I kind of want to make this into a t-shirt

I don’t get many negative comments, but the ones that I do get are so hysterical that I always suspect that people are leaving them on purpose just to cheer me up.

For example, I just got a comment a few minutes ago saying that I deserve to be angrily divorced for buying a giant metal chicken (which is not an entirely invalid argument), but the guy ended his rant with…

“when your wrong, your wrong.”


I can’t even stop giggling, you guys.

Updated:  As requested, t-shirts.

402 thoughts on “I kind of want to make this into a t-shirt

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I don’t have any idea what the hell to say or think about this. But I thought it was cool to be the first one to respond.

  2. holy fucking hell!! That is hilarious. And if you tried to explain…he wouldn’t get it..which is even more funny. Perhaps he should stick with ‘ur’

  3. I would like that as a bumper sticker. I’d put it on my laptop. It would make class debates infinitely more interesting.

    (T-shirt works too.)

  4. I would buy that shirt!

    I don’t understand what the problem is with the metal chicken – reading that post brightened my day for a whole week….though I still need to buy towels.

  5. :snort: Man, I love those kind of errors. It completely nullifies the impact of whatever statement is being made. I’d totally buy that shirt, except that, as a professional editor, I’d cry every time someone didn’t get it.

  6. What’s you’re deal, lady? They’re are a lot of nice people in the world, but your not one of them.

    (Man, it’s a lot harder to come up with sentences that have your/you’re they’re/their/there than I thought. Too bad I give up on things easily.)

  7. Great. Now I’m laughing hysterically in a coffee shop.

    There goes my “I’m on a lap top drinking a skinny, half-pump vanilla latte” preteniousness.

    Thanks a lot.

  8. Can we read the rant? I’d really like to read the rant, especially if it’s full of apostrophe crimes…..

  9. AND he needs grammar lessons. So maybe some edits in purple (because red might hurt his feelings) on the T-shirt. I’ll take mine in an extra large. Black, please 🙂

  10. OMG That post was the funniest EVER! Still laugh just thinking about it. My husband thought it was funny too. No divorce here. Guess that guy just didn’t have a sense of humor.

  11. I sure hope you learned you’re lesson.

    I don’t know where some people get the nerve. Some marriages are barely holding together by the power of a giant metal chicken. And yet yours flourishes in spite of this.

  12. I’m sorry…it was my understanding you deserved to be elected President of the United States And Also The World if you do what you did in giving Beyonce a loving home…

  13. Damn, I wish I was married to that guy. Just to find Beyonce’s body in the pool and her head in the bed. And if I did wake up and he and his stuff were gone? PARTY.

  14. Their just jealous that your a fabulous blogger!

    My English-teacher cousin would love the t-shirt, so I’d totally buy one too.

  15. Complete perfection twinged with just a touch of sadness that he probably has no idea! I have to go with the beer mug logo, fits in all the right ways!

  16. Yes, it did take me a couple of reads to get it. I are normaly more smarter then this.

    Also, T-SHIRT, T-SHIRT, T-SHIRT!?!

  17. I think this commenter was heavily influenced by Jerry Orbach at the end of Dirty Dancing: “When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong.” Except in this scenario the commenter is Baby and you’re Jerry Orbach but Baby stole your line and flubbed it, too. Ok, that comparison got away from me.

  18. Reminds me of when a worker quit by writing a note that said “I quiet.”
    He was quiet…after he quit.

  19. LOVE IT! Reminds me of the time we were following a pickup truck on the highway with a piece of plywood bungee corded to the bed. In giant spray paint letters it said, “If you don’t vote, don’t complane.”

    DH looked at me and said, “That’s why this country’s going to hell in a handbasket. He’s the one voting!”

  20. It’s all about perspective. Like, who’s wrong here? If Victor hadn’t been a weenie about buying new towels Beyonce wouldn’t be an issue. Personally, I’m glad he said no to the towels because Beyonce reminds me of all that is good in the world. And, she’s a teaching tool.

    And can the shirt say, “when you’re wrong, you’re wrong, muthafuckahhhhh” ?

  21. Your my favorite blogger.

    He’s probably not married, because bad grammar is downright unattractive.

