Dreams are assholes

February 23, 2012

I just had a fever dream that I got married to the Graham Cracker heir, so my name was Jenny Graham. We had a baby and decided to name it something weird so it would fit in with all the stars’ names so we called her Apparel Ella.

It was not until 3am that I woke up and realized I named my dream baby Apparel Ella Graham. It’s like a practical joke I pulled on myself. Nice one, me.

Ps. This post only makes sense if you say the name altogether and are into geometry. Also, being half-asleep and groggy helps.

{ 253 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Susan Hogan February 23, 2012 at 4:31 am: In a parallel universe? Good one!
Susan Hogan recently posted..Update on the boy
2 Kaitlyn February 23, 2012 at 4:31 am: Ha ha ha ha!!! Nerd joked are awesome! Nerd jokes delivered through dreams are even better!
Kaitlyn recently posted..When you know you’re wrong…
3 Gary February 23, 2012 at 4:32 am: That’s hilarious
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4 Laura @ Unlikely Explanations February 23, 2012 at 4:32 am: If you ever give your dream baby a dream little sister, you should name her Holly.
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5 Barbara W February 23, 2012 at 4:33 am: But you forgot the second best part of the story! What was Victor’s reaction?
6 Shiloh walker February 23, 2012 at 4:33 am: Lack of sleep made it make sense for me…lol
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7 Laura @ Unlikely Explanations February 23, 2012 at 4:34 am: And if you have a puzzle-loving dream baby, you could name her Anna.
Laura @ Unlikely Explanations recently posted..The Five Stages of Realizing You’ve Written a Poorly-Worded Blog Comment
8 my honest answer February 23, 2012 at 4:34 am: As in ‘a parallelogram’? Phew, it took me a while, but I haven’t had much coffee. And I think I used too many ‘l’s. Or not enough ‘l’s.
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9 Andreas Heinakroon February 23, 2012 at 4:35 am: Hahah! Good one! You subconscious is obviously very clever and funny!
Andreas Heinakroon recently posted..Crowdsourcing a new pair of glasses
10 Kira February 23, 2012 at 4:42 am: Is there a ‘Like’ button on here…..

I DO love a nerd gag!
Kira recently posted..Curiouser and curiouser….
11 Tom Stronach February 23, 2012 at 4:42 am: What’s going on over there, another Twitter ‘friend’ in America is also wide awake? Must be a government conspiracy, something in the air to keep you awake at all hours so that you are to tired to see what they are up to all the time!
Tom Stronach recently posted..Letter Mr David Cameron Prime Minister
12 Breezybee360 February 23, 2012 at 4:43 am: Amazingly hilarious! Insomniacs u-ni(gh)t-e! I started a new sleep med tonight that’s supposed to knock me out almost instantaneously but I’m still up, ergo, I question this fact stated to me by my lovely doctor. She lied! Oh, well…some things work, some things don’t; what remains the same is that I’m totally in love with your blog and can relate to you OH SO VERY MUCH! Thank you for sharing your stories to let me realize that I am absolutely not alone and that I can be funny again someday! Lots of love from Wisconsin!
13 ChaoticDNA February 23, 2012 at 4:44 am: OMG you’re even smarty-pants funny in your dreams. That’s all kinds of awesome.
14 weezafish February 23, 2012 at 4:45 am: Ha! To be that lucid when I’m AWAKE. That’s one of those words I sometimes have trouble saying, parallelogram. Oh, and suspicious. Anywaaayy …
weezafish recently posted..Thank You, Gruffalo
15 Anonymouse February 23, 2012 at 4:46 am: Jenny! Amazon.co.uk is an asshole and has cancelled my pre-order of your book. Since it has also removed the price indicator, I can only assume it has done this to charge me more for your book than the price I pre-ordered it at. I am caught between being please you will (hopefully?) be making more money, and outraged that those motherfuckers are screwing with my ability to ever become eligible maybe possibly in the future for a bookplate.

(Several people mentioned that in the last hour. I don’t know if it’s related but I know a UK publisher bought the rights yesterday so they may just be switching you over to the UK edition. I’m asking about it but no one in America is up right now to answer. Rest assured though, there will be a UK version. Sorry about the hassle! ~ Jenny)
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16 Elaine- February 23, 2012 at 4:49 am: haha, wow… dreams are cool at times, i used to solve physics problems in my dreams… but have never told myself a funny in my dreams, so you rock, as per usual
17 Moxie-Dude February 23, 2012 at 4:53 am: That IS clever. Clearly your hamster works over-time too!
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18 Mey (@Meysocial) February 23, 2012 at 4:57 am: Haha, my kind of… *day*dream actually! xD I’m not particularly into geometry, neither sleepy nor groggy… is my brain naturally wasted? :p

Thanks for being, Jenny
x
19 Moomser February 23, 2012 at 4:58 am: I wish I had your dreams…
Moomser recently posted..Some things just boggle my mind
20 Reneesance February 23, 2012 at 5:00 am: Even your dreams are clever what’s up with that?? My dreams are nothing but an endless carousel of boring crap. Except when I was working in a costume shop 15 hours a day and then coming home and dreaming about sewing. Then I would get up and sew for 15 hours again….but there would be margaritas for lunch at least!
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21 ParisReally February 23, 2012 at 5:15 am: LOVE it!
22 thepsychobabble February 23, 2012 at 5:16 am: *snort*
Well done, subconscious (and unconscious) Jenny
thepsychobabble recently posted..Dose Of Happy: Chuck E Cheese
23 Kathy February 23, 2012 at 5:23 am: Thanks. Now I’m going to have a nightmare about geometry, which was the only class I nearly failed in high school. So apparently your dreams are assholes to other people, too. Dreams should not have that kind of reach.
Kathy recently posted..My Life Has Been a Lie
24 Jamie February 23, 2012 at 5:26 am: Oh my gosh Jenny. You just made my morning. I love nerdy math jokes. Except i guess it’s at your imaginary child’s expense, so…. nah, still funny
Jamie recently posted..Want To Swap Interviews?
25 Vivian February 23, 2012 at 5:27 am: You should quit insomnia now your dreams are AWESOME
Vivian recently posted..Family for sale
26 Anonymous February 23, 2012 at 5:28 am: The more I read from you the more i’m convinced that you and my wife are the same person separated at birth.
Keep up the awesome work!
27 artsieaspie February 23, 2012 at 5:31 am: You do better asleep than I do awake. That’s magnificent.
artsieaspie recently posted..Happy New Year!
28 Brigette February 23, 2012 at 5:36 am: Future dream birth announcement: Para, Holly, and Anna welcome their hipster baby brother, Insta.
29 golfinggrannie February 23, 2012 at 5:36 am: Love it!
30 Cat @ Breakfast to Bed February 23, 2012 at 5:37 am: This needs to be a “Car Talk” employee.
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31 WilyGuy February 23, 2012 at 5:43 am: I love play on words and I wish my weird fever dreams had practical jokes in them!

