And that’s why I don’t trust science.

People always say that every snowflakes is unique, but I’m not sure if I believe it because really who’s checking? Probably somebody just looked at a few dozen snowflakes and said, “Fuck, these things all look slightly different” and then just shrugged and wrote down that “no two snowflakes are alike” because he was cold and ready to go inside and watch Doctor Who.  And even if someone called him on it and was all, “Ten points off because you didn’t show your work” then he’d be like, “IT MELTED, ASSHOLE” and no one could question him because that’s how snow works.  No one ever cares about disproving the science of snowflake individuality even though it seems like mathematically there should be snowflake twins and dopplegangers at least. It’s not like there’s a snowflake fingerprint database.   No one keeps records on snowflakes.

And that’s why I don’t trust science.

*******

And now, the weekly wrap-up…

sid

 

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

  • “YOU CAN DO IT, FRANK!”  This is a nice shirt because if you happen to be walking past someone named Frank he’ll feel buoyed by your encouragement, and if you’re walking past people who aren’t Frank they’ll just think you’re a nice person and probably be encouraged to lend you money.

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:  

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Calm-A-Mama. “Motherhood is hard. Life is hard. Let us help. Supplement your body and soul with nourishing and restorative blends of traditional herbal and flower extracts. Gentle enough for the whole family. We support you so you can be awesome.” ~ Calm-A-Mama.  Here’s a quick video about their products.  We use a few of their products ourselves, including calm drops at night.    

71 thoughts on “And that’s why I don’t trust science.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Has anyone ever looked at the snowflakes in the snow globes to see if they are all alike? Doubt it because only geeky people sit around looking at snowflakes and I am glad they are there because I don’t want to do it.

  2. The snowflake thing is a scam. Just like no-iron shirts. Also, now I want people to get t-shirts that say, “You can do it, Wendy!”

  3. The snowflake thing is a scam. Just like no-iron shirts. Also, I want people to get t-shirts that say, “You can do it, Wendy!” I could use some buoyancy.

  4. That is totally how I approach science. The shortcut part, not the intense distrust.

    Does it even snow in Texas? Why you gotta worry about this stuff?

  5. Honestly, snow in and of itself is a scam. Frozen water that falls, blocks your driveway, and then sits around for months, breaking tree branches that then take down power lines which means you have to cook your Thanksgiving turkey on the grill and eat it in the dark? THANKS A LOT, SNOW. (No, I’m not bitter at all about this past winter).

  6. As a scientist I will admit that there is a possibility that two snowflakes may indeed look alike, but nevertheless, as explained here (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/10/no-two-snowflakes-alike-video_n_4569491.html) the probability of them being identical is infinitesimally small. And since scientists deal in probabilities and not absolutes (probably to save on all of that record keeping), we can say that no two snowflakes are alike. But believe it or not, some scientists are still trying to find out…http://www.nbcnews.com/id/16759121/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/two-snowflakes-may-actually-be-alike/#.Vb59V9LbJD8

    So, don’t give up on us yet.

  7. Why are we Americans so hung up on individuality? Maybe those snowflakes LIKE matching. Maybe they want to all go as twins once in a while, but are afraid of what the scientists would say. #snowflakesarepeopletoo

  8. “Ignore Everybody” has gotten me through SO many rough moments. Also, I tried to draw a “special snowflake” comic this week but it totally didn’t work, and I just realized it’s because ALL THE SNOWFLAKES WERE THE SAME. hums theme to twilight zone

  9. In Canada, a lot of our snowflakes are the same. Because we have so many of them. Stupid snow. It’s the beginning of August and the stores here are already selling parkas.

  10. I wonder if they mean in just one day’s snowfall all over the world, or every snowflake that ever fell anywhere ever. But since there’s no way to prove it either way, we can all just believe whichever we want. Which sounds more like religion than science. Can you work it into Bloggessianism?

  11. Doesn’t the comma after “it” mean frank is telling others they can do it? Or have I been signing things wrong my whole life, which is possible.

  12. I’m pretty sure that there are snowflake scientists. Often we just call them flakes, though. It’s much simpler.

  13. As I live in a place where a lot of fucking snowflakes fall, I can tell you that I have looked at quite a few of the little buggers and I haven’t found 2 the same. But then I haven’t checked them all.