  22. along the same line “@SethMacFarlane: RT @AlexShowfield: Most said line in Family Guy “oh my god, your right!” @SethMacFarlane / This may be accurate. (Without the misspelling)”

  23. Ugh. “Your/you’re” is #2 on my list of annoying dumb ass grammatical errors – just after “lose/loose”, but before “alot”. What’s worse is when YOU’RE an adult and you think YOU’RE incredibly smart giving the smackdown to someone. It seriously undercuts the effectiveness of YOUR message when you sound like an idiot. I can’t even read YouTube or Facebook comments anymore without cringing. Is it really that hard?!?!?!

    Is it wrong that most of us harped on that, and not on the fact that some guy needs to stay the fuck out of your marriage? Does it really kill some old biddy that the world isn’t run the way he sees fit? He must be a towel salesman.

    We should introduce him to my mother, they’d get along fine carving their laws in stone.

  24. Oh the schadenfreude when I’m not the one who made a mistake like that. Especially when it’s done in such righteous anger! Thanks for sharing.

  25. My grammatically challenged foreign-born husband fully supported you in your giant metal chicken purchase, I’ll have you know. And laughed!
    But I think he might need that shirt.

  26. Hmm…I would like to know what it would be, to be, “angrily” divorced. That damn chicken story is the freaking funniest thing I’ve EVER read/seen. And, after the reading the monkey story to my own “Victor”, I catch him giving me a look like, “oh shit, I didn’t just say that…please don’t blog about it.” …when he says really ridiculous things.

    Bottom line, thank goodness for people like your commenter, for setting the world straight again. I mean, we got the right to vote didn’t we? Shouldn’t that be enough? Who wants to hear a funny woman call her man out and have an opinion in this country?

    Oh wait…I do. Still laughing about the chicken. I love him.

  27. Maybe we should all learn another language to see if we are any better in that, as so many of us clearly have problems with English. Although I’m a hairy Scotsman, well except on ‘ma heed’ where very little grows. But sureLY Mr Prat Knew he was responding to a young lady word-smith and it may just be that his illiteration is as a result of being a completE NUMPTY.

    On a personal note I prefer my chickens ‘well burnt’ as we say in Scotland…

  28. Delightful. It’d be nice on a coffee mug, too. Kind of a pop quiz for those who see you drinking from it. If they get it, they will laugh. If they don’t get it, you will laugh. Either way there’s laughter and joy. Win-win.

  29. I too would buy a tshirt with that phrase on it. I would also respectfully request a tshirt with a photo of Beyonce the metal chicken and the phrase “I don’t want to be right” on it. (too much for a tshirt? a magnet then.)

  30. True story:

    You know you’re an asshole when you’re sexting with your girlfriend and she texts you:

    “Your so dirty”…and you reply, “you’re.”

  31. LOL That’s awesome. I had one of my customers recently tell me that she’s coming up on her 15th wedding anniversary. I told her the appropriate gift was a giant metal chicken and referred her to your blog 🙂 She laughed and said she’d look you up. I hope she did because that story is hysterical!

  32. Obviously, he’s a divorce lawyer with a spelling problem. This poor guy was probably trying to drum up some business for himself.

    Some daze are better than others.

  33. That’s like music to my cold, dead ears.

    People on the internet never cease to amuse me.

    Except the ones I want to stab. Or angrily divorce.

  34. I also think it should be known that my husband has been forewarned. He can’t call me a hoarder or demand I not buy more baby things, lest he end up with a big metal chicken in the living room.

    To which he responded, “That would be kind of rad.”

    So, when your wrong, your wrong. Right?

  35. I love you so hard. Only you could have developed a seriously badass sense of humour that laughs in the face of tirades of grammatically incorrect trolls. <3

    (Well, okay, not JUST you, but you're my favourite.)

  36. The best part is that he signed in as himself–linked right back to his facebook account, so you can personally tell him how famous his apostrophe crime has made him!

  37. I do not wear t-shirts with words on them… but I would totally wear this. I would also time travel back to the English class I used to teach to wear it there.

  38. Even when you’re wrong, you’re ooooooooh so right. I am still pissed at myself for not stopping for the Beyonces on James Island in SC. Oh giant metal chickens….I heart thee.