Normally I get the running in place while trying to run away dream. My therapist says that has meaning, but he never caught up to tell me what it was…

WG
WilyGuy recently posted..What DOES God Look Like?
32 Ashley Pratt February 23, 2012 at 5:43 am: And when she’s a rebellious teen, she’ll change her name to a symbol, like Prince. But you won’t have to call her anything different. Brilliant.
33 Chelsie February 23, 2012 at 5:45 am: I’m ashamed to admit how many times I had to read that before I got it. NIcely done.
Chelsie recently posted..I breaded the cat tonight.
34 Shelley February 23, 2012 at 5:46 am: I am just impressed you were able to remember and recount your nerd joke dream….despite your lack of sleep
Shelley recently posted..My fridge clearly hates me!
35 Julie Nemitz February 23, 2012 at 5:53 am: Funny post, and smart of you to figure that out. I had to post this to you, since I can’t email you. I just saw this:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2012/02/22/funny-pictures-food-supply-sorted/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ICanHasCheezburger+%28I+CAN+HAS+CHEEZBURGER%29 and thought immediately of you. Awesome!!
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36 Darcy February 23, 2012 at 5:55 am: It took me two tries to get it… I guess I have passed the point of tired and half asleep that’s useful…darn does that mean I get to sleep now?… guess not wheeeeeeeee!
37 EdT. February 23, 2012 at 5:56 am: At least you didn’t name her “Penta” – just think of how that would have gone over in Sunday School!

~EdT.
EdT. recently posted..WW: No junk on this trunk!
38 alaina February 23, 2012 at 5:57 am: In my head it sounded like a parallelogram. I think I heard of that in geometry once. Or I’m groggy and not awake yet.
alaina recently posted..NotsoGood Vibrations.
39 Jeff Clough February 23, 2012 at 6:18 am: It must be going around. My dreams were royally bizarre last night, but I’m pretty sure it’s just anxiety over a trip I’m taking next week.
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40 rebecca February 23, 2012 at 6:21 am: I love your brain! I love that it played a joke on you! I’m sorry you have/had a fever though. xxoo
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41 E M Foster February 23, 2012 at 6:38 am: I’m glad to know I’m not the only who has dreams that make them say “What the-?” I love your brain, Jenny!! Mine has come up with some strange dreams, but nothing that awesome. Last night I spent all night looking for red sparkly nail polish. Why? No clue.
42 Michelle February 23, 2012 at 6:38 am: That’s genius! I once dreamed that I was looking something up in the phone book and the entry before Entenmann’s Bakery was Edible Orphan. I think my brain was going for oedipal and got derailed. Or I’m crazy.
Michelle recently posted..Four Reasons To Stop Yelling At Yourself
43 Ctina February 23, 2012 at 6:43 am: Your brain is so beautifully fucked up. I heart you.
44 Holly Waterfall February 23, 2012 at 6:45 am: Brigette-I thought the boys were twins?! the printer left out Tele
45 Rebecca @ Sink Or Swim February 23, 2012 at 6:53 am: Goddamnit, even your dreams are more clever than I am!
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46 Imperfectmomma February 23, 2012 at 6:54 am: Just…hahahahaha. Needed that
Imperfectmomma recently posted..its the aliens man
47 danielle February 23, 2012 at 7:06 am: youre a fucking sleep genius…
danielle recently posted..Our Trip to Chicago on this Wordless{ish} Wednesday
48 Calamity Wren February 23, 2012 at 7:14 am: lol I am so wise I had already read it out loud. Good name!! Thanks for the smile this morning.
49 Queen of All Things Good February 23, 2012 at 7:17 am: As a lifelong math geek, that made me laugh out loud this morning. Fortunately I’d already swallowed my mouthful of espresso. Morning espresso fouls are the worst!
50 Lissie February 23, 2012 at 7:21 am: I am an enormous math geek. I love me some parallelograms. Your dream baby is chic on so many levels.
Lissie recently posted..Take-out
51 wasnt_serious February 23, 2012 at 7:24 am: Your subconscious is awesome. (and so are you of course)
52 Erin @ Brownie Bites February 23, 2012 at 7:25 am: Ha, you should write your next book in a dream-induced stupor – you’d come up with some epic material!!
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53 moooooog35 February 23, 2012 at 7:26 am: I dream of Jeannie.
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54 Erin N. February 23, 2012 at 7:30 am: I’m dying. lol!
55 Kim D. February 23, 2012 at 7:32 am: bahahaha that’s awesome. You’re even charming and witty in your sleep!
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56 Katrina @ 'Sota is Sexy February 23, 2012 at 7:34 am: Apparel Ella Graham. I like it.
Perhaps a potential name for a future taxidermied friend?
Obviously he/she would be an American Apparel wearing hipster who’s really good at math.
And making s’mores, obviously.
Katrina @ ‘Sota is Sexy recently posted..Little Condo on the Prarie
57 Zannah February 23, 2012 at 7:34 am: That’s brilliant! My dreams never result in jokes. I usually wake up irrationally annoyed at my husband because of something he did or said in my dream. Last night, he hurt my feelings and DIDN’T APOLOGIZE. Of course, in his dream, I made him come home from London. Why would I do such a thing? Our subconsciouses have unresolved issues. Is there a plural form of subconscious? ‘Cause that doesn’t look right.
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58 Kathleen February 23, 2012 at 7:34 am: I love this!!
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59 Kass February 23, 2012 at 7:36 am: LOL!! That is too funny.
60 Gem February 23, 2012 at 7:36 am: My daughter recently realized you’re a nerdfighter….you’re doubly her hero now. I’m not sure what that says about my parenting, but I think I’ll take super awesome mom of the year!
61 a February 23, 2012 at 7:40 am: Thanks Jenny – nothing better to start my day than a bunch of geometry and other word jokes. Hope you have no more fever…or if you do, they produce more entertaining dreams!
a recently posted..Free Advice Day
62 Lindsey February 23, 2012 at 7:44 am: *snort* Ha!
63 Scarlet February 23, 2012 at 7:44 am: No matter way to start the day than with a great math joke! And my nerd factor just went up in my husband’s eyes. I’m good with that.
64 a chris February 23, 2012 at 7:48 am: But. I don’t think that dream was an asshole. I think it’s awesome when my brain constructs something intricate and funny in a dream. Trying desperately to find a clean public toilet while being chased by people with guns is just way too literal, and frankly, brain, it’s getting old.
a chris recently posted..Colourful language.
65 Brigid February 23, 2012 at 7:52 am: Swear-to-goddess last night I had a dream about you (which I know other commentors have done so honestly I was a bit relieved to have finally hit that milestone, like when you are learning a new language and then dream in that language. You have sufficiently infused yourself into my subconscious).

I dreamed a whole bunch of us bloggess fans were at the beach and you were encouraging us all to get into the water because we were afraid. Except for me, I couldn’t go in because I had to pee. So you encouraged me to just go right ahead right there and I felt that fabulous release you feel after you really have to go and then finally can. Then I realized I was dreaming, and in a dream you can never actually go pee, because really it’s your body in real life that needs to pee, and if you pee in your dream you must be peeing in real life. But I was definitely peeing in my dream.

This is when I woke up in a panic worried that I had wet the bed.

THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO US, JENNY.
Brigid recently posted..The Only Charitable Giving Guide You Need This Holiday
66 If I were God... February 23, 2012 at 7:52 am: It could’ve been worse. A lot worse. What if dreamt you married a guy named Hymen and named your son Buster? Or married a Hunt and had a son named Michael? See, you got off easy. (Always a plus for a woman)
If I were God… recently posted..Brown Fat and Robots riding Camels
67 Dusti February 23, 2012 at 7:58 am: Wow. Your sleep-brain is full of nerdy geek-win.
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68 Monica DeLaCruz February 23, 2012 at 7:59 am: ha! she’d grow up and HATE you.
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69 Stephi February 23, 2012 at 8:07 am: OMG! I now have a new name for my daughter….Normally we call her Portab-Ella or Cinder-Ella depending on her tude that day!

Thanks, the old ones were getting old.
70 Milaka February 23, 2012 at 8:07 am: I love your brain. That’s completely awesome.
Milaka recently posted..Showmanship (and Family)
71 Mayor Gia February 23, 2012 at 8:08 am: A PARALLELOGRAM! Snicker. Your subconscious has a good sense of humor. I’d name my baby “triangle.” Lowercase t. He’d be unique.
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72 Sara February 23, 2012 at 8:10 am: I wish I could remember my punny dreams!
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73 plaidfox February 23, 2012 at 8:17 am: And maybe tomorrow night the dream will continue and you’ll have a boy and name him Teddy. Mmmm….. Teddy Grahams…. Damn it, now I’m hungry.

The end.
74 Brenna February 23, 2012 at 8:19 am: I can’t believe you’re funny even in your dreams! Jenny, you’re a whole new level of awesome!
Brenna recently posted..Watch out! Zebra Cat!
75 KyCat February 23, 2012 at 8:20 am: Awesome! So many of your posts have made me laugh with tears streaming down my face, but this one – this one is the most ha ha while still able to sit erect and not cry. Thank you so much for sharing. I love all math jokes but don’t actually like geometry because math should NOT have more words than numbers!!! OK, I’m calm now. Thanks for a great start to my morning .
76 Lisa February 23, 2012 at 8:21 am: Wow. I have trouble remembering how to walk in my dreams, let alone use word play.
Lisa recently posted..A motivational post because I’m that kind of motivational gal! … Okay so really it’s just a plug.
77 Redneck Hillbillies February 23, 2012 at 8:24 am: Brilliant! Sad truth is, most of the general population probably wouldn’t get it. That’s why the stars pick something like Apple instead.
Redneck Hillbillies recently posted..Gone Squatchin
78 Kristen February 23, 2012 at 8:28 am: I love it when brains do crazy awesome stuff like that. Good job, Jenny’s Brain!

Oh, and here’s a big ~hug~ from me because I love you, but in a nice, not blog-stalkerish way.
79 Michele February 23, 2012 at 8:30 am: And now you need to name one of your creepy dolls after your dream child. And give her parallelogram shaped glasses. And a cape.
80 Allyn February 23, 2012 at 8:33 am: Bahahahaha.
I so know some math nerds who would be ALL OVER THAT.
Allyn recently posted..One Year Ago Today
81 Amanda February 23, 2012 at 8:34 am: Dammit! Dream me is never that clever!
82 L-Kat February 23, 2012 at 8:38 am: Ha! That’s awesome. I used to have nightmares that I was trapped in a never ending game of Sudoku. Your nerdy dreams are way better than that.
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83 Monica February 23, 2012 at 8:41 am: You stole my future baby’s name. I mean, after I convince my husband to change our last name to Graham. Still, I’m not sure I can forgive.

Also, dream you is smarter than awake me.
Monica recently posted..Don’t ignore someone’s news to tell them about your boobies. It’s rude.
84 Jaime February 23, 2012 at 8:42 am: That’s going to make me giggle for days!
Jaime recently posted..Motherhood & More: Kids’ meals a source of anxiety*
85 Alexis February 23, 2012 at 8:45 am: True story – Graham crackers were developed during the Victorian era by Dr. Graham and were part of a whole suite of foods that were designed to curtail nocturnal emissions (which people then believed led to madness). The Graham cracker is the sole remaining item from Dr. Grahams medicinal food line.

Sorry – have been hanging on to that nugget since grad school and couldn’t pass up on the chance to throw it out there
Alexis recently posted..Are You Keeping Baby Awake Too Long?
86 Sweety Darlin February 23, 2012 at 8:46 am: THAT WAS AWESOME!!! I got it right away and cried laughing! It is no nice to know that I am not the only one with weird dreams. A weeks or two ago I dreamed my daughters boyfriends father asked me out on a date.

TOO STRANGE FOR WORDS. But wait it gets better. She told her boyfriend about the dream, and the boyfriend replied, “Your mom is cool so that would be okay” SERIOUSLY you get how that is too strange right, but I guess teenage brains don’t think through what they say very quickly.
Sweety Darlin recently posted..The 10 (12) Things Lists
87 Jen J. Danna February 23, 2012 at 8:50 am: Bwahahahahahahaha! I was scratching my head until the geometry clue. Masterful!
Jen J. Danna recently posted..Forensic Case Files: 147 Years After The Battle of Antietam, A Union Solider Finally Comes Home
88 souphead February 23, 2012 at 8:54 am: took me a second, then i almost choked on my muffin. your dream brain my be even more creative than your awake brain. and that’s saying something!
89 Allison February 23, 2012 at 8:55 am: I love your subconscious. That’s the best name ever. I might use it for our new cat, after we get one someday.
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90 Skwishee February 23, 2012 at 8:56 am: Really not a bad name, considering. Although, you realise naming your kid a math joke would practically guarantee that she’d hate math. Maybe you should go with a stripper name instead. “Introducing, for the first time, the President of the United States – Ms. Bambi X-Stacey Lawson!”
Skwishee recently posted..Aurora’s New Dress
91 kit @ DIYdiva February 23, 2012 at 8:56 am: I had a dream once that I got some baby chicks, and as they were roaming around on the floor I asked the chicken expert (because why wouldn’t there be a chicken expert) what I should name them. She said, “Name them One, Two, and Three… then they can be your little Roamin’ Numerals!”

Apparently my subconscious isn’t as clever as yours.
kit @ DIYdiva recently posted..Liberty House Master Bath: Satisfying My Need To Hit Things With a Hammer
92 Amber February 23, 2012 at 8:58 am: Bahaha! Awesome.
Amber recently posted..going juiceless
93 brian t February 23, 2012 at 9:00 am: I suspect it would also help to have a Texas accent when saying that e.g. “an owrnse eys abahrt 28 grahams”, or something like that!
brian t recently posted..annual report, 2008-9
94 Wilson February 23, 2012 at 9:06 am: Wow. Your brain is *really* into geometry. I’m very impressed by your subconscious!
95 Margaret February 23, 2012 at 9:07 am: I didn’t think it was possible to love you more than I did already, but Voila! you’ve made it possible. Bad nerd puns IN YOUR SLEEP? Brilliant! Also thanks to the commenters above for the Holly and Anna suggestions. I wasn’t able to read every comment, did anyone else say Telly for a boy?
96 Alynxia February 23, 2012 at 9:10 am: I’m partially through my first coffee and laughing my ass off.
97 Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? February 23, 2012 at 9:12 am: Even if I tried to be that witty, I couldn’t.

And my husband LOOOOOOVES math, so now he’s probably really disappointed in me.

I’ll have to name our yet-to-be-conceived child cosine or something.

========================================
Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted..Oh Shit.
98 Ele February 23, 2012 at 9:18 am: Hilarious!
Ele recently posted..Unicorn Amongst Umbrellas XI- Multimedia
99 Ashley February 23, 2012 at 9:18 am: I don’t even like Geometry, but that totally made my day!
Ashley recently posted..psychopathic chickens learning to swim
100 Brian February 23, 2012 at 9:25 am: How very clever of your unconscious mind! I’m also half-asleep and groggy, so anything clever coming up in this comment is probably not going come up. But that’s okay, I guess. The most clever thing I’ve dreamed up is going to prom on a giraffe-sized bicycle.
Brian recently posted..Road Retorts Re-Revisited
101 kendahl February 23, 2012 at 9:28 am: This is wonderful for the first thing I’ve read this morning. You named your child after a shape. I love it. I had a dream that I was being suffocated and woke up not able to breath. Not nearly as fun.
kendahl recently posted..A new spin on an old classic. The yearbook.
102 April February 23, 2012 at 9:34 am: I snickered. Nice on.
April recently posted..Eleven Years
103 April February 23, 2012 at 9:35 am: …one. Nice ONE. (This is what I get for not having coffee this morning.)
April recently posted..Eleven Years
104 Eggton February 23, 2012 at 9:35 am: There is a legal case from Arkansas about whether a kid named (wait for it) “Weather’by Dot Com Chanel Fourcast Shepherd” should have his name legally changed to “Samuel Charles.” It’s amazing, and it’s 100% real. Skip to the part that starts “Olly Neal, Judge.”

The best part is where the Judge says to the mom: “I want you to think about what he’s going to be – - what his life is going to be like when he enters the first grade and has to fill out all [the] paperwork where you fill out – - this little kid fills out his last name and his first name and his middle name, okay? So I just want – - if your answer to that is yes. . . ”

Here’s the link: https://courts.arkansas.gov/opinions/2004a/20040407/ca03-454.html
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105 Karen February 23, 2012 at 9:36 am: Your dreams might be assholes, but they’re genius assholes. Parallelogram! *snicker*
At least you didn’t name her Crypt O Graham.
Karen recently posted..A shout out to The Bloggess…
106 Dana the Biped February 23, 2012 at 9:37 am: Cool–you’re clever even when you’re unconscious!
Dana the Biped recently posted..I Am Not Dead. Yet.
107 Julie February 23, 2012 at 9:38 am: I have serious dream envy right now. That’s even better than giving your kid a palindromic name!
108 Christine Bobowski-Powell February 23, 2012 at 9:39 am: I love it! And yes, I’m one of those geeky dreamers too! My worst nightmare, though, was dreaming I was getting married and the alter started to wobble. Then I realized that I’d forgotten to find our wedding rings so I went to Wal-Mart to get replacement ones while the guys fixed the alter. When I got to the jewerly counter, there was a crowd everywhere trying to check out and complaining about milk being $12 a gallon! I was so freaked about milk being $12 a gallon that it woke me up.
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109 JenW February 23, 2012 at 9:41 am: That would make for a good Bart Simpson crank call name!
110 Allie February 23, 2012 at 9:43 am: This makes me so happy.
111 Christian February 23, 2012 at 9:44 am: My friend Anita Fallis doesn’t see what’s so funny.
Christian recently posted..Divorce with a side of onion rings
112 Judy February 23, 2012 at 9:49 am: When I was in junior high school I had a dream that our group of friends went to Flushing Meadow Park in Queens, NYC to have a picnic, which often happened in real life. At the time, I was going through a rough patch. In my dream, we had a water fight and my friend gave me a towel to dry myself off. When I woke up, I had a sudden flash that in the dream she meant to tell me “Don’t throw in the towel.” And I laughed all day.
Judy recently posted..In Which I Have The Worst Day At Work Ever
113 Miranda February 23, 2012 at 9:56 am: *giggle*
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114 Lisa S. February 23, 2012 at 9:56 am: Well. I have a new goal: marry someone with the last name of Graham so I CAN DO THIS.
115 Lara February 23, 2012 at 10:00 am: I’m sorry you had a fever but at least you had a funny dream! My fever dreams tend to be awful nightmares. Graham cracker heir sounds like an awesome name for a band.
116 Bee February 23, 2012 at 10:08 am: I once dreamed I threw an actual baby out with the bathwater. My subconscious is hella heavy handed with the metaphors and also really mean
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117 Charity February 23, 2012 at 10:27 am: How ’bout the chick who lived in Galveston, Texas and was an heir, named Ima Hogg.

I’d totally want to slit my wrists. lol
Charity recently posted..The Boobicorn
118 Anna, Fitscally Responsible February 23, 2012 at 10:30 am: A Paralellogram. I love it. And, yes, I had to use google to make sure I spelled that correctly. I am proud to say I got it on the first try! (and, yes, dreams are a-holes. yesterday I had a dream that I was a victim of home invasion – I woke up so tense it was crazy!)
Anna, Fitscally Responsible recently posted..My day in pictures (Instagram-style, of course)
119 Steve Bellock February 23, 2012 at 10:32 am: I laughed out loud the first time I read it, I am still laughing, and will probably be laughing about this all day. That might make work tonight a little awkward. Thank you Bloggess, I think you just made my decade.
120 KD Easley February 23, 2012 at 10:34 am: Oh I love you. Thanks for making me giggle.
121 Maria February 23, 2012 at 10:36 am: I have night terrors sometimes, which means I see things in a sort of awake state and think they’re really there. It happens when I’m really stressed. Usually it’s spiders crawling somewhere, but for some reason this time it was half an egg shell sitting on my knee. My husband heard my usual yell and came in to find out what was wrong. After ascertaining that the egg shell was nowhere to be found, I fell back asleep, but the fun doesn’t stop there.

He said to me, “Heroes in a half shell.”
To which I groggily replied, “Turtle power.”

