OMG IT’S HERE, YOU GUYS

April 17, 2012

Guess what?

Go out and buy every copy that you can find. For America.

Or for Canada.

Or for…wherever you live.

Seriously, you’re my only hope.

UPDATED: Holy shit. This is in People Magazine…

I suspected this is all just fever dreams from the coma I’m obviously in, but this pretty much proves it. I’ll miss you all when I come out of this coma.

{ 474 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Claire J April 17, 2012 at 2:54 am: Awooooooo!
2 Claire J April 17, 2012 at 2:55 am: Awooooo!
I’m very excited for you. Mine should be coming to the UK before too long – very much looking forward to it.
Claire J recently posted..Things they DON’T teach you in foreign language classes
3 Anonymous April 17, 2012 at 2:58 am: I am so very proud of you! Mine should arrive today and I can’t wait!
4 Liz April 17, 2012 at 2:59 am: I’m impatiently waiting for my NOOK to realize that your book is officially on sale and that it can change the status from “pre-ordered” to “reading”. more proof that the internet is becoming self aware and trying to take over the world!
5 Tristan April 17, 2012 at 3:01 am: Woo!

Available in the UK too – grabbing the Kindle edition right now. May have to get a hard copy too
6 Vivian April 17, 2012 at 3:01 am: It must be the best feeling. Congratulations !!!!
Vivian recently posted..Shhh don’t mention it
7 Oly April 17, 2012 at 3:06 am: So exciting! Can’t wait to get my copy over here in the UK.
Oly recently posted..Help make it safe to talk about mental health
8 Eleni April 17, 2012 at 3:10 am: When/where is it getting published in Hong Kong??
9 Judy, Judy, Judy April 17, 2012 at 3:10 am: Gotcha covered Jenny. The wait is over. Yay!
Judy, Judy, Judy recently posted..Henningsens and or The Band Perry
10 David April 17, 2012 at 3:21 am: I’m buying two for Ireland.
Because one isn’t enough to save this country.
11 cass April 17, 2012 at 3:25 am: My uk kindle copy came yesterday
12 Amber April 17, 2012 at 3:27 am: It’s ok Princess Leia-Jenny. . .Obi-Wan/your followers. . .are here to help!
13 Invader_Stu April 17, 2012 at 3:28 am: Congratulations
Invader_Stu recently posted..English Breakfast Radio
14 Pia Anderson April 17, 2012 at 3:29 am: Come in! Finally it’s out! Congrats! Will absolutely grab a copy of that. The video is sickly awesome^^
Pia Anderson recently posted..MSDSonline Management Partners with ICG Group, to Acquire MSDSonline from Existing Investors
15 Jenny April 17, 2012 at 3:32 am: Bought it! Yay for the Kindle! Otherwise I would have had to wait a month for the stupid U.K. publishers to catch up.
Jenny recently posted..A portrait of Lori from RRSAHM
16 Gigi April 17, 2012 at 3:45 am: Off to download for the Kindle! Congratulations!!
Gigi recently posted..He’s home. And, apparently, in need of a new toothbrush.
17 Squid April 17, 2012 at 3:45 am: Mine has arrived via Kindle in Australia – perhaps I’m the first! See you at the Blue Willow in Houston next week – boob signing optional.
18 Anonymous April 17, 2012 at 3:51 am: For half Guatemalan half Dutchmen living in Australia everywhere!
19 Bob the Water Cat April 17, 2012 at 3:53 am: Yes. Congratulations. You inspire us all. (is that bad?)
Bob the Water Cat recently posted..Shocking Confession
20 Miss T April 17, 2012 at 3:54 am: ordered. excitement.
21 Amanda April 17, 2012 at 3:57 am: Just waiting till I get home to download it to my nook. It’s been preordered for weeks!
22 Michelle April 17, 2012 at 4:02 am: My bookplate got here on Monday, my book (fingers crossed!) gets here today – squee!!!
23 Dawn Shaw April 17, 2012 at 4:05 am: Love your knock knock jokes! My copy just shipped and I got my signed book plate. Thanks for being so awesome!
24 Heather April 17, 2012 at 4:17 am: Why didn’t Amazon ship it so it would arrive today?!?!? I’ve got my nameplate and now I just need my book to put it in! Argh! I hate waiting!!!
Heather recently posted..N is for Names
25 Rae April 17, 2012 at 4:29 am: OMG. I’m stopping reading for the night but only because I’m crying from laughter, my battery is dying, and laughter is waking everyone else up, even the cat. I love the book it is even more awesome than I could of ever imagined. Thank you.
26 Kara April 17, 2012 at 4:32 am: I preordered a copy from B&N (and paid for it with Christmas lights – best payment method ever) so that should be coming this afternoon. However, I plan on being first in the store at my local Barnes & Noble. Not only will I take pics of the LPTNH display but I plan on making sure that the book is in a good location with great exposure. If this means shoving a Nora Roberts book over to the side, so be it…

Then I will buy the first copy of the day and I shall dance jubilantly (in my head). Wish that I could be in NYC to see you and the very not empty card table that you will be sitting at. Have them set one up in the ladies as well, just in case. Have fun today!!
Kara recently posted..Funkalicious Modern Patio Chairs
27 Sorcha April 17, 2012 at 4:42 am: Today is my daughter’s 3rd birthday. She also decided that, her birthday, she wanted to wake up at 4:30 am to watch a movie. The first thing I did was check to make sure the Kobo store had released it. I have good priorities. Now that I have my book, I’m going back to sleep.
28 Jennifer April 17, 2012 at 4:44 am: THAT’S GOING TO BE ME TODAY. Run for the hills, kids!
Jennifer recently posted..The Graveyard Book ~ Neil Gaiman
29 Jenn April 17, 2012 at 4:45 am: Stumbled into the bathroom to get ready for work at dark o’clock and grabbed the Kindle. Woke up SO fast when I realized that cause I prepaid for the book it SHOWED UP ON MY KINDLE THIS MORNING. It’s like it KNEW I was going to need something to wake me up today. And now I’m late for work. Gee thanks Jenny. (Actually seriously thanks – work stinks this week anyway!)
Jenn recently posted..Traveling Red Running Shorts
30 Tucker April 17, 2012 at 4:45 am: Congratulations! I’ve got pre ordered copies coming for me and my bestie. Amazon and the delivery guys better be on pointe today. I’m quite certain there are at least a bazillion people who are counting on them not to screw it up. As of right now I still have faith in them. I mean, 5:30am may be a slightly unreasonable expected delivery time. They’ll get here. Right?
31 Chelsie April 17, 2012 at 4:51 am: This is one of those days I wish I was childless and unemployed so I could stay home and read your book without anyone bothering me. Congrats!
Chelsie recently posted..(Mostly) Wordless Monday
32 Ashleigh April 17, 2012 at 4:53 am: That’s my favorite youtube video in the history of youtube videos. Totally made me laugh out loud. Which is an accomplishment at 5:00am. Jenny, you make the world more furiously happy. I asked for your book for my upcoming birthday. If I don’t get it for said birthday, I will buy it for my own damn self. Just so you know.
Ashleigh recently posted..Winning the Depression War…
33 Kris April 17, 2012 at 4:53 am: Congratulations!! Hope you do something badass to celebrate!
Kris recently posted..The Chase.
34 Elisa April 17, 2012 at 4:53 am: Congratulations! I ordered it yesterday, couldn’t believe it’s available in Italy!
35 Marisa April 17, 2012 at 4:54 am: It’s about fucking time!!! Enjoy!!!
36 Kristin April 17, 2012 at 4:56 am: Amazon says it’s “Shipping Soon.” I WANT IT NOW!!!! Congrats and I’m sure your book tour will be a huge success!
37 Cre April 17, 2012 at 5:08 am: My husband Jay (who I call J for short) just caught me dancing with excitement in the kitchen. I have the name plate..it finally came!!!!!!!!

I have vodka snow cones waiting for your masterpiece to arrive. Longest wait ever.
38 LaurenA April 17, 2012 at 5:14 am: Downloading from Audible right now! I can’t wait to hear your beautiful voice! Any drinking games I can prepare for? I hope I can drink every time you say fuck and be plastered.
39 Mariah April 17, 2012 at 5:25 am: Furiously happy for you! Furiously happy for myself, too since I will soon be the proud owner of the best damn book ever written. Woooo!!!
40 Karen Bee April 17, 2012 at 5:27 am: I’ve never been so glad to have a Kindle or be unemployed. Not only do I NOT have to schlep to a bookstore, I can spend all day reading the Gospel According to Bloggess. ALL DAY.
Karen Bee recently posted..Be Vewwy Quiet … I’m Hunting Wabbit
41 Varda (SquashedMom) April 17, 2012 at 5:28 am: Buying your book tonight at your reading in NYC, babe. Will be there leading the cheering section. With my spatula in hand.
Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..SOC Sunday: Spelling Lessons
42 Ann April 17, 2012 at 5:28 am: Eeeeee!!!!! *runs through house flapping Muppet arms* Amazon had better be delivering that puppy today!
43 The Six-Fingered Monkey April 17, 2012 at 5:29 am: I have cash on hand so I can buy it at tonight’s signing!!! Yay!!!
The Six-Fingered Monkey recently posted..“OMFG”
44 Just A. Reader April 17, 2012 at 5:30 am: I ordered it from Amazon in November. I got the book plate yesterday. Now all I need is a book to go with it.
45 Jess April 17, 2012 at 5:31 am: Eagerly awaiting my overseas pre-order!! Best news I’ve heard today Congrats on finally getting it out!
46 Andie April 17, 2012 at 5:31 am: Been waiting on my order.. Yay!
Andie recently posted..An Easter Tale from my Idyllic Childhood
47 Kristen Hager April 17, 2012 at 5:31 am: Why oh why does the UK have to be so far away from Texas? (Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever had *that* emotion before…)
Can’t wait for my copy to arrive. Will be keeping a proper British stiff upper lip until then.
KIDDING! *SNOOPY DANCE*
48 Julie April 17, 2012 at 5:31 am: The library called today, I am first! Get to pick it up tomorrow.
Wait, that would techincally be yesterday and today. Who gives a shit, I get to read your book!!!

(This is the witchy Julie, in case the tag line/blog title didn’t give it away.)

Congratulations, AGAIN!
Julie recently posted..Only me, on a Moonday.
49 Wally April 17, 2012 at 5:31 am: UPS man usually shows up here around 10:00 am, that’s when hang my “On a conference call” sign and shut my office door for the rest of the day.
50 Nicole April 17, 2012 at 5:33 am: Can NOT wait for mine to arrive!!!!!
51 Rob R April 17, 2012 at 5:33 am: Im on the fence between getting the book and a subscription to Cat Fancy. Alright you win.
Rob R recently posted..I Wonder What It’s Like To Be Gay
52 Velvetrose April 17, 2012 at 5:33 am: YAY…I woke up to find my “copy” on my Kindle!!!!

I can’t wait to get started…no work will get done today… =/… = )
53 Virginia April 17, 2012 at 5:34 am: Yay, book day! I have to wait until the Blue Willow signing to buy the book(can’t afford 2 copies). I will be paying full price which puts more money into the Mounted Animal Rescue Fund(that’s a thing, right?).
Virginia recently posted..New Crap!
54 Fairly Odd Mother April 17, 2012 at 5:34 am: My bookplate is sitting here awaiting the arrival of its master Hope the kids can make their own lunch (and dinner) today. Mama’s going to be reading.

(and many, many congratulations!)
Fairly Odd Mother recently posted..Taking the plunge
55 SUPAHMAMA April 17, 2012 at 5:35 am: So… umm… I’m totally saving my change so I can fly down to Miami for the day before my Birthday for the 5/4 signing in Coral Gables. If there’s not a photo op and a signed book in my hands by the time I go home, I may or may not cry. It’s (almost) my Birthday and I’ll cry if I want to? Can’t wait to get my hands on a copy so I can actually read it before meeting you!
SUPAHMAMA recently posted..I just want to go home.
56 David Cutler April 17, 2012 at 5:36 am: My copy was delivered from Amazon YESTERDAY!!!! Yeah!
57 Rexxar April 17, 2012 at 5:37 am: Aww yiiisss
I preordered way back in November. Exciting to see it finally come out!
58 Mayor Gia April 17, 2012 at 5:38 am: WOOHOOO! Congrats!!!
Mayor Gia recently posted..Things that Make Boyfriend Angry: a Dinner Adventure
59 Alex@LateEnough April 17, 2012 at 5:38 am: Congrats! I can’t wait for my copy to arrive. Well I can because I have to but I don’t like it.
Alex@LateEnough recently posted..We Went Into Nature And Survived, Which Makes Us Survivalists
60 WilyGuy April 17, 2012 at 5:40 am: I bought mine. I’m also buying another for a giveaway winner. (Sorry, you missed my repeated tweets to come over and win…)

WG
WilyGuy recently posted..Steer Clear of the Viral Post!
61 Anonymous April 17, 2012 at 5:40 am: Now if only amazon and usps would hurry!
62 Auntiem April 17, 2012 at 5:41 am: Seven of nine….THAT was hysterical. Love the video and can’t wait to read the book!
Auntiem recently posted..I so need to learn how to market stuff
63 The Middlest Sister April 17, 2012 at 5:42 am: A million congrats! It’ll sell like crazy
The Middlest Sister recently posted..House Rule No. 3
64 StatMom April 17, 2012 at 5:43 am: Woo hoo! Mine was delivered to my Kindle at 12:30 a.m.! Work? What work? This day should be a holiday.
65 Anonymous April 17, 2012 at 5:44 am: Omg I want a copy!!!!
66 Nicole April 17, 2012 at 5:44 am: My schedule today has an hour blocked off to specifically go buy your book.