  39. I mean what rong with that?

    Your rite, you should make a t shirt.

    OMG, it hurts me to type like that. WILL NOT DO AGAIN. OW, bad grammar hurts brains.

  40. That is seriously AWESOME!! Can you troll him back for that? He might get mad with your correcting his grammar and all but it might be worth it. And btw I have been watching a couple of “beyonce’s” on ebay for myself. My husband just might get one for Christmas.

  41. You’re negative comment just cheered me up! It’s like the gift that keeps on giving!

    (See how I did that? I put “You ARE negative comment…” BAAHHHHAAAA!!! God, I love this.)

  42. While the grammatical error in his insult is absolutely hysterical… I couldn’t help but notice the model for your t-shirt has awkward arm hair. Look at the back view. The upper arm on the right has no hair! Compare it to the left. *Hawkward* 🙂

  43. wow. i am going to assume you are right, and this guy wrote the above negative comment just to make us all laugh on a tediously slllooow friday afternoon. surely no one can be that big of a douche on accident.

  44. Yes.

    I run a child care facility and the state sends a supremely bitchy lady in here to tell me how to do my job on a regular basis. We were “discussing” over e-mail yesterday what I thought were previously amended rules regarding transportation forms. She informed me, “No, these was just given to us yesterday.”

    I wanted to tear my eyeballs out. UGH!

  45. His comment makes me want a metal chicken even more than before…I might have to run over to the HEB this weekend in hopes to incite more poor grammar

  46. And I Googled it, and it doesn’t appear that anyone else has thought of this. Doo eet.

  47. When my wrong, my wrong does what? Well, we know two wrongs don’t make a right. Maybe my two wrongs made a left. At Albuquerque?

  48. As a retired English teacher, I can tell you I am not surprised. And, what is even worse: were you to confront the cretin, they would not understand why you were pointing it out.

  49. Bwahhahahahaha.
    I’d buy a tshirt, accept people might think my edumacation is better than theres. They’res. Whatevs.

  50. And you should write, “when you’re stupid, you’re wrong.” If you want to put someone in their place, at least get your grammar correct!

  51. Isn’t there some scientific law that the hilarity of the comments on a blog post increases exponentially with their number? My favorite *by far* was that man who called you “stubborned” and said that you run your family with “bitter taste and satirical love.”

    THAT’S what my life has been missing- satirical love!

  52. There should definitely be some blood dripping from the “your” on that t-shirt. Let’s say, that’s irony dripping and some scary person holding a knife right above the word.

    So many people make that mistake on the Internet and every time I just want to make fun of them or stab them. Whichever is best suited for the person and their relationship with me. Ha!

  53. Grammar 101, motherfucker!

    In two weeks, I start my first online copy editing class. I am *so* buying this shirt for to wear while studying, despite teh twitchies it’ll give me in my red pen hand.


  54. I’m not completely sure, but I think this may have been my ex-husband. He’s well known for his illogical rants and sloppy grammar.

  55. My spouse and I agreed that any man, particularly one who’s been married for 15 years, who tells his wife, “You are not allowed to…” deserves whatever response they get. Beyonce was a reasonable, rational, and hilarious response! Keep listening to your inner voice – you rock!

  56. I’m sure someone has beat me to this punch, but who can wade through ALL your many comments?

    When you’re write, you’re write!!!

    I would like to pre-order the bumper sticker, please.

  57. so need a t-shirt for that! And then you need small Beyonce on the back or on the sleeve!

  58. Why don’t you just create a line of t-shirts? (The first, of course, should say “Knock, knock, MotherFucker”!)
    And that guy needs to pull Beyonce’s head out of his ass…sheesh!!

  59. Did you see that you can customize the shirts? I think this would be nice with a small ‘knock knock, motherfucker’ in small print at the top of the shirt back. or perhaps a picture of a rooster…

  60. wow. Just wow. He needs a good smack upside the head for being mean to you. People who don’t read your blog just shouldn’t comment. They do not know the dynamics. That being said, he should also go back to school…perhaps 4th grade would be a good place to start.

