing a pan full of onions and the process is tiring him out.Me too,Jesus-me,too.

  8. The perfect image of the historical Jesus with his head in his hand and a tear running down his face at the inhumanity of humans against other humans. I think you should go back and buy it because it speaks to you, and you don’t have to be religious to appreciate what Jesus stands for in his story and history.

  9. The flowers around it are nice. I have the same issue though. No religious inclinations but sometimes the art is appealing and I feel like a hypocrite.

  10. That portrait is great. I would put it in a triptych with the one of Jesus laughing and the one where he tells people to love everyone else, someone answers with a question about people who are gay or have other religions, and Jesus says, “DID I FUCKING STUTTER?”

  11. PS As the bumper sticker says, “I think Jesus is cool, but his fan club scares the crap out of me.”

  12. That is a great image. I have a postcard of Georgia OKeefe with her face resting on her palm staring at the camera. Her look can be interpreted so many ways. I can just see her thinking “oh brother….”

  13. I passed up a lenticular picture of Jesus. He changed expressions when you tilted it. I did not pass up the silver glitter Jesus bank, though, and gifted it to a friend. These treasures go to who they’re meant to, apparently. Your left-behind painting will, too.

  14. Okay, I totally get the sentiment. But since he’s wearing a crown of thorns, perhaps he’s saying, “God, I have such a headache!”?

  15. That would be great to have hanging in my office at work. Then, whenever someone did or said something stupid, I could point at it and say “Look! Even Jesus thinks that’s dumb!”

  16. I’m not religious, either, but I have an Abalone Jesus and a light-up Scallop Mary (tacky beach souvenirs). Mom has a flamingo with a whelk – we’re calling him St. Lawrence of Whelk. I’m working on a religion based on them. The “holy water” is my brother’s mai tais.

  17. My sister-in-law has a picture of Jesus that my husband and I think looks like Nicholas Cage. We now refer to the picture as Nicholas Cage Jesus.

  18. May I make a not entirely inappropriate book recommendation here and now? Larry’s Post-Rapture Pet-Sitting Service by Ellen King Rice.

    The Rapture is occurring in alphabetical order, by country. Those who think they’re a shoe-in…aren’t, and to their immense consternation, those not saved, often as not, are. Dogs were the first to be taken up. Larry, a man of flexible morals, has concocted an easy money scheme that isn’t, but he won’t give himself a pass because this is important. He collects stray people as readily as cats (fifteen and counting on his screened in porch as the novel begins), and I love them all, even the unlovable. This novel is a delight, though not the quirky romp you expect. It is thought provoking in the loveliest way a novel can be–I haven’t stopped thinking about it, yet.

  19. Jesus is like, “Jesus Christ!!!” Right back at you, Jesus…

    I made this exact face today and cried in my hands over my toaster.

    The internet and it’s jerk terribleness must be in cahoots with my surgery coordinator who is apathetically (and possibly drunkenly) doing absolutely everything wrong, including scheduling me for the WRONG TYPE OF SURGERY.🥴😨😬☠️

  20. Jesus was way cool
    Everybody liked Jesus
    Everybody wanted to hang out with him
    Anything he wanted to do, he did
    He turned water into wine
    And if he wanted to
    He could have turned wheat into marijuana
    Or sugar into cocaine
    Or vitamin pills into amphetamines
    He walked on the water
    And swam on the land
    He would tell these stories
    And people would listen
    He was really cool
    If you were blind or lame
    You just went to Jesus
    And he would put his hands on you
    And you would be healed
    That’s so cool
    He could’ve played guitar better than Hendrix
    He could’ve told the future
    He could’ve baked the most delicious cake in the world
    He could’ve scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
    He could’ve danced better than Barishnikov
    Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
    Jesus was way cool
    He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
    That’s so cool
    Jesus was so cool
    But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
    So they killed him
    But then he rose from the dead
    He rose from the dead, danced around, and went up to heaven
    I mean, that’s so cool
    Jesus was way cool
    No wonder there are so many Christians

  21. That last one was from me, Storm the Klingon. For some reason, the reply function isn’t asking for a name.

    BTW, that was the genius of King Missile, not my own.

    Your Pal,

    Storm the Klingon

  22. I definitely relate to Jesus in that painting. Sometimes I feel that way about other people, and sometimes it’s directed at myself. 😆

  23. I’m Catholic and I support this message. Any time I can find pictures of Jesus keepin’ it real, I’m in. I bought a shirt at Buc-ee’s that reads “this close to flipping tables like Jesus” and I wear it whenever I’m forced to do something ridiculous.

  24. Lamb is my favorite book of all time! Why? Because Jesus has a baby brother who plays roughly with small lizards, and if they die, Jesus picks it up, puts its head in his mouth, brings it back to life and hands it back to his little brother to keep him occupied. And that is just the beginning. THE BEST!!

  25. I Imagine Jesus as a dedicated parent to all humans, who loves them dearly, but cannot interfere directly in their choices. As a diety, this must be utterly exasperating.

  26. Sent this to my 14 year old and now he wants me to cross stitch it for his locker. He’s NEVER asked me to make him something before and was adamantly against decorating his locker. Apparently this just speaks to his soul. Now to figure out how the hell im going to manage it!

  27. As a follower of Christ who frequently says fuck, I find most people’s perception of Jesus has been skewed by religion and the Church to the point that all they think of is a condemning Jesus who curses them rather than one who loves them and wants them to know His love.

    People continually fuck up Jesus’s reality and it pisses me off.

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