So long, Britney

Apparently Britney Spears’ children were eaten by wombats while she was making plaster casts of her vagina to hand out to paparazzi on 10th street.  When asked why she left her two young children in the wombat feeding trough she said “I’m country, ya’ll”.  She was then was beaten to death by spectators who were just tired of seeing her vulva. 

 Not really, but don’t you just know that’s how this all has to end?

21 thoughts on “So long, Britney

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I was going to make a joke that had something to do with “vulva” and tiny foreign cars but it just seemed so played.

    Is there any chance we can just beat up Britney Spears without needing a pretext? Can’t we all just get along…while beating Britney Spears? Can’t we all just unite…while ho-smacking this pop-“diva” who can’t make a career for herself now that she’s too old for the pedophiles to notice?

    Ho-smack is a funny word.

  2. You’d think with all of that money she could pay someone to teach her how to act. and dress. and get out of a car with her legs closed.

    Guess not. The redneck just keeps shining through!

  3. That bitch drives me bonkers. Everyone has problems, only I don’t air mine or my vagina to the world thankyouverymuch.

  4. I CANNOT see her making a comeback after all that’s happened the last few months – her fanbase is older, busier and beginning to be appalled (hello, they’re all college students now, right?)

    I agree with the wombats theory. That or her ex will get custody of the kids (scary that I think that’s a good idea, huh?) and she’ll do something deeply symbolic like have their names tattooed on her forehead. Or her crotch.

  5. Trust me when I say, the people of Louisiana will love Britney no matter what she does. They think she is the bomb…..

  6. As an ex-foster mom I just find this whole story frightening and incredibly sad. Her children will suffer.

    On a lighter note, re: Apparently Britney Spears’ children were eaten by wombats

    Did you know that Bobcats only eat Bobs?(link above)

    At least that is what we’ve told our daughter when a bobcat visted our home and Daddy’s name is bob…..:)

  7. i hate that she says she’s “country” she’s not country, she’s TRASH!!! I am country…most texans are country. Brit is TRASH!!!!

    *deep breath*

    oh that felt good

  8. I don’t know…I love hearing about people that are crazier than I am, but those awful wigs or weaves or whatever she has on her head at any given time give me the heebeegeebees.

  9. Ah, Brit Brit. Sigh.

    You know, I come by my Redneck, white trash label honestly. I was born to it.

    But I still managed to keep my legs closed and underwear on.

    Well, most of the time.

  10. Oh, that poor girl. Seriously, I feel really bad for her. She needs a good friend or two. I worry for her that she is making it increasingly likely that she is going to lose her children and I really do think she loves them, even if she is clueless about how to care for them or herself. I hope if it comes to that, it might be the wakeup call she needs to pull her self together.

  11. I’ve been rooting for her to get her life together, but it’s looking worse and worse.

    By the way, I have nice photo of you from BlogHer without alcohol, so I’ll send it to you in case you need proof there were at least a few sober moments.

  12. You Americans are so clueless when it comes to our fauna. Wombats don’t eat children, that’s platypuses. Those little duck-billed bastards will eat anything, well almost anything, no way they’d eat Britney’s vagina, they do have a some class.

  13. I am going to be lynched but throughout it all I respect that she has not just walked out on her kids. She obviously needs help, but loves her babies. A complete loon that needs panties yes! But she is staying. So far.

  14. Has anybody thought maybe poor dear Britney just has a medical condition…like I dunno she has really bad yeast infection and has been reading natural remedy books which have advised AIRING IT OUT?….or maybe she is just so freaking stoned she forgets them and…………..
    Oops i did it again
    I played without panties
    Got lost in the game,
    Oh baby baby
    Oops…you think I’m a slut
    That I’m showing my ‘gina
    And I’m not that sober

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: