So, I saw this on Pinterest…
…and I was like, “Holy hell. Yes. This happens to me every damn week when I try to sign up on a new website” and so I went to pin the picture on my board and then I got this message:
So basically I tried to pin a picture explaining how baffling it is when your computer is like, “What is wrong with you? You’ve already done this, asshole” and then my computer was like, “What is wrong with you? You’ve already done this, asshole.”
Awesome. Things are worse than I thought. Unless, of course, I thought it was worse than this at some point in the past but I’ve just forgotten just how bad I once thought that it was. I really can’t be trusted at this point.
Ps. No worries if you miss today’s post because I assume next year this’ll happen again and I’ll write almost the exact same post all over again.
PPS. Is it just me? Am I just getting old? Or is it just that we have so many things in our heads nowadays that they have to be purged often so we have more room for algebra formulas and videos of cats falling off tables?
And in other news, it’s time for the weekly wrap-up: What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- As requested, THE BLOGGESS IS MY COPILOT mugs. This might seem a bit sacrilegious because Jesus is supposed to be your copilot, but Jesus is always having to “take the wheel” and give people piggie-back rides on the beach and be your copilot but technically Jesus never drove, so maybe stop making him your chauffeur. Also, why do the same people who say “Jesus, take the wheel!” always have those bumper stickers that say “In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned”? It seems a bit selfish. “Jesus, take the wheel! (Unless I’m already in heaven and in that case just let this car run into an animal shelter, because fuck those cats.)” I might be misinterpreting that though. I haven’t got the part in the Bible where Jesus got his learner’s permit.
What you missed on the internets:
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
- Wil Wheaton made me a bit weepy.
- Beyoncé is now a Small God.
- 5 points for whoever guesses why Anne was at my house. Hint: Two of my three cats were involved.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
- The scary ham.
- STOP MAKING ME CRY, LEVAR BURTON.
- Fat Cat in Art. It’s poorly translated into English, which sort of makes it even better.
117 thoughts on “It’s worse than I thought. Unless I thought it was worse at one point and just forgot how bad I thought it was.”
Read comments below or add one.
It is not just you. (I do that crap all the time.) You are not getting old. We ALL have too much stuff in our heads constantly. In the future (probably too late to help us) brains will probably evolve into more efficient receptacles of superfluous information.
Passwords! Passwords on all these sites that I hardly use are the bane of my life! I’m constantly going through the ‘forgot your password’ faff and quite often I forget my login name too! Dammit.
All the time.
And I hate that “Pssst!” on Pinterest. It just seems like it really wants to say, “Hey, dumbass!”
That is so not just you. I say things like this more than seems normal; “What the hell do you mean I already have an account? I don’t think I even knew this site existed until about five minutes ago!” If it’s a sign of getting old, then I am ancient.
He asked, “Lord, what about when there was
only one set of footprints and also a
straight line with bootprints on one side
and small, round circles on the other?”
The Lord replied, “Those were the times
that I carried you, and we were joined
by a pirate pushing a wheelbarrow.”
Try not to worry too much about it. You are not alone. As it were, I JUST wrote a blog post about forgetting about 3 of my 4 kids. I think it’s time travel related.
Psst, gotta fix the Levar link, it’s going to Beyonce right now. Also, your post about forgetting stuff applies to all of us, not just you. For sure.
(Fixed! ~ Jenny)
I was going to put that we’re only meant to use 10% of our brain capacity, so surely all the crap we’ve forgotten is in there somewhere. We just don’t know how to access it.
But then I did some fact checking and it turns out the 10% thing isn’t a thing – it’s a load of made-up phooee (which is also a word I just made up). We actually apparently use ALL of our brain, which suggests there’s no hope. The computer’s going to get us every time.
For Anne’s calendar, I’m guessing. But to have fun & giggles is likely the real reason–that’s why I spend time with my friends.
Wil’s statement about how you helped him be brave by being brave is how so many of us feel. So thanks for all that you say that makes us feel better about how we feel.