Sometimes night terrors can bring fun and joy to everybody! Especially my husband.
Maria recently posted..It’s 11PM, Do You Know Where Your Drunk Friend Is?
122 susieQ February 23, 2012 at 10:36 am: oh sh*t, i just laughed so hard, i cried.
123 Heather in Ottawa February 23, 2012 at 10:43 am: I’ve had some doozies lately in the dream department but that? Is seriously awesome!
Heather in Ottawa recently posted..Three Little Words
124 Artor February 23, 2012 at 10:44 am: Someone told me the story of sleeping in a “haunted” house where a man named Mister Crist had died. They woke in the middle of the night to see his ghost walking through the room. It tipped it’s hat, and faded through the wall. The viewer woke her husband with her laughing. Upon explaining the vision, she said she was scared at first, until she realized, “The ghost of Crist must pass.”
125 red February 23, 2012 at 10:48 am: That is SO AWESOME! And yes, dreams are assholes. Last night I dreamed that you turned me into a cartoon on your website. Pretty weird, cause I don’t even have a cat!
red recently posted..So now I’m Dreaming about Blogging? Crap.
126 Jimi the Saint February 23, 2012 at 10:56 am: Hysterical thanks for the laugh.
127 "Susan Says..." February 23, 2012 at 11:04 am: Got it. I just dream that spiders are eating my face.
“Susan Says…” recently posted..Agoraphobic? No. Hooked on Hummus? Yes.
128 Wendy February 23, 2012 at 11:08 am: I think in your shop you need to start carrying monitor wipes on account of the spewing of coffee and/or wine slushy you create.
Wendy recently posted..Yup – 2 More!!
129 Karen Peterson February 23, 2012 at 11:09 am: I love when my dreams know that I’m a nerdy geek.
Karen Peterson recently posted..So You Wanna Be a Star…Awards Week Continues
130 Britt February 23, 2012 at 11:29 am: Goddamn I love you.
Even in your sleep you are more brainy and clever than I am when I’m fully awake.

Hero.
Britt recently posted..Hand Me a Tissue… For My Nose, Perv.
131 Barbara February 23, 2012 at 11:32 am: Your dream-brain creates geometry puns. Mine just gives me the “OMG! I’m late for class!” and “OMG, where’s my clothes!?!” kind of dreams. Your dream brain is full of awesome. Mine is just an asshole.
Barbara recently posted..I only need one!
132 PreciousJewlz February 23, 2012 at 11:32 am: I’m currently on lots of drugs right now for an infected tooth. You made me laugh so hard I had to take another pain pill. Bless You.
133 Jenny@vegetarianhatesvegetables February 23, 2012 at 11:32 am: Haha! I had a dream that my new doctor was a little person. When I saw this, I said to the nurse, with all seriousness, “Oh. So is he light on his feet?”
Jenny@vegetarianhatesvegetables recently posted..After the fat
134 Christene February 23, 2012 at 11:34 am: Apparently a lot of people don’t like geometry… what a shame… but not a surprise… either way, *I* thought this was very clever and funny.
Christene recently posted..Slipper Shortage
135 Kait February 23, 2012 at 11:42 am: Hey Miss Jenny;

I’ve been a reader/lurker for a year now and I just wanted to say I really appreciate your blog, especially posts like this one. I was extremely happy to purchase your book and cannot wait for it to arrive. You’re wonderful, and have sent my fiance and I into fits of laughter more than once, as we have similarly dark humor. I’d love to say more but I’m likely going to be buried underneath all the comments as it is

Please stay on the internets forever!! xo.

-Kait.
136 Arline February 23, 2012 at 11:52 am: weird, but i guess your dream has a meaning?
Arline recently posted..Commentary: E-Relationships
137 Emily February 23, 2012 at 11:53 am: Engineers *heart* The Bloggess
138 Tanya February 23, 2012 at 11:55 am: That’s funny! I just had my first zombie apocolypse dream the other night. I am proud to say that not only did I survive but I found the cure!
139 MotherWifeMe February 23, 2012 at 11:56 am: Ha, I do love a good play on words. Needed a hoot after a day slaving over starting my first ever meme, why I chose to do it on a serious issue, rather than something light and fun I’ll never know – oh yes I do, it is because it needed to be done. Anyway, nuff said, you made me smile and for that I thank you!
MotherWifeMe recently posted..a mother’s work – anywhere working week from 27th February
140 Kara February 23, 2012 at 12:01 pm: This makes me giggle EVERY TIME I read it. Which means I’ve giggled like 3 times now.
Kara recently posted..Sunday Music, February 19 edition
141 Anna February 23, 2012 at 12:03 pm: this is why everyone should have a dream notebook they keep by the side of their bed, just waiting for moments like this that must.be.recorded.
Anna recently posted..The American International Toy Fair 2012: The Owls Edition
142 Jaime February 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm: dreams are so bizarre…. most of mine don’t make any lick of sense the next day. At least yours is funny…. I’m still laughing.
Jaime recently posted..Conversations with….. Ferret Edition!
143 L-Diggitty February 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm: My brain is not smart enough to move backwards through a dream to parallelogram… my brain tips its hat to yours!
L-Diggitty recently posted..B.I.G.M.A.C. (and also crop circles)
144 Karin K February 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm: Funny. I “got it” about one second before I read the tutorial at the end. Dreams can be assholes, but geometry is definitely an asshole.
145 Lorca Damon February 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm: I don’t necessarily need to marry the Graham cracker heir since he’s all yours now, but I would like to have an affair with him while you’re out of town.
Lorca Damon recently posted..True Love is a Real Bitch That Way
146 Becky February 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm: You’re hilarious even in your sleep. And I’m jealous of your interesting dreams. Because mine are painfully boring.
Becky recently posted..Just ew
147 Jim W. February 23, 2012 at 12:20 pm: I once dated the heir to the Benson and Hedges fortune. And by heir I mean, she was the grandaughter of Benson. . . or Hedges and in no way in line for any money at all. But she was cute. . . except for all the smoking.
Jim W. recently posted..Little Celebrations
148 Amanda February 23, 2012 at 12:32 pm: This jumped out at me and screamed Jenny…LOL