  61. Beautiful. Also, a giant metal chicken is a reason to stay together, not to get divorced. Or, too get divorced. Or, two get divorced. Whichever you prefer.

  62. Is that supposed to be a variant on the phrase “my bad!”? You know, “my bad!” “your wrong”. Your mistake. I’m just trying to make sense of all the functional illiteracy in America…

  63. And here is a good reason to know capitalization rules:

    Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a
    horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

  64. The only thing that would make that shirt PERFECT would be a picture of Beyonce. I’m just saying…

  65. i am definitely getting this on a t-shirt.
    let’s see how long it takes for my english class to get it.

  66. OK. Perhaps the funniest things was reading the comments and seeing Susan, the “professional editor” saying, “I really love those kind of errors.” I used to say my university students couldn’t write because their high school teachers couldn’t write. Apparently, neither can the professional editors. “Those kinds” or “that kind”: take your pick, but ya just can’t mix singular & plural.

  67. What a jerk! He deserves to have his picture on the shirt for being so completely WRONG!!! This is bananas….laughing very hard and going to call my sisters to tell them.

  68. OMG…Sometimes the comments are as funny as the posts…Hilarious.

    I puffy pink heart love Beyonce the chicken. Seriously. Every marriage has one.

  69. Wow, all I can think to say to him is “oh my, your a clever one!” Idiot.

    Jenny, you’re the clever one girl, keep’m coming!

  70. Ahhh hahahahaha! I was so caught up in defending Beyonce I totally missed the grammatical error!! NOW I get it.

  71. This guy obviously didn’t get the message that sometimes something that is so wrong just feels (and therefore is) sooooooo right:) LOL PS my husband has joyfully indulged my recent chicken infatuation. He knows a happy wife is a good thing:) Oh and he bought me towels too:)

  72. I weep for the past, present, and future of education in this country. If you made that a t-shirt of bumper sticker, more than half the population wouldn’t get it.

  73. My husband says to remind you of copyright / copyrite / copywrite / copywright / laws – make sure you put the dork’s name on the t-shirt as the person quoted – credit where credit’s due please :p

  74. Dear Bloggess Readers:

    Jenny came up with the perfect t-shirt. You cannot ‘help her’ by adding anything to it. Because her line is the punchline. Your line is you trying to be funnier than her.

    And failing.

  75. I once met a guy who had “and then there gone” tatooed on his arm. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was wrong.

  76. He’s jealous of Victor because he doesn’t have a big metal chicken of his very own. Or, he wants to marry Victor, and wants you GONE. Have you ever thought of that? 😛

  77. Don’t take it personally. This person is mad at their spouse and most likely just needs to get laid. Unfortunately, that won’t fix his spelling problem.

  78. I would buy this T-shirt immediately for my friend the AP High School English teacher who is coming to dinner tonight. She will now be a fan of yours!

  79. I am in love with the t-shirt idea! I am also very appreciative of the grammatically challenged people on this earth that give me something to giggle at daily!

  80. I am soooo buying this t-shirt for my friend for Christmas…and for myself! Hilarious!! Only the back needs to say…”and when your write, your write!”

  81. what i would not GIVE for people around me to understand that this is a grammar joke!
    unfortunately, i’m surrounded by people who Do Not Get It.
    the terrible fate of english/writing majors everywhere… *le sigh*

  82. I showed the post to my husband. He laughed. I asked him if he knew what was wrong. He did not. I laughed at him. Thanks for the joy, Jenny.

  83. Damn. Kinda makes you realize that there really *are* people who are too stupid to live. First, why rant about a chicken that isn’t his. Second, obviously someone shouldn’t have passed second or third grade. Wow.

    Thank you for the laugh. I needed it today. 🙂

  84. i think this guy is lacking the love a giant metal rooster can bring to a person. jagged edges, potential tetanus (sp?) its like a fun -will i receive bodily harm from my home decor today?- game.
    what a douche

  85. I would TOTALLY buy that shirt. And probably several more for my grammar-minded friends.

  86. And when you’re write, you’re write.

    I’m sure that this fellow’s rage has turned to happiness knowing about all the fat cash you’re going to make on your awesome shirts.

  87. When you’re a hater, you’re also probably a troll. When you’re a man-troll, you probably have a short penis to match your height.

