Huh. Well, that was…unexpected.

I just got a surprising friend-request on facebook.  From my stuffed monkey.

The internet’s a weird place, y’all.

UPDATED:  Please stop emailing me to ask me to approve your friend request to Copernicus.  I swear to God that’s not me or Victor and I honestly have no clue who it is.  Judging from the disturbing -yet vaguely cheery- updates, it might actually be the real Copernicus.  Stranger things have happened.

220 replies. read them below or add one

  1. For the record, Copernicus is bad at math. That’s *50* percent more stabbing time!

    Jason Black recently posted Forty-five more flaws that expose your lack of storytelling experience, part 5.

  2. Wow! Now that’s dedication! You’re such a celebrity :) *swoon*

    Alexandra the Tsaritsa recently posted One thick crew full of bad bitches, new hip-hop.

  3. I can’t believe your Monkey is running amock on the internet and you didn’t even know! Makes you wonder what else he’s doing when you aren’t around.

    Sherry Carr-Smith recently posted Birthday Party Fun ~ Office Edition!.

  4. I want to be his friend! I want a hug!

  5. Maybe he really is a zombie monkey who is starting to plot against you in his sleep. Or maybe it was your husband who wants to convince you that the monkey is, in fact, evil so that you will get rid of him.

    Either way.. watch your back ;)

    Leila (Don't Speak Whinese) recently posted Don’t Speak Whinese: A Way of Life, a Funny Saying, Guest Blogging and Now a Community.

  6. Well, you knew he was going to get up to trouble, so this really ought not to have surprised you much.

  7. Wait…you have 324 friend requests that you haven’t responded to??

  8. I went to search for the FB page to check him out and I can’t find him. Copernicus has somehow BLOCKED me! How could he?

  9. Well hell. That’s just creepy.

    Nikki recently posted They dropped it like it was hot..

  10. I just went to look at the past post about it and saw the card. Holy crap I haven’t laughed that hard. All that’s missing is you…and part of my face. LOVE IT.

  11. You get way better friend requests than I do.

    Vinny C recently posted Br'er Rabbit - A Meeting In The Forest..

  12. Oh, look, there’s my son’s face on Copernicus’ page! Isn’t he cute? My son, that is…well the monkey too.

  13. That is completely awesome and I am SO jealous.

    annie recently posted Lost In the Catacombs.

  14. As if Copernicus wasn’t scary enough on his own, now he’s actually come to cyber life????

    The bigger question here is… why did he wait until he already had 111 friends to send you a request?

    L-Diggitty recently posted The Serbian and the Mega Church.

  15. Holy shit! I want to be his facebook friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Allyn recently posted Lolling In Progress.

  16. 324 friend requests? Dude, that shit will take *all* day.

  17. So what you’re saying is that your monkey is going apeshit crazy on the internet and you have done nothing to stop him???? What’s next? Some freaking giant metal chicken having it’s own Facebook page? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?

    Dani recently posted facebooking from the edge...: Hair Apparent.

  18. Copernicus has gone rogue.

    Julie
    ilikebeerandbabies.com

    Julie recently posted Bloated? 10 Tips for a Flat Belly.

  19. That explains the message on my machine asking if I “knew AAAhhaaahahh your OOOOooh Address EEEEEEee.” Seemed suspicious. Really wish I hadn’t given it to him now.
    Whelp, live and learn!

    Amy recently posted The Curse of Hurricane Irene.

  20. The fact that Copernicus is on Facebook doesn’t surprise me at all… it’s the 324 unanswered friend requests…

    Oh, wait, not that either.

    Carmen recently posted Wordless Wednesday - An Eye for an Eye.

  21. TOTALLY going to friend him now. SO EXCITED!

    Stephanie recently posted Justice Department Pimp Smacks ATT and Seeks to Block Merger.

  22. I’d accept. He seems stabby.

    Ali recently posted Kittens Are Assholes.

  23. Do I qualify as a stuffed monkey: 35 years married and I get stuffed on EVERY ARGUMENT, just not fair!!

  24. I trust you accepted.

    John B recently posted the terminal: where class goes to die.

  25. Oh Emmm Geee. Best Facebook Page EVAH! Thanks for the giggles. :)

  26. A stuffed, murderous monkey gets more friend requests than me.

    Nice.

    Lynne recently posted Where's My Monkey?.

  27. Creepy and funny – all rolled into one!

    Larry Lourcey recently posted Why Ignoring LinkedIn Is A Bad Idea.

  28. If my sister in law’s pet cat can have a Facebook in order to expound on the virtues of pissing in the corner, I guess so can your table monkey.

    Julie @ mamamash recently posted #iPPP: Pleading my case for an iPhone.

  29. The friend request is coming from inside the house! Get out while you still can!

    HNtG recently posted He’s Donkey Kong Obsessed. Does That Make Me Pauline?.

  30. holy crap you have 324 friend requests. i shall henceforth stop pouting that you did not respond immediately to my friend request. being famous and fantastic must get tiring.

  31. 33
    Nancy Fancy Pants

    Should I be concerned that Copernicus has more friends than I do??

  32. That is the best/worst thing I’ve seen all day. Also, disappointed/relieved that I have not been similarly requested. Going to go laugh/cry now.

    Suzanne recently posted So this is a thing in the world... UPDATE.

  33. Hey, I’m one of those friend requests!

    Also, if someone took my idea and put their own words in his mouth, I would not be happy.

  34. He heard about the hands. He’s after the hands.

    Watch your back, Bloggess.

    Rev. Back It On Up 13 recently posted The Shittiest Job In The World (Literally).

  35. A monkey that not only murders people, but can type AND crack wise? might be a good friend to have if you stay on his good side!

    …or not.

    ListenToLeon recently posted Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

  36. I can’t believe your homicidal monkey has more friends than me.

    C @ Kid Things recently posted 2nd Graders Don’t Hug.

  37. Hmmm. Are you worried Copernicus is trying to take over your gig?

    Vesta Vayne recently posted Porn and Empowerment.

  38. This totally explains why Beyonce keeps poking me. I’m all, “Dude, seriously, poking? Really? Totally passe.” But I give her a pass. Because she is an inanimate metal chicken.

    Beesus recently posted Brief Conversations With Magical Dik-Diks.

  39. But was it REALLY unexpected? I mean, of course a monkey like that is going to have his own FB page. I’m just surprised it didn’t happen sooner!

    Mrs. MidAtlantic recently posted Summer of Classics: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

  40. well, who taught him how to use facebook, jenny???

    and why the fuck doesn’t jean-louis have his own facebook? HUH???

    steph gas recently posted list of needs/wants.

  41. Yeah, it was obvious from the beginning of your relationship that that monkey would be up to no good. Just never realized he would be so adept at social media. Is he tweeting, too? Hey! Maybe HE can get Nathan Fillion’s pic with twine. I mean, he is a blood thirsty murderous monkey. I think that would be all the persuasion that NF would need, n’est pas?

    Misty recently posted The Eye of the Storm.

  42. Copernicus tells me that he doesn’t like being referred to as an Object d’ Art on his Facebook Page. It’s obvious he isn’t an Object d’ Art, or else he wouldn’t have his own Facebook Page. He says this insult puts him in a murderous mood. I’d be careful of him if I was you!

  43. I like how Facebook says be sure that you know Copernicus Thehomicidalmonkey BEFORE you friend him. As though anyone can *actually* know the workings of a HOMICIDAL monkey.

    Rachel B recently posted Women’s Rights: 1, Rick Perry: 0.

  44. See, this is exactly the sort of thing that people on Google+ are missing out on because of their “must be an actual person and use your real name” policy. The Social Security Administration barely adheres to that line, yet Google feels strongly on the subject.

    Wilhelm Arcturus recently posted August in Review.

  45. Just looking at those uncleared notifications makes me anxious. Ack!

    Karen recently posted Gray hair is an asshole.

  46. 48
    DragonTears

    Search for Thehomicidalmonkey… there are surprisingly few ppl with that last name.

  47. I do have a ton of outstanding friend requests, but that’s only because I keep hitting my limit and then Facebook freezes my friend-approving ability. Then I have to wait for people to drop me before I can go in and accept more. But if it makes you feel any better, I don’t use facebook for anything other than checking on Beyonce’s page and posting links to here. Seriously, you are not missing anything, as all of the people who have dropped me can attest to.

    Also, I did friend Copernicus because I was afraid not to. And I have absolutely no idea who’s behind it, so friend at your own risk.

  48. Now, do you catagorize that as flatery? Or stepping on toes? :0
    Beyonce’ does have her own FB page. Don’t know that it was created by Jenny either. Flatery it is. :0)

    Personally, I think the monkey hands got mad you dispelled their mysteriousness and plan to take it out on the stuffed hugger. Either way, be carefull. They throw poo when they’re mad. Not.. that.. the hands have a butt.

    Lock your bathroom door. Just to be safe.

    KidLit aka Tracey recently posted Blogger M.I.A..

  49. Where the fuck is my friend request, Copernicus?

    Becky recently posted What I Learned on My Summer Vacation.

  50. Oh. See, that’s the kind of friend I actually want to have on FB. So sweet that you brought Copernicus into your life and let him have a FB account.

    Craftwhack recently posted Bad Words.

  51. Well I usually don’t friend people I don’t know but I HAD to send Copernicus a friend request!

    Rose recently posted Rose & Margaret's Belly Dance Experiment.

  52. I sent it a friend request, just in case it has demonic powers. I want to be on its good side.

    the muskrat recently posted how she’s fared since coming out of the closet.

  53. I suppose this means you officially have more friends than Mark Zuckerberg, given you’ve hit the ceiling.

    Wanderlust recently posted Get busy living, or get busy dying.

  54. It looks like his space bar broke as he was creating the page?

    Kristen recently posted Subarus and redundant homosexuality..

  55. 57
    Lucretia Pruitt

    See now… this is clearly all a misunderstanding. Someone *meant* to wish for a ‘sock monkey’ for her 3rd wish but it came out sounding like “stalk monkey” – ergo, you are now being stalked by your own monkey. If I remember the story right, you have 2 wishes left for the monkey’s paw to work it’s mayhem. Right?