http://russrockinghorses.com/products/rocking-hen
149 rachel February 23, 2012 at 12:33 pm: oh my god I laughed so embarrassingly hard at this /nerd
150 Shannon February 23, 2012 at 12:34 pm: i died. that is beyond hilarious.
Shannon recently posted..Textual Feeling: Mind Fucked
151 Tela February 23, 2012 at 12:39 pm: hahaha
152 handheadman February 23, 2012 at 12:41 pm: That story has a funny slant to it.
153 Kam February 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm: You TOTALLY have to say it out loud!!!! Oh, that was funny!!!
154 Alex@LateEnough February 23, 2012 at 12:46 pm: Am I the only person would kept talking to myself louder and louder “Apparel Ella Graham” while leaning closer and closer to my computer screen ,and then read the PS?
Alex@LateEnough recently posted..I Want My (Liberal, Loving) Religious Liberties Upheld
155 Rob R February 23, 2012 at 12:48 pm: My 5 year old wants to be a trapezoid for Halloween this year. I guess shapes are the new super heroes.
Rob R recently posted..There ARE Stupid Questions. And I Have Stupid Answers
156 Kayla February 23, 2012 at 12:51 pm: hahahahaha….I love jokes like that…….. “Know any chemistry jokes??……Na”
Kayla recently posted..What’s Cooler Than Being Cool?
157 Sherilynn February 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm: AWESOME dream – I’m with Barbara – what was Victor’s reaction?
158 Shana February 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm: I’m neither half asleep or groggy and I thought it was funny. I wish I had dreams that I could remember, or maybe I don’t.
Anyway, I have been reading your blog for a while, ironically it began with Beyonce. Yesterday, I received my second issue of, my newly subscribed, Ladies’ Home Journal. In this issue, page 82, is you and Victor and towels and Laura and Beyonce. I was so happy to reread the funny, funny tale of an how an argument over towels lead to a phenomenon of giant metal chicken proportions. Congrats, Jenny you have suburban street cred. Not that you didn’t already.
159 C.A. February 23, 2012 at 12:56 pm: Clever girl! I wish my dreams were so entertaining.
160 Mrs. One Day February 23, 2012 at 1:01 pm: Nothing like a good parallelogram for a kid. Maybe it would be an omen of good math skills?
Mrs. One Day recently posted..National Margarita Day is My Heritage!
161 Elizabeth @ Bella Vita February 23, 2012 at 1:13 pm: Edit: Dreams and sometimes geometry are assholes.
Elizabeth @ Bella Vita recently posted..Lessons From The Most Beautiful Woman In The World
162 Katy Del February 23, 2012 at 1:23 pm: That’s hilarious. I wish I was that clever while I was asleep.
163 Sarah February 23, 2012 at 1:35 pm: holy schnokers thats funny
164 J February 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm: omg HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! Brains be weird.
165 Sedge | noob-dad February 23, 2012 at 1:56 pm: You’re such a square.
Sedge | noob-dad recently posted..I’m a New parent: No TV, Fast Food, or Tantrums for MY Baby.
166 Katy February 23, 2012 at 2:01 pm: Your subconscious is hilarious!
Katy recently posted..Horror Episode Review: The River, Episodes 1 and 2
167 Brett Minor February 23, 2012 at 2:14 pm: You know you are really funny if you make up jokes even while you are sleeping.
Brett Minor recently posted..Kicking Addiction by Going Cold (Angry) Turkey
168 Jenny Joy February 23, 2012 at 2:35 pm: What does it say about me that I got the joke RIGHT. AWAY? Oh Em Gee.
Jenny Joy recently posted..Honey badger don’t care. Okay… maybe a little.
169 melissa February 23, 2012 at 2:43 pm: And, a brother: Attila.

BTW- Parallelgram is one of my favorite words, just ’cause its fun to say. All the “l” sounds!
170 Vanna February 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm: I feel so sad for myself … I had to read the post twice to get the joke XP
Vanna recently posted..Blue Skin Toned People
171 Indiana Lori February 23, 2012 at 3:19 pm: Jenny, You are dreaming about math. Get help immediately.

P.S. Only a brilliant wizard could come up with a name that homophones parallelogram, so you have that going for you.
172 Kerry February 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm: Bah Ha Ha!!
Kerry recently posted..Proud Mama
173 Jennifer February 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm: Impressive!
I just wake up talking in gobbledegook which is easier said than spelled. Then laughing. luckily the cat doesn’t understand…
brilliant blog, keep it up.
Jennifer
ps stole your juanita pic to leave a link on another blog. not that you care.
174 Janene February 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm: Okay, I feel like a dork. I didn’t get the connection until the very end. When someone says graham crackers, my mind immediately rushes to s’mores. Then my mind turns mushy as I imagine the goodness that is marshmallow/chocolate/graham cracker. I need to find a camp fire.
Janene recently posted..Picture perfect
175 Laura February 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm: That has to be some sign of genius. I dreamt that I had picked up ballet tights at Target – now, you could call that a premonition, or a sixth sense, since I got them today, but really, let’s be honest: it was a low-grade anxiety dream…
176 Rebecca February 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm: Even in your dreams, you’re funny.

And geeky.

So very, very geeky.
Rebecca recently posted..Yesternight’s Workout:
177 Nicole February 23, 2012 at 4:03 pm: Why aren’t my dreams that fucking clever? That’s awesome.
Nicole recently posted..This is me right now
178 Steve February 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm: whatever drugs you took before bed must be good, so share
Steve recently posted..Paczki
179 Jennie Jackson February 23, 2012 at 4:28 pm: It’s nice to know that even your unconscious has a sense of humor!
Jennie Jackson recently posted..Living with a Splash
180 Shannon from 'mynewfavoriteday' February 23, 2012 at 4:30 pm: This is hilarious…and who doesn’t love a Parallelagram: or “Apparel Ella Graham.”
Shannon from ‘mynewfavoriteday’ recently posted..Living life, full of life ~ “Mynewfavoriteweek’ly Inspiration.”
181 Carm February 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm: Should I be proud or embarrassed that I “got it” before you even explained that I had to say it all together? Probably. But I don’t care. I think we should have a DNA test…I’m pretty sure we’re related somehow. Love, your long-lost sister, CARM
Carm recently posted..Hi, I’m pissed. Suck it.
182 Elisa February 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm: That was funny even though I’m wide awake. I AM however suffering from insomnia. Victor could be Victor Ola Crank….or…something.
Elisa recently posted..Elisa and The Surprise Intruder
183 Tara Williams February 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm: I found it’s also helpful to say it out loud. In fact, EVERYONE enjoys it if you just suddenly blurt it out.
184 Goddess of Books February 23, 2012 at 4:35 pm: I told this to my Algebra teacher, who also teaches Geometry, and he just shook his head and walked away. I think he was laughing on the inside, though.
Goddess of Books recently posted..Soul Thief
185 Red February 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm: So, I didn’t get it til I read the comments.
Then I said it in an American accent and it all made sense.
Damn my awesome Aussie accent!
186 Granny K February 23, 2012 at 4:37 pm: Your subconscious is HYSTERICAL!
187 scott February 23, 2012 at 4:39 pm: True story: Almost named my middle daughter Robyn Anna.

Hello, Jennifer the Bloggess.
scott recently posted..Erzurum
188 Carm February 23, 2012 at 4:42 pm: Beats the dream I had about a month ago that I had won superbowl tickets and clenched my jaw so tight that I shattered all my teeth and kept spitting out tooth fragments and every time I moved my tongue I found MORE fragments and MORE TEETH kept falling out until my husband asked me to take a walk with him in the back yard so that he could tell me, “I think it’s time we parted ways.” then handed over a letter detailing how he’d pay child support and give me enough money to pay the mortgage on the house. All I could do is look at him with that expressionless, toothless, hollow mouthed stare. WAY TO KICK A GIRL WHEN SHE’S DOWN ASSHOLE. I still can’t look him in the eye.
Carm recently posted..Hi, I’m pissed. Suck it.
189 A Morning Grouch February 23, 2012 at 4:46 pm: That is effing fantastic. Dreams ARE assholes, I can attest to that – BIZZARO!
A Morning Grouch recently posted..Saturday Mournings
190 Rachael February 23, 2012 at 4:47 pm: If you don’t name your boy “Teddy” we can no longer be internet besties…
Rachael recently posted..How to get V.D. I’m here to help.
191 Eve2 February 23, 2012 at 4:53 pm: As soon as I said it out loud I literally laughed out loud at my desk!!
192 Stacey February 23, 2012 at 4:55 pm: I totally had to say that out loud in order to get it. Go me!
193 Kim @ The Family Practice February 23, 2012 at 4:59 pm: This is very similar to where my head is at today – no sleep and jokes that only make sense or are funny mid-delirium I’m in that state a lot tho these days
Kim @ The Family Practice recently posted..Sleepless Humor
194 Marissa February 23, 2012 at 5:00 pm: I plan to name my next girl kid Ellen Minnow Pea.