  88. HA! I would so buy that.

    I only wish mine were that ironic. The last one I received said, “Your an Eskimo racist.”

    I had no idea such a thing even existed, but apparently my am one.

  89. Don’t have time to read the comments so I may be repeating here but….that’s fucking hysterical!

  90. PMSL – I bet when that person sees their quote on here, they won’t get why it’s so funny!

    btw – did anyone else triple check their spelling before posting a comment?? 😉

  91. I started my day in a hotel with 5 kids due to a chicken cooking incident, kids puking in the car on the way to school, and then I read about the metal chicken, turned my whole day around! Thank you for making me laugh (and anyone else I could find).

    Could you add a chicken to the t-shirt?


  92. this is shit you can’t make up. I would put money on the fact that his significant other gave him botulism from poorly prepared chicken.

    A tshirt like this would be epic, only to be improved upon by a track of chicken feet running across the letters.

  93. I’m sorry, but when he’s wrong, he’s wrong… What ISN’T right about a giant metal chicken? *blink* *blink* Having been divorced, I don’t recall seeing “purchased giant metal chicken in lieu of bath towels” as one of the choices on my paper work. Of course, I’m from California, so I’m pretty sure if I’d had a giant metal chicken, my divorce would have taken even longer, because we would have been fighting for custody of it. As it was, we fought for six months over a small cement pig. Which I totally got. BOOYAH. WINNAHHHH! (Oh yeah… I got the kids, too. But we actually fought longer about the pig. Sad but true.)

  94. With a comment like that, and this being the Friday of a holiday weekend, could life possibly be more perfect?

    And, yes, it does warrant a t-shirt.

  95. First of all, I adore the irony in that statement! One would hope that he spelled “you’re” like “Your” on purpose just for the delicious irony. Second of all, my husband fails to understand why any man wouldn’t want a giant metal chicken. He thinks the idea is fantastic. I love that. I want one of these T-Shirts. You should sell them. 🙂

  96. @Yasmel, I love the Alot a lot!

    I was thinking, since Beyonce already comes complete with “motherfucker”, why not (with apologies to Samuel L. Jackson) make a new shirt/bumpersticker/plaque reading “English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?”

  97. I was going to say, “The sad part about that is there are more people who won’t even get that than will,” but I saw someone else said something similar. So unoriginal.

  98. I LOVE laughing at other people’s poor grammar skills! Someone recently wrote to me to say, “ur a idiot.” That was through a dating site though.

  99. Well, I have this to say.
    If Victor divorces you because of the huge metal chicken, then I will marry you (if lesbo marriage were legal). Anyone that would divorce someone over a huge metal chicken should have their head examined – after all, the vows do say “for better or worse”. And if you think this is the better part and Victor thinks it’s the worse part – who cares – it’s in the vows dude – you gotta deal with it.

    ps – does the huge metal chicken also have huge metal chicken boy parts? Or since it’s Beyonce does it have a huge metal hoo-hoo? Just wondering….

  100. Hah! I love that shirt!
    And my god, people are STILL bitching about Beyonce? Do they not appreciate the love Beyonce provides? The dialogue?

    Besides, divorce was the option if you bought TOWELS, not a big metal chicken.

  101. Maybe he meant to say “When your (ownership of a giant metal chicken is) wrong, your (lust for towels could never be) wrong” but shortened it for brevity’s sake?

  102. What’s terrifying is that many, many folks won’t get why that’s funny at all.
    Silly old spelling lists just get in the way of folks having fun in elementary school.

    For #267, boy chickens keep their “hoo-hoos” hidden like cats do.

  103. Love it!!! I want one for the OtherHalf:-)
    That is going to be THE.BEST ANNIVERSARY PRESENT.EVER. unless I can find a Beyonce between now and November!!!

  104. I wish you would also do an alternate version with red correction marks. You know, for those of us who find the actual version too painful.

  105. Why doesn’t Beyonce has his own twitter account??? I need the many moods and insights of Beyonce (only the giant metal rooster) to inspire me from every angle of media out there.

    Also it just hit me… why is is he Beyonce the giant metal chicken and not rooster??? Is he transgendered?