  56. –>Copernicus needs to go back to writing on bananas.

    WebSavvyMom recently posted Wordless Wednesday - Jumping for Joy.

  57. He’s come so far. I’m so proud of our little leprosied friend.

    Daddy Scratches recently posted All I wanted was a f#@%ing sandwich.

  58. “Copernicus and Jennifer Lawson are now friends.”
    Classic!

    Pat recently posted More firsts.....

  59. I can’t see past all of the red boxes of numbers at the top. I am compelled make those go away every time I’m on Facebook.

    Average Jane recently posted Average Jane's Extra Day in D.C..

  60. OK, so today was rough after a bout with the neverending stomach virus, but not only was I pleasantly surprised that my work’s modesty filter let me view this page, I was pleasantly surprised to find Copernicus with his own FB page. You should totally get him on that Fillion/Twine thing– if anyone can get results, it’s a homicidal monkey!

    Meg recently posted Serious as the zombie apocalypse.

  61. Proof that monkeys (or apes) will one day take over the world.

    Melissa recently posted Kinda Corny.

  62. I’m guessing you have rights to that photo… you could always just report them and have it taken down… then make a true Copernicus page. Just sayin.

  63. To whoever did this, BRAVO! Brilliant! I still find the monkey disturbing nightmare material, but this made me laugh out loud.

  64. Your husband’s delayed response to Beyonce, maybe? lol

    Jess K recently posted Bridal shower weekend. Oh, and a couple runs too..

  65. I’m with Leila, it’s Victor. I’d check his pockets. Or his computer.

    Mary recently posted Row 14 Bistro and Wine Bar.

  66. That only goes to prove that what goes around comes around. Unless your monkey gets around (which it appears he does).

    CaJoh recently posted Spin Cycle: The next day of my summer vacation.

  67. Is friending him kind of like that old adage…keep your friends close, and your homocidal monkeys even closer?

    And can he be hired out, you know for a *job*?

    A Vapid Blonde recently posted FrankenBoob ©.

  68. Oh – that’s just freakin’ *awesome*! I haven’t been friended by any of my animals – stuffed or otherwise.

    Cathy recently posted Cancer scare over; up next – randomness.

  69. lol, that is funny! He’s already gained quite a few friends before requesting your friendship, I’d take it personal. ;)

    Dawn Marie recently posted Here I am, getting all bent out of shape.....

  70. So does accepting the request make you next on his list of souls to steal?

    This may be a moot point if, like me, you’ve already sold your soul. Copernicus may just have to talk to someone….else about whether or not my soul is available.

    Great, one more thing to worry about.

    Shit.

    *makes note to ignore all friend requests from monkeys, just in case*

    awesomesauciness recently posted Nazi – What? You Were Expecting a Post?.

  71. i’m beginning to see a monkey theme in your life…

    also, have you heard this song. it reminds me of you. sorta.

    Simone recently posted Are you worth it?.

  72. hey Copernicus, that would be: Eu vou comer a sua alma

  73. Our friend Harry Howard has friend requested Copernicus. I think you would enjoy his page as well. He also goes by hairy harry and attends lots of events……lol. Currently sporting a moustache.

  74. I asked Victor. He didn’t do it. Weird.

    Jenny the bloggess recently posted Huh. Well, that was…unexpected..

  75. Wait…what? Homicidal monkey with acne has more friends than I do?? I’m totally changing my profile picture to one where I’m holding a bloody cleaver and my hair’s been ‘styled’ with a blender.

    Jonah Gibson recently posted Blowing Up Your School for Extra Credit.

  76. AWESOME!

    Is there an issue with theft for creative rights or can I add him?

  77. A dead rotten stuffed monkey has more friends than I do. Thanks facebook for another kick in the nuts. I have to go and slash my wrists now. :)

  78. I have to say…I’m confused. He looks like a pet in the Zombie Army of the Zombie Apocalypse… and yet you <3 him.

    I <3 him too…only because I love house stuff that looks like it will come to life and kill you.

    PJ recently posted Now Shut Up and Fix It!!!.

  79. 82
    CrazyInCentralCA

    I had to friend request Copernicus. On a side note I had to explain a reference to “knock, knock mutherfucker” that I made in an email to a couple of friends, which got me reading thru the last couple month’s worth of postings and I have come to the conclusion that you are seriously one of the funniest human beings alive!

  80. Huh, never knew facebook put a limit on friends. Bloggess Jenny has 5001 friends, apparently, you’re not allowed to make anymore friends..lol.

  81. I just friended a homicidal monkey. OF COURSE I DID!

    Teresa recently posted Reasons Not to Become a Writer.

  82. Ummmm, I’m concerned about the fact that no one is taking responsibility for *being* Copernicus on FB….. Did you ask Laura??!! I’m a little creeped out & I’m not sure why. It’s not like he has access to MY child…. ;-)

    Kim

    Kim recently posted Do cats even *have* orgasms? Anyway. I’m really relaxed..