You are going to be on the NYT best seller list FOR SURE! Congrats! You made it!
Nicole recently posted..Romance Review: 50 Shades of Grey
67 Joanna April 17, 2012 at 5:45 am: Seriously considering uploading it to my Nook right now because I can’t wait two and half more hours for the mail to come. Decisions, decisions…
Joanna recently posted..My kid is being admitted to Childrens Hospital on Monday…so I sent her to school
68 Rebecca April 17, 2012 at 5:48 am: Hooray! I am so so so proud of you! I hope your book is HUGELY successful! You deserve it!
Rebecca recently posted..Thank you Missoula Children’s Theater!
69 SnarkyWriter April 17, 2012 at 5:48 am: Just added it to my Nook wishlist! I will get it . . . SOOOOOON.
70 Chelle April 17, 2012 at 5:49 am: I got the bookplate yesterday. I have to admit that when I saw the Penquin return address, I thought maybe (in a very small portion of my heart that thinks I can write) that one manuscript that never got a response…oh well. Heehee…Can’t wait to get the shipping notice. Cause I got myself a hard copy AND a signed bookplate!
Chelle recently posted..Soon They’ll ALL Be Driving!!!! EEEEKKKK!!!!
71 Christian April 17, 2012 at 5:49 am: I’m already devouring it on my Kindle. Just finished the part with the cow and your arm.
And … is it wrong, that I kinda want a magic squirrel now?
72 Dawn April 17, 2012 at 5:53 am: Got mind via Kindle this morning. After some confusion about my credit card payment. WTF AMAZON! It’s the same card you didn’t have an issue with last week. Several minutes and some harsh language later and BINGO!
73 Red April 17, 2012 at 5:54 am: I’ve been checking my PO Box mail everyday for about two weeks hoping that it would arrive early.
Today, I didn’t check.
I’m gonna leave super early for work tomorrow and hope that somehow, even though it only just came out, that’ll be in my mailbox through some kind of time travel/magic/jetson type travel tube thing, given im on the otherwise of the world.
And now I’ll stop.
74 Michelle April 17, 2012 at 6:01 am: Super exciting! Congratulations!
Michelle recently posted..Pregnancy: It’s Anybody’s Guess
75 Jen April 17, 2012 at 6:04 am: I can’t buy it until this evening but that’s because I’m on a train to NYC to meet you at the Barnes & Noble on E 86th St! It will be worth the wait…
76 Liz D. April 17, 2012 at 6:07 am: Mine was delivered to my kindle this morning. EEEEEEEEEE! And I was really excited a few days ago when I got my book plate. Thanks Jenny!
77 Sandy April 17, 2012 at 6:07 am: Just got the email from Barnes and Noble that it’s ready to download for my NOOK! I pre-ordered and have been waiting ever so patiently! CAN’T WAIT TO GET HOME! CONGRATS!!!!!!
78 Leslie April 17, 2012 at 6:10 am: Congratulations!! Can’t wait to read it!
79 Wombat Central April 17, 2012 at 6:11 am: I <3 you, Jenny Lawson.

And I don't mean that in any kind of awkward, creepy, lecherous or otherwise inappropriate way. I also don't mean that I like you less than the number 3. You just rock.

I'mma head to the book store today and say, "Knock, knock, motherfuckers. Where's Jenny's book?"
Wombat Central recently posted..Movie Monday – While I Was Out Walking
80 jill April 17, 2012 at 6:11 am: Bought your book first thing this morning. I have barely started and am laughing so loud my dog is frightened! So funny and a terrific way to start the day!
81 Romana April 17, 2012 at 6:12 am: Congratulations, Lady, you certainly spent a lifetime earning it
/hugsandtaxidermy
82 Tina April 17, 2012 at 6:17 am: My copy came through iTunes at 11:20pm EST…so much for getting any kind of sleep. I’m half way through this incredibly heart wrenching, hilarious book. My fuckery is seeming oh so boring compared to the fabulous Mz. Lawson. Thank you so much for this labor of love, give Victor a huge hug cause he deserves one as well.
Tina recently posted..T – 4 Days, The Bloggess book is almost here!
83 weezafish April 17, 2012 at 6:18 am: Congratulations, truly. It must feel awesome.
weezafish recently posted..Heard in My House .. Tallen Changed His Mind
84 KandiMonkey April 17, 2012 at 6:19 am: According to UPS, my copy is “out for delivery.” WOOT!
85 Amanda D April 17, 2012 at 6:19 am: Oh the joy this morning while watching my Kindle download your book. I honestly wish I had called in sick to work today so that I can read it all today. Shhh, don’t say anything . . . I’m trying to read as much as I can while at the office today.
86 Katharine Evaul April 17, 2012 at 6:19 am: checked my tracking – my copy is out for delivery!!
87 NewMommyConfessions (@NewMommyConfess) April 17, 2012 at 6:20 am: So happy for you! Congratulations, enjoy it! (and when necessary, take breaks to hide in the bathroom)
NewMommyConfessions (@NewMommyConfess) recently posted..Month of the Military Child
88 Queen of All Things Good April 17, 2012 at 6:24 am: Mine is due today. I’m currently stalking my mailman in anticipation.
Yay you!!!
Queen of All Things Good recently posted..Sarcasm… It’s Served Free With Your Meal
89 Sonja Rois April 17, 2012 at 6:28 am: Amazon has already told me it has been shipped and should be here today or tomorrow. Still haven’t gotten the plate-thingy, but I don’t care as long as my book gets here. Soon!
Sonja Rois recently posted..Just sayin hello!
90 Kathryn Franks @Thrushiebaby April 17, 2012 at 6:28 am: “Kermit the Frog arm/hand wave”
BIG HUGS!!!!!
91 Eva April 17, 2012 at 6:33 am: Just bought the Kindle version and my hard copy is arriving in the mail today!!!
Eva recently posted..This is your life. This is your time.*
92 Alana April 17, 2012 at 6:43 am: I’ve already checked amazon for my delivery date… twice.
Alana recently posted..Work in Progress
93 Nicky April 17, 2012 at 6:44 am: I woke up to an email in my inbox saying that it was available to download. Hooray!
Nicky recently posted..Skies are clearing, storms ahead and behind.
94 Plai_ol_t April 17, 2012 at 6:47 am: hmm would it be OK to take it along to the visitation I have to go to tonight? I mean they did put my B-I-L in his fav jersey so giggling in the corner reading my book should be OK, right?
95 Amy April 17, 2012 at 6:47 am: Just finished it. Awesome! I laughed so hard I CRIED and woke up a random child! And I just can’t wait to torture my honey by reading excerpts. He was (is) a YR too.
Amy recently posted..The Divisible Dog
96 Kim April 17, 2012 at 6:48 am: And…bought! Just sad that I can’t make it into the city to see you tonight!!!

Now I just have to convince my husband that it is perfectly acceptable to read at the zoo today, lol.
97 Kelly April 17, 2012 at 6:49 am: Just downloaded to my Kindle, can’t wait to get started!
98 Kristin April 17, 2012 at 6:50 am: Bookplate is stuck to the back of my Kindle and I await seeing it in my Library! WOOT WOOT! Let the crazy commence!
Kristin recently posted..Another crazy Thursday Night…
99 Shiloh Walker April 17, 2012 at 6:50 am: congrats… that’s the most amazing feeling ever…
Shiloh Walker recently posted..Bound Temptations…
100 Annadanna from Canada April 17, 2012 at 6:51 am: AHHHHHHHHHHH! Jenny! This is all so exciting! I might pass ou
Annadanna from Canada recently posted..A map of my favourite dead person spot
101 Karen F. April 17, 2012 at 6:51 am: So excited! I got my book plate in the mail on Friday and have been dying to get the actual book. Congratulations!
102 Rae April 17, 2012 at 6:51 am: Arg, still waiting for my copy. Hurry up, Amazon!
103 Mel April 17, 2012 at 6:51 am: and the world rejoiced.
104 Shelby April 17, 2012 at 6:52 am: So excited! I pre ordered a LONG time ago and your book
Will be at my door TODAY!!!!
105 Monica April 17, 2012 at 6:52 am: That means mine will arrive today!!!! Then I can put my exceptionally awesome autographed bookplate in it, and I’ll have something to read that will get me through my grueling treadmill time!!! I’m so excited for you! WOOHOOO !!!
Monica recently posted..The Disney Princess Half Marathon Mommy Brain Style (Part 1)
106 Lindsay April 17, 2012 at 6:52 am: Woke up this morning to an email letting me know that my e-copy was downloaded to my Nook while I slept! Heading out on my lunch break to buy hard copies for all of my friends. Congratulations!!
107 Alexandra April 17, 2012 at 6:52 am: Jenny, I hope you read this comment. People Magazine, holy wow.

I was thinking about you since your Amelia post on Oprah’s site.

I was thinking how much you would have missed if you wouldn’t have found that bravery to fight for yourself.

I think of all I’ve missed b/c of my anxiety.

But I’m going to push myself by saying Jenny is my Amelia.

Thank you.

Life, it shouldn’t be missed.
I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
Alexandra recently posted..True Tales of Suburban Living
108 Ellie Di April 17, 2012 at 6:52 am: You look so sweet in that picture. Who the hell IS that lady, and why weren’t you consulted?
Ellie Di recently posted..The Tyranny of 200GB of Music: The 15-Year-Old-Birthday-Party Problem
109 Jennifer April 17, 2012 at 6:53 am: I woke up to a WONDERFUL surprise! My copy arrived sometime in the night to my Kindle. I can barely contain my excitement. Now to try and read at work and NOT get fired….oh whatever, work shmerk.
110 Jessabella April 17, 2012 at 6:53 am: It was like christmas on my kindle this morning! The book was on it!!! Can’t wait to read it! CONGRATS!
111 Lynn April 17, 2012 at 6:53 am: Bookplate is patiently awaiting the Amazon delivery man, though if it shows up faster on my Kindle, I may support the economy and buy it there, too!
You are TRULY, reallysweartogodnoreallyImeanit TRULY an inspiration. BRAVO!!!!!!!
112 Mandy April 17, 2012 at 6:53 am: I pre-ordered it a month ago… I’m reading it right now… at work.. I couldn’t. Wait. So far, it’s FUCKING fabulous. <3
113 CFoxy April 17, 2012 at 6:54 am: What a journey this has been, I got my book plate and am eagerly awaiting my book. Congratulations!!!!
114 me_mumstheword April 17, 2012 at 6:54 am: Mine popped onto my Kindle just after midnight. Happy birthday to me!
115 Karen April 17, 2012 at 6:54 am: Downloading to e-reader, because I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE BOOKSTORE TO OPEN..
116 Marni April 17, 2012 at 6:54 am: Jenny, you deserve this and SO much more. So, so, so proud of you! Congratulations! I predict this will be on the Best Seller list very soon.

Hugs!
Marni recently posted..Have you seen these?
117 Kat April 17, 2012 at 6:54 am: When the door bell on the video went, my dog started barking her head off…so I played it a couple more times just for kicks. Knock Knock Motherfucker!
Kat recently posted..Things I Never Knew I Needed Before I Moved to the UK
118 alaina April 17, 2012 at 6:54 am: Look who’s rubbing elbows with Brangelina on the pages of People. Awesome!
alaina recently posted..Husbands & Dogs.
119 Christy April 17, 2012 at 6:55 am: That is AWESOME! Hurray!!! I got my bookplate the other day too. ::dances around::
Christy recently posted..Shirt of the Now – Friday, 04/13/2012
120 Becky April 17, 2012 at 6:55 am: I’m going to buy my copy this week and put food out for the kids and husband in a giant bowl. They are on their own for chow while I read this.
Becky recently posted..Table Saw 2; Dad 0
121 Chris April 17, 2012 at 6:55 am: Congrats! My wife’s been saying she wants a copy for a while now. I guess it’s time we ordered one.
Chris recently posted..12 days that amaze, Day 12: It’s go time!
122 Sherry Carr-Smith April 17, 2012 at 6:55 am: I’m buying it now!!!!
123 Karen Sanders April 17, 2012 at 6:56 am: Woot Woot! You’re not even close to faking small time anymore!
Karen Sanders recently posted..Jumping (My J installment)
124 Nicol April 17, 2012 at 6:56 am: I woke up at 2:00 am to start reading it. Not sure what that says about me but I’m pretty sure you should take it as a compliment! So far I’ve almost peed my pants 4 times.
125 Jeannine April 17, 2012 at 6:56 am: I was so happy when I got an email from Amazon telling me they had delivered my pre-ordered copy of your book! And then they didn’t send it…. And it was after midnight so I went to sleep but figured out how to manually send it myself this morning. I was cracking up just reading your intro so I’ll have to leave this at home or I will get nothing done at work today. I’m going to buy copies and send them to all my family.
I love you Jen!
126 over the hill mom April 17, 2012 at 6:56 am: Can’t wait to read it. I know it is going to be wonderful! Congrats! Also- I loved the pics of the alligators that you recently got as a gift- they are super duper cute. Congrats again!
127 ML April 17, 2012 at 6:56 am: Soak it up!
ML recently posted..Now Hiring: Freelance Intern
128 Jax April 17, 2012 at 6:57 am: I can’t actually watch that video at work because it’s blocked but I’m sure it’s amazeballs!! WHOOP!!
129 Hope April 17, 2012 at 6:57 am: Congratulations! I am super stoked to get my copy & drink it in…yes of course I will have a vodka tonic with it, or a Captain…oh hell, both! You’re a rockstar, you keep me entertained and for that, I will follow you endlessly!
Hope recently posted..It’s OVER!
130 Dana B April 17, 2012 at 6:59 am: 4 stars in People! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!! AMAZEBALLS! Congrats to you Jenny! Can’t wait to read it.
131 Lissie April 17, 2012 at 6:59 am: I’m waiting for Amazon to get off their butts and ship mine. I’m beyond excited. My signed bookplate arrived last week. I can’t wait to stick it in!! (Did that sound gross?)
Lissie recently posted..Waffles = Rock Star
132 Kat April 17, 2012 at 6:59 am: I’m perched at the door, ever so impatiently, waiting for the delivery man.
133 Cathy April 17, 2012 at 7:00 am: Mine arrived YESTERDAY! It was all I could do NOT to tear into it right away. It’s end-of-the -semester crunch time, so all fun must wait until exams are graded. Phooey.

YAY YOU, BLOGGESS!
134 kimmie April 17, 2012 at 7:00 am: I got my email that says “your order has shipped.” I need to clean my house so I don’t feel so guilty reading it this weekend… or maybe I won’t. I only recently found your blog. So glad I did. You might just make my childhood look normal. Or not. Would be a tough task. At least we’d be kindred spirits and you’d be the funny I wish I’d gained from my childhood.
135 Sarah April 17, 2012 at 7:00 am: I am going crazy waiting for my pre-ordered book to arrive!!!!! So freaking happy for you. I really wish I could be in NY tonight but it just isn’t gonna work out. So much love to you, and much success!! xoxoxo
Sarah recently posted..Open and Close
136 Stacey April 17, 2012 at 7:00 am: Mine is scheduled for delivery today. Look out police officer trying to meet you quota, I am on a mission to get home ASAP after work
137 Andrea April 17, 2012 at 7:00 am: Just bought the nook version, HOLLA!

And FYI, the publisher’s weekly reviewer can suck it!
138 Julie the Wife April 17, 2012 at 7:01 am: Your book is a bestseller BEFORE it is released. You are way past needing us. But we’re here anyway, because you. complete. us. and we are all doing our own personal happy dances for you, in cubicles and kitchens across America. *slow clap*
Julie the Wife recently posted..Glass Half Full, Carton Empty
139 Bon April 17, 2012 at 7:01 am: Super congratulations!
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140 bob April 17, 2012 at 7:02 am: Got the book plate on Saturday, and Amazon just emailed me yesterday to say the book is coming to my house! Thinking of staying home from work till it arrives… THANKS for enriching my life, JL! Love love love.
141 Avitable April 17, 2012 at 7:02 am: I will buy a copy and I will read it in the bathroom, in your honor. So happy for you and proud of you!
Avitable recently posted..The Brave Response of Dan Pearce to “A Teen’s Brave Response to ‘I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay’”.
142 Rach April 17, 2012 at 7:03 am: Finally got off my butt and ordered it, and cannot WAIT to receive it – I’m in Aus, so should arrive in time for my birthday in May. Well done, your writing is a hoot AND passionate, you are worthy of so much praise for even attempting this. As a fellow rheumy, I adore your efforts. xxxx
143 Brenna April 17, 2012 at 7:04 am: Book bomb!!!!! I am totally getting one or two!!
Congrats!
144 Akilah Sakai April 17, 2012 at 7:05 am: Wow! People Magazine. That is pure awesomeness, Jen! A million congrats.
145 HeatherWhoLovesTheBloggess April 17, 2012 at 7:05 am: Powells says it sent mine! I thought of flying down to San Antonio for your booksigning, but then I couldn’t get a flight.
HeatherWhoLovesTheBloggess recently posted..In Which I Am Loved
146 BIQ April 17, 2012 at 7:05 am: OMG I am sooooo excited for you!

I can’t wait for my copy to arrive!
147 aka gringita April 17, 2012 at 7:06 am: Omigosh omigosh. Woke this AM to message from Amazon that my Kindle preorder was fulfilled. LOOKIT THIS, I HAVE IT! So psyched and can’t wait to get home from my stupid job – which I guess did techically allow me to BUY the book so it can’t be all bad – so I can read it!

Have fun at the book signings. Can’t get to NYC today (again with the job) but my thoughts are with you!
aka gringita recently posted..Melancholia
148 Diane April 17, 2012 at 7:07 am: So excited for you! I will always always remember you whenever I hear the phrase, “Knock, knock, Motherfucker.” Be proud! Thanks for sharing your insanity with the world. I have laughed out loud many times due only to you. And I can’t WAIT for my book to come in!!! Congrats, Jenny! (You look SO much sweeter than you write. hahahaha)
149 Devon April 17, 2012 at 7:08 am: Congratulations Jenny!!! I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy! )
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150 sammi April 17, 2012 at 7:09 am: I got my bookplate yesterday and now I’m just waiting to get my book in today so I can stick it in upside down somewhere. I am so excited I can’t sleep and I really need to. I am three days into a depressive phase and looking forward to being furiously happy in short order even if my brain hates me and is a lying bastard. <3
151 Julie April 17, 2012 at 7:09 am: Mine has been pre-ordered for months and Amazon has yet to ship it out… This is ridiculous. The estimated delivery date is between the 20th-23rd. I’m too impatient for all this waiting. I’m an American, damn it. I require instant gratification. I may just give in and order a kindle version, too… We’ll see.
152 Alicea April 17, 2012 at 7:09 am: This must be some fever dream! I just got my email confirmation that your book is on its way to my house! SOOOO excited to review it on my website! D
Alicea recently posted..SAY WHAT?!
153 Em April 17, 2012 at 7:09 am: And my plans for a productive week and weekend just Tanked. Woohoo!
154 Ana April 17, 2012 at 7:10 am: I’m going to be checking the mail daily until I get it. Hopefully it will come today, but I think it might just be shipping today. I’m so happy for you, though! Having a book out is huge. I just wish I could make it to your New York book tour stop. I hope it’s amazing, and I hope you sign a lot of boobs!
155 Patti April 17, 2012 at 7:10 am: This couldn’t happen to a kinder, more generous person. Enjoy every minute of this success — we are all so happy for you!
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156 Steph April 17, 2012 at 7:10 am: It was in Entertainment Weekly too! So excited to get my copy!!! Congrats
157 Jane April 17, 2012 at 7:10 am: This is just so cool for you!!!
158 MIGurl April 17, 2012 at 7:10 am: Mine is on the truck…out for delivery! Woohoooo!
159 Nicole Mullen April 17, 2012 at 7:10 am: Whoop! Cant wait until my kindle arrives, first book going on it is yours!!
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160 Jenny April 17, 2012 at 7:10 am: Well, if we _are_ all part of your coma dream, may I say with all sincerity that I hope you never wake up! At least, not until I’ve finished your book.

…and seen all of the Hunger Games Movies.

…and been to Madagascar

…and had a light lunch with Felicia Day

…so yeah, don’t wake up.
161 SoExcited! April 17, 2012 at 7:11 am: Your book arrived on my Kindle this morning!! I left my Kindle at home on purpose since I’m at work and I’m supposed to be working on reports & stuff. Good intentions and all that, but then I remembered that I can just click over to Amazon and read it from there….
162 Josh April 17, 2012 at 7:11 am: I had to put the book down to go to bed since I work, but I woke the dog up a couple times. Unlocked for me at 1234 am, and I went to sleep at 3. I had just made it to the proposal when I fell asleep.

It’s been great.
163 Wendy April 17, 2012 at 7:12 am: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, congratulations!!!! My bookplate came last week (I did a little happy dance and immediately sent a photo of it – the bookplate, not the happy dance – to my boyfriend) and my book will be here soooooooooooooon! Go you!!
Wendy recently posted..Just no.
164 Adrian Jones April 17, 2012 at 7:13 am: Just cancelled my amazon.co.uk order for the paperback, which wouldn’t arrive for another month!

Ordered the Kindle version instead, which is now sitting on my desk.
165 Katie April 17, 2012 at 7:13 am: Gonna definitely have to buy this for my kindle. <3
166 Stephanie Precourt (@babysteph) April 17, 2012 at 7:13 am: I can’t wait for my copy to arrive. I hope you are loving every second of this.

Love,
Steph
Stephanie Precourt (@babysteph) recently posted..Early bird
167 Lisa Litviak April 17, 2012 at 7:14 am: GOT THE EMAIL YESTERDAY FROM BARNES AND NOBLE THAT IT WAS AVAILABLE IN MY NOOK LIBRARY FOR DOWNLOAD! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I KNOW WHAT I’M READING ON THE PLANE TONIGHT!
168 Shirley April 17, 2012 at 7:15 am: Can hardly wait for my copy to arrive. Pre-ordered it ages ago. Amazing that you are having so much success just by being you. Congrats! Awoooooooooo!
169 Sherry April 17, 2012 at 7:17 am: I’m loitering near the mailbox all day while trying to decide which will go best with your book…red or white because I’m definitely hiding in my room with a glass (bottle) of wine and your book tonight!
170 Stephi April 17, 2012 at 7:17 am: I cant wait to get home and get the best birthday present ever!!!
171 Alison April 17, 2012 at 7:19 am: Amazon says mine will be here between Friday and Tuesday.
172 John Lewis April 17, 2012 at 7:19 am: My copy will be waiting for me when I get home. Congratulations, Jenny. I’m so happy for you.
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173 monkeyboymama April 17, 2012 at 7:19 am: I got the notice yesterday that Amazon was shipping my copy! CAN.NOT.WAIT only I don’t think mine will end up on the doorstep quite like yours did…..KNOCK, KNOCK!!!!! ROFLMAO!!!
174 Melissa B April 17, 2012 at 7:19 am: I’m so pumped! My copy shipped this morning!

My mom, sister and I can’t wait. We would have bought three copies but we are kinda poor.

But this one copy will be LOVED. Not like that…okay, maybe like that. Just a little.
175 Kam April 17, 2012 at 7:20 am: This book cannot arrive at my door soon enough!!!!!! I am so excited for you!!! And I received my bookplate on Saturday!!!!!
176 Ashley April 17, 2012 at 7:21 am: So excited for you! I’m buying two. You are an inspiration, Jenny.
177 Nemukins April 17, 2012 at 7:21 am: Yay, grats Jenny! It got a good review in People, too (apparently)!

I have my Kindle edition as on 12:15 this morning, and I’m waiting for my physical copy to arrive today, I’m way excited.
178 elly April 17, 2012 at 7:21 am: i cannot wait until i get it when i come home!! i am so reading it today.
179 tamaratattles April 17, 2012 at 7:22 am: So excited and Happy for YOU! Perhaps even enough to leave the house and go to the bookstore! I like to pick “my copy” from the selection on the actual bookshelf.
tamaratattles recently posted..Nene Says She is Sick of "the Gay People"
180 Jen April 17, 2012 at 7:23 am: I eagerly downloaded my pre-ordered copy to my Kindle first thing this morning. (Never did figure out how to get my free bookplate, what a bummer.) I’ve read a couple of chapters already — while sitting out on my screen porch — and I think my neighbors are wondering why I’m laughing hysterically when I’m clearly alone.
181 Amanda April 17, 2012 at 7:23 am: Woohoo!!! I got it last night and I can’t wait to start reading it!
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182 Cara(Eli) April 17, 2012 at 7:23 am: Yay! *does happy dance* That means that in about 6 weeks’ time it’ll be in my mail box way up here in my land of faraway(I know this isn’t a real word, but it ought to be, cause it sort of says it all, right?) That is when I’ll be doing the furiously happy dance
Cara(Eli) recently posted..Bad hair day
183 Cris April 17, 2012 at 7:23 am: At 8:40 last night someone pounded on my door. It was a delivery guy and he handed me your book. It was so weird (the delivery not the book). Then, once I started reading, I was delighted to find the book was just as full of delightful weirdness as the late-night delivery!
Cris recently posted..In Which I Remember to Think First
184 anna @ HaHas for HooHas April 17, 2012 at 7:23 am: Do I need to be willing to also say “lady garden” on CNN in order to fulfill my dream of being published?

Congrats, that’s super duper freakin’ awesome.
anna @ HaHas for HooHas recently posted..Coincidence? I think not …
185 Becky April 17, 2012 at 7:23 am: Heartfelt congratulations, Jenny! Well deserved.
186 Brandina April 17, 2012 at 7:23 am: So so happy for you! And for me! Cuz I preordered and it is supposed to arrive today! And my sister totally loves me more because I bought her your book for her birthday! And, we’re both coming to see you in Fairview for the boob signing!
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187 Jeni April 17, 2012 at 7:25 am: This post just made me cry. I just feel so proud of you. I know that’s weird and stalker-ish, but this is AWESOMESAUCE!
188 Ami April 17, 2012 at 7:25 am: Got my copy yesterday (and my book plate a few days ago). Started it yesterday. Awesome. So far, only one question: Did you dad actually have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, or did he just eat too much roadkill?
189 Lori April 17, 2012 at 7:25 am: Woot! Woot! Congratulations! I just bought and downloaded to my Kindle. I can’t wait to start reading!
190 Lisa Marie Mary April 17, 2012 at 7:27 am: Jenny, you are just the BOMB! And I am so excited for you! Congratulations!!!!
Lisa Marie Mary recently posted..Learn How To Have A Truly Successful Blog
191 Meghan Terry April 17, 2012 at 7:27 am: Giant shit-eating grin came across my face this morning when I saw the Amazon preorder receipt show up in my inbox!! Clearing my afternoon so that I can consume this all in one day!
192 Erica S April 17, 2012 at 7:28 am: I already devoured it. Finished on Monday My husband kept wondering why I kept laughing, he was trying to figure out what the hell I was reading.

So I read him parts, and HE died laughing.
Planning on buying a copy for a wedding gift.