  14. Me ex boyfriend Frank was a jerk. So I won’t be buying that shirt. lol I don’t encourage jerks they feel entitled enough.

  15. You know, I’m tempted to get that t-shirt for my son Frank because it would confuse the hell out of everybody. Or maybe I should get one for all of his friends and they can all show up at once and confuse the hell out of him. I think if I got one for his girlfriend that would be a bit drippy…do you have cat-sized ones? Because if I got one for his cat that might br the best…

  16. Your review made me all sniffly, YES THAT IS A WORD AUTOCORRECT, and made me want to be your best friend or common law wife. Or maybe we could just all have a slumber party and watch old 80’s movies and braid each other hair??

  17. I would buy that shirt, honestly. But I can’t. Because the man dated last was named Frank and he was really an asshole. Truly. So if you make one that says, “You can do it, Dudley!”, I’ll buy it:). Deal?

  18. Well, I look at it like this. Science uses empirical tests, probabilities, peer-review, and does the best it can with the knowledge it has it front of it. I think it works better than getting advice from someone who gets a recommendation from someone else who did an hour’s worth of Internet research.

  19. So, when do we get t-shirts that say “You’re wrong, Victor”? We could wear them to conventions and stuff, then we could recognize each other. It’d be totally awkward to be hiding in the bathroom or under a desk and see someone else hiding and be all “oh, you’re a Lawsbian too!” and then find out that no, they’re selling drugs or something. Victor t-shirts would save us all that.

  20. Oh, I’m all in with Eddie. (see post #31) I will totally wear a shirt that says “You’re wrong, Victor.”
    Or even better, an”Of course you’re right, Jenny.”

  21. i think i may have to actually join instagram…too many wonderful people i read who post there!

  22. How you upvote a comment?
    Because Eddie’s post need at least 75 upvotes.

  23. What a beautiful review. Seriously. That chick sounds kick ass. Plus I think it’s great someone can go from equating you with sugar free explosive ass Gummy Bears to Marriage. That is what friendship is all about. You have a good friend Jenny.

  24. There are seriously scientists working on cataloging snowflakes all around the world. They have, in fact, found doubles.

    (You have now restored my faith in science. Bless you. ~ Jenny)

  25. along the same lines, I always wonder about that ‘everyone’s dna is unique’ thing. I mean, we have only had the science to record dna for a few decades. What if my exact dna was also Mary, the middle ages serving wench of a minor fief in France?

  26. My Instagram could be used as proof that I not only don’t leave the house but spend almost all my time in the loungeroom. And if anyone asked I would probably blame my baby, but in real life it’s because it’s Winter and cold and it doesn’t rain in the loungeroom.

    I refuse to believe that snow exists.

  27. I did see something recently where they said the whole “no two snowflakes are alike” thing was not correct. So they can make course corrections as more data comes in.

  28. I’m not a scientist, but I play one in front of a bunch of kids every day from Sept. to June. I gotta keep the scientist faith, or I’m out of a job! 😉

    Thanks for sharing the Instagram pictures. Love the intervention one, so glad the cats are in on it. Gives their fuzzy butts a reason to follow you around now. Also, Hailey looks so grown up in that pic — wow!

  29. Science can say any damn thing it wants about snowflakes, I care not. It’s fingerprints that get up my nose. Like I am going through the airport, and Immigration is like, scan your right hand fingerprints here, and I am like, fine, and then they ask for my left hand fingerprints, and I put my hook on the scanner, and the Immigration man grabs his gun and starts shooting because science has totally let me down.

  30. There have been occasions where a picture of two identical snowflakes have been captured. If there’s two there must be more. I trust science as we know it – It’s some scientists and their paymasters you have to watch sometimes in my opinion.

  31. I would hate to be a scientist studying snowflakes because I figure they have to keep the laboratory really cold and drink hot coffee or tea or other warm beverages all the time. That part wouldn’t be so bad, but imagine finding two identical snowflakes and then accidentally spilling your coffee all over them.