  83. I recently found your blog and thing you are the funniest fucking chick ever. Like…seriously. The very first post I saw was “Knock Knock MotherFucker” about your fantastic Beyonce and from then on you had me like jugged wine. Which is to say they should seriously make straws long enough so I can just drink my wine straight out of the jug rather than wasting a glass and that way I can sit here longer and catch up on all of your posts.
    You rock. Oh and I don’t think Copernicus lost some of his face accidentally. I’m fairly sure he got into a fight with a Ninja. and won. Or James Garfield which would explain his loss of hair as well.

  84. There would only be an issue with creative rights if this person is anyone other than the real Copernicus. So far he’s violent but funny, so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. Friend him at your own risk.

    Jenny the bloggess recently posted Huh. Well, that was…unexpected..

  85. When I first read this I laughed hysterically. Someone made a Fb page for that horrible creature! What could be funnier!

    Then I actually read Copernicus’ stati and now I just want to vomit. The internet’s not just a weird place, it’s also a place where creepers can hide their…predilictions behind a stuffed monkey. Seriously have you read that stuff? What sick person thinks that is humor? When Copernicus was just a creepy strangling monkey- that was humor. Now that I know he stabs people to death in his house and has a hard time cleaning their organs out of the garbage disposal…I….erm…

    Maybe I shouldn’t say anymore…he might find me.

  86. Made. My. Day.

    Laura recently posted The City Person’s Guide to Nascar.

  87. You should really find out who it is. They might need some extra monkey hands.

    juliejulie recently posted My (Ridiculous) Life with Dogs: Living with a Papillion and a Weimaranar.

  88. Facebook let’s anyone on there these days….monkeys, cats, I bet giant metal chickens will be next!

    I mean who the hell want’s to join a page dedicated completely and totally to Oliver Garden Breadsticks? That’s just bullshit! Come ON people! Bread is a carb, you can’t eat carbs these days….

    Tina, The Escrow Goddess recently posted The first phases of parents preparing for their child's further education..

  89. You have hit a whole different level of fame when people start posing (posting?) on facebook as your decrepit taxidermy monkey. I’m totally in awe. I couldn’t even get the local creepy women’s underwear stealer that was running rampant through these parts to attempt to snatch my lady garments. I even hang them on the clothes line….. Maybe I should remove my NRA sticker from my truck, which is parked in front of my house… Hmm?

    Johi recently posted No, I don't want to discuss Thomas the Tank Engine..

  90. So. Creepy. But amusing nonetheless.

  91. I strongly suspect this post was more to show off how many friend requests you have pending. ;p

    Now to go find Copernicus’ page and friend him…

    Samantha M. recently posted 30 before 30: Cleaning up = Growing Up.

  92. Whoever did this should be awarded with a medal. Or a small Copernicus statue.

    Tazer Warrior Princess recently posted Neighborly love.

  93. Fine. I’m still making friends with the chicken, though.

    Stephanie recently posted 10 Reasons Society is Doomed.

  94. Homicidal Monkey’s never looked so good.

    Anna Nonamus recently posted Ways To Fuck With Your Teen - Part 2. I think..

  95. It’s possible fo sho.

    Micah recently posted a bad cookie habit.

  96. That is waaaaaaay to freakin awesome!

    I went and found his page even before I was through all the comments! I wish I had a monkey as cool as yours!

    Michelle recently posted As if planking weren’t bad enough….

  97. How in heck do you have time to do all this stuff in a day. I do -maybe- a third and am exhausted. Guess I need more caffeine. O_O hehe

    The Pear Lady recently posted All about young love.

  98. Yes! YES! My voodoo ritual worked!

    Granted, my left flipper has now shrunk considerably, but everything has a price, I guess… wait, that’s just an optical illusion due to my right flipper having more muscle tone thanks to internet porn? Meh, you take the good from the bad.

    Teh Evil Penguin recently posted TEP's Guide to College Bars - Part I: What To Order.

  99. I have commented on your ability to own creepy not so long ago, but this is just… well… really creepy.

    Ick.

    Gah.

    And the like.

    RUN, RUN, MOTHERFUCKER.

    _________________

    StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously? recently posted Dear Puppy: Goddammit!!.

  100. yes! My life is complete!

  101. Copernicus reminds me of a creepy short story I had to read in high school titled “The Monkey’s Paw”. With that box of monkey hands your friend gave you, I sure hope you haven’t been making any wishes and interfering with fate!

    Dana Strange recently posted Four deaths and one of them might not be my fault....

  102. I was going to say something witty about how I thought stuffed monkey was a euphemism for something, but then I got distracted by the 3 messages, 96 notifications, and 324 friend requests at the top of the page in your picture. Those little red flags are the bane of my existence. If I had to face those ridiculous numbers on Facebook every day, I’d be forced to take drastic measures…possibly involving the enlistment of a homicidal monkey.

    Penguin recently posted I Will Steal Three Minutes of Your Life While You Read This Inane Post.

  103. So sad Copernicus has too many friend requests…..I really wanted to add him.

  104. Apparently he already has too many friend requests. Popular homicidal monkey thing.

    Andrea recently posted Top 10 Reasons I Love Working in a Psych ER.

  105. I’m totally Facebook friends with your stuffed monkey! And I thought it was you. Now I’m afraid I’m going to die by homicidal monkey.