There’s just too much stuff on the interwebs trying to steal our soul… er, money… er, time… Well, all of it. Just blame it on the wine. That’s what I do.
Just look at it this way – the universe has confirmed that you really know and love yourself.
Again and again.
In fact, I had to double check and make sure I hadn’t already tried to leave this comment.
I’m going to go with the thought that once you reach a critical mass of shit in your brain, it starts offloading the less critical pieces of information, like kids’ names, your shoe size, algebra…. At least you’re writing it all down, so some day someone will be able to do forensic research if need be.
Every damn day of my life.
I did the exact same thing with the exact same pin. I’ve referenced it so many times in conversations that people start to say “We get it. You think it is funny”. I usually smack my head and apologize. Then walk out like a boss. Yeah, I have issues
Blah, I do this all the time. It is maddening. Entirely.
Oh. Em. Gee. The LeVar Burton first Kickstarter Update video got me as well. Tears just started pouring down my cheeks and I was unable to explain to my 14yo DD what was wrong.
Happens to me all.the.time. Then, of course, I can’t figure out my password.
Ok I’m always this person.. but here’s a funny for you. So I log in to look at your mug.. and it’s en español! I have no idea Zazzle was bi-lingual.. LOL
That actually just happened to me two seconds ago on twitter!!! I was tweeting a bunch of my my crochet hats in my shop and got the “Pssst! You already tweeted this, maybe people want to see something different.” Thanks so much twitter.
I’ve done that more often than I want to admit. I retweet things about 10 times before it looks familiar to me. I also make people suffer through the same stories all the time. I’m only 20.
If I ever have a nervous breakdown it will surely be a result of a forgotten login/password combination. If I can remember one, I forget the other. Never fails.
If she wasn’t there just to put googly eyes on all of your possessions, I’m going to guess it has something to do with the Humane Society.
I’m glad you also like the Fat Cat Art. It makes me feel cooler than I probably should.
This is unrelated to your/my/our forgetfulness, but I have to attempt to gain some words of wisdom from my newest favorite writer: Today my mother demanded I take down my blog because I could possibly offend one of the people she sees around our very small, very Baptist town. I’m 25 & I couldn’t even explain to her that when you write, sometimes you may hurt some bitches’ feelings because you tell it the way you see/feel/whatever it. Without saying “fuck you!” even once I attempted to defend myself but it was fruitless. I changed a few negative connotations to nothing-ness which makes my writing worse, but I would love some advice, seriously.
Yesterday I read one of your chapters aloud to her (the 11 things that don’t happen to most people in North America chapter…obviously I’m paraphrasing the real title) & she cried laughing, so she’s not a prude, just overly conscious about what strangers think about her/our family. Should I care? Should I be more vague in my blog? HELP, JENNY!
Sometimes I feel like we’re the same person. And since we’ve never been seen in the same room at the same time by a third party I must believe it is so.
definitely not just you.. Let,s just chalk it up to getting older, and not the fact we are flakey!
So many times I’ve gone to write a post and discovered that I wrote almost the same thing before. All that duplicated work…
I always just try to sign in to a site a couple times first. If I can’t get in I sign up. If the site says I am a user, I try more variations on signing in. If I STILL can’t get in I debate on how much I actually need the site and look for the sign-up e-mail in my mailbox.
I go more of a “yo…dipshit” vibe from that Pinterest message than a “hey, asshole!” feel. I have a hard time with sites requiring passwords that I then forget and they don’t let you use a password you’ve ever used before. WHICH IS WHY I KEEP FORGETTING 😕
I have social anxiety disorder. I have also been very worried about how much I’ve forgotten, but my doctor once said this “You are so nervous and anxious in some situations that all of your energy is spent on maintaining a semblance of control or calm. You seem to be participating, but your brain doesn’t put any energy into creating and filing away what is taking place. It’s not that you’ve forgotten, you never filed it in the first place.” That makes sense to me. Now I just laugh it off and say that I get to experience new things over and over. You say I’ve seen that movie already? Well, I don’t remember, so it’s new again! 😉
I do the same thing, online and offline, think of something and then like days later, sometimes hours later, think of it again for what I think is the first time. Example. I’m thinking, “I’d like some ice cream,” so then I get to the Sonic to get my obsession, and I forgot I spent all my cash earlier that day, so I scrounge in the bottom of the purse for quarters, and I find 5 dollars I forgot I had from a week prior. Then I thank God for hooking me up because that shouldn’t happen like that.