  32. Comment on the book review – that would definitely be my favorite review as well, prepared to not like it then can’t help it has to admit she loves it? Bunmi has a new fan, mostly because she ‘gets’ you but have to admit, her “my heart is shielded in sheet metal and the dried skins of my fallen enemies’ really hit home, too.

  33. You may be right. All I can say is that in the indexed and categorized collection of 2,575,973 snowflakes I keep in my freezer, no two are identical, although there are a couple that only an expert eye could tell apart.

  34. Even though this might sound a bit wacky you really do have a valid,logical point. They must’ve studied a huge cross section of snowflakes, they just don’t wanna share.

  35. Baby, bathwater, etc. Trust science when it’s responsibly done. Just don’t trust junk science. Or don’t be like the Republicans who say “I’m not a scientist” as their way of shrugging off the responsibility for global warming. That said, your piece is making me wonder what the science on snowflakes really is….

  36. I always felt that the saying was”No two snowflakes (currently in existence) are exactly alike” which seems way more probable than no two snowflakes having ever been the same in all the existence of snowflakes. Just saying. Sublte interpretation and such.

  37. Exactly what I think. They can’t test it, either way, BECAUSE THEY ALL MELT.

    Possibly all of science is based on this, and somebody being like:
    “Just fill in the damn blank, Paul. Big Bang Theory is starting in 4 minutes!”

  38. wow, who would have suspected of you as being this profound. Excellent observation!

  39. i think if a single representative of so-called islamic state ate candy, that might be like, their gang name. CANDY or like CANDY WRAPPER. SUGAR TEETH GONE TO SHIT. THE ONE IN TOUCH WITH THEIR INNER-CHILD. but like, more than one eating candy? they totally eat the candy when they’re all alone, which is the only time they reveal their sad-faced shamefulness…looking downward at the earth who doesn’t care about shame. OMFG that all sounded like a dream but it wasn’t
    of course i don’t like know anything about ISIS. i’m too scared and uninterested to even check out their site….and i only check out .gov sites anyway. i trust only those. that’s right. not even myself if i was a website, just .gov sites. (no i really don’t trust myself even in website form though)

    snowflakes…community-dedicated. no need for individualisms. no need for individualisms unless you grew up in a society in which fucking aynus rand was popular.

    brought up lots of politics

  40. I’m going to be 32 later this year and have lived in the Buffalo area my whole life. Buffalo, where it snows 6-10 months of the year, where we got SIX FEET of snow in 2 days. I have stood in a lot of snow during my life. I have shoveled a lot of snow off of driveways (pretty much since I could stand–here kid, have a shovel, we’re going to be here for about 2 hours), brushed it off my car, went sledding/skiing/hiking/playing in it… You get the idea. I have seen more snow than most people can imagine… And I can tell you that there is no way to verify the statement. You can’t see details in the snow as it falls or lays on the ground and it melts before you can examine it in your hand or with any equipment. Science wouldn’t make that claim without observation, at least. The whole thing sounds like a saying made up by penguins, trying to reassure their children (who all look identical) that they are unique.

  41. Instead of saying, “No two snowflakes are the same”, I think we should find other examples like, “There are no two shits that are ever alike”. I mean, it’s true but slightly less poetic sounding than snowflakes. But more earthy…

  42. My Gerald only trusts science when it’s something that supports his habits. Oh that case of Diet Coke you drink everyday? It’s GREAT for you! And all that beer will surely add years to your life! 🙂

  43. My mother always said I was a “special snowflake.” Now I’ll just have to be all like, “No, I’m NOT, Mom! Jenny Lawson said there’s no such thing!!!” And then I’ll have to leave Thanksgiving early, and it’ll all just be awkward. THANKS, JENNY!

  44. I just received my advance copy of “Furiously Happy” in the mail (I was one of the Goodreads winners) and I am SO. EXCITED. I can barely stand it.

    I may have shrieked a little when I opened the package.

    After my small children finally go to bed tonight, I will probably read the whole thing in one sitting, even if it takes me until 5am.

    So basically I’m commenting here to let you know that if I’m tired and grouchy tomorrow it will be your fault for being so damn awesome.

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