    GirltoMom- Heidi recently posted Scruffy Throws Down For Beyonce.

  106. That’s disturbing. Really disturbing. As for your Facebook friend limits, perhaps you should create a public page like you did for Beyonce? Just a thought.

    (There is one. It’s under “thebloggess”, I think? I didn’t realize there was a limit on personal pages when I started, and then when I hit the limit I didn’t want to just delete my personal page so now I have both. ~ Jenny)

    Courtney recently posted That's it..

  107. Well if I can be friends with a friends cat, why can’t I be a stuffed monkeys friend.

  108. That is so strange lol.
    I cannot keep up with friend requests either. You can’t approve everyone, right?

    Ashley recently posted Tumblr Is Not A Blog.

  109. That demonic monkey (or whoever is speaking for him) is funny, but not very good at math. A three day weekend has 50% more stabbing time than a regular two day weekend, not 33%.

    I wouldn’t recommend letting him do your taxes.

  110. Heh. Miss Doxie recently bought an antique tombstone to put in her dining room (as you do) and was soon after friended by the ghost. Julia Ann and Copernicus would make a cute couple.

    Cobwebs recently posted Seen Online.

  111. 114
    Colin McGee

    Please will you set up a proper page for Copernicus? He has too many friends according to Facebook, so I couldn’t even send a friend request!

  112. Too many friend requests. That’s not right.

    Now how else am I supposed to update y’all on my 33% more stabbing 3-day weekend?

  113. I love the fact that Copernicus went behind your back to set up his own facebook page.

    Corinne recently posted #1 on my list of "Shit I would NEVER buy".

  114. Well, at least if it’s not you posting as Copernicus, Beyonce won’t be feeling like the overlooked stepchild of the family.

    Kate recently posted Blood, dirt, beer, and fun...the Tall Oak Challenge mountain bike race.

  115. CopernicusTHM has too many friend requests. I’m so sad. :(

  116. Oh God, don’t ever Google Image yourself. I made the mistake of doing this the other day, and apparently I’m less 30-year-old WASP and more Ecuadorian “Negro Mama.” Holy shit, identity crisis. Decidedly NOT a good kind of weird.

    GourmetOnADiet recently posted What am I doing?.

  117. Very cool. My Troll has been wanting a FB Page of his own…I told him no…now he has an arguing point, lol.

  118. So you’re ridiculously famous! Pretty soon the stuffed alligator will have his on facebook page!

    TheSuze recently posted The Last Crusade...is a good night's sleep.

  119. I’m sorry but what stranger things have happened? What exactly has happened that’s stranger than a stuffed monkey named Copernicus setting up his own facebook page and happily sending out friend requests?

    (You’re new here, aren’t you? ~ Jenny)

    jacqui recently posted UPS Guy Delivers The Love….

  120. You can absolutely never trust the monkeys. But you can’t really blame him either, since he is denied the love of Victor. He’s just trying to fill the void. Poor nasty, creepy monkey.

    Lisa recently posted The end of August....

  121. The only reason it WOULDN’T be Copernicus is because it would be hard to type with his murderous, raging hands. Theoretically he could be typing with his tail. Yes, it is definitely him.

  122. Shit. The Zombie Apocalypse is officially here. It was only a matter of time, really.

    Knighton recently posted Wine Cube Sauvignon Blanc (California 2010).

  123. I think it’s Beyonce pretending to be Copernicus.

    Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted I'm a guest poster!.

  124. I’m surprised at how good that homicidal monkey is at percentages. I think buying Copernicus is the best $7 you ever spent.

    Allie recently posted Have You Lost Weight, Roberto Arango?.

  125. If he fails you (or your monkey) in any way, free stabbing offered by me. Just sayin.

    Brandy recently posted The Chain Gang.

  126. Awesome! I hope you accepted!

  127. What I think is really happening here is that you started the page and this is a brilliant form of performance art. Now that I’ve lied to myself I can sleep at night.

    OR Victor started it for your next Anniversary present! 15 is giant metal chicken and 16 is homicidal monkey facebook page!

    GirltoMom- Heidi recently posted Scruffy Throws Down For Beyonce.

  128. That is sofa king awesome.

    Carri recently posted His Life is Miserable.

  129. He is totally going to mate with Beyonce. They’re gonna do it like the forced frog blow job, only this time with a chicken. Cuz Copernicus is down with that. And how the fuck does your satanic stuffed monkey that nobody wanted and discarded in the thrift store have more FB friends than I do?

    Lorca Damon recently posted It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s a Pair of Underwear.

  130. Is it strange/wrong/sick that I WANT to be “hugged” by Copernicus? I think I need help.

    Celluloid Darling recently posted Futurism, objectivity, and the scorn for women..

  131. I think Willam Shatner is behind Copernicus Thehomocidalmonkey’s facebook page. He’s setting up a twitter acct. for him next.

  132. So…. facebook is sort of like this century’s ouija board? The future is now!

    Angela@BeggingTheAnswer recently posted Places I Love (To Not Love).