I’ve been trying to take a very Zen approach to the fact that my memory now works like a kitchen appliance with faulty wiring. Instead of being frustrated when I don’t remember things, I’m just pleasantly surprised when I do remember things. And when I get to laugh at a joke that I’ve laughed at before because I didn’t remember the punchline from the first time I heard it, that’s always a win.
It’s just like the movie Inception but without the low brass soundtrack.
I have NEVER repeated myself. Also, I have NEVER repeated myself.
Omg, the ham story. So freaking funny.
I kept rooting for the Viking funeral for the scary ham but in the end that was a very fitting service.
We were going through my grandma’s house to try to clear some clutter and we found old plates that I swear have Beyonce on them. I can’t get my pic to attach but I promise I will figure it out lol!
I get those on Pinterest all the time. Sometimes I think it’s just fucking with me, and then I pigheadedly pin it again anyway because fuck you, thing. I really like that picture, and by god I’m gonna pin that shit again. So there.
Firstly, I must address this Levar Burton news. He was one my sisters first love, and one of my idols early one (was brought up by a Treckie ^^) and it is just awesome to see fellow Reading Rainbow fan (because I am a kid of the 80’s too) share support for the come back of the show. Because OMG it was the best kids show of all time. Ever. OF ALL TIME.
Secondly, yes. That is all I can say about your post. True to the T. Spend my life wondering how I’ve already signed up for said site. The Internet is a black hole, there’s nothing to be done.
I hate when I have a wonderful idea for a blog post and then I post it and stress for days that I’ve actually already written the SAME THING. It could totally happen. My kids take me for money constantly because I can never remember if I gave them lunch money. You are not alone! P.S. Call me! P.P.S. I know you don’t even have my number, I just wanted people to think we’re tight. Cause in my mind, we totally are.
Don’t feel bad…I do this all the time.
Beyoncé needs a theme song. Something like…
Knock, knock, motherfucker
I see you but you don’t see me
Knock, knock, motherfucker
Standin’ at your door, all metal and rusty
My name is Beyoncé, and I know Kung Fu
Mess with The Bloggess, and I’ll cut you
I’m VandalEyes’d for maximum effect
You’ll Pin this now, but you’re going to forget
I am often sad that I can’t de-frag. I think that would feel so good. Since I still remember the plot of every novel I read when I was 10, it would be so good to make some room in my noggin.
That ham story was the funniest thing ever. Also, many times now if I go to a site and they try to make me sign up for it, I just close the window. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Like when they ask for your email address at clothing stores. I just say, you don’t need that information.
Wow, I’m crochety at 27. Or, just tired of spam and signing in to things?
My computer is always saying “I don’t feel like doing that so I’m going to do absolutely nothing instead.” To which I reply “F**K YOU! I Own You, Do As I Command!” Then my computer redirects me to the Emancipation Proclamation and I get out my iPad and play Candy Crush for an hour while I calm down.
I forgot my password for the site to pay my student loans EVERY SINGLE MONTH. And they won’t let you re-use passwords. And it must be at least 12 characters with capital and lowercase and number and special character and wing-dings and Chinese and the blood of your first-born child. Then I figured out how to do with bill pay on my bank’s website. DUH.
The ham story made my week!
So this happens to me too–only it’s even worse today. I just published a new blog post 10 minutes ago, only to have it pop up as having been posted yesterday. So, now I’m wondering whether I accidentally published the draft yesterday and just updated it now? Honestly, I think I’m losing my mind sometimes. Glad to know I’m in good company.
I am a genius. Wrote all my usernames and passwords in a notebook. I have absolutely no idea where the notebook is now. I adore your blog.
I got an email from Pinterest because apparently I have an account with them. I was either highly intoxicated when I created said account (which just shows how cool I am when I’m drunk) or I have amnesia, because my life is basically a 90s sitcom.
I’ve been known to create new email accounts to resign up to websites I can’t remember signing up to if I can’t log in to them.
That ham story was PRICELESS! Thank you for sharing.
And yeah, you aren’t alone. I’m constantly forgetting something. Places I’ve been, people I’ve met, the list could go on forever.
I was once, a long long time ago, the manager of a computer department tasked with putting in a new system that everyone would use. One dear old (older than me that is) woman was forever forgetting her password and we had to give her a new one, send her a note in the internal mail blah blah. So it transpires that I am in her office attending to some other mater and she says the she has again forgotten her password. I ring down to my able assistant and tell her Mary ***** needs a new password stupid old cow. Mary shortly receives by internal mail her new password ‘stupidoldcow’ problem solved since she never forgot that one.
Apparently I repeat myself a lot. A LOT, a lot. It seems other people find me irritating, because I repeat myself. A lot.
I do this all. the. time. All the time. Especially on Pinterest. (You have pinned this. On two different boards, two! Do you want it on three different boards? Hello?)
Also, dog is my copilot. But I would also love The Bloggess.
The whole thing about Jesus is my co pilot was fantastic. So..when google cars go through my neighborhood, were they once driven by Google employees that have been raptured?
I have the “Giblets is my copilot” bumper sticker on my fridge and so you will be in very good and excellent company when I add yours.
Perish the thought, sunshine! You’re getting wilder, funner and more brilliant with each passing nanosecond!
hmmm, i have trouble with books, like remembering i have already read them. the other day i got a book from the library and was showing it to my daughter. my 11 year old grandson looked at it and told me i had already read it. i asked him how he knew that and he replied he remembered seeing the cover on my table a while ago. so it looks like i will never run out of reading material but then rereading let’s pretend this never happened will be a new adventure every time
Yep. Happens all the time.
As a matter of fact, I read about the shit you did when you weren’t hear earlier then came back to read the shit you did when you weren’t here again.
But I already read it and was all, “What, she’s doing all this shit she did when she wasn’t here earlier again?”
Then it hit me.
Sorry, but the whole Reading Rainbow resurrection is totally ruined by Levar’s insanely insensitive comments after PSH’s death earlier this year. I’m all for Reading Rainbow, but perhaps with a different host.
I spent a good 15 minutes the other day trying to remember is I’m 30 or 31…or maybe 32…I never actually figured it out, just got distracted by other stuff and decided I’ll just say “I’m in my thirties.” So yeah, you’re not alone.
I hear you, trishiecat (above), but I double BUY my books…go figure:)
Not just you. Happens to me ALLLL the time. I have a special excel file (password protected) with all my passwords in it now. The problem is that sometimes I forget the password to the excel file.
OMG, first thing I thought when I read this was……..wait, who’s laptop is this?
Dammit… used the wrong “whose” and can’t edit. I guess I forget grammar rules too.
I constantly forget everything. My brain doesn’t have room for anything that isn’t related to novels. Total nerd 😛
Sorry to be one of those arseholes who point out potentially shitty things, but Will said “my friends and Jenny Lawson”.
There’s probably a few ways you could take the “and” – I’d suggest he meant to make you stand out as probably his best friend.
Yes, most definitely.
I was gonna say something about the post but then Anne and Vandaleyesed Beyonce totally blew it outta my mind.. which faintly rings about about something I was gonna say…
I perceive the whole attempted log on process EVIL; and as a way for tech support to showcase its infinitely better PW retention skill sets than I retain, as well as an excuse for judging me while I contemplate launching whatever electronic device crude enough to challenge my organization/memory capabilities, in a violent manner. Then I delight in recalling all the important/crucial life details, such as zombie apocalypse survival techniques and pondering why a computer system is programmed to make me feel like The Dame of Douchebaggery. YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME, I shout with righteousness indignation, when they cite this as a reason to increase my meds, I merely “Baaahh” at my PHD and tell him to peddle his conformity wares elsewhere. This blog topic merely solidifies my stance. The password man won’t control me…unless I’m attempting necessary consumer product purchases guaranteed to make my hubby pray for computer spousal monitoring or at least minimal oversight. Either way I win at the internet…in my own mind.
