Apparently we’re all full up on horses asses in this house.

Texts to Victor…

me:  Hey, guess what?  I finally found the perfect barstools!

Victor:  Wow.  That had better be a half-assed attempt at a joke.

me:  You’re terrible at math.  It’s at least two asses full.  Plus, we’ll look like centaurs from the back.  SO AWESOME.

Victor:  I’m canceling all of your credit cards until you’re responsible enough to not shop for furniture at places that have dirt instead of carpet.

206 replies. read them below or add one

  1. HA HA HA! Victor should take his show on the road! ;) He is funny!

    thedoseofreality recently posted “Arie” Watching This Season Of The Bachelorette?.

  2. I may have just died from laughing and am commenting from the afterlife. Those are AWESOME. I just need to talk my husband into them now. I mean, who couldn’t want to look like a centaur from the back??

    Jane recently posted Memorial Day.

  3. Best. Find. Ever. Now quick… go hide your credit cards!

    Jess recently posted Knowing to Move On.

  4. I love your conversations with Victor. Also? Buy the ass stools. Use cash.

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted G is for Great.

  5. I cannot decide whether I am more in love with you or with Victor.

    I am a little sad you didn’t take pictures of one of you sitting on one of the stools, so we could test the centaur theory.

    Marjorie recently posted What I did for the rest of the day.

  6. These are really the best barstools.

    Jena recently posted Hello world!.

  7. Those are awesome with awesome sauce on the side

  8. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth?

  9. I’ve supported some of your more fantastical leanings (like Beyonce and even the snake awhile back) but I might have to put my hoof… I mean foot down on this one.

    Step away from the horse bar stools. Step very very far away.

    Brandon S recently posted Les Jardin Chinois - A Study in Whimsy.

  10. Buy them, anyway, and when he grouches about it, tell him, “Why the long face?” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Cathy recently posted Exhaustion and Wardrobe Malfunctions.

  11. Is Victor being a horses “ass” ? ;-)

    Kidding… I love them, want them, need them.

  12. tell Victor it just adds that certain necessary je ne sais quoi to your place.

    Squishy Amber recently posted Bittersweet.

  13. I’ll co-sign a new credit card for you. Those would go perfectly with my hot pink cuckoo clock, stuffed don king looking squirrel and rubber chicken named Henrietta who takes up residence in my living room.

  14. Dirt instead of carpet… AWESOME. Classic Victor!

  15. Those are the only bar stools I’ve ever seen that I like. You’re hired.

  16. omg that is the best bar stool ever!!! hillarious!

    Miami Makeup Artist Veronica recently posted What’s in my Makeup Bag?.

  17. Ah, that’s the stool sample the Dr. had ordered.

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  18. Those are completely bloody amazing! I should clearly *start* shopping for furniture that have dirt instead of carpet….

    Nat recently posted Jive Night: the Doggone Honkabillies.

  19. Holy shitballs, Jenny. People should know by now just to SEND you shit like this. FREE. Like, you call to order stuff and when they ask you your name and you’re all, “Jenny, Jenny Lawson” they’ll be all, “HOLY FUCK! PUT YOUR CREDIT CARD AWAY YOUR HIGHNESS!!!!!!”

    Carm recently posted I Blog In Spurts (that’s what she said) My Randomness..

  20. What’s that saying, a horse’s ass under yours is worth more than two in a bushel?

    Wait, I think I’m mixing up my animals again. Oh nevermind, just tell Victor they’d be awesome conversation starters. I mean hell, need he look any further than your own blog for proof of THAT? ;-)

  21. My dad used to say, there are more horses asses than horses in the world. You just proved his theory.

  22. The question really isn’t, “why would you want a horses ass bar stool” … the question is, “why WOULDN’T you.” Those, definitely, are a must-have!

    Todd recently posted Blogging Lessons: Final Lesson.

  23. So that’s what happens when horses walk into a bar.

    Melissa recently posted The Parental Matrix.