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!
193 Anna April 17, 2012 at 7:28 am: I KNOW! I got the notice this morning letting me know my nook book has arrived!! Now I just have to plow through my not-Bloggess-book and move on!
194 Michaela April 17, 2012 at 7:28 am: Congratulations! I was late to work because I couldn’t stop reading it this morning. Thanks for that, I think.
So wish I could come to a signing. Meanwhile, I have my signed note (thanks) and I’ll just have to tape it to my kindle. Enjoy this moment, you deserve it!!!
195 Trish April 17, 2012 at 7:30 am: Amazon says my copy should be here today. I can’t wait!!!
196 a April 17, 2012 at 7:32 am: So, if I were to order this, do you think the delivery guy would ring my doorbell and say “knock knock, motherfucker”? You should get your own army of delivery people to do just that. But, I might ask my librarian to say it when I check the book out…
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197 a April 17, 2012 at 7:32 am: Also, congratulations! Can’t wait to see it hit the NYT Bestseller list!
a recently posted..First Captcha, now WordPress
198 Dawn April 17, 2012 at 7:32 am: I can’t wait!!!!!
199 Susan April 17, 2012 at 7:33 am: My phone chirped in the middle of the night to let me know my Amazon order had posted – so awesome when i remembered what the hell that was about. Turned on the light and read ’til daylight.
200 MainlineMom April 17, 2012 at 7:33 am: So very very excited for you, and looking forward to reading this! Love you Jenny!
MainlineMom recently posted..10 People Who Inspired Me to Keep Running
201 Allison Dahle April 17, 2012 at 7:34 am: I asked for this book for my Birthday and it should be coming in any day. Thanks for sharing.
202 Colleen April 17, 2012 at 7:35 am: Woke up this morning to find an email from BN…. Who doesn’t love waking up to an auto download of the Blogess on their Nook? Congrats Jenny and thanks for all of the laughs!
203 Gina April 17, 2012 at 7:35 am: Go Bloggess! Big congrats – can’t wait to listen to the audio version (I think I saw something about an audio version anyway – if not – there should be one!)
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204 Allyn April 17, 2012 at 7:35 am: One of my (many) life plans is to write really cheesy raunchy romance novels, but I’d have to do it under a pseudonym. Way to write a book that you want to claim as your own!
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205 TessaG April 17, 2012 at 7:36 am: I was so excited this morning as your where waiting in my kindle to be downloaded!! Cannot wait to read it!
206 Meredyth April 17, 2012 at 7:36 am: My Grama is sending mine as soon as it arrives at her house (though I told her to read it first). This means it should arrive just in time for my finals to be over. Reading it right away + not failing my stupid expensive classes= awesome sauce.
207 Pamela April 17, 2012 at 7:36 am: Am I the only one who got an empty envelope from Penguin Publishing that should have contained a nameplate? Probably, sounds about like my luck.
208 Heather April 17, 2012 at 7:37 am: I can’t wait for it to knock, knock at my door!
209 Mom101 April 17, 2012 at 7:39 am: You had me at page 1.
Go Jenny! World domination next (if the Zombies don’t interfere. Fucking zombies.”
210 Dead Trees and Silver Screens April 17, 2012 at 7:39 am: Yay! I’m going to buy a copy later this afternoon and feature it on my book blog. You should do a book blog hop!
211 Brenna April 17, 2012 at 7:40 am: I pre-ordered a copy – hope it comes today!!!

I never did order a book plate, but I’d like one. Is it too late for that?
Brenna recently posted..Listen at your own risk
212 Caitlin G33kling April 17, 2012 at 7:41 am: I GOT MY SIGNED BOOKPLATE!!!! Woooooo hooooo! I can’t wait for the actual book. I may just hyperventilate and pass out. I’m so happy for you Jenny!

PS I loved the CNN interview and how clueless the interviewer was about what you do.
213 Stephanie April 17, 2012 at 7:41 am: I cannot wait until my book arrives! I’ve lost count how many times I’ve looked at the tracking information, silently willing it to update. You deserve all the recognition – you are amazing!
Stephanie recently posted..In the ring with Marie Barone
214 Helen April 17, 2012 at 7:41 am: So awesome! Congratulations!!
Helen recently posted..Please, No More Arthur.
215 Laurie a/k/a Sivyaleah April 17, 2012 at 7:43 am: It’s on it’s way and coming with me on my birthday cruise to Bermuda. Weeeeee!
Congrats!
216 Kristin April 17, 2012 at 7:44 am: I thought we were doing it for the puppies?

Congrats!!! I can’t wait for my copy!!!!!
217 Linda April 17, 2012 at 7:45 am: ALready on my Nook this morning! YAY!!!
218 Ann April 17, 2012 at 7:46 am: My husband received his bookplate in the mail the other day and was absolutely giddy over it. I think he’s been hanging out at home so he doesn’t miss the actual delivery of the book! We are both huge fans, but I think YOU are his celebrity crush! Thank you for adding your unique brand of humor to our lives. Keep on living the life!
219 Tina Hilliard April 17, 2012 at 7:47 am: I preordered my Kindle version and will down load it to my kindle tonight. I have already plannned on reading it next weekend whilst sitting beside the pool at at the hotel in Las Vegas, sipping some exotic drink from a pineapple. Cheers
Tina Hilliard recently posted..The Happiest Place on Earth…
220 Jillian April 17, 2012 at 7:47 am: I’m chomping at the bit for my copy to HURRY UP ALREADY!!!
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221 Amy April 17, 2012 at 7:48 am: I started reading my Kindle version this morning on the subway and almost missed my stop. Which is particularly ridiculous since it’s GRAND CENTRAL STATION. So wonderful! I may have to stop even pretending to work today so I can keep reading.

Congratulations on publication day!
Amy recently posted..Mujadarah, Slap Chop, and a question for you
222 Stacy April 17, 2012 at 7:48 am: Already reading my Kindle version! I love it and you are awesome. But we knew that. Congratulations!

Stacy
223 Sue April 17, 2012 at 7:49 am: Congratulations! I’m expecting my copy to be waiting by my front door when I get home from work. I will lovingly affix the signed book plate, and clasp the book to my bosom, sighing happily.
Sue recently posted..Newest stained glass project
224 Jim W. April 17, 2012 at 7:49 am: You are living the DREAM!! Congratulations on all of it.
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225 Trabb's Boy April 17, 2012 at 7:49 am: I woke up to a “shipped” email from Indigo Book. Soooooo excited and so excited for you!!!!
226 Stacy April 17, 2012 at 7:49 am: Already reading my Kindle version! I love it and you are awesome. But we knew that. Congratulations!

Stacy
227 Toni K April 17, 2012 at 7:50 am: Damn I wish I had a Kindle! Waiting. So happy for you!!!
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228 Nadine Buchanan April 17, 2012 at 7:51 am: Awesome work Jenny! I have so thoroughly enjoyed it and will be telling my friends to buy copies anywhere they can! I am doing my Canadian duty!
229 Rea April 17, 2012 at 7:52 am: Awww….I’m so happy this day is finally here! I’m waiting for my book to arrive and then quickly packing it in my carry on for my flight to the states next month! It’s been my sole ray of light at the end of this dark tunnel that has been my life the past 2 months (my life’s not bad, but getting ready to move a family plus 2 cats from Japan to Maryland is overwhelming). This book is my reward for not going to jail!!
Congrats on the big day!!
Rea recently posted..Vulnerability overload….you’ve been warned!
230 Legally Delish April 17, 2012 at 7:54 am: Congratulations!!!! Cannot WAIT for Thursday night in LA!
231 Melissa April 17, 2012 at 7:54 am: Mine is being delivered by Amazon today, if it doesn’t get there I’m taking someone’s head off at Amazon. BTW, offer still stands, let me know if you want to go to Disney. We’ll go on a slow day!
232 Rachel April 17, 2012 at 7:55 am: Can’t wait!! Mine is on its way! See ya Friday night, near San Francisco! I’ll also be bringing my stolen bible from the hotel in which I’ll be staying!!
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233 The Rebel Chick April 17, 2012 at 7:59 am: Woo hoo! I am so excited to finally get your book! Congrats!
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234 Zippy April 17, 2012 at 7:59 am: OK – I am not waiting for the hard copy to come to my door. I’m going to order it for my Kindle RIGHT NOW. It’s probably just as well anyway. The hard copy is going to my mom, and I’d hate to have jam, ketchup and coffee stains all over it before she got it.

Congratulations, Jenny! I am so happy for you!
Zippy recently posted..Now the media tells me I’m sick of bacon. And am possibly a man.
235 Ali April 17, 2012 at 8:02 am: It is wonderful to see that you’re being acknowledged for being you.

It gives me hope that one day I may do the same.

Congrats, Jenny. You deserve to be furiously happy. Whether it’s on CNN or in a bathroom.
Ali recently posted..Today has been an unwelcome rollercoaster ride.
236 Holly Folly April 17, 2012 at 8:02 am: Well, I’m not sure about the coma thing, but I would recommend not heading towards any lights.
Holly Folly recently posted..I Just Murdered an Entire Civilization
237 Kerry :) April 17, 2012 at 8:04 am: It was on my Kindle when I woke up today!!! Happy Happy Happy!!! Cant wait! … I didnt get my bookplate… or an invisible book plate… and your not coming anywhere close enough to me to sign my Hoo Hahs….. Im thinking of throwing a tea party and breaking up with you when you dont show up…
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238 Sarah April 17, 2012 at 8:06 am: Delivery status……out for delivery 6:20am………hopefully will have it by noon….
239 Melinda J April 17, 2012 at 8:08 am: Congratulations!!! I’m so excited for you!!!!!!!!!
240 Mandy S April 17, 2012 at 8:10 am: I GOT MY COPY YESTERDAY!! Started reading it this morning before work and have already laughed out loud! I can’t wait to get home and finish reading and am really wondering why I didn’t bring it to work with me and just read all day long…I guess people would ask questions if I was laughing to myself all day.
241 Naked Girl in a Dress April 17, 2012 at 8:11 am: I am promoting the hell out of you, including your exclusive “interview” with me today.

http://nakedgirlinadress.com/5915/an-exclusive-interview-with-the-bloggess/
Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted..An Exclusive Interview with The Bloggess
242 Super Earthling April 17, 2012 at 8:13 am: How exciting, Jenny! Fabulous review in People, perfect book trailer, and even before I read it, I know it’s a dynamite book. Can’t wait to get it!

There’s no better medicine for RA or depression than sheer, blissful, utterly happy exhilaration!

–Susan
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243 Marla Schulman April 17, 2012 at 8:17 am: Congratulations Jenny…how exciting!!!
244 Mrs. Monologues April 17, 2012 at 8:18 am: Look at you in People. I also heard you were in O magazine as well. Heading out to buy your book today. Congratulations! You are a inspiration to bloggers everywhere.
Mrs. Monologues recently posted..Giveaway! Win a $25 Gift Card To Sassy Lemonade
245 Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food April 17, 2012 at 8:18 am: It downloaded to my Kindle this morning, which is a damn good thing because I just finished all three Hunger Games books and was in need of something to read. I owe an apology to my fellow riders of the Red Line train this morning – I had trouble stifling my giggles and now they all think I’m weird. Also? I have a photo of my sister and me as little tots, posing next to my dad and a strung-up deer he shot and had “cleaned”. He must have been so proud. *gag*
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246 Jill P April 17, 2012 at 8:20 am: WooHoo!! Congratulations! You deserve all the success! I can’t wait for the UPS man to get here with my copy. There will be no productivity at work today!
247 Amanda April 17, 2012 at 8:21 am: I can’t wait to get it on my kindle!
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248 Renee April 17, 2012 at 8:21 am: Can’t wait to get mine!!!! CONGRATS!
249 Keely April 17, 2012 at 8:23 am: Just sent it to my Kindle. Unfortunately my kindle is at home. I think I should leave work soon.

Congrats!!
Keely recently posted..I’m not sure what charity this 5k benefits, but I’m thinking it has something to do with brains.
250 misskitti April 17, 2012 at 8:23 am: Hurray! Mine downloaded this morning. I can’t wait to get started!
251 parmeisan April 17, 2012 at 8:24 am: Thought you’d like to know: my audiobook arrived in my mailbox in Canada yesterday.

Loving it!
252 Deanna April 17, 2012 at 8:25 am: Congratulations! Can’t wait to read it!
253 Sherree April 17, 2012 at 8:33 am: Woo hoo Jenny! Congrat’s! My bookplate arrived but the book won’t be here until Friday and People won’t be out until Thursday here. It’s a conspiracy I tell you! Screw it, I’m downloading the digital version today, I can’t wait! So wish I could get to one of your book signings. You, totally rock it all.
254 CV April 17, 2012 at 8:34 am: Awesome! Congrats!
CV recently posted..Click and Ask For Forgiveness Later
255 Robin April 17, 2012 at 8:37 am: You must be SO psyched!!! Can wait for my copy to arrive… WHY ISN’T IT HERE YET??????
Robin recently posted..Who CARES If They’re Comfortable???
256 Condo Blues April 17, 2012 at 8:38 am: Congratulations Jenny!

Good luck on your book tour. I hope you have everything in place that will help you personally during your tour.
Condo Blues recently posted..How to Make a Photo Canvas that Won’t Put You in the Poorhouse
257 Tara April 17, 2012 at 8:38 am: Just got back from the book store! I had to go to two to get it!
258 Lisa S. April 17, 2012 at 8:39 am: I already read an advance copy thanks to a bookstore-workin’ friend, but I’m still gonna go out at lunch today and buy the real deal. Whoo-hoo! Congrats on the excess of awesomeness!
259 The Extrovert April 17, 2012 at 8:39 am: Can I have it the giant cardboard display when your tour is done? There are so many wonderfully naughty things I’d do to that mouse.

Like cut him out and chase my cats around. Why? What did you think I meant. Sickos, all of you. Cheese and crackers people!!!
The Extrovert recently posted..Why can’t adulthood be more like when I was a kid?
260 Krystal April 17, 2012 at 8:40 am: You’re also in this month’s “O” Magazine (Oprah)! My copy of the book gets here today! Eeeeeek! Congratulations!
261 Erika April 17, 2012 at 8:40 am: Im so excited to get back from classes and open the copy thats sitting on my porch! Congrats and thank you for making me laugh so hard that I cry and don’t get any work done!
262 Crystal April 17, 2012 at 8:40 am: Really annoyed at Amazon…I preordered in February and they are saying my book has not shipped yet and should be expected anytime next week between Monday and Friday. Why did I pre-order it? Tempted to cancel the order and buy the kindle version, but then what will I do with my awesome autographed name plate?
263 Ms. Plaid Dressy Pants April 17, 2012 at 8:41 am: Congrats!!! I can’t even begin to imagine the feelings of elation after waiting so long…. it’s finally here!!!!!!!
Ms. Plaid Dressy Pants recently posted..Is EVERYONE a moron?
264 Allison April 17, 2012 at 8:42 am: Downloaded it as soon as it was available…iBooks beat out Amazon; those morons still had it for pre-order! I stayed up too late reading and hyperventilating. Your book almost caused an asthma attack. Good job!
265 ValerieGirl April 17, 2012 at 8:43 am: I was SOOOOOO EXCITED to get my downloard today! Congratulations Jenny! Ur pure awesomeness! So believe it gurl!
266 Morgan April 17, 2012 at 8:47 am: Mine just showed up at my front door! (I’m pretty sure I heard the Amazon delivery guy said, “Knock, Knock, Motherfucker.” under his breath as he dropped it off!)
Morgan recently posted..Mr. Smith
267 nim April 17, 2012 at 8:48 am: Your pic, name, and whole shootin’ match is above and way bigger than Glenn Close, _but still on the same page_. Chew on that for a little bit.

