functions I shouldn’t be allowed to attend – Page 6

Dear internet: You have lost your damn mind. Never change.

If this is your first time here you should skip this post. Really. Go away until tomorrow. It’s one long run-on sentence and makes almost no sense and it’s filled with typos. I haven’t slept in two days. The last 36 hours has been strange even by my personal standards. First of all, after twoContinue reading “Dear internet: You have lost your damn mind. Never change.”

UPDATED: SXSW…sort of.

The SXSW festival is an hour from my house but I never go to it because crowds scare the shit out of me and also because it’s super expensive and I don’t have enough xanax and/or facial hair to fit in there, but last week I got invited to some kind of SXSW civility luncheonContinue reading “UPDATED: SXSW…sort of.”

And this is exactly why I don’t trust PR people.

Okay, so last week I got an email asking if I was interested in interviewing Katherine Heigl and I ignored it because I’m irresponsible. I also ignored the email I got on the same day asking if I wanted to interview the guy who plays Sportacus on Lazy Town (true story). The Lazy Town personContinue reading “And this is *exactly* why I don’t trust PR people.”

Who the fuck has never heard of a chalupa? (Updated. Now with more apologies.)

I wrote this post weeks ago but then I got distracted and never published it and now I can’t remember the ending but I’m super-hurty from an arthritis flair-up so I’m posting it like it really all happened yesterday. I am the worst blogger ever. So yesterday I spent the day with Maile, Rachel, LauraContinue reading “Who the fuck has never heard of a chalupa? (Updated. Now with more apologies.)”

James Garfield is a goddamn saint. Almost

It’s the day before Christmas Eve and the completely inadvertent Christmas miracle is still going on over here between people who are now matching themselves up since I’ve officially hit the brick wall of exhaustion. If you want to help or need help you can comment by clicking here but for now lets get backContinue reading “James Garfield is a goddamn saint. Almost”

And then they asked if I’d like to interview Santa Claus. That happened.

A few days ago a PR agency asked if I’d like to do a live video interview with Santa and was like “You have obviously never read me. OF COURSE I’LL DO A LIVE, UNSCRIPTED INTERVIEW WITH SANTA CLAUS WHERE I CAN ASK HIM ANYTHING WITH NO REPERCUSSIONS” and then I felt a little badContinue reading “And then they asked if I’d like to interview Santa Claus. That happened.”