  24. You should send one of these to Governor Perry. I’m sure he’d appreciate the likeness!

    sj recently posted The Hornswoggle, The Boondoggle, And the Fall of Constantinople.

  25. 25
    Fox in the Box

    I see only one flaw … There’s only two of them.

  26. I would very much like to own those. That’s all.

    LisaR @ Who Stole My Baby? recently posted Don’t Stay in Motels with the Word “Diamond” in the Name.

  27. please tell me when you get these you will take pictures of your centaur selves?

  28. How can you not get them? They are Ass stools for your ass. It is impossible for anything to be more perfect.

    Also, it should be required that anyone sitting on the ass stool wear a unicorn hat.

    The only thing better than a centaur is a unicorn centaur.

    Pinot Ninja recently posted How to Make Home Depot Your B*tch.

  29. Holy crap, it’s like a horse mullet. Business up front, party in the ass.

  30. Awesome! At least you’re adventurous enough to at the very least consider them and at the most explain them should anyone invited over be bold enough to ask. I think they’re artistic :)

  31. So what you’re saying is that you bought dozens of these and have replaced every seat in the entire house with them. And are currently working with a plumber to turn one into a toilet.

    I mean, obviously.

    Celeste recently posted Please don't leave me.

  32. Well, I WAS happy with the like-new barstools I found for $40 at a secondhand store. Now I’m just disappointed by how plain and boring they are. If Victor’s really pissed, I’d be happy to trade with you :-)

    Natalie recently posted Maybe.

  33. I love that they use horseshoes as the little bar for your feet!

  34. I love your conversations with Victor! I can’t believe he doesn’t want those ass seats; that man has no taste….. in furniture…… he so totally has good taste in women. Look who he married! :)

    Kat recently posted Water Woes.

  35. Victor should have his credit cards canceled for not going along with your plans to buy these. Gosh, perfect barstool for you better half and he doesn’t even appreciate the gesture. Men.

    Allison recently posted Greatest Hits - The Best of Have Novel, Will Edit Pt. II.

  36. Wouldn’t this just further your “Unicorn” look?

  37. “I’m canceling all of your credit cards until you’re responsible enough to not shop for furniture at places that have dirt instead of carpet.”

    But it’s Texas! You can’t possibly expect to find great furniture in carpeted stores in Texas.

    Tiffany recently posted Lessons Learned and Another Rant.

  38. 39
    Imperfect Jessica

    Obviously he doesn’t know the designers code of “all the best stuff comes from stores that have dirt floors instead of carpets”.

    Imperfect Jessica recently posted Mirror.

  39. I thought they were fancy wine mugs at first. I just thought I wasn’t posh enough to understand rich people ways.

  40. *sigh* I am afraid this is just one more proof that Victor is not yet aware of what is awesome and what is ridiculous. The stools? Awesome. Canceling credit cards? Ridiculous.

  41. Is it bad that I’d have to paint them up to look like My Little Ponies if they ended up in my house? It would mean I’d need 6 of them… but they’d be awesome.

  42. I really need to see what those look like with people sitting in them.

    John Lewis recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  43. Add a party hat while sitting and you are a unicorn!

    eileen recently posted Juror 17 Part Two!.

  44. Nope Victor is dead wrong there you can find some of the best stuff in places with dirt instead of carpets. Also it’s Texas doesn’t he want to support small businesses, they are the backbone of the economy. Hasn’t he seen the commercial?

  45. If Victor wants to be a spoil sport and hide your credit cards, you can always take to The Twitter and have all your Lawsbians pay for your centaur butt stools. Check and mate, Victor!

  46. That is absolutely hilarious. Victor is a dream crusher. Straight out.

    Sara recently posted Next to Normal.

  47. 48
    Shannon Fielding

    O-M-G! Want!

  48. I knew I should’ve asked you for advice when I was decorating my new apartment!

    Annie Jay recently posted Breathe In, Breathe Out.

  49. Those are hilarious. Someone actually had to come up with the idea to create those. That would be an interesting meeting.

    BatPoopCrazy recently posted I want to smother him with my pillow.