Glad you’re enjoying the fun!!
268 sherri April 17, 2012 at 8:49 am: I was taking a “break” at work, and got busted because I couldn’t stop laughing. I’m like 10 pages in, and about to tell my boss that I don’t care it’s tax day, I have WAY more important things to do than file tax returns! Love it so far, and if I can just make it through today, I bet I finish it before bed tonight.
269 Jen April 17, 2012 at 8:50 am: I got my shipping notice from Amazon yesterday, mine will be here today!! I see a very unproductive afternoon in my future
270 Tressa April 17, 2012 at 8:55 am: I’m having a crappy depression day, but smiled when I saw the email from Yahoo saying they sent your book to my Kindle. Can’t wait for the work day to end!
271 Brenda April 17, 2012 at 8:56 am: Yay! Just purchased it for my Nook! Can’t wait to start reading!
272 unmitigated me April 17, 2012 at 8:57 am: Dear Jenny,
I think I just strained a muscle on my right side because there are plumbers at my house, and I was trying to laugh quietly at Stanley, the Magical Talking Squirrel chapter. Now my problem is this: I really want to read that chapter to my husband, but he will only indulge me like that, if I first indulge his desire to get some bookie…and I am afraid it’s going to hurt because of the strained muscle. Now what?

P.S. You and your book are the most awesome person/thing combination ever.
unmitigated me recently posted..Reality
273 TheFeelGoodDepot April 17, 2012 at 8:58 am: Congrats to you. Nice to see you make some change for being totally AWESOME!! I look forward to getting a copy and helping you accumulate some wealth. lol
TheFeelGoodDepot recently posted..DEJA MOOO – Understanding life The Feel Good Depot Way
274 Jackie April 17, 2012 at 8:59 am: I downloaded it onto my Kindle Fire @ work and now I can’t stop reading it. I’ve got the kindle hidden under a mound of paperwork I’m suppose to be doing because that’s what I’m paid to do but I can’t stop reading your book because it’s hysterical and makes my jacked-up childhood seem so freaking normal.
Jackie recently posted..The Color Purple – Popsicle Toes and Fingers
275 Chuck Baudelaire April 17, 2012 at 9:00 am: Congratulations! Hope to meet you in Dallas. I’ll be the sincerely supportive and completely envious wannabe writer wearing the hat…
Chuck Baudelaire recently posted..I Can’t Believe This Makes Me a "Liberal"
276 Megan April 17, 2012 at 9:00 am: Finally, the day I dubbed Best Book Day Ever has arrived. Soon I will have yours and the newest volume of Walking Dead. See, when my husband preordered your book for me he also purchased Walking Dead Volume 15 except he didn’t check the shipping option that sends items as they are ready and instead left the group my items into as few packages as possible option checked which resulted in us having to wait for your book before getting Walking Dead. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy and so disappointed at the same time regarding the purchase of books. Now that your book is officially out, I’m just happy because both will be waiting at home when I get off work. Best book day ever!
Megan recently posted..And Then a Space Became Useful
277 Carol April 17, 2012 at 9:01 am: I’m so excited for you!
Congratulations!!
It’s not a dream, it’s a dream come true, there’s a big difference there.
Love the knock knock video.

P.S.: Can’t wait to get my copy, which according to Amazon, should be here next week.
Carol recently posted..Because you don’t have to burn books if the world starts to fill up with nonreaders, nonlearners, nonknowers
278 Elizabeth Emily April 17, 2012 at 9:04 am: Whoohoo! I have it! That’s the beauty of a Kindle
279 noob April 17, 2012 at 9:04 am: I am SO excited to pick up your book today from my local Target, using a gift card (since my employment situation has been SO horrendous that I don’t even have pocket money to spend on myself and YOU)… is there any way to get a signed bookplate, with evidence that I own the book “now”?

You inspire me, Jenny. I refer ALL of my Facebook friends to you on a constant basis. I can’t wait for everyone in the world to know you and love you, but from afar, so they don’t kick your anxiety disorder into gear or anything.
280 Bodaciousboomer April 17, 2012 at 9:07 am: Congrats on the great review- another jewel in your crown. Have fun on tour and take lotsa photos.
Bodaciousboomer recently posted..Apparently dumbassery knows no bounds…
281 Megan April 17, 2012 at 9:11 am: Congratulations! I recently finished the book (I won a proof copy from your publisher), and I loved it. You owe me 3.2 pairs of new underwear, btw (from peeing in them, obviously).

First stop, People Magazine. Next stop, NYT Bestseller List – Nonfiction!
Megan recently posted..Help!
282 Valerie April 17, 2012 at 9:13 am: So exciting! Congratulations! You deserve all this and more – your writing is some of the funniest I’ve ever read. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: thank you for sharing your special brand of weirdness with the rest of us. I can always count on you to put a smile on my face!
283 Terri in SF April 17, 2012 at 9:17 am: Wow. I hope the book I ordered a THOUSAND YEARS AGO isn’t as big as the one at your door. Otherwise, my postal person will go postal and also get a hernia. I’m SO excited to get this book. Congratulations on all the great press on your 10 year effort. You are amazeballs!
284 Amy W April 17, 2012 at 9:18 am: I purchased and it should be waiting on my Kindle when I get home! Excited to read!
285 Rachel April 17, 2012 at 9:18 am: OMG! I received your signiture just the other day and I AM SO EXCITED TO GET YOUR BOOK.
Rachel recently posted..The People of Walmart
286 Elsa April 17, 2012 at 9:19 am: I just got my confirmation that the book is shipping!!!

YEA!! Congrats!
287 Myra April 17, 2012 at 9:19 am: AAAAARRRRGGGGG! Mine won’t be here until Friday, April 20th! Because I live in Bumfuck, Egypt!!!!! I ordered a “real” book instead of the Nook version, so I could put my bookplate in it. I was so excited when I got that in the mail last week:) Can’t wait!
288 Megan T April 17, 2012 at 9:21 am: Vodka snow cones!!! Yummmmmm
Got my copy through iBooks and can’t wait to start reading. I will see you in Miami and my best friends will be at the B&N in NYC tonight, so you will definitely NOT be at the table alone
Congratulations and thank you!
289 Kiki April 17, 2012 at 9:23 am: YOU BROKE THE TOP 10 ON AMAZON’S HUMOR LIST!
290 Geek goddess April 17, 2012 at 9:24 am: I’m so reading this on my Kindle on ,y drive home tonight.

Err, or after I get home.
291 Pish Posh April 17, 2012 at 9:26 am: Very excited for you! You’re living the dream!! Can’t wait to read it. Really hope you enjoy your tour – HAVE FUN!!
Pish Posh recently posted..O is for Onomatopoeia
292 Cassandra April 17, 2012 at 9:28 am: YAY! I got my book today from Amazon

Also already go my lovely signed bookplate – Thanks Jenny!… Dumb question, where’s the best place to put a bookplate? Inside front cover? Back Cover? Middle of page 52?
293 Lila April 17, 2012 at 9:30 am: I got a receipt from Amazon today! I better go turn the WiFi on my Kindle!!!
294 Kerry :) April 17, 2012 at 9:32 am: Mr. Amazing just told me i was so excited it was like a holiday… seriously?? Since he isnt as excited as I am… Im not buying him a copy…. Im going to buy a copy for someone who would appreciate it on my site
Kerry recently posted..… Its Kinda like a Holiday… Its Bloggess Day!
295 M April 17, 2012 at 9:32 am: That would be surreal. I would suggest just start wearing sunglasses in all your pics, you know, because I’ve heard fame’s a mess. Congrats!
M recently posted..#047 — Conversation with My Kid: Killer Sandwiches
296 JustJess April 17, 2012 at 9:34 am: Amazon has told me it should arrive today. . . My book plate arrived last week which has only made the anticipation that more intense.
297 LInda Perez April 17, 2012 at 9:37 am: So happy for you, beautiful!!!!
298 Rebeccah April 17, 2012 at 9:39 am: I second every nice thing that everyone else here has already said. Job well done!
Rebeccah recently posted..The Vacation Where We Did Nothing
299 SaraEllenAwesome April 17, 2012 at 9:39 am: I CAN’T WAIT TO GET IT IN THE MAIL!!!!!! My mail lady is about to have a stalker.
SaraEllenAwesome recently posted..And this is why I need adult supervision
300 SaraEllenAwesome April 17, 2012 at 9:41 am: Oh, and you should have warned me that the first video started with a door bell….because my dogs just flipped the EFF out and ran to the door frantically.
SaraEllenAwesome recently posted..And this is why I need adult supervision
301 Seana April 17, 2012 at 9:42 am: I am literally on my way out the door RIGHT NOW to buy every copy in sight!! Or, just one, both because I’m poor and because I want the book burners to have at least a few available to them… if it’s gonna fuel a fire, IT’LL BE A DAMN BIG FIRE.
302 Banana Stickers April 17, 2012 at 9:42 am: I can’t remember the last time I have been this excited to see the mail man. Seriously, he’s a dick. And he smells funny, like whiskey and cheese before noon, funny.
Anyways, HELL YES on being in People!! That must put the surr in surreal. Or something like that.
Banana Stickers recently posted..Reasons Why My Cat Megatron Is An Asshole
303 Donna April 17, 2012 at 9:43 am: I started reading this last night before bed. When I got to the list of things your father said versus what they actually meant I tried to read it to my husband and literally could not even speak – I was laughing so hard I was crying! And those turkeys….OMG!
304 Doug Biggs April 17, 2012 at 9:43 am: So I have already bought the kindle version and the audio version. I guess I should buy the paper version as well. Congrats on your success so well deserved, and profound gratitude for the way you have touched so many lives!
305 Heather April 17, 2012 at 9:45 am: My amazon pre-order just arrived. Jenny, IT IS BEAUTIFUL. You should be so proud. I can’t wait to read it!
306 Kris April 17, 2012 at 9:49 am: Received the email late last night from Amazon that mine shipped. This must all be so surreal!!
307 Mandi April 17, 2012 at 9:50 am: Holy fuck! Congratulations!! You deserve all the success in the world!
308 Koren April 17, 2012 at 9:51 am: I preordered the Kindle edition, so when I turned on my Kindle this morning…there it was! Like Santa had delivered it overnight! And since my son is home sick from school, I’m home from work and get to start reading. Thank you 102 degree fever!
309 Kristin D April 17, 2012 at 9:52 am: Got my book today! Found my signed bookplate the other day (I’m pretty sure my husband was hiding it from me…) But I can’t post the photo on your fb page I made a Jean Louise bookmark!
310 Sarcasm in Action April 17, 2012 at 10:02 am: Yippee and congrats!
Can’t wait until my pre-ordered copies finally ship out to me!
Sarcasm in Action recently posted..50 Shades of Sexually Frustrated. YES I’M READING THESE BOOKS.
311 EM April 17, 2012 at 10:02 am: I want to get to NYC today, but I can’t make it. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are the most awesomesauce in the whole universe and I can’t wait for my book to arrive today. Thanks for being you!
312 Kristen @ The Chronicles of Dutch April 17, 2012 at 10:02 am: Such an inspiration! Buying my copy today!
Kristen @ The Chronicles of Dutch recently posted..No Light Sockets Were Harmed In This Hair Experiment
313 James April 17, 2012 at 10:04 am: I got your book in the mail today! I’m at work, but I read the introduction really quickly – LOVE LOVE LOVE how you so accurately and cheekily remind people of the process of hilarity and offense. Congratulations!
314 Christa April 17, 2012 at 10:06 am: I have it loaded on my Kindle app for iPad…can’t wait to start reading! Except I have a Masters paper to write about e-books and publishers…..so wait I must. ARGHHHHH!!!!!
315 Kira April 17, 2012 at 10:09 am: I was Sooooooo excited when the ebook magically appeared on my Kindle at midnight!!!
316 Sarah April 17, 2012 at 10:09 am: Im currently stalking the front desk at work waiting for the UPS guy to show and give me my copy. Im so excited. I might have mentioned it to my husband about 7 times already.
317 Laura April 17, 2012 at 10:15 am: I actually stayed up late just so my Kindle could download the book the instant it became available. It was at 12:06 a.m., so my congrats to Amazon for being so quick — they clearly knew how many of us there are who were about to chew our nails off waiting for this HILARIOUS and WONDERFUL book! And now back to reading — I mean, what’s important?

And I put my book plate on the back of my Kindle for now since I didn’t get a hard copy. Yet. I’m sure it’ll unpeel nicely when the time comes.
318 Ga April 17, 2012 at 10:16 am: Hahahaha I love their description of you ” She was sort of unstable but in a “At least I remember how pants work”, kind of way. We all do so love you Jenny. Congrats and I know you will be #1 on the best sellers list this week for sure.
319 Kait April 17, 2012 at 10:17 am: Checking online now to see if my local bookstore has it, and I am going to get it. I like to buy local which is why I did not preorder online.
By the by, that inset of you is adorable.
320 stephanie April 17, 2012 at 10:19 am: Got my bookplate and am impatiently awaiting the book to be shipped from Amazon. If I knew where their distribution center was, I’d go pick it up myself! So excited. Congrats Jenny!
321 Dandesun April 17, 2012 at 10:19 am: It is now on my Kindle.
322 Hermi April 17, 2012 at 10:21 am: I got my book plate in the mail yesterday. The book is supposed to arrive today. Can’t wait!!!
323 DirtyKSmama - Nikki April 17, 2012 at 10:25 am: UPS guy just delivered it from amazon! YES!!!!
Bookplate in, time to read. Furiously happy!
324 trisha April 17, 2012 at 10:33 am: Funny — I didn’t recognize your picture. Then I realized it’s because you’re not in curlers.
Congrats!
325 Marisa April 17, 2012 at 10:33 am: I was very very excited when it magically appeared on my Kindle – yay! And I was planning to save it until I really needed cheering up…. and as it turns out, this morning I got turned down for a job I thought was in the bag. So I’m ready to read it now – cheering up, here I come! (PS Thanks.)
326 Queen of the Weezils April 17, 2012 at 10:34 am: I got a nice surprise on my Kindle this morning! I read the first couple of chapters while waiting in line for lunch.

