I blame the rickets.

I’m on day 7 of this mandatory low-carb, low-sugar diet-for-not-dying and everyone told me that I’d have the I-want-to-stab-everyone-carb-detox-flu for a few days, but then after that I’d have lots of energy and the cravings would lessen and they are right because now I have enough energy to loudly whine about how much I miss egg rolls rather thanContinue reading “I blame the rickets.”

Drop the possum.

Every New Year’s Day my superstitious family eats black-eyed peas for luck, and cabbage for money.  It makes everyone gassy, but we still do it because we’re afraid of the demons which apparently punish you for…not having access to peas, I guess?  Still, it’s slightly more sane than other people’s New Year’s traditions (according to thisContinue reading “Drop the possum.”

Grossest analogy ever

Conversation I had with Victor after we fucked something up: Victor: Yes, it sucks, but we’ve got a big shit sandwich here and we’re all going to have to take a bite. me: I don’t understand that analogy.  You say it all the time and it makes no sense. Victor: It totally makes sense.  SomethingContinue reading “Grossest analogy ever”

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