  50. And PS – Looking like centaurs while sitting is probably the best reason to buy any piece of furniture

    Annie Jay recently posted Breathe In, Breathe Out.

  51. Wow. Just wow. I wanna see the bar. I kind of think it needs to be engulfed in flames or something to do those justice.

    Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: Running Down a Dream Without Running Down Pedestrians.

  52. Jenny I think you’d make a hot centaur! Tell me you atleast too a pick of yourself sitting in one!!! I would have totally asked a complete stranger to take my pic on the horse’s ass!

    Candy @ Candypolooza recently posted Baby is Getting Flavor with Beech Nut Goya.

  53. You really need those. If the cougar comes attacking, they can be weapons.

    I used to do taxidermy for a major museum. I can teach you how to do your own basic taxidermy with mostly little financial outlay.

  54. 55
    Vicki bickford

    They’re horrifying! That said, I have the perfect spot, right in my living room. and everyone who sees them would be all the better for having been there. I’m all about making the world a better place to live!

  55. 56
    MyDogFartsWhenSheBarks!

    Are you sure those are horses asses? They look too short for horses. They’re too tall for Shetland Ponies, too. Maybe they’re ass asses, as in donkey’s and/or mules?

  56. That is, with little financial outlay. Cut and paste went wrong.

  57. I just saw one of those at an antique market here in KC. Except they’d painted the horse actual horse colors. I tried to get my mom to sit in it for a picture, but she refused. Something about ‘being a horses ass’. I argued that she wouldn’t be the ass, but the front. She’d be a centaur! She still said “no”.

    Cindy recently posted GARDEN DIARIES.

  58. Buy them, take them home and when Victor freaks out, say “At least they’re not towels!” And then claim that you made a “half-assed” attempt to tell him earlier.

  59. I sort of love those.

    It is probably a good thing I’m not super rich. Between stuff like this and my strange obsession with pastel zoo animals, my house would be a very strange place.

    Curiosity recently posted Are you my mom or step-father? You should probably close your eyes, then. This post is broken. It causes blindness. And hives. And it’s full of pictures of regurgitated food. On spiders. Singing Ke$ha songs..

  60. Every party has a pooper!

  61. Oooooh-those are amazing. Do they swivel?

  62. So…those are from a quarter horse?

  63. I just choked on my drink. I love Victor!

    Keitha recently posted Memorial Weekend.

  64. So, someone could walk into the room and exclaim, “Horse’s patootie!” and it wouldn’t be a mild/mildly amusing cuss? I need one.

    Dana the Biped recently posted I'm Alive! And Tan(nish)! And Clothed!.

  65. Wait a second! There are stores that are carpeted?! Where?

    Morgan Eckstein recently posted Poor magicians.

  66. Hold out for the day you find taxidermied horses ass bar stools.

  67. Why must Victor kill our dreams?

    RachRiot recently posted The Perfect Trip.

  68. I don’t understand why Victor doesn’t just give up at this point. Hasn’t he been married to you long enough to KNOW that the places with dirt are the first place you go?

  69. I now have a girl crush on Victor. It’s about time you manned up.

    Laurie F. recently posted Haiku Heights: Change.

  70. Horse’s ass. That’s normally what I say when I’m frustrated. I should own one of those.

    Barbara recently posted Whole 30 For Arthritis.

  71. Oh…those are EXCELLENT. If you and Hailey wore paste-on or tie-on horns, you could be Unicorn Centaurs in those chairs!!

    Jess @ No Pithy Phrase recently posted Xena Warrior Princess Trampled Tuesday.

  72. Is it terribly wrong that I REALLY want those? ‘Cause if it is, I don’t want to be right!

    Justice recently posted Not Doing Okay.

  73. At least it’s not towels.

  74. I really hope you bought them because, seriously, only a dumb ass would turn those down.

    Karen Peterson recently posted Let the Summer Reading Begin with a Giveaway!.

  75. Please tell me you bought those before Mister Curmudgeon took the card! :-p

    Allison recently posted Thinking About Running a Pinterest Contest? Pinterest has New Rules You Need to Know..

  76. HAhahahahah these are great.

  77. I lived in Texas for 32 years and never found anything that cool, even shopping in the hill country. You should give advertising shout outs. And Victor is dead wrong.

  78. I TOTALLY want those! Husband has a horse’s ass trophy, so this will be some great strange fashion statement… Also, I’m thinking of framing a stuffed beaver. Its fine. Normal.
    Sarah
    http://www.thinfluenced.com

    Sarah recently posted Bestowed Review & Giveaway!.

  79. So the White Witch of Narnia has opened up shop in Texas? Boy did she pick the wrong state to ply her wares…

    whatimeant2say recently posted If You’re Not Going to Do it Right, Then Don’t Bother Doing It At All.

  80. Oh god, they must be about 2 grand because I love them and I have expensive taste. You can’t post something like that and not tell us where you saw them.

  81. Just tell Victor you would never do a half-assed attempt at a joke, while sitting in the half ass horse, and he might let you buy them

    Mexmom recently posted Random things.

  82. Seriously, Victor, it’s like you don’t even KNOW Jenny! How could she NOT buy these?

  83. 84
    Catrina_woman (@sccvespa)

    Oh these trump the saddle stools at the Laguinitas beer tasting room! I want to be a beer drinking Centaur!

  84. Afraid to show these to my husband since he shares your decorating taste.

    Mary recently posted Santa Carolina Carmenere.

  85. Furniture stores that have dirt instead of carpet are the best kind of furniture stores. That’s where all the class is.

    KMB recently posted WTF Wednesday: Derpy Cougar and Coyote Faces.

  86. Those stools give new meaning to sitting around on your ass. Brilliant.

    Dawnie recently posted Make Some Noise.

  87. I immediately thought centaurs as well. Those are very cool.

    Mayor Gia recently posted Happy Memorial Day!.

  88. So much want! But I need 4 for my table (stable?)

  89. 91
    Wafflequeen

    It would be a crime if you DIDN’T buy those. Seriously, awesome addition to any home.

  90. Those rock! How do you know if they are horse asses or unicorn asses?

    Punky Coletta recently posted It gives me hope for humanity that things like this exist..

  91. How do you FIND these things?! I NEVER find cool stuff like this when I’m shopping. Dude, you are like a magnet for weird stuff – it finds YOU!

    Sherry recently posted Pelican Yogis.

  92. *dies*

    When I first starting reading your blog, I thought Victor was just some poor schlub who had somehow been trapped into marriage with a wild and crazy woman like you, and wondered why you wanted this dull guy. Now I’ve finally realized that he just hides it better! ;D

  93. Lol @ Victor. I would pay good money to be a fly on the wall at your house for a day. Thanks for being you and sharing yourself with the rest of us. :-)

  94. Or a satyr (half goat half man)…the tail would be wrong but being a satyr you would be expected to be staning on only two hooves (just like the stools) and have no place to sit on your back. But if people thought you were a centaur they’d be all like…Where’s the rest of your back? Where do I sit? How can I ride you off into the woods? Then you would have to get into a big arugment about why you didn’t want to be ridden into the woods because clearly you are a wild creature of the plains who shouldn’t be tamed…and who has the time for that?

    – Sometimes I write things, then realize what a big geek I am, then I can’t decide if I should be ashamed or proud.

    Laura recently posted You suck, Treo..

  95. Ha ha! Those are great! And my husband would be BEGGING me to get them!

  96. Jessica has it backwards… It’s the reverse of a mullet. They’re bar stools, right? And asses? That means they’re party in the front and business in the back… Yeah, I went there. :-P

  97. 99
    Rev. Mary Helen

    Definitely unicorn butts. And I’m a little disappointed that there is no pic of you sitting in one.

  98. Those are some nice big ass stools. I do think you need pictures of people sitting in them so we can see if you really do look like a centaur from behind.

    Heather recently posted Take that phone and chuck it. Thank you, Kevin Williamson..