So if I’m in a bad situation on a road trip, can I throw up my hands and yell “Jenny, take the wheel?” ‘Cause my guess is there’s a lot of people asking Jesus to take the wheel, maybe I’ll not be as low in the queue if I call on you.
If you were to re-post this again in the near future, I seriously would believe it was the first time I saw it.
I’ve seen coffee mugs that say “God is my co-pilot”. One of my friends recently posted a pic of herself at the wheel and her pup in the passenger seat. Her caption said, Dog is my co-pilot.
I´m thinking about getting by those new driverless cars, as they bring down the risk of death in a car accident considerably. But I might as well wait for one that doen’t need passengers either. They reckon they’ll cut down the chance of dying in a car crash completely.
You’re certainly not the only one! 😀
You’re certainly not the only one! 😀
I have a ton of your mugs. What I really want is a “the Bloggess is my copilot” wine glass. Totally sounds kick ass. Let’s make that happen! ♡♥♡
Sundays are fabulous!
I also, am positively, having a ham sandwich for lunch.
Have you heard about http://stoptonymeow.com – an ap that replaces Australia’s loathsome Prime Minister’s image to a cute little kitty? Imagine what / who else we could disappear from the internets!
Too many things in the head Jenny!
I do this thing every night where I lie down close my eyes and try to meditate. ( I’ve convinced myself that lying down and being calm is another equivalent of meditation.)
Then random thoughts gush in as unexpectedly as bad surprises And then I imagine that I’m sweeping thought pellets under the bed or something. And focus again. But they come in again.
Then I fall asleep while mumbling…”well at least the place is clean.”
LOL! I do that all the time. Especially on Pinterest! 🙂
Your posts rock! Keep up the good work.
This happens to me all the time. Luckily I have a bunch of different email accounts, so sometimes instead of going through the password reset nonsense I just make a new account with a different email account. This works everywhere except Old Navy where I have a habit of locking my accounts, so I’ve literally accumulated accounts for every email I have. The NSA probably thinks I’m trying to confuse them about my casual clothes purchases, but I’m really just that silly when it comes to accounts.
I’m so glad it’s not just me!!
Also, I’m totally happy for LeVar Burton. That is just awesome!
kick ass money fairy tale http://m0be.com/njog698/df14e773
I can still do algebra and I’m ace at random pub trivia but I can’t remember names for the life of me. That already pinned message though? Love it, and get it at least once a week. Now what were we talking about again…? And where am I?
This is easy, Jenny…one night last week I left the keys in my front door. Thank God I don’t live in a high crime area.
I blame the government…
This happens to me at least 10 times every time I am on pinterest… I think they do it to screw with everyone… surely i haven’t already pinned this many things i dont remember
I do that all the time! So then of course I have to guess what password or email it is until I get the right combination… or just sign up again with a different email. And I totally try to re-pin things. I’m like oooooohhh this is cute and then Pinterest is like yeah, duh, you thought so a month ago, too. I blame it on the fact that there are way too many websites requiring logins.
Welcome to the world of WTF?? There are many of us here who didn’t know we were here. We arrived and forgot we were already here and when we tried to get in, they told us at the gate: “Hey Dumbass, you’re already here, don’t you remember??” And then we look at them with that dumbfounded look that says “Shit I’m getting old”.
I’m in a hospital bed recovering from an intentional overdose that lead to days on life support. I know the nurse in my room is getting concerned because I started out laughing at Gandalf and then I got sniffly about Wil and then cried with LeVar, and all in the four minutes since I started reading this post.
I just thought the tribe here would particularly appreciate the irony, because reading this blog definitely doesn’t make me more crazy, it just looks that way sometimes. 😉
(I’m glad you’re still here. Welcome to the tribe. ~ Jenny)
Where am I?