  133. You are not even friends with him? No wonder he’s homicidal.

  134. Copernicus is no Beyonce.

  135. Did you check with Hailey? She’s your daughter after all. She could just be trying to help you out. Remember kids are way more saavy than most of us give them credit for these days. I’m sure she’s wise beyond her years.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted Let your freak flag fly.

  136. Look, you can deny this is you, but it has your pawprints all over it. Plus also, one metal chicken feather.

    Fess up.

    hogsatemysister recently posted 7 Times I Almost Changed the World.

  137. I would be perturbed and or impressed

  138. Okay, I’m sorry, but this has to be you, because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to get a screen capture that showed friend requests. Someone has probably already said this in all of these comments, but I didn’t have time to read them. That doesn’t mean I don’t love it. ;-)

  139. Gah… Premature entry (that’s what she said). Perturbed, if someone is pulling the monkey out from under you. Impressed if it’s the actual monkey

    Cathy recently posted F Scott Fitzgerald Made Ernest Hemingway Look at His Naughty Bits.

  140. WHY THE FUCK HASN’T JAMES GARFIELD RESPONDED TO MY FRIEND REQUEST? :)

  141. Well, that got me to thinking. I went and grabbed “the wifely person” as a FB page. I don’t want anyone else masquerading as me. I mean, my life is so stupendously spectacular, right? Everybody wants to be me! (where have I heard that before?) No, no they don’t. Unless they really want to. And then they can come here and pitch in with the chores.

    Any takers? Oh, well. Back to the dishes.

    SJ recently posted A Blessing And A Curse.

  142. Well darn, he’s too popular to jump on the creepy bandwagon, “too many friend requests”…

    busy monkey!

  143. Facebook says, “Sorry, this user already has too many friend requests.” Suddenly I’m feeling unloved… is Copernicus on Twitter?

    Joni recently posted It's a Jungle out here, Folks..

  144. I cannot even friend him because he has too many friend requests.

    Asshole.

    Stacie @ The Divine Miss Mommy recently posted Wordless Wednesday – Decisions, Decisions with LINKY #WordlessWednesday #ww.

  145. That is a little creepy. Cool, but odd. I love it!! Yes I would be afraid to NOT friend him. Who ever set that up should do an interview with you or something, that would be great. I didnt think there could be two people as twistedly great as you. . . I am loving it.

    Yellow recently posted 8 years..

  146. He has way more friends than I do on Facebook.

  147. Beyonce, Copernicus. and James Garfield all have Facebook pages, and more friends than me. And none of them want to be my friend. It’s pretty sad that I can’t even make imaginary friends.

    Barbara recently posted The Bloggess is Not a Douche-Canoe.

  148. Three day weekend? This is a British Copernicus. Perhaps a cousin? Unless you guys had a Monday off work as well this week…

    I shall immediately set to the streets with a butterfly net and a magnifying glass and see if I can catch him.

    Lisa recently posted I don't know what's worse: the fact that my LOCDs are increasing at a spectacular rate or how much I am completely okay with it..

  149. Strangest monkey I ever saw. That’s what you get whn you’re famous – even monkeys know how to find you!

    RCB recently posted There Once Was a Politician.

  150. I’m not convinced…..any blackouts recently? Are you mixing Ambien and wine? Have you spent time with any hypnotherapists recently? I blame zombies. They know more than they’re saying……

    goosh recently posted A River View.

  151. it’s a sad day, your monkey has more friend REQUESTS than I have friends.

    Taren recently posted I might as well buy Depends now!!.

  152. Stabbity stabbity stabbity stab stab stab!

    Tattoo My Heart recently posted He's Just Not That Into You...Yet?.

  153. Copernicus’s facebook status made my entire day.

    Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted I Think The Raptors Are Coming To Get Me.

  154. This is too funny!

    Leanna recently posted Stuff I Like.

  155. I think he was “animated” just to establish reasonable doubt at the future murder trial. Not sure who the victim will be, but if I was in your household, I’d be watching my back.

  156. I think it’s Lisa.

  157. Creepy Copernicus is creepy. Put some damn pants on that monkey!

  158. @Jonah Gibson, my (admittedly rudimentary) understanding of dermatology leads me to believe that you must actually have skin in order to have acne. I think you’re going to have to re-think you diagnosis =)

  159. You have 324 friend requests? Holy crap. Do you know any of them in real life?

  160. This is rather odd, if you had nothing to do with it. Almost like a party that you sense is going to start turning really weird in an hour. That’s when I usually leave.

    Jamie recently posted Early morning spin. And I’m not musing about the news..

  161. You know, I thought Beyonce was behind this as well, but I think she’s too busy being pregnant and all…

    Jenna recently posted Sitter Circles Review.

  162. And now Copernicus has about 2000 friends. That’s a gain of about 1900 since you posted this. WOW. That’s insane. Of course, I’ve got a pending request in there as well.

  163. That is too funny =D Go, Copernicus!

    Courtney recently posted Reason #4: Sweet Salamanders and Other Pets.

  164. Somebody needs to hand over the monkey (rights) before they get hurt.

  165. The basic info DOES say (disclosure: not an official Jenny Lawson joint). Apparently Spike Lee made this page.

    Dawne recently posted Actually, if you think about it, it's sort of correct....

  166. First of all, damn you got a lot of friend requests. Geez!!! This is someone I need to be friends with. If I hurt someone, I can always say the monkey made me do it.

    Peace, Love and Chocolates,
    Tiffany

    Tiffany recently posted Balancing Act.

  167. I feel I’m now one step closer to my dream of getting drunk with Copernicus.

    clevelandpoet recently posted August’s Top 5 Overheard Ohio.

  168. And now Copernicus has almost 2,000 friends? It would be very funny if it weren’t so creepy. I’d lock down your computer when you go to sleep….

  169. My guess is it’s the first person who commented on his page…someone named Lindsay Hawn Barker…either way a creepily obsessed fan…haha.

  170. You know, the more I look at this, the more I think you are just showing off there’s 300 of us you decided you didn’t want to be facebook friends with Jenny…. I think I’m on to youuuuuu

    Stephanie recently posted Should We Drug Test Welfare Recipients?.

  171. I got onto his friends list! He is even more creepy now.. My boyfriend saw my new addition and was like “….the eff?” I kinda like him. He should be like flat stanley and visit the world. I’d take him in fo sho!

    Nikki recently posted What in Gay Hell?.

  172. hmmm I thought it might be Artis de Partis, which is cute, but nay.

    http://www.artis.nl/en/discover-artis/artis-de-partis/

  173. i’ve never commented before, but i ADORE your blog. i laugh out loud every day (well, in general… but most especially thanks to your blogamazingness. but i had to share this, and i pray you see it b/c i just know you’ll find it hilarious http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/mixmaster/2011/09/5_great_ideas_for_your_design-.php

    marthaelaine recently posted It Turns Out.

  174. I thought Copernicus would be older. I mean, based on his published birthdate we could have gone to school together. You know, had I gone to school in a jungle filled with other monkeys. Thank God I’m aging better than this guy.

    Phoenix Rising recently posted There are WAY MORE than just 4 things that will make me go insane. Trust me..

  175. Boo…his profile was deleted. :(

  176. Nice. Your monkey has more FB friends than I do. If you need me, I’ll be over in the corner, weeping. (not really. I kind of hate FB anyway)

  177. Um, Copernicus just disappeared off Facebook. Either that or he’s blocked me. Which would be creepy. Er, creepier.

    Cathy recently posted Show a Llama Some Love.

  178. First of all, I bet she’s sick of hearing about our infatuation with her monkey, and secondly, yes, he’s gone. And so is my reason for living. I sure fell fast and hard for the psychotic little primate! At least we still have our Jenny – the goddess, I mean bloggess, who inspires such wonderfulness!

  179. Yes, it’s really me — feel free to email me at copernicusthm@gmail.com.

    Sadly, the stick-in-the-muds at FB disabled my account today. They have a very strict policy of only allowing “real” people with “real” accounts. This totally sucks, if for no other reason than I wish I could get all those status updates.

    If I started a twitter account, would anyone be interested? It would take some re-training to channel Copernicus in 140 characters, but it should be fun, and they’re not so dickish about things as FB apparently is.

    If anyone has any ideas on how I could export all those status updates, email me . If you’d like to to follow me on Twitter, I’m going to be @Copernicus_THM. Hope to see you there, and spread the word, since I can’t log in to FB anymore.

    Jenny was right, as always — Facebook are assholes.

  180. 184
    Monkey-Spanker

    WTH! Who killed Copernicus ?

  181. Monkeys are not to be trusted. Ever. Next thing you know, he’s going to steal your identity. He’s going to take a vacation in Fiji and charge it all to your Mastercard. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    Momma Teacher Lady recently posted Best McDonald's Drive-Thru Experience. Ever..

  182. I had a facebook friend post that her life was complete because Copernicus accepted her friend request. She’s not someone I speak to often, but that post alone was enough to give me a whole new respect for her.

    Copernicus *brings people together*

    thehaughtylibrarian recently posted Are the cops chasing you?.

  183. 187
    Rachel Grace

    I hope you read these comments, because Copernicus NEEDS this book. Seriously. Open it and look at it. And read the comments/reviews. It’s genius.

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/B0030EG0K2/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link

    You’re welcome.

  184. Gah! I just went looking for Perny (my cutesy nickname, perfect for a homicidal monkey) only to find he’s gone. Foiled by the FB police…. fuckers.

    Yes, yes, I will gladly follow your homicidal tweets, Copernicus!

    Gates recently posted We're gay, we have candles out the wazoo..

  185. I just got my Copernicus cards in the mail from zazzle, I LOVE them. However now my husband is all like who the eff did I marry and are you going to stab me in my sleep. What a baby.

    Cori recently posted Carolina Firenze Italian Leather Purse ON SALE.

  186. First, I’d like to apologize to Jenny for hijacking her post/comments, but I’m only posting this here to help Copernicus avoid many multiple e-mails and get stabbier. Why doesn’t he change his Facebook to a page rather than a person, like the one Beyonce has? I don’t think Facebook’s too concerned about that. Hell, if metal chickens get to have a page, homicidal monkeys should, too. I mean, it’s people! Copernicus is made out of PEOPLE!