  99. 101
    E M Foster

    Awesome bar stools!! I think they are even better than the ones that make you look like you’re wearing a thong when you sit down in them. Personally, I’d much rather look like a centaur. :-D

  100. Now, I appreciate whimsy as much as the next person – but those bar stools are butt ugly.

    And yes, I see what I did there.

    Maura @ Eve Was Partially Right recently posted So Long, and Thanks For All the Salmon.

  101. Centaurinis for everyone!!!! Just remember, don’t drink and trot.

    Julie the Wife recently posted Aftermath of a Long Weekend.

  102. please for the love of all things good, take a picture of you and/or victor sitting in your half ass stools looking proud centaurs.

  103. Best barstools EVER!!!

    Amanda R. recently posted Boys, An Update.

  104. Dirt instead of carpet.

    Priceless. Classic. Perfection.

    I’m kinda loving Victor, as creepy as that may be.

    And I gotta say, your ass is hot.

    Carrie recently posted It probably doesn’t matter to you that I didn’t get breakfast in bed, but at least I don’t say “bosom.”.

  105. Must be owned…or how in the hell do you find this shit?

  106. You just posted two posts in a day….the centaurs have gotten to you!

    Miss Gee recently posted "It's Like Forgetting The Words To Your Favorite Song".

  107. Oh, my. Those are interesting. I am fascinated.

    Sarah B. recently posted Preventing Boredom.

  108. You are amazingly funny. And I love how you have a witty quip for EVERYTHING!!! You’re just plain amazing.

    Brooke recently posted Walking Through The Woods....

  109. 112
    Brittany

    Hey, so you got a wild mare up your ass and bought some horse stools. It happens. Though in hindsight, you should have just told him you bought horse stools without sending a photo. Then once you brought them home, he would have been relieved that it wasn’t the alternative.

  110. To borrow a Homer Simpson quote, “But, I’m using my *whole* ass.”

    Daniel J. Hogan recently posted The Cat Hockey League Original Six.

  111. Maybe less like Centaurs and more like…horse Satyrs?

    I’m probably not helping.

    Jen recently posted Something to relate to.

  112. I think you’ll look more like Fauns then centaurs, but who’s keeping track anymore. Still AWESOME!

    CrissyM recently posted GRUMBLE.

  113. Victor has a point about the carpets thought. Those horses asses deserve red carpet treatment!!

    Miss Gee recently posted The Only Way I Can Improve Things With T Man Is To Measure It. Apparently. Don't Ask Me What It Is..

  114. I am so glad to ” know” you :-)

  115. I want

  116. At least it’s not towels…

  117. I think you and Victor have a very similar relationship to me and my husband. This obviously means we are both awesome…and that we enjoy yanking our husband’s chains…figuratively, of course. What you do with your husband’s chain in real life is your business.

    As long as the police don’t need to be involved.

    Here’s a post about what I said in voicemails I left my husband that I knew he’d never listen to.

    http://lisanewlin.com/2013/03/voicemails-to-my-husband-a-love-story/

    Lisa Newlin recently posted A new retainer, and for once, not the legal kind!.

  118. When I win the lottery, I totally want to go shopping with you! Those are *asstacular*!

    DogsDontPurr recently posted Foot in Mouth....again......

  119. 122
    Lady Penelope

    Oh I so need a bar for those … I *love* them!

  120. I love them. That is all.

  121. I want 25 of those stools for my front yard, place randomly. Then I want to have a party. And it will get dark and we’ll light a big fire, and all look like centaurs in the flickering shadows. Oh yeah. Somebody leak it to the local paper, please.

  122. Ha! Those are great! :D

    Nicole recently posted Video Poem: “Home”.

  123. I wonder how many of those were originally made?
    and asking WHY will just confuse my brain.

  124. 127
    Terri Hayes

    Oh man, I want them.

  125. 128
    casa de estrogen

    it’s like Victor meets you for the first time everyday! i think he should worry when those texts stop…

  126. When I look at the one closest in the pic, I can’t help, but feel as if that horse’s ass is getting ready to bust a fart….with the tail up and all.