  106. Spelling Mother Fucker! S-p-e-l-l-i-n-g!!!!!! Not only does he not get it, he can’t fucking spell! This is why we have so many problems in the world.

  107. I just like the “angrily” divorced part. I’m going to do all things angrily for the day, in honour of Asshats everywhere!

  108. That is hysterical, the whole sentence or lack there of I would buy a shirt. But I would So buy the when your wrong, your wrong. Cause that is just priceless gold right there. But “angrily divorced for buying a giant metal chicken” that too is gold. LOL.

  109. Send the metal chicken to poke him in the eye. I am sure his point of view will drastically change.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate,

  110. All I really wanna know is this: What exactly is this idiot’s problem with Beyonce? Gian metal chickens totally freakin RULE!

  111. Inspired by you, I got my own chicken. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is in love with her. No angry divorce here. When that guy’s wrong, he’s wrong.

  112. That would be the best t-shirt since my all-time favorite: “Remember the victims, Nicole and Mitch.” It was sold outside of the courthouse during the OJ Simpson trial.

  113. Okay. I’ve been laughing so hard I can barely breathe. But now I think I can type okay. What I want to know…is why is this guy feeling so threatened by Beyonce? What does it say about him? Well clearly he has absolultely no sense of humor.

  114. Your such a nitpicketer!
    All of your for sale items are on my christmas wish list

    I was a little sensitive, thought, as after working into the night and then waking early to get a crazy job done, then having my boss ask me to do five things as once, I whipped off a quick email, only to get the response “You’re confusing your with you’re due to your fatigue!” Thank you for that bit of critical information 🙂

  115. Angrily divorced? Seriously? My Nana gave me some sage advice, “Some people are happy being unhappy. Don’t waste your time w/ these people. Leave them be. It is not ur type of happiness. Don’t judge them. Just distance urself.” I spent years trying to turn them around. It is futile. I found this rather long quote in my post-marriage phase. Gives me a giggle. Thought this was a perfect place to pass it along:
    Congratulations! You’re not perfect! It’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody’s ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you’re not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they’re really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs ’em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week. ~Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!

  116. Oh, so that’s where I was going wrong… I mean right… I mean wrong…

    My head hurts. I think I’ll have to write that one down.

  117. Ha ha ha ha! Best part of it for me is that your going to make money off one one of you’re reader’s snarky comments! Ha ha ha! (It’s fun pretending to be dumb.)

    -Some guy named Andy

  118. Oooooh yes, this definitely needs to be on a T-shirt! And on the back it should say, “When your rite, your rite.” Maybe that would give some of the people who won’t get the front of it a hint?? But it would be REALLY sad if they STILL didn’t get it! And Beyonce should be on it somewhere too.
    Also, I’m with the person who posted that they can’t even read the comments on YouTube any more because of all the bad grammar – makes me cringe too! And may I just say, I SO enjoy reading the comments on your blog too – SO funny! Sew their! (Well, I had to stick one in there, didn’t I?)

  119. Is it just me, or do all the people who leave negative comments need serious English and spelling lessons? I mean, it’s not like misspelled words get highlighted or anything.

    Oh, wait, they do? Doh!

  120. irregardless of the fact your wrong its not nice to teeshirt him.
    howevertheless I will bye one.

  121. Whenever I’m feeling blue, I picture Beyonce waiting patiently at your front door, her delicate little feet stabilized by cement/rock, think, “Knock, knock, motherfucker!” and suddenly all is right with my world.

    More than marriages are being held together by that big metal chicken.

  122. Hilarious! That could spawn an entire line of t-shirts…but for now, let’s start with that one with a teeny, tiny line (that people have to come really close and peer at your solar plexus to read) underneath…”Carry on, motherfucker.”

    You’re welcome. XO

  123. I feel safe saying that most of your readers would get it, as they tend to be smarter than the average asshats. And my inner copy editor *loves* that t-shirt! Also, the not-inner-but-now-older me who spent 7 years editing copy that had exactly that sort of error? Yep, she loves it too! We’d both wear it with snarky pride.