    Cathy recently posted Show a Llama Some Love.

  187. I’m happy to see that Copernicus finally surfaced; but bummed that FB closed his account. I think he should file suit. They didn’t harass the Bronx zoo cobra like that. Her page is still up I think.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted I was a Vaglitterer.

  188. Damn
    I wish I thought of that
    Damn You Copernicus!!

    Rachel Roush recently posted Can’t think of one.

  189. *gasp* HOMYGOD! *Sends friend Request* Please Accept, Please Accept, Please Accept!

    Rebekah Mae recently posted No Title..

  190. The blood of innocents tastes like happy.
    ~ Copernicus

    Allison recently posted Across the Mississippi in 80 Days (or So it Seemed).

  191. I’ll follow you anywhere, Copie.

    GirltoMom- Heidi recently posted Silly Monkey.

  192. Why is it that every time I read one of your posts, (especially the original monkey one and Beyonce) I laugh so hard I have tears running down my face?

    And there I go again….. I’m desperately trying not to wake up my kid…

  193. OK, thanks to the very helpful suggestion of Barbara B., I created a FB “page” rather than an account.

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Copernicus-The-Homicidal-Monkey/262800540411002

    Help spread the word, and thanks to all you twisted sick, sick people!

  194. The poor monkey is just misunderstood and trying to get his name out there as a real good fella. Poor baby he is so sweet and just wants a hug………

  195. Monkeys don’t scare me as much as people without lips…they are the ones who can’t be trusted.

    Beth Lutskus Lehman recently posted Dog tip #1: Crayons Are Not Fully Digestible.

  196. I don’t want to be friends with Copernicus. I don’t want to give him any inroads into my life at all. BTW, do you pronounce it BLOGGess or BloggESS? I need to know.

    (I can’t entirely blame you. Also – ACTress, MISTress, BLOGGess. ~ Jenny)

    Sarah recently posted I got professional.

  197. I agree with Sarah, while I am sure most of Jenny’s rabid (or T-virus zombie infected) fans are grrrrr8 people, why would anyone open up their personal information to whoever created that profile

  198. I want to become cuddle buddies with Copie. <3

    Nikki recently posted Man, I love college.

  199. Swarley — understandable (though I swear I’m totally harmless). But now with the “Page” instead of an actual account, you can like Copernicus without giving me any access to your profile. Win-win!

  200. I’m not sure we should friend him…maybe it’s his way of making a hit list. Or, it could be considered the actual mark of the Beast. Copernicus as the anti-christ? I think so! Watch out!

    jamie @ cueyourlife recently posted A Change of Plans.

  201. He now has enough friends to have a “fan” page with “likes” instead of friends.

  202. I’m so sad I wanted to be Copernicus’ friend not just a fan LOL.

    Kristin recently posted I CAN'T QUIT You!!!.

  203. What’s creepier? (Creepiest???)
    1. That I checked out your monkey’s page (um…that sounds wrong)
    2. That there were 666 people who liked the page (not kidding)
    3. That I “liked” it just to make sure it didn’t stay 666?

  204. I think the fact that there are over 300 friend requests I’m your inbix is amazing!

    Erin
    Norman, ok

  205. I may be missing the point you, but wouldn’t a 3-day weekend mean 50% more stabbing time? Maybe Copernicus is so murderous because of how much he got made fun of in math class.

    Jennifer recently posted Middlesex ~ Jeffrey Eugenides.

  206. A Facebook friend request is just stalking that hasn’t finished yet.

  207. That last status update REALLY needs to be a t-shirt. My husband needs it very badly!

    Rebecca recently posted Clicker technology without hardware.

  208. Copernicus THM on Twitter is named “Craig”? Maybe it’s not the REAL CopernicusTHM.

  209. Copernicus is on facebook?

    How can this be?

    He doesn’t have a face.

  210. 214
    Rachel Grace

    Also, my cat’s name is Copernicus, and *he* has a FB page, and he thinks it would be hilarious to be friends with the stabby Copernicus because they could get up to all sorts of hijinks, and then someone would yell “Copernicus” and no one would no which one, and it would be some of a homicidal/criminal mastermind version of the Patty Duke show.

  211. Wow…you better sleep with one eye open. I hope you accepted the friend request. Better to be his friend, than to piss him off. And maybe change the password on your computer. How did he know it anyway?

    Abby recently posted Say My Name, Say My Name.

  212. Great, that monkey has more Facebook friends than I do… Well. I have been humbled. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to request this monkey to be my friend on Facebook…

  213. 217
    Endless, Nameless

    Damn, Copernicus is 41? I must say he’s aged remarkably well, spare for the leperosy.

  214. Holy hell, Copernicus has a twin. I just saw him in a scene from Nanny McFee where the dad is in the kids bedroom. I almost spit my coffee out.

  215. 219
    Margaret Aguirre

    I sent it a friend request, just in case it has demonic powers. I mean, based on his published birthdate we could have gone to school together. And none of them want to be my friend.

  216. Margaret – they deleted that first account because I’m “not real” (I know, WTF, right?). Current incarnation is at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Copernicus-The-Homicidal-Monkey/262800540411002

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