First up, let me congratulate whatever person (or possibly AI) that translated text to Kindle so that the footnotes were clickable. That is super awesome. When I read a footnote heavy book without clickable notes, I have to page forward to the note and then painsakingly page back, which is so annoying that I don’t do it. So I usually just read them stacked at the end of the chapter or book and wonder what in hell they related to.

But most of all, I found what I think is a typo. But it is so unintentionally hilarious that it is better mistyped. (Or more likely, misconverted to Kindle). And if you did this on purpose, then I salute your clever wordplay.

In I Was A Three Year Old Arsonist, you talk about being in line at the liquor store and wanting to talk about childhoods. Here’s the quote: “Childhood trauma seems like the natural choice, since it’s the reason why most us are in line there to be gin with.” Be gin? Not begin? I think this is a conversion issue with the Kindle because I’ve seen some of these word breaks before, and since “be” and “gin” are both words it doesn’t show up in a spelling check. But since it’s about being in line at the liquor store, and you just mentioned gin a couple pages back, it is all the more funny. The line itself is funny, but the typo is even funnier.

Either it’s unintended hilarity or intentional wordplay, but either way my fellow lunch-line mates now think I’m weird. Apparantly, busting a gut laughing over seemingly nothing is frowned upon. Who knew? Thanks, Bloggess!
327 Shauna Joski April 17, 2012 at 10:35 am: I got the people magazine before I checked my email with your updated blog post. I felt ridiculously cool when I got to the book section. I even said “RIGHT ON, I know about this kick-ass book already People Magazine!” I feel I’m at the point where I will start walking around bragging about you being in People Magazine as if I know you personally.
328 Plano Mom April 17, 2012 at 10:38 am: I had to work really late last night and I was busily working on my last email for the night, when I received a confirmation of a purchase on Amazon. I thought rather irritatedly that it was probably my Kindle ordering Omaha Steaks again. I was DELIGHTED to find out it was your book, ready and waiting for me on my Kindle! I didn’t get to sleep for a couple hours later, and I cannot wait until I can’t quit this work stuff and read some more.
329 Mary ELlen April 17, 2012 at 10:40 am: Bought it, for Minnesota and Target. Taking it on a quilt retreat, should be fun!
330 Laurie Ann April 17, 2012 at 10:42 am: You’re featured in the Oprah Book Club email I just received. http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Beat-Anxiety-Jenny-Lawson
Laurie Ann recently posted..Sad Laurie is Sad, but Happy Chair is Happy
331 Linda April 17, 2012 at 10:47 am: My copy is sitting on a mail truck somewhere in town enjoying a tour of the city. Sad thing is the mail isn’t delivered to my house until 5pm. Wonder if I can bribe the postal people into telling me which mail truck it’s on? I’d use threats, but they don’t call it “going postal” for nothing. Cupcakes? Alcohol? Hmm.
332 dumb{squared} April 17, 2012 at 10:48 am: I bought it for America. And for the Philippines. Because you really need to conquer the Asian market.

Also, please see if your people can get you into Star or the Inquirer. If it’s not in either of those publications, my parents won’t buy it.

Congrats.
dumb{squared} recently posted..I realized the other night that alcohol gives me super powers
333 Rhiannon April 17, 2012 at 10:49 am: My copy has arrived, and I’m so excited!
334 Victoria April 17, 2012 at 10:55 am: I cannot wait for my copy to come! Thank you Jenny!
335 Jenn Greenleaf April 17, 2012 at 10:57 am: Congratulations!!! I’m so excited for you!!!!
Jenn Greenleaf recently posted..More Than Just a Vacation
336 Heather aka Sugar Free April 17, 2012 at 10:57 am: My Kindle downloaded it this morning! Just in time for my bus ride to work where I sometimes encounter creepy hobo types who want to talk to me. Reading your book should send a clear message that I’m fucking busy here and NO I don’t want to talk about your gin shortage problems!!!

LOVING it so far!!!
Heather aka Sugar Free recently posted..I Survived
337 Anonymouse April 17, 2012 at 10:58 am: Amazon UK says it may get to me on May 17th.
What the actual FUCK, Amazon UK. This is goddamn bullshit.
Anonymouse recently posted..The Dam
338 ED April 17, 2012 at 11:00 am: My copy just arrived in the mail! My productivity level just plummeted to zero. Goodbye research paper.
339 Annie April 17, 2012 at 11:02 am: Congratulations! I’m only a few chapters in but loving it already.
340 Kim April 17, 2012 at 11:10 am: I’m so excited for you! And I’m even more excited for when my copy comes in!
Kim recently posted..Not What I Had in Mind
341 Carole April 17, 2012 at 11:16 am: Amazon is torturing the early pre-orderers, evidently. Curse you Amazon!
I squeed like teenage fangirl when I got the bookplate Saturday.
Hamlet appears to be dotting the “j”, and it’s totally awesome.
342 zombie rotten mcdonald April 17, 2012 at 11:17 am: Boswell books just called and says my copy is in. Got my bookplate yesterday, so I am all set.

Also, I sent the word up the chain of command to lay off The Bloggess in the Zompocalypse.

Unless, of course, you are badmouthing zombies in the book, in which case all bets are off.
zombie rotten mcdonald recently posted..Flying Colours
343 Your Best friend Karan April 17, 2012 at 11:19 am: Amazon just emailed me that my copy is on its way…and when it arrives I’ll introduce it to your signature label and they will be best friends too.
Your Best friend Karan recently posted..2011 be gone
344 altalinda April 17, 2012 at 11:20 am: I got an excited call this morning from my partner, announcing that her final surprise Xmas present for me had arrived — your book! Then I got to surprise her by telling her that I’d preordered a copy for myself. So now we have 2. Who to gift the magical extra copy to?…..
345 tokenblogger April 17, 2012 at 11:24 am: Jenny Lawson has so arrived!
tokenblogger recently posted..Who knew housekeeping…
346 Ciarra April 17, 2012 at 11:26 am: I am so excited to see you on Friday in SF!
347 brigitta April 17, 2012 at 11:30 am: I started reading it this morning and LOVE it!!! I guess I just have to be careful where I am reading or people are going to wonder why I am laughing hysterically.
348 Becky (Ms Batman) April 17, 2012 at 11:31 am: So very excited for you, but now the rest of the world can know what the internet already knew… Your awesomeness knows no bounds. You ROCK!!!
Congratulations!
Becky (Ms Batman) recently posted..I Hope for All Our Sakes the State of Florida Gets it Right
349 Dana the Biped April 17, 2012 at 11:32 am: Yay! Congratulations!!
Dana the Biped recently posted..The Swiss: No Longer Neutral
350 Jessie April 17, 2012 at 11:34 am: I attempted to buy it at Target, but there was just a big empty shelf where they used to be. Apparently, I’m not the only one around here who wanted it. Bloody hell.
Jessie recently posted..My one monthaversary and my blessed crumb snatchers
351 Lisa April 17, 2012 at 11:43 am: Just ordered my copy. I can’t wait till it gets here!
352 Yvonne - paralegal April 17, 2012 at 11:43 am: Thank you for reminding me – I just ordered a copy. 2 day delivery, since I am impatient – ever since you let us read an excerpt. Now, start working on the sequel – as I know we will all want more, once we finish reading.
353 Melodie April 17, 2012 at 11:43 am: Congratulations!!!

Super Duper Congratulations!!

No really,

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melodie recently posted..My Beautiful Daughter
354 LV Manda April 17, 2012 at 11:44 am: Omg Omg Omg!!! My copy is “Out for Delivery” right now!!! The end of my work day CANNOT come soon enough!!! I’ve had the shittiest last two days, and I’m so happy to finally have huge laughs to look forward to. Thank you so much Jenny for opening up and being you. You’re very much appreciated.
355 Jaime April 17, 2012 at 11:45 am: does happy dance around the living room….. can’t wait to read it on my kindle!
Jaime recently posted..how to fake being productive
356 The Pear Lady April 17, 2012 at 11:47 am: My library had best hurry. Else I’ll be the last in the know. Will. Not.do! hehe
Congrats on the article…next stop, talk shows! (Oh please, do @craigyferg and give the robot’s voice my number!
The Pear Lady recently posted..Swag Monday!
357 Christina April 17, 2012 at 11:47 am: Super STOKED for your book to arrived at home. I ready to read!!! CONGRATS!!
358 Ronnie Douglas April 17, 2012 at 11:48 am: I have this story that I tell about my childhood and living in the closet (not the metaphorical closet I mean a real closet with no windows). I was however allowed to paint it any color I wanted (pink, in case you were curious).

I use this to explain to people that I am not normal and I have good reasons.

I just read about your magical squirrel. After I stopped laughing I revisited my pink closet. Now I have always known that my childhood, while not typical, wasn’t that bad but it has now been put into perspective.

Thank you!
359 nycwhofan April 17, 2012 at 11:52 am: For first time in ages, was glad to wake up at 1:30 AM with insomnia – your book was FINALLY in my kindle. Read from 1:30 to 4:30 and finished it off during lunch, when the hardcover arrived at work. I have 4 more being sent to people who could use a good laugh. LOVE IT. LOVE BLOG. Thank you so much for all you do to spread furious happiness.
If I ever wake up fully, I’ll try to get up to your signing and buy another one or two at B&N.
360 Lindsey April 17, 2012 at 11:54 am: I ordered my Kindle edition as soon as I woke up today! Already giggling out loud when I should be working..oops. Congratulations!
361 Erin April 17, 2012 at 11:54 am: Ahhhhhhh! So exciting! And the pic in People is absolutely beautiful!!!! CONGRATS!
362 The Pliers April 17, 2012 at 11:56 am: Hey, Jenny!

Big fat huge gigantic high five to you on getting the book out, in People, in the waiting rooms of family therapists everywhere, on the lips of the reading public! I could not be more thoroughly delighted for you.

Amitiés,
The Pliers recently posted.."Glimpses into Open Windows of Opportunity…"
363 The Grouchy Mom April 17, 2012 at 11:58 am: So excited for you….and for me! I can’t wait for my book to come from Amazon!
The Grouchy Mom recently posted..Remember Lorena Bobbitt?
364 The Grouchy Mom April 17, 2012 at 11:58 am: So excited for you….and for me! I can’t wait for my book to come from Amazon!
The Grouchy Mom recently posted..Remember Lorena Bobbitt?
365 Just Shireen April 17, 2012 at 12:00 pm: Happy book day! SO excited for you!
Just Shireen recently posted..Reset Button
366 Susan April 17, 2012 at 12:01 pm: Just arrived in my library today! I’ve cataloged it and it is now shelved with the new books under B LAWSON. Yay!
367 Sweety Darlin April 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm: This morning when I woke at 5 AM to make a good breakfast for my daughter taking end of course exams I made it a point to turn on my kindle and force it to download the book I have been waiting for! Then I get to work with the full intention of reading the book and these MORONS expect me to actually WORK!

WTF IDIOTS! I have to read the book of the most functionally dysfunctional awesome person on the freaking planet!

TOOLS!

I love you Jenny! I promise to start reading as soon as these idiots leave me alone! I have end put an electronic bookmark in my book about Henry the 8th because you are so very much cooler!
Sweety Darlin recently posted..Choose your Clothes WISELY!
368 Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm: Woo hoo!! Hope my copy via amazon arrives soon!
Holly from 300 Pounds Down recently posted..Crack the Confetti Eggs!
369 Renee April 17, 2012 at 12:12 pm: Huzzah! Right, I’m off to camp out by the letterbox till mine arrives.
Renee recently posted..A Very Dangerous Spoon
370 Alison Lee April 17, 2012 at 12:16 pm: Do you ever worry that you talk about your book too much? Because you shouldn’t. Worry I mean. Because none of us can get enough of it. Seriously. I love hearing about it and your success makes me incredibly happy and your book is hilarious. I was just thinking that maybe the thought might cross your mind, “am I talking about this book too much” and then answer is “No” and also “I want you to sign my boobs so come to Atlanta.”

Maybe just one boob.

Love it!

Alison
Alison Lee recently posted..Mad Men Mondays: "Signal 30"
371 Rachel April 17, 2012 at 12:16 pm: I’m soooo torn. I want the hardback, but then I have to wait. Whereas, I can just download it to my Nook in two seconds.

Decisions, decisions…
Rachel recently posted..They’re like the mafia… only worse
372 Patricia April 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm: Congrats! I hope to be able to get a copy soon.
373 Paola April 17, 2012 at 12:25 pm: Yay! Totally going to get my copy on Amazon now before it sells out! Congrats Jenny! You are amazing!
Paola recently posted..A Decade of H2OPE
374 Mindy H. April 17, 2012 at 12:32 pm: I’m anxiously awaiting mine! It won’t get here til next week though, stupid APO address. I might have to get it on Kindle too!
375 Mindy H. April 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm: Sweet! You got mentioned as the same page as Michael Weatherly! He’s hot, your book is hot… It’s like a full page of hotness!
Mindy H. recently posted..Join the Navy and See the World… or Not
376 Simone April 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm: This is the best coma I’ve ever been in.

Congrats, Jenny!
Simone recently posted..Hummingbirds
377 Noelle N April 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm: Happy release day! UPS should be dropping my copy off any time today. Can’t wait to read it!
378 Red April 17, 2012 at 12:48 pm: I wouldn’t ever admit this out loud, however for you my dear Ms. Lawson, I will endeavour – I screamed like a child when I saw my book plate came in the mail.

What do you suppose will happen when the actual book arrives?
-red
Red recently posted..The splinter in my fingertips
379 Jenna April 17, 2012 at 12:57 pm: I am so excited to read it! The book just arrived at the perfect time when I am twitching with nervousness, need a distraction, and have read all my other favorite books 86 times so they no longer distract me well. You are my hero!
380 ReneeMK April 17, 2012 at 12:58 pm: I downloaded my Nook pre-ordered copy at 1am to get reading!
381 Kathy Couchon April 17, 2012 at 1:00 pm: OMG, your book has me in tears (the good kind). I never heard of Wall Texas, and I have lived in this great state my whole life. In fact, I once had to take a trip to San Angelo for my daughter’s Volleyball State play offs, and when folks asked where the hell that was, I would say if you picked the middle of nowhere in Texas, that’s where it would be. I now stand corrected, it is most definitely Wall, Tx

This explains a lot, I think I get you now

Love your blog and your BOOK!!!
Regards,
Kathy
Still trying to figure out what to do with that signed book sticker you sent, I use my iPad to read books. Will have to think of clever uses….
382 Risley April 17, 2012 at 1:01 pm: Favorite line so far (I just started the book): Unless they’re gay. They have gun armories.
I am probably going to get fired for reading this on my Kindle at work. I can’t wait to get the book is it true if you lick the pages there are drugs in some sections? Just something I heard, or just made up.
383 Sarah April 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm: Good God Jenny! I just spent 5 min calming my dog the frick down cause he heard the door bell and went APE-SHIT. Sheesh! Warn a girl.
384 Michelle April 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm: I can’t wait to read it!!!!
385 Liz April 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm: Thank you for writing a book. I had to deal with a bunch of people today who, for lack of a better term, can only be described as douche canoes. To reward myself for not ending up in jail for homicide, I am spending the afternoon reading your book and drinking beer.
386 Brian April 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm: My kindle version was available yesterday. I began reading last night. Laughing so much doesn’t help me go to sleep. May have to start reading during work. If I get fired its totally your fault.
387 Jenn April 17, 2012 at 1:48 pm: Going to stop at the Targets today. I’m going to buy your book, and sneak copies of it in other peoples’ carts. (because that is the right thing to do.)
Jenn recently posted..Stuff.
388 Jennifer April 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm: I got my book! I got my book! The UPS guy just came! I need to go read it… bye!
389 Beth April 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm: Dear Amazon.com-
Thank you for delivering Jenny Lawson’s new book today. Next time I order a book, could ya not fuck up the dust cover before I have even opened it up? It’s called bubble wrap you jackasses. This book is going to be a collectors item- I have a bookplate that no else does, some Penguin guys sent it to me . My copy was exclusively signed by Jenny Lawson herself….in blood.

OK Amazon, I guess I will just “…Pretend This Never Happened.”

Hugs & stuff,
Beth
390 Carrie April 17, 2012 at 2:14 pm: Just got an email from Amazon telling me mine is on the way (I might have peed a little!) and Saturday I received my signature plate! SOOOO EXCITED!
391 Stephanie M April 17, 2012 at 2:18 pm: The UPS man just brought me my copy. I met him at the door, I was so excited (for the book, not the UPS guy)! Can’t wait to get started reading.
392 Bucky April 17, 2012 at 2:24 pm: I just got an email saying that my copy has been shipped! Congratulations, and I am looking forward to reading it!
393 Danae (The Busty Baker) April 17, 2012 at 2:30 pm: So excited for you! I work at B&N and was so excited to put it out this morning. As soon as I can come up with an appropriate, work friendly blurb, it’s going directly on my Staff Reccomendation. I was lucky enough to get an advanced reader copy and, oh man. I laughed. I cried (from laughing). I thought I was going to choke to death (from laughing). I still can’t think of the phrase “deer sweater” without losing it, and the squirrel puppets at work are all named Stanley now.
394 Heather April 17, 2012 at 2:41 pm: So the other day I checked my mail and had this little envelope with a picture of a penguin on it. I recognized it as a publisher’s logo and for a second thought, “Holy shit, I’ve been discovered!” Because we all know how publishers like to browse the internet looking for blogs that never get updated, then offer that author a book deal. So I opened the envelope, and there was the tiniest slip of paper inside that might have been a multi-thousand dollar advance. But it wasn’t. “Hmm, I thought, why did J. Lawson sign a sticker with Shakespearean mouse on it and send it to my house?” And then I remembered and rejoiced. Way better than a check for $10,000. Seriously.

The end.
Heather recently posted..Well
395 Mary April 17, 2012 at 2:42 pm: Woot, I got mine, very exciting!
http://missemmamm.tumblr.com/post/21280417434/left-my-psych-appt-hightailed-it-to-target-to
Mary recently posted..Book Review: American Rose: A Nation Laid Bare: The Life and Times of Gypsy Rose Lee
396 Amy B April 17, 2012 at 2:58 pm: I totally got my copy today!! My co-worker is soooo jealous!
397 Erlinda the whatever April 17, 2012 at 2:59 pm: I GOT IT, I GOT IT, AND YES I AM YELLING!!!! Sending husband off to work and curling up with my book!
398 Dawn Elliott April 17, 2012 at 3:15 pm: got mine today!!!!
399 nicole April 17, 2012 at 3:29 pm: I am so stopping after work to get it. For Canada. Can’t wait!! screw going to the gym – this is so much better!
400 Shop with Me Mama April 17, 2012 at 3:47 pm: I am so happy for you! How very exciting!!!!!!! Can’t wait to get my copy
Shop with Me Mama recently posted..Cool Gel Solutions: Coolerest Sleep Pad (Review And A Giveaway)
401 Norway April 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm: I literally bought it at midnight tonight on my Nook and already have three of my friends wanting to read it. I was getting a lot of strange looks, because apparently most people DON’T giggle near-constantly during math class. Who knew?
402 Katie April 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm: I’ve never been happier to live with my UPS guy! He just told me he delivered it at home!!! YAY!!!
403 Kiki April 17, 2012 at 4:53 pm: SHAKES FIST AT INTERNET GODS!!!

Super happy for you but not Amazon. So excited to get home only to find out Amazon JUST SHIPPED MY ORDER TODAY!

PS. Kick some book tour ass
404 Nanci April 17, 2012 at 4:58 pm: TWO copies on my doorstep, PLUS the audio book — my sister-in-law bought one for me, also. Can’t wait to read it.
405 Brownie April 17, 2012 at 5:16 pm: Got my bookplate, waiting for arrival of book, love you to death. But only in LA are they charging twenty bucks to come see you. I gotta get out of this place…
406 Maria April 17, 2012 at 5:24 pm: My copy came today I am soooo excited!!!!
407 Tim April 17, 2012 at 5:28 pm: If this is a coma dream, then many of us are inexplicably in the same coma. On behalf of the others, we respectfully request you not come out of it, lest we be stuck here by ourselves with one less witty voice to help us through.
408 Morgan DeVoe April 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm: Got it on my kindle yesterday at the stroke of east coast midnight!
Have since had Kindle stolen by mother.

Will think of the proper place to put my signed bookplate next. <3 You're 'mazing.

Also! TO ANYONE READING THIS! WHAT IS AN APPROPRIATE GIFT FOR MY FATHER as a thank you for… Well. Never doing any of the things in this book? Appreciate that they shaped you but our car hit a cat once when I was fifteen and I cried for a day i think… Everything… You wrote about in here would have ruined me.
409 Joules April 17, 2012 at 5:58 pm: Yeah-YUH!
Unfortunately I am not bright enough to know that pre-ordering means they SHIP it on the release date. Three.More.Days.
Joules recently posted..Free To Be Three
410 Jo April 17, 2012 at 6:24 pm: DUDE! Just finished your book and it was completely. Made. Of. Awesome. Hillariousness! Laughed my butt off! In public even! Your writing is a perfect trifecta of funny, fabulous and tucked up; in the best possible interpretation of that left handed compliment Thank you!
411 kshender April 17, 2012 at 6:42 pm: Just got notice from Amazon.com that my book has shipped… whoot! I will be the coolest kid in this hick town…
412 Julie April 17, 2012 at 6:45 pm: I have only just finished the introduction and I’m already crying from laughing and realized that if I read this on the train ride to work tomorrow I will probably be taken away in a straight jacket. Totally worth it though, plus more quiet time for reading the book!
413 debra b April 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm: Just got an email from Amazon my book has been shipped should have it this week!
414 Holly Waterfall April 17, 2012 at 7:20 pm: I’m so f-n mad and pissed and bummed and depressed and any more adjectives you all can think of to add to this. I went to Target today to buy the book and I couldn’t find it anywhere and there was no one to ask either. I guess it was Karma for not ordering from you in the first place Jenny. I’m sorry. Anyway, I also had a chance to go to B&N but I decided Sunday (not remembering the book was out on Tuesday until yesterday) that I was not going to go to the event (not related to your book unfortunately). Anyway, to make a long post shorter, I am still feeling crappy because I had a crappy day AND I didn’t get to buy your book. But you have saved the day as usual Jenny because when I came here to post all that I saw the boobie mushroom post and that was so funny it cheered me right up. Thank you Jenny. Thank you for continuing to do an awesome job of making me smile even when you are not really here but on tour. Would you consider coming to PA?
415 Amanda April 17, 2012 at 7:23 pm: Holy moly! That is so exciting! Congratulations, Jenny! You have the world by its (taxidermied) balls!
Amanda recently posted..wisdom from the dinner table.
416 Jessica April 17, 2012 at 7:30 pm: It’s amazing. You’re amazing! I received my notecard yesterday, and the book today! I can’t wait to be exhausted and mindless tomorrow at work because I spent all night reading your book.
417 Rebecca April 17, 2012 at 7:32 pm: PURCHASED! Congrats!
418 caroline April 17, 2012 at 7:52 pm: bought my copy at 8am this morning and i can’t put it down!
419 Cheryl April 17, 2012 at 8:10 pm: Loving the book so far! I am way past Snausages. Although, oddly now I feel like I want a snack…
420 Mary N. April 17, 2012 at 8:20 pm: Your book sat for about an hour in its neat Amazon packaging before I realized it was probably YOUR BOOK waiting for me. 7 hours and 120 pages in, I have to tell you that my hubby asked me to go to another room because my laughing was distracting him. You are hilarious, this book will be gifted to many people in my life. Just a little thanks for being awesome.

P.S. Please come to Denver on a book tour, I will be there to embarrass people through my devotion to your hilarity.
421 Colleen April 17, 2012 at 8:26 pm: I’m only seven pages in, and I’m already cracking up. Well done!
(My only real goal for the night is to NOT keep myself up all night reading. No offense, but I only slept for about 2 hours yesterday.)
All bets are off tomorrow night, though!
422 Amy April 17, 2012 at 8:27 pm: You should have a copy of your book at the book signings for all your fans to sign for you. Like comments, but in terrible handwriting.
423 Katy April 17, 2012 at 8:31 pm: Aw, we’ll miss you when you wake up from your coma, too.

But seriously, congrats!
Katy recently posted..Horror Episode Review: The River, Episode 8
424 Hamlets mistress April 17, 2012 at 8:32 pm: Reading it right now. Well right now I’m reading this but before and after this I’m reading it.
Hamlets mistress recently posted..Zumba and Chubby Checker and The Big Bang
425 Carin April 17, 2012 at 8:33 pm: I was very excited today to power up my Kindle so I could receive your book! Of course, I’m at a hotel for a conference (remember how you scheduled your NY book tour date purposefully so that I couldn’t attend?!) so I had to wait until the end of the day to read it. But then I took my Kindle to the hotel gym, figuring at least it would help me get through my torturous half hour on the bike. My first emotion whilst reading your book was shame, as I laughed inappropriately loud in this public place and may have spit on the machine in the process while an elderly man (in white shorts and knee high socks) scowled at me. My second emotion was sadness as I realized my bike ride was coming to an end and I would have to put the book away for at least 2 minutes while I returned to my room. Kudos to you, as it is the first time in history that anyone was sad to see their stationary bike ride come to an end, and you should totally put that factoid in the sequel. I will accept either an autographed copy of said sequel or US $1Million as fair compensation for my contribution.
426 Jennifer April 17, 2012 at 8:36 pm: You’re becoming super famous, which is awesome because you’re hilarious. I hope Book People has some copies left when I go by to buy mine. Prolly not going to the book signing though, I suspect it will extremely crowded and crowds freak me out. But I’ll be there in spirit wishing you well.
427 kent duffey April 17, 2012 at 8:42 pm: Got mine today! Can’t wait to read!
428 April April 17, 2012 at 9:25 pm: I’ve been reading it all night and I keep getting looks from my husband every time I literally laugh out loud, he has now told me to put it down after laughing so hard I keep waking him up. Hilarious!!! So worth the wait!
429 Christa April 17, 2012 at 9:30 pm: I only just started reading your book, but it so hilarious! Hope you are having fun on the book tour! Thanks for the laughs!
430 Kim April 17, 2012 at 10:12 pm: You are a rock star! Wish I could get up to corte madera so you could sign my boobs!
Kim recently posted..WooHoo! Check me Out!
431 DEEDEE April 17, 2012 at 10:37 pm: I GOT YOUR BOOK IN THE MAIL TODAY!
I was so surprised, I let out a little giggle!
I have pretty much read the entire thing already. It’s awesome.
The chapter about the beyonce chicken made me laugh so hard I drooled on myself. True story.

Well played, Jenny.
=)
432 Jeff Preuss April 17, 2012 at 10:51 pm: Totally pre-ordered a copy for me and for my lovely ex-Houstonite friend Ellen who also loves critters and dressed-up dead critters. (Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you Houston people?) Didn’t tell her I was sending it neither. Got a text when she got home and found your book as a surprise on her doorstep. There were happy noises in text followed by movies of her petting a baby squirrel. A BABY SQUIRREL.

Oh, wait. What? Book? Oh, yes. I found the dedication K-Mart story to be exceptionally poignant. I cried.

I also cackled aloud to the first two chapters (well, the second chapter and that first one that didn’t really count, I guess), prompting husband to ask, “What’s so funny?” I would read the passages.

“Oh. I don’t get her. She’s not that funny.”

I would establish a rule that husbands just don’t get it (lumping Derek and Victor together into the case study group that therefore proves the rule for ALL husbands) except then I remember that I am Derek’s husband…and that’s when my argument falls apart.