    It reminds me of a t-shirt my 15-year-old son wears with the same snarky pride. The shirt says (and I paraphrase), “I’m right 97% of the time. The other 4% doesn’t matter.” I feel safe saying probably more than 4% of the population wouldn’t get that one either… possibly the same people. Pardon me a moment while I construct a Venn diagram in my imagination of those two population subsets… and giggle! (Why, yes, I *am* a nerd/geek/grammar Nazi. Wolverine!)

  124. Self-ritous jurk. God, I love this blog. I am guaranteed at least one smile (if not a genuine laugh-out-loud) per day.

  125. Oh man, now I want a divorce so that instead of “irreconcilable differences” the reason can be “giant metal chicken”. But I guess I have to find the chicken first. And then convince my husband to divorce me because of it. But knowing him, he’d think it was awesome to have a giant metal chicken. Darn!

  126. The t-shirt needs to have the photo of the chicken at the front door on the back. My husband agrees. Amazing.

  127. THAT is amazing. Right up there with O I C and U no… (oh I see and you know). Not to mention the whole 2/to/too/two wars. I HAVE to buy this shirt, and I’m going to wear it around. I wonder if anyone I’m around will actually understand it…

  128. Hilarious! The t-shirt should have the quote WITH this guy’s name or email address – after all you want to give credit where credit is due – even if he does not understand why. I definitely want a t-shirt either way, it is a great way to judge whether you want to get to know someone – do they get it or not…..are they an idiot or not…

  129. I have an old friend who constantly mixes the words “our” and “are” when he emails me. Maddening. The best part is that he’s a f**king DOCTOR!!! Medical school for what….50 years and he can’t spell!!?? He never says “their” but always types “there” instead…and forget about “to, too, or two.” Unbelievable…..a DOCTOR. I started to insert the word “yer” in place of “you’re” just to needle him politely but he didn’t pick up on it. Did I mention he was a DOCTOR!!!!!

  130. Okay, I seriously want this on a bumper sticker so I can stick it on my net book. Please, start selling! (I’ll take 3.)

  131. As a 4th grade teacher, I could not appreciate this more. I keep trying to explain to my students (in as nice a way as possible) that if they don’t fix it now, they’re going to end up looking like one of these idiot adults. I bring in pieces of mail and things like that with errors to show them examples. I don’t think I’ll be sharing your blog with them, however.

  132. It should say:

    When your cluckin’ wrong, your cluckin’ wrong!! LOL

    Yep, put me down for 3 of ’em! ha…

  133. Just so you know, “your” my go-to girl for a guaranteed guffaw at the end of a soul-sucking day. Thank you for existing. Seriously.

  134. umm, please PLEASE make that into a tee-shirt? That would be, well, beyond amazing. 😀

  135. I really hope you get a red pen and edit his comment and send it back. Because that would be fucking funny.

  136. It would be nice if he would at least spell it right, for crying out loud. You rock, and don’t let them tell you different. Plus, Beyonce is a teaching tool. Of course men aren’t going to like it. They don’t want to learn!!!

  137. bahahahaha!!!

    If you correct him, he’ll probably say that is yet another reason you should be bitterly divorced.

  138. LUV ETT, scroll to top…Blough23…your 1st comment set up your 2nd comment…’your’ still zero…duh.
    T-shirt, Odd by won two. Knot sure odd where it.
    Really need a giant metal chicken though. Wood settle for a t-shirt with Beyonce pic…XXL or XXXL (need enough space for Beyonce).
    COMMENT number 348 a day late.

  139. Seriously?!!?? Wow. just wow. Do it! When I receive comments like that, one thing comes to mind: Consider the source. This was priceless!

  140. Moments like that are to be truly reveled in…..at least you know you’re doing better than that guy….and you probably made him feel all famous because you’re so nice as to give his ” intelligence” the recognition it deserves 😉

  141. I would so wear that t-shirt. Of course, I’ll have to sleep with one eye open so my grammer-nazi child doesn’t murder me for it! Don’t know where he got that tendency (oh wait, I used to correct my sisters’ letters and mail them back to her…)

  142. I am a self-confessed comment whore. And there’s nothing worse than people complaining about the post only to have a bunch of typos. Seriously, people. The message gets lost in the delivery!!
    Anywhoodles – this is just awesome.