Which may only be funny if you are an early childhood educator. Or if you know the alphabet.
195 Angela February 23, 2012 at 5:03 pm: Your subconscious is a genius
Angela recently posted..Day 2: 21 Hours
196 Lee February 23, 2012 at 5:12 pm: Awesome! Better than my dream of tear gas bombs disguised as peaches being thrown at me, while plotting with the others how we will rise up and rebel against the invaders by joining the march well knowing we will separate and turn against our oppressors, then I woke up. I like your dreams better.
197 Dan February 23, 2012 at 5:16 pm: Or are a math/science weenie.
Dan recently posted..And Now For Something Completely Different …
198 Heather February 23, 2012 at 5:33 pm: Oh mah gawd, I literally loled after I read it out loud. That doesn’t happen often, but shows why I read this blog!
199 Emma February 23, 2012 at 5:34 pm: Not only is this absolutely freaking hilarious, but I had a dream last night that they made the blogess into a TV show. Way not cool
200 Liz February 23, 2012 at 6:01 pm: I’m an 8th grade math teacher and you just made my day! I hope you don’t mind, I think Apparel Ella Graham might just show up as the star of a word problem in the future. And by future I’m thinking tomorrow. The kids would secretly love it. And by secretly I mean groan loudly about how corny it is while rushing to explain it to their friends. And because I just have to share, I had a whole conversation about with some kids about Doctor Who today and how I wanted to buy a Tardis for my desk, and that they sell cardboard life-sized ones, but it probably would take up too much room in my classroom. My classroom is going to become a Nerdvana!
201 Kath February 23, 2012 at 6:03 pm: As a math major, I am thrilled that you chose the name Apparel Ella
202 eliz a buf February 23, 2012 at 6:30 pm: you rule, jenny !!

and long live euclidian geometry, yay!! xoxxo
203 Taryn February 23, 2012 at 6:31 pm: Haha! Nerd glee! Math jokes crack me up.
Taryn recently posted..Is it just me, or is her butt on backward?
204 adelheid_p February 23, 2012 at 6:52 pm: You are the only person I know who puns in her sleep! That was a good one!
205 birdie February 23, 2012 at 6:54 pm: I recently had a dream about a hamster I named Princess Stinky the Grouch. When I told my boyfriend this, the name made him laugh so hard it brought tears to his eyes. He couldn’t imagine why a grown woman’s brain would come up with a name like that. After three years, I finally have proof he doesn’t know me at all.
206 Kat February 23, 2012 at 6:55 pm: Is that like a parallel universe? OMG you had a baby in a parallel universe!

I need food. And sleep. I need my kids to sleep. Never mind, I’ll go now.
Kat recently posted..Why I should never, never, EVER be allowed out in public when I’m hungry
207 April Graham February 23, 2012 at 7:03 pm: My last name actually IS Graham, and I may have to steal this for my first born…
208 Brea February 23, 2012 at 7:10 pm: That is so great. I read it out loud to my sister in law and she got it before I even said her name all together. Your sub-conscience is a funny woman.
Brea recently posted..I Stand Out on my Own Terms
209 Lori February 23, 2012 at 7:19 pm: you crack me up

i love math humor
Lori recently posted..Scars by @cheryrainfield
210 Shoes February 23, 2012 at 7:22 pm: Ahh, how I love this! Thank you for the nerd humor, it was much needed today.
Shoes recently posted..Slump
211 Carrie February 23, 2012 at 7:29 pm: Wow…I’m ashamed.

I have always completely sucked at anything math-y…and literally had to go back and say it out loud after your PS instructions.

I’m sure my momma is proud.
Carrie recently posted..I shouldn’t out people like this, but we all gotta fall sometimes.
212 Erin February 23, 2012 at 7:58 pm: And Apparel’s twin, Tela. When people want their attention, or to greet them, they call “Holla, Graham!”
213 Valerie February 23, 2012 at 8:03 pm: Last night I dreamed I woke up to a bunch of aliens bathing in my room. Like it was some sort of fucking bath house. I just laid really still so they wouldn’t ask me to join them. But those assholes kept me up all night and my day was shot. Fucking aliens. No god damn manners.
Valerie recently posted..The secuity guard is already dead… And you’re next.
214 Jen February 23, 2012 at 8:34 pm: Almost as epic a dream as when I had a dream about being Harry Potter.
215 Procrastinateher February 23, 2012 at 8:34 pm: Naw, that would actually be a cute name in the world of Harper Sevens and Apples.

My fever dream was that we had a spare shower we didn’t use for about a day, and when I went to use it, the floor was covered in a smorgasbord of frogs, lizards, even a couple of cane toads that the cat had caught (cane toads haven’t spread this far south though).

…You know, in case you were really bored and wanted to hear other people’s weird dreams, like the one where they walk into your house after somebody else has broken the glass…
216 Joy Ribisi February 23, 2012 at 8:40 pm: Truly amazing!
Joy Ribisi recently posted..Recipe Scrapbook
217 Tom February 23, 2012 at 8:42 pm: You know, geometry jokes are among my favorites. Right along with linear algebra jokes. Unfortunately, I usually have to explain the punchline: Keanu Reeves…Matrix…get it?
Tom recently posted..Bangkok: 8 Things in 8 Days
218 edenland February 23, 2012 at 8:49 pm: I thought you wrote that you married the Graham Cracker HAIR. It kind of made more sense.
219 Valerie February 23, 2012 at 9:15 pm: Also, I love that you are creative even in your sleep. I probably would have named the kid Bob.. or .. Flo..
Valerie recently posted..The secuity guard is already dead… And you’re next.
220 Sj February 23, 2012 at 9:19 pm: Now, _that’s_ funny.