    Rico Swaff recently posted A Fun-Lovin’ Group of Porn Stars, Excited While Ridin’ the X-Scream.

  127. I showed them to my boo. First he said “Why?” and then he said “No.” I should go hide my card, too. We are truly in need of new chairs. I think we need those.

    Courtney Weber recently posted When Witches Partner with Witches.

  128. My favorite part is his comment about the dirt floors. Awesome.

    sparkling74 recently posted The Wedding.

  129. All hail Victor and his comments, loved that.

    Jack recently posted A Writer’s Voice.

  130. My girlfriend threatened to cut off my credit card when I bought vagina bookends. My point is that these people are crazy! With your horse ass stools and my vagina bookends we have the start of one great playroom for an evil dictator.

    Damien recently posted On Turned Tables and Language Tests.

  131. Those are AWESOME! I definitely need those for my lake house – Specifically for my husband and his best friend (who I loathe – the best friend, not the husband). They are perfect :D

  132. I need these in my life, where can I get them?!

  133. Those poor centaurs are missing something very important…or maybe they’ve just been gelded.

    For Love or Funny recently posted I’m in love with another man and my husband doesn’t know.

  134. I think shopping at a place that has dirt instead of carpet is brilliant! You always know what you’re going to find at a place that has carpet, but with dirt it’s just one surprise after another…

    Brenda Dion recently posted Best Dessert Drink: Key Lime Pie Martini.

  135. These would make sense to use in a bar that only served Budweiser.

    moooooog35 recently posted Maybe my kindergarten was a little different.

  136. Those remind me a little of the bar stools at Rainforest Cafe: http://bit.ly/11oRlUP- you can have a tail there!

  137. These are FABULOUS!

  138. The best seat in the house…. And I have a perfect occupant; my ex-husband! Depending on the day he’s either a world class gnat or the biggest jack-ass you’ll ever meet!

  139. Your husband is SO UNREASONABLE! How can those not be a good idea? They’re incredibly versatile – not only are they stools and will make your butt look cool when you sit in them, but the cats will love them and will finally have the long legs they’ve always wanted and you can use them as a base for sculptures (I envision two toothsome horses fighting to the death) and you can put plants on them and put them by the front door so that people have to pass through the horsetails to get into your home…my god, the possibilities are endless. Why doesn’t Victor see this?
    Do you need to borrow my credit cards? They’re mostly maxed-out but if you put them all together, I think they could all chip in enough to cover these.

    Erica O recently posted House of the Dying Dog.

  140. Always willing to help flap the unflappable, I googled taxidermy+barstool…

  141. I’m going back to your unicorn make out session here and I think someone owes you money for these: http://www.modcloth.com/shop/kitchen-gadgets/unicorn-on-the-cob-shaker-set

    Just saying, you made it up first.

  142. omg, where do you find these things, those are too funny

    Alison recently posted What is thinspo and why is it so dangerous.

  143. That Victor! He has such high standards for your shopping locales!

    Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted A Tale of Two Teddies.

  144. Haha, the dirt v. carpet observation is so true. Except Victor’s got it backwards, the dirt floor is totally a pre-requisite to amazing furniture choices.

    Kp recently posted Best Friends Fur-ever..

  145. And now I have a Charlie Daniels Band song stuck in my head . . .

    Robyn Straley recently posted On beer and community . . ..

  146. The lesson here is don’t show Victor anything until you make a no-money-back purchase.

    Katja recently posted Dear Diary: I ate a cookie. Or three..

  147. OMG! I want those so bad!!!! Where on earth did you find them?

    Cara Lyn Erickson recently posted How to (Try to) Get Your Book Published.

  148. I’m amazed that someone came up with the idea to create these. I mean they’re pretty cool, but what kind of decor screams out for horse’s ass stools?

    Sue recently posted Van Gogh swirls on Bogie's rear.