Anyhoo. I am SO happy this book is here, and I’ve already read way more of it than that Palahniuk thing I started two years ago. I would take this on my roadtrip to Denver but a) I’m apparently driving the first leg and 2) I would throw up all over our friend’s gigantic truck I get so carsick. (Don’t worry — I’d hold the book high enough to avoid vom.)

Oh, and the tour totally needs to move inward. Apparently, I need more roadtrips, but Dallas is the closest and that’s still like 10-11 hours. What about Des Moines? Omaha? Tulsa? I think there’s a nice book section of the Wal-Mart in El Dorado, Kansas that I could make it to while dropping in to pick up bait.
Jeff Preuss recently posted..Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art night
433 neona April 17, 2012 at 11:22 pm: So happy for you hon- you must be exploding on the inside! (Ok, if it was me, I wouldn’t just be exploding on the inside, but, whatever).

Take a deep breath, hold it for a second….and then totally freaking REVEL in the awesomeness of your big day!
434 Karen Peterson April 17, 2012 at 11:37 pm: I downloaded the book from Barnes and Noble at 8am this morning and have about 80 pages left. After having to work all day and sit through a meeting. Seriously can’t put it down. And I’ve already talked three people into buying it. It’s completely awesome.
Karen Peterson recently posted..Orange Groves
435 LynnDee April 18, 2012 at 12:10 am: Of course it did. Like why would you doubt that? ps. love you, kinda drunking right now.
LynnDee recently posted..A Birthday Post
436 Rain April 18, 2012 at 12:20 am: Well my copy arrived today and I wish I could say I love it but, my teenager snatched it out of my hands and has been reading it. So I will say, instead, that I am sure I WILL love it. What I for sure love is the fact that my teen, who has been a little depressed and kind of in a bad place for the last week or two, has spent the last two hours laughing out loud with tears running down her face (seriously, she almost just threw up a little bit laughing). I haven’t heard her laugh like this in, gosh, I don’t even know how long. Ages. So I don’t even care what’s in the pages, just, thanks for that. Thanks for the laughing. I’m so grateful. <3
Rain recently posted..Sturm und drang, some drama, and Affordable Health Care.
437 Ashley Stratton April 18, 2012 at 12:20 am: I pre-ordered the hard copy and just bought the Kindle version because it’s taking too long for the book to arrive. Yes, I love you that much. SQUEEEE!!
Ashley Stratton recently posted..SnarkleyStreet: @chemgirljaime LOL! Sold. Just bought the kindle version. #itstrueloveiswear
438 Gigi April 18, 2012 at 12:43 am: Sooo I totally just got your book & I’m going to read it aloud to my family. And by that I mean I will wear a cape, reading very loudly to my dog whilst my boyfriend tries to ignore me, in vain, in his computer room. While I prance and vehemently about the living room. It. Will. Be. GLORIOUS!

Cyber hugs (which now a-days might mean I just raped you- sorry.)
439 Wine is Wonderful April 18, 2012 at 2:06 am: Hi Jen,

So I picked up a few copies on Amazon, one for me, one for mum, one for a friend, but then my partner split up with me; so now I have several copies of your book in transit to my exes house. I’m really hoping that he doesn’t set fire to the package, I think that there should be some sort of insurance policy on Amazon for that, ‘act of vengeful ex,’ it could cover ‘act of vomit-y elderly cat’ as well, because I think that he would think it was creepy if I camped out on his front porch for a week with a fire extinguisher, and you just can’t stop 16 year old cat from eating grass.

Thanks for being so fantastically fabulous, you give this fellow anxiety-sufferer hope and giggles. xo
440 Tom April 18, 2012 at 3:14 am: I asked my wife if I should send a copy to my mother. She said, “God, no. She’s old. She might die.” So, Amazon one click. Done.
Tom recently posted..Valencia Oranges
441 Tristi April 18, 2012 at 5:44 am: I got mine yesterday and I was so excited I just couldn’t contain myself. Read the first 5 chapters and it of coarse was hysterical. I would have ready more but I have a business and 4 children. Just so you know I have not had time to read a book in years so that says something right there. There was no signature plate thingy but I will forgive you this time Ha ha. Congrats to you and thank you for doing what you do. It helps me get through the day
442 Mike April 18, 2012 at 7:54 am: My copy landed yesterday. Awesome! Just a few pages in and I love it. Great stuff, thank you.
443 KD Easley April 18, 2012 at 8:09 am: Loved the book. Can’t wait to read it again.

PS. I still think we might be related.
PPS. Can’t wait for book two
444 Diane April 18, 2012 at 8:35 am: My copy was waiting for me at home. HILARIOUS! What a brazen bee-otch you are… out there being yourself. GOOD FOR YOU, JENNY! Loving this and so appreciate the chance to laugh so much before bedtime… and any other time I pick it up. Yay!!
445 Caliea April 18, 2012 at 9:59 am: You’re #1 on Amazon’s Bestseller’s Humor list!! GRATS!!!!!!!!!!!
446 Caliea April 18, 2012 at 10:02 am: Wait… You’re #4 too. How strange. Apparently it picks up the different formats as different books. Which means if you add them together, you’re WAY out front of everyone else

And you’re #24 on the overall Best Sellers.

and it’s just dawned on me that if it was MY book, i’d be haunting the bestseller’s lists and wouldn’t need anyone telling me in the blog comments. So I’ll hush now

Enjoy the wild ride that is your life.
447 Karin K April 18, 2012 at 10:55 am: First of all: Four stars from People? You. Have. Arrived. Just please never become such a huge celebrity that they do a feature on you and then two issues later, we have to read reader’s letters about it. Those are perhaps the most disturbing glimpses into the psyches of the most banal beings on the planet. These people actually take the time to write things like, “I have always loved Melissa Gilbert and knowing how her fond memories of Michael Landon have helped her through tough itmes, I can now die in peace.”

Second: My book is currently in transit, specifically in Jessup, Maryland. Perhaps you passed it in the airport. Try to add some podunk places to your book tour so some of us who don’t live in the big city can come gape at you!
448 emma April 18, 2012 at 11:19 am: yayyayayayayayayayayayyayayayyyyyy congratulations so happy so happy happy day happy life you are amazing thank you for everything.
449 Kate April 18, 2012 at 11:27 am: Love the book! Will recommend it to everyone I know!!!!!
450 Robert K. Blechman April 18, 2012 at 11:37 am: Too much humor writing talent in one Barnes & Noble events room! Great to finally meet you this evening at the book signing. Hilarious story about an Ex-Lax overdose.
Here is our picture:
http://executiveseverance.blogspot.com/2012/04/too-much-humor-writing-talent-in-one.html
Robert K. Blechman recently posted..Why is This So Hard for Publishers to Understand?
451 Laura April 18, 2012 at 11:40 am: OH HOLY SHIT!!!

So I am halfway through your book (which I received yesterday morning) and just got to the OD’d on laxatives story… I was snorting, tears rolling down my cheeks, and nearly peed. You really need to warn people before those ones!! Well done, Jenny, I can’t wait to finish the rest of the book (probably tonight). It’s full of awesome!
452 Dave Gibson April 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm: Okay, so you totally don’t know me, and you will likely never get a chance to read this comment because you’re super busy and this is like the bajillionth comment on this post alone, and well, the whole thing may seem kinda odd. As an aside, I accidentally just typed “busty” instead of busy. I have no idea if you fit that description or not, and I really don’t wanna creep you out so I’ll just leave it alone. Except to say that having read another recent post, I DO know that your yard has a totally nice mushroom rack.

In any event, I just wanted to drop by to let you know that I’ve just received my copy of your book and I am very excited about the whole thing. Before even reading a page, I am all at once excited for you and proud of you and happy for you and I am so very much looking forward to finding out just how screwed up you really are.

Because even though it’s been 10+ years of a lot of hell to get you to this point, and you have all kinds of terrifying experiences coming up with book tour and media stuff, you totally fucking did this. You did it. And dammit, it serves as some kind of example that I might be able to get off my ass and do it too. So thanks, Jenny. Seriously, thank you.
453 SB April 18, 2012 at 12:19 pm: I’m waiting impatiently for my book to arrive. I got my bookplate already and it was the most amazing thing ever to arrive in the mail. I wish I could have made it to NY to catch you on your book tour!
SB recently posted..Theatre Review: Fiddler on the Roof
454 Susan D. April 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm: Got home late last night and had your book waiting for me at the door! Would not allow myself to read more than the first few pages because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop and would be up all night reading it. Jenny, you seriously missed a joint marketing/packaging opportunity. This book REALLY should have come packaged with a pack of adult diapers. Gonna have to buy some before I read any more of it, because I suspect that laughing until I pee would not be a good thing for my sofa. Maybe I’ll just read it on the toilet instead.

SPOILER ALERT—-People, Do not read this comment if you haven’t read at least through the first chapter yet….

I won’t give any spoilers here other than to say that I was already a laughing wreck but then I just lost it altogether when you said you grew up a poor black girl in New York….. (Steve Martin, aka The Jerk, should be so proud of this reference!)
455 Simone April 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm: Can we make this the “Comment of the Day”:

“I suspected this is all just fever dreams from the coma I’m obviously in, but this pretty much proves it. I’ll miss you all when I come out of this coma.”

I quoted you in my blog, hope that’s okay… So happy for you.
Simone recently posted..Oh, this happened
456 Susan D. April 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm: Oh, and I LOVE Amy’s suggestion here that you have the fans at your book signings sign a book for you!
457 Sarah April 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm: I had to stop reading last night cause I was choking on my spit & couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard. That’s right, you, attempted murder, right here.
I also agree with above that you should add some podunk towns, or at least the Inland NW, to your book tour so I can come gape at you too.
458 alikwat April 18, 2012 at 3:42 pm: i received my bookplate last week.
i received my book yesterday.
i will buy the people magazine (sure to become a collector’s item) today.
though the value of such things would surely go up if you croaked, please don’t; we already lost dick clark (though he’s been dead for years… ba dump bump, chhhhhh) and i haven’t finished the book yet.
congratulations for being fucking awesome. a close friend of mine speaks of tribes that we all find ourselves gravitating to; methinks you are one of my tribe.
alikwat recently posted..Umm
459 Katy April 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm: I love Felicia Day so much….

You’ve come a long way, Jenny, and I’m so happy to have known you briefly (and mostly through my mom) and so happy that you have had this success! True story…your old boss’ boss (I.H.) called my mom on the phone this weekend to tell her that you were on CNN telling the presidential candidates that they needed to be more concerned about something to do with zombies. And it blew her mind. But then my mom explained it all to her and she was very impressed with you, too. Congratulations & great work!
460 Cyn April 18, 2012 at 6:53 pm: B&N said mine is on its way. Best I can tell that’s about 3.89 stars there, Sistah, it’s been nice knowin’ ya.

Cyn
461 Cyn April 18, 2012 at 6:56 pm: P.S. If I signed your book I would say “Your a really cool girl. Wish I got to know you better. Good luck in 8th grade.”
462 Rachel April 19, 2012 at 7:55 am: Just have to say – I started reading your book yesterday. I’m only on #3 on the list of “Things Most People Have Never Experienced or Could Have Even Possibly Imagined but That Totally Happened to Me” and already I’ve nearly given myself a hernia from laughing so hard. In fact, I can’t read this book in public, because trying to contain the full-on belly laugh is just too difficult. I just wanted to say that you’re my hero.
463 Julie April 19, 2012 at 7:55 am: YAYAYAYAYAY! My ebook was available on Monday and I got my actual book on Tuesday – love the end paper!

Sadly, I never got my bookplate.

Jules
464 Emily April 19, 2012 at 8:40 am: I’m on page 53 and I’m already laughing out loud. My coworkers are starting to think I’m a little crazy. And yes, I’m reading your book at work. It’s ok, my work is cool like that.

Don’t mind me, the crazy lady laughing in her cubicle.
465 Bean's talk April 19, 2012 at 9:50 am: Oooh, I’ve been away all week sans internettiness and come back to an email from Amazon telling my my copy is on its way – woooooot! Can’t wait.
466 Janet April 19, 2012 at 11:44 am: Your success is well deserved. Enjoy it!
Janet recently posted..And just like that…
467 Jaimzblond April 19, 2012 at 1:00 pm: Just bought your book. It’d had better be funny or ADIOS MUTHERFUCKER!
J/k, but I really hopes it’s as entertaining as your blog….
468 Emily April 19, 2012 at 5:16 pm: I just got your book today! I pre-ordered it so that it would be signed, but it wasnt. Nevertheless, i am so excited to read it! The blurbs on the back alone were cracking me up! Congrats! Thanks for the blessed hours of entertainment.
469 Emmaw April 19, 2012 at 5:17 pm: Remember us when you’re crazy famous! And well done!, x
470 Amanda April 19, 2012 at 7:52 pm: You are amazing and incredible and inspiring. I bought your freaking book in NOVEMBER! But I didn’t have the foresight to order the Kindle version so it’s stuck in USPS hell. I literally cannot WAIT to read it!
471 LeAnne April 20, 2012 at 10:44 am: Lovin It!
I wanted to give you the link to my website. I developed a product for a friend who was having dicomfort when she was breastfeeding. Well, word got around that it was working great for her and http://www.borntobee.com was born. Come see what the buzz is about
472 leah April 20, 2012 at 11:13 am: YES! my copy from amazon arrived yesterday and I’m already 100 pages into it. I’ve laughed/cried til i couldn’t see straight.
I’m making my mom read this as soon as I’m done with it.
congrats Jenny!
leah recently posted..omg omg!!! more Saures hurry!!!!!
473 Kirsti April 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm: Okay, it’s taking me forever to read your book, even though I spend every spare minute I have locked away from my children trying to read it. The reason for my difficult progression? I keep giggling so hard I can’t breathe. Who else could be so charming, so hilarious, and so dangerous at the same time but you? Seriously, I love you. (Too creepy? Sorry.)
474 Daniel Snowden April 26, 2012 at 1:39 pm: I didn’t heed your warning about the high school chapter. I’m totally having horrible flashbacks…and using the word “totally” a lot.

OMG IT’S HERE, YOU GUYS

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