I’m fairly certain if the rapture does occur that all the animals are going first…I mean, that’s who I would take if I were God!
so I was eating blueberry yogurt and then I read this and then I laughed and inhaled a blueberry and I really REALLY thought that was the end for me.
Uh, try working at a place where you have to make reminder calls to clients…lose your place in the list and then double call 5 or 6 people before you figure out how far you were. They all think you’ve had a stroke.
I have a friend who keeps telling me the same stories over and over, because she knows she told them to someone but doesn’t remember if that someone was me. I can’t figure out if she just tells everyone the same stories. And I’m sooo hoping this is not me in several years:). So, yes, I GET IT:).
The Will Wheaton interview was wonderful.
I do this in real life. It’s one of the reasons I love meeting new people. I can be sure I’m not repeating myself!
I NEVER do that! But I did roll up at work today exactly on time instead of early like always AND I lost my keys which I never do either so I’m expecting to lose my mind any minute now! If you see me post this comment again later, you’ll know it happened!
I thought I was computer literate, but I can’t figure out Google + to save my life! Maybe I should wake up the small human…I’m sure the 6 yo can have me up & running in no time!!! GGGRRRRR.
That happens to me ALL THE TIME!
ok. I practically lived the scary ham story. Well, minus the scary ham, but only because no one ever gave my folks one.
I want a pensieve like in Harry Potter. I’d be able to clear out the junk that is clogging up my brain, but still could access those memories if I needed them.
Or a hard drive defragger for my brain. Better seek time.
My problem is that I know that I’ve signed up for something but I always forget my passwords. But I’m convinced I can remember them given enough chances. I usually give up and just sign up with another email address. Of course, I recently forgot the password to one of my email accounts so that’s great.
I do that, and then it will tell me my password is invalid because I forgot which variation of my password I’ve used for that particular site. Sigh.
what you’re forgetting/don’t know yet is that you did this in the future! this is rock solid proof that you have used a time machine…in. the. future. So you haven’t pinned it yet –in this time line–bear with me, it’ll make sense in about 6 years.
PS- Love your blog.
PPS -Loved your first book
PPPS – You are an amazing, inspirational wonder woman of awesomeness!
you are beautiful…just as you are.
I love your opening quote! It made me giggle 🙂 “It’s worse than I thought. Unless I thought it was worse at one point and just forgot how bad I thought it was.” This quote is so true! It is most definitely not age; it is the numerous things happening in life that you must remember and your brain is not able to do all of those things at once. Trust me; his happens to me too…way too often! I hate when I see something awesome on Pinterest and I want to repin it and it tells me that I already repinned it. In my mind I am thinking, “how could have I repinned this if I have never seen this before?” It must be a miracle right ?! 😉
I kept re-ordering the same shit on Amazon, demanded to know why they didn’t TELL me I’d already bought it from them, and was informed that they DO. So If you’re getting old, I’m way there ahead of you. (Of course, I think I AM older than you, so just forget this comment.)
It’s just like ‘Inception’, but the opposite. I guess it’s more like Ground Hog Day.
I forget entire books I’ve read and movies I’ve seen. Often I don’t remember that I’ve read/seen them until the very end. I have to keep a list of movies my husband and I have watched so that we don’t accidentally rent the same one twice. We recently watched the entire first 8 seasons of Law & Order (on purpose–we hadn’t seen them all). But I was at the gym over the weekend and they had a Law & Order episode on and I couldn’t figure out how we hadn’t seen that episode because it was clearly part of one of the first 8 seasons. I stayed on the elliptical for an extra five minutes so I could see how it ended. And then, once the end was revealed, I realized that we had totally seen it. Within the last six months probably. I think my brain is full and there’s no more room for new information.
glad I’m not alone here…
All. The. Time.
Also, we need “like” buttons for your comment section. These peoples are funneh up in here.
Yes. I think I write the same post at least once a year. And now stupid “similar posts” let’s me know it. Not only did I write that post, I named it exactly the same title. Geesh! I need some creativity.
Some Bible knowledge for ya 😉