  149. I wish I had been drinking when I hit the comment – Quarter Horses!!!!! Spit take, take me away.

    Victor was probably thinking, dirt =’s stalls, stalls =’s poo, poo =’s Jenny in the dog house….
    Too bad the tails weren’t real. HA

    Tammy Frederick recently posted Someone posted on Facebook- bra sizing.

  150. For real…this weekend I actually got hugged by two horses and two donkeys. My husband was just looking at me like I was crazy for walking into a horse corral. It is like boys don’t even understand us girls…

    Sarah recently posted May Oh May.

  151. So did you buy them? Those stools would probably make for the best dinner parties ever!

    Amanda recently posted A Shout Into the Void.

  152. Those are… the most… interesting/disturbing/horrific/amazing bar stools EVER.

    Bethany Lovell recently posted Sneak preview from book 2.

  153. How could he not love those barstools? I don’t even HAVE a bar and I want them.

    Marianne recently posted 26 Minutes.

  154. They were ridiculous and kitschy until you mentioned the centaurs, now they are AMAZING! you could paint them to match your coloring! I am so much more excited about this than I should be

    Kitty recently posted Let's talk (knitting) needles.

  155. You know who else doesn’t have carpets in their stores? Pottery Barn. Guess who’ll be selling horse ass chairs next season? Victor clearly knows nothing about trendsetting.

    debby recently posted Offline dating. Sort of..

  156. And all I have is a collection of flying pigs (aka Pigasus. Pigases? Pigasuses?)

    GeekGoddess recently posted Giordano’s Chicago Pizza Blues.

  157. Those horses’ asses have HORRIBLE conformation. Wouldn’t buy them at all. Probably unsound and won’t hold up to everyday use.

  158. Oh I want those so bad! Anything that makes you look like a centaur from the back is a win!

    Jade recently posted I saved the world again, and no one will ever know...unless they read my blog.

  159. Those are great stools! You good totally re-create the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe movie. Victor could be Mr Tumnus, and you coud be his bitch, or Centauress. It would totally be X rated…..in a barn animal sex way! Wierd and probably illegal.
    May I direct you to “Anatomy of the Centaus” ….for interest sake.

    http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume12/v12i5/centaur-12-5.pdf

  160. I have the feeling these stools would get better the drunker you got. Plus you’d have a great excuse to scream “Yippee ki yay, motherfucker!”, although really does one even NEED an excuse? That phrase is awesome enough on its own to warrant reason-free yelling.

    Adrasteia recently posted At least there was no touching..

  161. I have got to stop shopping at Walmart.

    They never have cool shit like this.

    HogsAteMySister recently posted ‘Don’t Drink and Jump,’ Warn NZ Authorities About Bouncy Castle Danger.

  162. I’m in the middle of treatment for breast cancer and your blog is a huge huge HUGE part of what keeps my spirits up. Thank you!!!!

  163. Hahaha, a store that has carpet instead of dirt! Yeah, maybe time to upgrade on the store selections. Awesome.

    Joanne recently posted I googled what a Goan & Viet baby would look like… and I’m scared.

  164. 168
    Michelle F

    If only they swiveled…

  165. Those are made of pure awesome! So full of win. How does Victor not see this? At least it’s not towels…

    Devon S recently posted It's the little things.

  166. I totally need these.

    Jillianne recently posted counter-mobility.

  167. 171
    E. Lauer

    You’re both wrong with the math. Because they’re scooped out to let you sit comfortably, each is only half an ass (and if they aren’t horses, but donkeys, which I seriously doubt, then they’re about a fifth of an ass). If there are two of them, you have a total of one ass.
    Maybe Victor was hopeful that you only intended to get one for you, and leave him with a boring stool, so that’s where the half ass comment could have come from.

  168. Now, THAT would be a great gift for the funny people in my life.

    I Love Gifting recently posted Gift in a jar: The thought counts.

  169. It would appear you can be either rich OR sane, not both…
    Either way, you rock, Jenny.

  170. Those are amazing! Would be better though if you could slip your legs to hide them. It would look like a bar full of satyrs.

    Observacious recently posted 10 Great Neil Patrick Harris award show moments.