  143. HA! God that is pregnant with symbolism and irony. Spellchecker offers equality for the stupid but not in this case. Love your blog.

  144. Your so smart for putting this on a t-shirt. Your going to make a lot of money.

    (that was harder to type than I had anticipated)

  145. The best part about the t-shirt is the douche bag model wearing the shirt! Lol 😀 What’s funny is just how many people don’t get it. Thanks for making my day!

  146. Don’t post this as your facebook status… you will receive 20 messages from people correcting your use of your… although I have used it as a way to cull friends.

  147. Need to print “when your wrong your wrong” on a wife beater (it’s a shirt, Mr. Lojo; don’t get your panties in a wad).

  148. LOL, I just read this entry to my friend Julie, and we decided that if you and Victor get divorced over Beyonce, you have to take her to court as a witness. Also, to be fair, he DIDN’T tell you you couldn’t bring home a giant metal chicken.

  149. Reminds me of the student notes I intercept sometimes. One of the more hilarious misspellings was when one called another a “feggin bicth.” I’ll treasure that memory. 🙂

  150. Can you find out where he lives and leave Chicken on his doorstep. Leave it with a note that says, “Knock, knock. You’re right motherfucker.”


  151. I’m embarrassed for people who are angry and trying to make a point but forget to check their grammar before posting. I want that shirt lol

  152. Yesterday I was at a local Fall festival, and saw a gaggle of teenage girls wearing sweatshirts that read “Your jealous! We’re the best!” I’m not sure which was more appalling -the total lack of grammar, or the fact that several people approved that before putting it on a bunch of sweatshirts for school children to wear. Which am I supposed to be more jealous of? The grammar skills, their spectacular school system, or their bright futures? Still not sure.

  153. Purchased! Along with the ‘Don’t worry It’s not mine” bloody tshirt and the “Be nice or I will Stab you” T-shirt.

    They’ll be perfect attire in my local where people have started to call me stabby. Especially because football season has started and by wearing these shirts perhaps the men will leave me alone so I can just watch the frickin’ game in peace!


  154. I am mortified to say that neither my college student, nor my high school student got it. When I explained it, they chalked it up to “Textglish”. I am truly broken-hearted.

    But, in reading the comments, this particular one caught my eye and my funny bone …

    “The Grammar Nazi September 2, 2011 at 2:24 pm
    OK. Perhaps the funniest things was reading the comments and seeing Susan, the “professional editor” saying, “I really love those kind of errors.”

    “the funniest things was”

    I guess I don’t need to say more?

  155. I just ordered this for my husband. He said he’d like it because it’d be “giving the finger to ignorance”. He is a fantastic guy! When I read him the original beyonce blog and then asked him if he’d like me to get him a giant metal chicken he said “I’d rather you just bought towels”. He puts up with a lot from me.

  156. T-shirt! Actually, the tee shirt should have a picture of the 5 ft. metal chicken wearing a tee shirt that says, “when your wrong, your wrong”.

  157. The following is a Facebook post from someone I went to high school with:

    The boys had there snack and I gave them a peace of licorice and they made mouthgaurds out of them lmao and are sayin reay set hike hike lol


  158. I think of you everytime I go to HEB lately. The temptation to buy one of their 5 ft tall Chickens is so strong. My hubby wouldn’t understand anymore than yours did. But then, maybe he would. I used to have chickens and it almost killed me when hubster had to kill the rooster because he was sick. I should have sent him to hub’s best friend…who is a taxidermist.

  159. One of my favorite quotes: – A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. ~ Milton Berle

  160. I can’t read all of the comments, so I’m just going to beg here. PLEASE make a Beyonce t-shirt. KNOCK KNOCK. I will buy several, I can’t stop laughing whenever I think of her. I’ll keep checking Zazzle. Please please please!

  161. My t-shirt makes me furiously happy – except when it is in the wash and I can’t wear it. It is my favorite! A lot of people smirk and might even comment that they like it. Upon questioning, what I’ve learned is people think I’m wearing it as kind of an arrogant, Tom Cruise wearing his name on the front of his t-shirt, kind of way. They tell me it is fitting for me, which naturally I take as a compliment. Not one of them has really “gotten” it.

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