rants – Page 4 – The Bloggess

Because some things are worth more than a box of cereal

Hi. I’m about to overstep my boundaries. You might want to back away slowly because I don’t usually do this and I might get blood on you. Okay, I’m pissed. Legitimately, ridiculously, slightly irrationally pissed. A few minutes ago I got a pitch from a company who wanted me to write a review for theirContinue reading “Because some things are worth more than a box of cereal”

It’s fairly obvious that we’re related. Also, we deal with pain through laughter in our family. Stop judging me.

First of all, thank you to everyone for being so supportive about Barnaby Jones. You made me cry (in a good way) and I needed to do that. It’s almost Sunday and I’m supposed to be writing my weekly wrap-up but I’m just not myself right now so I’m going to skip it until nextContinue reading “It’s fairly obvious that we’re related. Also, we deal with pain through laughter in our family. Stop judging me.”

Reason # 876 why marketers should read my blog before pitching me

Actual pitch I just received from a marketer: We’re fans of your blog, and we especially love your realistic perspective and experience with beauty products. We’re hoping you might be interested in trying our latest skincare discovery and reviewing it on your blog. In only 14 days, you’ll see a significant improvement in the textureContinue reading “Reason # 876 why marketers should read my blog *before* pitching me”

Um…what?

According to google analytics, 199 people have found this blog by googling “It is, however, truly comforting to know that you really respect the dead whores“. Which is weird. And yes, I understand that I’m the first result when you google that because of the time that I wrote about how 25 people found myContinue reading “Um…what?”

This is why Victor and I both shouldn’t work from home. And also why I shouldn’t be allowed to use large appliances.

So this morning I was cleaning up and I turned on the dishwasher but then a few minutes later I noticed that the laundry detergent was on the counter and I haven’t done laundry in days then I was all “Fuck. Did I just put laundry detergent in the dishwasher?” and then I kind ofContinue reading “This is why Victor and I both shouldn’t work from home. And also why I shouldn’t be allowed to use large appliances.”

Your zombie armor has some serious design flaws.

My friend Shauna sent me a link to this: It’s basically a nightstand that doubles as a shield and bat for fighting zombies. And it will totally fucking get you killed. I mean, I applaud the concept but as soon as you pull out the bat you’re left with a giant exposed nail sticking outContinue reading “Your zombie armor has some serious design flaws.”