  171. Nice piece of ass you got there…

    Claire J recently posted To Rest My Eyes In Shades Of Green….

  172. Seriously though, if Victor wont let you get them pass along the link so I CAN GET THEM!!!! It will be almost as good ;)

  173. 177
    karawithak

    I don’t know why this website made me think of you immediately:

    http://io9.com/the-worlds-most-awkward-taxidermy-509470092

  174. You may have found yourself in Medusa’s garden. Run now, then read Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief so you’ll be able to spot these things yourself in the future.

  175. What would make them even BETTER is if they were gender accurate.

  176. 180
    square eyes

    I forwarded the photo to my boyfriend and told him I found his future barstools. His reply was a disappointing “not so much” when what I was hoping to read was “nay”. Missed opportunity!

  177. 181
    nancy staub

    PRICELESS!!!!!! THEY SHOULD JUST SEND THEM TO YOU!!!!!

  178. I wonder if these come in bronze.

  179. Victor needs his own column on your blog. LOL

  180. speaking of half assed, there is a miniature donkey farm up the road from here called Half Assed.

    Keaven recently posted Stationery Card.

  181. Please, please tell me you bought those.

  182. Watching Clink Eastwood and reading you. Don’t know who’s more of a badass!

  183. What’s wrong with shopping at stores that have dirt floors? I’m offended, Victor.

  184. 188
    Heather Willats

    LOVE THOSE!!! Exactly what I’m looking for! Unique.

  185. I cannot WAIT to move back to Texas (3 weeks)! My husband is going to DIE when he finds out there is stuff like this all over the place. Such a great state!

  186. so if one wanted to look like a centaur where would I find those barstools? My mom NEEDS those in her house!

  187. Um…can you really be all full-up on horse ass? Say it isn’t so!!!

    Meg Mc recently posted When I’m about to remove my pants, It’s not a good time to try and make me solve your fucking riddles, Dan Brown..

  188. OMG….I must have those…..AWESOMENESS….
    Did you buy them? Where are they?

  189. I want those so badly! If he doesn’t let you buy them, send me the link :)

    Sharona Zee recently posted Happy Trails to You.

  190. I’m sorry but those are 20 ways of awesome. Kind of like the bar stools that make everyone look like they are wearing a thong. That would be in a bar in Florida. Because that is appropriate. :D

    Woman_on_Pause recently posted Go Home Florida, you’re Drunk.

  191. Oh no, I wasn’t quite ready for that. I do not want them because they make me snort and spray my coffee.

    Cathie recently posted Organic Lawn Care.

  192. ZOMG! I love those so much. Was Victor trying to make upon when he said half assed?
    (You know what’s funny? I’ve had to learn the military also that to be able to spell things with my speech software and it didn’t know how to say Victor, so to spell “Victor,” I had to say “Victor India Charlie tango Oscar Romeo,” the first word of which — you might have noticed — is “VICTOR”!

    Sharon Wachsler recently posted Shit People Say to People with Speech Impairments.

  193. 197
    Stephanie

    If he won’t go for the horse stools, perhaps he would agree to these? http://ladyornot.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Bar-stools.jpg

  194. This reminds me of a picture I saw someone post of a sink that has the lower half of a person on it:

    http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2012/03/18/more-urinals/

    Kind of links the previous post to this one you could say.

    CaJoh recently posted Pen(ish) Pal.

  195. Where can you find those?! I want them!

  196. http://io9.com/the-worlds-most-awkward-taxidermy-509470092

    You have probably seen this, but if you haven’t it really needs to be in next week’s wrap up. And inquiring minds want to know how many of these you would own if you could.

  197. I needed the laugh that gave me… I started to tear up I was laughing so hard.

  198. Bahahahaha – you should buy these should be for your next wedding anniversary!!

  199. arghhhh – laughing too much – previous comment should read: “You should buy these for your next wedding anniversary!”

  200. Oh. My. Fucking. Shit! I must own these.

  201. I must know where you found these. i live in san antonio too!

  202. Does anyone know where I can purchase one of these amazing bar stood from?

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