I shouldn’t be allowed outside.

Several things:

First off, did you see the solar eclipse this weekend? Because I did and it was awesome, except that I couldn’t get a picture of it. But I could see the eclipse in the shadows of the tree leaves, like tiny unicorn hooves. The video shows it better than I could explain it:

Also, I noted in the comments that Victor doesn’t normally sound like that but that he was doing a caveman and then I had to go back and clarify that I meant that he was doing an impression of a caveman, not actually doing a caveman and that probably wasn’t a needed clarification but I was a little flustered because right after this a neighbor was walking by with a dog and they stared at me and I realized that I was crouched in the middle of the street, totally focused on making videos of the asphalt and so I was like, “DID YOU SEE THE ECLIPSE?” and pointed at the sun, which totally looked like a normal sun if you weren’t wearing the special glasses that let you stare directly at it. And he was like, “Um…no” and left very quickly and then I realized that I’d used the wrong word and for some reason had said “DID YOU SEE THE CYCLOPS?” while staring at the sun. Why did I say “cyclops”? No fucking idea.

Secondly, I very much appreciated the suggestions for horror movies and I am currently watching SLOTHERHOUSE, which is a sorority house slasher movie where the villain is an actual sloth and it is just awful, which I sort of love.

Third, I just shared something on my substack that you might need to read and it’s open to all. Also, let this graphic be a lesson to all of you of the importance of knowing when your title cuts off:

Spoiler: It was not a long tit.

28 thoughts on “I shouldn’t be allowed outside.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I really needed that substack today. Thank you for sharing it. I sometimes forget when I’m creating that it is supposed to be fun and healing and is not a pursuit of perfection but creation. I loved your picture!

  2. Oh, yes. The blue just perfectly captures coming home to a cozy house on a cold, clear winter night.

  3. Absolutely love everything about this post – from your excited yelp of “raven!” to the beautiful picture on substance (I love the blue!) to the “long tit”. And I thought you might appreciate that a friend of mine posted a recipe on FB that he apparently makes all the time, but the only ingredient I can remember is “loose Italian sausage” because it made me laugh so hard I snorted, and did not AT ALL make me want to make or eat that recipe. Thank you for sharing some beauty and laughter with all of us!

  4. So, I just laughed my ass off. I know you struggle from anxiety and depression, Jenny, but you amaze me because I have thoughts like these, but I’m definitely not brave enough to post the wild shit that I think. And I sent a message to my best friend that I wish I could be friends with you IRL, but I’m afraid I would still be anxious (and weird).

  5. Oooh, your video looked like soap bubbles on the pavement, awesome! And then you saw a raven, and I absolutely love ravens, crows, and other birds from that bird type because they are so smart.
    I couldn’t see the solar eclipse because I live in the Northeast, and it was raining that day.
    I would have definitely thought Cyclops and eclipse are related, it’s like a giant cyclops eye in the sky winking at us.
    And there is nothing sexier than a man using funny caveman voices to sweet talk!

  6. LOVE (so sorry I’m yelling too 😂) your drawing!! So inspired, and I also loved what you wrote about going home within yourself. One would never guess you struggled at any point creating that! Truly.

    I understand the self talk though that you speak of. My left brain is constantly an overbearing barrier to my right brain. If it’s any consolation I’ve been working on the same painting for two years. 😂

    The creative process is never a straight line for me either. My painting started off in one direction, until one day I felt the overwhelming desire to change it. I was driven to incorporate the sky within my painting with gradation of light and dark blues, along with periwinkle tones. It was soothing to marry the cool tones alongside each other, and in the end it made sense with where the painting was headed.

    I’m still working on it, but I’m glad I added that element. Creativity is a winding road! 😊

    Also I wanted to throw out one more Halloween horror movie recommendation- Prey. It is a prequel to The Predator movies, and the movie is based a Comanche warrior who fights to protect her family from an alien-Predator. Very well done. It’s on Hulu 😊

  7. As an IT member of an organization of 1200 staff, I used to send out a ‘Tip of the Week’ to inform of changes to applications, or information on computers and security among other tidbits. One time in the Subject line, I put ‘Tit of the Week’ which resulted in many funny replies from users. CEO asked that the email be recalled. He didn’t realize that the Subject line does not change when you recall a message. I was inundated with messages because users had not noticed the spelling in the first message and a recall only brought it to their attention.

  8. I took a bunch of extra eclipse glasses with me to a big outdoor event that day and mostly shared them with kids. Explained that we NEVER NEVER look directly at the Sun without special glasses and then let them try it out. Without fail – every kid’s jaw dropped and they’d go WOW that’s cool and it was the best thing ever <3

  9. Thank you for not putting everything under the paywall on substack. i need your magicalness in my life but am on fixed income currently. ♥️

  10. This weekend I couldn’t think of the word for “file cabinet” and called it an “oil cabinet.” Which doesn’t make sense, but now my husband and I call our file cabinet an oil cabinet. And now this reply is just a long way of saying I relate to you saying “cyclops” instead of “eclipse”, and I think I’d better stop now.

  11. Thank You for opening Substack to non-subscribers. I’m struggling financially and mentally and am about to lose everything and can’t afford to subscribe (much less anything else… but reading this gave me a little hope (and a lot of tears). And I know I’ll make it to tomorrow. Thank you for that.

    (I think I found a way to gift you a free year. Not sure if it worked but check the email you’re using here to see. Sending love. ~ Jenny)

  12. The eclipse was perfect here because it was filtered through the clouds and you could see it without the glasses, unless a hole popped up in the clouds and then you’d better look away fast.

  13. Sorry Jen: turkey vulture. Not a raven. I was outside during the eclipse, waiting for the dim twilight, and missed the whole unicorn feature! Your video of it is incredible.

  14. Laurie, I couldn’t agree more; Jenny’s brain has autocorrect…and autocorrupt, too.

  15. Some of my favorites that seem like good company for a killer sloth: Attack of the Killer Donuts, Zombeavers, Llamageddon, Killer Piñata.

  16. I watched Slotherhouse, I loved it! Thank you for the suggestion. Another good one is “Zombeavers.”

  17. Woah! In the eclipse video, below the raven, there’s a lens flare dot (or rather circle) where you can see the eclipse! As in the lens flare is a circle with a dark dot in it! I didn’t know that could happen, that’s so cool!

  18. Jenny, go back and look carefully at your video. Every time the sun gets well into the frame, there’s an internal reflection from the lenses, exactly opposite the sun from center, and it shows the eclipse! I never realized that would work.

    [Internal reflections are a common thing, responsible for many ‘UFOs’ and ‘ghosts,’ but this is the first I’ve seen an eclipse imaged this way. Good capture!]

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