Nothing is ever as funny as a good maths joke.
Sj recently posted..When All Else Fails….Call The Plumber
221 beccaann February 23, 2012 at 10:12 pm: I have an acute love of geometry jokes/ puns.
beccaann recently posted..Collab Post – Bec’s Trend Thoughts
222 Sarah P February 23, 2012 at 10:15 pm: Please don’t mention geometry. I just started to recover from the panic attack I was having at my sons, soon to be high school, during cirriculum information night. Did you know they let them start drivers ed at 14yrs old noW!!!!! I have handled every aspect of my sons growing very well, until now. Now I need xanax, and probably some wine. Also, I should probably start with therapy and save alcohol and drugs as a last resort.
223 TreasureGoddess Christine February 23, 2012 at 10:20 pm: Sweet mother, I love your brain! Just sitting here having a day that would earn me a red dress for sure when I read this and snorted diet coke RIGHTOUTMYNOSE! awesomeness. thanks for that.
TreasureGoddess Christine recently posted..Look away…the horror!
224 Jenna February 23, 2012 at 11:04 pm: Can’t believe it took me 4 attempts to get this joke. duh!!!
Jenna recently posted..Help Me
225 Allie February 23, 2012 at 11:11 pm: I had to say it out loud.

Thank you for the late night laughs…always.

~Allie
Allie recently posted..Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
226 XLMIC February 24, 2012 at 2:17 am: I’ll bet that Graham Cracker heir was a real square.
XLMIC recently posted..The Wild Thang at Costco…
227 Ms.Amber February 24, 2012 at 5:39 am: lol my oh my! i read it twice. funny!
Ms.Amber recently posted..2012 Prophecy
228 Sidney February 24, 2012 at 6:27 am: L7
Sidney recently posted.."So, How did You Two Meet?" – Part Four
229 Meaghan February 24, 2012 at 7:04 am: You should know, being half asleep and groggy doesn’t help. I felt like I was playing that game that had those stupid commercials where everyone was sounding out “Imaluvmasheen” or that other game from junior high when you hold your tongue and say “I was born on a pirate ship”. Not un-fun just more difficult to figure out than I feel was justifable on my part is all.
230 Snarkier Than You February 24, 2012 at 7:30 am: Your brain is craftier in your sleep than mine is when fully conscious.
Snarkier Than You recently posted..The Boogeyman
231 me_mumstheword February 24, 2012 at 7:37 am: Even your dreams are hysterically funny!
232 crazy_caregiver February 24, 2012 at 8:31 am: LOL! You kill me! Makes me want to log my dreams again even though they won’t measure up to yours. Keep up the great blog, you keep me from jumping!
crazy_caregiver recently posted..Pinterest passion
233 Lise February 24, 2012 at 10:00 am: she’s not a blockhead
234 Rixie February 24, 2012 at 10:08 am: I had a dream about Nathan Fillion last night. I dreamed I ran into him at the mall and tried to talk him ino making a picture holding twine and/or an arm full of kittens. I wasted a Fillion dream on twine!!! I blame you for this.
Also, my daughter had a dream this week that aliens abducted Fozie Bear, disected him, and turned him into a cartoon robot version of himself. I am so proud! She asked me, “Is it normal to dream about puppets and in animation?” I replied, “Only when you are exceptionally smart.”
Rixie recently posted..A Political Update
235 Yfke February 24, 2012 at 1:43 pm: Bwahahaha – even your subconscious is brilliant.
236 Amy February 24, 2012 at 7:46 pm: I just want you to know that i have never loved you more than I do at this moment.
237 A nony mouse February 24, 2012 at 9:22 pm: Dream states, “What will be will be.” This came to me in a dream on a take home exam in biology on protein synthesis, was allowed one unknown factor. So I plugged (or is that pluged) in a feedback mechanism to stop DNA transcription with a clipped off section of the RNA. The professor gave me a C-, saying that wouldn’t work. Well 25+ years later they found my unknown factor MiRNA…Well it’s No Bell for me tolling.
Now I think I’ll go dunk some graham crackers in milk…ahhhh the memories.
238 A nony mouse February 24, 2012 at 9:27 pm: Jenny, the title…I think you have your dreams mixed up with my boss. Don’t worry I won’t tell Victor.
239 c.c. February 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm: wow. that’s impressive. i’m not that clever when i’m conscious. i’m so totally jealous of you right now.
240 Shannon February 24, 2012 at 11:54 pm: You are a ray of sunshine to my depressed mind
241 LynnDee February 25, 2012 at 12:51 am: I had one dream where I was partying with the Kardashians & stole Kim’s phone, and another where I was roommates with Julianne Hough. I wish I dreamed about geometry & graham crackers.
LynnDee recently posted..How the Odds Were Ever In My Favor Today
242 Domestic Debbie February 25, 2012 at 8:34 am: Lol, omg!!!!!! I only have nightmares, I wish my dreams were that hilarious.
Domestic Debbie recently posted..Helping Your Family Eat Better
243 Doug February 25, 2012 at 8:35 am: As a Geometry teacher, I applaud all Geometry humor. When my students complain about how cold my room is, I simply send them to stand in the corner. If they don’t get it, I comment on how that’s ninety degrees. Apparel Ella would be totally non-non-plussed.
244 Taube February 25, 2012 at 10:23 am: That is the fucking awesomest thing ever! You are an incredible wordsmith! : ) : )
245 Jessica February 25, 2012 at 1:31 pm: ha, that just made me laugh out loud here.
246 Renate February 25, 2012 at 8:03 pm: Apparel Ella, meet the rest of your siblings: Ana, Angie O., Millie, and Son O. And you, Miss Jenny, are PRO!
247 Jess February 25, 2012 at 11:53 pm: I’m not half asleep and groggy, but I have had half a bottle of wine… Laughed out loud (well, kinda out loud; my son is sleeping) Parallelogram. Love it. My dad almost named one of my sisters Amanda Lynne (a mandolin… yeah…) and he wasn’t dreaming, half-asleep, groggy, or drinking. Thank god for my mom’s veto power!
248 Candice February 26, 2012 at 3:42 pm: I actually know a Jenny Graham. Only, she’s Jennie Graham, which is different. But, it made me mile.
249 Miles & Musings February 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm: Wow, I love this. Yet another reason why I make sure to read your blog each & every day
Miles & Musings recently posted..Dr. Toques and the Amazing, Technicolor Half-Marathon
250 Uber Lurker February 27, 2012 at 8:04 pm: love.
251 Karl February 28, 2012 at 1:25 am: I love math and numbers, and I just burst out laughing at this one…just like I do with all of your posts. But I loved this one because more my style of humor.

I don’t use foul language, but your writing is so hilarious, it almost makes me want to start.
Karl recently posted..Two Half Marathons
252 Katie February 29, 2012 at 1:13 am: My sister has crazy dreams like that pretty often. My favorite is the one where she apparently had a condition that caused her to fart out fully inflated latex gloves. The medical term was Flatulatexitis.
253 Bonnie March 1, 2012 at 6:14 pm: Hmmm…

This reminds me documentary on dreams I saw once.

A young lady was asleep in a lab and the folks studying her said the name “Robert” (the name of an ex-boyfriend of hers) as she slept.

She awoke and reported dreaming about a rabbit.

Further tests suggested that the sleeping brain is both a little deaf and prone to puns. And susceptible to suggestion.

You may need to watch Victor for suspiciously geometric behaviour.
Bonnie recently posted..Plastic Blue

Dreams are assholes

Pretend With Me

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I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Currently in love with Kelly Vivanco art: